THE LAST SHOW AT SING SING

THE LAST SHOW AT SING SING
With the downpour on the roof, a dormant¹ seed of self had been watered, and a bit of thehumidity of Tommy lifted. I gained just enough confidence to appear defiant². Look, I—both of us—knew we were at the end of the road long before I left. I began leaving inincrements, and in response, Tommy started making desperate last-minute attempts to getme to stay. He bought me a gorgeous but pointless Carnival³ red convertible⁴ Jaguar⁵ with acrème leather interior and matching drop top. It sat in the driveway of our thirty-million-dollar mansion—one more expensive thing to add to the lavish⁶ scrap⁷ heap that was ourmarriage.
One evening I was working with two men I had a significant creative and professionalrelationship with, whose duty it was to have moblike loyalty⁸ to Tommy. These three men,to whose wealth and prominence⁹ I had contributed considerably¹⁰, and I were sitting in thekitchen, about to have a meal break. Even though we were all “friends” sitting around thetable, facing a large, rustic¹¹ fireplace with the now sadly ironic¹² phrase “Storybook Manor”
etched in the limestone¹³ mantel (I named it that, desperately¹⁴ believing I could wish and willmy nightmare into a fairy tale), the atmosphere was anything but warm. It was cold, quiet,and pungent¹⁵ with pain and conflict, evidence to all that a dynamic in me had shifted. Ithink it embarrassed Tommy that he had lost control and lost his “woman” in front of his“boys.” Embarrassment¹⁶ enraged¹⁷ him.
He began an awkward and creepy little rant¹⁸ about the beautiful car he had just givenme, and our fabulous¹⁹ estate (which I designed and half financed), and how in spite of all ofit, I wanted to leave him. I was sitting still, looking down at the table, when Tommywalked over and picked up the butter knife from the place setting in front of me. Hepressed the flat side of it against my right cheek.
Every muscle in my face clenched²⁰. My entire body locked in place; my lungsstiffened. Tommy held the knife there. His boys watched and didn’t say a word. Afterwhat seemed like forever, he slowly dragged the thin, cool strip of metal down my burningface. I was searing with rage from the excruciating humiliation²¹ of his terrifying, cowardlyperformance in my kitchen, in front of my “colleagues.”
That was his last show with me as the captive audience at Sing Sing.
So many I considered closest to me
Turned on a dime²² and sold me out dutifully
Although that knife was chipping away at me
They turned their eyes away and went home to sleep—“Petals”
I was locked way in the bathroom, which now felt like a mausoleum, sitting on theedge of the cold tub trying to muster²³ up the courage to leave, completely. Then the wordssoftly came fluttering into my head: “Don’t be afraid to fly. Spread your wings. Open upthe door.” I hummed the melody, which would become “Fly Away (Butterfly Reprise).”
And I descended²⁴ the grand stairway for the last time. I truly believed I was going to die inthat house I built in Bedford and haunt it forever. I could just see what they’d make of it: amorbid yet festive²⁵ tourist attraction, “The Famous Ghost of Mariah Mansion,” like atasteful Graceland, where you could hear me hitting high notes in the halls at night.
When I finally walked away from Sing Sing, with little more than my wardrobe andpersonal photos, the only thing I really wanted from the house was the beautiful hand-carved mantelpiece. A masterful Eastern European craftsman²⁶ had carved it exquisitely²⁷ tomy very specific design directions. As I was leaving the house, I ran my fingers along itssmooth and intricate curves for a final farewell. Only then did I notice there was a butterflyin the center of the heart that was in the center of the structure. I did not request it but itsopen wings were the sign I so desperately needed when I let that door close behind me.
Natural disasters eventually tore down all the walls that held so much of my misery²⁸. Afew years after I left Sing Sing, it burned down to the ground. And Hillsjail wascompletely destroyed by a tornado²⁹. I was in my Manhattan penthouse when I received acall from a woman who was the former owner of my former house. She had removed themantel but put it into storage, because she found it so personal and thought I might want it.
I retrieved³⁰ it and had it painted a fresh white lacquer, just as Marilyn did with her mother’spiano. That mantel is now in my most personal room in my house, along with my familyphotographs and other precious things of mine. And I didn’t let my spirit die.

1 dormant   

adj.暂停活动的；休眠的；潜伏的

参考例句：

• Many animals are in a dormant state during winter.在冬天许多动物都处于睡眠状态。
• This dormant volcano suddenly fired up.这座休眠火山突然爆发了。

2 defiant   

adj.无礼的，挑战的

参考例句：

• With a last defiant gesture,they sang a revolutionary song as they were led away to prison.他们被带走投入监狱时，仍以最后的反抗姿态唱起了一支革命歌曲。
• He assumed a defiant attitude toward his employer.他对雇主采取挑衅的态度。

3 carnival   

n.嘉年华会，狂欢，狂欢节，巡回表演

参考例句：

• I got some good shots of the carnival.我有几个狂欢节的精彩镜头。
• Our street puts on a carnival every year.我们街的居民每年举行一次嘉年华会。

4 convertible   

adj.可改变的，可交换，同意义的；n.有活动摺篷的汽车

参考例句：

• The convertible sofa means that the apartment can sleep four.有了这张折叠沙发，公寓里可以睡下4个人。
• That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了。

5 jaguar   

n.美洲虎

参考例句：

• He was green with envy when he saw my new Jaguar car.看见我那辆美洲虎牌新车，他非常妒忌。
• Should you meet a jaguar in the jungle,just turn slowly,walk away.But slowly,never look back.你在丛林中若碰上美洲虎，就慢慢转身走开，可一定要慢，切莫回头看。

6 lavish   

adj.无节制的；浪费的；vt.慷慨地给予，挥霍

参考例句：

• He despised people who were lavish with their praises.他看不起那些阿谀奉承的人。
• The sets and costumes are lavish.布景和服装极尽奢华。

7 scrap   

n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废

参考例句：

• A man comes round regularly collecting scrap.有个男人定时来收废品。
• Sell that car for scrap.把那辆汽车当残品卖了吧。

8 loyalty   

n.忠诚，忠心

参考例句：

• She told him the truth from a sense of loyalty.她告诉他真相是出于忠诚。
• His loyalty to his friends was never in doubt.他对朋友的一片忠心从来没受到怀疑。

9 prominence   

n.突出；显著；杰出；重要

参考例句：

• He came to prominence during the World Cup in Italy.他在意大利的世界杯赛中声名鹊起。
• This young fashion designer is rising to prominence.这位年轻的时装设计师的声望越来越高。

10 considerably   

adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上

参考例句：

• The economic situation has changed considerably.经济形势已发生了相当大的变化。
• The gap has narrowed considerably.分歧大大缩小了。

11 rustic   

adj.乡村的，有乡村特色的；n.乡下人，乡巴佬

参考例句：

• It was nearly seven months of leisurely rustic living before Michael felt real boredom.这种悠闲的乡村生活过了差不多七个月之后,迈克尔开始感到烦闷。
• We hoped the fresh air and rustic atmosphere would help him adjust.我们希望新鲜的空气和乡村的氛围能帮他调整自己。

12 ironic   

adj.讽刺的，有讽刺意味的，出乎意料的

参考例句：

• That is a summary and ironic end.那是一个具有概括性和讽刺意味的结局。
• People used to call me Mr Popularity at high school,but they were being ironic.人们中学时常把我称作“万人迷先生”，但他们是在挖苦我。

13 limestone   

n.石灰石

参考例句：

• Limestone is often used in building construction.石灰岩常用于建筑。
• Cement is made from limestone.水泥是由石灰石制成的。

14 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。

15 pungent   

adj.（气味、味道）刺激性的，辛辣的；尖锐的

参考例句：

• The article is written in a pungent style.文章写得泼辣。
• Its pungent smell can choke terrorists and force them out of their hideouts.它的刺激性气味会令恐怖分子窒息，迫使他们从藏身地点逃脱出来。

16 embarrassment   

n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫

参考例句：

• She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
• Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。

17 enraged   

使暴怒( enrage的过去式和过去分词 )； 歜； 激愤

参考例句：

• I was enraged to find they had disobeyed my orders. 发现他们违抗了我的命令，我极为恼火。
• The judge was enraged and stroke the table for several times. 大法官被气得连连拍案。

18 rant   

v.咆哮；怒吼；n.大话；粗野的话

参考例句：

• You can rant and rave at the fine,but you'll still have to pay it.你闹也好，骂也好，罚金还是得交。
• If we rant on the net,the world is our audience.如果我们在网络上大声嚷嚷，全世界都是我们的听众。

19 fabulous   

adj.极好的；极为巨大的；寓言中的，传说中的

参考例句：

• We had a fabulous time at the party.我们在晚会上玩得很痛快。
• This is a fabulous sum of money.这是一笔巨款。

20 clenched   

v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He clenched his fists in anger. 他愤怒地攥紧了拳头。
• She clenched her hands in her lap to hide their trembling. 她攥紧双手放在腿上，以掩饰其颤抖。 来自《简明英汉词典》

21 humiliation   

n.羞辱

参考例句：

• He suffered the humiliation of being forced to ask for his cards.他蒙受了被迫要求辞职的羞辱。
• He will wish to revenge his humiliation in last Season's Final.他会为在上个季度的决赛中所受的耻辱而报复的。

22 dime   

n.（指美国、加拿大的钱币）一角

参考例句：

• A dime is a tenth of a dollar.一角银币是十分之一美元。
• The liberty torch is on the back of the dime.自由火炬在一角硬币的反面。

23 muster   

v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册

参考例句：

• Go and muster all the men you can find.去集合所有你能找到的人。
• I had to muster my courage up to ask him that question.我必须鼓起勇气向他问那个问题。

24 descended   

a.为...后裔的，出身于...的

参考例句：

• A mood of melancholy descended on us. 一种悲伤的情绪袭上我们的心头。
• The path descended the hill in a series of zigzags. 小路呈连续的之字形顺着山坡蜿蜒而下。

25 festive   

adj.欢宴的，节日的

参考例句：

• It was Christmas and everyone was in festive mood.当时是圣诞节，每个人都沉浸在节日的欢乐中。
• We all wore festive costumes to the ball.我们都穿着节日的盛装前去参加舞会。

26 craftsman   

n.技工，精于一门工艺的匠人

参考例句：

• A cabinet maker must be a master craftsman.家具木工必须是技艺高超的手艺人。
• The craftsman is working up the mass of clay into a toy figure.艺人把一团泥捏成玩具形状。

27 exquisitely   

adv.精致地；强烈地；剧烈地；异常地

参考例句：

• He found her exquisitely beautiful. 他觉得她异常美丽。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He wore an exquisitely tailored gray silk and accessories to match. 他穿的是做工非常考究的灰色绸缎衣服，还有各种配得很协调的装饰。 来自教父部分

28 misery   

n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦

参考例句：

• Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
• He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。

29 tornado   

n.飓风，龙卷风

参考例句：

• A tornado whirled into the town last week.龙卷风上周袭击了这座城市。
• The approaching tornado struck awe in our hearts.正在逼近的龙卷风使我们惊恐万分。

30 retrieved   

v.取回( retrieve的过去式和过去分词 )；恢复；寻回；检索（储存的信息）

参考例句：

• Yesterday I retrieved the bag I left in the train. 昨天我取回了遗留在火车上的包。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He reached over and retrieved his jacket from the back seat. 他伸手从后座上取回了自己的夹克。 来自辞典例句