One year, for Christmas, I took a whole chosen family of close friends to Aspen.
Unbeknownst to me, the real- estate agent who handled my Aspen rental1 had gottentogether with a coworker to set me up on a blind date. It was a simple scheme: they toldthe mystery man that I really wanted to meet him, and they told me that he wanted to meetme. He turned out to be international megastar Luis Miguel, the “Latin Elvis.”
Our first date was at a restaurant, and it was hardly a date, for me. I was like, Who isthis guy? He was drinking a lot, and his hair was blown out and all over the place. But asmall part of me was intrigued2. He had an undeniable passionate3 flair5; I could see thepotential for adventure in him. Though he needed to smooth the hair down first. (I did thatfor him and Tommy, by the way — smooth the hair down, figure it out; you know,Hairdressing 101. Five hundred hours!)
After we had both had a few drinks and an awkward dinner, I still couldn’t get rid ofhim. I went to my nephew Shawn’s room and told him, “Shawn, you got to come help mefigure this out.” I had just met this guy, and he was drunk off his ass4! I was thinking tomyself, We’re not going anywhere with this; it’s not going to work. So Shawn made up anexcuse for me and got me out.
The very next day Luis’s assistant showed up to my door with a spectacular Bulgaridiamond necklace (diamonds aren’t my best friend, but we’re close). I was surprised—andyes, impressed—but in the back of my mind I was also thinking, What, does he just keep abunch of diamond necklaces nearby in case he meets a girl? I know they have jewelrystores in Aspen, but I also knew to be cautious: he’d dated Daisy Fuentes, Salma Hayek—all of these incredibly beautiful and famous Latin women. I soon learned that was his way;he was an authentic6, over-the-top Latin lover, for real.
Luis was exciting and extravagant7. We were both Aries, and we vibed energetically.
He was incredibly romantic and spontaneous. We would go on adventures: ditch securityand go for a ride, or pick up and go to Mexico City. He had a phenomenal house on apiece of pristine8 Acapulco beach, with real pink flamingos9! His mansion10 was majestic,with dramatic carved wooden doors and porches and balconies everywhere. He wouldoften have a full mariachi band serenading us while we had dinner outside on a warmMexican evening. One of my favorite things to do was jump off the master-bedroombalcony with my beloved dog, Jack11, into the sparkling pool below. (Me and Jack were theonly ones who didn’t speak Spanish, which wasn’t always easy.) His staff was so devotedto him; he was like a god to them. Luis was beloved and cherished by all his people.
One time I teased him for not having a hot tub (I got a pip penthouse with a sick hottub / We can watch the flat screen while the bubbles filling up). So what did he do? Hesurprised me for Christmas with an entire planetarium-style hot tub that you can swiminto! We threw a fabulous12 New Year’s Eve party there, going from 1999 to 2000, with thehot tub grotto13 as a main attraction. Luis didn’t hold back in his material displays ofadoration. Once, he filled an entire private jet with red roses to surprise me. His dramaticromantic gestures spoke14 to the eternally twelve girl in me, because they really were likesomething you saw in the movies.
It was all grand and exciting, but it was far from perfect. For one thing, ourrelationship was characterized by culture clash. Though we were both young andsuccessful, he was a lot stodgier15 than me. Our friends were total opposites. His were moreconservative, serious and uptight16 and boring, while I’d have Brat17, Tots, Trey, and whoeverpopping all around. What was more difficult were the cultural gaps between us when itcame to race. He would always insist that he didn’t see me as Black. We’d have thesearguments, and I’d explain, “No, when your dad is Black, it makes you Black, so you’regoing to have to accept that about me.” But in his mind, if I didn’t look Black, I wasn’t.
For him it was simply skin deep. It was too difficult to explain that for Americans, it’smuch more complicated. I think for him, easier was better.
Though we made an effervescent couple, it’s always hard to live and love in thelimelight. He may have been the Elvis of the Spanish-speaking world, but when he cameto the United States, no offense18, but for the most part I was the “star of the show.” He’dbeen through a lot and lost his mother at a very young age. From what I’d been told, hisfather was very difficult and controlling. I tried my best to support him emotionally, but Iwas going through my own shit, and it got to a point where I could no longer deal with it.
We were not helping19 each other heal. At his best Luis was generous, spontaneous, andpassionate, but at his worst he was erratic20 and anxious, and had a dark cloud hanging overhis head.
After three years, I knew it was time for us to part ways. We had a good run, and I stillhave fond memories, but ultimately, he wasn’t the one.
As the great Cole Porter wrote, “It was great fun / but it was just one of those things.”
Okay, so it’s five am, and I still can’t sleepTook some medicine, but it’s not working
Someone’s clinging to me, and it’s bittersweet’Cause he’s head over heels, but it ain’t that deep—“Crybaby”
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1
rental
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| n.租赁，出租，出租业 | |
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intrigued
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| adj.好奇的，被迷住了的v.搞阴谋诡计(intrigue的过去式)；激起…的兴趣或好奇心；“intrigue”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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3
passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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flair
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| n.天赋，本领，才华；洞察力 | |
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authentic
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| a.真的，真正的；可靠的，可信的，有根据的 | |
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extravagant
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| adj.奢侈的；过分的；(言行等)放肆的 | |
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pristine
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| adj.原来的，古时的，原始的，纯净的，无垢的 | |
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flamingos
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| n.红鹳，火烈鸟（羽毛粉红、长颈的大涉禽）( flamingo的名词复数 ) | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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fabulous
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| adj.极好的；极为巨大的；寓言中的，传说中的 | |
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grotto
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| n.洞穴 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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15
stodgier
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| adj.（食物）吃下去感觉撑的( stodgy的比较级 )；易饱的；滞涩的；古板的 | |
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uptight
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| adj.焦虑不安的，紧张的 | |
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brat
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| n.孩子；顽童 | |
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18
offense
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| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
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helping
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| n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的 | |
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erratic
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| adj.古怪的，反复无常的，不稳定的 | |
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