Julia often happened to walk out before breakfast. Sometimes Frances was with her, and sometimes not; but Edmund always happened to join her.
One morning the three were walking together; the sisters, with their usual friendly familiarity, leaning each on an arm of our hero, whom they always treated as a brother; when Frances began, in a laughing manner, to ask him how soon his marriage with Lady[40] Susan was to take place. Edmund tried to smile, but sighed very heavily.
“No! so it is really serious!” cried Frances. Julia too, commenced a sort of sigh, but, as soon as she was aware that she had done so, she closed her lips, that the breath might descend1 without sound. Edmund, on whom, as we have just observed, she was leaning, felt the slight movement, and was strangely gratified; not that he presumed to assign any cause to the sigh.
“You know, Frances,” he said, in reply to the question about Lady Susan, “that business is completely a jest! I wonder, by the bye, her ladyship is not offended at being made the subject of a jest. But, were it otherwise,” he continued, with solemnity, “were she indeed the object of an overwhelming passion—were she indeed the being whose looks,[41] whose words, whose smile gave value to each moment of existence—were she in short the object of a first love, which you know they say cannot be torn up without carrying with it the very fibres of the heart itself, and leaving it incapable2 of future energy; (I do not say that I should attempt to eradicate3 the sentiment, no, I should cherish its very miseries4 as preferable far to the barren waste, the joyless void of a heart weaned from love;) but such feelings, whatever it might cost me to suppress them, should never be permitted to pass my lips, while mystery hung over my birth.”
“But may you not be loved for your own sake, Edmund, whoever you are?” said Frances, “and for the sake of the high character you have established for yourself, as Mr. Jackson says? I am sure I could not love you better, nor grandmamma, nor Julia, nor Mr. Jackson,[42] if you turned out to be the eldest5 son of his Majesty6, and rightful heir to the throne of Great Britain!”
Edmund looked round involuntarily towards Julia, but her eyes were on the ground.
“I hope, Frances,” he said, in a mournful tone, “that I shall always possess the kind regard of the friends you have named. This hope, indeed, is and ever must be the only solace7 of my isolated8, and, in all other respects, hopeless existence!”
“Don’t speak that way, Edmund, you make me quite melancholy9!” said Frances, the tears starting into her eyes, as she held out her hand, which Edmund snatched and kissed.
“You hope!” said Julia, in a tremulous tone, in which was something of reproach. She looked up for a moment as she spoke10, and Edmund saw the glistening11 of tears in her eyes also.
[43]
“I am sure,” he said, “of every thing that is noble, every thing that is generous, every thing that is kind.”—“That last word, Edmund,” said Julia, interrupting him, “is more like the language of the friend you ought to feel yourself among us.”
“Besides,” said Frances, continuing the former part of the subject, “grandmamma and Mr. Jackson, you know, think it quite certain that you are the son of a noble family.”
“Still, all is mystery!” he replied, mournfully, as his thoughts reverted12 to the disgraceful possibility which had of late haunted his imagination, that of his being yet proved the child of criminal, though, perhaps of titled parents. “In short,” he continued, “a being, such as I am, must drag out existence, a solitary13 wanderer, unconnected with any,[44] but by the ties of charity, of compassion14.” After a pause, which neither of the sisters had voice to interrupt, he re-commenced—
“Duty, Frances, must soon again call me from the too happy dream I have lately enjoyed. Sometimes, indeed, in an hour of peace, I may, I shall, return to happy, happy Lodore, the dear paradise of my childhood; and from the generous friendship there granted me, derive15 gleams of felicity! snatches of a joy that will render the rest of life, perhaps, more dark.” He was silent a few seconds, then added, “Yet so precious will such moments ever be to me, that I shall hold them cheaply purchased by the dreary16 wretchedness that must precede and follow them!” Julia’s tears flowed silently. Frances’s too, were again starting into her eyes. “Nay, Edmund,” said the latter, “there is something more than usual[45] in the matter! this love, this First Love that you speak of so feelingly, I fear is a serious business after all! for you never were in love before, I suppose. But, indeed, you need not grieve so much; for I know—that is—at least—I have no right, perhaps, to betray such a trust—but still—I am perfectly17 certain that—that you will not be refused.”
“For heaven’s sake what are you talking of, Frances?” exclaimed Edmund, colouring excessively, while Julia turned deadly pale.
“I am saying,” replied Frances, “that I am sure, Lady Susan will not refuse you: she thinks you—so——”
“Lady Susan!” repeated Edmund, in a voice of disappointment. “She certainly never will, Frances,” he added, “for I shall never have the folly18, or the presumption19, to put it in her power to do so. You know I[46] have just explained to you that I can never marry—at least—But I may say never; for it would indeed be wildly romantic to hope that I ever shall be enabled, even to seek to do so, consistently with honour, and my own—wishes! the word is too inadequate20. And were I, by the most unlooked-for circumstances, placed at liberty—am I to—to have—the vanity to—But you are leading me on to speak too much of myself, Frances; which is always, you know, a dangerous, as well as an unbecoming topic.” He ceased, and all three walked on for a time in silence. At length Julia said, in a low tone—
“Why should it grieve you so much, Edmund, not to—to marry? I don’t think there is any occasion for every one to be married! Now, I—for one—never intend to marry.” Edmund started, and looked round.
[47]
“You, Julia!” he said. “Yes,” she continued, dropping her eyelids21, “I am very happy,” and here a sigh contradicted her assertion, “loving the friends I have loved all my life——” “All your long, long life!” ejaculated Edmund, with a smile and a sigh. “And I cannot imagine,” continued Julia, “beginning now to love a stranger; or suppose any thing so absurd as the possibility of setting up a new image in my heart, to be worshipped above all that have hitherto inhabited there! Oh no! that, indeed, can never be.”
“So,” interrupted Frances, laughing, “we are to understand that there is an old image set up there already! (a first love, I suppose, as Edmund calls it.) Is it then his lordship? or our amiable22 and interesting cousin? It would indeed be a charity to love him, for I am sure no one else does.”
[48]
“Oh! you know Frances, I—don’t mean—I mean, one’s own friends,” said Julia. “Now ask yourself: could you ever love a stranger, as you love those you have loved all your life? As you love me for instance?”
“A stranger,” said Frances, considering, “no, certainly, not while the stranger continued to be a stranger.”
“Well Henry, you know, is no stranger, so one of my guesses may be right, or perhaps you like Edmund better—I am sure I do.”
Edmund had remained perfectly silent; for a few seconds, he had actually been stunned23 by the extacy of an irresistible24 conviction that Julia was saying, as plainly as words could express it, that she loved him, and that she never would or could love any one else! But, on her appeal to Frances in reply to the interruption of the latter, his short lived transport[49] faded. “She alludes25 to the gentle ties of relationship,” said he to himself, “and having known no feeling but that of calm and gradually formed affection, she cannot even imagine any other.” A momentary26 pang27 indeed shot across his heart, as Frances alluded28 to Henry; for Julia might have loved him all her life, if she loved him at all; but he was not, as Frances observed, a character very likely to inspire love. Then her manner, the expression of her eyes, the tones of her voice; how different, when she addressed himself, from what they were when addressing her cousin! This was, however, a subject not to be too closely examined, though it served for the present to banish29 all painful thoughts respecting Henry.
“They talk, you know,” said Frances, “of love at first sight!” “Oh!” replied Julia, “such people must either have no real friends,[50] and therefore no real affections, or be, themselves, incapable of feeling a real attachment30!”
“What do you call a real attachment?” asked Frances. “Why, one founded on—on—having all one’s life known, that the—friend—one loves unites every quality that is noble and estimable, not only in one’s own opinion,” replied Julia, blushing deeper and deeper at each word, “but in that of those, whose judgment31 one respects, with all that is gentle, kind, and amiable towards oneself!” Edmund felt an almost irresistible desire to press her hand as she said this, nor could he be quite certain that he did not do so. “It was Mr. Jackson,” she added, in a hurried manner, “that was explaining the subject the other day. He said, you know, Frances, that it was because we are formed to find perfect happiness hereafter in loving absolute perfection, that we[51] experience so much delight in attaching ourselves, in this life, to what, on earth, comes nearest to perfection! And what can we know of the perfections of a stranger?”
“Why, not till we discover them,” replied Frances, “but then, should they prove greater than those of our older acquaintances, by your own argument of loving best what comes nearest to perfection, the stranger must deserve and obtain our preference.”
“Oh! impossible!” exclaimed Julia.
“What is impossible?” asked Frances. Julia made no answer, and Frances, after a moment or two of silence, enquired32 of Edmund, if the Lancer whom they had observed driving his curricle round the lake yesterday evening, were the same they had seen at the Regatta. Edmund looked in her face without[52] meaning or reply. His thoughts had been too differently employed to be so easily brought to bear on the identity of a Lancer. “You see,” said Frances, “he is thinking of his First Love. We ought not to tease him with questions on less interesting subjects. I have been considering about it, Edmund,” she continued, “and I cannot see what harm it would be for you to be married to Lady Susan, when it would make you both happy.”
“Lady Susan!” repeated Edmund, “I am not thinking about Lady Susan, I assure you, Frances!”
“Indeed!” said a soft voice from behind, followed by immoderate laughter from several persons. Our trio looked round, and beheld34 Lady Susan herself, accompanied by Lord Borrowdale, Lord Morven, and Henry. “We[53] have caught the gallant35 Captain speaking of your Ladyship at least,” observed Lord Borrowdale.
“Which, in my opinion, argues thinking,” added Henry.
Edmund, not knowing well how to get out of the scrape, joined the laugh, and said, he believed he must plead guilty—of what, he left it to the imagination of his accusers to determine.
Lady Susan seemed to think it was of being in love, and that with herself; for she smiled, addressed our hero frequently, and was particularly obliging to him all the morning. Lord Morven, who did not seem much to relish36 the scene, asked, without addressing any one in particular, who that dashing fellow was who drove along the margin37 of the lake yesterday evening as they were boating. “The same,”[54] answered Lord Borrowdale, “who made himself so conspicuous38 during the regatta, splashing through the crowd in his curricle.”
“I am aware of that,” rejoined Lord Morven, “but I mean to enquire33 if any one knows who the young man is?”
“That no one I believe can make out. The name is Beaumont; but he has not brought any introductions, and has, I understand, declined the acquaintance of some persons who, taking it for granted that he was of the noble family of that name, wished to call on him.”
“He is not then, it would seem, very consistent,” said Henry, “for he literally39 scraped an acquaintance the other day with such a fellow as Lawson, (my aunt’s man of business,) for the express purpose of asking to be introduced at Lodore House.”
“He shows his good taste,” said Lord Borrowdale,[55] with an appropriate glance towards the group of ladies.
“He appears,” observed Lord Morven, “to have a tolerable taste in most things: his horses are beautiful animals, and his dogs the finest I have seen!”
“Is he not rather pleasing-looking himself too?” asked Frances; “I thought so, as well as one could see passing. Did not you think so, Lady Susan?”
“Indeed I did not look at him,” replied her ladyship, glancing at Edmund. “So,” said Henry, with a sneer40, “the fellow drives about to some purpose it would seem.” “To a most enviable one, certainly!” remarked the compliment-loving Lord of Borrowdale.
“Pray, can any one tell what brought him into this neighbourhood?” asked Lord Morven. “They were obliged,” answered Lord[56] Borrowdale, “to send from Whitehaven to Carlisle for military, to quell41 a very serious riot of colliers, headed too, it seems, by one of the fair sex, who, I understand, leads her party in fashion of an equestrian42 amazon, and who had, they say, proceeded in triumph through every street in Whitehaven, terrified the poor quiet magistrates43, overturned the carts of potatoes going down to the shipping44 for exportation, and, in short, lorded it over the whole population till the arrival of the dragoons.”
“How very well he plays the flute45!” said Frances.
“Yes,” said Henry, “and what good care he took to keep his boat within hearing of our party, these several evenings on the lake.”
“I dare say it was quite by accident,” rejoined Frances; “and how picturesque46 the[57] effect was,” she continued, turning to Lady Susan, “of the little skiff with its one white sail, appearing and disappearing round points of rock; the one reclining figure playing on the flute, the two dogs seated, one on each side, listening with profound attention, till at some dying cadence47, pointing their noses upward, they would utter a long and piteous wail48! while the rapt musician himself seemed unconscious not only of their wild accompaniment, and that of all the echoes far and near, but even of his own performance.”
“He thought himself a perfect hero of romance, I have no doubt,” replied her ladyship.
“Well!” cried Frances, “I do not think there was any appearance of affectation about him.”
“Whoever he is,” rejoined Henry, “he had better not wander about these woods in his[58] long feathers, or I shall be apt to shoot him in mistake for a pheasant.”
“Henry, you had better take care what you do!” said Frances. “You are much too fond, let me tell you, of killing49 of every kind.”
“Talking of shooting, what have you done with that fine setter of yours, St. Aubin?” asked Lord Morven.
“Shot him!”—“Why, for heaven’s sake?”
“The rascal50 leaped up on me with his dirty feet, after I was dressed for dinner, the other day.” “Shame! shame! Henry!” exclaimed both the sisters, at the same moment. “Too bad, faith,” cried the gentlemen.
Frances began to tell Henry that nobody would ever love him, he was so wicked. He affected51 to laugh, and whispered Julia as he passed, loud enough, however, for Edmund, who was on the other side, to hear. “What[59] do you say to that, Julia?” At the same time, accompanying his words with an insidious52 look of tender, confiding53 enquiry. She was astonished, but had not presence of mind to reply: and even Edmund, at the time, only thought Henry impertinent. The party had now arrived in front of the house.
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1
descend
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| vt./vi.传下来，下来，下降 | |
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incapable
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| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
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eradicate
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| v.根除，消灭，杜绝 | |
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miseries
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| n.痛苦( misery的名词复数 )；痛苦的事；穷困；常发牢骚的人 | |
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eldest
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| adj.最年长的，最年老的 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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solace
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| n.安慰；v.使快乐；vt.安慰(物)，缓和 | |
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isolated
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| adj.与世隔绝的 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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glistening
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| adj.闪耀的，反光的v.湿物闪耀，闪亮( glisten的现在分词 ) | |
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reverted
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| 恢复( revert的过去式和过去分词 )； 重提； 回到…上； 归还 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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derive
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| v.取得；导出；引申；来自；源自；出自 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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presumption
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| n.推测，可能性，冒昧，放肆，[法律]推定 | |
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inadequate
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| adj.(for,to)不充足的，不适当的 | |
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eyelids
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| n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 )；眼睛也不眨一下；不露声色；面不改色 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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stunned
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| adj. 震惊的，惊讶的 动词stun的过去式和过去分词 | |
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irresistible
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| adj.非常诱人的，无法拒绝的，无法抗拒的 | |
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alludes
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| 提及，暗指( allude的第三人称单数 ) | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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alluded
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| 提及，暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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banish
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| vt.放逐，驱逐；消除，排除 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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enquired
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| 打听( enquire的过去式和过去分词 )； 询问； 问问题； 查问 | |
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enquire
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| v.打听，询问；调查，查问 | |
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beheld
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| v.看，注视( behold的过去式和过去分词 )；瞧；看呀；（叙述中用于引出某人意外的出现）哎哟 | |
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gallant
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| adj.英勇的，豪侠的；(向女人)献殷勤的 | |
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relish
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| n.滋味，享受，爱好，调味品；vt.加调味料，享受，品味；vi.有滋味 | |
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margin
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| n.页边空白；差额；余地，余裕；边，边缘 | |
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conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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literally
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| adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实 | |
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sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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quell
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| v.压制，平息，减轻 | |
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equestrian
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| adj.骑马的；n.马术 | |
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43
magistrates
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| 地方法官，治安官( magistrate的名词复数 ) | |
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44
shipping
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| n.船运（发货，运输，乘船） | |
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45
flute
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| n.长笛；v.吹笛 | |
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46
picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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cadence
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| n.（说话声调的）抑扬顿挫 | |
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48
wail
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| vt./vi.大声哀号，恸哭；呼啸，尖啸 | |
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49
killing
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| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
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50
rascal
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| n.流氓；不诚实的人 | |
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51
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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52
insidious
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| adj.阴险的，隐匿的，暗中为害的，（疾病）不知不觉之间加剧 | |
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53
confiding
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| adj.相信人的，易于相信的v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的现在分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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