He chose a college patronized by his chief school friend Chapman and by other old Sunningtonians, and during his first year managed to experience little in Univer-sity life that was unfamiliar1. He belonged to an Old Boys' Club, and they played games together, tea'd and lunched together, kept up their provincialisms and slang, sat elbow to elbow in hall, and walked arm in arm about the streets. Now and then they got drunk and boasted mysteriously about women, but their outlook remained that of the upper fifth, and some of them kept it through life. There was no feud2 between them and the other undergraduates, but they were too compact to be popular, too mediocre3 to lead, and they did not care to risk knowing men who had come from other public schools. All this suited Maur-ice. He was constitutionally lazy. Though none of his difficul-ties had been solved, none were added, which is something. The hush4 continued. He was less troubled by carnal thoughts. He stood still in the darkness instead of groping about in it, as if this was the end for which body and soul had been so pain-fully prepared.
During his second year he underwent a change. He had moved into college and it began to digest him. His days he might spend as before, but when the gates closed on him at night a new process began. Even as a freshman5 he made the important discovery that grown-up men behave politely to one another unless there is a reason for the contrary. Some third-year people had called on him in his digs. He had expected
them to break his plates and insult the photograph of his mother, and when they did not he ceased planning how some day he should break theirs, thus saving time. And the manners of the dons were even more remarkable6. Maurice was only wait-ing for such an atmosphere himself to soften7. He did not enjoy being cruel and rude. It was against his nature. But it was neces-sary at school, or he might have gone under, and he had sup-posed it would have been even more necessary on the larger battlefield of the University.
Once inside college, his discoveries multiplied. People turned out to be alive. Hitherto he had supposed that theywere what hepretended to be—flat pieces of cardboard stamped with a conventional design—but as he strolled about the courts at night and saw through the windows some men singing and others arguing and others at their books, there came by no process of reason a conviction that they were human beings with feelings akin8 to his own. He had never lived frankly9 since Mr Abra-hams's school, and despite Dr Barry did not mean to begin; but he saw that while deceiving others he had been deceived, and mistaken them for the empty creatures he wanted them to think he was. No, they too had insides. "But, O Lord, not such an in-side as mine." As soon as he thought about other people as real, Maurice became modest and conscious of sin: in all creation there could be no one as vile10 as himself: no wonder he pre-tended to be a piece of cardboard; if known as he was, he would be hounded out of the world. God, being altogether too large an order, did not worry him: he could not conceive of any censure11 being more terrific than, say, Joey Fetherstonhaugh's, who kept in the rooms below, or of any Hell as bitter as Coventry.
Shortly after this discovery he went to lunch with Mr Corn-wallis, the Dean.
There were two other guests, Chapman and a B.A. from Trin-ity, a relative of the Dean's, by name Risley. Risley was dark,
tall and affected12. He made an exaggerated gesture when intro-duced, and when he spoke13, which was continually, he used strong yet unmanly superlatives. Chapman caught Maurice's eye and distended14 his nostrils15, inviting16 him to side against die newcomer. Maurice thought he would wait a bit first. His dis-inclination to give pain was increasing, and besides he was not sure that he loathed17 Risley, though no doubt he ought to, and in a minute should. So Chapman ventured alone. Finding Risley adored music, he began to run it down, saying, "I don't go in for being superior," and so on.
"I do!"
"Oh, do you! In that case I beg your pardon."
"Come along, Chapman, you are in need of food," called Mr Cornwallis, and promised himself some amusement at lunch.
" 'Spect Mr Risley isn't. I've put him off with my low talk."
They sat down, and Risley turned with a titter to Maurice and said, "I simplycant think of any reply to that"; in each of his sentences he accented one word violently. "It is so humili-ating. 'No' won't do. 'Yes' won't do. Whatis to be done?"
"What about saving nothing?" said the Dean.
"To say nothing? Horrible. You must be mad."
"Are you always talking, may one ask?" inquired Chapman.
Risley said he was.
"Never get tired of it?"
"Never."
"Ever tire other people?"
"Never."
"Odd that."
"Do not suggest I've tired you. Untrue, untrue, you're beam-ing."
"It's not at you if I am," said Chapman, who was hot-temp-ered.
Maurice and the Dean laughed.
"I come to a standstill again. How amazing are the difficulties of conversation."
"You seem to carry on better than most of us can," remarked Maurice. He had not spoken before, and his voice, which was low but very gruff, made Risley shiver.
"Naturally. It is my forte18. It is the only thing I care about, conversation."
"Is that serious?"
"Everything I say is serious." And somehow Maurice knew this was true. It had struck him at once that Risley was serious. "And are you serious?"
"Don't sk me."
"Then talk until you become so."
"Rubbish," growled19 the Dean.
Chapman laughed tempestuously20.
"Rubbish?" He questioned Maurice, who, when he grasped the point, was understood to reply that deeds are more impor-tant than words.
"What is the difference? Wordsare deeds. Do you mean to say that these five minutes in Cornwallis's rooms have done nothing for you? Will youever forget you have met me, for in-stance?"
"Rut he will not, nor will you. And then I am told we ought to be doing something."
The Dean came to the rescue of the two Sunningtonians. He said to his young cousin, "You're unsound about memory. You confuse what's important with what's impressive. No doubt Chapman and Hall always will remember they've met you—"
"And forget this is a cutlet. Quite so."
"Rut the cutlet does some good to them, and you none."
"Obscurantist!"
"This is just like a book," said Chapman. "Eh, Hall?"
"I mean," said Risley, "oh how clearly I mean that the cutlet influences your subconscious22 lives, and I your conscious, and so I am not only more impressive than the cutlet but more impor-tant. Your Dean here, who dwells in Medieval Darkness and wishes you to do the same, pretends that only the subconscious, only the part of you that can be touched without your knowl-edge is important, and daily he drops soporific—"
"Oh, shut up," said the Dean.
"But I am a child of light—"
"Oh, shut up." And he turned the conversation on to normal lines. Risley was not egotistic, though he always talked about himself. He did not interrupt. Nor did he feign23 indifference24. Gambolling25 like a dolphin, he accompanied them whitherso-ever they went, without hindering their course. He was at play, but seriously. It was as important to him to go to and fro as to them to go forward, and he loved keeping near them. A few months earlier Maurice would have agreed with Chapman, but now he was sure the man had an inside, and he wondered whether he should see more of him. He was pleased when, after lunch was over, Risley waited for him at the bottom of the stairs and said, "You didn't see. My cousin wasn't being human."
"He's good enough for us; that's all I know," exploded Chap-man. "He's absolutely delightful26."
"Exactly. Eunuchs are." And he was gone.
"Well, I'm—" exclaimed the other, but with British self-con-trol suppressed the verb. He was deeply shocked. He didn't mind hot stuff in moderation, he told Maurice, but this was too much, it was bad form, ungentlemanly, the fellow could not have been through a public school. Maurice agreed. You could call your cousin a shit if you liked, but not a eunuch. Rotten style! All the same he was amused, and whenever he was hauled in in the future, mischievous27 and incongruous thoughts would occur to him about the Dean.
他选择的是挚友查普曼以及萨宁顿的其他老同学所光顾的那家学院。在第一年的陌生的大学生活期间，他几乎没有新体验。他属于老校友俱乐部，他们一起参加体育运动，一起喝茶进餐，满嘴土腔俚语，在大餐厅里紧挨着坐，挎着胳膊逛大街。他们不时地喝醉，关于女人，神秘兮兮地大吹大擂，然而他们的精神面貌仍像是公学的高班学生，有些人一辈子也改不掉。他们和其他同学之间素无怨仇，但他们紧紧地抱作一团，所以不受欢迎；他们又太平庸，当不了学生领袖；他们也无意冒险去结识来自其他公学的学生。这一切使莫瑞斯满意。他生性懒惰，尽管他的苦恼没有解决，却也没添新的。沉寂继续下去，肉欲的思想活动不再那么困扰他了。他静静地伫立在黑暗中，而不是用手到处摸索，好像这就是肉体与灵魂那么痛苦地做准备所要得到的结果。
第二年，他发生了变化。他搬进学院，那里的生活浸透了他。白天他过得跟以前一样，然而夜幕降临后，新生活就开始了。在一年级时，他就有了个重大发现。成年人彬彬有礼地交往，除非有特别的原因不能这么做。几个三年级的学生曾到单身宿舍来看望他。他以为他们准会打碎他的盘子，朝着他母亲的照片横加侮辱，结果不然。于是他也不用浪费时间去计划有一天怎样砸他们的盘子了。导师们温文尔雅，更是惊人。莫瑞斯本人正盼望着这种气氛，以便变得温和。他不喜欢蛮横粗鲁，那是与他的天性相悖的。然而，在公学时期，他非这样做不可，否则他就会被人踩在脚下。他曾经猜测，在大学这更辽阔的战场上，就更需要这样做了。
一旦在学院里生活，他的发现层出不穷。人们原来是活生生的，他一直以为他们乃是一片片印有普普通通图案的硬纸板，而他本人则是假装的。但是，当他夜间在院子里溜达的时候，隔着窗户看见有些学生在唱歌，另外一些正在争论，还有埋头读书的。不容置疑，他们是具有跟他同样的感情的人。离开亚伯拉罕先生的学校后，他再也不曾坦荡荡地做过人。尽管巴里大夫对他进行过那番说教，他却无意洗心革面。然而他明白了，在欺骗旁人的时候，他自己也被欺骗了。他曾希望旁人认为他是个空空洞洞的人，并错误地以为旁人也是那样的人。不，他们很有些内容。“然而，天哪，但愿不是我这样的内容。”莫瑞斯自从认为旁人是活生生的人以来，就变得谦虚了，并且开始意识到自己是有罪的。天地万物中，再也没有比他更坏的人了。难怪他要假装成一片硬纸板了。倘若他的原形毕露，他就会被驱逐出这个世界。神的存在太伟大了，不会使他感到忧虑。可以这么说，他难以想象还有比来自楼下套房里的乔伊-费瑟斯顿豪的谴责更可怕的惩罚，或是像考文垂（译注：1670年12月，英国政治家约翰·考文垂爵士（?-1682）暗讽国王查理二世对舞台的兴趣只在女演员身上，结果在路上遗到伏击，被几个近卫军官撕裂了鼻子。次年，国会通过考文垂法案：凡是殴斗而造成人体残废者应治重罪。这里指众怒难犯。）的酷刑那样悲惨的地狱。
发现此事后不久，他应邀去跟学监康沃利斯先生共进午餐。
另外还有两位客人。一个是查普曼，另一个是三一学院的硕士，名叫里斯利，是学监的亲戚。里斯利的头发乌黑，身材高大，矫揉造作。被介绍的时候，他做出夸张的姿态，说起话来（他滔滔不绝地说话）嗲声嗲气，满嘴最高级形容词。查普曼对莫瑞斯以目示意，张大鼻孔，邀他与自己携手将这陌生人教训一顿。莫瑞斯认为得先等一会儿，不愿意伤害别人的心情越来越强烈了，况且他拿不准自己是否厌恶里斯利。毫无疑问，他应该厌恶里斯利，一会儿工夫就会那样的。于是，查普曼单独向里斯利挑战了。他发觉里斯利热爱音乐，就开始予以贬低．说“我讨厌那种高雅的人”，等等。
“我喜欢！”
“哦，你喜欢！既然是这样，请原谅。”
“来吧，查普曼，你该吃点儿东西。”康沃利斯先生大声说，他心中断定这顿午饭会有些乐趣。
“我猜想里斯利先生不饿，我那些粗野的话使他倒了胃口。”
他们坐下后，里斯利窃笑着转向莫瑞斯说：“我简直不知道该怎样回答。”每说一句话，他就在某个字上加重语气。“这是奇耻大辱。说‘不’，不行；说‘是’，也不行，究竟该怎么办？”
“不说话好不好呢？”学监说。
“不说话？太恐怖了，你一定是疯了。”
“请问，你是不是总在说话？”查普曼问。
里斯利说：“是的。”
“永远也不厌烦吗？”
“永远也不。”
“没让旁人烦过吗？”
“从来也没有。”
“不可思议。”
“你该不是在暗示我让你讨厌了吧。这不是真的，不是真的，你简直是眉飞色舞。”
“倘若我眉飞色舞的话可不是由于你的缘故。”查普曼说，他性情暴躁。
莫瑞斯和学监笑了。
“我又被弄得哑口无言了。如此困难的谈话令我吃惊。”
“你好像比我们中的大多数人都谈得好。”莫瑞斯发表了意见。在这之前他一直没有说话，他粗哑低沉的嗓音使里斯利颤抖。
“当然，这是我的特长。我惟一看重的事情就是谈话。”
“此话当真？”
“我说的都是真心话。”莫瑞斯认为确实是这样，里斯利给他的印象是严肃的。莫瑞斯问他：“你是认真的吗？”
“别问我。”
“那么，就聊到你变得严肃为止。”
“废话！”学监咆哮如雷。
查普曼狂笑起来。
“你认为这是废话吗？”里斯利询问莫瑞斯。莫瑞斯得到要领后，认为行动比语言重要。
“两者有什么区别？语言就是行动。你的意思是说，在康沃利斯先生的屋子里待了五分钟，你没受什么影响吗？例如，你会忘记自己曾经遇见过我吗？”
查普曼哼了一声。
“他不会忘记的，你也不会。可我还得听你的说教，告诉我们该做什么！”
学监插嘴解救那两个萨宁顿毕业生。他对自己这位年轻的表弟说：“你对记忆的理解是不对的，你把重要的东西和令人难忘的东西混淆起来了。毫无疑问，查普曼和霍尔会念念不忘他们遇见过你——”
“却把吃炸肉排的事遗忘了，的确如此。”
“但是炸肉排对他们有些好处，对你一点儿好处也没有。”
“蒙昧主义者！”
“简直像是书本里的话。”查普曼说。“呃，霍尔？”
“我的意思是，”里斯利说，“哦，我的意思很清楚，炸肉排对你们的潜意识的生命产生影响，我这个人对你们的意识发生作用，所以我不仅比炸肉排令人难忘，也比它更重要。这位在座的你们的学监，生活在中世纪的黑暗里，他但愿你们也像他这么做，他假装只有下意识，只有你们的知识所涉及不到的那个部分才是重要的。他自己每天施催眠术——”
“喂，住嘴。”学监说。
“然而我是光明之子——”
“喂，住嘴。”于是他把话题转到正常的方向。尽管里斯利总是谈自己，他却不是个自我中心的人。他没有打断旁人的谈话，更不曾装出一副漠不关心的样子。他像一头海豚那样嬉戏着，不论他们聊到哪儿，他都奉陪，决不妨碍他们的进程。他在做游戏，然而是认真地做游戏。对他们来说，重要的是径直往前走，他却情愿来回走，他喜欢自始至终挨近他们。倘若是几个月之前，莫瑞斯的想法就会跟查普曼一致，然而如今他确信这个人有内容，琢磨着是不是该进一步认识他。吃罢午饭，里斯利在楼梯脚等候他，这使他感到高兴。
里斯利说：“你没看出来，我那位表哥不是个男子汉。”
“对我们来说，他是个好样儿的。”查普曼大发雷霆，“他非常讨人欢喜。”
“千真万确。阉人全都是这样的。”说罢，他扬长而去。
“啊，畜——”查普曼吼道，然而英国人的自我克制使他把下面的话咽回去了。他震惊不已。他告诉莫瑞斯，适度的脏话他并不介意，然而里斯利太过分了。这是卑鄙的，缺乏绅士风度，这小子不会是公学培养出来的。莫瑞斯的意见与他相同。如果愿意的话，可以骂你的表哥“混蛋”，可不能骂“阉人”。卑劣到极点！尽管如此，他被逗乐了。从那以后，每逢他被叫到学监室去挨申诉，有关学监的一些荒唐可笑、前后矛盾的想法就会浮现在他的脑海里。
收听单词发音 |
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unfamiliar
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| adj.陌生的，不熟悉的 | |
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feud
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| n.长期不和；世仇；v.长期争斗；世代结仇 | |
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mediocre
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| adj.平常的，普通的 | |
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hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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freshman
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| n.大学一年级学生(可兼指男女) | |
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remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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soften
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| v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和 | |
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akin
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| adj.同族的，类似的 | |
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frankly
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| adv.坦白地，直率地；坦率地说 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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censure
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| v./n.责备；非难；责难 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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distended
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| v.（使）膨胀，肿胀( distend的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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nostrils
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| 鼻孔( nostril的名词复数 ) | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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loathed
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| v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢 | |
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forte
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| n.长处，擅长；adj.(音乐)强音的 | |
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growled
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| v.（动物）发狺狺声， （雷）作隆隆声( growl的过去式和过去分词 )；低声咆哮着说 | |
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tempestuously
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| adv.剧烈地，暴风雨似地 | |
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grunted
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| （猪等）作呼噜声( grunt的过去式和过去分词 )； （指人）发出类似的哼声； 咕哝着说 | |
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subconscious
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| n./adj.潜意识(的)，下意识(的) | |
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feign
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| vt.假装，佯作 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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gambolling
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| v.蹦跳，跳跃，嬉戏( gambol的现在分词 ) | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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