Clive did not wire, nor start at once. Though desir-ous to be kind and training himself to think reason-ably of Maurice, he refused to obey orders as of old. He returned to England at his leisure. He did wire from Folkestone to Mau-rice's office, and expected to be met at Charing1 Cross, and when he was not he took a train on to the suburbs, in order to explain as quickly as possible. His attitude was sympathetic and calm.
It was an October evening; the falling leaves, the mist, the hoot2 of an owl3, filled him with pleasing melancholy4. Greece had been clear but dead. He liked the atmosphere of the North, whose gospel is not truth, but compromise. He and his friend would arrange something that should include women. Sadder and older, but without a crisis, they would slip into a relation, as evening into night. He liked the night also. It had gracious-ness and repose5. It was not absolutely dark. Just as he was about to lose his way up from the station, he saw another street lamp, and then past that another. There were chains in every direction, one of which he followed to his goal.
Kitty heard his voice, and came from the drawing-room to welcome him. He had always cared for Kitty least of the family —she was not a true woman, as he called it now—and she brought the news that Maurice was away for the night on busi-ness. "Mother and Ada are in church," she added. "They have had to walk because Maurice would take the car."
"Where has he gone?"
"Don't ask me. He leaves his address with the servants. We know even less about Maurice than when you were last here, if you think that possible. He has become a most mysterious per-son." She gave him tea, humming a tune6.
Her lack of sense and of charm produced a not unwelcome reaction in her brother's favour. She continued to complain of him in the cowed fashion that she had inherited from Mrs Hall.
"It's only five minutes to church," remarked Clive.
"Yes, they would have been in to receive you if he had let us know. He keeps everything so secret, and then laughs at girls."
"It was I who did not let him know."
"What's Greece like?"
He told her. She was as bored as her brother would have been, and had not his gift of listening beneath words. Clive remem-bered how often he had held forth7 to Maurice and felt at the end an access of intimacy8. There was a good deal to be saved out of the wreck9 of that passion. Maurice was big, and so sensible when once he understood.
Kitty proceeded, sketching11 her own affairs in a slightly clever way. She had asked to go to an Institute to acquire Domestic Economy, and her mother would have allowed her, but Mau-rice had put his foot down when he heard that the fees were three guineas a week. Kitty's grievances12 were mainly financial: she wanted an allowance. Ada had one. Ada, as heiress-apparent, had to "learn the value of money. But I am not to learn any-thing." Clive decided13 that he would tell his friend to treat the girl better; once before he had interfered14, and Maurice, charm-ing to the core, had made him feel he could say anything.
A deep voice interrupted them; the churchgoers were back. Ada came in, dressed in a jersey15, tam o'shanter, and gray skirt; the autumn mist had left a delicate bloom upon her hair. Her
cheeks were rosy16, her eyes bright; she greeted him with obvious pleasure, and though her exclamations17 were the same as Kitty's they produced a different effect. "Why didn't you let us know?" she cried. "There will be nothing but the pie. We would have given you a real English dinner."
He said he must return to town in a few minutes but Mrs Hall insisted he should sleep. He was glad to do this. The house now filled with tender memories, especially when Ada spoke18. He had forgotten she was so different from Kitty.
"I thought you were Maurice," he said to her. "Your voices are wonderfully alike."
"It's because I have a cold," she said, laughing.
"No, they are alike," said Mrs Hall. "Ada has Maurice's voice, his nose, by which of course I mean the mouth too, and his good spirits and good health. Three things, I often think of it. Kitty on the other hand has his brain."
All laughed. The three women were evidently fond of one another. Clive saw relations that he had not guessed, for they were expanding in the absence of their man. Plants live by the sun, yet a few of them flower at night-fall, and the Halls re-minded him of the evening primroses19 that starred a deserted20 alley21 at Penge. When talking to her mother and sister, even Kitty had beauty, and he determined22 to rebuke23 Maurice about her; not unkindly, for Maurice was beautiful too, and bulked largely in this new vision.
The girls had been incited24 by Dr Barry to join an ambulance class, and after dinner Clive submitted his body to be bound. Ada tied up his scalp, Kitty his ankle, while Mrs Hall, happy and careless, repeated "Well, Mr Durham, this is a better illness than the last anyhow."
"Mrs Hall, I wish you would call me by my Christian25 name."
"Indeed I will. But Ada and Kitty—not you."
"I wish Ada and Kitty would too."
"Clive, then!" said Kitty.
"Kitty, then!"
"Clive."
"Ada—that's better." But he was blushing. "I hate formalities."
"So do I," came the chorus. "I care nothing for anyone's opin-ion—never did," and fixed26 him with candid27 eyes.
"Maurice on the other hand," from Mrs Hall, "is very partic-ular."
"Maurice is a rip really—Waow, you're hurting my head."
"Waow, waow," Ada imitated.
There was a ring at the telephone.
"He has had your wire from the office," announced Kitty. "He wants to know whether you're here."
"Say I am."
"He's coming back tonight, then. Now he wants to talk to you."
Clive took the receiver, but only a burr arrived. They had been disconnected. They could not ring Maurice up as they did not know where he was, and Clive felt relieved, for the approach of reality alarmed him. He was so happy being bandaged: his friend would arrive soon enough. Now Ada bent28 over him. He saw features that he knew, with a light behind that glorified29 them. He turned from the dark hair and eyes to the unshadowed mouth or to the curves of the body, and found in her the exact need of his transition. He had seen more seductive women, but none that promised such peace. She was the compromise be-tween memory and desire, she was the quiet evening that Greece had never known. No argument touched her, because she was tenderness, who reconciles present with past. He had not sup-posed there was such a creature except in Heaven, and he did not believe in Heaven. Now much had become possible sud-denly. He lay looking into her eyes, where some of his hope lay reflected. He knew that he might make her love him, and the
knowledge lit him with temperate30 fire. It was charming—he desired no more yet, and his only anxiety was lest Maurice should arrive, for a memory should remain a memory. Whenever the others ran out of the room to see whether that noise was the car, he kept her with him, and soon she understood that he wished this, and stopped without his command.
"If you knew what it is to be in England!" he said suddenly.
"Is Greece not nice?"
"Horrible."
She was distressed31 and Clive also sighed. Their eyes met.
"I'm so sorry, Clive."
"Oh, it's all over."
"What exactly was it—"
"Ada, it was this. While in Greece I had to reconstruct my life from the bottom. Not an easy task, but I think I've done it."
"We often talked of you. Maurice said you would like Greece."
"Maurice doesn't know—no one knows as much as you! I've told you more than anyone. Can you keep a secret?"
"Of course."
Clive was nonplussed32. The conversation had become impos-sible. But Ada never expected continuity. To be alone with Clive, whom she innocently admired, was enough. She told him how thankful she was he had returned. He agreed, with vehe-mence. "Especially to return here."
"Don't go!" he repeated, catching34 her hand.
"I must—Maurice—"
"Bother Maurice." He held her. There was a tumult35 in the hall. "Where's he gone?" his friend was roaring. "Where've you put him?"
"Ada, take me a walk tomorrow. See more of me. . . . That's settled."
Her brother burst in. Seeing the bandages, he thought there
i
had been an accident, then laughed at his mistake. "Come out of that, Clive. Why did you let them? I say, he looks well. You look well. Good man. Come and have a drink. I'll unpick you. No, girls, not you." Clive followed him, but, turning, had an im-perceptible nod from Ada.
Maurice looked like an immense animal in his fur coat. He slipped it off as soon as they were alone, and came up smiling. "So you don't love me?" he challenged.
"All that must be tomorrow," said Clive, averting36 his eyes.
"Quite so. Have a drink."
"Maurice, I don't want a row."
"I do."
He waved the glass aside. The storm must burst. "But you mustn't talk to me like this," he continued. "It increases my dif-ficulties."
"I want a row and I'll have it." He came in his oldest manner and thrust a hand into Clive's hair. "Sit down. Now why did you write me that letter?"
Clive did not reply. He was looking with growing dismay into the face he had once loved. The horror of masculinity had re-turned, and he wondered what would happen if Maurice tried to embrace him.
"Why? Eh? Now you're fit again, tell me."
"Go off my chair, and I will." Then he began one of the speeches he had prepared. It was scientific and impersonal37, as this would wound Maurice least. "I have become normal—like other men, I don't know how, any more than I know how I was born. It is outside reason, it is against my wish. Ask any ques-tions you like. I have come down here to answer them, for I couldn't go into details in my letter. But I wrote the letter be-cause it was true."
"True, you say?"
"Was and is the truth."
"You say that you care for women only, not men?"
"I care for men, in the real sense, Maurice, and always shall."
"All that presently."
He too was impersonal, but he had not got off the chair. His fingers remained on Clive's head, touching38 the bandages, his mood had changed from gaiety to quiet concern. He was neither angry nor afraid, he only wanted to heal, and Clive, in the midst of repulsion, realized what a triumph of love was ruining, and how feeble or how ironical39 must be the power that governs Man.
"Who made you change?"
He disliked the form of the question. "No one. It was a change in me merely physical." He began to relate his experiences.
"Evidently the nurse," said Maurice thoughtfully. "I wish you had told me before.... I knew something had gone wrong and thought of several things, but not this. One oughtn't to keep secrets, or they get worse. One ought to talk, talk, talk—pro-vided one has someone to talk to, as you and I have. If you'd have told me, you would have been right by now."
"Why?"
"Because I should have made you right."
"How?"
"You'll see," he said smiling.
"It's not the least good—I've changed."
"Can the leopard40 change his spots? Clive, you're in a muddle41. It's part of your general health. I'm not anxious now, because you're well otherwise, you even look happy, and the rest must follow. I see you were afraid to tell me, lest it gave me pain, but we've got past sparing each other. You ought to have told me. What else am I here for? You can't trust anyone else. You and I are outlaws42. All this"—he pointed43 to the middle-class comfort of the room—"would be taken from us if people knew."
He groaned44. "But I've changed, I've changed."
We can only interpret by our experiences. Maurice could understand muddle, not change. "You only think you've changed," he said, smiling. "I used to think I had when Miss OI-cott was here, but it all went when I returned to you."
"I know my own mind," said Clive, getting warm and freeing himself from the chair. "I was never like you."
"You are now. Do you remember how I pretended—``
"Of course I remember. Don't be childish."
"We love each other, and know it. Then what else—"
"Oh, for God's sake, Maurice, hold your tongue. If I love any-one it's Ada." He added, "I take her at random45 as an example."
But an example was the one thing Maurice could realize. "Ada?" he said, with a change of tone.
"Only to prove to you the sort of thing."
"You scarcely know Ada."
"Nor did I know my nurse or the other women I've mentioned. As I said before, it's no special person, only a tendency."
"Who was in when you arrived?"
"Kitty."
"But it's Ada, not Kitty."
"Yes, but I don't mean—Oh, don't be stupid!"
"What do you mean?"
"Anyhow, you understand, now," said Clive, trying to keep impersonal, and turning to the comforting words with which his discourse46 should have concluded. "I've changed. Now I want you to understand too that the change won't spoil anything in our friendship that is real. I like you enormously—more than any man I've ever met" (he did not feel this as he said it) "I most enormously respect and admire you. It's character, not pas-sion, that is the real bond."
"Did you say something to Ada just before I came in? Didn't you hear my car come up? Why did Kitty and my mother come
out and not you? You must have heard my noise. You knew I flung up my work for you. You never talked to me down the tele-phone. You didn't write or come back from Greece. How much did you see of her when you were here before?"
"Look here, old man, I can't be cross-questioned."
"You said you could."
"Not about your sister."
"Why not?"
"You must shut up, I say. Come back to what I was saying about character—the real tie between human beings. You can't build a house on the sand, and passion's sand. We want bed rock . . ."
"Ada!" he called, suddenly deliberate.
Clive shouted in horror. "What for?"
"Ada! Ada!"
He rushed at the door and locked it. "Maurice, it mustn't end like this—not a row," he implored47. But as Maurice approached he pulled out the key and clenched48 it, for chivalry49 had awoken at last. "You can't drag in a woman," he breathed; "I won't have it."
"Give that up."
"I mustn't. Don't make it worse. No—no."
Maurice bore down on him. He escaped: they dodged50 round the big chair, arguing for the key in whispers.
They touched with hostility51, then parted for ever, the key falling between them.
"Clive, did I hurt you?"
"No."
"My darling, I didn't mean to."
"I'm all right."
They looked at one another for a moment before beginning new lives. "What an ending," he sobbed52, "what an ending."
"I do rather love her," said Clive, very pale.
"What's going to happen?" said Maurice, sitting down and wiping his mouth. "Arrange . . . I'm done for."
Since Ada was in the passage Clive went out to her: to Woman was his first duty. Having appeased53 her with vague words, he returned to the smoking-room, but the door was now locked be-tween them. He heard Maurice turn out the electric light and sit down with a thud.
"Don't be an ass10 anyway," he called nervously54. There was no reply. Clive scarcely knew what to do. At any rate he could not stop in the house. Asserting a man's prerogative55, he announced that he must sleep in town after all, in which the women ac-quiesced. He left the darkness within for that without: the leaves fell as he went to the station, the owls56 hooted57, the mist enveloped58 him. It was so late that the lamps had been extinguished in the suburban59 roads, and total night without compromise weighed on him, as on his friend. He too suffered and exclaimed, "What an ending!" but he was promised a dawn. The love of women would rise as certainly as the sun, scorching60 up immaturity61 and ushering62 the full human day, and even in his pain he knew this. He would not marry Ada—she had been transitional—but some goddess of the new universe that had opened to him in London, someone utterly63 unlike Maurice Hall.
克莱夫没打电报，更没有立即动身。尽管满心想对莫瑞斯宽容一些，并且训练自己尽量抱一种合情合理的看法，克莱夫却再也不肯像过去那样听任莫瑞斯摆布了。他从容不迫地返回英国。他还是从福克斯通（译注：福克斯通是英格兰肯特郡城镇，通铁路后发展成为英吉利海峡的客运港和第一流的海滨胜地。）往莫瑞斯的公司发了一封电报，原以为莫瑞斯会到查灵克罗斯（译注：查灵克罗斯是大伦敦威斯特敏斯特市的一处地方，位于伦敦正中心）来迎接他。莫瑞斯没有来，他就乘火车前往郊区，以便及早解释一番。他的态度是既有同情心又很沉着。
那是十月份的一个傍晚。落叶纷飞，薄雾，猫头鹰的呜叫，使他心里充满了愉快的愁绪。希腊是清澈的，然而死气沉沉。他喜欢北方的气氛，此地的福音不在于真实，而在于妥协。他和他的朋友会做些安排，把女人容纳进来。犹如黄昏进入夜晚，他们也会随着年龄饱经忧患，安全顺利地形成一种关系。他也喜欢夜晚。它是仁慈宽厚、安详恬静的，四周并非漆黑一团。他从火车站走过来，快要迷路时，就看见了另一盏街灯，走过去后，又是下一盏。每一个方向，街灯都像链子似的绵延不绝，他沿着其中的一条踱到目的地。
吉蒂听见了他的声音，从客厅里出来迎接他。霍尔一家人当中，克莱夫一向最不喜欢吉蒂了。按克莱夫现在的措词来说就是：吉蒂不是个地地道道的女人。她告诉克莱夫一个消息，莫瑞斯今天晚上有工作，不回家了。“妈妈和艾达到教堂去了。”她补充说，“她们只好步行了，因为莫瑞斯是坐汽车出去的。”
“他到哪儿去啦？”
“别问我，他把地址留给仆人了。你想象得到吗？上次你在这儿的时候，我们对莫瑞斯了解得就不多，现在甚至更少了。他变成了一个最神秘的人。”她边哼着曲子，边给他沏了杯茶。吉蒂缺乏见识与魅力，对克莱夫来说正合适。他能够在不至于感到嫌恶的情况下，倾听她诉说莫瑞斯的事。她用从霍尔太太那儿继承来的黏糊糊的腔调继续抱怨他。
“只需要五分钟就能到教堂。”克莱夫说。
“是啊。假若他跟我们说一声儿，她们就会留在家里招待你的。他对一切都守口如瓶，反过来又笑话女孩子们。”
“是我没让他知道。”
“希腊怎么样？”
他告诉了她。她听得厌烦透了，换了她哥哥，也会这样的。况且她没有他那种能够听出言外之意的天赋。克莱夫想起来，当他对莫瑞斯大发议论之后，亲密的感情就油然而生。这种情况，不知凡几。那腔激情虽已化为废墟，却能抢救出好多东西。莫瑞斯是个卓越的人，一旦理解了什么，又如此明智。
吉蒂接着就耍点儿小聪明，概述起自己的事来。她曾提出人家政学校的要求，母亲已经答应了。然而莫瑞斯听说每周要交三畿尼（译注：畿尼是旧时英国金币，合1.05英镑。）学费，就斩钉截铁地说不行。吉蒂的牢骚主要是金钱方面的。她想要一笔私房钱，艾达就有一笔。艾达作为法定继承人，必须“学会金钱的价值，可是什么都不让我学”。克莱夫决定对自己的朋友说说，要待这个女孩儿好一点儿。过去他就干预过一次，莫瑞斯十分愉快地听取了他的意见，使他觉得他什么话都可以说。
他们被低沉的嗓音打断，那两个去教堂的人回来了。艾达进来了，身穿圆领紧身毛衣，头戴宽顶无檐圆帽，裙子是灰色的。秋雾在她的头发上留下了精巧的水珠。她的双颊红润，两眼炯炯有神。她向他致意时喜形于色，尽管她的惊叫与吉蒂如出一辙，却产生了不同的效果。“你为什么没预先通知我们呢？”她大喊道。“除了饼，什么都没有。我们本来可以准备一顿正式的英国大餐为你接风的。”
他说，几分钟之内他就得返回伦敦，然而霍尔太太一定要留他过夜。恭敬不如从命。这座房子眼下充满了温馨的回忆，尤其是艾达说话的时候。他忘记了她与吉蒂截然不同。
“我还只当你是莫瑞斯呢，”他对她说，“你们的嗓音出奇地相似。”
“因为我感冒了啊。”她笑着说。
“不，他们就是相像，”霍尔太太说，“艾达有莫瑞斯的嗓门。他的鼻子，我的意思当然是说还有他的嘴，以及他的好兴致和健康，我常常认为这三样都像。另一方面，吉蒂有莫瑞斯那样的头脑。”
大家都笑了，三个女子明显地相互喜爱。克莱夫目睹了以前不曾理会的母女关系。由于家长不在，她们变得更友善，更健谈。植物，靠太阳生长，然而有些植物是随着日暮开花的。霍尔家的女眷们使他联想到点缀着彭杰的一条荒芜小径的月见草（译注：月见草是柳叶菜科月见草属植物，草本，开美丽的黄花。广布北美，欧洲有引种。二年生，叶互生）。跟母亲姐姐聊天时，就连吉蒂也面目姣好。他拿定主意为了她的事谴责莫瑞斯几句，但是不能用苛刻的口气。因为莫瑞斯也美，在这崭新的幻象中，莫瑞斯成了个庞然大物。
巴里大夫曾鼓励两个姑娘去参加救护班的学习。饭后，克莱夫听凭她们往自己身上缠绷带。艾达包扎他的头部，吉蒂包扎的是脚踝。这时候，霍尔太太喜气洋洋，漫不经心，反复说：“喏，德拉姆先生，不管怎样，你这次的病比上次害的那场强一些。”
“霍尔太太，我希望您直呼我的教名。”
“好的，就这样吧。但是艾达和吉蒂，你们可不行。”
“我希望艾达和吉蒂也这么叫。”
“那么，克莱夫！”吉蒂说。
“那么，吉蒂！”
“克莱夫。”
“艾达——这么叫多好啊。”然而，他的脸颊羞红了。“我讨厌拘泥于形式。”
“我也是这样。”姑娘们异口同声地说。“我对任何人的看法都毫不在乎——一向如此。”边说边用率直的眼神盯着他。
“莫瑞斯可不然，”霍尔太太说，“他挑剔得很。”
“莫瑞斯这个人实在不足取——畦，你把我的头弄疼啦。”
“哇，畦。”艾达仿效他说。
电话铃响了。
“他在公司里收到了你的电报，”吉蒂大声报告，“他问你在不在这儿。”
“告诉他我在。”
“那么，今天晚上他就回来。现在他想跟你说话。”
克莱夫拿起听筒，然而只传来了嗡嗡声，电话挂断了。他们不知道莫瑞斯在哪儿，所以无法给他打过去。克莱夫松了一口气，因为现实的逼近使他感到惊慌，被缠上绷带给他带来了很大的快乐。他的朋友很快就到了。现在艾达朝他俯下身来，他瞅见了自己所熟悉的容貌，在后面的灯光映衬下平添了几分魅力。他将视线从她那深色头发和眼睛移向没有阴影的嘴巴和身体的曲线，并在她身上找到了转变感情的时候恰好需要的一切。他见过更性感的女人们，但没有一个女人向他许诺过这样的安宁。她是回忆与欲望达成的和解，她是希腊所从未知晓的恬静的傍晚。什么争论都跟她不沾边，因为她是和善的，把过去与现在调和起来。他从未料想过还有这样的人，除非是在天堂里，而他是不相信天堂的。突然，很多事都变得可能了。他躺在那儿，朝她的眼睛望着，他的几缕希望在里面有所反映。他知道能够使她爱上自己，这样一来他身上就点燃起文火。多么美好啊，于愿已足，他唯一焦虑的是莫瑞斯会回家来，因为回忆就应该终属回忆。每逢有什么响动，当别人跑出屋子去看是不是汽车到了的时候，他就把她留下来陪自己。她很快就明白了他的愿望，不等他发话就留在他身边了。
“你简直不知道待在英国有多么好！”他猛然说。
“难道希腊不可爱吗？”
“可怕。”
她感到忧伤，克莱夫也叹了口气。他们的目光相遇了。
“我觉得很难过，克莱夫。”
“哦，事情已经过去了。”
“确切地说，到底是……”
“艾达，是这么回事。在希腊逗留期间，我不得不彻头彻尾地重建自己的人生。谈何容易，可我认为我已经完成了。”
“我们经常谈论你。莫瑞斯说你会喜爱希腊的。”
“莫瑞斯还蒙在鼓里呢，谁知道的也没有你多！我对你比对任何人说的都多。你能守口如瓶吗？”
“当然喽。”
克莱夫不知所措了，这番谈话变得棘手了。然而艾达一点儿也没有期望继续说下去，能够跟她所天真地钦佩的克莱夫单独待在一起就足够了。她告诉他，他回来了，她甭提有多么高兴了。他热烈地表示同意，“尤其是回到这儿来”。
“汽车！”吉蒂尖声呼叫起来。
“别去！”克莱夫边抓住艾达的手，边重复了一遍。
“我必须去……莫瑞斯……”
“莫瑞斯嘛，管他呢。”他不肯松手。从门厅里传来了一片喧哗声。“他到哪儿去了？”他的朋友正在吼叫。“你们把他安顿在哪儿了？”
“艾达，明天和我去散步吧。多跟我见见面。……一言为定。”
她的哥哥冲进来了。他瞧见绷带，以为出了事故，知道自己弄错了以后又大笑起来。“快摘掉吧，克莱夫。你为什么听任她们摆布？我说，他气色蛮好。你看上去挺健康。老兄，过去喝一杯吧。我替你解下绷带，不，姑娘们，你们不行。”克莱犬跟着莫瑞斯走出去之际转过身来，只见艾达朝他几乎察觉不出地点了点头。
身穿毛皮大衣的莫瑞斯活像一头巨兽。离开旁人后，他立即脱下大衣，笑眯眯地踱过来。“那么，你不爱我了吗？”他提出疑问。
“这一切等明天再谈吧。”克莱夫边避开他的目光边说。
“知道了。来一杯。”
“莫瑞斯，我不愿意争吵。”
“我愿意。”
他摆摆手，不肯接递过来的那杯酒。这场风暴注定要爆发了。“可你不应该用这种口吻跟我说话，”他接着说，“这会使我越来越困难。”
“我就是要争吵，我非要争吵不可。”他按照最初那个时期的样子走过来，将一只手插进克莱夫的头发。“坐下来。哟，你为什么给我写那样一封信？”
克莱夫没有回答，他更加沮丧地望着这张自己一度爱过的脸。对男性的嫌恶重新浮上心头，他想知道，倘若莫瑞斯试图拥抱他，会发生什么事呢？
“为什么？啊？现在你已经康复了，告诉我。”
“你离开我的椅子，我就说。”于是他开始讲预先准备好的一席话。它是有条理的，不牵涉个人感情的，对莫瑞斯的伤害会最轻微。“我变得正常了——跟别人一样，我也不知道是怎样变的，正如我不知道自己是怎么出生的一样。这是不合乎情理的，我并不希望如此。你愿意问什么就问吧。我是为了回答你才到这儿来的。因为我在信里不可能详尽地写。然而我在信中写的是真实的。”
“你说是真实的？”
“当时是真实的，现在也是。”
“你说你只喜欢女人，而不是男人？”
“在真正的意义上，我对男人是喜欢的，莫瑞斯，今后也一直会喜欢。”
“一切都来得这么突然。”
他的态度也是冷漠的，但他没离开克莱夫的椅子。他的手指仍停留在克莱夫的头上，抚摩着绷带。他的情绪从快活变成宁静的关切。他既没生气，也不害怕，一心一意只想把朋友治好。克莱夫满腔厌恶，他领悟到，两个人所取得的爱的胜利行将崩溃，人心该有多脆弱，多么充满讽刺意味。
“是谁使你发生变化的？”
他讨厌这种讯问的方式。“谁都没让我变。这仅仅是生理上的变化。”他开始诉说自己的体验。
“显然是那个护士。”莫瑞斯若有所思地说，“你要是及早告诉我就好了。……我东想西想，然而没料到是这个。保密是不对的，弄得越来越糟。就应该说啊，说啊，说啊。只要有能够彼此倾吐衷曲的人就行。咱们两个完全是这样的。倘若你告诉了我，这会儿你早就没事了。”
“为什么呢？”
“因为我会使你恢复正常的。”
“怎样恢复？”
“你等着瞧吧。”他微笑着说。
“一点儿用处也没有——我已经变了。”
“难道豹子能够把身上的斑点变掉吗？克莱夫，你的头脑糊涂了，这跟你刚生过一场病也有关系。如今我不再担心了，因为其他方面你已经康复了。看上去你还很高兴，这个问题也会迎刃而解。我明白你是生怕我会感到痛苦，所以不敢告诉我。但是咱们两个人之间还用得着客气吗？你应该跟我说一声就好了。要不是为了你，我为什么待在这儿？其他任何人你都不信任。你和我是不法之徒。倘若世人知道了，这一切，”他边说边指着室内那些为中产阶级提供舒适生活的摆设，“全都会被没收。”
克莱夫烦闷地说：“然而我已经变了，我已经变了。”
我们只能凭借自己的体验来理解。莫瑞斯明白什么是糊涂，却不明白变了是怎么回事。“你只是认为自己变了而已。”他，笑吟吟地说。“当奥尔科特小姐在这儿的时候，我常常认为自个儿变了，然而我一回到你身边，那种感觉就统统消失了。”
“我了解自己的心境，”克莱夫边说边激动起来，起身离开了椅子。“我一向跟你不同。”
“现在一样了。你还记得吗？我曾经怎样假装……”
“我当然记得了，别这么孩子气。”
“咱们两个人相互爱着，自己也知道。那么，另外还有什么……”
“哦，看在上帝的分上，莫瑞斯，你给我住口！倘若我爱什么人的话，就是艾达。”他补充说，“我只是作为一个例子随便提到她的。”
然而，莫瑞斯倒是能够理解什么叫做例子。“艾达？”他说，连腔调都变了。
“仅仅是向你表明某一种感情。”
“你几乎不了解艾达啊。”
“我也不了解我那位护士，以及我提到过的其他一些女人。正如我刚才说过的，并不是特定的什么人，只是一种倾向而已。”
“你到这儿的时候，谁在家来着？”
“吉蒂。”
“然而你说的是艾达呀，不是吉蒂。”
“是啊。可我指的不是～哦，别这么笨头笨脑的！”
“你这话是什么意思？”
“不管怎样，我已经把自己的问题摊开来了。现在呢，”克莱夫竭力不牵涉个人感情地说，他求助于能够给予慰藉的词句，这番谈话是预定要这么结束的。“我变了。眼下我想让你也理解，尽管我变了，却丝毫不会损害咱们两个人之间的真实友情。我非常喜欢你——超过了我曾遇见的任何人（他是言不由衷的）。我非常尊敬并且赞美你，真正的纽带是品性，而不是情欲。”
“就在我进屋之前，你跟艾达说什么了吗？难道你没听见我的汽车开过来吗？为什么吉蒂和妈妈迎出来了，你们却没出来？你们应该听见了我的声音啊。你知道我为了你把工作都丢开了。你一次也没接我的电话，你既没写信给我，也没有马上从希腊返回。过去你到这儿来的时候，跟艾达见过多少次？”
“嘿，老弟，这么盘问我可不行。”
“你说过可以问。”
“关于你的妹妹，可不行。”
“为什么不行？”
“喂，我说呀，你必须住口。再回到我刚才谈起的品性的问题——它才是人与人之间的真正的纽带。你不能在沙子上建造起一座房子，而情欲就是沙子。我们需要坚实牢固的地基……”
“艾达！”他突然故意喊道。
克莱夫吓得大叫，“干什么？”
“艾达！艾达！”
克莱夫冲到门跟前，将它锁上了。“莫瑞斯，不应该这么结束——可别吵完架再分手。”他恳求道。然而，当莫瑞斯走过来时，他抽出钥匙，攥在手里，敬重女性的理念终于被唤醒了。“你不能连累女人，”他喃喃地说，“我决不允许。”
“把它交出来。”
“决不。别把事情弄得更糟，不行——不行。”
莫瑞斯立即冲到他身边。他撒腿就逃，二人围绕着那把大椅子你追我躲，唧唧喳喳地为了给不给钥匙而争辩着。
他们怀着敌意碰撞在一起，随后永远分离了，钥匙掉在两个人之间的地面上。
“克莱夫，我伤着你了吗？”
“没有。”
“亲爱的，我是无意的。”
“我不要紧。”
他们在开始新的人生之前，相互望了一眼对方的脸。“这叫什么结局呀，”他啜泣着，“这叫什么结局呀。”
“我确实相当喜欢她。”克莱夫说，脸色很苍白。
“将会发生什么事呢？”莫瑞斯说，他坐下来，擦着嘴。“你来安排吧……我已经精疲力竭了。”
艾达既然到走廊里来了，克莱夫便迎出去。目前他首要的义务就是保护女性。他含糊其辞安抚了她一番，欲返回吸烟室。然而门已被锁上，进不去了。他听见莫瑞斯熄了灯，“咕咚”一声坐到椅子上。
“不管怎样，别干傻事。”克莱夫焦虑不安地高声说。没有回答。克莱夫简直不知道如何是好，无论如何他也不能在这家过夜了。他开始行使男人的特权，宣布自己终究还是得回城里去睡，女人们表示同意。他撇下室内的黑暗，步入外界的黑暗。他向车站踱去时，落叶纷飞，猫头鹰呜叫，路被雾气笼罩着。夜色更深，郊外的街灯已熄灭了。没有妥协余地的完全的夜晚像对待他的朋友那样，压得他喘不过气来。他也遭受了痛苦，于是大声喊道：“这叫什么结局呀！”然而，他已被许诺将获得黎明。女人的爱会像旭日一样千真万确地升起，把不成熟处烧焦，引他进入成熟的日子。即使在苦恼之中他也清楚这一点，他是不会跟艾达结婚的——她出现于过渡时期——但是他一定能找到在伦敦为他开拓的那个新世界的女神，她与莫瑞斯‘霍尔迥然不同。
收听单词发音 |
1
charing
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| n.炭化v.把…烧成炭，把…烧焦( char的现在分词 )；烧成炭，烧焦；做杂役女佣 | |
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hoot
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| n.鸟叫声，汽车的喇叭声； v.使汽车鸣喇叭 | |
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owl
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| n.猫头鹰，枭 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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tune
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| n.调子；和谐，协调；v.调音，调节，调整 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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ass
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| n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人 | |
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sketching
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| n.草图 | |
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grievances
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| n.委屈( grievance的名词复数 )；苦衷；不满；牢骚 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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jersey
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| n.运动衫 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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exclamations
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| n.呼喊( exclamation的名词复数 )；感叹；感叹语；感叹词 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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primroses
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| n.报春花( primrose的名词复数 )；淡黄色；追求享乐（招至恶果） | |
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deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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alley
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| n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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incited
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| 刺激，激励，煽动( incite的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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candid
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| adj.公正的，正直的；坦率的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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glorified
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| 美其名的，变荣耀的 | |
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temperate
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| adj.温和的，温带的，自我克制的，不过分的 | |
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distressed
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| 痛苦的 | |
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nonplussed
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| adj.不知所措的，陷于窘境的v.使迷惑( nonplus的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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catching
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| adj.易传染的，有魅力的，迷人的，接住 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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36
averting
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| 防止，避免( avert的现在分词 )； 转移 | |
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impersonal
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| adj.无个人感情的，与个人无关的，非人称的 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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ironical
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| adj.讽刺的，冷嘲的 | |
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leopard
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| n.豹 | |
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muddle
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| n.困惑，混浊状态；vt.使混乱，使糊涂，使惊呆；vi.胡乱应付，混乱 | |
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outlaws
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| 歹徒，亡命之徒( outlaw的名词复数 )； 逃犯 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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44
groaned
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| v.呻吟( groan的过去式和过去分词 )；发牢骚；抱怨；受苦 | |
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45
random
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| adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
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46
discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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47
implored
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| 恳求或乞求（某人）( implore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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48
clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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49
chivalry
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| n.骑士气概，侠义；（男人）对女人彬彬有礼，献殷勤 | |
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50
dodged
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| v.闪躲( dodge的过去式和过去分词 )；回避 | |
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51
hostility
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| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
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52
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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53
appeased
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| 安抚，抚慰( appease的过去式和过去分词 )； 绥靖（满足另一国的要求以避免战争） | |
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54
nervously
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| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
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55
prerogative
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| n.特权 | |
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owls
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| n.猫头鹰( owl的名词复数 ) | |
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57
hooted
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| （使）作汽笛声响，作汽车喇叭声( hoot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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58
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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59
suburban
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| adj.城郊的，在郊区的 | |
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60
scorching
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| adj. 灼热的 | |
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61
immaturity
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| n.不成熟；未充分成长；未成熟；粗糙 | |
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62
ushering
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| v.引，领，陪同( usher的现在分词 ) | |
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63
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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