Dr Barry had given the best advice he could. He had read no scientific works on Maurice's subject. None had existed when he walked the hospitals, and any published since were in German, and therefore suspect. Averse1 to it by temperament2, he endorsed3 the verdict of society gladly; that is to say, his verdict was theological. He held that only the most depraved could glance at Sodom, and so, when a man of good antecedents and physique confessed the tendency, "Rubbish, rubbish!" was his natural reply. He was quite sincere. He be-lieved that Maurice had heard some remark by chance, which had generated morbid4 thoughts, and that the contemptuous silence of a medical man would at once dispel5 them.
And Maurice went away not unimpressed. Dr Barry was a great name at home. He had twice saved Kitty and had attended Mr Hall through his last illness, and he was so honest and in-dependent and never said what he did not feel. He had been their ultimate authority for nearly twenty years—seldom ap-pealed to, but known to exist and to judge righteousness, and now that he pronounced "rubbish", Maurice wondered whether it might not be rubbish, though every fibre in him protested. He hated Dr Barry's mind; to tolerate prostitution struck him as beastly. Yet he respected it and went away inclined for another argument with destiny.
He was the more inclined for a reason that he could not tell
to the doctor. Clive had turned towards women soon after he reached the age of twenty-four. He himself would be twenty-four in August. Was it possible that he would turn also . . . and now that he came to think, few men married before twenty-four. Maurice had the Englishman's inability to conceive variety. His troubles had taught him that other people are alive, but not yet that they are different, and he attempted to regard Clive's devel-opment as a forerunner6 of his own.
It would be jolly certainly to be married, and at one with so-ciety and the law. Dr Barry, meeting him on another day, said, "Maurice, you get the right girl—there'll be no more trouble then." Gladys Olcott recurred7 to him. Of course he was not a crude undergraduate now. He had suffered and explored him-self, and knew he was abnormal. But hopelessly so? Suppose he met a woman who was sympathetic in other ways? He wanted children. He was capable of begetting8 children—Dr Barry had said so. Was marriage impossible after all? The topic was in the air at home, owing to Ada, and his mother would often suggest that he should find someone for Kitty and Kitty someone for him. Her detachment was amazing. The words "marriage," "love," "a family" had lost all meaning to her during widowhood. A concert ticket sent by Miss Tonks to Kitty revealed possibilities. Kitty could not use it, and offered it round the table. Maurice said he should like to go. She reminded him that it was his Club night, but he said he would cut that. He went, and it happened to be the symphony of Tchaikovsky Clive had taught him to like. He enjoyed the piercing and the tearing and the soothing—the mu-sic did not mean more to him than that—and they induced a warm feeling of gratitude9 towards Miss Tonks. Unfortunately, after the concert he met Risley.
"Symphonie Pathique," said Risley gaily10.
"Symphony Pathetic," corrected the Philistine11.
"Symphonie Incestueuse et Pathique." And he informed his young friend that Tchaikovsky had fallen in love with his own nephew, and dedicated12 his masterpiece to him. "I come to see all respectable London flock. Isn't itsupreme!"
"Queer things you know," said Maurice stuffily13. It was odd that when he had a confidant he didn't want one. But he got a life of Tchaikovsky out of the library at once. The episode of the composer's marriage conveys little to the normal reader, who vaguely14 assumes incompatibility15, but it thrilled Maurice. He knew what the disaster meant and how near Dr Barry had dragged him to it. Reading on, he made the acquaintance of "Bob", the wonderful nephew to whom Tchaikovsky turns after the breakdown16, and in whom is his spiritual and musical resur-rection. The book blew off the gathering17 dust and he respected it as the one literary work that had ever helped him. But it only helped him backwards18. He was where he had been in the train, having gained nothing except the belief that doctors are fools.
Now every avenue seemed blocked, and in his despair he turned to the practices he had abandoned as a boy, and found they did bring him a degraded kind of peace, did still the physi-cal urge into which all his sensations were contracting, and enable him to do his work. He was an average man, and could have won an average fight, but Nature had pitted him against the extraordinary, which only saints can subdue19 unaided, and he began to lose ground. Shortly before his visit to Penge a new hope dawned, faint and unlovely. It was hypnotism. Mr Corn-wallis, Risky20 told him, had been hypnotized. A doctor had said, "Come, come, you are no eunuch!" and lo! he had ceased to be one. Maurice procured21 the doctor's address, but did not suppose anything would come of it: one interview with the science suf-ficed him, and he always felt Risley knew too much; his voice when he gave the address was friendly but slightly amused.
巴里大夫给了自己所能给的最好的医嘱。他从未读过有关莫瑞斯这种症状的医学论文，当他在医院里实习的时候，还没有这些论文。后来所发表的有关论文又都是用德文写的，因此令人怀疑。他生性对此感到厌恶，因而高高兴兴地赞同社会所做出的裁决。也就是说，那是站在神学立场上的裁决。他相信，惟有最堕落的人才会瞥视所多玛。因此，当一个身世清白、身体健康的人向他坦白自己有这种倾向的时候，他自自然然地就回答说：“胡说八道！胡说八道！”他是十分真诚的。他坚信莫瑞斯是偶然风闻一些议论，从而酿成病态的思绪，而一个医师那充满轻蔑的沉默是能够立即消除这种疑虑的。
莫瑞斯也不是无动于衷地告辞而去的。在霍尔家，巴里大夫可谓大名鼎鼎，他两次使吉蒂起死回生。霍尔先生生最后那场病期间，始终是由他护理的。他非常正直，有独立见解，从来也没有言不由衷过。将近二十年来，他一直是他们家的至高无上的权威者。他们轻易不求助于他，然而全家人都知道他的存在，知道他是能够判断是非的。如今他虽然断定莫瑞斯是在“胡说八道”，但莫瑞斯的每个细胞都有所抵触，心里还是很怀疑：难道自己真是在胡说八道吗？他憎恨巴里大夫的处世哲学：容忍卖淫，简直是卑鄙。但是他依然尊重大夫的想法。他有意与命运再度争辩，离开了大夫家。
由于不便告诉大夫的一个原因，他加强了这个心意。克莱夫刚满二十四岁就对女人感兴趣了。到了八月，他就满二十四岁了。他或许也会转变吧……现在想想，不满二十四岁就结婚的男人寥寥无几。像大多数英国人那样，莫瑞斯意想不到社会上有各种各样的人。他的烦恼教给他，世上还生活着其他人，却没告诉他，人们是形形色色的。他试图把克莱夫的发展过程看作自己的先驱。
倘若能够结婚，与社会和法律达成共识，该是何等愉快啊。后来巴里大夫又遇见了莫瑞斯，并且说：“莫瑞斯，你去找个合适姑娘——这样一来就什么麻烦都没有了。”他想起了格拉迪斯·奥尔科特。当然，如今他已不是那个生硬的大学生了。在那之后，他吃尽了苦头，做过自我剖析，知道自己不正常。然而，难道就没有希望吗？假使他遇见了一个女子，在其他方面对他表示同情呢？他希望有儿女。他是有生育能力的——巴里大夫这么说过。难道他终究不能结婚吗？由于艾达的缘故，这个话题在家里闹得沸沸扬扬。他母亲经常建议他为吉蒂找个什么人。吉蒂则为他找，她抱着一种令人吃惊的超然态度。对她来说，在守寡期间，“婚姻”、“爱”与“子女”这些词已丧失了全部意义。汤克斯小姐送给吉蒂一张音乐会的票，透露出种种可能性。吉蒂说自己不能去，挨个儿问围桌而坐的人要不要。莫瑞斯表示他愿意去。她提醒他道，那天晚上他还有俱乐部的活动呢。然而他说，他不参加了。他去了，碰巧是柴可夫斯基的交响曲。那是克莱夫教会他喜欢上的。他欣赏那种刺耳、撕裂、抚慰——对他而言，该乐曲所意味的不超过这个——乐曲还诱使他对汤克斯小姐生出温情脉脉的感激。不幸的是，散场后他遇见了里斯利。
“《背德悲响曲》。”里斯利愉快地说。
“《悲怆交响曲》。”俗人纠正说。
“《乱伦与背德悲响曲》。”于是他告诉他的年轻朋友，柴可夫斯基爱上了自己的侄子，并把杰作献给了他。“我来瞧瞧伦敦的一切绅士淑女恭听这乐曲的场面。哎呀，至高无上！”
“你怎么知道这么古怪的事。”莫瑞斯一本正经地说。奇怪的是，当他找到一个知己的时候，他并不想吐露秘密。不过，他马上到图书馆，找来了一本柴可夫斯基的传记。对正常的读者而言，这位作曲家的婚姻没有多大意义，充其量能揣测他与妻子合不来。然而，莫瑞斯却感到一阵狂喜。他知道这种不幸意味着什么，以及巴里大夫怎样把他拖到悲惨结局的边缘。读着读着，他与“鲍勃”相识了。婚姻破裂后，柴可夫斯基被这位了不起的侄子所吸引，从而在精神上和音乐上获得新生。此书把积尘吹掉了，他对它心怀敬意。因为它是惟一帮助过他的文学作品。然而它仅仅是帮助他后退了而已。他还停留在火车中的那个场所，除了相信大夫们统统是傻瓜以外，一无所获。
现在，条条道路好像都堵死了。出于绝望，他恢复了少年时代就已放弃的行为。他发现，这确实给予自己一种堕落的安宁，确实把支配自己全部感觉的生理冲动镇定下来，好容易才得以埋头工作。他是个普通的人，能够在一场普通的战斗中获胜。然而大自然却把他摆在与不同寻常的事物进行较量的位置上，惟有圣徒才能独力征服它，他开始节节败退。造访彭杰之前不久，新的希望渐露端倪，模模糊糊，不够美好。是催眠术，里斯利告诉他，康沃利斯先生就曾求助于催眠术。一位大夫说：“喂，喂，你不是个阉人！”于是，看哪！他就再也不是阉人了。莫瑞斯找到了那位大夫的地址，但他并不相信会有什么结果。他跟科学打过一次交道，就足矣了。他一向觉得里斯利知道得太多了。当里斯利交给他那个地址的时候，口气固然友好，却略微有点儿觉得有趣的味道。
收听单词发音 |
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averse
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| adj.厌恶的；反对的，不乐意的 | |
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temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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endorsed
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| vt.& vi.endorse的过去式或过去分词形式v.赞同( endorse的过去式和过去分词 )；在（尤指支票的）背面签字；在（文件的）背面写评论；在广告上说本人使用并赞同某产品 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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dispel
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| vt.驱走，驱散，消除 | |
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forerunner
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| n.前身，先驱（者），预兆，祖先 | |
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recurred
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| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
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begetting
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| v.为…之生父( beget的现在分词 )；产生，引起 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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gaily
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| adv.欢乐地，高兴地 | |
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philistine
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| n.庸俗的人；adj.市侩的，庸俗的 | |
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dedicated
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| adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的 | |
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stuffily
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vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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incompatibility
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| n.不兼容 | |
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breakdown
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| n.垮，衰竭；损坏，故障，倒塌 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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backwards
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| adv.往回地，向原处，倒，相反，前后倒置地 | |
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subdue
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| vt.制服，使顺从，征服；抑制，克制 | |
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risky
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| adj.有风险的，冒险的 | |
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procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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