Part 2 Chapter 13

I N JUNE, the court flew to Israel for two weeks. The hearing there took only a few days, but the judge and prosecutors¹ made it a combined judicial² and touristic outing, Jerusalem and Tel Aviv, the Negev and the Red Sea. It was undoubtedly³ all aboveboard as regards rules of conduct, vacations, and expense accounts, but I found it bizarre nonetheless.

I had planned to devote these two weeks to my studies. But it didn’t go the way I had imagined and planned. I couldn’t concentrate enough to learn anything, either from the professors or my books. Again and again, my thoughts wandered off and were lost in images.

I saw Hanna by the burning church, hard-faced, in a black uniform, with a riding whip. She drew circles in the snow with her whip, and slapped it against her boots. I saw her being read to. She listened carefully, asked no questions, and made no comments. When the hour was over, she told the reader she would be going on the transport to Auschwitz next morning. The reader, a frail⁴ creature with a stubble of black hair and nearsighted eyes, began to cry. Hanna hit the wall with her hand and two women, also prisoners in striped clothing, came in and pulled the reader away. I saw Hanna walking the paths in the camp, going into the prisoners’ barracks and overseeing construction work. She did it all with the same hard face, cold eyes, and pursed mouth, and the prisoners ducked, bent⁵ over their work, pressed themselves against the wall, into the wall, wanted to disappear into the wall. Sometimes there were many prisoners gathered together or running from one place to the other or standing⁶ in line or marching, and Hanna stood among them and screamed orders, her screaming face a mask of ugliness, and helped things along with her whip. I saw the church steeple crashing into the roof and the sparks flying and heard the desperation of the women. I saw the burned-out church next morning.

Alongside these images, I saw the others. Hanna pulling on her stockings in the kitchen, standing by the bathtub holding the towel, riding her bicycle with skirts flying, standing in my father’s study, dancing in front of the mirror, looking at me at the pool, Hanna listening to me, talking to me, laughing at me, loving me. Hanna loving me with cold eyes and pursed mouth, silently listening to me reading, and at the end banging the wall with her hand, talking to me with her face turning into a mask. The worst were the dreams in which a hard, imperious, cruel Hanna aroused me sexually; I woke from them full of longing⁷ and shame and rage. And full of fear about who I really was.

I knew that my fantasized images were poor clichés. They were unfair to the Hanna I had known and still knew. But still they were very powerful. They undermined my actual memories of Hanna and merged⁸ with the images of the camps that I had in my mind.

When I think today about those years, I realize how little direct observation there actually was, how few photographs that made life and murder in the camps real. We knew the gate of Auschwitz with its inscription⁹, the stacked wooden bunks¹⁰, the piles of hair and spectacles and suitcases; we knew the building that formed the entrance to Birkenau with the tower, the two wings, and the entryway for the trains, and from Bergen-Belsen the mountains of corpses¹¹ found and photographed by the Allies at the liberation. We were familiar with some of the testimony¹² of prisoners, but many of them were published soon after the war and not reissued until the 1980s, and in the intervening years they disappeared from publishers’ lists. Today there are so many books and films that the world of the camps is part of our collective imagination and completes our ordinary everyday one. Our imagination knows its way around in it, and since the television series Holocaust¹³ and movies like Sophie’s Choice and especially Schindler’s List, actually moves in it, not just registering, but supplementing and embellishing¹⁴ it. Back then, the imagination was almost static: the shattering fact of the world of the camps seemed properly beyond its operations. The few images derived¹⁵ from Allied¹⁶ photographs and the testimony of survivors¹⁷ flashed on the mind again and again, until they froze into clichés.

　　六月，法官们去了以色列，为期两周。那里的听证用不了几天，但是法官和律师们把公务和游耶路撒冷、特拉维夫、内盖夫及红海结合了起来。这是一次公私兼顾的度假，费用自然也不会有问题。尽管如此，我认为这不正常。

　　我计划把这两周完全用于学习，但是，事情并未按我所设想的那样进行。我无法集中精力学习，无法集中精力听教授们讲课，无法集中精力看书。我的思想一次又一次地开小差，我浮想联翩。

　　我看见汉娜站在熊熊燃烧的教堂旁，表情僵硬，身着黑色制服，手执马鞭。她用马鞭在雪地里画着小圆圈，然后用长统靴一脚踢开。我看见她怎样让人为她朗读，她聚精会神地听着，不提问题，不做评论。当朗读的时间结束时，她便告诉她的朗读者，明天她将被送往奥斯威辛。那位瘦弱的、头上长出黑色头巷、眼睛近视的宠儿开始哭泣起来。汉娜用手敲敲墙壁，随后进来两位也穿着有条纹衣服的女囚犯，她们便把那位朗读者生拉硬拖出去。我看见汉娜沿着集中营的路走着，进了囚犯们住的临时搭建起来的木板房，监督她们干活。她带着同样僵硬的表情、冷酷的目光、微薄的嘴唇做着这一切。囚犯们突然低下头，弯腰屈背地干活，躲避到墙边，躲进墙里，恨不得消失在墙壁里。有时候囚犯被集合起来，来回跑步，或练习列队行走。汉娜站在她们中间，喊着口令。她喊叫口令时的表情丑陋难看，手中的马鞭令其更难看。我看见教堂的塔顶坍塌到教堂的房顶上，火光冲天。我听见女人们绝望的呼救声。我看见第二天早上被烧毁的教堂。

　　除了这个情景之外，我又看到了另一番景象。那个在厨房里穿长统袜的汉娜，那个在浴缸旁拿着浴巾的汉娜，那个骑着自行车、裙子随风飘舞的汉娜，那个在我父亲书房里的汉娜，那个在镜子前跳舞的汉娜，那个在游泳池向我这边张望着的汉娜，那个听我朗读、与我交谈、喜欢我、爱我的汉娜。当这些情景杂乱地出现在我的脑海中时最为糟糕。汉娜的形象还有：那个长着薄薄的嘴唇的、爱我的和那个目光冷酷的汉娜，那个默不作声听我朗读的和那个在朗读结束时用手敲击墙壁的汉娜，那个与我交谈和那个问我做鬼脸的汉娜。最糟糕透顶的是那些梦，梦境中，那个冷酷无情、专横跋扈、粗暴残酷的汉娜竟然引起了我的性欲。我带着渴望、羞愧和愤恨从梦中醒来，我忐忑不安，不知自己是何许人。

　　我知道，那些幻想已经落入微不足道的俗套，它对我所熟悉、所认识的汉娜来说不公平。不过它还是很有威力的，它破坏了我心目中的汉娜形象，使我总是联想起汉娜在集中营的情景。

　　当我现在回想当年的情景时，我发现，能让人具体地想象集中营生活和谋杀情景的直观形象是多么少。我们知道奥斯威辛刻有铭文的大门、多层的木板床及成堆的头发、眼镜和稻子。我们知道比肯瑙集中营带燎望塔的大门、侧廊和火车通道。我们知道贝尔根一贝尔森集中营由盟军在解放这个集中营时发现并拍摄下来的尸山图片。我们知道为数不多的几篇由囚犯写的报道，但是，许多报道是战后不久出版的。这之后，只是到了八十年代才又有这类报道出版发行。战后到八十年代这期间，这类报道不属出版社的出版发行项目。今天有这么多的书和电影存在，这样，集中营的世界就变成了我们大家共同想象的世界的一部分，集中营的世界使我们共同拥有的现实世界变得完整起来。世界充满想象。自从电视系列片《大屠杀》和电影故事片如《索菲姬的抉择》，尤其是电影《辛德勒的名单》上映以来，想象力开始在世界上活跃起来，想象不仅仅限于现实，而且还给它添枝加叶。这之前，人们的想象力几乎是静止的，人们认为在集中营里犯下的骇人听闻的罪孽不适于活跃的想象力。从盟军拍摄的照片和囚犯们写的报道中，人们联想到一些情景，这些情景反过来又束缚了人们的想象力，使它们变得越来越僵化。

1 prosecutors   

检举人( prosecutor的名词复数 )； 告发人； 起诉人； 公诉人

参考例句：

• In some places,public prosecutors are elected rather than appointed. 在有些地方，检察官是经选举而非任命产生的。 来自口语例句
• You've been summoned to the Prosecutors' Office, 2 days later. 你在两天以后被宣到了检察官的办公室。

2 judicial   

adj.司法的，法庭的，审判的，明断的，公正的

参考例句：

• He is a man with a judicial mind.他是个公正的人。
• Tom takes judicial proceedings against his father.汤姆对他的父亲正式提出诉讼。

3 undoubtedly   

adv.确实地，无疑地

参考例句：

• It is undoubtedly she who has said that.这话明明是她说的。
• He is undoubtedly the pride of China.毫无疑问他是中国的骄傲。

4 frail   

adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的

参考例句：

• Mrs. Warner is already 96 and too frail to live by herself.华纳太太已经九十六岁了，身体虚弱，不便独居。
• She lay in bed looking particularly frail.她躺在床上，看上去特别虚弱。

5 bent   

n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的

参考例句：

• He was fully bent upon the project.他一心扑在这项计划上。
• We bent over backward to help them.我们尽了最大努力帮助他们。

6 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

7 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

8 merged   

（使）混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 )； 相融； 融入； 渐渐消失在某物中

参考例句：

• Turf wars are inevitable when two departments are merged. 两个部门合并时总免不了争争权限。
• The small shops were merged into a large market. 那些小商店合并成为一个大商场。

9 inscription   

n.（尤指石块上的）刻印文字，铭文，碑文

参考例句：

• The inscription has worn away and can no longer be read.铭文已磨损，无法辨认了。
• He chiselled an inscription on the marble.他在大理石上刻碑文。

10 bunks   

n.（车、船等倚壁而设的）铺位( bunk的名词复数 )；空话，废话v.（车、船等倚壁而设的）铺位( bunk的第三人称单数 )；空话，废话

参考例句：

• These bunks can tip up and fold back into the wall. 这些铺位可以翻起来并折叠收入墙内。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• At last they turned into their little bunks in the cart. 最后他们都钻进车内的小卧铺里。 来自辞典例句

11 corpses   

n.死尸，尸体( corpse的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The living soldiers put corpses together and burned them. 活着的战士把尸体放在一起烧了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Overhead, grayish-white clouds covered the sky, piling up heavily like decaying corpses. 天上罩满了灰白的薄云，同腐烂的尸体似的沉沉的盖在那里。 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说

12 testimony   

n.证词；见证，证明

参考例句：

• The testimony given by him is dubious.他所作的证据是可疑的。
• He was called in to bear testimony to what the police officer said.他被传入为警官所说的话作证。

13 holocaust   

n.大破坏；大屠杀

参考例句：

• The Auschwitz concentration camp always remind the world of the holocaust.奥辛威茨集中营总是让世人想起大屠杀。
• Ahmadinejad is denying the holocaust because he's as brutal as Hitler was.内贾德否认大屠杀，因为他像希特勒一样残忍。

14 embellishing   

v.美化( embellish的现在分词 )；装饰；修饰；润色

参考例句：

• He kept embellishing it in his mind, building up the laughs. 他在心里不断地为它添油加醋，增加笑料。 来自辞典例句
• Bumper's each angle is embellishing the small air vent, manifested complete bikes's width to increase. 保险杠的每个角都点缀着小的通风孔，体现了整车的宽度增加。 来自互联网

15 derived   

vi.起源；由来；衍生；导出v.得到( derive的过去式和过去分词 )；（从…中）得到获得；源于；（从…中）提取

参考例句：

• Many English words are derived from Latin and Greek. 英语很多词源出于拉丁文和希腊文。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• He derived his enthusiasm for literature from his father. 他对文学的爱好是受他父亲的影响。 来自《简明英汉词典》

16 allied   

adj.协约国的；同盟国的

参考例句：

• Britain was allied with the United States many times in history.历史上英国曾多次与美国结盟。
• Allied forces sustained heavy losses in the first few weeks of the campaign.同盟国在最初几周内遭受了巨大的损失。

17 survivors   

幸存者，残存者，生还者( survivor的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• The survivors were adrift in a lifeboat for six days. 幸存者在救生艇上漂流了六天。
• survivors clinging to a raft 紧紧抓住救生筏的幸存者