Mrs. Welman lay on her carefully built-up pillows. Her breathing was a little heavy, but she wasnot asleep. Her eyes—eyes still deep and blue like those of her niece Elinor, looked up at theceiling. She was a big, heavy woman, with a handsome, hawklike1 profile. Pride and determinationshowed in her face.
The eyes dropped and came to rest on the figure sitting by the window. They rested theretenderly—almost wistfully.
She said at last:
“Mary—”
The girl turned quickly.
“Oh, you’re awake, Mrs. Welman.”
Laura Welman said:
“Yes, I’ve been awake some time….”
“Oh, I didn’t know. I’d have—”
Mrs. Welman broke in:
“No, that’s all right. I was thinking—thinking of many things.”
“Yes, Mrs. Welman?”
The sympathetic look, the interested voice, made a tender look come into the older woman’sface. She said gently:
“I’m very fond of you, my dear. You’re very good to me.”
“Oh, Mrs. Welman, it’s you who have been good to me. If it hadn’t been for you, I don’t knowwhat I should have done! You’ve done everything for me.”
“I don’t know… I don’t know, I’m sure…” The sick woman moved restlessly, her right armtwitched—the left remaining inert2 and lifeless. “One means to do the best one can; but it’s sodifficult to know what is best—what is right. I’ve been too sure of myself always….”
Mary Gerrard said:
“Oh, no, I’m sure you always know what is best and right to do.”
But Laura Welman shook her head.
“No—no. It worries me. I’ve had one besetting3 sin always, Mary: I’m proud. Pride can be thedevil. It runs in our family. Elinor has it, too.”
Mary said quickly:
“It will be nice for you to have Miss Elinor and Mr. Roderick down. It will cheer you up a lot.
It’s quite a time since they were here.”
Mrs. Welman said softly:
“They’re good children—very good children. And fond of me, both of them. I always knowI’ve only got to send and they’ll come at any time. But I don’t want to do that too often. They’reyoung and happy—the world in front of them. No need to bring them near decay and sufferingbefore their time.”
Mary said, “I’m sure they’d never feel like that, Mrs. Welman.”
Mrs. Welman went on, talking perhaps more to herself than to the girl:
“I always hoped they might marry. But I tried never to suggest anything of the kind. Youngpeople are so contradictory4. It would have put them off! I had an idea, long ago when they werechildren, that Elinor had set her heart on Roddy. But I wasn’t at all sure about him. He’s a funnycreature. Henry was like that—very reserved and fastidious… Yes, Henry…”
She was silent for a little, thinking of her dead husband.
She murmured:
“So long ago…so very long ago… We had only been married five years when he died. Doublepneumonia… We were happy—yes, very happy; but somehow it all seems very unreal, thathappiness. I was an odd, solemn, undeveloped girl—my head full of ideas and hero worship. Noreality…”
Mary murmured:
“You must have been very lonely—afterwards.”
“After? Oh, yes—terribly lonely. I was twenty-six…and now I’m over sixty. A long time, mydear…a long, long time…” She said with sudden brisk acerbity5, “And now this!”
“Your illness?”
“Yes. A stroke is the thing I’ve always dreaded6. The indignity7 of it all! Washed and tended likea baby! Helpless to do anything for yourself. It maddens me. The O’Brien creature is good-natured—I will say that for her. She doesn’t mind my snapping at her and she’s not more idiotic8 than mostof them. But it makes a lot of difference to me to have you about, Mary.”
“Does it?” The girl flushed. “I—I’m so glad, Mrs. Welman.”
Laura Welman said shrewdly:
“You’ve been worrying, haven’t you? About the future. You leave it to me, my dear. I’ll see toit that you shall have the means to be independent and take up a profession. But be patient for alittle—it means too much to me to have you here.”
“Oh, Mrs. Welman, of course—of course! I wouldn’t leave you for the world. Not if you wantme—”
“I do want you…” The voice was unusually deep and full. “You’re — you’re quite like adaughter to me, Mary. I’ve seen you grow up here at Hunterbury from a little toddling9 thing—seenyou grow into a beautiful girl… I’m proud of you, child. I only hope I’ve done what was best foryou.”
Mary said quickly:
“If you mean that your having been so good to me and having educated me above—well, abovemy station—if you think it’s made me dissatisfied or—or—given me what Father calls fine-ladyideas, indeed that isn’t true. I’m just ever so grateful, that’s all. And if I’m anxious to start earningmy living, it’s only because I feel it’s right that I should, and not—and not—well, do nothing afterall you’ve done for me. I—I shouldn’t like it to be thought that I was sponging on you.”
Laura Welman said, and her voice was suddenly sharp-edged:
“So that’s what Gerrard’s been putting into your head? Pay no attention to your father, Mary;there never has been and never will be any question of your sponging on me! I’m asking you tostay here a little longer solely10 on my account. Soon it will be over… If they went the proper wayabout things, my life could be ended here and now—none of this long-drawn-out tomfoolery withnurses and doctors.”
“Oh, no, Mrs. Welman, Dr. Lord says you may live for years.”
“I’m not at all anxious to, thank you! I told him the other day that in a decently civilized11 state,all there would be to do would be for me to intimate to him that I wished to end it, and he’d finishme off painlessly with some nice drug. ‘And if you’d any courage, Doctor,’ I said, ‘you’d do it,anyway!’”
Mary cried:
“Oh! What did he say?”
“The disrespectful young man merely grinned at me, my dear, and said he wasn’t going to riskbeing hanged. He said, ‘If you’d left me all your money, Mrs. Welman, that would be different, ofcourse!’ Impudent12 young jackanapes! But I like him. His visits do me more good than hismedicines.”
“Yes, he’s very nice,” said Mary. “Nurse O’Brien thinks a lot of him and so does NurseHopkins.”
Mrs. Welman said:
“Hopkins ought to have more sense at her age. As for O’Brien, she simpers and says, ‘Oh,doctor,’ and tosses those long streamers of hers whenever he comes near her.”
“Poor Nurse O’Brien.”
Mrs. Welman said indulgently:
“She’s not a bad sort, really, but all nurses annoy me; they always will think that you’d like a‘nice cup of tea’ at five in the morning!” She paused. “What’s that? Is it the car?”
Mary looked out of the window.
“Yes, it’s the car. Miss Elinor and Mr. Roderick have arrived.”
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1
hawklike
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2
inert
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| adj.无活动能力的，惰性的；迟钝的 | |
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3
besetting
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| adj.不断攻击的v.困扰( beset的现在分词 )；不断围攻；镶；嵌 | |
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4
contradictory
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| adj.反驳的，反对的，抗辩的；n.正反对，矛盾对立 | |
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acerbity
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| n.涩，酸，刻薄 | |
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dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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indignity
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| n.侮辱，伤害尊严，轻蔑 | |
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8
idiotic
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| adj.白痴的 | |
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toddling
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| v.（幼儿等）东倒西歪地走( toddle的现在分词 )；蹒跚行走；溜达；散步 | |
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10
solely
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| adv.仅仅，唯一地 | |
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civilized
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| a.有教养的，文雅的 | |
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impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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