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Rose fell in love with Clifford at a party which Clifford and Jocelyn gave and Patrick and Roseattended. They had been married about three years at this time, Clifford and Jocelyn a year or solonger.
Clifford and Jocelyn lived out past West Vancouver, in one of those summer cottages,haphazardly winterized, that used to line the short curving streets between the lower highway andthe sea. The party was in March, on a rainy night. Rose was nervous about going to it. She feltalmost sick as they drove through West Vancouver, watched the neon lights weeping in thepuddles on the road, listened to the condemning2 tick of the windshield wipers. She would oftenafterwards look back and see herself sitting beside Patrick, in her low-cut black blouse and blackvelvet skirt which she hoped would turn out to be the right thing to wear; she was wishing theywere just going to the movies. She had no idea that her life was going to be altered.
Patrick was nervous too, although he would not have admitted it. Social life was a puzzling,often disagreeable business for them both. They had arrived in Vancouver knowing nobody. Theyfollowed leads. Rose was not sure whether they really longed for friends, or simply believed theyought to have them. They dressed up and went out to visit people, or tidied up the living room andwaited for the people who had been invited to visit them. In some cases they established steadyvisiting patterns. They had some drinks, during those evenings, and around eleven or eleven-thirty—which hardly ever came soon enough—Rose went out to the kitchen and made coffee andsomething to eat. The things she made to eat were usually squares of toast, with a slice of tomatoon top, then a square of cheese, then a bit of bacon, the whole thing broiled5 and held together witha toothpick. She could not manage to think of anything else.
It was easier for them to become friends with people Patrick liked than with people Rose likedbecause Rose was very adaptable6, in fact deceitful, and Patrick was hardly adaptable at all. But inthis case, the case of Jocelyn and Clifford, the friends were Rose’s. Or Jocelyn was. Jocelyn andRose had known enough not to try to establish couple-visiting. Patrick disliked Clifford withoutknowing him because Clifford was a violinist; no doubt Clifford disliked Patrick because Patrickworked in a branch of his family’s department store. In those days the barriers between peoplewere still strong and reliable; between arty people and business people; between men and women.
Rose did not know any of Jocelyn’s friends, but understood they were musicians and journalistsand lecturers at the University and even a woman writer who had had a play performed on theradio. She expected them to be intelligent, witty7, and easily contemptuous. It seemed to her that allthe time she and Patrick were sitting in the living rooms, visiting or being visited, really clever andfunny people, who had a right to despise them, were conducting irregular lives and partieselsewhere. Now came the chance to be with those people, but her stomach rejected it, her handswere sweating.
JOCELYN AND ROSE had met in the maternity8 ward3 of the North Vancouver General Hospital.
The first thing Rose saw, on being taken back to the ward after having Anna, was Jocelyn sittingup in bed reading the Journals of André Gide. Rose knew the book by its colors, having noticed iton the drugstore stands. Gide was on the list of writers she meant to work through. At that timeshe read only great writers.
The immediately startling and comforting thing to Rose, about Jocelyn, was how much Jocelynlooked like a student, how little she had let herself be affected10 by the maternity ward. Jocelyn hadlong black braids, a heavy pale face, thick glasses, no trace of prettiness, and an air of comfortableconcentration.
A woman in the bed beside Jocelyn was describing the arrangement of her kitchen cupboards.
She would forget to tell where she kept something—rice, say, or brown sugar—and then shewould have to start all over again, making sure her audience was with her by saying “Rememberon the right hand highest shelf next the stove, that’s where I keep the packages of soup but not thecanned soup, I keep the canned soup underneath11 the counter in with the canned goods, well, rightnext to that—”
Other women tried to interrupt, to tell how they kept things, but they were not successful, or notfor long. Jocelyn sat reading, and twiddling the end of a braid between her fingers, as if she was ina library, at college, as if she was researching for a paper, and this world of other women hadnever closed down on her at all. Rose wished she could manage as well.
She was still dazed from the birth. Whenever she closed her eyes she saw an eclipse, a big blackball with a ring of fire. That was the baby’s head, ringed with pain, the instant before she pushed itout. Across this image, in disturbing waves, went the talking woman’s kitchen shelves, dippingunder their glaring weight of cans and packages. But she could open her eyes and see Jocelyn,black and white, braids falling over her hospital nightgown. Jocelyn was the only person she sawwho looked calm and serious enough to match the occasion.
Soon Jocelyn got out of bed, showing long white unshaved legs and a stomach still stretched bypregnancy. She put on a striped bathrobe. Instead of a cord, she tied a man’s necktie around herwaist. She slapped across the hospital linoleum12 in her bare feet. A nurse came running, warned herto put on slippers13.
“I don’t own any slippers.”
“Do you own shoes?” said the nurse rather nastily.
“Oh, yes. I own shoes.”
Jocelyn went back to the little metal cabinet beside her bed and took out a pair of large, dirty,run-over moccasins. She went off making as sloppy14 and insolent15 a noise as before.
Rose was longing16 to know her.
The next day Rose had her own book out to read. It was The LastPuritan, by George Santayana, but unfortunately it was a library copy; the title on the cover wasrubbed and dim, so it was impossible that Jocelyn should admire Rose’s reading material as Rosehad admired hers. Rose didn’t know how she could get to talk to her.
The woman who had explained about her cupboards was talking about how she used hervacuum cleaner. She said it was very important to use all the attachments18 because they each had apurpose and after all you had paid for them. Many people didn’t use them. She described how shevacuumed her living-room drapes. Another woman said she had tried to do that but the materialkept getting bunched up. The authoritative19 woman said that was because she hadn’t been doing itproperly.
Rose caught Jocelyn’s eye around the corner of her book.
“I hope you polish your stove knobs,” she said quietly.
“I certainly do,” said Jocelyn.
“Do you polish them every day?”
“I used to polish them twice a day but now that I have the new baby I just don’t know if I’ll getaround to it.”
“Do you use that special stove-knob polish?”
“I certainly do. And I use the special stove-knob cloths that come in that special package.”
“That’s good. Some people don’t.”
“Some people will use anything.”
“Old dishrags.”
“Old snotrags.”
“Old snot.”
After this their friendship bloomed in a hurry. It was one of those luxuriant intimacies20 thatspring up in institutions; in schools, at camp, in prison. They walked in the halls, disobeying thenurses. They annoyed and mystified the other women. They became hysterical21 as schoolgirls, fromthe things they read aloud to each other. They did not read Gide or Santayana but the copies ofTrue Love and Personal Romances which they had found in the waiting room.
“It says here you can buy false calves22,” Rose read. “I don’t see how you’d hide them, though. Iguess you strap23 them on your legs. Or maybe they just sit here inside your stockings but wouldn’tyou think they’d show?”
“On your legs?” said Jocelyn. “You strap them on your legs? Oh, false calves! False calves! Ithought you were talking about false calves! False baby cows!”
Anything like that could set them off.
“False baby cows!”
“False tits, false bums24, false baby cows!”
“What will they think of next!”
The vacuum-cleaning woman said they were always butting25 in and spoiling other people’sconversations and she didn’t see what was so funny about dirty language. She said if they didn’tstop the way they carried on they would sour their milk.
“I’ve been wondering if maybe mine is sour,” Jocelyn said. “It’s an awfully26 disgusting color.”
“What color?” Rose asked.
“Well. Sort of blue.”
“Good God, maybe it’s ink!”
The vacuum-cleaning woman said she was going to tell the nurse they were swearing. She saidshe was no prude, but. She asked if they were fit to be mothers. How was Jocelyn going to manageto wash diapers, when anybody could see she never washed her dressing28 gown?
Jocelyn said she planned to use moss29, she was an Indian.
“I can believe it,” the woman said.
After this Jocelyn and Rose prefaced many remarks with: I’m no prude, but.
“I’m no prude but would you look at this pudding!”
“I’m no prude but it feels like this kid has a full set of teeth.”
The nurse said, wasn’t it time for them to grow up?
Walking in the halls, Jocelyn told Rose that she was twenty-five, that her baby was to be calledAdam, that she had a two-year-old boy at home, named Jerome, that her husband’s name wasClifford and that he played the violin for a living. He played in the Vancouver Symphony. Theywere poor. Jocelyn came from Massachusetts and had gone to Wellesley College. Her father was apsychiatrist and her mother was a pediatrician. Rose told Jocelyn that she came from a small townin Ontario and that Patrick came from Vancouver Island and that his parents did not approve of themarriage.
“In the town I come from,” Rose said, exaggerating, “everybody says yez. What’ll yez have?
How’re yez doin.”
“Youse. It’s the plural31 of you.”
“Oh. Like Brooklyn. And James Joyce. Who does Patrick work for?”
“His family’s store. His family has a department store.”
“So aren’t you rich now? Aren’t you too rich to be in the ward?” “We just spent all our moneyon a house Patrick wanted.” “Didn’t you want it?”
“Not so much as he did.”
That was something Rose had never said before.
They plunged33 into more random34 revelations.
Jocelyn hated her mother. Her mother had made her sleep in a room with white organdycurtains and had encouraged her to collect ducks. By the time she was thirteen Jocelyn hadprobably the largest collection in the world of rubber ducks, ceramic35 ducks, wooden ducks,pictures of ducks, embroidered36 ducks. She had also written what she described as a hideouslyprecocious story called “The Marvelous Great Adventures of Oliver the Grand Duck,” which hermother actually got printed and distributed to friends and relatives at Christmas time.
“She is the sort of person who just covers everything with a kind of rotten smarminess37. She sortof oozes38 over everything. She never talks in a normal voice, never. She’s coy. She’s just so filthycoy. Naturally she’s a great success as a pediatrician. She has these rotten coy little names for allthe parts of your body.”
Rose, who would have been delighted with organdy curtains, perceived the fine lines, the waysof giving offence, that existed in Jocelyn’s world. It seemed a much less crude and provisionalworld than her own. She doubted if she could tell Jocelyn about Hanratty but she began to try. Shedelivered Flo and the store in broad strokes. She played up the poverty. She didn’t really have to.
The true facts of her childhood were exotic enough to Jocelyn, and of all things, enviable.
“It seems more real,” Jocelyn said. “I know that’s a romantic notion.”
They talked of their youthful ambitions. (They really believed their youth to be past.) Rose saidshe had wanted to be an actress though she was too much of a coward ever to walk on a stage.
Jocelyn had wanted to be a writer but was shamed out of it by memories of the Grand Duck.
“Then I met Clifford,” she said. “When I saw what real talent was, I knew that I would probablyjust be fooling around, trying to write, and I’d be better off nurturing40 him, or whatever the hell it isI do for him. He is really gifted. Sometimes he’s a squalid sort of person. He gets away with itbecause he is really gifted.”
“I think that is a romantic notion,” Rose said firmly and jealously. “That gifted people ought toget away with things.”
“Do you? But great artists always have.”
“Not women.”
“But women usually aren’t great artists, not in the same way.” These were the ideas of mostwell-educated, thoughtful, even unconventional or politically radical41 young women of the time.
One of the reasons Rose did not share them was that she had not been well educated. Jocelyn saidto her, much later in their friendship, that one of the reasons she found it so interesting to talk toRose, from the start, was that Rose had ideas but was uneducated. Rose was surprised at this, andmentioned the college she had attended in Western Ontario. Then she saw by an embarrassedwithdrawal or regret, a sudden lack of frankness in Jocelyn’s face—very unusual with her—thatthat was exactly what Jocelyn had meant.
After the difference of opinion about artists, and about men and women artists, Rose took agood look at Clifford when he came visiting in the evening. She thought him wan32, self-indulgent,and neurotic-looking. Further discoveries concerning the tact42, the effort, the sheer physical energyJocelyn expended43 on this marriage (it was she who fixed44 the leaky taps and dug up the cloggeddrains) made Rose certain that Jocelyn was wasting herself, she was mistaken. She had a feelingthat Jocelyn did not see much point in marriage with Patrick, either.
AT FIRST the party was easier than Rose had expected. She had been afraid that she would be toodressed-up; she would have liked to wear her toreador pants but Patrick would never have stoodfor it. But only a few of the girls were in slacks. The rest wore stockings, earrings45, outfits46 muchlike her own. As at any gathering47 of young women at that time, three or four were noticeablypregnant. And most of the men were in suits and shirts and ties, like Patrick. Rose was relieved.
Not only did she want Patrick to fit into the party; she wanted him to accept the people there, to beconvinced they were not all freaks. When Patrick was a student he had taken her to concerts andplays and did not seem overly suspicious of the people who participated in them; indeed he ratherfavored these things, because they were detested48 by his family, and at that time—the time he choseRose—he was having a brief rebellion against his family. Once he and Rose had gone to Torontoand sat in the Chinese temple room at the Museum, looking at the frescoes49. Patrick told her howthey were brought in small pieces from Shansi province; he seemed quite proud of his knowledge,and at the same time disarmingly, uncharacteristically humble50, admitting he had got it all on atour. It was since he had gone to work that he had developed harsh opinions and deliveredwholesale condemnations. Modern Art was a Hoax51. Avant-garde plays were filthy39. Patrick had aspecial, mincing52, spitting way of saying avant- garde, making the words seem disgustinglypretentious. And so they were, Rose thought. In a way, she could see what he meant. She couldsee too many sides of things; Patrick had not that problem.
Except for some great periodic fights she was very docile53 with Patrick, she tried to keep infavor. It was not easy to do so. Even before they were married he had a habit of deliveringreproving lectures, in response to a simple question or observation. Sometimes in those days shewould ask him a question in the hope that he would show off some superior knowledge that shecould admire him for, but she was usually sorry she had asked, the answer was so long and hadsuch a scolding tone, and the knowledge wouldn’t be so superior, either. She did want to admirehim, and respect him; it seemed that was a leap she was always on the edge of taking.
Later she thought that she did respect Patrick, but not in the way he wanted to be respected, andshe did love him, not in the way he wanted to be loved. She didn’t know it then. She thought sheknew something about him, she thought she knew that he didn’t really want to be whatever he waszealously making himself into. That arrogance54 might be called respect; that highhandedness, love.
It didn’t do anything to make him happy.
A few men wore jeans and turtlenecks or sweatshirts. Clifford was one of them, all in black. Itwas the time of the beatniks in San Francisco. Jocelyn had called Rose up on the phone and readher Howl. Clifford’s skin looked very tanned, against the black, his hair was long for the time andalmost as light a color as unbleached cotton; his eyes too were very light in color, a bright gray-blue. He looked small and cat-like to Rose, rather effeminate; she hoped Patrick wouldn’t be tooput off by him.
There was beer to drink, and a wine punch. Jocelyn, who was a splendid cook, was stirring a potof jambalaya. Rose made a trip to the bathroom to remove herself from Patrick, who seemed towant to stick close to her (she thought he was being a watchdog; she forgot that he might be shy).
When she came out he had moved on. She drank three cups of punch in quick succession and wasintroduced to the woman who had written the play. To Rose’s surprise this woman was one of thedrabbest, least confident-looking people in the room.
“I liked your play,” Rose told her. As a matter of fact she had found it mystifying, and Patrickhad thought it was revolting. It seemed to be about a woman who ate her own children. Rose knewthat was symbolic56, but couldn’t quite figure out what it was symbolic of.
“Oh, but the production was terrible!” the woman said. In her embarrassment57, her excitementand eagerness to talk about her play, she sprayed Rose with punch. “They made it so literal. I wasafraid it would just come across as gruesome and I meant it to be quite delicate, I meant it to be sodifferent from the way they made it.” She started telling Rose everything that had gone wrong, themiscasting, the chopping of the most important—the crucial—lines. Rose felt flattered, listeningto these details, and tried inconspicuously to wipe away the spray.
“But you did see what I meant?” the woman said.
“Oh, yes!”
Clifford poured Rose another cup of punch and smiled at her. “Rose, you look delicious.”
Delicious seemed an odd word for Clifford to use. Perhaps he was drunk. Or perhaps, hatingparties altogether as Jocelyn said he did, he had taken on a role; he was the sort of man who told agirl she looked delicious. He might be adept59 at disguises, as Rose thought she herself was gettingto be. She went on talking to the writer and a man who taught English Literature of theSeventeenth Century. She too might have been poor and clever, radical and irreverent for allanybody could tell.
A man and a girl were embracing passionately60 in the narrow hall. Whenever anybody wanted toget through, this couple had to separate but they continued looking at each other, and did not evenclose their mouths. The sight of those wet open mouths made Rose shiver. She had never beenembraced like that in her life, never had her mouth opened like that. Patrick thought French-kissing was disgusting.
A little bald man named Cyril had stationed himself outside the bathroom door, and was kissingany girl who came out, saying, “Welcome, sweetheart, so glad you could come, so glad youwent.”
“Cyril is awful,” the woman writer said. “Cyril thinks he has to try to act like a poet. He can’tthink of anything to do but hang around the john and upset people. He thinks he’s outrageous62.”
“Is he a poet?” Rose said.
The lecturer in English Literature said, “He told me he had burned all his poems.”
“How flamboyant63 of him,” Rose said. She was delighted with herself for saying this, and withthem for laughing.
The lecturer began to think of Tom Swifties.
“I can never think of any of those things,” said the writer mourn fully27, “I care too much aboutlanguage.”
Loud voices were coming from the living room. Rose recognized Patrick’s voice, soaring overand subduing64 everyone else’s. She opened her mouth to say something, anything, to cover him up—she knew some disaster was on the way—but just then a tall, curly-haired, elated-looking mancame through the hall, pushing the passionate61 couple unceremoniously apart, holding up his handsfor attention.
“Listen to this,” he said to the whole kitchen. “There’s this guy in the living room you wouldn’tbelieve him. Listen.”
There must have been a conversation about Indians going on in the living room. Now Patrickhad taken it over.
“Take them away,” said Patrick. “Take them away from their parents as soon as they’re bornand put them in a civilized65 environment and educate them and they will turn out just as good aswhites any day.” No doubt he thought he was expressing liberal views. If they thought this wasamazing, they should have got him on the execution of the Rosenbergs or the trial of Alger Hiss66 orthe necessity for nuclear testing.
Some girl said mildly, “Well, you know, there is their own culture.” “Their culture is done for,”
said Patrick. “Kaput.” This was a word he was using a good deal right now. He could use somewords, clichés, editorial phrases—massive reappraisal was one of them— with such relish67 andnumbing authority that you would think he was their originator, or at least that the very fact of hisusing them gave them weight and luster68.
“They want to be civilized,” he said. “The smarter ones do.” “Well, perhaps they don’t considerthey’re exactly uncivilized,” said the girl with an icy demureness70 that was lost on Patrick.
“Some people need a push.”
The self-congratulatory tones, the ripe admonishment71, caused the man in the kitchen to throwup his hands, and wag his head in delight and disbelief. “This has got to be a Socred politician.”
As a matter of fact Patrick did vote Social Credit.
“Yes, well, like it or not,” he was saying, “they have to be dragged kicking and screaming intothe twentieth century.”
“Kicking and screaming?” someone repeated.
“Kicking and screaming into the twentieth century,” said Patrick, who never minded sayinganything again.
“What an interesting expression. So humane72 as well.”
Wouldn’t he understand now, that he was being cornered, being baited and laughed at? ButPatrick, being cornered, could only grow more thunderous. Rose could not listen any longer. Sheheaded for the back passage, which was full of all the boots, coats, bottles, tubs, toys, that Jocelynand Clifford had pitched out of the way for the party. Thank God it was empty of people. She wentout of the back door and stood burning and shivering in the cool wet night. Her feelings were asconfused as anybody’s can get. She was humiliated73, she was ashamed of Patrick. But she knewthat it was his style that most humiliated her, and that made her suspect something corrupt74 andfrivolous in herself. She was angry at those other people who were cleverer, or at least far quicker,than he was. She wanted to think badly of them. What did they care about Indians, really? Given achance to behave decently to an Indian, Patrick might just come out ahead of them. This was along shot, but she had to believe it. Patrick was a good person. His opinions were not good, but hewas. The core of Patrick, Rose believed, was simple, pure and trustworthy. But how was she to getat it, to reassure75 herself, much less reveal it to others?
She heard the back door close and was afraid that Jocelyn had come out looking for her. Jocelynwas not someone who could believe in Patrick’s core. She thought him stiff-necked, thick-skulled,and essentially77 silly.
It was not Jocelyn. It was Clifford. Rose didn’t want to have to say anything to him. Slightlydrunk as she was, woebegone, wet-faced from the rain, she looked at him without welcome. Buthe put his arms around her and rocked her.
“Oh Rose. Rose baby. Never mind. Rose.”
So this was Clifford.
For five minutes or so they were kissing, murmuring, shivering, pressing, touching78. Theyreturned to the party by the front door. Cyril was there. He said, “Hey, wow, where have you twobeen?”
“Walking in the rain,” said Clifford coolly. The same light possibly hostile voice in which hehad told Rose she looked delicious. The Patrick-baiting had stopped. Conversation had becomelooser, drunker, more irresponsible. Jocelyn was serving jambalaya. She went to the bathroom todry her hair and put lipstick79 on her rubbed-bare mouth. She was transformed, invulnerable. Thefirst person she met coming out was Patrick. She had a wish to make him happy. She didn’t carenow what he had said, or would say.
“I don’t think we’ve met, sir,” she said, in a tiny flirtatious80 voice she used with him sometimes,when they were feeling easy together. “But you may kiss my hand.”
“For crying out loud,” said Patrick heartily81, and he did squeeze her and kiss her, with a loudsmacking noise, on the cheek. He always smacked82 when he kissed. And his elbows alwaysmanaged to dig in somewhere and hurt her.
“Enjoying yourself?” Rose said.
“Not bad, not bad.”
During the rest of the evening, of course, she was playing the game of watching Clifford whilepretending not to watch him, and it seemed to her he was doing the same, and their eyes met, afew times, without expression, sending a perfectly83 clear message that rocked her on her feet. Shesaw him quite differently now. His body that had seemed small and tame now appeared to her lightand slippery and full of energy; he was like a lynx or a bobcat. He had his tan from skiing. Hewent up Seymour Mountain and skied. An expensive hobby, but one which Jocelyn felt could notbe denied him, because of the problems he had with his image. His masculine image, as a violinist,in this society. So Jocelyn said. Jocelyn had told Rose all about Clifford’s background: the arthriticfather, the small grocery store in a town in upstate New York, the poor tough neighborhood. Shehad talked about his problems as a child; the inappropriate talent, the grudging85 parents, the jeeringschoolmates. His childhood left him bitter, Jocelyn said. But Rose no longer believed that Jocelynhad the last word on Clifford.
THE PARTY WAS ON a Friday night. The phone rang the next morning, when Patrick and Annawere at the table eating eggs.
“How are you?” said Clifford.
“I wanted to phone you. I thought you might think I was just drunk or something. I wasn’t.”
“Oh, no.”
“I’ve thought about you all night. I thought about you before, too.” “Yes.” The kitchen wasdazzling. The whole scene in front of her, of Patrick and Anna at the table, the coffee pot withdribbles down the side, the jar of marmalade, was exploding with joy and possibility and danger.
Rose’s mouth was so dry she could hardly talk.
“It’s a lovely day,” she said. “Patrick and Anna and I might go up the mountain.”
“Patrick’s home?”
“Oh God. That was dumb of me. I forgot nobody else works Saturdays. I’m over here at arehearsal.”
“Can you pretend it’s somebody else? Pretend it’s Jocelyn.” “Sure.”
“I love you, Rose,” said Clifford, and hung up.
“Who was that?” said Patrick.
“Does she have to call when I’m home?”
“She forgot. Clifford’s at a rehearsal86 so she forgot other people aren’t working.” Rose delightedin saying Clifford’s name. Deceitfulness, concealment87, seemed to come marvelously easy to her;that might almost be a pleasure in itself.
“I didn’t realize they’d have to work Saturdays,” she said, to keep on the subject. “They mustwork terribly long hours.”
“They don’t work any longer hours than normal people, it’s just strung out differently. Hedoesn’t look capable of much work.”
“He’s supposed to be quite good. As a violinist.” “He looks like a jerk.”
“Do you think so?”
“Don’t you?”
“I guess I never considered him, really.”
JOCELYN PHONED on Monday and said she didn’t know why she gave parties, she was stillwading through the mess.
“Didn’t Clifford help clean it up?”
“You are joking. I hardly saw him all weekend. He rehearsed Saturday and played yesterday.
He says parties are my idea, I can deal with the aftermath. It’s true. I get these fits ofgregariousness, a party is the only cure. Patrick was interesting.”
“He’s quite a stunning88 type, really, isn’t he?”
“There are lots and lots like him. You just don’t get to meet them.” “Woe is me.”
This was just like any other conversation with Jocelyn. Their conversations, their friendship,could go on in the same way. Rose did not feel bound by any loyalty89 to Jocelyn because she haddivided Clifford. There was the Clifford Jocelyn knew, the same one she had always presented toRose; there was also the Clifford Rose knew, now. She thought Jocelyn could be mistaken abouthim. For instance, when she said his childhood had left him bitter. What Jocelyn called bitternessseemed to Rose something more complex and more ordinary; just the weariness, suppleness,deviousness, meanness, common to a class. Common to Clifford’s class, and Rose’s. Jocelyn hadbeen insulated in some ways, left stem and innocent. In some ways she was like Patrick.
From now on Rose did see Clifford and herself as being one sort of people, and Jocelyn andPatrick, though they seemed so different, and so disliked each other, as being another sort. Theywere whole and predictable. They took the lives they were leading absolutely seriously. Comparedto them, both Clifford and Rose were shifty pieces of business.
If Jocelyn fell in love with a married man, what would she do? Before she even touched hishand, she would probably call a conference. Clifford would be invited, and the man himself, andthe man’s wife, and very likely Jocelyn’s psychiatrist30. (In spite of her rejection90 of her familyJocelyn believed that going to a psychiatrist was something everybody should do at developing oradjusting stages of life and she went herself, once a week.) Jocelyn would consider theimplications; she would look things in the face. Never try to sneak91 her pleasure. She had neverlearned to sneak things. That was why it was unlikely that she would ever fall in love with anotherman. She was not greedy. And Patrick was not greedy either now, at least not for love.
If loving Patrick was recognizing something good, and guileless, at the bottom of him, being inlove with Clifford was something else altogether. Rose did not have to believe that Clifford wasgood, and certainly she knew he was not guileless. No revelation of his duplicity or heartlessness,towards people other than herself, could have mattered to her. What was she in love with, then,what did she want of him? She wanted tricks, a glittering secret, tender celebrations of lust69, aregular conflagration92 of adultery. All this after five minutes in the rain.
Six months or so after that party Rose lay awake all night. Patrick slept beside her in their stoneand cedar93 house in a suburb called Capilano Heights, on the side of Grouse94 Mountain. The nextnight it was arranged that Clifford would sleep beside her, in Powell River, where he was playingwith the touring orchestra. She could not believe that this would really happen. That is, she placedall her faith in the event, but could not fit it into the order of things that she knew.
During all these months Clifford and Rose had never gone to bed together. They had not madelove anywhere else, either. This was the situation: Jocelyn and Clifford did not own a car. Patrickand Rose owned a car, but Rose did not drive it. Clifford’s work did have the advantage ofirregular hours, but how was he to get to see Rose? Could he ride the bus across the Lions GateBridge, then walk up her suburban95 street in broad daylight, past the neighbors’ picture windows?
Could Rose hire a baby sitter, pretend she was going to see the dentist, take the bus over to town,meet Clifford in a restaurant, go with him to a hotel room? But they didn’t know which hotel to goto; they were afraid that without luggage they would be turned out on the street, or reported to theVice Squad96, made to sit in the Police Station while Jocelyn and Patrick were summoned to comeand get them. Also, they didn’t have enough money.
Rose had gone over to Vancouver, though, using the dentist excuse, and they had sat in a café,side by side in a black booth, kissing and fondling, right out in public in a place frequented byClifford’s students and fellow musicians; what a risk to take. On the bus going home Rose lookeddown her dress at the sweat blooming between her breasts and could have fainted at the splendorof herself, as well as at the thought of the risk undertaken. Another time, a very hot Augustafternoon, she waited in an alley97 behind the theater where Clifford was rehearsing, lurked98 in theshadows then grappled with him deliriously99, unsatisfactorily. They saw a door open, and slippedinside. There were boxes stacked all around. They were looking for some nesting spot when a manspoke to them.
“Can I do anything for you?”
They had entered the back storeroom of a shoe store. The man’s voice was icy; terrifying. TheVice Squad. The Police Station. Rose’s dress was undone101 to the waist.
Once they met in a park, where Rose often took Anna, and pushed her on the swings. They heldhands on a bench, under cover of Rose’s wide cotton skirt. They laced their fingers together andsqueezed painfully. Then Anna surprised them, coming up behind the bench and shouting, “Boo! Icaught you!” Clifford turned disastrously102 pale. On the way home Rose said to Anna, “That wasfunny when you jumped out behind the bench. I thought you were still on the swing.”
“I know,” said Anna.
“What did you mean, you’d caught us?”
“I caught you,” said Anna, and giggled103, in what seemed to Rose a disturbingly pert andknowledgeable way.
“Would you like a fudgsicle? I would!” Rose said gaily104, with thoughts of blackmail105 andbargains, Anna dredging this up for her psychiatrist in twenty years’ time. The episode made herfeel shaky and sick and she wondered if it had given Clifford a distaste for her. It had, but onlytemporarily.
AS SOON AS IT WAS LIGHT she got out of bed and went to look at the day, to see if it wouldbe good for flying. The sky was clear; no sign of the fog that often grounded planes at this time ofyear. Nobody but Clifford knew she was going to Powell River. They had been planning this forsix weeks, ever since they knew he was going on tour. Patrick thought she was going to Victoria,where she had a friend whom she had known at college. She had pretended, during the past fewweeks, to have been in touch with this friend again. She had said she would be back tomorrownight. Today was Saturday. Patrick was at home to look after Anna.
She went into the dining room to check the money she had saved from Family Allowancechecks. It was in the bottom of the silver muffin dish. Thirteen dollars. She meant to add that towhat Patrick gave her to get to Victoria. Patrick always gave her money when she asked, but hewanted to know how much and what for. Once when they were out walking she wanted to go intoa drugstore; she asked him for money and he said, with no more than customary sternness, “Whatfor?” and Rose began to cry, because she had been going to buy vaginal jelly. She might just aswell have laughed, and would have, now. Since she had fallen in love with Clifford, she neverquarreled with Patrick.
She figured out again the money she would need. The plane ticket, the money for the airportbus, from Vancouver, and for the bus or maybe it would have to be a taxi into Powell River,something left over for food and coffee. Clifford would pay for the hotel. The thought filled herwith sexual comfort, submissiveness, though she knew Jerome needed new glasses, Adam neededrubber boots. She thought of that neutral, smooth, generous bed, which already existed, waswaiting for them. Long ago when she was a young girl (she was now twenty-three) she had oftenthought of bland106 rented beds and locked doors, with such luxuriant hopes, and now she did again,though for a time in between, before and after she was married, the thought of anything connectedwith sex irritated her, rather in the way Modem107 Art irritated Patrick.
She walked around the house softly, planning her day as a series of actions. Take a bath, oil andpowder herself, put her diaphragm and jelly in her purse. Remember the money. Mascara, facecream, lipstick. She stood at the top of the two steps leading down into the living room. The wallsof the living room were moss green, the fireplace was white, the curtains and slipcovers had asilky pattern of gray and green and yellow leaves on a white background. On the mantel were twoWedgwood vases, white with a circlet of green leaves. Patrick was very fond of these vases.
Sometimes when he came home from work he went straight into the living room and shifted themaround a bit on the mantel, thinking their symmetrical position had been disturbed.
“Has anybody been fooling around with these vases?”
“Well of course. As soon as you leave for work I rush in and juggle108 them around.”
“I meant Anna. You don’t let her touch them, do you?”
Patrick didn’t like to hear her refer to the vases in any joking way.
He thought she didn’t appreciate the house. He didn’t know, but maybe could guess what shehad said to Jocelyn, the first time Jocelyn came here, and they were standing109 where Rose stoodnow, looking down at the living room.
“The department store heir’s dream of elegance110.”
At this treachery even Jocelyn looked abashed111. It was not exactly true. Patrick dreamed ofgetting much more elegant. And it was not true in the implication that it had all been Patrick’schoice, and that Rose had always held aloof112 from it. It had been Patrick’s choice, but there were alot of things she had liked at one time. She used to climb up and polish the glass drops of thedining-room chandelier, using a cloth dipped in water and baking soda113. She liked the chandelier;its drops had a blue or lilac cast. But people she admired would not have chandeliers in theirdining rooms. It was unlikely that they would have dining rooms. If they did, they would have thinwhite candles stuck into the branches of a black metal candleholder, made in Scandinavia. Or elsethey would have heavy candles in wine bottles, loaded with drippings of colored wax. The peopleshe admired were inevitably114 poorer than she was. It seemed a bad joke on her, after being poor allher life in a place where poverty was never anything to be proud of, that now she had to feelapologetic and embarrassed about the opposite condition — with someone like Jocelyn, forinstance, who could say middle-class prosperity so viciously and despisingly.
But if she hadn’t been exposed to other people, if she hadn’t learned from Jocelyn, would shestill have liked the house? No. She must have been souring on it, anyway. When people came tovisit for the first time Patrick always took them on a tour, pointing out the chandelier, the powderroom with concealed115 lighting116, by the front door, the walk- in closets and the louvered doorsopening on to the patio117. He was as proud of this house, as eager to call attention to its smalldistinctions, as if he, not Rose, had grown up poor. Rose had been uneasy about these tours fromthe start, and tagged along in silence, or made deprecating remarks which Patrick did not like.
After a while she stayed in the kitchen, but she could still hear Patrick’s voice and she knewbeforehand everything he would say. She knew that he would pull the dining-room curtains andpoint to the small illuminated118 fountain—Neptune with a fig-leaf—he had put in the garden, andthen he would say, “Now there is our answer to the suburban swimming-pool mania119!”
AFTER SHE BATHED she reached for a bottle of what she thought was baby oil, to pour over herbody. The clear liquid ran down over her breasts and belly120, stinging and burning. She looked at thelabel and saw that this was not baby oil at all, it was nail polish remover. She scrubbed it off,splashed herself with cold water, towelled desperately121, thinking of ruined skin, the hospital; grafts,scars, punishment.
Anna was scratching sleepily but urgently at the bathroom door. Rose had locked it, for thispreparation, though she didn’t usually lock it when she took a bath. She let Anna in.
“Your front is all red,” Anna said, as she hoisted122 herself on to the toilet. Rose found the baby oiland tried to cool herself with it. She used too much, and got oily spots on her new brassiere.
She had thought Clifford might write to her while he was touring, but he did not. He called herfrom Prince George, and was business-like.
“When do you get into Powell River?”
“Four o’clock.”
“Okay, take the bus or whatever they have into town. Have you ever been there?”
“Neither have I. I only know the name of our hotel. You can’t wait there.”
“How about the bus depot123? Every town has a bus depot.”
“Okay, the bus depot. I’ll pick you up there probably about five o’clock, and we can get youinto some other hotel. I hope to God there’s more than one. Okay then.”
He was pretending to the other members of the orchestra that he was spending the night withfriends in Powell River.
“I could go and hear you play,” Rose said. “Couldn’t I?”
“Well. Sure.”
“I’d be very inconspicuous. I’d sit at the back. I’ll disguise myself as an old lady. I love to hearyou play.”
“You don’t mind?”
“You still want me to come?”
“Oh, Rose.”
“I know. It’s just the way you sound.”
“I’m in the hotel lobby. They’re waiting for me. I’m supposed to be talking to Jocelyn.”
“Okay. I know. I’ll come.”
“Powell River. The bus depot. Five o’clock.”
This was different from their usual telephone conversations.
Usually they were plaintive124 and silly; or else they worked each other up so that they could nottalk at all.
“Heavy breathing there.”
“I know.”
“We’ll have to talk about something else.”
“What else is there?”
“Is it foggy where you are?”
“Yes. Is it foggy where you are too?”
“Yes. Can you hear the foghorn125?”
“Isn’t it a horrible sound?”
“I don’t mind it, really. I sort of like it.”
“Jocelyn doesn’t. You know how she describes it? She says it’s the sound of a cosmicboredom.”
They had at first avoided speaking of Jocelyn and Patrick at all. Then they spoke100 of them in acrisp practical way, as if they were adults, parents, to be outwitted. Now they could mention themalmost tenderly, admiringly, as if they were their children.
THERE WAS NO BUS DEPOT in Powell River. Rose got into the airport limousine126 with fourother passengers, all men, and told the driver she wanted to go to the bus depot.
“You know where that is?”
“No,” she said. Already she felt them all watching her. “Did you want to catch a bus?”
“Just wanted to go to the bus depot?”
“I planned to meet somebody there.”
“I didn’t even know there was a bus depot here,” said one of the passengers.
“There isn’t, that I know of,” said the driver. “Now there is a bus, it goes down to Vancouver inthe morning and it comes back at night, and it stops at the old men’s home. The old loggers’ home.
That’s where it stops. All I can do is take you there. Is that all right?”
Rose said it would be fine. Then she felt she had to go on explaining.
“My friend and I just arranged to meet there because we couldn’t think where else. We don’tknow Powell River at all and we just thought, every town has a bus depot!”
She was thinking that she shouldn’t have said my friend, she should have said my husband.
They were going to ask her what she and her friend were doing here if neither of them knew thetown.
“My friend is playing in the orchestra that’s giving a concert here tonight. She plays the violin.”
All looked away from her, as if that was what a lie deserved. She was trying to remember ifthere was a female violinist. What if they should ask her name?
The driver let her off in front of a long two-story wooden building with peeling paint.
“I guess you could go in the sunporch, there at the end. That’s where the bus picks them up,anyway.”
In the sunporch there was a pool table. Nobody was playing. Some old men were playingcheckers; others watched. Rose thought of explaining herself to them but decided127 not to; theyseemed mercifully uninterested. She was worn out by her explanations in the limousine.
It was ten past four by the sunporch clock. She thought she could put in the time till five bywalking around the town.
As soon as she went outside she noticed a bad smell, and became worried, thinking it mightcome from herself.
She got out the stick cologne she had bought in the Vancouver airport—spending money shecould not afford—and rubbed it on her wrists and neck. The smell persisted, and at last sherealized it came from the pulp128 mills. The town was difficult to walk around in because the streetswere so steep, and in many places there was no sidewalk. There was no place to loiter. Shethought people stared at her, recognizing a stranger. Some men in a car yelled at her. She saw herown reflection in store windows and understood that she looked as if she wanted to be stared atand yelled at. She was wearing black velvet4 toreador pants, a tight- fitting highnecked blacksweater and a beige jacket which she slung129 over her shoulder, though there was a chilly130 wind. Shewho had once chosen full skirts and soft colors, babyish angora sweaters, scalloped necklines, hadnow taken to wearing dramatic sexually advertising131 clothes. The new underwear she had on at thismoment was black lace and pink nylon. In the waiting room at the Vancouver airport she had doneher eyes with heavy mascara, black eyeliner, and silver eyeshadow; her lipstick was almost white.
All this was a fashion of those years and so looked less ghastly than it would seem later, but it wasalarming enough. The assurance with which she carried such a disguise fluctuated considerably132.
She would not have dared parade it in front of Patrick or Jocelyn. When she went to see Jocelynshe always wore her baggiest133 slacks and sweaters. Nevertheless when she opened the door Jocelynwould say, “Hello, Sexy,” in a tone of friendly scorn. Jocelyn herself had become spectacularlyunkempt. She dressed exclusively in old clothes of Clifford’s. Old pants that didn’t quite zip up onher because her stomach had never flattened134 out after Adam, and frayed135 white shirts Clifford hadonce worn for performances. Apparently136 Jocelyn thought the whole business of keeping yourfigure and wearing makeup137 and trying to look in any way seductive was sourly amusing, beneathcontempt; it was like vacuuming the curtains. She said that Clifford felt the same way. Clifford,reported Jocelyn, was attracted by the very absence of female artifice138 and trappings; he likedunshaved legs and hairy armpits and natural smells. Rose wondered if Clifford had really said this,and why. Out of pity, or comradeliness; or as a joke?
Rose found a public library and went in and looked at the titles of the books, but she could notpay attention. There was a fairly incapacitating though not unpleasant buzzing throughout herhead and body. At twenty to five she was back in the sunporch, waiting.
She was still waiting at ten past six. She had counted the money in her purse. A dollar and sixty-three cents. She could not go to a hotel. She did not think they would let her stay in the sunporchall night. There was nothing at all that she could do except pray that Clifford might still arrive. Shedid not believe he would. The schedule had been changed; he had been summoned home becauseone of the children was sick; he had broken his wrist and couldn’t play the violin; Powell Riverwas not a real place at all but a bad-smelling mirage139 where guilty travelers were trapped forpunishment. She wasn’t really surprised. She had made the jump that wasn’t to be made, and thiswas how she had landed.
Before the old men went in to supper she asked them if they knew of a concert being given thatnight in the high school auditorium141. They answered grudgingly142, no.
“Never heard of them giving no concerts here.”
She said that her husband was playing in the orchestra, it was on tour from Vancouver, she hadflown up to meet him; she was supposed to meet him here.
“Maybe got lost,” said one of the old men in what seemed to her a spiteful, knowing way.
“Maybe your husband got lost, heh? Husbands always getting lost!”
It was nearly dark out. This was October, and further north than Vancouver. She tried to thinkwhat to do. The only thing that occurred to her was to pretend to pass out, then claim loss ofmemory. Would Patrick ever believe that? She would have to say she had no idea what she wasdoing in Powell River. She would have to say she didn’t remember anything she had said in thelimousine, didn’t know anything about the orchestra. She would have to convince policemen anddoctors, be written about in the newspapers. Oh, where was Clifford, why had he abandoned her,could there have been an accident on the road? She thought she should destroy the piece of paperin her purse, on which she had written his instructions. She thought that she had better get rid ofher diaphragm as well.
She was going through her purse when a van parked outside. She thought it must be a policevan; she thought the old men must have phoned up and reported her as a suspicious character.
Clifford got out and came running up the sunporch steps. It took her a moment to recognizehim.
THEY HAD BEER and hamburgers in one of the hotels, a different hotel from the one where theorchestra was staying. Rose’s hands were shaking so that she slopped the beer. There had been arehearsal he hadn’t counted on, Clifford said. Then he had been about half an hour looking for thebus depot.
“I guess it wasn’t such a bright idea, the bus depot.”
Her hand was lying on the table. He wiped the beer off with a napkin, then put his own handover hers. She thought of this often, afterwards.
“We better get you checked in here.”
“Don’t we check in together?”
“Better if it’s just you.”
“Ever since I got here,” Rose said, “it has been so peculiar143. It has been so sinister144. I felteverybody knew.”
She started telling him, in what she hoped was an entertaining way, about the limousine driver,the other passengers, the old men in the Loggers’ Home. “It was such a relief when you showedup, such a terrible relief. That’s why I’m shaking.” She told him about her plan to fake amnesiaand the realization145 that she had better throw her diaphragm away. He laughed, but without delight,she thought. It seemed to her that when she spoke of the diaphragm his lips tightened146, in reproof147 ordistaste.
“But it’s lovely now,” she said hastily. This was the longest conversation they had ever had,face to face.
“It was just your guilt140-feelings,” he said. “Which are natural.”
He stroked her hand. She tried to rub her finger on his pulse, as they used to do. He let go. Halfan hour later, she was saying, “Is it all right if I still go to the concert?”
“Do you still want to?”
“What else is there to do?”
She shrugged149 as she said this. Her eyelids150 were lowered, her lips full and brooding. She wasdoing some sort of imitation, of Barbara Stanwyck perhaps, in similar circumstances. She didn’tintend to do an imitation, of course. She was trying to find some way to be so enticing151, so aloofand enticing, that she would make him change his mind.
“The thing is, I have to get the van back. I have to pick up the other guys.”
“I can walk. Tell me where it is.”
“Uphill from here, I’m afraid.”
“That won’t hurt me.”
“Rose. It’s much better this way, Rose. It really is.”
“If you say so.” She couldn’t manage another shrug148. She still thought there must be some wayto turn things around and start again. Start again; set right whatever she had said or done wrong;make none of this true. She had already made the mistake of asking what she had said or donewrong and he had said, nothing. Nothing. She had nothing to do with it, he said. It was being awayfrom home for a month that had made him see everything differently. Jocelyn. The children. Thedamage.
“It’s only mischief,” he said.
He had got his hair cut shorter than she had ever seen it. His tan had faded. Indeed, indeed, helooked as if he had shed a skin, and it was the skin that had hankered after hers. He was again thepale, and rather irritable152, but dutiful, young husband she had observed paying visits to Jocelyn inthe maternity ward.
“What is?”
“What we’re doing. It’s not some big necessary thing. It’s ordinary mischief.”
“You called me from Prince George.” Barbara Stanwyck had vanished, Rose heard herselfbegin to whine153.
“I know I did.” He spoke like a nagged154 husband.
“Did you feel like this then?”
“Yes and no. We’d made all the plans. Wouldn’t it have been worse if I’d told you on thephone?”
“What do you mean, mischief?”
“Oh, Rose.”
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean. If we went ahead with this, what good do you think it would doanybody? Rose? Really?”
“Us,” Rose said. “It would do us good.”
“No it wouldn’t. It would end up in one big mess.”
“Just once.”
“You said just once. You said we would have a memory instead of a dream.”
“Jesus. I said a lot of puke.”
He had said her tongue was like a little warmblooded snake, a pretty snake, and her nipples likeberries. He would not care to be reminded.
Overture155 to Ruslan and Ludmilla: Glinka
Serenade for Strings156: Tchaikovsky
Beethoven’s Sixth Symphony, the Pastoral:
First Movement
The Moldau: Smetana
William Tell Overture: Rossini
She could not hear any of this music for a long time without a specific attack of shame, that waslike a whole wall crumbling157 in on her, rubble158 choking her.
JUST BEFORE CLIFFORD LEFT on tour, Jocelyn had phoned Rose and said that her baby sittercould not come. It was the day she went to see her psychiatrist. Rose offered to come and lookafter Adam and Jerome. She had done this before. She made the long trip on three buses, takingAnna with her.
Jocelyn’s house was heated by an oil stove in the kitchen, and an enormous stone fireplace inthe small living room. The oil stove was covered with spill-marks; orange peel and coffee groundsand charred159 wood and ashes tumbled out of the fireplace. There was no basement and no clothesdryer. The weather was rainy, and the ceiling-racks and stand-up racks were draped with dampgraying sheets and diapers, hardening towels. There was no washing machine either. Jocelyn hadwashed those sheets in the bathtub.
“No washer or dryer160 but she’s going to a psychiatrist,” said Patrick, to whom Rose sometimesdisloyally reported what she knew he would like to hear.
“She must be crazy,” Rose said. She made him laugh.
But Patrick didn’t like her going to baby-sit.
“You’re certainly at her beck and call,” he said. “It’s a wonder you don’t go and scrub her floorsfor her.”
As a matter of fact, Rose did.
When Jocelyn was there, the disorder161 of the house had a certain willed and impressive quality.
When she was gone, it became unbearable162. Rose would go to work with a knife, scraping atancient crusts of Pablum on the kitchen chairs, scouring164 the coffee pot, wiping the floor. She didspare some time for investigation165. She went into the bedroom—she had to watch out for Jerome, aprecocious and irritating child—and looked at Clifford’s socks and underwear, all crumpled166 inwith Jocelyn’s old nursing brassieres and torn garter belts. She looked to see if he had a record onthe turntable, wondering if it would be something that would make him think of her.
Telemann. Not likely. But she played it, to hear what he had been hearing. She drank coffeefrom what she believed to be his dirty breakfast cup. She covered the casserole of Spanish ricefrom which he had taken his supper the night before. She sought out traces of his presence (hedidn’t use an electric razor, he used old-fashioned shaving soap in a wooden bowl), but shebelieved that his life in that house, Jocelyn’s house, was all pretense167, and waiting, like her own lifein Patrick’s house.
When Jocelyn came home Rose felt she ought to apologize for the cleaning she had done, andJocelyn, really wanting to talk about her fight with the psychiatrist who reminded her of hermother, agreed that it certainly was a cowardly mania, this thing Rose had about housecleaning,and she had better go to a psych herself, if she ever wanted to get rid of it. She was joking; butgoing home on the bus, with Anna cranky and no preparations made for Patrick’s supper, Rose didwonder why she always seemed to be on the wrong end of things, disapproved168 of by her ownneighbors because she didn’t pay enough attention to housework, and reproved by Jocelyn forbeing insufficiently169 tolerant of the natural chaos170 and refuse of life. She thought of love, toreconcile herself. She was loved, not in a dutiful, husbandly way but crazily, adulterously, asJocelyn and her neighbors were not. She used that to reconcile herself to all sorts of things: toPatrick, for instance, turning over in bed with an indulgent little clucking noise that meant she wasabsolved of all her failings for the moment, they were to make love.
THE SANE171 AND DECENT THINGS Clifford had said cut no ice with Rose at all. She saw thathe had betrayed her. Sanity172 and decency173 were never what she had asked of him. She watched him,in the auditorium of the Powell River High School. She watched him playing his violin, with asomber and attentive174 expression she had once seen directed towards herself. She did not see howshe could do without.
In the middle of the night she phoned him, from her hotel to his. “Please talk to me.”
“That’s okay,” said Clifford, after a moment’s silence. “That’s okay, Joss.”
He must have a roommate, whom the phone might have wakened. He was pretending to talk toJocelyn. Or else he was so sleepy he really thought she was Jocelyn.
“Clifford, it’s me.”
“That’s okay,” Clifford said. “Take it easy. Go to sleep.” He hung up the phone.
JOCELYN AND CLIFFORD are living in Toronto. They are not poor anymore. Clifford issuccessful. His name is seen on record jackets, heard on the radio. His face and more frequentlyhis hands have appeared on television as he labors175 at his violin. Jocelyn has dieted and becomeslender, has had her hair cut and styled; it is parted in the middle and curves away from her face,with a wing of pure white rising from each temple.
They live in a large brick house on the edge of a ravine. There are bird-feeders in the back yard.
They have installed a sauna. Clifford spends a good deal of time sitting there. He thinks that willkeep him from becoming arthritic84, like his father. Arthritis176 is his greatest fear.
Rose used to go to see them sometimes. She was living in the country by herself. She taught at acommunity college and liked to have a place to stay overnight when she came in to Toronto. Theyseemed glad to have her. They said she was their oldest friend.
One time when Rose was visiting them Jocelyn told a story about Adam. Adam had anapartment in the basement of the house. Jerome lived downtown, with his girlfriend. Adambrought his girls here.
“I was reading in the den9,” said Jocelyn, “when Clifford was out. I heard this girl, down inAdam’s apartment, saying no, no! The noise from his apartment comes straight up into the den.
We warned him about that, we thought he’d be embarrassed—”
“I didn’t think he’d be embarrassed,” said Clifford.
“But he just said, we should put on the record player. So, I kept hearing the poor unknown girlbleating and protesting, and I didn’t know what to do. I thought these situations are really new,there are no precedents177, are you supposed to stop your son from raping163 some girl if that’s whathe’s doing, right under your nose or at least under your feet? I went downstairs eventually and Istarted getting all the family skis out of the closet that backs on his bedroom, I stayed thereslamming those skis around, thinking I’d say I was going to polish them. It was July. Adam neversaid anything to me. I wish he’d move out.”
Rose told about how much money Patrick had and how he had married a sensible woman evenricher than he was, who had made a dazzling living room with mirrors and pale velvet and a wiresculpture like blasted bird cages. Patrick did not mind Modern Art any more.
“Of course it isn’t the same,” said Rose to Jocelyn, “it isn’t the same house. I wonder what shehas done with the Wedgwood vases.”
“Maybe she has a campy laundry room. She keeps the bleach55 in one and the detergent178 in theother.”
“They sit perfectly symmetrically on the shelf.”
But Rose had her old, old, twinge of guilt.
“Just the same, I like Patrick.”
Jocelyn said, “Why?”
“He’s nicer than most people.”
“Silly rot,” said Jocelyn. “And I bet he doesn’t like you.”
“That’s right,” Rose said. She started to tell them about her trip down on the bus. It was one ofthe times when she was not driving her car, because too many things were wrong with it and shecould not afford to get it fixed.
“The man in the seat across from me was telling me about how he used to drive big trucks. Hesaid we never seen trucks in this country like they got in the States.” She put on her countryaccent. “In the Yewnited States they got these special roads what they call turnpikes, and onlytrucks is allowed to go on them. They get serviced on these roads from one end of the country tothe other and so most people never sees them at all. They’re so big the cab is half the size of a busand they got a driver in there and an assistant driver and another driver and another assistant driverhavin a sleep. Toilet and kitchen and beds and all. They go eighty, ninety miles an hour, becausethere is never no speed limit on them turnpikes.”
“You are getting very weird,” said Clifford. “Living up there.” “Never mind the trucks,” Jocelynsaid. “Never mind the old mythology179. Clifford wants to leave me again.”
They settled down to drinking and talking about what Clifford and Jocelyn should do. This wasnot an unfamiliar180 conversation. What does Clifford really want? Does he really want not to bemarried to Jocelyn or does he want something unattainable? Is he going through a middle-agecrisis?
“Don’t be so banal,” Clifford said to Rose. She was the one who said middle-age crisis. “I’vebeen going through this ever since I was twenty-five. I’ve wanted out ever since I got in.”
“That is new, for Clifford to say that,” said Jocelyn. She went out to the kitchen to get somecheese and grapes. “For him to actually come out and say that,” she yelled from the kitchen. Roseavoided looking at Clifford, not because they had any secrets but because it seemed a courtesy toJocelyn not to look at each other while she was out of the room.
“What is happening now,” said Jocelyn, coming back with a platter of cheese and grapes in onehand and a bottle of gin in the other, “is that Clifford is wide open. He used to bitch and stew181 andsome other bilge would come out that had nothing to do with the real problem. Now he just comesout with it. The great blazing truth. It’s a total illumination.”
Rose had a bit of difficulty catching182 the tone. She felt as if living in the country had made herslow. Was Jocelyn’s talk a parody183, was she being sarcastic184? No. She was not.
“But then I go and deflate the truth for you,” said Clifford, grinning. He was drinking beer fromthe bottle. He thought beer was better for him than gin. “It’s absolutely true I’ve wanted out eversince I got in. And it’s also true that I wanted in, and I wanted to stay in. I wanted to be married toyou and I want to be married to you and I couldn’t stand being married to you and I can’t standbeing married to you. It’s a static contradiction.”
“It sounds like hell,” Rose said.
“I didn’t say that. I am just making the point that it is no middle-age crisis.”
“Well, maybe that was oversimplifying,” said Rose. Nevertheless, she said firmly, in thesensible, down-to-earth, countrified style she was adopting for the moment, all they were hearingabout was Clifford. What did Clifford really want, what did Clifford need? Did he need a studio,did he need a holiday, did he need to go to Europe by himself? What made him think, she said,that Jocelyn could be endlessly concerned about his welfare? Jocelyn was not his mother.
“And it’s your fault,” she said to Jocelyn, “for not telling him to put up or shut up. Never mindwhat he really wants. Get out or shut up. That’s all you need to say to him. Shut up or get out,” shesaid to Clifford with mock gruffness. “Excuse me for being so unsubtle. Or frankly185 hostile.”
She didn’t run any risk at all by sounding hostile, and she knew it. She would run a risk bybeing genteel and indifferent. The way she was talking now was a proof that she was their truefriend and took them seriously. And so she did, up to a point.
“She’s right, you fucking son-of-a-bitch,” said Jocelyn experimentally. “Shut up or get out.”
When Jocelyn called Rose on the phone, years ago, to read her the poem Howl, she was notable, in spite of her usual boldness of speech, to say the word fuck. She tried to force herself, thenshe said, “Oh, it’s stupid, but I can’t say it. I’m going to have to say eff. You’ll know what I meanwhen I say eff?”
“But she said it’s your fault,” said Clifford. “You want to be the mother. You want to be thegrownup. You want to be long-suffering.”
“Balls,” said Jocelyn. “Oh, maybe. Maybe, yes. Maybe I do.”
“I bet at school you were always latching186 on to those kids with the problems,” said Clifford withhis tender grin. “Those poor kids, the ones with acne or awful clothes or speech impediments. I betyou just persecuted187 those poor kids with friendliness188.”
Jocelyn picked up the cheese knife and waved it at him.
“You be careful. You haven’t got acne or a speech impediment. You are sickeningly good-looking. And talented. And lucky.”
“I have nearly insuperable problems coming to terms with the adult male role,” said Cliffordpriggishly. “The psych says so.”
“I don’t believe you. Psychs never say anything like nearly insuperable. And they don’t use thatjargon. And they don’t make those judgments189. I don’t believe you, Clifford.”
“Well, I don’t really go to the psych at all. I go to the dirty movies down on Yonge.”
Clifford went off to sit in the sauna.
Rose watched him leave the room. He was wearing jeans, and aT-shirt that said Just passin thru. His waist and hips190 were narrow as a twelve-year-old’s. Hisgray hair was cut in a very short brush cut, showing his skull76. Was this the way musicians woretheir hair nowadays, when politicians and accountants were bushy and bearded, or was itClifford’s own perversity191? His tan looked like pancake makeup, though it was probably all real.
There was something theatrical192 about him altogether, tight and glittery and taunting193. Somethingobscene about his skinniness and sweet, hard smile.
“Is he well?” she said to Jocelyn. “He’s terribly thin.”
“He wants to look like that. He eats yogurt and black bread.” “You can never split up,” Rosesaid, “because your house is too beautiful.” She stretched out on the hooked rug. The living roomhad white walls, thick white curtains, old pine furniture, large bright paintings, hooked rugs. On alow round table at her elbow was a bowl of polished stones for people to pick up and hold and runthrough their fingers. The stones came from Vancouver beaches, from Sandy Cove17 and EnglishBay and Kitsilano and Ambleside and Dundarave. Jerome and Adam had collected them a longtime ago.
JO CELYN AND CLIFFORD left British Columbia soon after Clifford returned from hisprovincial tour. They went to Montreal, then to Halifax, then to Toronto. They seemed hardly toremember Vancouver. Once they tried to think of the name of the street where they had lived andit was Rose who had to supply it for them. When Rose lived in Capilano Heights she used to spenda lot of time remembering the parts of Ontario where she had lived, being faithful, in a way, to thatearlier landscape. Now that she was living in Ontario she put the same sort of effort intoremembering things about Vancouver, puzzling to get details straight, that were in themselvesquite ordinary. For instance, she tried to remember just where you waited for the Pacific Stage bus,when you were going from North Vancouver to West Vancouver. She pictured herself getting onthat old green bus around one o’clock, say, on a spring day. Going to baby-sit for Jocelyn. Annawith her, in her yellow slicker and rainhat. Cold rain. The long, swampy194 stretch of land as youwent into West Vancouver. Where the shopping-centers and highrises are now. She could see thestreets, the houses, the old Safeway, St. Mawes Hotel, the thick closing-in of the woods, the placewhere you got off the bus at the little store. Black Cat cigarettes sign. Cedar dampness as youwalked in through the woods to Jocelyn’s house. Deadness of early afternoon. Nap time. Youngwomen drinking coffee looking out of rainy windows. Retired195 couples walking dogs. Pad of feeton the thick mold. Crocuses, early daffodils, the cold bulbs blooming. That profound difference ofthe air close to the sea, the inescapable dripping vegetation, the stillness. Anna pulling on herhand, Jocelyn’s brown wooden cottage ahead. Such a rich weight of apprehension196, complicationsdescending as she neared that house.
Other things she was not so keen on remembering.
She had wept on the plane, behind her sunglasses, all the way from Powell River. She wept,sitting in the waiting room at the Vancouver airport. She was not able to stop weeping and gohome to Patrick. A plainclothes policeman sat down beside her, opened his jacket to show her hisbadge, asked if there was anything he could do for her. Someone must have summoned him.
Terrified at being so conspicuous58, she fled to the Ladies’. She didn’t think to comfort herself witha drink, didn’t think of looking for the bar. She never went to bars then. She didn’t take atranquilizer, didn’t have any, didn’t know about them. Maybe there weren’t such things.
The suffering. What was it? It was all a waste, it reflected no credit. An entirely197 dishonorablegrief. All mashed198 pride and ridiculed199 fantasy. It was as if she had taken a hammer and deliberatelysmashed her big toe. That’s what she thinks sometimes. At other times she thinks it was necessary,it was the start of wrecks200 and changes, the start of being where she is now instead of in Patrick’shouse. Life making a gigantic fuss, as usual, for a small effect.
Patrick could not speak when she told him. He had no lecture prepared. He didn’t speak for along time but followed her around the house while she kept justifying201 herself, complaining. It wasas if he wanted her to go on talking, though he couldn’t credit what she was saying, because itwould be much worse if she stopped.
She didn’t tell him the whole truth. She said that she had “had an affair” with Clifford, and bythe telling gave herself a dim secondhand sort of comfort, which was pierced, presently, but notreally destroyed, by Patrick’s look and silence. It seemed ill-timed, unfair of him, to show such abare face, such an inappropriate undigestible chunk202 of grief.
Then the phone rang, and she thought it would be Clifford, experiencing a change of heart. Itwas not Clifford, it was a man she had met at Jocelyn’s party. He said he was directing a radioplay, and he needed a country girl. He remembered her accent.
Not Clifford.
She would rather not think of any of this. She prefers to see through metal window-frames ofdripping cedars203 and salmonberry bushes and the proliferating204 mortal greenery of the rain forestsome small views of lost daily life. Anna’s yellow slicker. The smoke from Jocelyn’s foul205 fire.
“DO YOU WANT TO SEE the junk I’ve been buying?” said Jocelyn, and took Rose upstairs. Sheshowed her an embroidered skirt and a deep-red satin blouse. A daffodil-colored silk pajama suit.
A long shapeless rough-woven dress from Ireland.
“I’m spending a fortune. What I would once have thought was a fortune. It took me so long. Ittook us both so long, just to be able to spend money. We could not bring ourselves to do it. Wedespised people who had color television. And you know something—color television is great!
We sit around now and say, what would we like? Maybe one of those little toaster-ovens for thecottage? Maybe I’d like a hair blower? All those things everybody else has known about for yearsbut we thought we were too good for. You know what we are, we say to each other? We’reConsumers! And it’s Okay!
“And not just paintings and records and books. We always knew they were okay. Color T.V.!
Hair dryers206! Waffle irons!”
“Remote-control birdcages!” Rose cried cheerfully.
“That’s the idea.”
“Heated towels.”
“Heated towel racks, dummy207! They’re lovely.”
“Electric carving208 knives, electric toothbrushes, electric toothpicks.” “Some of those things arenot as bad as they sound. Really they’re not.”
ANOTHER TIME when Rose came down Jocelyn and Clifford had a party. When everyone hadgone home the three of them, Jocelyn and Clifford and Rose, sat around on the living-room floor,all fairly drunk, and very comfortable. The party had gone well. Rose was feeling a remote andwistful lust; a memory of lust, maybe. Jocelyn said she didn’t want to go to bed.
“What can we do?” said Rose. “We shouldn’t drink any more.” “We could make love,” Cliffordsaid.
Jocelyn and Rose said, “Really?” at exactly the same time. Then they linked their little fingersand said, “Smoke goes up the chimney.”
Following which, Clifford removed their clothes. They didn’t shiver, it was warm in front of thefire. Clifford kept switching his attention nicely from one to the other. He got out of his ownclothes as well. Rose felt curious, disbelieving, hardly willing, slightly aroused and, at some levelshe was too sluggish209 to reach for, appalled210 and sad. Though Clifford paid preliminary homage211 tothem both, she was the one he finally made love to, rather quickly on the nubbly hooked rug.
Jocelyn seemed to hover212 above them making comforting noises of assent213.
The next morning Rose had to go out before Jocelyn and Clifford were awake. She had to godowntown on the subway. She found she was looking at men with that speculative214 hunger, thatcold and hurtful need, which for a while she had been free of. She began to get very angry. Shewas angry at Clifford and Jocelyn. She felt that they had made a fool of her, cheated her; shownher a glaring lack, that otherwise she would not have been aware of. She resolved never to seethem again and to write them a letter in which she would comment on their selfishness,obtuseness, and moral degeneracy. By the time she had the letter written to her own satisfaction, inher head, she was back in the country again and had calmed down. She decided not to write it.
Sometime later she decided to go on being friends with Clifford and Jocelyn, because she neededsuch friends occasionally, at that stage of her life.


1 mischief jDgxH     
  • Nobody took notice of the mischief of the matter. 没有人注意到这件事情所带来的危害。
  • He seems to intend mischief.看来他想捣蛋。
2 condemning 3c571b073a8d53beeff1e31a57d104c0     
v.(通常因道义上的原因而)谴责( condemn的现在分词 );宣判;宣布…不能使用;迫使…陷于不幸的境地
  • The government issued a statement condemning the killings. 政府发表声明谴责这些凶杀事件。
  • I concur with the speaker in condemning what has been done. 我同意发言者对所做的事加以谴责。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
3 ward LhbwY     
  • The hospital has a medical ward and a surgical ward.这家医院有内科病房和外科病房。
  • During the evening picnic,I'll carry a torch to ward off the bugs.傍晚野餐时,我要点根火把,抵挡蚊虫。
4 velvet 5gqyO     
  • This material feels like velvet.这料子摸起来像丝绒。
  • The new settlers wore the finest silk and velvet clothing.新来的移民穿着最华丽的丝绸和天鹅绒衣服。
5 broiled 8xgz4L     
  • They broiled turkey over a charcoal flame. 他们在木炭上烤火鸡。
  • The desert sun broiled the travelers in the caravan. 沙漠上空灼人的太阳把旅行队成员晒得浑身燥热。
6 adaptable vJDyI     
  • He is an adaptable man and will soon learn the new work.他是个适应性很强的人,很快就将学会这种工作。
  • The soil is adaptable to the growth of peanuts.这土壤适宜于花生的生长。
7 witty GMmz0     
  • Her witty remarks added a little salt to the conversation.她的妙语使谈话增添了一些风趣。
  • He scored a bull's-eye in their argument with that witty retort.在他们的辩论中他那一句机智的反驳击中了要害。
8 maternity kjbyx     
  • Women workers are entitled to maternity leave with full pay.女工产假期间工资照发。
  • Trainee nurses have to work for some weeks in maternity.受训的护士必须在产科病房工作数周。
9 den 5w9xk     
  • There is a big fox den on the back hill.后山有一个很大的狐狸窝。
  • The only way to catch tiger cubs is to go into tiger's den.不入虎穴焉得虎子。
10 affected TzUzg0     
  • She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
  • His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。
11 underneath VKRz2     
  • Working underneath the car is always a messy job.在汽车底下工作是件脏活。
  • She wore a coat with a dress underneath.她穿着一件大衣,里面套着一条连衣裙。
12 linoleum w0cxk     
  • They mislaid the linoleum.他们把油毡放错了地方。
  • Who will lay the linoleum?谁将铺设地板油毡?
13 slippers oiPzHV     
n. 拖鞋
  • a pair of slippers 一双拖鞋
  • He kicked his slippers off and dropped on to the bed. 他踢掉了拖鞋,倒在床上。
14 sloppy 1E3zO     
  • If you do such sloppy work again,I promise I'll fail you.要是下次作业你再马马虎虎,我话说在头里,可要给你打不及格了。
  • Mother constantly picked at him for being sloppy.母亲不断地批评他懒散。
15 insolent AbGzJ     
  • His insolent manner really got my blood up.他那傲慢的态度把我的肺都气炸了。
  • It was insolent of them to demand special treatment.他们要求给予特殊待遇,脸皮真厚。
16 longing 98bzd     
  • Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
  • His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。
17 cove 9Y8zA     
  • The shore line is wooded,olive-green,a pristine cove.岸边一带林木蓊郁,嫩绿一片,好一个山外的小海湾。
  • I saw two children were playing in a cove.我看到两个小孩正在一个小海湾里玩耍。
18 attachments da2fd5324f611f2b1d8b4fef9ae3179e     
n.(用电子邮件发送的)附件( attachment的名词复数 );附着;连接;附属物
  • The vacuum cleaner has four different attachments. 吸尘器有四个不同的附件。
  • It's an electric drill with a range of different attachments. 这是一个带有各种配件的电钻。
19 authoritative 6O3yU     
  • David speaks in an authoritative tone.大卫以命令的口吻说话。
  • Her smile was warm but authoritative.她的笑容很和蔼,同时又透着威严。
20 intimacies 9fa125f68d20eba1de1ddb9d215b31cd     
亲密( intimacy的名词复数 ); 密切; 亲昵的言行; 性行为
  • He is exchanging intimacies with his friends. 他正在和密友们亲切地交谈。
  • The stiffness of the meeting soon gave way before their popular manners and more diffused intimacies. 他们的洒脱不羁和亲密气氛的增加很快驱散了会场上的拘谨。
21 hysterical 7qUzmE     
  • He is hysterical at the sight of the photo.他一看到那张照片就异常激动。
  • His hysterical laughter made everybody stunned.他那歇斯底里的笑声使所有的人不知所措。
22 calves bb808da8ca944ebdbd9f1d2688237b0b     
n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子,腓;腿肚子( calf的名词复数 );牛犊;腓;小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 );(冰川)崩解;生(小牛等),产(犊);使(冰川)崩解
  • a cow suckling her calves 给小牛吃奶的母牛
  • The calves are grazed intensively during their first season. 小牛在生长的第一季里集中喂养。 来自《简明英汉词典》
23 strap 5GhzK     
  • She held onto a strap to steady herself.她抓住拉手吊带以便站稳。
  • The nurse will strap up your wound.护士会绑扎你的伤口。
24 bums bums     
n. 游荡者,流浪汉,懒鬼,闹饮,屁股 adj. 没有价值的,不灵光的,不合理的 vt. 令人失望,乞讨 vi. 混日子,以乞讨为生
  • The other guys are considered'sick" or "bums". 其他的人则被看成是“病态”或“废物”。
  • You'll never amount to anything, you good-for-nothing bums! 这班没出息的东西,一辈子也不会成器。
25 butting 040c106d50d62fd82f9f4419ebe99980     
  • When they were talking Mary kept butting in. 当他们在谈话时,玛丽老是插嘴。
  • A couple of goats are butting each other. 两只山羊在用角互相顶撞。
26 awfully MPkym     
  • Agriculture was awfully neglected in the past.过去农业遭到严重忽视。
  • I've been feeling awfully bad about it.对这我一直感到很难受。
27 fully Gfuzd     
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
28 dressing 1uOzJG     
  • Don't spend such a lot of time in dressing yourself.别花那么多时间来打扮自己。
  • The children enjoy dressing up in mother's old clothes.孩子们喜欢穿上妈妈旧时的衣服玩。
29 moss X6QzA     
  • Moss grows on a rock.苔藓生在石头上。
  • He was found asleep on a pillow of leaves and moss.有人看见他枕着树叶和苔藓睡着了。
30 psychiatrist F0qzf     
  • He went to a psychiatrist about his compulsive gambling.他去看精神科医生治疗不能自拔的赌瘾。
  • The psychiatrist corrected him gently.精神病医师彬彬有礼地纠正他。
31 plural c2WzP     
  • Most plural nouns in English end in's '.英语的复数名词多以s结尾。
  • Here you should use plural pronoun.这里你应该用复数代词。
32 wan np5yT     
(wide area network)广域网
  • The shared connection can be an Ethernet,wireless LAN,or wireless WAN connection.提供共享的网络连接可以是以太网、无线局域网或无线广域网。
33 plunged 06a599a54b33c9d941718dccc7739582     
v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降
  • The train derailed and plunged into the river. 火车脱轨栽进了河里。
  • She lost her balance and plunged 100 feet to her death. 她没有站稳,从100英尺的高处跌下摔死了。
34 random HT9xd     
  • The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
  • On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查,发现肉变质了。
35 ceramic lUsyc     
  • The order for ceramic tiles has been booked in.瓷砖的订单已登记下来了。
  • Some ceramic works of art are shown in this exhibition.这次展览会上展出了一些陶瓷艺术品。
36 embroidered StqztZ     
  • She embroidered flowers on the cushion covers. 她在这些靠垫套上绣了花。
  • She embroidered flowers on the front of the dress. 她在连衣裙的正面绣花。
37 smarminess 848a633cc5bd6c4540bcc9d29546bf42     
38 oozes 1d93b6d63593be8d249e2bb6d5dae2bd     
v.(浓液等)慢慢地冒出,渗出( ooze的第三人称单数 );使(液体)缓缓流出;(浓液)渗出,慢慢流出
  • The spring oozes out of a rock. 泉水从岩石中渗出。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Blood oozes from a wound. 血从伤口渗出。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
39 filthy ZgOzj     
  • The whole river has been fouled up with filthy waste from factories.整条河都被工厂的污秽废物污染了。
  • You really should throw out that filthy old sofa and get a new one.你真的应该扔掉那张肮脏的旧沙发,然后再去买张新的。
40 nurturing d35e8f9c6b6b0f1c54ced7de730a6241     
养育( nurture的现在分词 ); 培育; 滋长; 助长
  • These delicate plants need careful nurturing. 这些幼嫩的植物需要精心培育。
  • The modern conservatory is not an environment for nurturing plants. 这个现代化温室的环境不适合培育植物。
41 radical hA8zu     
  • The patient got a radical cure in the hospital.病人在医院得到了根治。
  • She is radical in her demands.她的要求十分偏激。
42 tact vqgwc     
  • She showed great tact in dealing with a tricky situation.她处理棘手的局面表现得十分老练。
  • Tact is a valuable commodity.圆滑老练是很有用处的。
43 expended 39b2ea06557590ef53e0148a487bc107     
v.花费( expend的过去式和过去分词 );使用(钱等)做某事;用光;耗尽
  • She expended all her efforts on the care of home and children. 她把所有精力都花在料理家务和照顾孩子上。
  • The enemy had expended all their ammunition. 敌人已耗尽所有的弹药。 来自《简明英汉词典》
44 fixed JsKzzj     
  • Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗?
  • Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定,我们就不应该随意改变。
45 earrings 9ukzSs     
n.耳环( earring的名词复数 );耳坠子
  • a pair of earrings 一对耳环
  • These earrings snap on with special fastener. 这付耳环是用特制的按扣扣上去的。 来自《简明英汉词典》
46 outfits ed01b85fb10ede2eb7d337e0ea2d0bb3     
n.全套装备( outfit的名词复数 );一套服装;集体;组织v.装备,配置设备,供给服装( outfit的第三人称单数 )
  • He jobbed out the contract to a number of small outfits. 他把承包工程分包给许多小单位。 来自辞典例句
  • Some cyclists carry repair outfits because they may have a puncture. 有些骑自行车的人带修理工具,因为他们车胎可能小孔。 来自辞典例句
47 gathering ChmxZ     
  • He called on Mr. White to speak at the gathering.他请怀特先生在集会上讲话。
  • He is on the wing gathering material for his novels.他正忙于为他的小说收集资料。
48 detested e34cc9ea05a83243e2c1ed4bd90db391     
v.憎恶,嫌恶,痛恨( detest的过去式和过去分词 )
  • They detested each other on sight. 他们互相看着就不顺眼。
  • The freethinker hated the formalist; the lover of liberty detested the disciplinarian. 自由思想者总是不喜欢拘泥形式者,爱好自由者总是憎恶清规戒律者。 来自辞典例句
49 frescoes e7dc820cf295bb1624a80b546e226207     
n.壁画( fresco的名词复数 );温壁画技法,湿壁画
  • The Dunhuang frescoes are gems of ancient Chinese art. 敦煌壁画是我国古代艺术中的瑰宝。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • The frescoes in these churches are magnificent. 这些教堂里的壁画富丽堂皇。 来自《简明英汉词典》
50 humble ddjzU     
  • In my humble opinion,he will win the election.依我拙见,他将在选举中获胜。
  • Defeat and failure make people humble.挫折与失败会使人谦卑。
51 hoax pcAxs     
  • They were the victims of a cruel hoax.他们是一个残忍恶作剧的受害者。
  • They hoax him out of his money.他们骗去他的钱。
52 mincing joAzXz     
  • She came to the park with mincing,and light footsteps.她轻移莲步来到了花园之中。
  • There is no use in mincing matters.掩饰事实是没有用的。
53 docile s8lyp     
  • Circus monkeys are trained to be very docile and obedient.马戏团的猴子训练得服服贴贴的。
  • He is a docile and well-behaved child.他是个温顺且彬彬有礼的孩子。
54 arrogance pNpyD     
  • His arrogance comes out in every speech he makes.他每次讲话都表现得骄傲自大。
  • Arrogance arrested his progress.骄傲阻碍了他的进步。
55 bleach Rtpz6     
  • These products don't bleach the hair.这些产品不会使头发变白。
  • Did you bleach this tablecloth?你把这块桌布漂白了吗?
56 symbolic ErgwS     
  • It is symbolic of the fighting spirit of modern womanhood.它象征着现代妇女的战斗精神。
  • The Christian ceremony of baptism is a symbolic act.基督教的洗礼仪式是一种象征性的做法。
57 embarrassment fj9z8     
  • She could have died away with embarrassment.她窘迫得要死。
  • Coughing at a concert can be a real embarrassment.在音乐会上咳嗽真会使人难堪。
58 conspicuous spszE     
  • It is conspicuous that smoking is harmful to health.很明显,抽烟对健康有害。
  • Its colouring makes it highly conspicuous.它的色彩使它非常惹人注目。
59 adept EJIyO     
  • When it comes to photography,I'm not an adept.要说照相,我不是内行。
  • He was highly adept at avoiding trouble.他十分善于避开麻烦。
60 passionately YmDzQ4     
  • She could hate as passionately as she could love. 她能恨得咬牙切齿,也能爱得一往情深。
  • He was passionately addicted to pop music. 他酷爱流行音乐。
61 passionate rLDxd     
  • He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
  • He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。
62 outrageous MvFyH     
  • Her outrageous behaviour at the party offended everyone.她在聚会上的无礼行为触怒了每一个人。
  • Charges for local telephone calls are particularly outrageous.本地电话资费贵得出奇。
63 flamboyant QjKxl     
  • His clothes were rather flamboyant for such a serious occasion.他的衣着在这种严肃场合太浮夸了。
  • The King's flamboyant lifestyle is well known.国王的奢华生活方式是人尽皆知的。
64 subduing be06c745969bb7007c5b30305d167a6d     
征服( subdue的现在分词 ); 克制; 制服; 色变暗
  • They are the probation subduing the heart to human joys. 它们不过是抑制情欲的一种考验。
  • Some believe that: is spiritual, mysterious and a very subduing colour. 有的认为:是精神,神秘色彩十分慑。
65 civilized UwRzDg     
  • Racism is abhorrent to a civilized society. 文明社会憎恶种族主义。
  • rising crime in our so-called civilized societies 在我们所谓文明社会中日益增多的犯罪行为
66 hiss 2yJy9     
  • We can hear the hiss of air escaping from a tire.我们能听到一只轮胎的嘶嘶漏气声。
  • Don't hiss at the speaker.不要嘘演讲人。
67 relish wBkzs     
  • I have no relish for pop music.我对流行音乐不感兴趣。
  • I relish the challenge of doing jobs that others turn down.我喜欢挑战别人拒绝做的工作。
68 luster n82z0     
  • His great books have added luster to the university where he teaches.他的巨著给他任教的大学增了光。
  • Mercerization enhances dyeability and luster of cotton materials.丝光处理扩大棉纤维的染色能力,增加纤维的光泽。
69 lust N8rz1     
  • He was filled with lust for power.他内心充满了对权力的渴望。
  • Sensing the explorer's lust for gold, the chief wisely presented gold ornaments as gifts.酋长觉察出探险者们垂涎黄金的欲念,就聪明地把金饰品作为礼物赠送给他们。
70 demureness b54213d1097915caed4be5f31718c8bb     
71 admonishment d2e4c740ad8edd7b7367449d956be1fa     
  • Moreover, but also has some taunts and the admonishment sound. 另外,还有一些嘲讽和规劝的声音。 来自互联网
  • He chains them together with the admonishment as for the first woman. 他把他们锁在一起想警告第一个女士那样警告了他们。 来自互联网
72 humane Uymy0     
  • Is it humane to kill animals for food?宰杀牲畜来吃合乎人道吗?
  • Their aim is for a more just and humane society.他们的目标是建立一个更加公正、博爱的社会。
73 humiliated 97211aab9c3dcd4f7c74e1101d555362     
  • Parents are humiliated if their children behave badly when guests are present. 子女在客人面前举止失当,父母也失体面。
  • He was ashamed and bitterly humiliated. 他感到羞耻,丢尽了面子。
74 corrupt 4zTxn     
  • The newspaper alleged the mayor's corrupt practices.那家报纸断言市长有舞弊行为。
  • This judge is corrupt.这个法官贪污。
75 reassure 9TgxW     
  • This seemed to reassure him and he continued more confidently.这似乎使他放心一点,于是他更有信心地继续说了下去。
  • The airline tried to reassure the customers that the planes were safe.航空公司尽力让乘客相信飞机是安全的。
76 skull CETyO     
  • The skull bones fuse between the ages of fifteen and twenty-five.头骨在15至25岁之间长合。
  • He fell out of the window and cracked his skull.他从窗子摔了出去,跌裂了颅骨。
77 essentially nntxw     
  • Really great men are essentially modest.真正的伟人大都很谦虚。
  • She is an essentially selfish person.她本质上是个自私自利的人。
78 touching sg6zQ9     
  • It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。
  • His letter was touching.他的信很感人。
79 lipstick o0zxg     
  • Taking out her lipstick,she began to paint her lips.她拿出口红,开始往嘴唇上抹。
  • Lipstick and hair conditioner are cosmetics.口红和护发素都是化妆品。
80 flirtatious M73yU     
  • a flirtatious young woman 卖弄风情的年轻女子
  • Her flirtatious manners are intended to attract. 她的轻浮举止是想引人注意。 来自《简明英汉词典》
81 heartily Ld3xp     
  • He ate heartily and went out to look for his horse.他痛快地吃了一顿,就出去找他的马。
  • The host seized my hand and shook it heartily.主人抓住我的手,热情地和我握手。
82 smacked bb7869468e11f63a1506d730c1d2219e     
拍,打,掴( smack的过去式和过去分词 )
  • He smacked his lips but did not utter a word. 他吧嗒两下嘴,一声也不言语。
  • She smacked a child's bottom. 她打孩子的屁股。
83 perfectly 8Mzxb     
  • The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
  • Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。
84 arthritic b5cc95cfe3db715aae328bc7f927f4c8     
  • Somehow the geriatric Voyager 2, arthritic and partially deaf, managed to reach Neptune. 得了关节炎而且局部变聋、衰老的“旅行者2号”最后总算抵达海王星。 来自百科语句
  • Femoral head ostectomy is a surgery performed on severely arthritic dogs. 股骨断截骨术’都是针对关节炎严重的狗狗的手术。 来自互联网
85 grudging grudging     
  • He felt a grudging respect for her talents as an organizer.他勉强地对她的组织才能表示尊重。
  • After a pause he added"sir."in a dilatory,grudging way.停了一会他才慢吞吞地、勉勉强强地加了一声“先生”。
86 rehearsal AVaxu     
  • I want to play you a recording of the rehearsal.我想给你放一下彩排的录像。
  • You can sharpen your skills with rehearsal.排练可以让技巧更加纯熟。
87 concealment AvYzx1     
n.隐藏, 掩盖,隐瞒
  • the concealment of crime 对罪行的隐瞒
  • Stay in concealment until the danger has passed. 把自己藏起来,待危险过去后再出来。
88 stunning NhGzDh     
  • His plays are distinguished only by their stunning mediocrity.他的戏剧与众不同之处就是平凡得出奇。
  • The finished effect was absolutely stunning.完工后的效果非常美。
89 loyalty gA9xu     
  • She told him the truth from a sense of loyalty.她告诉他真相是出于忠诚。
  • His loyalty to his friends was never in doubt.他对朋友的一片忠心从来没受到怀疑。
90 rejection FVpxp     
  • He decided not to approach her for fear of rejection.他因怕遭拒绝决定不再去找她。
  • The rejection plunged her into the dark depths of despair.遭到拒绝使她陷入了绝望的深渊。
91 sneak vr2yk     
  • He raised his spear and sneak forward.他提起长矛悄悄地前进。
  • I saw him sneak away from us.我看见他悄悄地从我们身边走开。
92 conflagration CnZyK     
  • A conflagration in 1947 reduced 90 percent of the houses to ashes.1947年的一场大火,使90%的房屋化为灰烬。
  • The light of that conflagration will fade away.这熊熊烈火会渐渐熄灭。
93 cedar 3rYz9     
  • The cedar was about five feet high and very shapely.那棵雪松约有五尺高,风姿优美。
  • She struck the snow from the branches of an old cedar with gray lichen.她把长有灰色地衣的老雪松树枝上的雪打了下来。
94 grouse Lycys     
  • They're shooting grouse up on the moors.他们在荒野射猎松鸡。
  • If you don't agree with me,please forget my grouse.如果你的看法不同,请不必介意我的牢骚之言。
95 suburban Usywk     
  • Suburban shopping centers were springing up all over America. 效区的商业中心在美国如雨后春笋般地兴起。
  • There's a lot of good things about suburban living.郊区生活是有许多优点。
96 squad 4G1zq     
  • The squad leader ordered the men to mark time.班长命令战士们原地踏步。
  • A squad is the smallest unit in an army.班是军队的最小构成单位。
97 alley Cx2zK     
  • We live in the same alley.我们住在同一条小巷里。
  • The blind alley ended in a brick wall.这条死胡同的尽头是砖墙。
98 lurked 99c07b25739e85120035a70192a2ec98     
  • The murderers lurked behind the trees. 谋杀者埋伏在树后。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Treachery lurked behind his smooth manners. 他圆滑姿态的后面潜伏着奸计。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
99 deliriously 4ab8d9a9d8b2c7dc425158ce598b8754     
  • He was talking deliriously. 他胡说一通。 来自互联网
  • Her answer made him deliriously happy. 她的回答令他高兴得神魂颠倒。 来自互联网
100 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
101 undone JfJz6l     
  • He left nothing undone that needed attention.所有需要注意的事他都注意到了。
102 disastrously YuHzaY     
  • Their profits began to spiral down disastrously. 他们的利润开始螺旋形地急剧下降。
  • The fit between the country's information needs and its information media has become disastrously disjointed. 全国的信息需求与信息传播媒介之间的配置,出现了严重的不协调。
103 giggled 72ecd6e6dbf913b285d28ec3ba1edb12     
v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 )
  • The girls giggled at the joke. 女孩子们让这笑话逗得咯咯笑。
  • The children giggled hysterically. 孩子们歇斯底里地傻笑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
104 gaily lfPzC     
  • The children sing gaily.孩子们欢唱着。
  • She waved goodbye very gaily.她欢快地挥手告别。
105 blackmail rRXyl     
  • She demanded $1000 blackmail from him.她向他敲诈了1000美元。
  • The journalist used blackmail to make the lawyer give him the documents.记者讹诈那名律师交给他文件。
106 bland dW1zi     
  • He eats bland food because of his stomach trouble.他因胃病而吃清淡的食物。
  • This soup is too bland for me.这汤我喝起来偏淡。
107 modem sEaxr     
  • Does your computer have a modem?你的电脑有调制解调器吗?
  • Provides a connection to your computer via a modem.通过调制解调器连接到计算机上。
108 juggle KaFzL     
  • If you juggle with your accounts,you'll get into trouble.你要是在帐目上做手脚,你可要遇到麻烦了。
  • She had to juggle her job and her children.她得同时兼顾工作和孩子。
109 standing 2hCzgo     
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
110 elegance QjPzj     
  • The furnishings in the room imparted an air of elegance.这个房间的家具带给这房间一种优雅的气氛。
  • John has been known for his sartorial elegance.约翰因为衣着讲究而出名。
111 abashed szJzyQ     
adj.窘迫的,尴尬的v.使羞愧,使局促,使窘迫( abash的过去式和过去分词 )
  • He glanced at Juliet accusingly and she looked suitably abashed. 他怪罪的一瞥,朱丽叶自然显得很窘。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The girl was abashed by the laughter of her classmates. 那小姑娘因同学的哄笑而局促不安。 来自《简明英汉词典》
112 aloof wxpzN     
  • Never stand aloof from the masses.千万不可脱离群众。
  • On the evening the girl kept herself timidly aloof from the crowd.这小女孩在晚会上一直胆怯地远离人群。
113 soda cr3ye     
  • She doesn't enjoy drinking chocolate soda.她不喜欢喝巧克力汽水。
  • I will freshen your drink with more soda and ice cubes.我给你的饮料重加一些苏打水和冰块。
114 inevitably x7axc     
  • In the way you go on,you are inevitably coming apart.照你们这样下去,毫无疑问是会散伙的。
  • Technological changes will inevitably lead to unemployment.技术变革必然会导致失业。
115 concealed 0v3zxG     
  • The paintings were concealed beneath a thick layer of plaster. 那些画被隐藏在厚厚的灰泥层下面。
  • I think he had a gun concealed about his person. 我认为他当时身上藏有一支枪。
116 lighting CpszPL     
  • The gas lamp gradually lost ground to electric lighting.煤气灯逐渐为电灯所代替。
  • The lighting in that restaurant is soft and romantic.那个餐馆照明柔和而且浪漫。
117 patio gSdzr     
  • Suddenly, the thought of my beautiful patio came to mind. I can be quiet out there,I thought.我又忽然想到家里漂亮的院子,我能够在这里宁静地呆会。
  • They had a barbecue on their patio on Sunday.星期天他们在院子里进行烧烤。
118 illuminated 98b351e9bc282af85e83e767e5ec76b8     
  • Floodlights illuminated the stadium. 泛光灯照亮了体育场。
  • the illuminated city at night 夜幕中万家灯火的城市
119 mania 9BWxu     
  • Football mania is sweeping the country.足球热正风靡全国。
  • Collecting small items can easily become a mania.收藏零星物品往往容易变成一种癖好。
120 belly QyKzLi     
  • The boss has a large belly.老板大腹便便。
  • His eyes are bigger than his belly.他眼馋肚饱。
121 desperately cu7znp     
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
122 hoisted d1dcc88c76ae7d9811db29181a2303df     
把…吊起,升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 )
  • He hoisted himself onto a high stool. 他抬身坐上了一张高凳子。
  • The sailors hoisted the cargo onto the deck. 水手们把货物吊到甲板上。
123 depot Rwax2     
  • The depot is only a few blocks from here.公共汽车站离这儿只有几个街区。
  • They leased the building as a depot.他们租用这栋大楼作仓库。
124 plaintive z2Xz1     
  • Her voice was small and plaintive.她的声音微弱而哀伤。
  • Somewhere in the audience an old woman's voice began plaintive wail.观众席里,一位老太太伤心地哭起来。
125 foghorn Yz6y2     
  • The foghorn boomed out its warning.雾角鸣声示警。
  • The ship foghorn boomed out.船上的浓雾号角发出呜呜声。
126 limousine B3NyJ     
  • A chauffeur opened the door of the limousine for the grand lady.司机为这个高贵的女士打开了豪华轿车的车门。
  • We arrived in fine style in a hired limousine.我们很气派地乘坐出租的豪华汽车到达那里。
127 decided lvqzZd     
  • This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
  • There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。
128 pulp Qt4y9     
  • The pulp of this watermelon is too spongy.这西瓜瓤儿太肉了。
  • The company manufactures pulp and paper products.这个公司制造纸浆和纸产品。
129 slung slung     
抛( sling的过去式和过去分词 ); 吊挂; 遣送; 押往
  • He slung the bag over his shoulder. 他把包一甩,挎在肩上。
  • He stood up and slung his gun over his shoulder. 他站起来把枪往肩上一背。
130 chilly pOfzl     
  • I feel chilly without a coat.我由于没有穿大衣而感到凉飕飕的。
  • I grew chilly when the fire went out.炉火熄灭后,寒气逼人。
131 advertising 1zjzi3     
n.广告业;广告活动 a.广告的;广告业务的
  • Can you give me any advice on getting into advertising? 你能指点我如何涉足广告业吗?
  • The advertising campaign is aimed primarily at young people. 这个广告宣传运动主要是针对年轻人的。
132 considerably 0YWyQ     
  • The economic situation has changed considerably.经济形势已发生了相当大的变化。
  • The gap has narrowed considerably.分歧大大缩小了。
133 baggiest 4e07423293d2179bfc23ea2521c0d4ae     
adj.宽松下垂的( baggy的最高级 );2。膨胀的
134 flattened 1d5d9fedd9ab44a19d9f30a0b81f79a8     
  • She flattened her nose and lips against the window. 她把鼻子和嘴唇紧贴着窗户。
  • I flattened myself against the wall to let them pass. 我身体紧靠着墙让他们通过。
135 frayed 1e0e4bcd33b0ae94b871e5e62db77425     
adj.磨损的v.(使布、绳等)磨损,磨破( fray的过去式和过去分词 )
  • His shirt was frayed. 他的衬衫穿破了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The argument frayed their nerves. 争辩使他们不快。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
136 apparently tMmyQ     
  • An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽,豁然开朗。
  • He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
137 makeup 4AXxO     
  • Those who failed the exam take a makeup exam.这次考试不及格的人必须参加补考。
  • Do you think her beauty could makeup for her stupidity?你认为她的美丽能弥补她的愚蠢吗?
138 artifice 3NxyI     
  • The use of mirrors in a room is an artifice to make the room look larger.利用镜子装饰房间是使房间显得大一点的巧妙办法。
  • He displayed a great deal of artifice in decorating his new house.他在布置新房子中表现出富有的技巧。
139 mirage LRqzB     
  • Perhaps we are all just chasing a mirage.也许我们都只是在追逐一个幻想。
  • Western liberalism was always a mirage.西方自由主义永远是一座海市蜃楼。
140 guilt 9e6xr     
  • She tried to cover up her guilt by lying.她企图用谎言掩饰自己的罪行。
  • Don't lay a guilt trip on your child about schoolwork.别因为功课责备孩子而使他觉得很内疚。
141 auditorium HO6yK     
  • The teacher gathered all the pupils in the auditorium.老师把全体同学集合在礼堂内。
  • The stage is thrust forward into the auditorium.舞台向前突出,伸入观众席。
142 grudgingly grudgingly     
  • He grudgingly acknowledged having made a mistake. 他勉强承认他做错了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Their parents unwillingly [grudgingly] consented to the marriage. 他们的父母无可奈何地应允了这门亲事。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
143 peculiar cinyo     
  • He walks in a peculiar fashion.他走路的样子很奇特。
  • He looked at me with a very peculiar expression.他用一种很奇怪的表情看着我。
144 sinister 6ETz6     
  • There is something sinister at the back of that series of crimes.在这一系列罪行背后有险恶的阴谋。
  • Their proposals are all worthless and designed out of sinister motives.他们的建议不仅一钱不值,而且包藏祸心。
145 realization nTwxS     
  • We shall gladly lend every effort in our power toward its realization.我们将乐意为它的实现而竭尽全力。
  • He came to the realization that he would never make a good teacher.他逐渐认识到自己永远不会成为好老师。
146 tightened bd3d8363419d9ff838bae0ba51722ee9     
收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)变紧; (使)绷紧; 加紧
  • The rope holding the boat suddenly tightened and broke. 系船的绳子突然绷断了。
  • His index finger tightened on the trigger but then relaxed again. 他的食指扣住扳机,然后又松开了。
147 reproof YBhz9     
  • A smart reproof is better than smooth deceit.严厉的责难胜过温和的欺骗。
  • He is impatient of reproof.他不能忍受指责。
148 shrug Ry3w5     
  • With a shrug,he went out of the room.他耸一下肩,走出了房间。
  • I admire the way she is able to shrug off unfair criticism.我很佩服她能对错误的批评意见不予理会。
149 shrugged 497904474a48f991a3d1961b0476ebce     
  • Sam shrugged and said nothing. 萨姆耸耸肩膀,什么也没说。
  • She shrugged, feigning nonchalance. 她耸耸肩,装出一副无所谓的样子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
150 eyelids 86ece0ca18a95664f58bda5de252f4e7     
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色
  • She was so tired, her eyelids were beginning to droop. 她太疲倦了,眼睑开始往下垂。
  • Her eyelids drooped as if she were on the verge of sleep. 她眼睑低垂好像快要睡着的样子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
151 enticing ctkzkh     
  • The offer was too enticing to refuse. 这提议太有诱惑力,使人难以拒绝。
  • Her neck was short but rounded and her arms plump and enticing. 她的脖子短,但浑圆可爱;两臂丰腴,也很动人。
152 irritable LRuzn     
  • He gets irritable when he's got toothache.他牙一疼就很容易发脾气。
  • Our teacher is an irritable old lady.She gets angry easily.我们的老师是位脾气急躁的老太太。她很容易生气。
153 whine VMNzc     
  • You are getting paid to think,not to whine.支付给你工资是让你思考而不是哀怨的。
  • The bullet hit a rock and rocketed with a sharp whine.子弹打在一块岩石上,一声尖厉的呼啸,跳飞开去。
154 nagged 0e6a01a7871f01856581b3cc2cd38ef5     
adj.经常遭责怪的;被压制的;感到厌烦的;被激怒的v.不断地挑剔或批评(某人)( nag的过去式和过去分词 );不断地烦扰或伤害(某人);无休止地抱怨;不断指责
  • The old woman nagged (at) her daughter-in-law all day long. 那老太婆一天到晚地挑剔儿媳妇的不是。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She nagged him all day long. 她一天到晚地说他。 来自《简明英汉词典》
155 overture F4Lza     
  • The opera was preceded by a short overture.这部歌剧开始前有一段简短的序曲。
  • His overture led to nothing.他的提议没有得到什么结果。
156 strings nh0zBe     
  • He sat on the bed,idly plucking the strings of his guitar.他坐在床上,随意地拨着吉他的弦。
  • She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。
157 crumbling Pyaxy     
  • an old house with crumbling plaster and a leaking roof 一所灰泥剥落、屋顶漏水的老房子
  • The boat was tied up alongside a crumbling limestone jetty. 这条船停泊在一个摇摇欲坠的石灰岩码头边。
158 rubble 8XjxP     
  • After the earthquake,it took months to clean up the rubble.地震后,花了数月才清理完瓦砾。
  • After the war many cities were full of rubble.战后许多城市到处可见颓垣残壁。
159 charred 2d03ad55412d225c25ff6ea41516c90b     
v.把…烧成炭( char的过去式);烧焦
  • the charred remains of a burnt-out car 被烧焦的轿车残骸
  • The intensity of the explosion is recorded on the charred tree trunks. 那些烧焦的树干表明爆炸的强烈。 来自《简明英汉词典》
160 dryer PrYxf     
  • He bought a dryer yesterday.他昨天买了一台干燥机。
  • There is a washer and a dryer in the basement.地下室里有洗衣机和烘干机。
161 disorder Et1x4     
  • When returning back,he discovered the room to be in disorder.回家后,他发现屋子里乱七八糟。
  • It contained a vast number of letters in great disorder.里面七零八落地装着许多信件。
162 unbearable alCwB     
  • It is unbearable to be always on thorns.老是处于焦虑不安的情况中是受不了的。
  • The more he thought of it the more unbearable it became.他越想越觉得无法忍受。
163 raping 4f9bdcc4468fbfd7a8114c83498f4f61     
v.以暴力夺取,强夺( rape的现在分词 );强奸
  • In response, Charles VI sent a punitive expedition to Brittany, raping and killing the populace. 作为报复,查理六世派军讨伐布列塔尼,奸淫杀戮平民。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The conquerors marched on, burning, killing, raping and plundering as they went. 征服者所到之处烧杀奸掠,无所不做。 来自互联网
164 scouring 02d824effe8b78d21ec133da3651c677     
  • The police are scouring the countryside for the escaped prisoners. 警察正在搜索整个乡村以捉拿逃犯。
  • This is called the scouring train in wool processing. 这被称为羊毛加工中的洗涤系列。
165 investigation MRKzq     
  • In an investigation,a new fact became known, which told against him.在调查中新发现了一件对他不利的事实。
  • He drew the conclusion by building on his own investigation.他根据自己的调查研究作出结论。
166 crumpled crumpled     
adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式
  • She crumpled the letter up into a ball and threw it on the fire. 她把那封信揉成一团扔进了火里。
  • She flattened out the crumpled letter on the desk. 她在写字台上把皱巴巴的信展平。
167 pretense yQYxi     
  • You can't keep up the pretense any longer.你无法继续伪装下去了。
  • Pretense invariably impresses only the pretender.弄虚作假欺骗不了真正的行家。
168 disapproved 3ee9b7bf3f16130a59cb22aafdea92d0     
v.不赞成( disapprove的过去式和过去分词 )
  • My parents disapproved of my marriage. 我父母不赞成我的婚事。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She disapproved of her son's indiscriminate television viewing. 她不赞成儿子不加选择地收看电视。 来自《简明英汉词典》
169 insufficiently ZqezDU     
  • Your insurance card is insufficiently stamped. 你的保险卡片未贴足印花。 来自辞典例句
  • Many of Britain's people are poorly dressed, badly housed, insufficiently nourished. 许多英国人衣着寒伧,居住简陋,营养不良。 来自互联网
170 chaos 7bZyz     
  • After the failure of electricity supply the city was in chaos.停电后,城市一片混乱。
  • The typhoon left chaos behind it.台风后一片混乱。
171 sane 9YZxB     
  • He was sane at the time of the murder.在凶杀案发生时他的神志是清醒的。
  • He is a very sane person.他是一个很有头脑的人。
172 sanity sCwzH     
  • I doubt the sanity of such a plan.我怀疑这个计划是否明智。
  • She managed to keep her sanity throughout the ordeal.在那场磨难中她始终保持神志正常。
173 decency Jxzxs     
  • His sense of decency and fair play made him refuse the offer.他的正直感和公平竞争意识使他拒绝了这一提议。
  • Your behaviour is an affront to public decency.你的行为有伤风化。
174 attentive pOKyB     
  • She was very attentive to her guests.她对客人招待得十分周到。
  • The speaker likes to have an attentive audience.演讲者喜欢注意力集中的听众。
175 labors 8e0b4ddc7de5679605be19f4398395e1     
v.努力争取(for)( labor的第三人称单数 );苦干;详细分析;(指引擎)缓慢而困难地运转
  • He was tiresome in contending for the value of his own labors. 他老为他自己劳动的价值而争强斗胜,令人生厌。 来自辞典例句
  • Farm labors used to hire themselves out for the summer. 农业劳动者夏季常去当雇工。 来自辞典例句
176 arthritis XeyyE     
  • Rheumatoid arthritis has also been linked with the virus.风湿性关节炎也与这种病毒有关。
  • He spent three months in the hospital with acute rheumatic arthritis.他患急性风湿性关节炎,在医院住了三个月。
177 precedents 822d1685d50ee9bc7c3ee15a208b4a7e     
引用单元; 范例( precedent的名词复数 ); 先前出现的事例; 前例; 先例
  • There is no lack of precedents in this connection. 不乏先例。
  • He copied after bad precedents. 他仿效恶例。
178 detergent dm1zW     
  • He recommended a new detergent to me.他向我推荐一种新的洗涤剂。
  • This detergent can remove stubborn stains.这种去污剂能去除难洗的污渍。
179 mythology I6zzV     
  • In Greek mythology,Zeus was the ruler of Gods and men.在希腊神话中,宙斯是众神和人类的统治者。
  • He is the hero of Greek mythology.他是希腊民间传说中的英雄。
180 unfamiliar uk6w4     
  • I am unfamiliar with the place and the people here.我在这儿人地生疏。
  • The man seemed unfamiliar to me.这人很面生。
181 stew 0GTz5     
  • The stew must be boiled up before serving.炖肉必须煮熟才能上桌。
  • There's no need to get in a stew.没有必要烦恼。
182 catching cwVztY     
  • There are those who think eczema is catching.有人就是认为湿疹会传染。
  • Enthusiasm is very catching.热情非常富有感染力。
183 parody N46zV     
  • The parody was just a form of teasing.那个拙劣的模仿只是一种揶揄。
  • North Korea looks like a grotesque parody of Mao's centrally controlled China,precisely the sort of system that Beijing has left behind.朝鲜看上去像是毛时代中央集权的中国的怪诞模仿,其体制恰恰是北京方面已经抛弃的。
184 sarcastic jCIzJ     
  • I squashed him with a sarcastic remark.我说了一句讽刺的话把他给镇住了。
  • She poked fun at people's shortcomings with sarcastic remarks.她冷嘲热讽地拿别人的缺点开玩笑。
185 frankly fsXzcf     
  • To speak frankly, I don't like the idea at all.老实说,我一点也不赞成这个主意。
  • Frankly speaking, I'm not opposed to reform.坦率地说,我不反对改革。
186 latching 2b71831177828e5f2b28e5aca264d966     
n.闭塞;闭锁;关闭;闭塞装置v.理解( latch的现在分词 );纠缠;用碰锁锁上(门等);附着(在某物上)
  • They have a reputation for latching onto all the latest crazes. 大家都知道他们对所有的最新时尚都有兴趣。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Sometimes we should tolerate people's mistakes instead of latching on to them. 有的时候我们要能够容错,不要揪着对方的失误不放。 来自互联网
187 persecuted 2daa49e8c0ac1d04bf9c3650a3d486f3     
(尤指宗教或政治信仰的)迫害(~sb. for sth.)( persecute的过去式和过去分词 ); 烦扰,困扰或骚扰某人
  • Throughout history, people have been persecuted for their religious beliefs. 人们因宗教信仰而受迫害的情况贯穿了整个历史。
  • Members of these sects are ruthlessly persecuted and suppressed. 这些教派的成员遭到了残酷的迫害和镇压。
188 friendliness nsHz8c     
  • Behind the mask of friendliness,I know he really dislikes me.在友善的面具后面,我知道他其实并不喜欢我。
  • His manner was a blend of friendliness and respect.他的态度友善且毕恭毕敬。
189 judgments 2a483d435ecb48acb69a6f4c4dd1a836     
判断( judgment的名词复数 ); 鉴定; 评价; 审判
  • A peculiar austerity marked his judgments of modern life. 他对现代生活的批评带着一种特殊的苛刻。
  • He is swift with his judgments. 他判断迅速。
190 hips f8c80f9a170ee6ab52ed1e87054f32d4     
abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯,耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 );[建筑学]屋脊;臀围(尺寸);臀部…的
  • She stood with her hands on her hips. 她双手叉腰站着。
  • They wiggled their hips to the sound of pop music. 他们随着流行音乐的声音摇晃着臀部。 来自《简明英汉词典》
191 perversity D3kzJ     
  • She's marrying him out of sheer perversity.她嫁给他纯粹是任性。
  • The best of us have a spice of perversity in us.在我们最出色的人身上都有任性的一面。
192 theatrical pIRzF     
  • The final scene was dismayingly lacking in theatrical effect.最后一场缺乏戏剧效果,叫人失望。
  • She always makes some theatrical gesture.她老在做些夸张的手势。
193 taunting ee4ff0e688e8f3c053c7fbb58609ef58     
嘲讽( taunt的现在分词 ); 嘲弄; 辱骂; 奚落
  • She wagged a finger under his nose in a taunting gesture. 她当着他的面嘲弄地摇晃着手指。
  • His taunting inclination subdued for a moment by the old man's grief and wildness. 老人的悲伤和狂乱使他那嘲弄的意图暂时收敛起来。
194 swampy YrRwC     
  • Malaria is still rampant in some swampy regions.疟疾在一些沼泽地区仍很猖獗。
  • An ox as grazing in a swampy meadow.一头牛在一块泥泞的草地上吃草。
195 retired Njhzyv     
  • The old man retired to the country for rest.这位老人下乡休息去了。
  • Many retired people take up gardening as a hobby.许多退休的人都以从事园艺为嗜好。
196 apprehension bNayw     
  • There were still areas of doubt and her apprehension grew.有些地方仍然存疑,于是她越来越担心。
  • She is a girl of weak apprehension.她是一个理解力很差的女孩。
197 entirely entirely     
  • The fire was entirely caused by their neglect of duty. 那场火灾完全是由于他们失职而引起的。
  • His life was entirely given up to the educational work. 他的一生统统献给了教育工作。
198 mashed Jotz5Y     
  • two scoops of mashed potato 两勺土豆泥
  • Just one scoop of mashed potato for me, please. 请给我盛一勺土豆泥。
199 ridiculed 81e89e8e17fcf40595c6663a61115a91     
v.嘲笑,嘲弄,奚落( ridicule的过去式和过去分词 )
  • Biosphere 2 was ultimately ridiculed as a research debade, as exfravagant pseudoscience. 生物圈2号最终被讥讽为科研上的大失败,代价是昂贵的伪科学。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She ridiculed his insatiable greed. 她嘲笑他的贪得无厌。 来自《简明英汉词典》
200 wrecks 8d69da0aee97ed3f7157e10ff9dbd4ae     
n.沉船( wreck的名词复数 );(事故中)遭严重毁坏的汽车(或飞机等);(身体或精神上)受到严重损伤的人;状况非常糟糕的车辆(或建筑物等)v.毁坏[毁灭]某物( wreck的第三人称单数 );使(船舶)失事,使遇难,使下沉
  • The shores are strewn with wrecks. 海岸上满布失事船只的残骸。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • My next care was to get together the wrecks of my fortune. 第二件我所关心的事就是集聚破产后的余财。 来自辞典例句
201 justifying 5347bd663b20240e91345e662973de7a     
证明…有理( justify的现在分词 ); 为…辩护; 对…作出解释; 为…辩解(或辩护)
  • He admitted it without justifying it. 他不加辩解地承认这个想法。
  • The fellow-travellers'service usually consisted of justifying all the tergiversations of Soviet intenal and foreign policy. 同路人的服务通常包括对苏联国内外政策中一切互相矛盾之处进行辩护。
202 chunk Kqwzz     
  • They had to be careful of floating chunks of ice.他们必须当心大块浮冰。
  • The company owns a chunk of farmland near Gatwick Airport.该公司拥有盖特威克机场周边的大片农田。
203 cedars 4de160ce89706c12228684f5ca667df6     
雪松,西洋杉( cedar的名词复数 )
  • The old cedars were badly damaged in the storm. 风暴严重损害了古老的雪松。
  • Open thy doors, O Lebanon, that the fire may devour thy cedars. 1黎巴嫩哪,开开你的门,任火烧灭你的香柏树。
204 proliferating 45e10aecc1d3b089f65dafcc7343579e     
激增( proliferate的现在分词 ); (迅速)繁殖; 增生; 扩散
  • Computerized data bases are proliferating fast. 计算机化的数据库正在激增。
  • Crown galls are cancerous growths composed of disorganized and proliferating plant cells. 冠瘿是无组织的正在不断增殖的植物细胞所组成的癌状物。
205 foul Sfnzy     
  • Take off those foul clothes and let me wash them.脱下那些脏衣服让我洗一洗。
  • What a foul day it is!多么恶劣的天气!
206 dryers 5c56a853f6c2d82daa52b15f68e1b2ac     
n.干燥机( dryer的名词复数 );干燥器;干燥剂;干燥工
  • Men also have hair dryers and, if they suffer from baldness, they use a growth stimulator, buy hairpieces, or have hair transplanted from the hirsute part of the scalp to the bare areas. 男士也有他们的吹风机,而且如果他们秃顶的话,还会用毛发生长剂、买假发,或者把头发从密集的地方移植到谢顶的地方。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The dryers can be automated. 干燥机可以自动化作业。 来自辞典例句
207 dummy Jrgx7     
  • The police suspect that the device is not a real bomb but a dummy.警方怀疑那个装置不是真炸弹,只是一个假货。
  • The boys played soldier with dummy swords made of wood.男孩们用木头做的假木剑玩打仗游戏。
208 carving 5wezxw     
  • All the furniture in the room had much carving.房间里所有的家具上都有许多雕刻。
  • He acquired the craft of wood carving in his native town.他在老家学会了木雕手艺。
209 sluggish VEgzS     
  • This humid heat makes you feel rather sluggish.这种湿热的天气使人感到懒洋洋的。
  • Circulation is much more sluggish in the feet than in the hands.脚部的循环比手部的循环缓慢得多。
210 appalled ec524998aec3c30241ea748ac1e5dbba     
v.使惊骇,使充满恐惧( appall的过去式和过去分词)adj.惊骇的;丧胆的
  • The brutality of the crime has appalled the public. 罪行之残暴使公众大为震惊。
  • They were appalled by the reports of the nuclear war. 他们被核战争的报道吓坏了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
211 homage eQZzK     
  • We pay homage to the genius of Shakespeare.我们对莎士比亚的天才表示敬仰。
  • The soldiers swore to pay their homage to the Queen.士兵们宣誓效忠于女王陛下。
212 hover FQSzM     
  • You don't hover round the table.你不要围着桌子走来走去。
  • A plane is hover on our house.有一架飞机在我们的房子上盘旋。
213 assent Hv6zL     
  • I cannot assent to what you ask.我不能应允你的要求。
  • The new bill passed by Parliament has received Royal Assent.议会所通过的新方案已获国王批准。
214 speculative uvjwd     
  • Much of our information is speculative.我们的许多信息是带推测性的。
  • The report is highly speculative and should be ignored.那个报道推测的成分很大,不应理会。


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