Now Robert Jordan lay with the girl and he watched time passing on his wrist. It went slowly, almost imperceptibly, for it was a small watch and he could not see the second hand. But as he watched the minute hand he found he could almost check its motion with his concentration. The girl's head was under his chin and when he moved his head to look at the watch he felt the cropped head against his cheek, and it was as soft but as alive and silkily rolling as when a marten's fur rises under the caress1 of your hand when you spread the trap jaws2 open and lift the marten clear and, holding it, stroke the fur smooth. His throat swelled3 when his cheek moved against Maria's hair and there was a hollow aching from his throat all through him as he held his arms around her; his head dropped, his eyes close to the watch where the lance-pointed, luminous4 splinter moved slowly up the left face of the dial. He could see its movement clearly and steadily5 now and he held Maria close now to slow it. He did not want to wake her but he could not leave her alone now in this last time and he put his lips behind her ear and moved them up along her neck, feeling the smooth skin and the soft touch of her hair on them. He could see the hand moving on the watch and he held her tighter and ran the tip of his tongue along her cheek and onto the lobe6 of her ear and along the lovely convolutions to the sweet, firm rim7 at the top, and his tongue was trembling. He felt the trembling run through all of the hollow aching and he saw the hand of the watch now mounting in sharp angle toward the top where the hour was. Now while she still slept he turned her head and put his lips to hers. They lay there, just touching8 lightly against the sleep-firm mouth and he swung them softly across it, feeling them brush lightly. He turned himself toward her and he felt her shiver along the long, light lovely body and then she sighed, sleeping, and then she, still sleeping, held him too and then, unsleeping, her lips were against his firm and hard and pressing and he said, "But the pain."
And she said, "Nay9, there is no pain."
"Rabbit."
"Nay, speak not."
"My rabbit."
"Speak not. Speak not."
Then they were together so that as the hand on the watch moved, unseen now, they knew that nothing could ever happen to the one that did not happen to the othei that no other thing could happen more than this; that this was all and always; this was what had been and now and whatever was to come. This, that they were not to have, they were having. They were having now and before and always and now and now and now. Oh, now, now, now, the only now, and above all now, and there is no other now but thou now and now is thy prophet. Now and forever now. Come now, now, for there is no now but now. Yes, now. Now, please now, only now, not anything else only this now, and where are you and where am I and where is the other one, and not why, not ever why, only this now; and on and always please then always now, always now, for now always one now; one only one, there is no other one but one now, one, going now, rising now, sailing now, leaving now, wheeling now, soaring now, away now, all the way now, all of all the way now; one and one is one, is one, is one, is one, is still one, is still one, is one descendingly, is one softly, is one longingly10, is one kindly11, is one happily, is one in goodness, is one to cherish, is one now on earth with elbows against the cut and slept-on branches of the pine tree with the smell of the pine boughs12 and the night; to earth conclusively13 now, and with the morning of the day to come. Then he said, for the other was only in his head and he had said nothing, "Oh, Maria, I love thee and I thank thee for this."
Maria said, "Do not speak. It is better if we do not speak."
"I must tell thee for it is a great thing."
"Nay."
"Rabbit--"
But she held him tight and turned her head away and he asked softly, "Is it pain, rabbit?"
"Nay," she said. "It is that I am thankful too to have been another time in _la gloria_."
Then afterwards they lay quiet, side by side, all length of ankle, thigh14, hip15 and shoulder touching, Robert Jordan now with the watch where he could see it again and Maria said, "We have had much good fortune."
"Yes," he said, "we are people of much luck."
"There is not time to sleep?"
"No," he said, "it starts soon now."
"Then if we must rise let us go to get something to eat."
"All right."
"Thou. Thou art not worried about anything?"
"No."
"Truly?"
"No. Not now."
"But thou hast worried before?"
"For a while."
"Is it aught I can help?"
"Nay," he said. "You have helped enough."
"That? That was for me."
"That was for us both," he said. "No one is there alone. Come, rabbit, let us dress."
But his mind, that was his best companion, was thinking La Gloria. She said La Gloria. It has nothing to do with glory nor La Gloire that the French write and speak about. It is the thing that is in the Cante Hondo and in the Saetas. It is in Greco and in San Juan de la Cruz, of course, and in the others. I am no mystic, but to deny it is as ignorant as though you denied the telephone or that the earth revolves16 around the sun or that there are other planets than this.
How little we know of what there is to know. I wish that I were going to live a long time instead of going to die today because I have learned much about life in these four days; more, I think, than in all the other time. I'd like to be an old man and to really know. I wonder if you keep on learning or if there is only a certain amount each man can understand. I thought I knew about so many things that I know nothing of. I wish there was more time.
"You taught me a lot, _guapa_," he said in English.
"What did you say?"
"I have learned much from thee."
"_Qu?va_," she said, "it is thou who art educated."
Educated, he thought. I have the very smallest beginnings of an education. The very small beginnings. If I die on this day it is a waste because I know a few things now. I wonder if you only learn them now because you are oversensitized because of the shortness of the time? There is no such thing as a shortness of time, though. You should have sense enough to know that too. I have been all my life in these hills since I have been here. Anselmo is my oldest friend. I know him better than I know Charles, than I know Chub, than I know Guy, than I know Mike, and I know them well. Agust璯, with his vile17 mouth, is my brother, and I never had a brother. Maria is my true love and my wife. I never had a true love. I never had a wife. She is also my sister, and I never had a sister, and my daughter, and I never will have a daughter. I hate to leave a thing that is so good. He finished tying his rope-soled shoes.
"I find life very interesting," he said to Maria. She was sitting beside him on the robe, her hands clasped around her ankles. Some one moved the blanket aside from the entrance to the cave and they both saw the light. It was night still and here was no promise of morning except that as he looked up through the pines he saw how low the stars had swung. The morning would be coming fast now in this month.
"Roberto," Maria said.
"Yes, _guapa_."
"In this of today we will be together, will we not?"
"After the start, yes."
"Not at the start?"
"No. Thou wilt18 be with the horses."
"I cannot be with thee?"
"No. I have work that only I can do and I would worry about thee."
"But you will come fast when it is done?"
"Very fast," he said and grinned in the dark. "Come, _guapa_, let us go and eat."
"And thy robe?"
"Roll it up, if it pleases thee."
"It pleases me," she said.
"I will help thee."
"Nay. Let me do it alone."
She knelt to spread and roll the robe, then changed her mind and stood up and shook it so it flapped. Then she knelt down again to straighten it and roll it. Robert Jordan picked up the two packs, holding them carefully so that nothing would spill from the slits19 in them, and walked over through the pines to the cave mouth where the smoky blanket hung. It was ten minutes to three by his watch when he pushed the blanket aside with his elbow and went into the cave.
罗伯特 乔丹和姑娘一起躺着，他注视着手表，等时间过去。时闾缓慢地、几乎难以觉察地在过去,因为那是只小表，他看不到秒针-但是，他注视着分针，全抻贯注地看着,竟发现简直能觉察到它在走动。姑娘的头贴在他下巴下，他转过头来看表，感觉到她头上的頰发擦着他的脸颊，这短发象貂皮一般柔软，富有活力，滑溜地起伏，正如你松开夹住貂的捕醫机，解脱了它，抱在手里抚换它，光滑的毛抚平以后又翘起来。他脸頰擦藿玛丽亚的头发，喉咙哽塞起来了。他双臂搂着1喉头产生“种落寞的痈楚之感，贯穿着全身;他垂下了头，眼睛凑近表面，只见又尖又亮的针在表面的左半部朝上缓缓移动。他能看清楚它不停地移动着,他这时搂紧了玛丽亚，想延迟时间的进程，他不想弄醒她，但又不能放过这最后一次机会，让她一个人待着,于是他把嘴唇贴在她耳朵后,顒着她的脖子朝上移，感到皮肤滑溜溜的,上面的汗毛怪柔软的。他看到手表上的针在走动，于是更紧地搂着她,舌尖沿着她的脸颊一直移到她耳垂上,沿着那曲线优美的耳轮直移到可爱而饱满的顶部边缘，他的舌头在颤抖。他感觉到这一阵颤抖贯穿了那落寞的痛楚之感，他看到表上的分针朝上移，和时针成了一个小锐角,快到点了。她仍没雇来，于是他转过她的头，把自己的嘴唇贴上去。他们躺在那儿，他只是轻柔地吻着她在睡梦中的丰满的嘴唇，他温柔地在上面吻着，感到嘴蹲取嘴蹲微微地摩擦着，他转身向着她，感到她那颀长而轻盈可爱的身体在麵抖，接着她在睡梦中喘了口气，接着还是在睡梦中也搂住了他,接着她醒过来’嘴唇使劲而着力地贴上他的嘴,于是他说,“你要感到痛的。〃她说，“不，不痛。”“兔子，“ 不，别说话。”
"我的兔子。” 。”
“别说话。别说话。”
于是他们合而为一了，这样，尽管表上的针仍在走动，但是没人看了，这时候他们知道，一个人没有的感受另一个也不会有,此外再没别的感觉了逾是永恒的过去、现在、将来，都是这样。他们现在正在享受的是他们将来不可能再享受的事。他们现在享有，过去享有,一直享有，伹主要是现在，现在，现在，舸，现在,现在，现在，唯有现在，首先是现在，除了你这个现在,没有别的现在，而现在是你的先知。。现在,永远是现在。来吧,现在,因为除了现在只有现在。是軻，现在。现在来吧，只有现在，除了现在什么都不存在，你在这儿，我在这儿，一个在这儿,另一个也在这儿，别问为什么，永远别问，只有这现在；一直下去，但愿永远是现在，永远是现在,因为永远只有一个现在 只有现在,只有一个，除了一个现在没有别的，一个，现在在进行，在升腾，在漂流，在离去，在盘旋，在翱翔，在消失，一直在消失,不停地消失；一个加一个等于一个,一个,一个,一个,还是-个，还是一个，下沉地在一起，温柔地在“起，渴望地在一起，亲切地在一起，幸福地在一起，畚良地在一起，宠爱地在一起,一起伏在土地上，胳膊肘支在砍下来当床睡的松枝上，散发着松枝和夜的气息；现在终于回到了大地上，清臊即将来临。这些想法只在他的头脑里，他一点也没透露出来，他说的是:“啊，玛丽亚,我爱你，我为这感谢你。”
①乔丹在这里套用了伊斯兰教创始人穆罕默德的名言。” 除了安拉没有别的神，而穆罕默德是他的先知。”
玛丽亚说，“别说话。我们还是不说话的好。”“我必须跟你说，因为这太美了。”“不。”
“兔子一”
但是她紧紧搂住他，扭过头去，他就温柔地问，“痛吗，兔
子。”
“不，”她说。“我又进入了神妙的境界,我也很感澉。”事后，他俩静狰地并排躺着，脚踝、大腿、脣部和肩膀都挨在一起,罗伯特，乔丹这时又看得到他的表了，这时玛丽亚说，“我们的运气真好。”
“是的，”他说。“我们是很幸运的人。”“没有时间睡觉了？”“没有了，”他说,“马上就要开始了。”“那么，如果非起来不可,我们去搞些吃的吧。”“好啊。”
“你。你不为什么发愁吧?”“不愁。”“真的？”
“不愁。现在不。”
“可你刚才在发愁,
“有一会儿
“我能帮点忙吗？”
“不。”他说。“你已经帮了大忙。”
“是那个吗？那是为了我呀，“
“那是为了我们俩。”他说。“不是一个人的事。来,兔子,我们穿衣服吧。”
但是他的心,他最好的伴侣，正在思量那神妙的境界。她说过神妙的境界。这和英语中的光荣和法国人所写所说的荣耀没有共同之处①。这是西班牙民歌②和唱经③里的东西。这种境界当然也在画家格列柯和诗人圣胡安，德拉克鲁斯以及其他作家的作品中存在着。我不是神秘主义者,伹如果否认它的存在，就等于象否认电话,否认地球绕太阳旋转，或者世间还有别的行星一样无知。
我们对于该知道的东西知道得真少啊。但應我能活一个长时期，不要今天就死，因为我在这四天中学到了很多人生真谛，
①实际上这个词在英语和法语中眼西班牙语中一样，都猓出同样的拉，“询，“，因此也可以作“神妙的塊界、极乐世界,的解释。这里作者用的西班牙语词儿是大写的，专门意昧着“神妙的境界\
②原文为，特指西班牙南邹安达卢西亚地区的民歌，节奏单调、音调优郁深沉，带有吉苷赛风味。
③原文为，为安达卢西亚地区在复活节前一周中宗敉行列路过时信徒们诵吟的祷文-
依我看，比我半辈子学到的东西更多。我愿傲个老人，具有真知灼见。我不知道人是否能不断地学下去，还是只能获得一定量的知识。我自以为知道的东西很多,实在什么也不知道。我希望有更多的时间。
“你教了我很多东西，溧亮的姑娘。”他用英语说 “你在说什么？”
“我从你那儿学到很多东西。” 、
“哪里的话。”她说。“你才是受过教育的人。”他想,教育,我受的教育仅仅开了个头,才开了个头。要是我今天死去，那就可情了，因为我现在僅得了一些事理。我难肯定，是不是由于时间短促，使你现在变得过于敏感，才学到了一些知识。然而,并没有所谓时间短促这回事。你应该懂得道理,明白这一点。我到这儿以来，一直生活在这一带山区。安塞尔莫是我最熟悉的朋友。我认识査尔斯、査布、盖伊、迈克①，这些人我都熟识，伹我和安塞尔莫最相熟。满嘴脏话的奥古斯丁是我的弟弟，而我从来没有过弟弟。玛丽亚是我真正的爱人、我的妻子。我从来没有过真正的爱人,没有过妻子。她也是我的妹妹,而我从来没有过妹妹，还是我的女儿，而我永远不会有女儿啦。我不愿意离开这样美好的环堍。他缚好了绳底鞋。
“我发现生活非常有意思”他对玛丽亚说。她在他身边坐在睡袋上，双手抱着脚踝。有人拉开了山洞口的毯子，他们俩都看到了灯光。这时仍是黑夜，还没有天亮的意思，不过他抬头穿过松林望去，看见星星悬挂得艮低。在这个月份,黎明会来得很
①这些都是乔丹在家乡的肯 朋友。
“罗伯托，”玛丽亚说，“嗯，漂亮的姑娘，“
“今天行动起来，我们可以在一起，对喝？”“开始以后,可以在一起。”“开始的时候不能吗?”“不能。你得跟马在一起。”“我不能跟你在一起?”
“不能。我的工作只能由我自己千，你在身边我要操心的。”“一结束你很快就回来吗。”
“很快，”他说，在黑暗中咧嘴笑了。“走,深亮的姑娘，我们.去吃吧。”
“你的睡袋呢?”
“要是你高兴，耙它卷起来。”
“我离兴。”她说。
“我来帮你。”
“不。我一个人来。〃
她跪下摊开睡袋，把它卷起来，接着改变了主意，站起身来把它抖抖,弄得啪啪的晌申她然后再跪下铺平、卷拢。罗伯特 乔丹提起两个背包，小心地捧着，免得包里的东西从裂缝里漏出来。他穿过松林来到那挂着毯子的冒烟的山洞口。他用胳膊肘推开毯子,进入山洞的时候，他表上是三点缺十分。
收听单词发音 |
1
caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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jaws
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| n.口部；嘴 | |
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swelled
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| 增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 )； 肿胀； （使）凸出； 充满（激情） | |
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luminous
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| adj.发光的，发亮的；光明的；明白易懂的；有启发的 | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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lobe
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| n.耳垂，（肺，肝等的）叶 | |
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rim
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| n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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longingly
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| adv. 渴望地 热望地 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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boughs
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| 大树枝( bough的名词复数 ) | |
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conclusively
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| adv.令人信服地，确凿地 | |
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thigh
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| n.大腿；股骨 | |
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hip
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| n.臀部，髋；屋脊 | |
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revolves
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| v.（使）旋转( revolve的第三人称单数 )；细想 | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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wilt
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| v.(使)植物凋谢或枯萎；(指人)疲倦，衰弱 | |
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slits
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| n.狭长的口子，裂缝( slit的名词复数 )v.切开，撕开( slit的第三人称单数 )；在…上开狭长口子 | |
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