That such a family, thus cursorily1 presented, might have a different and somewhat peculiar2 history could well beanticipated, and it would be true. Indeed, this one presented one of those anomalies of psychic3 and social reflexand motivation such as would tax the skill of not only the psychologist but the chemist and physicist4 as well, tounravel. To begin with, Asa Griffiths, the father, was one of those poorly integrated and correlated organisms,the product of an environment and a religious theory, but with no guiding or mental insight of his own, yetsensitive and therefore highly emotional and without any practical sense whatsoever5. Indeed it would be hard tomake clear just how life appealed to him, or what the true hue6 of his emotional responses was. On the other hand,as has been indicated, his wife was of a firmer texture7 but with scarcely any truer or more practical insight intoanything.
The history of this man and his wife is of no particular interest here save as it affected8 their boy of twelve, ClydeGriffiths. This youth, aside from a certain emotionalism and exotic sense of romance which characterized him,and which he took more from his father than from his mother, brought a more vivid and intelligent imaginationto things, and was constantly thinking of how he might better himself, if he had a chance; places to which hemight go, things he might see, and how differently he might live, if only this, that and the other things were true.
The principal thing that troubled Clyde up to his fifteenth year, and for long after in retrospect9, was that thecalling or profession of his parents was the shabby thing that it appeared to be in the eyes of others. For so oftenthroughout his youth in different cities in which his parents had conducted a mission or spoken on the streets-GrandRapids, Detroit, Milwaukee, Chicago, lastly Kansas City--it had been obvious that people, at least theboys and girls he encountered, looked down upon him and his brothers and sisters for being the children of suchparents. On several occasions, and much against the mood of his parents, who never countenanced10 suchexhibitions of temper, he had stopped to fight with one or another of these boys. But always, beaten orvictorious, he had been conscious of the fact that the work his parents did was not satisfactory to others,--shabby,trivial. And always he was thinking of what he would do, once he reached the place where he could get away.
For Clyde's parents had proved impractical11 in the matter of the future of their children. They did not understandthe importance or the essential necessity for some form of practical or professional training for each and everyone of their young ones. Instead, being wrapped up in the notion of evangelizing the world, they had neglected to keep their children in school in any one place. They had moved here and there, sometimes in the very midst of anadvantageous school season, because of a larger and better religious field in which to work. And there weretimes, when, the work proving highly unprofitable and Asa being unable to make much money at the two thingshe most understood--gardening and canvassing12 for one invention or another--they were quite without sufficientfood or decent clothes, and the children could not go to school. In the face of such situations as these, whateverthe children might think, Asa and his wife remained as optimistic as ever, or they insisted to themselves that theywere, and had unwavering faith in the Lord and His intention to provide.
The combination home and mission which this family occupied was dreary13 enough in most of its phases todiscourage the average youth or girl of any spirit. It consisted in its entirety of one long store floor in an old anddecidedly colorless and inartistic wooden building which was situated14 in that part of Kansas City which liesnorth of Independence Boulevard and west of Troost Avenue, the exact street or place being called Bickel, a veryshort thoroughfare opening off Missouri Avenue, a somewhat more lengthy15 but no less nondescript highway.
And the entire neighborhood in which it stood was very faintly and yet not agreeably redolent of a commerciallife which had long since moved farther south, if not west. It was some five blocks from the spot on which twicea week the open air meetings of these religious enthusiasts16 and proselytizers were held.
And it was the ground floor of this building, looking out into Bickel Street at the front and some dreary backyards of equally dreary frame houses, which was divided at the front into a hall forty by twenty-five feet in size,in which had been placed some sixty collapsible wood chairs, a lectern, a map of Palestine or the Holy Land, andfor wall decorations some twenty-five printed but unframed mottoes which read in part:
"WINE IS A MOCKER, STRONG DRINK IS RAGING AND WHOSOEVER IS DECEIVED THEREBY17 ISNOT WISE.""TAKE HOLD OF SHIELD AND BUCKLER, AND STAND UP FOR MINE HELP." PSALMS18 35:2.
"AND YE, MY FLOCK, THE FLOCK OF MY PASTURE, are men, AND I AM YOUR GOD, SAITH THELORD GOD." EZEKIEL 34:31.
"O GOD, THOU KNOWEST MY FOOLISHNESS, AND MY SINS ARE NOT HID FROM THEE." PSALMS69:5.
"IF YE HAVE FAITH AS A GRAIN OF MUSTARD SEED, YE SHALL SAY UNTO THIS MOUNTAIN,REMOVE HENCE TO YONDER PLACE; AND IT SHALL MOVE; AND NOTHING SHALL BEIMPOSSIBLE TO YOU." MATTHEW 17:20.
"FOR THE DAY OF THE LORD IS NEAR." OBADIAH 15.
"FOR THERE SHALL BE NO REWARD TO THE EVIL MAN." PROVERBS 24:20.
"LOOK, THEN, NOT UPON THE WINE WHEN IT IS RED: IT BITETH LIKE A SERPENT, ANDSTINGETH LIKE AN ADDER19." PROVERBS 23:31,32.
These mighty20 adjurations were as silver and gold plates set in a wall of dross21.
The rear forty feet of this very commonplace floor was intricately and yet neatly22 divided into three smallbedrooms, a living room which overlooked the backyard and wooden fences of yards no better than those at theback; also, a combination kitchen and dining room exactly ten feet square, and a store room for mission tracts,hymnals, boxes, trunks and whatever else of non-immediate use, but of assumed value, which the family owned.
This particular small room lay immediately to the rear of the mission hall itself, and into it before or afterspeaking or at such times as a conference seemed important, both Mr. and Mrs. Griffiths were wont23 to retire-alsoat times to meditate24 or pray.
How often had Clyde and his sisters and younger brother seen his mother or father, or both, in conference withsome derelict or semi-repentant soul who had come for advice or aid, most usually for aid. And here at times,when his mother's and father's financial difficulties were greatest, they were to be found thinking, or as AsaGriffiths was wont helplessly to say at times, "praying their way out," a rather ineffectual way, as Clyde began tothink later.
And the whole neighborhood was so dreary and run-down that he hated the thought of living in it, let alone beingpart of a work that required constant appeals for aid, as well as constant prayer and thanksgiving to sustain it.
Mrs. Elvira Griffiths before she had married Asa had been nothing but an ignorant farm girl, brought up withoutmuch thought of religion of any kind. But having fallen in love with him, she had become inoculated25 with thevirus of Evangelism and proselytizing26 which dominated him, and had followed him gladly and enthusiastically inall of his ventures and through all of his vagaries27. Being rather flattered by the knowledge that she could speakand sing, her ability to sway and persuade and control people with the "word of God," as she saw it, she hadbecome more or less pleased with herself on this account and so persuaded to continue.
Occasionally a small band of people followed the preachers to their mission, or learning of its existence throughtheir street work, appeared there later--those odd and mentally disturbed or distrait28 souls who are to be found inevery place. And it had been Clyde's compulsory29 duty throughout the years when he could not act for himself tobe in attendance at these various meetings. And always he had been more irritated than favorably influenced bythe types of men and women who came here--mostly men--down-and-out laborers30, loafers, drunkards, wastrels,the botched and helpless who seemed to drift in, because they had no other place to go. And they were alwaystestifying as to how God or Christ or Divine Grace had rescued them from this or that predicament--never howthey had rescued any one else. And always his father and mother were saying "Amen" and "Glory to God," andsinging hymns31 and afterward32 taking up a collection for the legitimate33 expenses of the hall--collections which, ashe surmised34, were little enough--barely enough to keep the various missions they had conducted in existence.
The one thing that really interested him in connection with his parents was the existence somewhere in the east-ina small city called Lycurgus, near Utica he understood--of an uncle, a brother of his father's, who was plainlydifferent from all this. That uncle--Samuel Griffiths by name--was rich. In one way and another, from casualremarks dropped by his parents, Clyde had heard references to certain things this particular uncle might do for aperson, if he but would; references to the fact that he was a shrewd, hard business man; that he had a great houseand a large factory in Lycurgus for the manufacture of collars and shirts, which employed not less than threehundred people; that he had a son who must be about Clyde's age, and several daughters, two at least, all of whom must be, as Clyde imagined, living in luxury in Lycurgus. News of all this had apparently35 been broughtwest in some way by people who knew Asa and his father and brother. As Clyde pictured this uncle, he must bea kind of Croesus, living in ease and luxury there in the east, while here in the west--Kansas City--he and hisparents and his brother and sisters were living in the same wretched and hum-drum, hand-to-mouth state that hadalways characterized their lives.
But for this--apart from anything he might do for himself, as he early began to see--there was no remedy. For atfifteen, and even a little earlier, Clyde began to understand that his education, as well as his sisters' and brother's,had been sadly neglected. And it would be rather hard for him to overcome this handicap, seeing that other boysand girls with more money and better homes were being trained for special kinds of work. How was one to get astart under such circumstances? Already when, at the age of thirteen, fourteen and fifteen, he began looking inthe papers, which, being too worldly, had never been admitted to his home, he found that mostly skilled help waswanted, or boys to learn trades in which at the moment he was not very much interested. For true to the standardof the American youth, or the general American attitude toward life, he felt himself above the type of laborwhich was purely36 manual. What! Run a machine, lay bricks, learn to be a carpenter, or a plasterer, or plumber,when boys no better than himself were clerks and druggists' assistants and bookkeepers and assistants in banksand real estate offices and such! Wasn't it menial, as miserable37 as the life he had thus far been leading, to wearold clothes and get up so early in the morning and do all the commonplace things such people had to do?
For Clyde was as vain and proud as he was poor. He was one of those interesting individuals who looked uponhimself as a thing apart--never quite wholly and indissolubly merged38 with the family of which he was a member,and never with any profound obligations to those who had been responsible for his coming into the world. On thecontrary, he was inclined to study his parents, not too sharply or bitterly, but with a very fair grasp of theirqualities and capabilities39. And yet, with so much judgment40 in that direction, he was never quite able--at least notuntil he had reached his sixteenth year--to formulate41 any policy in regard to himself, and then only in a ratherfumbling and tentative way.
Incidentally by that time the sex lure42 or appeal had begun to manifest itself and he was already intenselyinterested and troubled by the beauty of the opposite sex, its attractions for him and his attraction for it. And,naturally and coincidentally, the matter of his clothes and his physical appearance had begun to trouble him not alittle--how he looked and how other boys looked. It was painful to him now to think that his clothes were notright; that he was not as handsome as he might be, not as interesting. What a wretched thing it was to be bornpoor and not to have any one to do anything for you and not to be able to do so very much for yourself!
Casual examination of himself in mirrors whenever he found them tended rather to assure him that he was not sobad-looking--a straight, well-cut nose, high white forehead, wavy43, glossy44, black hair, eyes that were black andrather melancholy45 at times. And yet the fact that his family was the unhappy thing that it was, that he had neverhad any real friends, and could not have any, as he saw it, because of the work and connection of his parents, wasnow tending more and more to induce a kind of mental depression or melancholia which promised not so wellfor his future. It served to make him rebellious46 and hence lethargic47 at times. Because of his parents, and in spiteof his looks, which were really agreeable and more appealing than most, he was inclined to misinterpret theinterested looks which were cast at him occasionally by young girls in very different walks of life from him--thecontemptuous and yet rather inviting48 way in which they looked to see if he were interested or disinterested49, braveor cowardly.
And yet, before he had ever earned any money at all, he had always told himself that if only he had a bettercollar, a nicer shirt, finer shoes, a good suit, a swell50 overcoat like some boys had! Oh, the fine clothes, thehandsome homes, the watches, rings, pins that some boys sported; the dandies many youths of his years alreadywere! Some parents of boys of his years actually gave them cars of their own to ride in. They were to be seenupon the principal streets of Kansas City flitting to and fro like flies. And pretty girls with them. And he hadnothing. And he never had had.
And yet the world was so full of so many things to do--so many people were so happy and so successful. Whatwas he to do? Which way to turn? What one thing to take up and master--something that would get himsomewhere. He could not say. He did not know exactly. And these peculiar parents were in no way sufficientlyequipped to advise him.
刚才给读者粗略地介绍的这一家人，说不定有一段与众不同。多少有些特殊的家史，这是完全可以想象到的，实际上也果然是这样。说实话，这样一家人，是在诱发心理和社会动机及其反应方面都呈现出反常状态的家庭之一，倘要阐述个中奥秘，不但需要心理学家，而且还需要化学家和物理学家的熟娴技巧。先说说这个一家之主阿萨。格里菲思吧:
他是属于体内机能不够健全的一类人，是某种环境和某种宗教学说的典型产物，没有自己的主见，或者说没有自己的胆识，不过，他很敏感，因此也非常容易动感情，但是一点儿都没有务实的观念。至于他对生活究竟怀有什么样憧憬，他感情上究竟会有什么样反应，说实话，这些都很难说得清。另一方面，正如前面已经说过，他的妻子性格比较坚强，可她也不见得事事都拿得出比他更正确。更实际的高见来。
这一对夫妇的身世，要不是因为它给了他们那个十二岁的儿子克莱德。格里菲思很大影响，本来不必在这儿做特别的交待。先不说这个小伙子有个显著特点，就是比较爱动感情，喜欢罗曼蒂克情调(他的这个特点，更多的来自父亲，而不是来自母亲)，他对生活却独具慧眼，有着较为活跃的想象力;他心中不时在琢磨着:
一俟有机会，说不定就可以改善自己的境况;要是万事顺遂的话，说不定他就可以到哪些地方去，见识见识世面，那时他过的将是另一种生活了。克莱德行年已有十五，使他特别苦恼的一件事(而且以后长时间里一回想起它也仍深感苦恼)，就是:
他父母的行业，或者说专门职业，在众人心目中显得太寒伧了。
在他整个少年时期，父母在各个城市，比如说大瀑布城。底特律。密尔沃基。
芝加哥，最近还有堪萨斯城，主办传道馆，或者在街头布道;一般人，至少是他所遇见的那些男孩子和女孩子，照例都是看不起他和他的兄弟姐妹，显然因为他们就是这样一对父母所生的子女。有好几回，他竟然在路上跟这些孩子里头这一个或那一个干起仗来(这使他父母大为不满，因为他们从来都不赞成这样放肆的表现)。可是不管打败了也好，还是打赢了也好，他每次总是意识到:
父母的这个行业正是被人瞧不起的……毕竟太寒伧。太卑微了。因此，他总是在暗自思忖:
有一天，到了他能够出人头地的时候，自己又该怎么办呢。
事实上，克莱德的父母，对自己子女前途的想法，证明是不切实际的。他们根本不懂得，某种实用知识或是专门职业的训练，对他们每一个孩子来说，都是至关重要，或者说也是必不可缺的。相反，他们满脑子只想到给全世界传播福音，却忘了让自己孩子们在哪一个地方上学念书。他们经常从这个地方搬到那个地方去，即使孩子们念书正念得很顺当，为了传教工作有更广阔。更优越的活动天地，有时也得搬家。有的时候，他们的传教活动几乎完全得不到收入，阿萨从他最拿手的两件事……莳花艺草和推销新产品……又挣不到多少钱，这时他们差不多已是食不果腹，衣不蔽体，孩子们自然也就辍学了。面对这样窘况，不管孩子们会有怎么个想法，阿萨夫妇俩始终保持乐观，至少他们硬是相信自己乐观，而且毫不动摇地虔信上帝及其垂爱恩赐。
这一家人的住所兼传道馆，那里够阴惨惨的，足以使有一点儿生气的少男少女都提不起精神来。那是一座黯淡无光。毫无艺术情趣的破旧木头房子;他们占用的是整个长长的底楼。它坐落在堪萨斯城独立林荫大道以北。特鲁斯特大街以西市区内，确切的街名或地名叫比克尔。这条街很短，通向虽然稍微长些。
但同样是难以描述的密苏里街。传道馆附近这一带地方，还依稀让人不太愉快地回想起昔日生意兴隆的景象，如今这里的商业中心区早已移到西南方向去了。
在离这里五个街区的地方，有一些热心宗教的人和劝人改宗的人，每周两次举行露天聚会。
这座房子的底楼，正好面对着比克尔街，还可看到一些同样阴沉沉的木结构房子的阴沉沉的后院。底楼前头这部分，已隔成一个四十英尺长。二十五英尺宽的大厅，里面摆上大约六十把木折椅，一个诵经坛，一幅圣地巴勒斯坦地图，还有二十五张印好后尚未装框的箴言，作为墙头的装饰品，其中一部分就是:
"酒能使人亵慢，浓酒使人喧嚷。凡因酒错误的，就无智慧。"(见《圣经。
旧约。箴言》第２０章。)"拿着大小的盾牌，起来帮助我。"……《诗篇》第三十五篇第二节"你们作我的羊，我草场上的羊，乃是以色列人，我也是你们的上帝，这是主耶和华说的。"……《以西结书》第三十四章第三十一节"上帝啊，我的愚昧你原知道，我的罪愆不能隐瞒。"……《诗篇》第六十九篇第五节"你们若有信心象一粒芥菜种，就是对这座山说，你从这边挪到那边，它也必挪去;并且你们没有一件不能作的事了。"……《马太福音》第十七章第二十节"耶和华降罚的日子临近万国。"……《俄巴底亚书》第十五节"因为恶人终不得善报。"……《箴言》第二十四章第二十节"酒发红，在杯中闪烁，你不可观看:
终究是咬你如蛇，刺你如毒蛇。"……《箴言》第二十三章第三十一。三十二节这些庄严有力的祈求，好象是悬在抹上灰渣的墙壁上的金银挂盘。
这一层极其普通的底楼后面尚有四十英尺，那块地方错综复杂，但又别致地一一隔开，成为三个小卧室和一个起坐间，这个起坐间既望得见后院，也望得见与后院相差无几。毗邻的一些院子里的木栅栏。此外还有一间恰好十英尺见方的厨房，同时也兼作餐室;一间贮藏室，里面置放着传道用的小册子和赞美诗集，以及盒子。箱子和家里一时不用但又被认为有价值的一些零星什物。这个特殊的小房间，紧挨在传道大厅后面，格里菲思夫妇在讲道以前，或是在讲道之后，或是有要紧的事商量的时候，照例要到这里来……不过也有的时候，他们来这里沉思默想或者做祈祷。
克莱德和他的姐姐，还有他的弟弟，三天两头看到他们的母亲或者父亲，有时单独，有时两人一道，跟一个被遗弃了的。或则稍有悔罪之意的人谈话。
这些人是来这里寻求忠告或者帮助的，往往多半是来寻求帮助的。有时，正好他的父母手头特别紧，孩子们就看见他们俩待在这里冥思苦索，或者正如阿萨。
格里菲思常常在一筹莫展时所说的，就是要"祷告上帝给他们指出一条出路来"。
后来克莱德心中开始琢磨，这实在也是无济于事的。
他家周围整个地区，也都是那样阴暗。凋敝，克莱德一想到自己住在这个地区就很腻味，更不用提……经常要向人恳求帮助，自己也不得不参予其事，而且，为了支持起见，还得经常祷告上帝和感谢天恩。
爱尔薇拉。格里菲思太太在嫁给阿萨以前，只不过是一个没受过教育的农场姑娘，即使长大成人，也很少想到过宗教这一类事情。哪知道她一爱上了他以后，就好象中了他传播福音和劝人改宗的毒。以后，不管他要担多大风险，或则玩弄种种希奇百怪的花招，她总是欣喜若狂地追随他。后来她知道自己能说会唱，居然还能利用她已知道的"上帝所说的话"去影响。开导。支配别人，不免感到沾沾自喜，对此她也就多少有些心安理得，乐意继续干下去了。
偶尔也有一小拨人，跟着这两位传教士径直来到了他们的传道馆，或者是因为听他们在街头传道时提到过这个传道馆，事后才登上门来的……这些稀奇古怪。心神不安，乃至于神经错乱的人，眼下是到哪儿都有的。由于克莱德目前还不能自立，多年来他就只好到各式各样的宗教集会上奉陪他的父母了。到这里来的各色人等的男男女女……十之八九为男人……有穷困潦倒的工人，有无业游民，有酒鬼和流浪汉，还有那些孤苦无告。其丑无比的人……看来他们就是因为没有别的地方可去，这才踅到这里来……对于这些人，克莱德与其说有好感，还不如说生气。他们一向证明上帝。基督或是神灵怎样把他们从这个或那个困境中拯救出来，可他们从来没有说过他们自己拯救过别人的事。他的父母总是唠叨着说"阿门"和"光荣归于上帝"，接着唱赞美诗，最后为传道馆的正当开支募集捐款。捐款的数目，据他估算，少得可怜，只够维持他们现有的各式各样的传道活动。
关于他的父母，只有一件事真的使他感到兴趣，那就是:
在东部某处……在一个叫做莱柯格斯的小城，据他所知，靠近尤蒂卡(纽约州中部一城市。)……有一位伯父，亦即他父亲的哥哥。他伯父的生活境况跟他们显然大不一样。伯父名叫塞缪尔。格里菲思，是个有钱人。克莱德从父母偶尔闲谈中多次听说过:
这位伯父只要随他高兴，就肯给某个人一点帮助;他还是一个精明而又严厉的商人;他在莱柯格斯有一所巨邸和一个生产领子和衬衫的大工厂，雇用工人不少于三百人;他有个儿子，年纪想必跟克莱德相差无几，还有好几个女儿，少说也有两个，据克莱德猜想，他们在莱柯格斯一定都过着奢靡的生活。以上所有这些消息，显然都由那些认识阿萨及其父兄的人捎到西部来的。在克莱德的想象中，这位伯父想必是好象克里塞斯(克里塞斯是公元前六世纪小亚细亚吕底亚国极富的国王。)那一类人，在东部过着舒适奢靡的生活。可是在西部这里……堪萨斯城，他跟他的父母。兄弟姐妹的生活，一言以蔽之，依然是那么可怜。乏味，仅仅足以糊口罢了。
不过，克莱德很早就看得清清楚楚，除了他能自立以外，别无他法可想了。
他在十五岁时，甚至更早一些，就开始懂得:
他自己的教育，还有他的姐妹。弟弟的教育，不幸全被他父母耽误了。由于那些家境较为殷实的少男少女都接受专门技能的教育，他要克服自己的困境，自然就更难了。在这样的境况下，他一开始该从哪儿着手呢?
其实，他在十三。十四。十五岁时，就开始浏览各种报纸了，可是他家里从来不许看报的(因为看报已被视作太世俗的事了)。他得悉现下到处需要有熟练技术的人，或是受过专门职业训练的学徒，不过当时他对此却不是很感兴趣。正如一般美国青年的想法，或则普通美国人的人生观一样，克莱德觉得自己凌驾于纯粹体力劳动者那一类人之上。天下居然还有这样的事!
那些比他好不了多少的小伙子，都当上了店员，杂货铺的帮手，以及银行和地产公司里的会计和助手，难道说他就得去开机器，砌砖头，学做木工。泥水活和水暖管子工吗!
要是叫他身穿旧衣服，每天一清早爬起来，就象那些人一样，不得不去干那些平淡无奇的事情，岂不是太低三下四，如同他迄至今日的生活一样窝囊吗?
克莱德既穷而又很爱虚荣和骄傲。他就是自命不凡的那一号人……他虽然是家中一员，可他跟家从来不是水乳交融，甚至于对有养育之恩的人，也从来没有深切感激之情。相反，他喜欢仔细琢磨他的父母，虽然并不太尖锐或者太刻薄，可是对他们的素质和能力却有了充分了解。不过，尽管他对别人很有判断力，可对自己的前途，心中却始终没有谱，即便到了十六岁那年，也才只有一些尚在摸索的试探性的想法。
顺便提一下，就在这时候，性的诱惑，或者干脆说性感，不知不觉地开始在他身上显露出来了。对于异性的美。异性对他的引吸力，以及他对异性的吸引力，他早已引起了强烈的兴趣，同时，他也为此感到很烦恼。再说，很自然地，与此同时产生的衣着和仪表这类问题，也开始给他带来不少烦恼……瞧他自己的外表是怎样的，而人家的小伙子的外表又是怎样的?
如今，他一想到自己的衣服不行，又不能打扮得更漂亮些，以便自己更加吸引人，就觉得很痛苦。
生来就是穷，既没有人帮助过你，自己又没有能耐助自己一臂之力，那该有多么可怜啊!
他只要见到镜子，总要把自己仔细端详一番。他相信自己模样儿长得并不太难看……端正大方的鼻子，白白净净的高额角，油光锃亮的波浪型黑头发，乌溜溜的眼睛有时含有几分郁色。可是由于他家里的不幸，父母的职业性质，以及种种人际关系，真正的朋友不仅过去他没有过，而且，依他看，现在也不见得能找到:
这一事实越来越诱发他心情坠入抑郁，亦即所谓忧郁症，对他的将来自然毫无好处。这反而促使他想要反抗，但有时候精神上却又萎靡不振。尽管他的仪表说真的很讨人喜欢，吸引力也比一般人更大，可是，当那些社会阶层与他迥然不同的年轻姑娘偶尔向他投以一瞥时，他就是因为一想到自己父母的德行，往往误解了她们的用意，其实，她们这种轻蔑而又存心逗引的神色，不外乎要试探一下:
他对她们到底是喜欢呢，还是毫无意思;他这个人究竟是好样儿呢，还是个胆小鬼。
不过话又说回来，即使在他连一个子儿还都没有挣到之前，他一直在暗自思忖:
要是他象别的小伙子那样，也有一条好一点的衣领。一件漂亮一点的衬衫。
一双好看一点的皮鞋，还有一套做工讲究的衣服。一件阔气的大衣，该有多好!
啊!
高级衣服。漂亮房子，以及手表。戒指和别针等等，多少小伙子一一拿来出风头啊!
还有那些象他那样年龄的男孩子……现在都是花花公子!
有些与他同龄的男孩子，做父母的真的给他们买了汽车，供他们兜风去哩。克莱德看见他们象蝇子似的在堪萨斯城大街上飞来飞去。而且他们身边还有漂亮女郎陪着。可他却什么都没有。而且，他从来就是未曾有过啊。
不过，世界上可做的事情多着呢……幸福。得意的人儿也是到处都有。现在克莱德，他该怎么办呢?
到底走哪一条路呢?
究竟应该选定哪一行，学好了，将来使他出人头地呢?
这些他都说不上来。他毕竟还闹不清楚。就连他那古里古怪的父母。也是孤陋寡闻，没法给他点拨一下。
收听单词发音 |
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cursorily
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| adv.粗糙地，疏忽地，马虎地 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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psychic
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| n.对超自然力敏感的人；adj.有超自然力的 | |
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physicist
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| n.物理学家，研究物理学的人 | |
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whatsoever
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| adv.（用于否定句中以加强语气）任何；pron.无论什么 | |
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hue
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| n.色度；色调；样子 | |
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texture
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| n.(织物)质地；(材料)构造；结构；肌理 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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retrospect
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| n.回顾，追溯；v.回顾，回想，追溯 | |
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countenanced
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| v.支持，赞同，批准( countenance的过去式 ) | |
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impractical
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| adj.不现实的，不实用的，不切实际的 | |
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canvassing
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| v.（在政治方面）游说( canvass的现在分词 )；调查（如选举前选民的）意见；为讨论而提出（意见等）；详细检查 | |
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dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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situated
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| adj.坐落在...的，处于某种境地的 | |
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lengthy
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| adj.漫长的，冗长的 | |
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enthusiasts
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| n.热心人，热衷者( enthusiast的名词复数 ) | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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psalms
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| n.赞美诗( psalm的名词复数 )；圣诗；圣歌；(中的) | |
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adder
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| n.蝰蛇；小毒蛇 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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dross
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| n.渣滓；无用之物 | |
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neatly
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| adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地 | |
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wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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meditate
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| v.想，考虑，（尤指宗教上的）沉思，冥想 | |
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inoculated
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| v.给…做预防注射( inoculate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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proselytizing
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| v.（使）改变宗教信仰[政治信仰、意见等]，使变节( proselytize的现在分词 ) | |
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vagaries
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| n.奇想( vagary的名词复数 )；异想天开；异常行为；难以预测的情况 | |
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distrait
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| adj.心不在焉的 | |
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compulsory
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| n.强制的，必修的；规定的，义务的 | |
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laborers
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| n.体力劳动者，工人( laborer的名词复数 )；（熟练工人的）辅助工 | |
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hymns
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| n.赞美诗，圣歌，颂歌( hymn的名词复数 ) | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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legitimate
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| adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法 | |
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surmised
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| v.臆测，推断( surmise的过去式和过去分词 )；揣测；猜想 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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merged
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| （使）混合( merge的过去式和过去分词 )； 相融； 融入； 渐渐消失在某物中 | |
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capabilities
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| n.能力( capability的名词复数 )；可能；容量；[复数]潜在能力 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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formulate
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| v.用公式表示；规划；设计；系统地阐述 | |
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lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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wavy
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| adj.有波浪的，多浪的，波浪状的，波动的，不稳定的 | |
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glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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rebellious
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| adj.造反的，反抗的，难控制的 | |
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lethargic
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| adj.昏睡的，懒洋洋的 | |
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inviting
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| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
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disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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