Six-thirty the following morning. And Clyde, after but a single hour's rest after his return from Gloversville,rising, his mind full of mixed and troubled thoughts as to how to readjust his affairs in connection with Roberta.
She was going to Biltz to-day. He had promised to go as far as Fonda. But now he did not want to go. Of coursehe would have to concoct1 some excuse. But what?
Fortunately the day before he had heard Whiggam tell Liggett there was to be a meeting of department headsafter closing hours in Smillie's office to-day, and that he was to be there. Nothing was said to Clyde, since hisdepartment was included in Liggett's, but now he decided2 that he could offer this as a reason and accordingly,about an hour before noon, he dropped a note on her desk which read:
"HONEY: Awfully3 sorry, but just told that I have to be at a meeting of department heads downstairs at three.
That means I can't go to Fonda with you, but will drop around to the room for a few minutes right after closing.
Have something I want to give you, so be sure and wait. But don't feel too bad. It can't be helped. See you surewhen you come back Wednesday.
"CLYDE."At first, since she could not read it at once, Roberta was pleased because she imagined it contained some furtherfavorable word about the afternoon. But on opening it in the ladies' rest room a few minutes afterwards, her facefell. Coupled as this was with the disappointment of the preceding evening, when Clyde had failed to appear,together with his manner of the morning which to her had seemed self-absorbed, if not exactly distant, she beganto wonder what it was that was bringing about this sudden change. Perhaps he could not avoid attending ameeting any more than he could avoid going to his uncle's when he was asked. But the day before, following hisword to her that he could not be with her that evening, his manner was gayer, less sober, than his supposedaffection in the face of her departure would warrant. After all he had known before that she was to be gone forthree days. He also knew that nothing weighed on her more than being absent from him any length of time.
At once her mood from one of hopefulness changed to one of deep depression--the blues4. Life was always doingthings like this to her. Here it was--two days before Christmas, and now she would have to go to Biltz, wherethere was nothing much but such cheer as she could bring, and all by herself, and after scarcely a moment withhim. She returned to her bench, her face showing all the unhappiness that had suddenly overtaken her. Hermanner was listless and her movements indifferent--a change which Clyde noticed; but still, because of hissudden and desperate feeling for Sondra, he could not now bring himself to repent5.
At one, the giant whistles of some of the neighboring factories sounding the Saturday closing hours, both he andRoberta betook themselves separately to her room. And he was thinking to himself as he went what to say now.
What to do? How in the face of this suddenly frosted and blanched6 affection to pretend an interest he did notfeel--how, indeed, continue with a relationship which now, as alive and vigorous as it might have been as little asfifteen days before, appeared exceedingly anemic and colorless. It would not do to say or indicate in any waythat he did not care for her any more--for that would be so decidedly cruel and might cause Roberta to say what?
Do what? And on the other hand, neither would it do, in the face of his longings7 and prospects8 in the direction ofSondra to continue in a type of approach and declaration that was not true or sound and that could only tend tomaintain things as they were. Impossible! Besides, at the first hint of reciprocal love on the part of Sondra, would he not be anxious and determined9 to desert Roberta if he could? And why not? As contrasted with one ofSondra's position and beauty, what had Roberta really to offer him? And would it be fair in one of her station andconsidering the connections and the possibilities that Sondra offered, for her to demand or assume that he shouldcontinue a deep and undivided interest in her as opposed to this other? That would not really be fair, would it?
It was thus that he continued to speculate while Roberta, preceding him to her room, was asking herself what wasthis now that had so suddenly come upon her--over Clyde--this sudden indifference10, this willingness to break apre-Christmas date, and when she was about to leave for home and not to see him for three days and overChristmas, too, to make him not wish to ride with her even so far as Fonda. He might say that it was thatmeeting, but was it? She could have waited until four if necessary, but something in his manner had precludedthat--something distant and evasive. Oh, what did this all mean? And, so soon after the establishing of thisintimacy, which at first and up to now at least had seemed to be drawing them indivisibly together. Did it spell achange--danger to or the end even of their wonderful love dream? Oh, dear! And she had given him so much andnow his loyalty12 meant everything--her future--her life.
She stood in her room pondering this new problem as Clyde arrived, his Christmas package under his arm, butstill fixed13 in his determination to modify his present relationship with Roberta, if he could--yet, at the same timeanxious to put as inconsequential a face on the proceeding14 as possible.
"Gee15, I'm awfully sorry about this, Bert," he began briskly, his manner a mixture of attempted gayety, sympathyand uncertainty16. "I hadn't an idea until about a couple of hours ago that they were going to have this meeting. Butyou know how it is. You just can't get out of a thing like this. You're not going to feel too bad, are you?" Foralready, from her expression at the factory as well as here, he had gathered that her mood was of the darkest. "I'mglad I got the chance to bring this around to you, though," he added, handing the gift to her. "I meant to bring itaround last night only that other business came up. Gee, I'm sorry about the whole thing. Really, I am."Delighted as she might have been the night before if this gift had been given to her, Roberta now put the box onthe table, all the zest17 that might have been joined with it completely banished18.
"Did you have a good time last night, dear?" she queried19, curious as to the outcome of the event that had robbedher of him.
"Oh, pretty good," returned Clyde, anxious to put as deceptive20 a face as possible on the night that had meant somuch to him and spelled so much danger to her. "I thought I was just going over to my uncle's for dinner like Itold you. But after I got there I found that what they really wanted me for was to escort Bella and Myra over tosome doings in Gloversvile. There's a rich family over there, the Steeles--big glove people, you know. Well,anyhow, they were giving a dance and they wanted me to take them over because Gil couldn't go. But it wasn'tso very interesting. I was glad when it was all over." He used the names Bella, Myra and Gilbert as though theywere long and assured intimates of his--an intimacy11 which invariably impressed Roberta greatly.
"You didn't get through in time then to come around here, did you?""No, I didn't, 'cause I had to wait for the bunch to come back. I just couldn't get away. But aren't you going toopen your present?" he added, anxious to divert her thoughts from this desertion which he knew was preying21 on her mind.
She began to untie22 the ribbon that bound his gift, at the same time that her mind was riveted23 by the possibilitiesof the party which he had felt called upon to mention. What girls beside Bella and Myra had been there? Wasthere by any chance any girl outside of herself in whom he might have become recently interested? He wasalways talking about Sondra Finchley, Bertine Cranston and Jill Trumbull. Were they, by any chance, at thisparty?
"Who all were over there beside your cousins?" she suddenly asked.
"Oh, a lot of people that you don't know. Twenty or thirty from different places around here.""Any others from Lycurgus beside your cousins?" she persisted.
"Oh, a few. We picked up Jill Trumbull and her sister, because Bella wanted to. Arabella Stark24 and PerleyHaynes were already over there when we got there." He made no mention of Sondra or any of the others who sointerested him.
But because of the manner in saying it--something in the tone of his voice and flick25 of his eyes, the answer didnot satisfy Roberta. She was really intensely troubled by this new development, but did not feel that under thecircumstances it was wise to importune26 Clyde too much. He might resent it. After all he had always beenidentified with this world since ever she had known him. And she did not want him to feel that she wasattempting to assert any claims over him, though such was her true desire.
"I wanted so much to be with you last night to give you your present," she returned instead, as much to divert herown thoughts as to appeal to his regard for her. Clyde sensed the sorrow in her voice and as of old it appealed tohim, only now he could not and would not let it take hold of him as much as otherwise it might have.
"But you know how that was, Bert," he replied, with almost an air of bravado27. "I just told you.""I know," she replied sadly and attempting to conceal28 the true mood that was dominating her. At the same timeshe was removing the paper and opening the lid to the case that contained her toilet set. And once opened, hermood changed slightly because never before had she possessed29 anything so valuable or original. "Oh, this isbeautiful, isn't it?" she exclaimed, interested for the moment in spite of herself. "I didn't expect anything like this.
My two little presents won't seem like very much now."She crossed over at once to get her gifts. Yet Clyde could see that although his gift was exceptional, still it wasnot sufficient to overcome the depression which his indifference had brought upon her. His continued love wasfar more vital than any present.
"You like it, do you?" he asked, eagerly hoping against hope that it would serve to divert her.
"Of course, dear," she replied, looking at it interestedly. "But mine won't seem so much," she added gloomily,and not a little depressed30 by the general outcome of all her plans. "But they'll be useful to you and you'll always have them near you, next your heart, where I want them to be."She handed over the small box which contained the metal Eversharp pencil and the silver ornamental31 fountainpen she had chosen for him because she fancied they would be useful to him in his work at the factory. Twoweeks before he would have taken her in his arms and sought to console her for the misery32 he was now causingher. But now he merely stood there wondering how, without seeming too distant, he could assuage33 her and yetnot enter upon the customary demonstrations34. And in order so to do he burst into enthusiastic and yet somehowhollow words in regard to her present to him.
"Oh, gee, these are swell35, honey, and just what I need. You certainly couldn't have given me anything that wouldcome in handier. I can use them all the time." He appeared to examine them with the utmost pleasure andafterwards fastened them in his pocket ready for use. Also, because for the moment she was before him sodowncast and wistful, epitomizing really all the lure36 of the old relationship, he put his arms around her andkissed her. She was winsome37, no doubt of it. And then when she threw her arms around his neck and burst intotears, he held her close, saying that there was no cause for all this and that she would be back Wednesday and allwould be as before. At the same time he was thinking that this was not true, and how strange that was--seeingthat only so recently he had cared for her so much. It was amazing how another girl could divert him in this way.
And yet so it was. And although she might be thinking that he was still caring for her as he did before, he wasnot and never would again. And because of this he felt really sorry for her.
Something of this latest mood in him reached Roberta now, even as she listened to his words and felt hiscaresses. They failed to convey sincerity38. His manner was too restless, his embraces too apathetic39, his tonewithout real tenderness. Further proof as to this was added when, after a moment or two, he sought to disengagehimself and look at his watch, saying, "I guess I'll have to be going now, honey. It's twenty of three now and thatmeeting is for three. I wish I could ride over with you, but I'll see you when you get back."He bent40 down to kiss her but with Roberta sensing once and for all, this time, that his mood in regard to her wasdifferent, colder. He was interested and kind, but his thoughts were elsewhere--and at this particular season ofthe year, too--of all times. She tried to gather her strength and her self-respect together and did, in part--sayingrather coolly, and determinedly41 toward the last: "Well, I don't want you to be late, Clyde. You better hurry. But Idon't want to stay over there either later than Christmas night. Do you suppose if I come back early Christmasafternoon, you will come over here at all? I don't want to be late Wednesday for work.""Why, sure, of course, honey, I'll be around," replied Clyde genially42 and even wholeheartedly, seeing that he hadnothing else scheduled, that he knew of, for then, and would not so soon and boldly seek to evade43 her in thisfashion. "What time do you expect to get in?"The hour was to be eight and he decided that for that occasion, anyhow, a reunion would be acceptable. He drewout his watch again and saying, "I'll have to be going now, though," moved toward the door.
Nervous as to the significance of all this and concerned about the future, she now went over to him and seizinghis coat lapels and looking into his eyes, half-pleaded and half-demanded: "Now, this is sure for Christmas night,is it, Clyde? You won't make any other engagement this time, will you?""Oh, don't worry. You know me. You know I couldn't help that other, honey, but I'll be on hand Tuesday, sure,"he returned. And kissing her, he hurried out, feeling, perhaps, that he was not acting44 as wisely as he should, butnot seeing clearly how otherwise he was to do. A man couldn't break off with a girl as he was trying to do, or atleast might want to, without exercising some little tact45 or diplomacy46, could he? There was no sense in that norany real skill, was there? There must be some other and better way than that, surely. At the same time histhoughts were already running forward to Sondra and New Year's Eve. He was going with her to Schenectady toa party and then he would have a chance to judge whether she was caring for him as much as she had seemed tothe night before.
After he had gone, Roberta turned in a rather lorn and weary way and looked out the window after him,wondering as to what her future with him was to be, if at all? Supposing now, for any reason, he should ceasecaring for her. She had given him so much. And her future was now dependent upon him, his continued regard.
Was he going to get tired of her now--not want to see her any more? Oh, how terrible that would be. What wouldshe--what could she do then? If only she had not given herself to him, yielded so easily and so soon upon hisdemand.
She gazed out of her window at the bare snow-powdered branches of the trees outside and sighed. The holidays!
And going away like this. Oh! Besides he was so high placed in this local society. And there were so manythings brighter and better than she could offer calling him.
She shook her head dubiously47, surveyed her face in the mirror, put together the few presents and belongingswhich she was taking with her to her home, and departed.
转天早上六点半。克莱德从格洛弗斯维尔回来后才歇了个把钟头，一起身，就心乱如麻，真不知道怎样调整一下他跟罗伯达之间的关系。今天她要到比尔茨去了。他原先答应把她一直送到方达的。可现在他不想去了。当然罗，他就得编造一些借口呗。可是什么样的借口呢?多亏前天他听到惠甘对利格特说，今天下班后要在斯米利办公室召集各部门负责人开会，届时利格特也应到会。虽然并没有通知克莱德开会，因为他这个部门只是附在利格特手下一部分。可是，他决定以要开会作为托词。于是，大约在正午前一个钟头，他在她桌上留下一张便条，全文如下:
亲爱的:
非常抱歉，刚通知我务必参加下午三点在楼下召开的各部门负责人的会议。那就是说，我不能跟你一块去方达了，不过，我下班后马上赶到你住处待上几分钟。我有一点东西要送给你，请你务必等我。不要太难过。我可实在没有办法。等你星期三回来，我一准来看你。
克莱德开头，罗伯达一看到便条，因为没有马上拆看，还很高兴，心里琢磨:
里头一定有什么好消息哩。可是几分钟后，她到女盥洗室把它一拆开，脸马上沉下来。姑且不谈这件事，克莱德昨天晚上就没有露面，今天早上又是那么茫然若失，甚至冷若冰霜，在她看来，如果说不上疏远，至少也是极端自私吧。她心里开始纳闷，到底为啥出现这样突然变化呢。说不定开会一事，他是非去不可的。正如他伯父家叫他去，他就不得不去一样。不过，如果说现在他知道她要走，而照旧爱她的话，那末，前天他对她说过那天晚上不能跟她在一起以后，恐怕就不能还是那么高兴和平静了。毕竟他知道她这一去就要三天时间。他也分明知道，她心里最难过的，就是离开他，不管时间长短。
她心中原是满怀希望，可现在一下子变成极度沮丧……无限忧愁。她一生中总是碰到这样不顺心的事。就说眼前吧……离圣诞节只有两天了，现在她就得动身去比尔茨了，那里一点儿乐趣都没有，全在指望她能不能带点好消息去，让大家乐一乐。如今看来她就得孤身一人上路，临走前连跟他多待一分钟也都不行。她回到自己的座位上，脸上露出突然遭到不幸的神色，没精打采，心不在焉……这一变化尽管克莱德也注意到了，可是，由于他突然丧心病狂地惦念着桑德拉，他心中实在也谈不上有一丁点儿悔恨之意。
下午一点钟，附近各厂巨大汽笛长鸣，告知人们星期六下班了……克莱德和罗伯达两人分开走，但是都来到了她的房间。他在路上一面走，一面心里在嘀咕，该说些什么呢。该怎么办?
当爱情突然变成冰冷。苍白，而且自己毫无情意时，该怎样佯装出一副温情脉脉的样子来……两人关系半个月前还是如火如荼，可如今已经骤然下降，显得惊人地黯然失色，又该怎样把它继续下去呢?
既不照实直说，也不能用任何方式向她表示，如今他再也不疼她了……因为这样不免太残酷，而且，谁知道，罗伯达对此又会作出什么样的回答?
或是作出什么样的行动来呢?
另一方面，如今他既然已把全部梦想和希望都寄托在桑德拉身上，那就不能再用一些甜言蜜语和虚情假意去抚慰罗伯达，因为这样做的结果，只能使他们原有关系照旧保持下去。那可要不得!
再说，既已初露端倪，暗示出桑德拉钟情于他，那他，当然罗，恨不得一下子就把罗伯达抛弃!
为什么他不会这样呢?
罗伯达真的能给他些什么呢?
难道说她能跟桑德拉的地位。美貌相比吗?
如果说罗伯达要求他，或是自以为他应该对她继续保持一种深挚。专一的爱情，而克莱德为了她拒绝了桑德拉所能给予他的种种关系和无限的前途，难道说这是公允的吗?
不，说实在的，这是不公允的。
一路上他心里就是这样揣摸着。可是比他早一脚踏进自己房间的罗伯达，心里也在反躬自问:
为什么克莱德突然对她这样冷淡?
这种突如其来的变故，到底是怎么一回事啊?
为什么他会在圣诞节前失约，那天晚上不来会面?
如今，当她马上就要动身回家时，为什么整整三天里，还包括圣诞节这一天，见他一面也见不到，他甚至连近在咫尺之间的方达都不愿陪她去。他自然会说因为要开会，这是真的为了要开会吗?
必要时，她可以等他，一直等到下午四点再动身，可她觉得这也很难，因为在他举止言谈之中……有些疏远与躲躲闪闪的味道。啊，这一切究竟意味着什么?
要知道他们之间这种关系，还是在不久前才建立啊。这种关系一开头，至少直到目前为止，好象要把他们不可分离地连在一起。难道说这一变化，预示着他们美妙的恋爱之梦将要遇到危险，甚至于破灭?
哦，老天哪!
她给了他那么多……如今，他的忠贞不渝，就是意味着一切……她的前途……她的生命。
她伫立在房间里，暗自思忖着这个新问题。这时克莱德来了，腋下夹着他要送给她的圣诞礼物，尽管心里还是毅然决然改变目前他跟罗伯达的关系，但是脸上却尽可能不露出异样的神色来。
"哦，我实在非常抱歉，伯特(罗伯达的昵称。)，"他兴冲冲地开了腔说，装出一副乐乐呵呵。富于同情，可又迟疑不决的样子。"我一点儿都不知道，直到两个钟头以前才来通知说要开这个会。不过，你会明白这样的事是常有的。就是想推也推不了的。亲爱的，你不会太难过吧?
"因为，他一看到她在此刻的脸色，以及她在厂里的神情，就知道她心里可难过极了。"幸亏我还有机会，能把这个东西捎给你，"他一面把礼物递给她，一面继续说下去。"我原想昨儿晚上带来的，只是因为有赴宴一事。哦，为了这件事，我总是感到非常抱歉。真的非常抱歉。
"要是在昨天晚上送给她，说不定她会多高兴呀，可是现在，罗伯达只是把礼盒往桌子上一撂，本来这件礼物也许会激起她的全部热情，此刻早已消失殆尽。
"亲爱的，昨儿晚上你过得很快活吗?
"她开口问，心里急急乎想知道把他从她身边夺走的这事具体细节。
"哦，满不错，"克莱德回答时，竭力装出满不在乎的样子，因为这一夜晚，对他来说是那么意味深长，可对她来说却将招致多大的危险。"我原以为只是到伯父家去吃晚饭，正如当时我对你所说那样。不料我一到了那儿，方才知道他们实际上要我陪贝拉和麦拉去格洛弗斯维尔赴会呢。那儿有一户巨富人家……斯蒂尔家……是开手套厂的大老板，你知道吧。哦，反正他们要开个舞会，他们就是要我陪她们一块去，因为吉尔去不了。不过到了那儿并不觉得特别有趣。
我很高兴这舞会好歹结束了。"他提到贝拉。麦拉。吉尔伯特时都是直呼其名，仿佛是他叫惯了似的……他跟格里菲思家这种亲密的关系，一定给罗伯达留下了深刻印象。
"那你就不好早点走，上这儿来看我呢?
""不，我可走不了，因为我得等她们，跟这一拨人一块回来。我就是脱身不开呀。哦，难道你还不想把礼物打开看一看?
"他找补着说，恨不得把她的心思从他昨晚失约一事岔开。他知道:
她一想到这件事，就很伤心。
她开始把礼物的缎带解开，心里却在琢磨，他不得不提到的舞会，究竟还有什么事。除了贝拉和麦拉以外，还有哪些姑娘也参加斯蒂尔家舞会?
除了她自己以外，最近他会不会爱上别的姑娘，并且还跟这个姑娘在那里见面呢?
他动不动就讲到桑德拉。芬奇利。伯蒂娜。克兰斯顿。杰尔。特朗布尔。也许她们也参加了这次舞会呢?
"除了你的堂妹以外，还有谁赴会?
"她突然开口问。
"哦，有好多人你可不认得的。附近各地来了二三十个人。""除了你堂妹以外，还有什么人是从莱柯格斯来的?
"她一个劲儿追问。
"哦，有好几个。我们跟杰尔。特朗布尔她们姐妹俩一块去的，因为这是贝拉的意思。我们一到那儿，阿拉贝拉。斯塔克。珀利。海恩斯早已在那儿了。"他就是只字不提桑德拉，或是其他对他很感兴趣的人。
可是瞧他说话时那种神色，他的语气和目光里都让人觉得有些异样的东西。
因此，他这个回答并不能使罗伯达感到满意。她虽然对这一新的事态发展的确深感不安，但是，要在眼前继续盘问克莱德，她觉得也不太合适。也许他会恼火的。毕竟从她认识他以来，他总是和这些上流社会的人连在一起。可她并不希望他会猜疑，好象她企图有权控制他，尽管她内心深处确是这么想的。
"昨天晚上，我可巴不得跟你在一起，好把礼物送给你，"她改换口气回答说，一来是想驱散自己的忡忡忧心，二来是希望唤起他对她的同情。克莱德听得出她语气里伤心的味儿，如同往日里一样顿时使他心软下来，只不过现在他已不可能。也不能容忍它象过去那样支配他了。
"不过，你也明白这是怎么一回事，伯特，"他简直是在虚张声势地回答说。
"刚才我都告诉你啦。""我知道，"她伤心地回答说，竭力掩饰此刻自己心中真实的情绪。与此同时，她撕开包装纸，把装着化妆品的盒子盖打开了。这时，她的心绪稍微起了点变化，因为这样珍贵。这样别致的东西，过去她还从来没有过。"哦，这可有多美呀!
"她大声嚷了出来，情不自禁感到很喜爱。"我没指望你会送这样的东西。相比之下，我那两个小小的礼物，也就算不上什么啦。"她立时走过去拿她的礼物。可是，克莱德也看到，尽管他的礼物不同凡响，但还是不足以驱散罗伯达心中由于他那冷淡态度所产生的沮丧情绪。他忠贞不渝的爱情，远比任何礼物珍贵得多。
"你喜欢吗?
"他开口问她，妄想这件礼物能把她的注意力岔开去。
"当然喜欢罗，亲爱的，"她一面回答说，一面兴致勃勃地看着礼物。"不过，我的东西也就太寒伧啦，"她郁郁不乐地找补着说。她为自己的全盘计划落了空而很难过。"不过，这些对你还是很有用的，而且常常在你身边，在你胸口，这就是我的本意所在。"她把一个小盒递给了他，小盒里面有一支永久牌金属铅笔，一支缀有银饰的自来水笔。她特地为他选购的，觉得他在厂里工作时就用得着。要是在两星期以前，说不定他还会热烈地搂住她，为了他给她带来痛苦而竭力安慰她。可是现在呢，他只是伫立在那里，暗自寻思:
怎样去安慰她，既不要显得太疏远，又不流露出过去那种缱绻柔情。因此，他就对她送的礼物说了一通热情而空洞的话。
"哦，说真的，这些东西太好了，亲爱的，正是我最最需要的。当然罗，说真的，没有比你所送的东西更好的了。我经常用得着它们。"他故意装得满意极了，仔细端详着这两支笔，随后就插在自己口袋里，以备随时使用。看到她此刻在他面前垂头丧气，陷入沉思的神情……这是他们过去关系中全部魅力的缩影……他搂住了她，亲吻她。她长得很迷人，这是毫无疑问的。当她搂住他脖子呜咽哭泣时，他紧紧地搂住她，劝说她不必如此伤心，反正星期三她就回来的，往后一切照旧。这时，他心里却在想，刚才他说的不是真话，而且真怪，就在不久以前，他还是那么疼着她呢。令人惊讶的是，另外一个姑娘居然一下子就把他俘获了!
反正事实就是这样。尽管她也许以为他还是一如既往疼着她，但事实上，他并不是那样，而且，他永远也不会疼她了。因此，他心里真的替她难过哩。
此时此刻他的心情中似有一种异样的感觉，连罗伯达也都发觉了，尽管她正在听他说话，一任他的抚摸抱吻。但这些爱抚却连一丝儿真挚诚意也没有啊。
瞧他神态太不安详，抱吻太冷淡，说话听不出有一点儿真正温柔的语调。还有一点也可以佐证:
过了一会儿，他就拚命从她搂抱中脱身出来，看看表说:
"我看我该走了，亲爱的。现在三点差二十分，而会议定在三点钟开。我真的巴不得陪你一块去，但是现在没办法……反正你一回来，我再来看你。"他俯下身来吻了她一下，这一回罗伯达终于觉察到:
他对她的感情已经变了，比前时冷淡得多。尽管他表现得还算温和客气，可他的心却离她远去了……也是正当这一年中这么一个特定的季节里，永远地离她远去了。她竭力振作起精神来，唤起她的自尊心……这好歹也算做到了……最后她相当冷漠而又果断地说:
"好吧，我可不会让你迟到的，克莱德。你还是赶紧走吧。不过，我在家可不会待得太久的。要是提早在圣诞节下午回来，你说说，你能来吧?
我可不希望星期三上班迟到。""怎么啦，当然罗，亲爱的，我一定来，"克莱德乐呵呵地，甚至热乎乎地回答说，因为他知道那时候自己没有什么约会，何况自己也不愿那么显眼地一下子就回避她。"那你估摸一下什么时候到?
"她说八点钟回来。他暗自思忖，反正借此机会同她再幽会一次也未尝不可。
他又把表掏了出来，看了一下说:
"不过，现在我该走了，"说着径直朝门口走去。
这一切到底是怎么回事，前途又会是怎样，她心里确实忐忑不安，于是朝他走过去，揪住了他的衣襟，直勾勾地望着他的眼睛，象是恳求。又象是质问地说:
"现在就说定你在圣诞节晚上来我这儿，是不是，克莱德?
到时候你不会再去别处赴会吧?
""哦，你尽管放心得了。要知道你是了解我的。你也知道昨儿晚上我可实在没办法，亲爱的。不过星期二我准定来，"他回答说。他吻了一下她，急冲冲往外走了，心里也许觉得自己表演得还不够高明，不过，除此以外，他也闹不清究竟还有什么其他绝招，一个男人倘若想要跟一个姑娘断绝往来，如同现在他这样设法去做，或者至少想要这么做，克莱德心里琢磨，那就非得要一点滑头或是外交手腕不可。说实话，他既没有道理，更谈不上真有能耐。当然罗，也许还会有其他更好办法吧。这时，他的心儿早已飞向桑德拉，和她一起欢度除夕。他要跟她一块到谢内克塔迪赴会去，那时他就有机会看清楚，她到底会不会象前天晚上那样还疼着他。
他走了，罗伯达转过身来，伤心地。沮丧地探出窗外直望着他的背影，心里纳闷，真不知道自己寄望于他的前途将会怎样。万一他不喜欢她了，该怎么办。要知道她已经给了他那么多……而她的前途全由他和他忠贞不渝的爱情所决定。难道说现在他已经对她厌倦了……再也不想见她了吗?
哦，那多可怕。那她该怎么办……而事实上又能怎么办?
要是她没有马上屈从他的要求，轻易地委身给他，那就好了。
她两眼凝望着窗外光秃秃的。挂着点点残雪的树桠枝，叹了一口气。节日啊!
她就怀着这样的心情动身回家。啊!
再说，克莱德在当地社会地位已是那么高，而且前途无限光明。美好，试问她自己又能给他些什么呢?
她疑惧不安地摇摇头，对照镜子端详了一下自己的脸容，便提着她要捎回家去的一点点礼品之类东西出门了。
收听单词发音 |
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concoct
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| v.调合，制造 | |
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decided
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| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
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awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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blues
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| n.抑郁，沮丧；布鲁斯音乐 | |
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repent
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| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
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blanched
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| v.使变白( blanch的过去式 )；使（植物）不见阳光而变白；酸洗（金属）使有光泽；用沸水烫（杏仁等）以便去皮 | |
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longings
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| 渴望，盼望( longing的名词复数 ) | |
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prospects
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| n.希望，前途(恒为复数) | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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loyalty
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| n.忠诚，忠心 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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gee
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| n.马；int.向右！前进！，惊讶时所发声音；v.向右转 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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zest
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| n.乐趣；滋味，风味；兴趣 | |
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banished
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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queried
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| v.质疑，对…表示疑问( query的过去式和过去分词 )；询问 | |
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deceptive
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| adj.骗人的，造成假象的，靠不住的 | |
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preying
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| v.掠食( prey的现在分词 )；掠食；折磨；（人）靠欺诈为生 | |
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untie
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| vt.解开，松开；解放 | |
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riveted
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| 铆接( rivet的过去式和过去分词 )； 把…固定住； 吸引； 引起某人的注意 | |
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stark
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| adj.荒凉的；严酷的；完全的；adv.完全地 | |
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flick
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| n.快速的轻打，轻打声，弹开；v.轻弹，轻轻拂去，忽然摇动 | |
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importune
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| v.强求；不断请求 | |
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bravado
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| n.虚张声势，故作勇敢，逞能 | |
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conceal
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| v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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depressed
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| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
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ornamental
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| adj.装饰的；作装饰用的；n.装饰品；观赏植物 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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assuage
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| v.缓和，减轻，镇定 | |
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demonstrations
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| 证明( demonstration的名词复数 )； 表明； 表达； 游行示威 | |
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swell
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| vi.膨胀，肿胀；增长，增强 | |
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lure
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| n.吸引人的东西，诱惑物；vt.引诱，吸引 | |
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winsome
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| n.迷人的，漂亮的 | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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apathetic
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| adj.冷漠的，无动于衷的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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determinedly
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| adv.决意地；坚决地，坚定地 | |
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genially
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| adv.亲切地，和蔼地；快活地 | |
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evade
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| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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acting
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| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
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tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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diplomacy
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| n.外交；外交手腕，交际手腕 | |
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dubiously
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| adv.可疑地，怀疑地 | |
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