Part 2 Chapter 41

The fifth of June arriving, the Finchleys departed as Sondra had indicated, but not without a most urgent requestfrom her that he be prepared to come to the Cranstons' either the second or third week-end following--she toadvise him definitely later--a departure which so affected¹ Clyde that he could scarcely think what to do withhimself in her absence, depressed² as he was by the tangle³ which Roberta's condition presented. And exactly atthis time also, Roberta's fears and demands had become so urgent that it was really no longer possible for him toassure her that if she would but wait a little while longer, he would be prepared to act in her behalf. Plead as hemight, her case, as she saw it, was at last critical and no longer to be trifled with in any way. Her figure, as sheinsisted (although this was largely imaginative on her part), had altered to such an extent that it would not bepossible for her longer to conceal⁴ it, and all those who worked with her at the factory were soon bound to know.

　　She could no longer work or sleep with any comfort--she must not stay here any more. She was havingpreliminary pains--purely imaginary ones in her case. He must marry her now, as he had indicated he would, andleave with her at once--for some place--any place, really--near or far--so long as she was extricated⁵ from thispresent terrible danger. And she would agree, as she now all but pleaded, to let him go his way again as soon astheir child was born--truly--and would not ask any more of him ever--ever. But now, this very week--not laterthan the fifteenth at the latest--he must arrange to see her through with this as he had promised.

　　But this meant that he would be leaving with her before ever he should have visited Sondra at Twelfth Lake atall, and without ever seeing her any more really. And, besides, as he so well knew, he had not saved the sumnecessary to make possible the new venture on which she was insisting. In vain it was that Roberta nowexplained that she had saved over a hundred, and they could make use of that once they were married or to helpin connection with whatever expenses might be incurred⁶ in getting to wherever he should decide they weregoing. All that he would see or feel was that this meant the loss of everything to him, and that he would have togo away with her to some relatively⁷ near-by place and get work at anything he could, in order to support her asbest he might. But the misery⁸ of such a change! The loss of all his splendid dreams. And yet, racking his brains,he could think of nothing better than that she should quit and go home for the time being, since as he nowargued, and most shrewdly, as he thought, he needed a few more weeks to prepare for the change which wasupon them both. For, in spite of all his efforts, as he now falsely asserted, he had not been able to save as muchas he had hoped. He needed at least three or four more weeks in which to complete the sum, which he had beenlooking upon as advisable in the face of this meditated⁹ change. Was not she herself guessing, as he knew, that itcould not be less than a hundred and fifty or two hundred dollars--quite large sums in her eyes--whereas, abovehis current salary, Clyde had no more than forty dollars and was dreaming of using that and whatever else hemight secure in the interim¹⁰ to meet such expenses as might be incurred in the anticipated visit to Twelfth Lake.

　　But to further support his evasive suggestion that she now return to her home for a short period, he added thatshe would want to fix herself up a little, wouldn't she? She couldn't go away on a trip like this, which involvedmarriage and a change of social contacts in every way, without some improvements in her wardrobe. Why nottake her hundred dollars or a part of it anyhow and use it for that? So desperate was his state that he evensuggested that. And Roberta, who, in the face of her own uncertainty¹¹ up to this time as to what was to become ofher had not ventured to prepare or purchase anything relating either to a trousseau or layette, now began to thinkthat whatever the ulterior purpose of his suggestion, which like all the others was connected with delay, it mightnot be unwise even now if she did take a fortnight or three weeks, and with the assistance of an inexpensive andyet tolerable dressmaker, who had aided her sister at times, make at least one or two suitable dresses--a floweredgray taffeta afternoon dress, such as she had once seen in a movie, in which, should Clyde keep his word, she could be married. To match this pleasing little costume, she planned to add a chic¹² little gray silk hat--pokeshaped,with pink or scarlet¹³ cherries nestled up under the brim, together with a neat little blue serge travelingsuit, which, with brown shoes and a brown hat, would make her as smart as any bride. The fact that suchpreparations as these meant additional delay and expense, or that Clyde might not marry her after all, or that thisproposed marriage from the point of view of both was the tarnished¹⁴ and discolored thing that it was, was still notsufficient to take from the thought of marriage as an event, or sacrament even, that proper color and romancewith which it was invested in her eyes and from which, even under such an unsatisfactory set of circumstances asthese, it could not be divorced. And, strangely enough, in spite of all the troubled and strained relations that haddeveloped between them, she still saw Clyde in much the same light in which she had seen him at first. He was aGriffiths, a youth of genuine social, if not financial distinction, one whom all the girls in her position, as well asmany of those far above her, would be delighted to be connected with in this way--that is, via marriage. He mightbe objecting to marrying her, but he was a person of consequence, just the same. And one with whom, if hewould but trouble to care for her a little, she could be perfectly¹⁵ happy. And at any rate, once he had loved her.

　　And it was said of men--some men, anyway (so she had heard her mother and others say) that once a child waspresented to them, it made a great difference in their attitude toward the mother, sometimes. They came to likethe mother, too. Anyhow for a little while--a very little while--if what she had agreed to were strictly¹⁶ observed,she would have him with her to assist her through this great crisis--to give his name to her child--to aid her untilshe could once more establish herself in some way.

　　For the time being, therefore, and with no more plan than this, although with great misgivings¹⁷ and nervousqualms, since, as she could see, Clyde was decidedly indifferent, she rested on this. And it was in this mood thatfive days later, and after Roberta had written to her parents that she was coming home for two weeks at least, toget a dress or two made and to rest a little, because she was not feeling very well, that Clyde saw her off for herhome in Biltz, riding with her as far as Fonda. But in so far as he was concerned, and since he had really nodefinite or workable idea, it seemed important to him that only silence, SILENCE was the great and all essentialthing now, so that, even under the impending¹⁸ edge of the knife of disaster, he might be able to think more, andmore, and more, without being compelled to do anything, and without momentarily being tortured by the thoughtthat Roberta, in some nervous or moody¹⁹ or frantic²⁰ state, would say or do something which, assuming that heshould hit upon some helpful thought or plan in connection with Sondra, would prevent him from executing it.

　　And about the same time, Sondra was writing him gay notes from Twelfth Lake as to what he might expect uponhis arrival a little later. Blue water--white sails--tennis--golf-horseback riding--driving. She had it all arrangedwith Bertine, as she said. And kisses--kisses--kisses!

到了六月五日，芬奇利一家人果然全走了，正如桑德拉早就说过，而且还不止一次提醒克莱德做好一切准备，以便在第二个或第三个周末……具体日期，以后她会通知他的……去克兰斯顿家。桑德拉一走，克莱德心里乱了套。因为她不在这里了，他便不知道怎么办才好，而他跟罗伯达那种纠缠不清的关系，却使他心里感到非常难受。恰好就在这个时候，罗伯达的恐惧和要求越来越紧迫了，再也没法安慰她，说什么只要再等一下他便准备设法帮助她。不管他怎么进行辩解，她心里明白，她的症状终于到了危急关头，再也不能视同儿戏了。

她的身子，正如她一个劲儿说(虽说这多半出于她自己的恐惧心理吧)已经完全变了样，叫她再也掩盖不住了，因此马上就会被所有跟她在厂里一块干活的人所发觉。她再也不能安心干活，或者安心睡觉了……在这儿，她断断乎再也待不下去了。她已经感到了有点儿初期疼痛……这纯属她的恐惧所致。克莱德必须照他过去所说的，现在就跟她结婚，马上跟她一块走……到某一个地方去……说实话……近也好，远也好……反正到哪儿都行……只要她能安渡过这次可怕的难关。而且她同意(现在她几乎苦苦哀求)只要他们的孩子一出生，就让他离开她……千真万确……而且永远再也不向他要求什么……永远。永远不会。不过现在，就是眼前这个星期……至迟不能超过十五日……他必须照他过去答应过那样，帮助她渡过难关。

这一切就是说，克莱德在他到第十二号湖去看桑德拉以前，就得跟她一块出走，以后真的再也见不到她了。此外，他自己心里也很清楚，她硬要进行新的冒险，少不了就要花钱，而那笔钱迄今他还没有积攒好。罗伯达虽然对他说，她自己积蓄了一百多块美元，只要他们一结婚，这笔钱他们就可以动用了，或是只要他一决定迁出莱柯格斯到外地去，这笔钱也可以拿来贴补贴补。尽管她明明说过，还是好象白说了一样。他心里意识别的，只有一个问题:

这意味着他所有一切就都得牺牲了。而且，为了尽自己力量赡养她，他不得不跟她一块到附近不太远的地方去，只好有什么活就干什么活了。可是，这一变，该有多惨!

他所有的美梦全都破灭了。不过，哪怕他绞尽脑汁也想不出更好的办法来，除了只好让她暂时离开这儿回老家去。现在他居然这么说……而且自以为说得鬼极了……依他看，应付即将临到他们两人头上的这一变故，他好歹也得要有几个星期准备啊。他还一再撒谎说，他尽管作出了种种努力，迄今还没能象自己预期那样积下一笔钱。他至少还得要有三四个星期才能把这个数目凑齐。据他估摸，要应付他们设想过的这次变故，这么一个数目已是必不可少了。此刻他还记得，不是她自己也估计过，说至少得一百五十块美元或是两百块美元吗……在她眼里，这是一笔相当大的数目了……然而，事实上，克莱德除了每月薪水以外，倾其所有，也只不过四十块美元罢了……而他却梦想拿了这一点钱和临行前还可能寻摸到。也不管究竟能有多少的钱，作为拟议中第十二号湖上之行的花销。

不过，克莱德为了使自己劝说她暂时先回家这一闪烁其词的建议更加富有说服力，便找补着说，也许她不是多少也得做点准备吗?

她这次回娘家，内容涉及到自己出嫁，甚至连各方面的社会关系都会有所改变，总不能不添置一点衣服就走了吧。为什么不先拿她这一百块美元(或者哪怕只是里头的一部分)来派个用场呢?

克莱德实在是急得没办法了，只好连这么个馊主意都给抛出来了。罗伯达因为对自己的前途迄今还是一点儿也说不准，所以不管是自己妆奁也好，还是新生婴儿用品也好，既不敢买，也没有缝制。可现在她想，不管他这个主意有没有险恶的用心，反正跟他所有的主意一样，总是跟一再延宕有关，其实，她自己心里早就有了谱，她未尝不可花上两三个星期时间，找一个有时给她妹妹帮忙的裁缝，花钱不多，手工还算过得去，至少要做一两件合适的衣服……有一件是灰底带花塔夫绸连衣裙，准备午后穿的，就照她在电影里见过的那种款式做……要是克莱德过去说的话算数，举行婚礼时，她还可以穿上这一件呢。

这是一件惹人喜欢的漂亮时装，为了陪衬出它的美来，她打算再做一只飘逸潇洒的小小的灰色缎子帽……要有撑边的女帽的那一种款式，并有淡红色或深红色樱桃紧偎着作为帽饰，另加一身素雅的蓝哗叽旅行装，倘若一配上棕色鞋。

棕色帽，她那动人的丰采决不会逊于任何一位新娘了。尽管这些准备意味着又得稽延时日，还要耗费不少钱，尽管克莱德压根儿不可能跟她结婚;而且这种拟议中的结婚在他们俩看来早已是褪了色。黯淡无光了，事实上确实也是如此……但是，不管怎么说，始终改变不了她的想法:

结婚是一个人的终身大事，甚至是庄严有如圣礼，在她心目中还富有特殊的魅力与罗曼蒂克情调，哪怕是在目前这种很不如意的情况之下，也这么想。说来也真怪，尽管他们之间产生了那么令人烦恼的僵局，罗伯达还是用最初见到他时那种眼光来看待克莱德。他是格里菲思家族的一个成员，一个地地道道的上流社会里的年轻人，虽然他不是很有钱。她那个圈子里所有的姑娘，以及许许多多出身比她高得多的姑娘也都乐于用这种方式与他联系在一起……也就是说嫁给他。也许他并不愿意跟她结婚，但不管怎么说，他还是一个重要人物。唯有跟他在一起，她才可以说得到了无上幸福，哪怕他只有一点儿喜欢她。反正过去他确实是爱她的。据说，凡是男人，至少说有些男人是这样(她听见母亲和一些熟人说过的)，只要一添了新生婴儿，他们态度有时就大变，甚至连孩子的妈也都喜欢起来了。不管怎么说，只要她同意过的那些条件他能够严格遵守，那她就可以有那么短短的一段时间……很短的一段时间……有他守在自己身边，帮助她渡过这个难关……把他的名字传给她的孩子……支持她一直到她又能完全自立为止。

既然除此以外她没有其他的设想，所以，她就只好暂时聊以自慰，虽然她心里还是非常疑惧，并且深感悔恨，因为她看得出，克莱德显然对她漠不关心。

于是，就在这种心境下，过了五天，罗伯达动身回家去了。(事前给她父母写了信，说她要回家来了，因为她觉得自己身体不太舒服。)那天她动身回比尔茨，克莱德给她送行，跟她一块搭车直到方达才分手。不过，就他来说，因为他实在没有什么明确的想法，或是行得通的办法，因此，他觉得唯有缄默才最重要。

此刻他觉得只有缄默才是绝顶重要的事，以便即使在灾难的利刃悬在他头顶上时他还能想得更多些，更多些，更多些，不被她逼着去做自己不乐意做的事，也暂时不会被这么一种担忧所折磨，那就是，深怕罗伯达在惊慌。忧郁，或是疯狂的心态下可能会说的或做的将使他拟就的跟桑德拉有关的某个好计划无法实现……倘若他想得出这么一个好计划的话。

差不多就在这个时候，桑德拉从第十二号湖畔写给了他一些充满欢乐气氛的信，谈到不久以后他一到那儿将有一些什么事情等待着他。碧水……白帆……网球……高尔夫球……遛马……开汽车兜风，这一切，正如她前次所说的那样，她已经跟伯蒂娜全都商量好了。此外还有亲吻。亲吻。亲吻!

1 affected   

adj.不自然的，假装的

参考例句：

• She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
• His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。

2 depressed   

adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的

参考例句：

• When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
• His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。

3 tangle   

n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱

参考例句：

• I shouldn't tangle with Peter.He is bigger than me.我不应该与彼特吵架。他的块头比我大。
• If I were you, I wouldn't tangle with them.我要是你，我就不跟他们争吵。

4 conceal   

v.隐藏，隐瞒，隐蔽

参考例句：

• He had to conceal his identity to escape the police.为了躲避警方，他只好隐瞒身份。
• He could hardly conceal his joy at his departure.他几乎掩饰不住临行时的喜悦。

5 extricated   

v.使摆脱困难，脱身( extricate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• The meeting seemed to be endless, but I extricated myself by saying I had to catch a plane. 会议好象没完没了，不过我说我得赶飞机，才得以脱身。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She extricated herself from her mingled impulse to deny and guestion. 她约束了自己想否认并追问的不可明状的冲动。 来自辞典例句

6 incurred   

[医]招致的，遭受的； incur的过去式

参考例句：

• She had incurred the wrath of her father by marrying without his consent 她未经父亲同意就结婚，使父亲震怒。
• We will reimburse any expenses incurred. 我们将付还所有相关费用。

7 relatively   

adv.比较...地，相对地

参考例句：

• The rabbit is a relatively recent introduction in Australia.兔子是相对较新引入澳大利亚的物种。
• The operation was relatively painless.手术相对来说不痛。

8 misery   

n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦

参考例句：

• Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
• He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。

9 meditated   

深思，沉思，冥想( meditate的过去式和过去分词 )； 内心策划，考虑

参考例句：

• He meditated for two days before giving his answer. 他在作出答复之前考虑了两天。
• She meditated for 2 days before giving her answer. 她考虑了两天才答复。

10 interim   

adj.暂时的，临时的；n.间歇，过渡期间

参考例句：

• The government is taking interim measures to help those in immediate need.政府正在采取临时措施帮助那些有立即需要的人。
• It may turn out to be an interim technology.这可能只是个过渡技术。

11 uncertainty   

n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物

参考例句：

• Her comments will add to the uncertainty of the situation.她的批评将会使局势更加不稳定。
• After six weeks of uncertainty,the strain was beginning to take its toll.6个星期的忐忑不安后，压力开始产生影响了。

12 chic   

n./adj.别致(的)，时髦(的)，讲究的

参考例句：

• She bought a chic little hat.她买了一顶别致的小帽子。
• The chic restaurant is patronized by many celebrities.这家时髦的饭店常有名人光顾。

13 scarlet   

n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的

参考例句：

• The scarlet leaves of the maples contrast well with the dark green of the pines.深红的枫叶和暗绿的松树形成了明显的对比。
• The glowing clouds are growing slowly pale,scarlet,bright red,and then light red.天空的霞光渐渐地淡下去了，深红的颜色变成了绯红，绯红又变为浅红。

14 tarnished   

（通常指金属）（使）失去光泽，（使）变灰暗( tarnish的过去式和过去分词 )； 玷污，败坏

参考例句：

• The mirrors had tarnished with age. 这些镜子因年深日久而照影不清楚。
• His bad behaviour has tarnished the good name of the school. 他行为不轨，败坏了学校的声誉。

15 perfectly   

adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地

参考例句：

• The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定。
• Everything that we're doing is all perfectly above board.我们做的每件事情都是光明正大的。

16 strictly   

adv.严厉地，严格地；严密地

参考例句：

• His doctor is dieting him strictly.他的医生严格规定他的饮食。
• The guests were seated strictly in order of precedence.客人严格按照地位高低就座。

17 misgivings   

n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧

参考例句：

• I had grave misgivings about making the trip. 对于这次旅行我有过极大的顾虑。
• Don't be overtaken by misgivings and fear. Just go full stream ahead! 不要瞻前顾后， 畏首畏尾。甩开膀子干吧！ 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》

18 impending   

a.imminent, about to come or happen

参考例句：

• Against a background of impending famine, heavy fighting took place. 即将发生饥荒之时，严重的战乱爆发了。
• The king convoke parliament to cope with the impending danger. 国王召开国会以应付迫近眉睫的危险。

19 moody   

adj.心情不稳的，易怒的，喜怒无常的

参考例句：

• He relapsed into a moody silence.他又重新陷于忧郁的沉默中。
• I'd never marry that girl.She's so moody.我决不会和那女孩结婚的。她太易怒了。

20 frantic   

adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的

参考例句：

• I've had a frantic rush to get my work done.我急急忙忙地赶完工作。
• He made frantic dash for the departing train.他发疯似地冲向正开出的火车。