Yet a thought such as that of the lake, connected as it was with the predicament by which he was being faced,and shrink from it though he might, was not to be dismissed as easily as he desired. Born as it was of itsaccidental relation to this personal problem that was shaking and troubling and all but disarranging his ownnone-too-forceful mind, this smooth, seemingly blameless, if dreadful, blotting2 out of two lives at Pass Lake, hadits weight. That girl's body--as some peculiar3 force in his own brain now still compelled him to think--beingfound, but the man's not. In that interesting fact--and this quite in spite of himself--lurked a suggestion thatinsisted upon obtruding4 itself on his mind--to wit, that it might be possible that the man's body was not in thatlake at all. For, since evil-minded people did occasionally desire to get rid of other people, might it not bepossible that that man had gone there with that girl in order to get rid of her? A very smooth and devilish trick, ofcourse, but one which, in this instance at least, seemed to have succeeded admirably.
But as for him accepting such an evil suggestion and acting5 upon it . . . never! Yet here was his own problemgrowing hourly more desperate, since every day, or at least every other day, brought him either letters fromRoberta or a note from Sondra--their respective missives maintaining the same relative contrast between ease andmisery, gayety of mood and the somberness of defeat and uncertainty6.
To Roberta, since he would not write her, he was telephoning briefly7 and in as non-committal a manner aspossible. How was she? He was so glad to hear from her and to know that she was out in the country and athome, where it must be much nicer than in the factory here in this weather. Everything was going smoothly8, ofcourse, and except for a sudden rush of orders which made it rather hard these last two days, all was as before.
He was doing his best to save a certain amount of money for a certain project about which she knew, butotherwise he was not worrying about anything--and she must not. He had not written before because of the work,and could not write much--there were so many things to do--but he missed seeing her in her old place, and waslooking forward to seeing her again soon. If she were coming down toward Lycurgus as she said, and reallythought it important to see him, well, that could be arranged, maybe--but was it necessary right now? He was sovery busy and expected to see her later, of course.
But at the same time he was writing Sondra that assuredly on the eighteenth, and the week-end following, ifpossible, he would be with her.
So, by virtue9 of such mental prestidigitation and tergiversation, inspired and animated10 as it was by his desire forSondra, his inability to face the facts in connection with Roberta, he achieved the much-coveted privilege ofagain seeing her, over one week-end at least, and in such a setting as never before in his life had he beenprivileged to witness.
For as he came down to the public dock at Sharon, adjoining the veranda11 of the inn at the foot of Twelfth Lake,he was met by Bertine and her brother as well as Sondra, who, in Grant's launch, had motored down the Chain topick him up. The bright blue waters of the Indian Chain. The tall, dark, spear pines that sentineled the shores oneither side and gave to the waters at the west a band of black shadow where the trees were mirrored so clearly.
The small and large, white and pink and green and brown lodges12 on every hand, with their boathouses. Pavilionsby the shore. An occasional slender pier14 reaching out from some spacious15 and at times stately summer lodge13,such as those now owned by the Cranstons, Finchleys and others. The green and blue canoes and launches. Thegay hotel and pavilion at Pine Point already smartly attended by the early arrivals here! And then the pier andboathouse of the Cranston Lodge itself, with two Russian wolfhounds recently acquired by Bertine lying on thegrass near the shore, apparently16 awaiting her return, and a servant John, one of a half dozen who attended thefamily here, waiting to take the single bag of Clyde, his tennis racquet and golf sticks. But most of all he wasimpressed by the large rambling17 and yet smartly-designed house, with its bright geranium-bordered walks, itswide, brown, wicker-studded veranda commanding a beautiful view of the lake; the cars and personalities18 of thevarious guests, who in golf, tennis or lounging clothes were to be seen idling here and there.
At Bertine's request, John at once showed him to a spacious room overlooking the lake, where it was hisprivilege now to bathe and change for tennis with Sondra, Bertine and Grant. After dinner, as explained bySondra, who was over at Bertine's for the occasion, he was to come over with Bertine and Grant to the Casino,where he would be introduced to such as all here knew. There was to be dancing. To-morrow, in the morningearly, before breakfast, if he chose--he should ride with her and Bertine and Stuart along a wonderful woodlandtrail through the forests to the west which led to Inspiration Point and a more distant view of the lake. And, as henow learned, except for a few such paths as this, the forest was trackless for forty miles. Without a compass orguide, as he was told, one might wander to one's death even--so evasive were directions to those who did notknow. And after breakfast and a swim she and Bertine and Nina Temple would demonstrate their new skill withSondra's aquaplane. After that, lunch, tennis, or golf, a trip to the Casino for tea. After dinner at the lodge of theBrookshaws of Utica across the lake, there was to be dancing.
Within an hour after his arrival, as Clyde could see, the program for the week-end was already full. But that heand Sondra would contrive19 not only moments but possibly hours together he well knew. And then he would seewhat new delight, in connection with her many-faceted temperament20, the wonderful occasion would provide. Tohim, in spite of the dour21 burden of Roberta, which for this one week-end at least he could lay aside, it was asthough he were in Paradise.
And on the tennis grounds of the Cranstons, it seemed as though never before had Sondra, attired22 in a short,severe white tennis skirt and blouse, with a yellow-and-green dotted handkerchief tied about her hair, seemed sogay, graceful23 and happy. The smile that was upon her lips! The gay, laughing light of promise that was in her eyes whenever she glanced at him! And now and then, in running to serve him, it was as though she were poisedbird-like in flight--her racquet arm high, a single toe seeming barely to touch the ground, her head thrown back,her lips parted and smiling always. And in calling twenty love, thirty love, forty love, it was always with alaughing accent on the word love, which at once thrilled and saddened him, as he saw, and rejoiced in from onepoint of view, she was his to take, if only he were free to take her now. But this other black barrier which hehimself had built!
And then this scene, where a bright sun poured a flood of crystal light upon a greensward that stretched from tallpines to the silver rippling24 waters of a lake. And off shore in a half dozen different directions the bright whitesails of small boats--the white and green and yellow splashes of color, where canoes paddled by idling loverswere passing in the sun! Summertime--leisure--warmth--color--ease--beauty--love--all that he had dreamed ofthe summer before, when he was so very much alone.
At moments it seemed to Clyde that he would reel from very joy of the certain fulfillment of a great desire, thatwas all but immediately within his control; at other times (the thought of Roberta sweeping26 down upon him as anicy wind), as though nothing could be more sad, terrible, numbing27 to the dreams of beauty, love and happinessthan this which now threatened him. That terrible item about the lake and those two people drowned! Theprobability that in spite of his wild plan within a week, or two or three at most, he would have to leave all thisforever. And then of a sudden he would wake to realize that he was fumbling28 or playing badly--that Bertine orSondra or Grant was calling: "Oh, Clyde, what are you thinking of, anyhow?" And from the darkest depths of hisheart he would have answered, had he spoken, "Roberta."At the Brookshaws', again that evening, a smart company of friends of Sondra's, Bertine's and others. On thedance floor a reencounter with Sondra, all smiles, for she was pretending for the benefit of others here--hermother and father in particular--that she had not seen Clyde before--did not even know that he was here.
"You up here? That's great. Over at the Cranstons'? Oh, isn't that dandy? Right next door to us. Well, we'll see alot of each other, what? How about a canter to-morrow before seven? Bertine and I go nearly every day. Andwe'll have a picnic tomorrow, if nothing interferes31, canoeing and motoring. Don't worry about not riding well. I'llget Bertine to let you have Jerry--he's just a sheep. And you don't need to worry about togs, either. Grant hasscads of things. I'll dance the next two dances with others, but you sit out the third one with me, will you? I knowa peach of a place outside on the balcony."She was off with fingers extended but with a "we-understand-each-other" look in her eye. And outside in theshadow later she pulled his face to hers when no one was looking and kissed him eagerly, and, before theevening was over, they had managed, by strolling along a path which led away from the house along the lakeshore, to embrace under the moon.
"Sondra so glad Clydie here. Misses him so much." She smoothed his hair as he kissed her, and Clyde,bethinking him of the shadow which lay so darkly between them, crushed her feverishly32, desperately33. "Oh, mydarling baby girl," he exclaimed. "My beautiful, beautiful Sondra! If you only knew how much I love you! If youonly knew! I wish I could tell you ALL. I wish I could."But he could not now--or ever. He would never dare to speak to her of even so much as a phase of the black barrier that now lay between them. For, with her training, the standards of love and marriage that had been set forher, she would never understand, never be willing to make so great a sacrifice for love, as much as she lovedhim. And he would be left, abandoned on the instant, and with what horror in her eyes!
Yet looking into his eyes, his face white and tense, and the glow of the moon above making small white electricsparks in his eyes, she exclaimed as he gripped her tightly: "Does he love Sondra so much? Oh, sweetie boy!
Sondra loves him, too." She seized his head between her hands and held it tight, kissing him swiftly and ardentlya dozen times. "And Sondra won't give her Clydie up either. She won't. You just wait and see! It doesn't matterwhat happens now. It may not be so very easy, but she won't." Then as suddenly and practically, as so often washer way, she exclaimed: "But we must go now, right away. No, not another kiss now. No, no, Sondra says no,now. They'll be missing us." And straightening up and pulling him by the arm she hurried him back to the housein time to meet Palmer Thurston, who was looking for her.
The next morning, true to her promise, there was the canter to Inspiration Point, and that before seven--Bertineand Sondra in bright red riding coats and white breeches and black boots, their hair unbound and loose to thewind, and riding briskly on before for the most part; then racing34 back to where he was. Or Sondra halloing gaylyfor him to come on, or the two of them laughing and chatting a hundred yards ahead in some concealed35 chapel36 ofthe aisled37 trees where he could not see them. And because of the interest which Sondra was so obviouslymanifesting in him these days--an interest which Bertine herself had begun to feel might end in marriage, if nofamily complications arose to interfere30--she, Bertine, was all smiles, the very soul of cordiality, winsomelyinsisting that he should come up and stay for the summer and she would chaperon them both so that no onewould have a chance to complain. And Clyde thrilling, and yet brooding too--by turns--occasionally--and inspite of himself drifting back to the thought that the item in the paper had inspired--and yet fighting it--trying toshut it out entirely38.
And then at one point, Sondra, turning down a steep path which led to a stony39 and moss-lipped spring betweenthe dark trees, called to Clyde to "Come on down. Jerry knows the way. He won't slip. Come and get a drink. Ifyou do, you'll come back again soon--so they say."And once he was down and had dismounted to drink, she exclaimed: "I've been wanting to tell you something.
You should have seen Mamma's face last night when she heard you were up here. She can't be sure that I hadanything to do with it, of course, because she thinks that Bertine likes you, too. I made her think that. But just thesame she suspects that I had a hand in it, I guess, and she doesn't quite like it. But she can't say anything morethan she has before. And I had a talk with Bertine just now and she's agreed to stick by me and help me all shecan. But we'll have to be even more careful than ever now, because I think if Mamma got too suspicious I don'tknow what she might do--want us to leave here, even now maybe, just so I couldn't see you. You know she feelsthat I shouldn't be interested in any one yet except some one she likes. You know how it is. She's that way withStuart, too. But if you'll take care not to show that you care for me so much whenever we're around any one ofour crowd, I don't think she'll do anything--not now, anyhow. Later on, in the fall, when we're back in Lycurgus,things will be different. I'll be of age then, and I'm going to see what I can do. I never loved any one before, but Ido love you, and, well, I won't give you up, that's all. I won't. And they can't make me, either!"She stamped her foot and struck her boot, the while the two horses looked idly and vacantly about. And Clyde,enthused and astonished by this second definite declaration in his behalf, as well as fired by the thought that now, if ever, he might suggest the elopement and marriage and so rid himself of the sword that hung so threateninglyabove him, now gazed at Sondra, his eyes filled with a nervous hope and a nervous fear. For she might refuse,and change, too, shocked by the suddenness of his suggestion. And he had no money and no place in mind wherethey might go either, in case she accepted his proposal. But she had, perhaps, or she might have. And havingonce consented, might she not help him? Of course. At any rate, he felt that he must speak, leaving luck or illluck to the future.
And so he said: "Why couldn't you run away with me now, Sondra, darling? It's so long until fall and I want youso much. Why couldn't we? Your mother's not likely to want to let you marry me then, anyhow. But if we wentaway now, she couldn't help herself, could she? And afterwards, in a few months or so, you could write her andthen she wouldn't mind. Why couldn't we, Sondra?" His voice was very pleading, his eyes full of a sad dread1 ofrefusal-- and of the future that lay unprotected behind that.
And by now so caught was she by the tremor40 with which his mood invested him, that she paused--not reallyshocked by the suggestion at all--but decidedly moved, as well as flattered by the thought that she was able toevoke in Clyde so eager and headlong a passion. He was so impetuous--so blazing now with a flame of her owncreating, as she felt, yet which she was incapable41 of feeling as much as he, as she knew--such a flame as she hadnever seen in him or any one else before. And would it not be wonderful if she could run away with him now-secretly--to Canada or New York or Boston, or anywhere? The excitement her elopement would create here andelsewhere--in Lycurgus, Albany, Utica! The talk and feeling in her own family as well as elsewhere! And Gilbertwould be related to her in spite of him--and the Griffiths, too, whom her mother and father so much admired.
For a moment there was written in her eyes the desire and the determination almost, to do as he suggested--runaway--make a great lark42 of this, her intense and true love. For, once married, what could her parents do? Andwas not Clyde worthy43 of her and them, too? Of course--even though nearly all in her set fancied that he was notquite all he should be, just because he didn't have as much money as they had. But he would have--would henot--after he was married to her--and get as good a place in her father's business as Gil Griffiths had in hisfather's?
Yet a moment later, thinking of her life here and what her going off in such a way would mean to her father andmother just then--in the very beginning of the summer season--as well as how it would disrupt her own plans andcause her mother to feel especially angry, and perhaps even to bring about the dissolution of the marriage on theground that she was not of age, she paused--that gay light of adventure replaced by a marked trace of thepractical and the material that so persistently44 characterized her. What difference would a few months make,anyhow? It might, and no doubt would, save Clyde from being separated from her forever, whereas their presentcourse might insure their separation.
Accordingly she now shook her head in a certain, positive and yet affectionate way, which by now Clyde hadcome to know spelled defeat--the most painful and irremediable defeat that had yet come to him in connectionwith all this. She would not go! Then he was lost--lost--and she to him forever maybe. Oh, God! For while herface softened45 with a tenderness which was not usually there--even when she was most moved emotionally--shesaid: "I would, honey, if I did not think it best not to, now. It's too soon. Mamma isn't going to do anything rightnow. I know she isn't. Besides she has made all her plans to do a lot of entertaining here this summer, and for myparticular benefit. She wants me to be nice to--well, you know who I mean. And I can be, without doing anything to interfere with us in any way, I'm sure--so long as I don't do anything to really frighten her." She paused tosmile a reassuring46 smile. "But you can come up here as often as you choose, don't you see, and she and theseothers won't think anything of it, because you won't be our guest, don't you see? I've fixed47 all that with Bertine.
And that means that we can see each other all summer long up here, just about as much as we want to, don't yousee? Then in the fall, when I come back, and if I find that I can't make her be nice to you at all, or consider ourbeing engaged, why, I will run away with you. Yes, I will, darling--really and truly."Darling! The fall!
She stopped, her eyes showing a very shrewd conception of all the practical difficulties before them, while shetook both of his hands in hers and looked up into his face. Then, impulsively48 and conclusively49, she threw botharms about his neck and, pulling his head down, kissed him.
"Can't you see, dearie? Please don't look so sad, darling. Sondra loves her Clyde so much. And she'll do anythingand everything to make things come out right. Yes, she will. And they will, too. Now you wait and see. Shewon't give him up ever--ever!"And Clyde, realizing that he had not one moving argument wherewith to confront her, really--not one that mightnot cause her to think strangely and suspiciously of his intense anxiety, and that this, because of Roberta'sdemand, and unless--unless--well--, unless Roberta let him go it all spelled defeat for him, now looked gloomilyand even desperately upon her face. The beauty of her! The completeness of this world! And yet not to beallowed to possess her or it, ever. And Roberta with her demand and his promise in the immediate25 background!
And no way of escape save by flight! God!
At this point it was that a nervous and almost deranged50 look--never so definite or powerful at any time before inhis life--the border-line look between reason and unreason, no less--so powerful that the quality of it was evennoticeable to Sondra--came into his eyes. He looked sick, broken, unbelievably despairing. So much so that sheexclaimed, "Why, what is it, Clyde, dearie--you look so--oh, I can't say just how--forlorn or--Does he love meso much? And can't he wait just three or four months? But, oh, yes he can, too. It isn't as bad as he thinks. He'llbe with me most of the time--the lovekins will. And when he isn't, Sondra'll write him every day--every day.""But, Sondra! Sondra! If I could just tell you. If you knew how much it were going to mean to me--"He paused here, for as he could see at this point, into the expression of Sondra came a practical inquiry51 as towhat it was that made it so urgent for her to leave with him at once. And immediately, on his part, Clyde sensinghow enormous was the hold of this world on her--how integral a part of it she was--and how, by merely toomuch insistence52 here and now, he might so easily cause her to doubt the wisdom of her primary craze for him,was moved to desist, sure that if he spoke29 it would lead her to questioning him in such a way as might cause herto change--or at least to modify her enthusiasm to the point where even the dream of the fall might vanish.
And so, instead of explaining further why he needed a decision on her part, he merely desisted, saying: "It'sbecause I need you so much now, dear--all of the time. That's it, just that. It seems at times as though I couldnever be away from you another minute any more. Oh, I'm so hungry for you all of the time."And yet Sondra, flattered as she was by this hunger, and reciprocating53 it in part at least, merely repeated thevarious things she had said before. They must wait. All would come out all right in the fall. And Clyde, quitenumb because of his defeat, yet unable to forego or deny the delight of being with her now, did his best torecover his mood--and think, think, think that in some way--somehow--maybe via that plan of that boat or insome other way!
But what other way?
But no, no, no--not that. He was not a murderer and never could be. He was not a murderer--never--never--never.
And yet this loss.
This impending disaster.
How to avoid that and win to Sondra after all.
How, how, how?
可是帕斯湖上这一惨剧，不知怎的在他心里总是跟他目前的困境连在一起，尽管他竭力不去想它，还是不能象他所希望那么一下子就甩之即去。上面这个想法，是正好跟他个人的切身问题巧合这才产生的，而他的切身问题，却一直使他本来脆弱不堪的思想非常震动，以至于几乎六神无主了。因此，两条性命如此神不知鬼不觉地……虽然实际上令人骇怕……在帕斯湖上断送了……对他的思想来说确实很有分量。那位女郎的尸体……这时，他脑际还有一种奇怪的力量逼他去想……是早已寻获，可是那具男尸迄今还没有发现。在那很有意思的事实细节里头，仿佛寓有一种萦绕不去的暗示……克莱德不禁想到:
说不定那具男尸压根儿没有沉入湖底。反正坏心眼的人有时确实恨不得把别人甩掉……所以，说不定那个男子跟那位女郎一块上那儿去，也很可能是为了要甩掉她?
当然罗，这是魔鬼精心设计的一起阴谋，不过，至少拿眼前这件事来说，好象做得非常出色。
不过，要他自己接受类似这样邪恶的意图，并且照这样去做……那是绝对要不得!
但是，他个人的问题明摆着每时每刻越来越没有希望了。每天或是至少每隔两天，他照例收到罗伯达的信，或是桑德拉的便条……从她们两人的信里，可以看到在闲适与不幸之间。在欢乐与挫败后郁抑不安之间始终形成鲜明对比。
他不愿意给罗伯达写信，所以他只是在打电话时跟她说了几句，而且还尽量说得含糊其词。她好吧?
他接到了她的信，很高兴，知道她还在乡下老家……赶上这种天气，想必乡下一定比厂里要好得多。当然罗，这儿一切都很顺利，只是突然有一些定单涌到，因此近两天来活儿相当繁重，此外一切照常。他自己为了她也知道的那个计划，尽量设法积攒起一笔钱来，而除此以外，他没有什么别的事可以担心……她呢千万也不要为什么别的事担心了。他一直没写信给她，是因为手头工作太多的缘故，没有工夫写，因为有这么多的事儿要做……可是，在她平日里的座位上，现在看不见她了，他不由得很想念，巴望马上就能跟她见面。她要是象她所说的要到莱柯格斯来，而且觉得确实很有必要跟他见面，哦，这个也许总有办法安排的……只不过目前是否真的有此必要吗?
他这么忙，过一阵子当然会跟她见面的。
但就在这同时，他给桑德拉写信说，准定十八日，要是可能的话，在本周周末，也许他可以来到她身边了。
要知道他心里想的是桑德拉，同时又无力对付与罗伯达有关的现实问题，所以就这样在心里变换手法，改弦更张了。后来，他终于盼到了悬渴已久的跟桑德拉重逢(至少跟她一起过周末)的机会，而且又是在他生平从没有见过的那么一个氛围里。
他到达跟第十二号湖湖滨旅馆游廊连接的沙隆公用码头时，前来迎接他的有:
伯蒂娜和她的弟弟，还有桑德拉。原来他们乘坐格兰特的汽艇，顺着钱恩河而下，特地来接他。那印第安钱恩河，碧澄一色的河水啊。郁郁苍苍的。剑戟一般的参天松树林，就象哨兵肃立在河岸两旁，并给西岸河面上投下一条带子似的黑影，使松树林的倒影映照得分外清晰。放眼望去，到处是大大小小的别墅，还有白色。粉红色。绿色。棕色的精舍小筑，以及它们的船棚。水边还有凉亭。有一些宽敞而又富丽堂皇的避暑别墅……比方说，克兰斯顿家。芬奇利家等殷富人家就是这样……往往向水面延伸，修筑一些优美别致的小码头。那绿色。蓝色的小划子和汽艇啊。松树岬还有充满欢乐气氛的旅馆和亭台楼阁，早来的衣着时髦的旅客们已经下榻在那里了!
再说克兰斯顿家的小码头和船棚吧，伯蒂娜最近觅到的两头俄国种猎狼犬正躺在岸边草地上，显然在等候她外出归来。侍候她一家的仆人，就有半打之多，里头有一个名叫约翰的，就在这里等着，给克莱德拎他那只唯一的手提箱，以及网球拍。高尔夫球棍。可是，这儿所有一切之中，给克莱德印象最深的，却是错落有致。建筑优美的这一幢巨邸，甬道两边栽有鲜红的天竺葵，宽敞的棕色游廊内有柳藤编制的家具陈设，从这儿眺望湖上美景，真可以说尽收眼底。还有各种各样的客人，他们的汽车也因各自身分迥然不同。这时他们有人身穿高尔夫球服或是网球服，也有人穿着日常便服，或在廊下小憩，或在园中散步。
约翰听了伯蒂娜吩咐后，便立即把克莱德带到一个可以眺望湖景的宽敞的房间。他在那里洗了个澡，换上网球服，准备跟桑德拉。伯蒂娜。格兰特一块打网球去。桑德拉为了他特地也来伯蒂娜家作客。晚饭过后，桑德拉对他说，他可以跟伯蒂娜。格兰特一块去夜总会，他们将介绍他同这儿所有的人见见面。
在那儿还可以跳跳舞呢。明儿一大早，在进早餐以前，他要是高兴的话，就可以跟她。伯蒂娜。斯图尔特一块骑着马儿，沿着一条妙极了的林中小径，穿过西边一片片树林子，一直来到天启岬，远眺湖上胜景。现在他才知道，除了一两条类似这样的小径以外，这一片森林方圆四十英里以内是无路可通的。人家告诉他，要是没有指南针或是向导，游人可能迷了路，甚至丧生……不识森林的陌路人，要辨别方向，可真不容易啊。还有，早餐后先游泳，然后她和伯蒂娜。尼娜。坦普尔将站在她的(由汽艇拖行)的滑水板上，显一显她们新学到的本领。在这以后，就进午餐，打网球，或是打高尔夫球，然后到夜总会去喝喝茶。
当晚，在湖对岸来自尤蒂卡的布鲁克肖家别墅便宴后，还有舞会哩。
克莱德也发现自己刚到才一个钟头，这次周末活动时间早已安排得满满的了。不过，他心里有谱，他跟桑德拉一定还有办法单独在一起，而且不是只有一会儿工夫，也许还长达好几个钟头。通过这一美妙的时刻，他便可以体会到新的乐趣，以及她那天生脾性的方方面面。克莱德尽管心里还背着罗伯达这个沉重的包袱，可是，至少在这个周末，倒是可以把它丢在一边……那时他感到自己就象进了天堂一样。
在克兰斯顿家的网球场上，桑德拉身穿打网球时穿的套装……雪白的短衫短裙，头发用一条带黄绿两色点子的手绢束了起来。她那欢乐。优美。幸福的神态，好象是过去从没有过的。她嘴唇上不时挂着微笑!
每当桑德拉向他投去匆匆一瞥，眼眸里包含着那么多的欢乐。微笑和脉脉柔情!
她来回奔跑，把球一个个给他打过去，那姿势活象一只小鸟儿在凌空飞翔……她一手高高举起球拍，好象只有一个脚趾头轻轻地触着地面，脑袋往后仰着，嘴唇微微张着，格格地笑个不停。她高声喊着二十比零。三十比零。四十比零的时候，总是笑哈哈地把那个零字(此处是一语双关，因为网球等比赛中，"零分"和"爱情"。"情人"在英语里恰巧同音同字，都是"Ｌｏｖｅ"。)喊得特别响亮，克莱德听了顿时觉得心里怪热乎乎的，可又不免带着一丝儿悲哀。因为他知道，而且还高兴地从这一点看出:
也许桑德拉很可能就属于他了，只要他是自由的就好了。可是，他自己垒起的那另一堵黑墙!
后来又有这么一个场面:
红艳艳的太阳，给一块草地倾泻了一片水晶般璀璨的阳光，这片草地是从参天的松树林一直延伸到泛起银色涟漪的湖边。湖上几乎到哪儿都可见到小船上闪光的白帆……白的。绿的。黄的，杂色斑驳的船身。
逍遥自在的一对对情侣，在阳光下悠闲地划着小划子!
消夏季节……悠闲……温馨……五光十色……舒适……美……爱情……这一切，正是去年夏天他自己感到孤寂难捱时梦寐以求的啊。
有时，克莱德仿佛心中乐得快要晕过去了，因为他生平的一个大愿望多少得到了满足，差不多马上唾手可得了;有时(他心里只要一想到罗伯达，就象一阵砭人肌骨的寒风马上向他袭来)，他却觉得:
现在威胁他的这件事，就他对于美。
爱情。幸福的种种梦幻而论，可以说比任何事情更加悲哀，可怕，和凶险。有关帕斯湖上两人溺死那条可怕的新闻报道啊!
尽管这周以内(或是最多两三周吧)他有一个狂热的计划，但是也可能他就得永远离开这一切啊。想到这儿，他猛地惊醒过来，方才意识到自己漏了接球，实在打得很差劲，耳边听到伯蒂娜，或是桑德拉。格兰特在喊:
"喂，克莱德，你究竟在想什么呀?
"他要是能说出来，恐怕就会从他心里最黑暗的深处回答说:
"罗伯达。"当天晚上，在布鲁克肖家又碰见一群衣饰漂亮的人，他们都是桑德拉，伯蒂娜她们的朋友。舞厅里又遇到笑容满面的桑德拉。她故意佯装给所有赴宴的人……特别是她的父母……看看她好象事前还没有看见克莱德……甚至压根儿不知道他也在这儿哩。
"怎么，你也来啦?
那敢情好。住在克兰斯顿家吗?
哦，那不是太好了吗?
就在我们家紧邻。哦，我们可以常见面了，嗯?
明儿早上七点以前，遛一会儿马，怎么样?
伯蒂娜跟我差不多天天遛。要是没有别的事打岔，明儿我们还打算来一次野餐，划小划子，开车兜兜风。你别担心遛不好嘛。我会关照伯蒂娜把杰利让给你骑……它简直就象一头小绵羊。至于衣着嘛，也不用担心。格兰特样样都有。下面两个舞我跟别人跳，第三个舞开始，我跟你一块出去坐坐，好吗?
外面阳台上，我知道有个地方棒极了。"她手一扬，走开了，她的眼色好象对他说:
"我们彼此心照不宣嘛。"后来，到了外面幽暗处，没人看见时，她把他的脸拉过来凑近自己的脸，热情地亲吻他。在夜阑人静以前，他们远离别墅，沿着湖畔小径散步，在月光底下频频拥抱。
"克莱德来了，桑德拉心里真喜欢。多么惦念他呀，"他亲吻她时，她摩挲着他的头发。克莱德想到他们俩周围一片幽暗，就狂热地亲吻她。"啊，我亲爱的小姑娘，"他大声嚷道。"我那美丽的。美丽的桑德拉!
您要是知道我是多么爱您就好了!
只要您知道就好了!
我恨不能把一切都告诉您。我真巴不得这样呀。"可目前他就是不能告诉她……也可以说是永远也不能告诉她。有关目前横在他们俩中间的那堵黑墙，哪怕是片言只字，他也决不敢告诉她。因为，按照她的良好教养，以及她应恪守的恋爱婚姻的标准，她是永远也不会懂得，同时永远也不愿为爱情作出如此巨大的牺牲，尽管她是那么地爱他。而且，她马上就会离开他，抛弃他……而且同时，她眼里会露出多么可怕的神色!
可是现在，正当他紧紧搂住她时，她望着他那苍白而又紧张的脸，他的眼睛，以及高高在天上的月亮映在他眼里的小小白点子，她禁不住嚷道:
"克莱德真是那么强烈地爱桑德拉吗?
啊，可爱的小伢儿!
桑德拉也很爱他呀。"她双手搂住他的脑袋，而且搂得紧紧的，马上热烈地一连亲了他十几个吻。"而且，桑德拉也决不会放弃她的克莱德。她决不会放弃的。你就等着瞧吧!
不管现在发生什么事，反正没有什么了不起。也许这事很不容易办，但是桑德拉决不会放弃他的。
"随后，她突然带着讲究实际的口吻……这也是由于她天生秉性使然……大声嚷了起来:
"可是，现在我们得走了，马上就走。不，现在连再吻一次也不准了。不，不，现在桑德拉说，就是不行。他们要来找我们啦，"说罢，她身子一挺，挽住他的胳臂，急匆匆同他一块回屋去，刚好碰上正在寻找她的帕尔默。瑟斯顿。
转天早上，她果然践约，到天启岬遛马去，而且赶在七点钟以前……伯蒂娜和桑德拉都身穿鲜红的骑马时穿的外套。白色马裤和黑色皮靴。头发没有束起来，随风轻拂着。她们多半兴冲冲地赶在前头，然后又折回，来到他身边。
要不然，桑德拉就乐呵呵地招呼他快快赶上来，或是她们俩已在一百码以外，躲到仿佛由密林走廊组成的小礼拜堂秘密的角落里有谈有笑，他却压根儿看不见她们。因为这些天来桑德拉显然对克莱德很有情意，伯蒂娜开始认为，这种情意说不定最后会结成眷属，只要家里人不出来作梗就是了。于是，她，伯蒂娜，满面笑容，一下子真象是亲热的化身，惹人喜爱地坚持要他在这儿过上一个夏天，并且答应出面庇护他们，到那时，谁也找不到什么岔儿了。克莱德一听，不消说，喜从中来，但突然又心事重重……一会儿这样一会儿那样……不时发生……不禁又想到报上那条新闻所萌发的念头上去……但他还是跟它进行了搏斗……竭力把它完全甩掉。
这时，桑德拉到了一个地方，便掉头往下走一条很陡的小路，一直来到黑糊糊的树荫底下乱石磷峋。长满青苔的泉水边，对克莱德喊道:
"喂，你快下来，杰利认得这条路，包管不摔跤的。来喝口水吧。这儿的泉水你喝上一口，回去时也就轻快如飞……人们都这么说。"等他从那条小路下来，下了马喝水的时候，她便大声说道:
"有一件事我一直很想告诉你。昨儿晚上妈听说你也来了，这时候她那脸色呀，真该让你看看才好。当然罗，她肯定不知道是我邀请你来的，因为她以为伯蒂娜也喜欢你哩。
我这是存心让她有这样的想法。不过话又说回来，我觉得，不管怎么说，她还是疑心我插手这件事，对此她是很不高兴的。但是除了过去她说过的以外，现在再也搬不出更多的理由来了。刚才我跟伯蒂娜谈过，她答应支持我，尽量帮我的忙。可是尽管这样，往后我们还得特别谨慎才好。因为，依我看，要是妈妈疑心太重了，那我真不知道她会干出什么事来……说不定甚至现在就要我们离开这儿，仅仅是为了不让我跟你见面。你要明白，她是不赞成我对她不喜欢的人感到兴趣。你知道这种事是常有的。她对斯图尔特也是这样。可是，你只要小心谨慎些，别让人看出你有多喜欢我，特别是跟我们那儿任何一个人在一块儿的时候，那么，我想，妈妈她也不会做出什么事来……至少目前还不会。
以后，到了秋天，我们回到莱柯格斯，一切就都变了。那时候，我岁数够了，那就得瞧我的。我至今还没有爱过任何人，可是确实爱你，嗯，得了，反正我决不会把你放了。我是断断乎不放你。而且，他们怎么也不会强迫我的!
"她跺一跺脚，又用皮靴踢了一下。这时，那两匹马正懒洋洋地东张西望着。
克莱德看到她第二次对他那么明确的表白，感到既兴奋，只惊愕;同时又突然心急如焚地想到:
此刻正好向她提出两人一块出走。结婚。这样就可以摘掉悬在他头顶上的剑，这时，他眼里充满激动的希望和恐惧直瞅着桑德拉，因为要是桑德拉对他这个突如其来的建议感到震惊，她就很可能拒绝他，也可能一下子改变主意。何况他又没有钱，万一她接受了这个建议，他们一块该上哪儿去，连他自己心里也没有谱呢。不过，说不定她倒是会想出什么办法来。她只要答应了，那么她就不会帮助他吗?
当然，那是不用说的。不管怎么样，反正他觉得现在他非说不可，至于运气是好是坏，那就随它去了。
于是他说:
"您为什么不能现在就跟我一块走，桑德拉，亲爱的?
要捱到秋天，时间多长呀，可我却是那么爱您。为什么我们不能一块儿马上就走呢?
到了那时候，不管怎么说，您妈反正不大会让您嫁给我。不过，要是我们现在就走，那她什么办法都没有，可不是?
过了几个月以后，您可以写信给她，到那时，她也就不介意了。为什么我们不能现在就走呢，桑德拉?
"他说话的声音里听得出在苦苦哀求，眼里也充满了忧伤和惧怕……害怕被她拒绝，害怕被拒绝以后的毫无保障的前途。
这时，桑德拉被他的激情所左右，心中不由得颤栗不已。她迟疑了一会儿……说实在的，她对这个主意压根儿不觉得惊诧，相反只是感到非常感动和得意，想到自己居然能使克莱德激起这么一种炽烈而又鲁莽的情欲。他竟然会有这么大的冲动……她觉得是她亲手点燃的火苗儿现在如此炽烈地燃烧着。虽然她知道自己不会有他那么强烈的感情……这种烈焰似的情火，过去她还从没有见过哩。现在要是她能跟他一块出走……偷偷地到加拿大，或是到纽约，或是到波士顿，或是到任何地方……该有多美?
那时，她的私奔，将在莱柯格斯这儿，以及奥尔巴尼。尤蒂卡，闹得满城风雨啊!
不论是她自己家里，还是在哪儿，又会怎么议论纷纷，怎样焦虑不安呢!
而吉尔伯特尽管对克莱德没有好感，好歹成了她的亲戚……她父母一向艳羡不已的这个格里菲思家，也终于就成了他们的亲家。
刹那间她用眼色表明自己愿意，甚至几乎决心按照他的建议……跟他一块出走，让人们看看她那炽烈。纯真的爱情，好不热闹!
他们只要一结婚，她父母还有什么办法?
难道说克莱德还配不上她，配不上他们的门第吗?
当然罗，门第相配……尽管她那圈子里头的人几乎都觉得他还不够理想，无非是因为他不象他们那么有钱。可是钱嘛，赶明儿他也会有的，可不是吗……跟她结婚以后，在她父亲公司里找一个好差使……就象吉尔伯特在他父亲厂里一样，可不是吗?
但是，过了一会儿，她想到自己在这儿的生活，想到夏季才开始，她就这样出走后，将使她父母受到多大的打击……还有她自己的计划也将告吹，特别使她母亲恼火，也许说她岁数还不到，甚至宣布婚姻无效。想到以上这些，她就迟疑了……刚才她眼里露出大胆而又欣喜的神色，已被她显然一贯注重实际与物质的秉性所取代。事实上，只要等上几个月就得了!
反正现在出走，说不定会使克莱德跟她永远分开;而再等上几个月，毫无疑问，就保证他们永远不分离。
于是，她便亲热但又坚决地摇摇头。克莱德知道自己失败了……这是他在这件事上所遇到的最最痛苦而又无法挽救的失败。她不愿跟他一块出走!
那他就完了……完了……也许他就永远失去了她。啊，老天哪!
她脸上露出过去即便感情无比激动时也很少见的温柔，说:
"亲爱的，要是我不觉得现在最好别这么做，本来我也会同意的。这未免太仓促了。目前，妈妈还不会做出什么事来。我知道她不会。再说，她已经拟定一套计划，今年夏天，她要在这儿大宴宾客……全都是为了我。她希望我态度殷勤些……得了，你可知道，我这是指谁呀。我觉得这可没有什么关系，只要这一切对我们毫无妨碍的话;当然我也不会做出什么真的吓坏她的事情来。"她停顿一会儿，为了鼓励他而粲然一笑。"不过你多咱高兴，就尽管上这儿来，知道吧。我妈和其他那些人，都不会有任何想法的，因为你并不是我们的客人，知道吗?
我跟伯蒂娜什么都商量好了。因此，整整一个夏天，我们可以跟你在这儿见面，我们要多久就多久，知道吗?
到了秋天，等我回到了莱柯格斯，那时我要是压根儿不能让她对你有好感，或是不答应让我们订婚的话……那末，我就会跟你一块出走。是的，我一定会的，亲爱的……我说的是的的确确的真话。"亲爱的!
只要一到了秋天呀!
说罢，从她的眼色看得出她对他们所面临的实际困难是非常明白的。她握住他的双手，抬眼端详着他的脸，随后突然一个劲儿用双手搂住他的脖子亲吻他。
"难道说你还不明白吗，亲爱的?
千万别这么伤心呀，亲爱的。桑德拉还是那么爱她的克莱德。她一定会尽自己一切力量，使所有事情都能顺顺当当的。是的，她一定会的。一切也都会好起来，你等着瞧吧。她决不会把克莱德放弃的……决不会的!
"克莱德知道自己真的再也找不到任何一个令人感动的理由来说服她了……不管是什么理由都会使她对他的极度急躁心理感到惊疑不止。这都是因为罗伯达所提出的要求，除非……除非……啊……除非罗伯达放过他，那么他就注定失败了。这时，他面有忧色。甚至绝望地直瞅着她的脸。瞧她有多美呀!
她那个小天地该有多美呀!
可是他一辈子也休想得到她或是她那个小天地。而且紧逼着他的……是罗伯达和她的要求，以及他的许诺!
而且，除了出逃以外，再也没有别的出路!
老天哪!
在这个时刻，他眼里露出一种惊恐。几乎疯狂的神色……象此时此刻那么明显，那么强烈是过去从来没有过的……简直濒于失去理智的边缘了……强烈得连桑德拉也一眼就看出来。他显得那么痛苦万状和绝望透顶，使她禁不住嚷了起来:
"喂，你怎么啦，克莱德，亲爱的……你眼色这样……哦，可我也说不清……是绝望，还是……难道说他是那么强烈地爱我吗?
难道说他不能再等三四个月吗?
可是。哦，他还是能等的。这并不象他所想象的那么坏呀。他几乎整天价可以跟我在一块……他呀我的小宝贝。他不在这儿的时候，桑德拉会每天给他写信……每天写呀。""但是，桑德拉呀!
桑德拉呀!
要是我一切都能告诉您就好了。要是您知道这对我将有多大影响……"这时，他沉吟不语，因为，他一下子发觉桑德拉眼里露出那种注重实际的兴趣，好象在说:
干吗她非得立刻跟他一块出走不可呢。克莱德立刻感到这个小天地对她的吸引力该有多大呀……她本人就是这个小天地的一个组成部分……要是他在此时此地过分坚持，就很容易使她怀疑自己当初该不该这么如痴似狂地爱他了。想到这里，他也就一下子断念了。他知道，只要他说了出来，她肯定仔细盘问他，说不定会使她有所改变……至少她的热情将会低落下来，甚至秋天的美梦也会随之成为泡影。
于是，他并没有进一步说明他为什么非要她作出决定不可，相反，他只是说:
"这全都因为现在我是多么需要您，亲爱的……永远需要您。说透了，就是这个呀。有时，我觉得好象一分钟也离不开您呀。哦，不管是什么时候，我总是那么渴念着您。"桑德拉尽管对他如此悬渴觉得美滋滋的，而且至少也有所回报，但在回答他时，无非是重复了自己刚才说过的话。他们必须善于等待。到了秋天，一切都会好了。克莱德因遭失败几乎神经麻木了，可他对此刻跟她在一起的快乐不能放弃，也不能否认。于是，他便竭力掩饰刚才自己流露的情绪……并且一个劲儿想啊想的，想有什么办法……不管怎样……也许甚至于采用划船这个点子，或是什么其他办法!
不过还有什么别的办法呢?
可是，不，不，不……那可要不得。他不是杀人不眨眼的凶手，而且永远也不会。他不是杀人不眨眼的凶手……永远不是……永远不是……永远不是。
可是这一切，他通通将失去呀。
眼看着这大难即将临头呀。
眼看着这大难即将临头呀。
该怎样才能免遭灾难，而又能赢得桑德拉呢?
该怎样，怎样，怎样呢?
收听单词发音 |
1
dread
|
|
| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
blotting
|
|
| 吸墨水纸 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
peculiar
|
|
| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
obtruding
|
|
| v.强行向前，强行，强迫( obtrude的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
acting
|
|
| n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
uncertainty
|
|
| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
briefly
|
|
| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
smoothly
|
|
| adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
virtue
|
|
| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
animated
|
|
| adj.生气勃勃的，活跃的，愉快的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
veranda
|
|
| n.走廊；阳台 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
lodges
|
|
| v.存放( lodge的第三人称单数 )；暂住；埋入；（权利、权威等）归属 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
lodge
|
|
| v.临时住宿，寄宿，寄存，容纳；n.传达室，小旅馆 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
pier
|
|
| n.码头；桥墩，桥柱；[建]窗间壁，支柱 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
spacious
|
|
| adj.广阔的，宽敞的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
apparently
|
|
| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
rambling
|
|
| adj.[建]凌乱的，杂乱的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
personalities
|
|
| n. 诽谤，（对某人容貌、性格等所进行的）人身攻击； 人身攻击；人格, 个性, 名人( personality的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
contrive
|
|
| vt.谋划，策划；设法做到；设计，想出 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
temperament
|
|
| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
dour
|
|
| adj.冷酷的，严厉的；（岩石）嶙峋的；顽强不屈 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
attired
|
|
| adj.穿着整齐的v.使穿上衣服，使穿上盛装( attire的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
graceful
|
|
| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
rippling
|
|
| 起涟漪的，潺潺流水般声音的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
immediate
|
|
| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
sweeping
|
|
| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
numbing
|
|
| adj.使麻木的，使失去感觉的v.使麻木，使麻痹( numb的现在分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
fumbling
|
|
| n. 摸索,漏接 v. 摸索,摸弄,笨拙的处理 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
interfere
|
|
| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
interferes
|
|
| vi. 妨碍，冲突，干涉 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
feverishly
|
|
| adv. 兴奋地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
desperately
|
|
| adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
racing
|
|
| n.竞赛，赛马；adj.竞赛用的，赛马用的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
concealed
|
|
| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
chapel
|
|
| n.小教堂，殡仪馆 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
aisled
|
|
| adj.有狭长通路的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
|
38
entirely
|
|
| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
stony
|
|
| adj.石头的，多石头的，冷酷的，无情的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
tremor
|
|
| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
incapable
|
|
| adj.无能力的，不能做某事的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
lark
|
|
| n.云雀，百灵鸟；n.嬉戏，玩笑；vi.嬉戏 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
worthy
|
|
| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
persistently
|
|
| ad.坚持地；固执地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
softened
|
|
| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
reassuring
|
|
| a.使人消除恐惧和疑虑的，使人放心的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
fixed
|
|
| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
impulsively
|
|
| adv.冲动地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
conclusively
|
|
| adv.令人信服地，确凿地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
deranged
|
|
| adj.疯狂的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
inquiry
|
|
| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
insistence
|
|
| n.坚持；强调；坚决主张 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
reciprocating
|
|
| adj.往复的；来回的；交替的；摆动的v.报答，酬答( reciprocate的现在分词 )；（机器的部件）直线往复运动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
impending
|
|
| a.imminent, about to come or happen | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |