PART 1 CHAPTER
19
and howling. Stumbling about, I search for a place where I might escape from its ear-splitting
around and around, while I slip into a bottomless hole. The opening at the top is reduced to a
Breathe. Draw the calming stream of air into my lungs. Forget today, when the man with a
naked in the room, the cupboards in a broken heap on the floor. Breathe and remember
something soothing10. Sit in the porch rocker and listen to the music of leaves rustling11 and yellow
flickers12 gathering13 to head south. After all, Nature’s sounds bring a man closer to the contents of
his heart. This is what I tell myself.
I do recall another a time when Nature was a balm. It began one June morning in Virginia near
breakfast hardtack biscuits. He regarded the tooth-snapping material in his hand with disgust,
and asked if I’d seen how many blackberry bushes we had passed yesterday on the march to the
new camp.
“Let’s go get some of those berries. Do you recall when we used to play for hours around the
bushes along the farm fence? We stuffed our mouths until our chins and fingers ran purple.” I
then fell silent, allowing the pleasant memory of the summer berry hunt to replace, for at least a
few minutes, the nightmarish images of recent days.
“Maybe Tayloe Hupp wants to go, and the three of us can share with the other fellows.”
his tent. It didn’t take much persuasion16, and the three of us were off.
boosted our spirits, and we joked as we hiked away from the tents. No matter how far I
wandered along the hillside above, waves of noise washed over me from the twenty thousand
men bivouacked in camp. Strains of song, shouts of laughter, jesting, games of toss, arguing,
forests at their crowns, and the cloudless sky were alive with it.
encampment. Some sawed trees and others split logs for firewood. But the deep release I’d felt
as my feet strode away from camp made me think about them down there. They might be doing
never dream of furloughs or a safe and a comfortable home far from the battlefield, could never
shame and sadness slowing my steps.
behind, slowed down by a mending ankle twisted while charging through a cornrow. We
grass, heavy with blackberries at the perfect moment of sweetness. Beards, Tayloe, and I spread
out and wordlessly plucked from bush to bush, filling our knapsacks and eating an occasional
edge of the dirt road, they were gone. I gathered fruit until I had an ample quantity and gingerly
I lost track of how far I’d journeyed from camp. Rye grass and wheat-covered hills rolled like
oak trees clamped their roots into the earth as if they would be there forever. The camp sounds
were only a faint drone in the background. The fellows yelled my name once or twice in the
longer filled my senses. Striding ever more quickly, taking one hill and then another, I sought
catch the precise second when the loss of old occurred and there was the gain of the new.
Creature noise inescapably enfolds you in the hills of summertime Virginia. Crickets in the
grass with their high-pitched leg-rubbing, synchronized40 like group breathing—into my hearing,
out of my hearing. Cicadas’ scritch, scritch, scritching in the oak, cedar41, locust42, and walnut43 trees.
All together in one place—it drifted out, then lifted altogether in another. At first it came in
melancholy46 cooing of the Carolina mourning dove—whoooo–who-who-who. I reckoned I might
dissolve into a world of notes ever dividing. From time to time a cow lowed or a horse
whinnied. But the insects were a constant—a mass that broadcast the same cry out into the
universe. Or did it just seem that way from my limited human viewpoint?
The shade of a wide oak was irresistible47, and after carefully situating my juicy sack against
the trunk, I collapsed48 upon the soft moss49 and ferns at its roots. With legs outstretched, I crooked50
mantle54 to harden in the sunshine so that he could float off to find his love. Or he could have been
memorizing the pages of Dr. Finch’s insect book with Mary, I knew the luna moth lives most of
its seven weeks as a caterpillar56 or in a cocoon. It is most glorious for only its last seven days on
earth. The large, green wrinkled wings unfurl across a triangular57 body soft with the white fur of
a Persian cat. As the insect pumps fluids into them, they are forced out to their full four-inch
span. The moth then flies off to mate with a fury before death comes. Because it has no mouth, it
must live on past experience, consuming itself. A luna moth can’t eat.
I pondered the moth’s fate. For him, a clock ticks down, and an alarm has already sounded.
But for now, there’s maybe the joy of sailing on the currents and the intoxication58 of living to
stalks like ostrich61 ferns. Does it know it’s doomed62, and does this awareness63 deepen its desire to
leave a legacy64? The wings encompass65 four miraculous66 windows, false eyes to fool predators67, but
they are perfect transparent68 circles through which the world beyond is visible.
I wondered if, like the magnificent luna moth, all the tiny carapaced members of the insect
come?
I lazed in the grass and watched the sun dip lower. With all of this thought of insect sex, I
would war, peace, and other human endeavors appear only as an indistinguishable mass of
activity? Was this God’s vantage point if He was, indeed, in a Heaven above us? Was it, in the
end, just about reproduction of the species—an act of immense vanity if we are indeed made in
His image? Had my mother known my mind at that moment, she would rightly fear for my soul.
I sank back into the insect songs and remained there without thought until the sun fell to the tops
of the trees.
Satisfied that I had enough berries to share with the boys, I carefully laid my haversack
across my shoulders and covered the miles back to camp.
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点击
收听单词发音
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1
curdle
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v.使凝结,变稠 | |
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skull
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n.头骨;颅骨 | |
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sneaks
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abbr.sneakers (tennis shoes) 胶底运动鞋(网球鞋)v.潜行( sneak的第三人称单数 );偷偷溜走;(儿童向成人)打小报告;告状 | |
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realization
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n.实现;认识到,深刻了解 | |
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swirls
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n.旋转( swirl的名词复数 );卷状物;漩涡;尘旋v.旋转,打旋( swirl的第三人称单数 ) | |
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foul
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adj.污秽的;邪恶的;v.弄脏;妨害;犯规;n.犯规 | |
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vapor
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n.蒸汽,雾气 | |
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ragged
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adj.衣衫褴褛的,粗糙的,刺耳的 | |
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lathes
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车床( lathe的名词复数 ) | |
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soothing
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adj.慰藉的;使人宽心的;镇静的 | |
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rustling
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n. 瑟瑟声,沙沙声 adj. 发沙沙声的 | |
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12
flickers
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电影制片业; (通常指灯光)闪烁,摇曳( flicker的名词复数 ) | |
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13
gathering
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n.集会,聚会,聚集 | |
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gnawed
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咬( gnaw的过去式和过去分词 ); (长时间) 折磨某人; (使)苦恼; (长时间)危害某事物 | |
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crumbs
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int. (表示惊讶)哎呀 n. 碎屑 名词crumb的复数形式 | |
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16
persuasion
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n.劝说;说服;持有某种信仰的宗派 | |
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17
anticipation
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n.预期,预料,期望 | |
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18
meager
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adj.缺乏的,不足的,瘦的 | |
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19
rations
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定量( ration的名词复数 ); 配给量; 正常量; 合理的量 | |
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cannons
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n.加农炮,大炮,火炮( cannon的名词复数 ) | |
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21
butts
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笑柄( butt的名词复数 ); (武器或工具的)粗大的一端; 屁股; 烟蒂 | |
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22
drawn
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v.拖,拉,拔出;adj.憔悴的,紧张的 | |
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23
labored
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adj.吃力的,谨慎的v.努力争取(for)( labor的过去式和过去分词 );苦干;详细分析;(指引擎)缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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24
standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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25
curdled
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v.(使)凝结( curdle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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26
averted
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防止,避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 ); 转移 | |
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27
denuded
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adj.[医]变光的,裸露的v.使赤裸( denude的过去式和过去分词 );剥光覆盖物 | |
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28
fully
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adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地 | |
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laden
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adj.装满了的;充满了的;负了重担的;苦恼的 | |
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shrubs
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灌木( shrub的名词复数 ) | |
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sprawled
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v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的过去式和过去分词);蔓延;杂乱无序地拓展;四肢伸展坐着(或躺着) | |
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initially
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adv.最初,开始 | |
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hoisted
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把…吊起,升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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maple
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n.槭树,枫树,槭木 | |
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babble
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v.含糊不清地说,胡言乱语地说,儿语 | |
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respite
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n.休息,中止,暂缓 | |
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peculiar
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adj.古怪的,异常的;特殊的,特有的 | |
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rumble
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n.隆隆声;吵嚷;v.隆隆响;低沉地说 | |
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swelled
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增强( swell的过去式和过去分词 ); 肿胀; (使)凸出; 充满(激情) | |
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synchronized
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同步的 | |
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cedar
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n.雪松,香柏(木) | |
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locust
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n.蝗虫;洋槐,刺槐 | |
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43
walnut
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n.胡桃,胡桃木,胡桃色,茶色 | |
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44
clumps
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n.(树、灌木、植物等的)丛、簇( clump的名词复数 );(土、泥等)团;块;笨重的脚步声v.(树、灌木、植物等的)丛、簇( clump的第三人称单数 );(土、泥等)团;块;笨重的脚步声 | |
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45
sleek
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adj.光滑的,井然有序的;v.使光滑,梳拢 | |
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melancholy
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n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的 | |
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irresistible
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adj.非常诱人的,无法拒绝的,无法抗拒的 | |
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collapsed
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adj.倒塌的 | |
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moss
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n.苔,藓,地衣 | |
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crooked
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adj.弯曲的;不诚实的,狡猾的,不正当的 | |
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mammoth
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n.长毛象;adj.长毛象似的,巨大的 | |
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52
moth
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n.蛾,蛀虫 | |
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53
cocoon
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n.茧 | |
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54
mantle
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n.斗篷,覆罩之物,罩子;v.罩住,覆盖,脸红 | |
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longevity
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n.长命;长寿 | |
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caterpillar
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n.毛虫,蝴蝶的幼虫 | |
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triangular
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adj.三角(形)的,三者间的 | |
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intoxication
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n.wild excitement;drunkenness;poisoning | |
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flamboyantly
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adv.艳丽地、奢华地、绚丽地。 | |
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adorned
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[计]被修饰的 | |
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ostrich
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n.鸵鸟 | |
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doomed
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命定的 | |
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awareness
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n.意识,觉悟,懂事,明智 | |
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legacy
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n.遗产,遗赠;先人(或过去)留下的东西 | |
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encompass
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vt.围绕,包围;包含,包括;完成 | |
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miraculous
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adj.像奇迹一样的,不可思议的 | |
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predators
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n.食肉动物( predator的名词复数 );奴役他人者(尤指在财务或性关系方面) | |
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transparent
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adj.明显的,无疑的;透明的 | |
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yearning
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a.渴望的;向往的;怀念的 | |
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inquiries
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n.调查( inquiry的名词复数 );疑问;探究;打听 | |
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tantalizing
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adj.逗人的;惹弄人的;撩人的;煽情的v.逗弄,引诱,折磨( tantalize的现在分词 ) | |
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bosoms
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胸部( bosom的名词复数 ); 胸怀; 女衣胸部(或胸襟); 和爱护自己的人在一起的情形 | |
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gender
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n.(生理上的)性,(名词、代词等的)性 | |
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immediate
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adj.立即的;直接的,最接近的;紧靠的 | |
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hover
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vi.翱翔,盘旋;徘徊;彷徨,犹豫 | |
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