PART 1 CHAPTER
20
M ARY’S LETTER ABOUT SUKIE AND HER QUESTION ABOUT HOW THOSE who owned slaves
maybe wasn’t one at all. But I did believe in the same principles. Six months after her letter, the
issue rose to such a boil that I could no longer escape it. It was just a few days before
Gettysburg.
At the end of June 1863, General Lee had led so many of us across the Maryland line into
Pennsylvania that it took three days for troops to pass through a single small town. Those of us
in the infantry5 were the last to file through, and by that time, fearful locals were wearied of the
sight and no longer stood in their yards to gawk.
farm critter from miles around. Hundreds of us chased about in fields, pursuing panicked
turkeys, ducks, and chickens in all directions. The promise of regular food put everyone in high
spirits. Squawks, gobbles, quacks7, and hisses8 filled the air. As I was grabbing for an elusive9 hen
trembling under a wild rose hedge, I saw Zeke approach with a duck under each arm. Their
orange feet frantically10 paddled the air. With a tight grip, he was trying to steer11 clear of their
snapping bills, but one pinched his forearm. He dropped the duck like a hot coal, and it ran off
until another fellow caught it. Feathers clung to our hair, made us sneeze, and carpeted the field
an inch of ground. There they were quickly slaughtered13, plucked, and cooked on spits laid over
of corned beef, sides of bacon, crocks of apple butter, barrels of dairy butter, and other edibles16
real meal for a change.
A few days earlier, General Lee had issued a command that was read down through the ranks
until it reached us. During this foray into Pennsylvania, we were forbidden to destroy property
as union troops had in the South and were to wage war only against armed men. The last night
of encampment before we reached Chambersburg, thanks to Beards’ wandering ways, we
in the South. Beards had seen a copy of the Richmond Times handed around that called for
troops to light a sea of flame in every Pennsylvania town. The newspaper claimed even that
punishment wasn’t enough for the theft of over 500,000 slaves, or fifty million dollars’ worth of
investment, since the beginning of the war.
“It’s not just the officers,” Beards said. “I heard a lot of angry talk around the campfires.”
He’d rejoined us as we loafed around our fire, enjoying the last bit of goose grease on our
fingers and sucking marrow19 from leftover20 bones. “It’s not easy to forgive burning Virginia farms
and to forget the danger to our families.”
Signs of disobedience became obvious the next day. While the fellows and I were on a hill
chopping fence rails for firewood, I caught sight of a distant cloud of brown dust that seemed to
“Where are you going?” Beards yelled.
“I’ll be back in a minute.” I waved my hat at him and kept walking. The crack of splitting
wood told me he’d returned to work.
streamed a line of Blacks on foot. Most of them were women and children, hands bound loosely
with rope. Soldiers with rifles trotted25 alongside, enforcing order in the lines by screaming curses
and pointing their rifles menacingly. The distant tide of sound now became a buzz of voices.
clinging to their backs stirred up the dry road. Soldiers clasped toddlers on the front of their
One Black woman passed close where I stood. She carried herself straight-backed as Ma and
knotted around her head. “Please, officer, I’m free,” she cried out to a cavalry officer who rode
nearby. His face was like carved stone, and he kept his eyes straight forward as though he was
deaf. “I was born and raised right here in the North, in Franklin County!” she cried more loudly.
“Oh, Lord, this ain’t right! We’re all freed or weren’t never slaves to start with! Why are you
taking us?” Again, her captive ignored her. She lifted her eyes to the sky and called out, “Lord
Jesus, how have I failed you, to be punished this way?” Her head fell to her chest, and she
we’ve got here” he called. “As fine a bunch of contraband32 as you’ll see anywhere.”
“Where are you headed?” I hollered back.
for what was stole from us. Too bad there ain’t so many men amongst them so we’d get a better
price. Guess they run off to join the Yankees.” He raised his hat in farewell as he rode by. I
forced myself to nod in response.
When he was out of sight, I sank down on the red earth by the side of the road. A powerful
despair blackened my vision on the edges and made me weak. How could this be happening?
How many others would suffer in this way? Now that we were no longer fighting to defend
lingering in the air for what seemed an eternity37 as the dust cloud disappeared over the next hill.
I looked up and found Beards by my side.
“What’s the matter? You’ve been gone for a long time.”
“Did you see that?” I asked him.
“Just the end of the line. It’s pretty awful, isn’t it?”
I nodded. There were no words for what was going through my head. I guess because I
business of soldiering, slogging through rain and bone-numbing cold, the fear that loosened your
revulsion toward the entire Confederacy and my own role took hold, stronger even than when
Sam died. I choked back another surge of bile. I would disown anything to do with the
Confederacy.
But what were my choices? As a deserter, I couldn’t go home, and I’d be executed if I were
caught. I was trapped. I had to stay where I was, but from this day forward, my goals would be
pared down to only one thing, protecting my friends and saving myself. Nothing more. I had to
ever.
“We ought to be heading back now,” Beards said. He threw his stick aside and stood up.
I silently got to my feet, brushed the clay from my pants, and slowly followed him to the
fence post where I’d abandoned my axe, never imagining how, in just a few days, my resolve to
return home alive would be sorely tested in the farm fields to the southeast near Gettysburg.
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1
Christian
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adj.基督教徒的;n.基督教徒 | |
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Christians
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n.基督教徒( Christian的名词复数 ) | |
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tormented
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饱受折磨的 | |
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killing
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n.巨额利润;突然赚大钱,发大财 | |
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infantry
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n.[总称]步兵(部队) | |
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edible
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n.食品,食物;adj.可食用的 | |
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7
quacks
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abbr.quacksalvers 庸医,骗子(16世纪习惯用水银或汞治疗梅毒的人)n.江湖医生( quack的名词复数 );江湖郎中;(鸭子的)呱呱声v.(鸭子)发出嘎嘎声( quack的第三人称单数 ) | |
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hisses
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嘶嘶声( hiss的名词复数 ) | |
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9
elusive
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adj.难以表达(捉摸)的;令人困惑的;逃避的 | |
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10
frantically
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ad.发狂地, 发疯地 | |
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11
steer
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vt.驾驶,为…操舵;引导;vi.驾驶 | |
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12
fowl
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n.家禽,鸡,禽肉 | |
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13
slaughtered
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v.屠杀,杀戮,屠宰( slaughter的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14
wagons
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n.四轮的运货马车( wagon的名词复数 );铁路货车;小手推车 | |
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15
chunks
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厚厚的一块( chunk的名词复数 ); (某物)相当大的数量或部分 | |
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16
edibles
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可以吃的,可食用的( edible的名词复数 ); 食物 | |
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17
rumble
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n.隆隆声;吵嚷;v.隆隆响;低沉地说 | |
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18
retaliate
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v.报复,反击 | |
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19
marrow
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n.骨髓;精华;活力 | |
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20
leftover
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n.剩货,残留物,剩饭;adj.残余的 | |
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21
swirl
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v.(使)打漩,(使)涡卷;n.漩涡,螺旋形 | |
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22
propping
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支撑 | |
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23
axe
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n.斧子;v.用斧头砍,削减 | |
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24
cavalry
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n.骑兵;轻装甲部队 | |
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25
trotted
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小跑,急走( trot的过去分词 ); 匆匆忙忙地走 | |
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wails
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痛哭,哭声( wail的名词复数 ) | |
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27
exhausted
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adj.极其疲惫的,精疲力尽的 | |
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sobbing
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<主方>Ⅰ adj.湿透的 | |
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29
neatly
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adv.整洁地,干净地,灵巧地,熟练地 | |
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30
trudged
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vt.& vi.跋涉,吃力地走(trudge的过去式与过去分词形式) | |
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31
standing
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n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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32
contraband
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n.违禁品,走私品 | |
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auction
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n.拍卖;拍卖会;vt.拍卖 | |
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saliva
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n.唾液,口水 | |
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gut
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n.[pl.]胆量;内脏;adj.本能的;vt.取出内脏 | |
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misery
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n.痛苦,苦恼,苦难;悲惨的境遇,贫苦 | |
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eternity
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n.不朽,来世;永恒,无穷 | |
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38
crunch
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n.关键时刻;艰难局面;v.发出碎裂声 | |
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decided
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adj.决定了的,坚决的;明显的,明确的 | |
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40
squatted
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v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的过去式和过去分词 );非法擅自占用(土地或房屋);为获得其所有权;而占用某片公共用地。 | |
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twig
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n.小树枝,嫩枝;v.理解 | |
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momentous
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adj.重要的,重大的 | |
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bloody
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adj.非常的的;流血的;残忍的;adv.很;vt.血染 | |
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wreckage
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n.(失事飞机等的)残骸,破坏,毁坏 | |
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