OF THE COUSIN AND THE BLACK CABINET—AND OF HENRY ASHWOODE'S DECISIVE INTERVIEW WITH LADY STUKELY.
"Well, then," said Ashwoode, a few days after the occurrences which have just been faithfully recorded, "it behoves me without loss of time to make provision for this infernal bond; until I see it burned to dust, I feel as if I stood in the dock. This sha'n't last long—my stars be thanked, one door of escape lies open to me, and through it I will pass; the sun shall not go down upon my uncertainty2. To be sure, I shall be—but curse it, it can't be helped now; and let them laugh, and quiz, and sneer3 as they please, two-thirds of them would be but too glad to marry Lady Stukely with half her fortune, were she twice as old and twice as ugly—if, indeed, either were possible. Pshaw! the laugh will subside4 in a week, and in the style in which I shall open, curse me, if half the world won't lie at my feet. Give me but money—money—plenty of money, and though I be a paragon5 of absurdity6 and vice7, the whole town will vote me a Solomon and a saint; so let's have no more shivering by the brink8, but plunge9 boldly in at once and have it over."
Fortified10 with these reflections, Sir Henry Ashwoode vaulted11 lightly into his saddle, and putting his horse into an easy canter, he found himself speedily at Lady Stukely's house in Stephen's Green. His servant held the rein12 and he dismounted, and, having obtained admission, summoned all his resolution, lightly mounted the stairs, and entered the handsome drawing-room. Lady Stukely was not there, but his cousin, Emily Copland, received him.
"Lady Betty is not visible, then?" inquired he, after a little chat upon indifferent subjects.
"I believe she is out shopping—indeed, you may be very certain she is not at home," replied Emily, with a malicious13 smile; "her ladyship is always visible to you. Now confess, have you ever had much cruelty or coldness to complain of at dear Lady Stukely's hands?"
Ashwoode laughed, and perhaps for a moment appeared a little disconcerted.
"I do admit, then, as you insist on placing me in the confessional, that I have always found Lady Betty as kind and polite as I could have expected or hoped," rejoined Ashwoode, assuming a grave and particularly proper air; "I were particularly ungrateful if I said otherwise."
"Oh, ho! so her ladyship has actually succeeded in inspiring my platonic14 cousin with gratitude15," continued Emily, in the same tone, "and gratitude we all know is Cupid's best disguise. Alas16, and alack-a-day, to what vile17 uses may we come at last—alas, my poor coz."
"Nay18, nay, Emily," replied he, a little piqued19, "you need not write my epitaph yet; I don't see exactly why you should pity me so enormously."
"Haven't you confessed that you glow with gratitude to Lady Stukely?" rejoined she.
"Nonsense! I said nothing about glowing; but what if I had?" answered he.
"Then you acknowledge that you do glow! Heaven help him, the man actually glows," ejaculated Emily.
"Pshaw! stuff, nonsense. Emily, don't be a blockhead," said he, impatiently.
"Oh! Harry20, Harry, Harry, don't deny it," continued she, shaking her head with intense solemnity, and holding up her fingers in a monitory manner—"you are then actually in love. Oh, Benedick, poor Benedick! would thou hadst chosen some Beatrice not quite so well stricken in years; but what of that?—the beauties of age, if less attractive to the eye of thoughtless folly21 than those of youth, are unquestionably more durable22; time may rob the cheek of its bloom, but I defy him to rob it of its rouge23; years—I might say centuries—have no power to blanche a wig24 or thin its flowing locks; and though the nymph be blind with age, what matters it if the swain be blind with love? I make no doubt you'll be fully1 as happy together as if she had twice as long to live."
"The brilliant blush of her cheek and the raven26 blackness of her wig," continued the incorrigible27 Emily, "in close and striking contrast, will remind you, and I trust usefully, of that rouge et noir which has been your ruin all your days."
"The exquisite29 roundness of her ladyship's figure will remind you that flesh, if not exactly grass, is at least very little better than bran and buckram; and her smile will invariably suggest the great truth, that whenever you do not intend to bite it is better not to show your teeth, especially when they happen to be like her ladyship's; in short, you cannot look at her without feeling that in every particular, if rightly read, she supplied a moral lesson, so that in her presence every unruly passion of man's nature must entirely30 subside and sink to rest. Yes, she will make you happy—eminently happy; every little attention, every caress31, every fond glance she throws at you, will delightfully32 assure your affectionate spirit, as it wanders in memory back to the days of earliest childhood, that she will be to you all that your beloved grandmother could have been, had she been spared. Oh! Harry, Harry, this will indeed be too much happiness."
Another pause ensued, and Emily approached Sir Henry as he stood sulkily by the mantelpiece, and laying her hand upon his arm, looked archly up into his face, while shaking her head she slowly said,—
"Oh! love, love—oh! Cupid, Cupid, mischievous33 little boy, what hast thou done with my poor cousin's heart?
"''Twas on a widow's jointure land
As she said this, she looked so unutterably mischievous and comical, that in spite of his vexation and all his efforts to the contrary, he burst into a long and hearty35 fit of laughter.
"Emily," said he, at length, "you are absolutely incorrigible—gravity in your company is entirely out of the question; but listen to me seriously for one moment, if you can. I will tell you plainly how I am circumstanced, and you must promise me in return that you will not quiz me any more about the matter. But first," he added, cautiously, "let us guard against eavesdroppers."
He accordingly walked into the next room, which opened upon that in which they were, and proceeded to close the far door. Before he had reached it, however, that in the other room opened, and Lady Stukely herself entered. The instant she appeared, Emily Copland by a gesture enjoined36 silence, nodded towards the door of the next room, from which Ashwoode's voice, as he carelessly hummed an air, was audible; she then frowned, nodded, and pointed37 with vehement38 repetition toward a dark recess39 in the wall, made darker and more secure by the flanking projection40 of a huge, black, varnished41 cabinet. Lady Stukely looked puzzled, took a step in the direction of the post of concealment42 indicated by the girl, then looked puzzled, and hesitated again. More impatiently Emily repeated her signal, and her ladyship, without any distinct reason, but with her curiosity all alive, glided43 behind the protecting cabinet, with all its army of china ornaments44, into the recess, and there remained entirely concealed45. She had hardly effected this movement, which the deep-piled carpet enabled her to do without noise, when Ashwoode returned, closed the door of communication between the two rooms, and then shut that through which Lady Stukely had just entered, almost brushing against her as he did so, so close was their proximity46. These precautions taken, he returned.
"Now," said he, in a low and deliberate tone, "the plain facts of the case are just these. I am dipped over head and ears in debt—debts, too, of the most urgent kind—debts which threaten me with ruin. Now, these must be paid—one way or another they must be met. And to effect this I have but one course—one expedient47, and you have guessed it. No man knows better than I what Lady Stukely is. I can see all that is ridiculous and repulsive48 about her just as clearly as anybody else. She is old enough to be my grandmother, and ugly enough to be the devil's—and, moreover, painted and varnished over like a signboard. She may be a fool—she may be a termagant—she may be what you please—but—but she has money. She has been throwing herself into my arms this twelvemonth or more—and—but what the deuce is that?"
This interrogatory was caused by certain choking sounds which proceeded with fearful suddenness from the place of Lady Stukely's concealment, and which were instantaneously followed by the appearance of her ladyship in bodily presence. She opened her mouth, but gave utterance49 to nothing but a gasp—drew herself up with such portentous50 and swelling51 magnificence, that Ashwoode almost expected to see her expand like the spectre of a magic-lantern until her head touched the ceiling. Forward she came, in her progress sweeping52 a score of china ornaments from the cabinet, and strewing53 the whole floor with the crashing fragments of monkeys, monsters, and mandarins, breathless, choking, and almost black with rage, Lady Stukely advanced to Ashwoode, who stood, for the first time in his life, bereft54 of every vestige55 of self-possession.
"Painted! varnished!" she screamed hysterically56, "ridiculous! repulsive! Oh, heaven and earth! you—you preternatural monster!" With these words she uttered two piercing shrieks58, and threw herself in strong hysterics into a chair, holding on her wig distractedly with one hand, for fear of accidents.
"Don't—don't ring the bell," said she, with an abrupt59 accession of fortitude60, observing Emily Copland approach the bell. "Don't, I shall be better presently." And then, with another shriek57, she opened afresh.
As the hysterics subsided61, Ashwoode began a little to recover his scattered62 wits, and observing that Lady Stukely had sunk back in extreme languor63 and exhaustion64, with closed eyes, he ventured to approach the shrine65 of his outraged66 divinity.
"I feel—indeed I own, Lady Stukely," he said, hesitatingly, "I have much to explain. I ought to explain—yes, I ought. I will, Lady Stukely—and—and I can entirely satisfy—completely dispel——"
He was interrupted here; for Lady Stukely, starting bolt upright in the chair, exclaimed,—
"You wretch67! you villain68! you perjured69, scheming, designing, lying, paltry70, stupid, insignificant71, outrageous——"
Whether it was that her ladyship wanted words to supply a climax72, or that hysterics are usually attended with such results, we cannot pretend to say, but certain it is that at this precise point the languishing73, fashionable, die-away Lady Stukely actually spat74 in the young baronet's face.
Ashwoode changed colour, as he promptly75 discharged the ridiculous but very necessary task of wiping his face. With difficulty he restrained himself under this provocation76, but he did command himself so far as to say nothing. He turned on his heel and walked downstairs, muttering as he went,—
"An old painted devil!"
The cool air, as he passed out, speedily dissipated the confusion and excitement of the scene that had just passed, and all the consequences of his rupture77 with Lady Stukely rushed upon his mind with overwhelming and maddening force.
"You were right, perfectly78 right—he is a cheat—a trickster—a villain!" exclaimed Lady Stukely. "Only to think of him! Oh, heaven and earth!" And again she was seized with violent hysterics, in which state she was conducted up to her bedroom by Emily Copland, who had enjoyed the catastrophe79 with an intensity80 of relish81 which none but a female, and a mischievous one to boot, can know.
Loud and repeated were Lady Stukely's thanksgivings for having escaped the snares82 of the designing young baronet, and warm and multiplied and grateful her acknowledgments to Emily Copland—to whom, however, from that time forth83 she cherished an intense dislike.
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1
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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uncertainty
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| n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物 | |
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sneer
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| v.轻蔑；嘲笑；n.嘲笑，讥讽的言语 | |
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subside
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| vi.平静，平息；下沉，塌陷，沉降 | |
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paragon
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| n.模范，典型 | |
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absurdity
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| n.荒谬，愚蠢；谬论 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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brink
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| n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘，边沿 | |
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plunge
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| v.跳入，(使)投入，(使)陷入；猛冲 | |
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fortified
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| adj. 加强的 | |
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vaulted
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| adj.拱状的 | |
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rein
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| n.疆绳，统治，支配；vt.以僵绳控制，统治 | |
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malicious
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| adj.有恶意的，心怀恶意的 | |
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platonic
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| adj.精神的；柏拉图（哲学）的 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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piqued
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| v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的过去式和过去分词 )；激起（好奇心） | |
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harry
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| vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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durable
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| adj.持久的，耐久的 | |
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rouge
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| n.胭脂，口红唇膏；v.(在…上)擦口红 | |
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wig
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| n.假发 | |
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poked
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| v.伸出( poke的过去式和过去分词 )；戳出；拨弄；与（某人）性交 | |
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raven
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| n.渡鸟，乌鸦；adj.乌亮的 | |
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incorrigible
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| adj.难以纠正的，屡教不改的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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delightfully
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| 大喜，欣然 | |
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mischievous
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| adj.调皮的，恶作剧的，有害的，伤人的 | |
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archer
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| n.射手，弓箭手 | |
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hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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enjoined
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| v.命令( enjoin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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vehement
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| adj.感情强烈的；热烈的；(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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recess
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| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
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projection
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| n.发射，计划，突出部分 | |
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varnished
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| 浸渍过的，涂漆的 | |
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concealment
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| n.隐藏, 掩盖，隐瞒 | |
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43
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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44
ornaments
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| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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45
concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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proximity
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| n.接近，邻近 | |
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expedient
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| adj.有用的，有利的；n.紧急的办法，权宜之计 | |
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repulsive
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| adj.排斥的，使人反感的 | |
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utterance
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| n.用言语表达，话语，言语 | |
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portentous
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| adj.不祥的，可怕的，装腔作势的 | |
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swelling
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| n.肿胀 | |
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52
sweeping
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| adj.范围广大的，一扫无遗的 | |
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strewing
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| v.撒在…上( strew的现在分词 )；散落于；点缀；撒满 | |
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bereft
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| adj.被剥夺的 | |
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vestige
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| n.痕迹，遗迹，残余 | |
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hysterically
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| ad. 歇斯底里地 | |
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shriek
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| v./n.尖叫，叫喊 | |
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shrieks
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| n.尖叫声( shriek的名词复数 )v.尖叫( shriek的第三人称单数 ) | |
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abrupt
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| adj.突然的，意外的；唐突的，鲁莽的 | |
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fortitude
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| n.坚忍不拔；刚毅 | |
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61
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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scattered
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| adj.分散的，稀疏的；散步的；疏疏落落的 | |
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languor
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| n.无精力，倦怠 | |
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exhaustion
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| n.耗尽枯竭，疲惫，筋疲力尽，竭尽，详尽无遗的论述 | |
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shrine
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| n.圣地，神龛，庙；v.将...置于神龛内，把...奉为神圣 | |
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66
outraged
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| a.震惊的，义愤填膺的 | |
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wretch
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| n.可怜的人，不幸的人；卑鄙的人 | |
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villain
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| n.反派演员，反面人物；恶棍；问题的起因 | |
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perjured
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| adj.伪证的，犯伪证罪的v.发假誓，作伪证( perjure的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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paltry
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| adj.无价值的，微不足道的 | |
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71
insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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climax
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| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
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languishing
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| a. 衰弱下去的 | |
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74
spat
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| n.口角，掌击；v.发出呼噜呼噜声 | |
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promptly
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| adv.及时地，敏捷地 | |
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76
provocation
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| n.激怒，刺激，挑拨，挑衅的事物，激怒的原因 | |
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rupture
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| n.破裂；(关系的)决裂；v.(使)破裂 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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catastrophe
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| n.大灾难，大祸 | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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81
relish
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| n.滋味，享受，爱好，调味品；vt.加调味料，享受，品味；vi.有滋味 | |
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82
snares
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| n.陷阱( snare的名词复数 )；圈套；诱人遭受失败（丢脸、损失等）的东西；诱惑物v.用罗网捕捉，诱陷，陷害( snare的第三人称单数 ) | |
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83
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
参考例句： |
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