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首页 » 经典英文小说 » The mill of silence » CHAPTER XXIV. LOST.
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CHAPTER XXIV. LOST.
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The week that followed was a sad and lonely one to me. My romance was ended—my friend parted from me—my heart ever wincing1 under the torture of self-reproach.
 
As to the first, it would seem that I should have no great reason for insuperable regret. The situation had been made for, not by me; I was free to let my thoughts revert2 unhampered to the object of my first and only true love.
 
That was all so; yet I know I brooded over my loss for the time being, as if it were the greatest that could have befallen me. Such is human inconsistency. So he who, vainly seeking some large reward, condescends4 half-disdainfully to a smaller, is altogether disproportionately vexed5 if the latter is unexpectedly denied him.
 
I went about my work in a hopeless, mechanical manner that only scarcely concealed6 the bitter ache my heart endured. Occasionally, at rare intervals7, I came across Dolly, but formally only and never to exchange a word. Furtively8 glancing at her when this happened, I noticed that she looked pale, and, I thought, not happy, but this may have been nothing but fancy, for my hasty view was generally limited to half-profile. Of me she took no heed9, desiring, apparently10, the absolute close of our old intercourse11, and mere12 pride precluded13 me from making any further effort toward an explanation.
 
Would that even then I had been wise or noble enough to force the barrier of reserve. God knows but I might have been in time to save her. Yet maybe my attitude was not altogether unjustified. To put me on the footing of a formal stranger was heavy punishment for a fault committed under motives14 that were anything, at least, but base.
 
With Duke my intercourse was confined to the office and to matters of business. He showed no unfriendly spirit toward me there and no desire for a resumption of our old terms. He never, in public or private, touched upon the subject that was nearest both our hearts, or alluded15 to it in any way. If I was conscious of any melancholy16 shadow towering between us it was not because he sought to lend to its features the gloom that must be enwrapping his own soul.
 
At last the week ended, and the silence, that had lain black and ominous17 as a snake along it, was awakened18 and reared itself, poisonous for a spring. Yet its voice spoke19 up musical at first.
 
It was Saturday afternoon, and I was walking home toward my lodgings20 in a very depressed21 frame of mind, when a step came behind me and Duke fell into step alongside.
 
“Renny,” he said, “I think it right to tell you. I have taken the privilege of an old friend and spoken to Dolly on a certain subject.”
 
I nodded. The mere fact was a relief to me.
 
“We could only exchange a few words, but she has promised to come out with me to-morrow; and then, I hope, I shall learn more. What time will you be at home?”
 
I told him all day, if there was a chance of his turning up.
 
“Very well,” he said; “then I will call in upon you some time or other. Good-by.”
 
He seemed to be on the point of going, but to alter his mind, and he suddenly took my hand and pressed it hard.
 
“Are you lonely, old fellow?”
 
“Very, Duke—and I deserve to be.”
 
“It’s for the best? You agree with me?”
 
“Quite.”
 
He looked sorrowfully in my face, wrung22 my hand a second time and walked off rapidly.
 
It was the expression of his I ever after remembered with most pathetic heart-sickness and love. I never saw it in his eyes again—never again.
 
I rose upon the Sunday morning restless still and unrefreshed. An undefinable feeling of ominous expectancy23 would not let me sit quiet or read or do anything but lend my mind to extravagant24 speculations25 and pace the room up and down in nervous irritability26.
 
At last, thoroughly27 tired out, I threw myself into an easy-chair and dozed28 off from sheer exhaustion29. I could not have slept many minutes, when a clap in my ears awoke me. It might have been an explosive burst of thunder, so loudly it slammed upon my senses. Yet it was nothing more than the closing of the room door.
 
Then I struggled to my feet, for Duke stood before me, and I saw that his face was white and menacing as death’s own.
 
“Get up!” he cried, in a harsh, stern voice. “I want to ask you something.”
 
I faced him and my heart seemed to suddenly swerve30 down with a sickly sensation.
 
“What is it?” I muttered.
 
“She’s gone—that’s all!”
 
“Gone?”
 
“She never met me this morning as she promised. I waited an hour—more. Then I grew frightened and went to her lodgings. She had left the evening before, saying she wasn’t coming back. A man came to fetch her and she went away with him. Do you understand?—with him!”
 
“With whom?” I asked, in a confused, reeling manner; yet I knew.
 
“I want you to tell me.”
 
“How can I, Duke?”
 
“I want you to say what you have done with your trust? There has been something going on of late—some secret kept from me. Where is that brother of yours?”
 
“I know no more than you do.”
 
“I shall find out before long. The cunning doesn’t exist that could keep him hidden from me if—if he is a party to this. Why are you silent? I can read it in your eyes. They have met, and it must have been through you.”
 
“Before God, it wasn’t!”
 
“Then they have!” He put his hand to his face and staggered as if he had been struck there.
 
“Oh!” he gasped31; “the horror of what I dreaded32!”
 
Then he came closer and snarled33 at me:
 
“Here’s a friend, out of all the world! So patronizing to accept the poor little treasure of my life and soul, and so royal to roll it in the mud! Was this a put-up affair between you?”
 
“You are hateful and unjust!” I cried, stung beyond endurance. “He forced himself upon us last Sunday. I was brutal34, almost, in my efforts to get rid of him. But for some reason or other, Dolly—Miss Mellison—took his side. When I found so, I left them in a huff and repented35 almost immediately. But, though I sought far and near, I never came across them again till evening.”
 
He listened with a black, gloomy impatience36.
 
“You acted well, by your own confession,” said he. “You played the part of a true friend and lover by leaving her alone for a moment only in the company of that paragon37.”
 
“I oughtn’t to, I know.”
 
He gave a high, grating laugh.
 
“But, putting me on one side,” I began, when he took me up with the most intense acrid38 bitterness.
 
“Why can’t I, indeed—you and all your precious kith and kin3? Why did I ever save you from being knocked on the head in that thieves’ garden? I was happy before—God knows I might have been happy in another way now. You’ve proved the viper39 on my hearth40 with a vengeance41. Put you on one side? Ah, I dare say that would suit you well—to shirk the responsibility of your own act and leave the suffering to others.”
 
“I have suffered, Duke, and always shall. I won’t gainsay42 you—but this hurts me perhaps only one degree less than it does you. Why put the worst construction on it?”
 
He gave another cruel laugh.
 
“Let’s have your theory of her vanishing without a word to me,” he said.
 
“At least you can’t be certain that it—it was my brother.”
 
“How perspicacious43 of you! You don’t think so yourself, do you? Or that I should have meekly44 accepted that woman’s statement without some inquiry45 as to the appearance of the interesting stranger?”
 
He dropped his cruelly bantering46 manner for one hard as iron and ferocious47.
 
“Let’s stop this double-faced foolery. I want his address of you.”
 
“I haven’t got it, you know.”
 
“You can’t guess at it?”
 
“Not possibly. What would you do if you had it?”
 
“What do you think? Call and offer my congratulations, of course.”
 
“Don’t be a madman. You know nothing for certain. Wait and see if she doesn’t turn up at the office as usual to-morrow.”
 
He seemed to think a moment, and then he threw up his hands with a loud, wailing48 moan.
 
“Lost!” he cried. “In my heart I know it.”
 
Did I not in mine? It had rung in my ears all night. I took a step toward him, greatly moved by his despairing, broken tone, but he waved me back fiercely.
 
“I curse the day,” he cried in bitter grief, “that ever I came across you. I would have let you rob me—that was nothing to her happiness; but now——”
 
“Let him look to himself,” he went on after a pause, in which he had mastered his emotion. “After to-morrow—I will wait till then—but afterward—the world isn’t wide enough to keep us apart. Better for him to run from an uncubbed tigress than this twisted cripple!”
 
He tossed one arm aloft with a wild, savage49 gesture and strode heavily from the room.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 wincing 377203086ce3e7442c3f6574a3b9c0c7     
赶紧避开,畏缩( wince的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • She switched on the light, wincing at the sudden brightness. 她打开了灯,突如其来的强烈光线刺得她不敢睜眼。
  • "I will take anything," he said, relieved, and wincing under reproof. “我什么事都愿意做,"他说,松了一口气,缩着头等着挨骂。 来自英汉文学 - 嘉莉妹妹
2 revert OBwzV     
v.恢复,复归,回到
参考例句:
  • Let us revert to the earlier part of the chapter.让我们回到本章的前面部分。
  • Shall we revert to the matter we talked about yesterday?我们接着昨天谈过的问题谈,好吗?
3 kin 22Zxv     
n.家族,亲属,血缘关系;adj.亲属关系的,同类的
参考例句:
  • He comes of good kin.他出身好。
  • She has gone to live with her husband's kin.她住到丈夫的亲戚家里去了。
4 condescends 9d55a56ceff23bc1ca1ee9eabb8ba64a     
屈尊,俯就( condescend的第三人称单数 ); 故意表示和蔼可亲
参考例句:
  • Our teacher rarely condescends to speak with us outside of class. 我们老师很少在课堂外屈尊与我们轻松地谈话。
  • He always condescends to his inferiors. 他对下属总是摆出施惠于人的态度。
5 vexed fd1a5654154eed3c0a0820ab54fb90a7     
adj.争论不休的;(指问题等)棘手的;争论不休的问题;烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 );使苦恼;使生气;详细讨论
参考例句:
  • The conference spent days discussing the vexed question of border controls. 会议花了几天的时间讨论边境关卡这个难题。
  • He was vexed at his failure. 他因失败而懊恼。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
6 concealed 0v3zxG     
a.隐藏的,隐蔽的
参考例句:
  • The paintings were concealed beneath a thick layer of plaster. 那些画被隐藏在厚厚的灰泥层下面。
  • I think he had a gun concealed about his person. 我认为他当时身上藏有一支枪。
7 intervals f46c9d8b430e8c86dea610ec56b7cbef     
n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 );间隔时间;[数学]区间;(戏剧、电影或音乐会的)幕间休息
参考例句:
  • The forecast said there would be sunny intervals and showers. 预报间晴,有阵雨。
  • Meetings take place at fortnightly intervals. 每两周开一次会。
8 furtively furtively     
adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地
参考例句:
  • At this some of the others furtively exchanged significant glances. 听他这样说,有几个人心照不宣地彼此对望了一眼。
  • Remembering my presence, he furtively dropped it under his chair. 后来想起我在,他便偷偷地把书丢在椅子下。
9 heed ldQzi     
v.注意,留意;n.注意,留心
参考例句:
  • You must take heed of what he has told.你要注意他所告诉的事。
  • For the first time he had to pay heed to his appearance.这是他第一次非得注意自己的外表不可了。
10 apparently tMmyQ     
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎
参考例句:
  • An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽,豁然开朗。
  • He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
11 intercourse NbMzU     
n.性交;交流,交往,交际
参考例句:
  • The magazine becomes a cultural medium of intercourse between the two peoples.该杂志成为两民族间文化交流的媒介。
  • There was close intercourse between them.他们过往很密。
12 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
13 precluded 84f6ba3bf290d49387f7cf6189bc2f80     
v.阻止( preclude的过去式和过去分词 );排除;妨碍;使…行不通
参考例句:
  • Abdication is precluded by the lack of a possible successor. 因为没有可能的继承人,让位无法实现。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The bad weather precluded me from attending the meeting. 恶劣的天气使我不能出席会议。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
14 motives 6c25d038886898b20441190abe240957     
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • to impeach sb's motives 怀疑某人的动机
  • His motives are unclear. 他的用意不明。
15 alluded 69f7a8b0f2e374aaf5d0965af46948e7     
提及,暗指( allude的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • In your remarks you alluded to a certain sinister design. 在你的谈话中,你提到了某个阴谋。
  • She also alluded to her rival's past marital troubles. 她还影射了对手过去的婚姻问题。
16 melancholy t7rz8     
n.忧郁,愁思;adj.令人感伤(沮丧)的,忧郁的
参考例句:
  • All at once he fell into a state of profound melancholy.他立即陷入无尽的忧思之中。
  • He felt melancholy after he failed the exam.这次考试没通过,他感到很郁闷。
17 ominous Xv6y5     
adj.不祥的,不吉的,预兆的,预示的
参考例句:
  • Those black clouds look ominous for our picnic.那些乌云对我们的野餐来说是个不祥之兆。
  • There was an ominous silence at the other end of the phone.电话那头出现了不祥的沉默。
18 awakened de71059d0b3cd8a1de21151c9166f9f0     
v.(使)醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 );(使)觉醒;弄醒;(使)意识到
参考例句:
  • She awakened to the sound of birds singing. 她醒来听到鸟的叫声。
  • The public has been awakened to the full horror of the situation. 公众完全意识到了这一状况的可怕程度。 来自《简明英汉词典》
19 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
20 lodgings f12f6c99e9a4f01e5e08b1197f095e6e     
n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍
参考例句:
  • When he reached his lodgings the sun had set. 他到达公寓房间时,太阳已下山了。
  • I'm on the hunt for lodgings. 我正在寻找住所。
21 depressed xu8zp9     
adj.沮丧的,抑郁的,不景气的,萧条的
参考例句:
  • When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
  • His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。
22 wrung b11606a7aab3e4f9eebce4222a9397b1     
绞( wring的过去式和过去分词 ); 握紧(尤指别人的手); 把(湿衣服)拧干; 绞掉(水)
参考例句:
  • He has wrung the words from their true meaning. 他曲解这些字的真正意义。
  • He wrung my hand warmly. 他热情地紧握我的手。
23 expectancy tlMys     
n.期望,预期,(根据概率统计求得)预期数额
参考例句:
  • Japanese people have a very high life expectancy.日本人的平均寿命非常长。
  • The atomosphere of tense expectancy sobered everyone.这种期望的紧张气氛使每个人变得严肃起来。
24 extravagant M7zya     
adj.奢侈的;过分的;(言行等)放肆的
参考例句:
  • They tried to please him with fulsome compliments and extravagant gifts.他们想用溢美之词和奢华的礼品来取悦他。
  • He is extravagant in behaviour.他行为放肆。
25 speculations da17a00acfa088f5ac0adab7a30990eb     
n.投机买卖( speculation的名词复数 );思考;投机活动;推断
参考例句:
  • Your speculations were all quite close to the truth. 你的揣测都很接近于事实。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • This possibility gives rise to interesting speculations. 这种可能性引起了有趣的推测。 来自《用法词典》
26 irritability oR0zn     
n.易怒
参考例句:
  • It was the almost furtive restlessness and irritability that had possessed him. 那是一种一直纠缠着他的隐秘的不安和烦恼。
  • All organisms have irritability while alive. 所有生物体活着时都有应激性。
27 thoroughly sgmz0J     
adv.完全地,彻底地,十足地
参考例句:
  • The soil must be thoroughly turned over before planting.一定要先把土地深翻一遍再下种。
  • The soldiers have been thoroughly instructed in the care of their weapons.士兵们都系统地接受过保护武器的训练。
28 dozed 30eca1f1e3c038208b79924c30b35bfc     
v.打盹儿,打瞌睡( doze的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He boozed till daylight and dozed into the afternoon. 他喝了个通霄,昏沉沉地一直睡到下午。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • I dozed off during the soporific music. 我听到这催人入睡的音乐,便不知不觉打起盹儿来了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
29 exhaustion OPezL     
n.耗尽枯竭,疲惫,筋疲力尽,竭尽,详尽无遗的论述
参考例句:
  • She slept the sleep of exhaustion.她因疲劳而酣睡。
  • His exhaustion was obvious when he fell asleep standing.他站着睡着了,显然是太累了。
30 swerve JF5yU     
v.突然转向,背离;n.转向,弯曲,背离
参考例句:
  • Nothing will swerve him from his aims.什么也不能使他改变目标。
  • Her car swerved off the road into a 6ft high brick wall.她的车突然转向冲出了马路,撞向6英尺高的一面砖墙。
31 gasped e6af294d8a7477229d6749fa9e8f5b80     
v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要
参考例句:
  • She gasped at the wonderful view. 如此美景使她惊讶得屏住了呼吸。
  • People gasped with admiration at the superb skill of the gymnasts. 体操运动员的高超技艺令人赞叹。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
32 dreaded XuNzI3     
adj.令人畏惧的;害怕的v.害怕,恐惧,担心( dread的过去式和过去分词)
参考例句:
  • The dreaded moment had finally arrived. 可怕的时刻终于来到了。
  • He dreaded having to spend Christmas in hospital. 他害怕非得在医院过圣诞节不可。 来自《用法词典》
33 snarled ti3zMA     
v.(指狗)吠,嗥叫, (人)咆哮( snarl的过去式和过去分词 );咆哮着说,厉声地说
参考例句:
  • The dog snarled at us. 狗朝我们低声吼叫。
  • As I advanced towards the dog, It'snarled and struck at me. 我朝那条狗走去时,它狂吠着向我扑来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
34 brutal bSFyb     
adj.残忍的,野蛮的,不讲理的
参考例句:
  • She has to face the brutal reality.她不得不去面对冷酷的现实。
  • They're brutal people behind their civilised veneer.他们表面上温文有礼,骨子里却是野蛮残忍。
35 repented c24481167c6695923be1511247ed3c08     
对(自己的所为)感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He repented his thoughtlessness. 他后悔自己的轻率。
  • Darren repented having shot the bird. 达伦后悔射杀了那只鸟。
36 impatience OaOxC     
n.不耐烦,急躁
参考例句:
  • He expressed impatience at the slow rate of progress.进展缓慢,他显得不耐烦。
  • He gave a stamp of impatience.他不耐烦地跺脚。
37 paragon 1KexV     
n.模范,典型
参考例句:
  • He was considered to be a paragon of virtue.他被认为是品德尽善尽美的典范。
  • Man is the paragon of animals.人是万物之灵。
38 acrid TJEy4     
adj.辛辣的,尖刻的,刻薄的
参考例句:
  • There is an acrid tone to your remarks.你说这些话的口气带有讥刺意味。
  • The room was filled with acrid smoke.房里充满刺鼻的烟。
39 viper Thlwl     
n.毒蛇;危险的人
参考例句:
  • Envy lucks at the bottom of the human heart a viper in its hole.嫉妒潜伏在人心底,如同毒蛇潜伏在穴中。
  • Be careful of that viper;he is dangerous.小心那个阴险的人,他很危险。
40 hearth n5by9     
n.壁炉炉床,壁炉地面
参考例句:
  • She came and sat in a chair before the hearth.她走过来,在炉子前面的椅子上坐下。
  • She comes to the hearth,and switches on the electric light there.她走到壁炉那里,打开电灯。
41 vengeance wL6zs     
n.报复,报仇,复仇
参考例句:
  • He swore vengeance against the men who murdered his father.他发誓要向那些杀害他父亲的人报仇。
  • For years he brooded vengeance.多年来他一直在盘算报仇。
42 gainsay ozAyL     
v.否认,反驳
参考例句:
  • She is a fine woman-that nobody can gainsay.她是个好女人无人能否认。
  • No one will gainsay his integrity.没有人对他的正直有话可讲。
43 perspicacious zM9xO     
adj.聪颖的,敏锐的
参考例句:
  • It is very perspicacious of you to find the cause of the trouble so quickly.你真是明察秋毫,问题的原因这么快就找出来了。
  • He's an impartial and perspicacious judge.这位法官明镜高悬。
44 meekly meekly     
adv.温顺地,逆来顺受地
参考例句:
  • He stood aside meekly when the new policy was proposed. 当有人提出新政策时,他唯唯诺诺地站 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • He meekly accepted the rebuke. 他顺从地接受了批评。 来自《简明英汉词典》
45 inquiry nbgzF     
n.打听,询问,调查,查问
参考例句:
  • Many parents have been pressing for an inquiry into the problem.许多家长迫切要求调查这个问题。
  • The field of inquiry has narrowed down to five persons.调查的范围已经缩小到只剩5个人了。
46 bantering Iycz20     
adj.嘲弄的v.开玩笑,说笑,逗乐( banter的现在分词 );(善意地)取笑,逗弄
参考例句:
  • There was a friendly, bantering tone in his voice. 他的声音里流露着友好诙谐的语调。
  • The students enjoyed their teacher's bantering them about their mistakes. 同学们对老师用风趣的方式讲解他们的错误很感兴趣。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
47 ferocious ZkNxc     
adj.凶猛的,残暴的,极度的,十分强烈的
参考例句:
  • The ferocious winds seemed about to tear the ship to pieces.狂风仿佛要把船撕成碎片似的。
  • The ferocious panther is chasing a rabbit.那只凶猛的豹子正追赶一只兔子。
48 wailing 25fbaeeefc437dc6816eab4c6298b423     
v.哭叫,哀号( wail的现在分词 );沱
参考例句:
  • A police car raced past with its siren wailing. 一辆警车鸣着警报器飞驰而过。
  • The little girl was wailing miserably. 那小女孩难过得号啕大哭。
49 savage ECxzR     
adj.野蛮的;凶恶的,残暴的;n.未开化的人
参考例句:
  • The poor man received a savage beating from the thugs.那可怜的人遭到暴徒的痛打。
  • He has a savage temper.他脾气粗暴。


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