"George," she said softly as he would have passed her, and he swung round and bent3 and took her in his arms, without hesitation4 or mistake.
"Were you waiting for me?" he whispered, and felt her nod against his coat. She freed herself very gently. "Shall we stay out here?" he said.
"No. I have left Notya long enough."
"What made you wait for me?"
"I—don't know," she said. She had not asked herself the question, and now the unspoken answer shocked her with its significance. She had gone to wait for him without any thought. It might have been the night that drew her out, but she knew it was not that. Once before, she had called herself a slave, and so she labelled herself again, but now she did it tremulously, without fierceness, aware that it was her own nature to which she was chiefly bound.
"Are you going to wait for me every night?" she heard him say. "Give me your hand, Helen. It is so small. Will you go over the wall or through the door? I'd like to lift you over."
"No. I want to go through the garden. There are primroses6 there. Big ones, like stars."
"It's you that are a star."
"I think they liked the snow. And the poplars are all buds. I wish I could sit in the tree-tops and look right across the moor."
"And wait for me. And when I came I'd hold my arms out and you'd jump into them."
"If I didn't fly away."
"Ay, I expect you would do that."
They did not speak again until they reached the house, and when she had lighted the kitchen lamp she saw him looking moodily7 into the fire.
"Is Mrs. Biggs better?" she asked smoothly8.
"What do you know about her?"
"I heard she was ill."
"Who told you?"
"Dr. Mackenzie."
"Oh, he's been again, has he?"
"Yes." Her voice had a ring in it. "And he will come tomorrow."
"And the next day, I suppose, and the next. I should have thought he'd spare that old nag9 of his; but no, up he comes, and I want to know why."
She did not answer immediately because she feared to betray the indignation that moved in her like a living thing. She found her sewing and signed to him to put her chair into its place, and when she had stitched steadily10 for a time she said in pleasant tones, "George, you are like a bad person in a book."
"I'm not up to this kind of talk. You told me yourself that Mrs. Caniper hardly needs a doctor. What does he come for, then? Is it for you?"
"No, it is not."
"Do you like the man?"
She opened her lips and shut them several times before she spoke5. "I'm very fond of him—and of Daniel."
"Oh, leave Daniel alone. No woman would look at him."
She gave him a considering gaze for which he could have struck her, because it put him further from her than he had ever been.
"It's no good staring at me like that. I've seen you with him before now."
"Everybody on the moor must have seen me with him."
"Yes, and walking pretty close. I remember that."
"Very likely you will see me walking with him again."
"No, by God!"
"Oh," she said, wearily, "how often you call on God's name."
"No wife of mine—"
She laughed. "You talk like Bluebeard. How many wives have you?"
"I've none," he cried in an extremity11 of bitterness. "But I'll have one yet, and I'll keep her fast!"
She lifted her head in the haughty12 way he dreaded13. "I will not endure suspicions," she said clearly, but she flushed at her own words, for she remembered that she had been willing to give Zebedee the lesser14 tokens of her love, and it was only by his sternness that she could look George in the eyes. Zebedee would have taken her boldly and completely, believing his action justified15, but he would have no little secret dealings, and she was abashed16 by the realization17 of her willingness to deceive. She was the nearer to George by that discovery, and the one shame made her readier to suffer more.
"It's because I want you," he said, shading his eyes; and for the first time she had no resentment18 for his desires.
"Oh, George, don't you think you had better go home?" she said.
"Why?" he asked her.
"Because—because I want to read."
"Well, I can watch you."
"And you won't think it rude?"
He shook his head. There was a rare joy in sitting within reach of her and honouring her with his restraint.
Her slim feet were crossed on the dog's back, and she hardly stirred except to turn a page: the firelight threw colours on her dress, behind her there was a dark dresser where china gleamed, and sitting there, she made a little picture of home for a man who could remember none but hired women in his house.
"I wish you'd talk to me," he said, and at once she shut her book with a charming air of willingness.
"Do you know what you've been reading about?" he dared to ask her slyly, for surely she had been conscious of his thoughts of her.
She would not be fluttered. "Yes. Shall I tell you?"
"No," he said.
Her voice was influenced by the quick beating of her heart.
"Do you never read anything?"
"I gave it up long ago."
"Why? What did you do at night before you—"
"Before I married you? I used to smoke and wish it was time to go to bed, and look at the newspaper sometimes."
"That must have been very dull."
"I used to watch the clock," he said. He leaned towards her and spoke quickly, softly. "And I watch it still! From waking till dusk I watch it and think of you, sitting and waiting for me. Oh, what's the good of talking to me of books? You're here—and you're my wife, and I'll talk to you of nothing but yourself." He knelt, and his hands were on her waist. "Yourself—my beauty—my little saint—your little hands and feet—your cheeks I want to kiss—your hair—" He drew her to his breast and whispered, "How long is it—your hair?"
There was no resistance in her, and her neck could not hold up the head that drooped19 over his shoulder when he kissed her ear and spoke in it.
"Helen—Helen—I love you. Tell me you love me. You've got to kiss me—Yes—"
She answered in a quiet voice, but she stopped for breath between the words. "I think—there's some one—in the hall. It must be John."
Reluctantly he loosed her, and she left him quickly for the dark passage which covered and yet cooled her as she called out, "John! Is that you?"
"Both of us," Rupert answered.
"But it's Friday."
"Yes. Won't you let me have a whole holiday tomorrow?"
She looked back into the kitchen and saw George prepared to meet her brothers. Never before had she seen him with so fine a manner, and, smiling at him, she felt like a conspirator20, leagued with this man who was liberated21 by possession of her, against the two who would feel horror when they learnt she was possessed22.
John's jaw23 tightened24 as he saw George and nodded to him, but Rupert's greeting had its usual friendliness25.
"Hullo, here's George!" They shook hands. "I've not seen you for months. What's the weather going to be tomorrow? It's starlight tonight."
"It'll be fine, I think."
"That's good. Helen, you've hidden my slippers26 again, and I told you not to. What a fiend for tidiness you are!"
"I couldn't leave them in the dust." She was half enjoying her self-consciousness. "They're in the cupboard."
"Find them, there's a dear."
She brought the slippers and went back to her chair. The three men seemed to fill the kitchen. John was silent and, leaning against the table, he filled his pipe and looked up sometimes as the others talked. Rupert, slim against Halkett's bulk, alert and straight, was thinking faster than he spoke, and while he reminded George of this and that, how they had gone ratting once together, how George had let him try a colt that he was breaking, Helen knew there were subtle questions in his brain, but if George suspected them, he gave no sign. He was at his ease, for with men he had neither diffidence nor surliness, and Helen remembered that she had hardly seen him except in the presence of Miriam or herself, two women who, in different ways, had teased him into sulkiness.
Her heart lightened and, when he chanced to look at her, she smiled again. A few seconds later, Rupert followed Helen's glance and learnt what had caused the slight confusion of George's speech. She was looking at him with an absorbed and hopeful interest. She was like a child attracted by some new and changeful thing, and her beauty had an animation27 it often lacked.
"Can't we all sit down?" Rupert said. He promised himself a pleasant evening of speculation28.
John handed his tobacco pouch29 to George and, having exchanged a few remarks about the frost, the snow, the lambing season, they seemed to consider that courtesy's demands had been fulfilled; but Rupert talked to hide the curiosity which could have little satisfaction until Halkett took his leave.
When he rose to go, he stood before Helen's chair and looked down at her. He was so near that she had to throw back her head before she could see his face.
"Good-night, George."
"Good-night." He took her hand and kissed it, nodded to the others, and went out.
Imperceptibly, Helen straightened herself and took a breath. There was a vague stir in the room.
"Well! I've never been more damned," John said.
"Why?" Helen asked.
"That salute30. Is it his usual manner?"
"He has done it before. I liked it."
"He did it very well," said Rupert. "Inspired, I should think. Will you have a cigarette?"
"Will it make me sick?"
"Try it. But why do we find you entertaining the moorland rake?"
She was absurd with the cigarette between her lips, and she asked mumblingly31 as Rupert held the match, "Why do you call him that?"
Rupert spread his hands. "He has a reputation."
"And he deserves it," said John.
She took the cigarette and many little pieces of tobacco from her mouth. "Before you go any further, I think I had better tell you that I am married to him."
"Good God!" John said, in a conversational32 tone.
There was a pause that threatened to be everlasting33.
"Helen, dear, did you say 'married to him'?"
"Yes, I did."
Rupert lighted one cigarette from another and carefully threw the old one into the fire.
"When?" John asked. He was still staring at her.
"I forget the date."
"Won't you tell us about it?" Rupert said. He leaned against the mantelpiece and puffed34 quickly.
"There's nothing more to tell."
"But when was it?" John persisted.
"Oh—about a month, six weeks, ago. The paper is upstairs, but one forgets."
"Wants to?"
"I didn't say so, did I? Notya is not to know."
"And Zebedee?"
"Of course he knows."
Rupert was frowning on her with a troubled look, and she knew he was trying to understand, that he was anxious not to hurt her.
"I'm damned if I understand it," John muttered.
Her lips had a set smile. "I'm sure," she said lightly, "you'll never be damned for that. I'm afraid I can't explain, but Zebedee knows everything."
They found nothing else to say: John turned away, at last, and busied himself uneasily with his pipe: Rupert's cigarette became distasteful, and, throwing it after the other, he drove his hands into his pockets and watched it burn.
"I suppose we ought to have congratulated George," he said, and looked grieved at the omission35.
Helen laughed on a high note, and though she knew she was disclosing her own trouble by that laughter, she could not stay it.
"Oh, Rupert, don't!"
"My dear, I know it's funny, but I meant it. I wish I could marry you myself."
She laughed again and waved them both away. "Go and see Notya. She may not be asleep."
When John came downstairs, he looked through the kitchen door and said good-night; then he advanced and kissed her. She could not remember when he had last done that, and it was, she thought, as though he kissed the dead. He patted her arm awkwardly.
"Good-night, child."
"Don't worry," she said, steadying her lips.
"Is there anything we can do?"
"Be nice to George."
"Oh, I've got to be."
"John, I wish you wouldn't talk as if he's—bad."
"I didn't mean to set myself up as judge, but I never liked him."
"But I like him," she said. "Go home and tell Lily. I'm afraid she'll lie awake all night!"
"What a family this is!"
"Once, I might have said that to you. I didn't, John."
"But we are a success."
"And why should we not be? We shall be! We—we are. Go home. Good-night."
She waited for Rupert, dreading36 his quick eyes.
"Notya seems better," he said easily. "Well, did you finish the cigarette?"
"I didn't like it."
"And it looked wrong. A piece of fine sewing suits you better."
She smiled. "Does it? Have you had supper?"
"Lily fed me. I like that girl. The only people I ever want to marry are the ones that some one else has chosen. It's contrariness, I suppose." He looked round. "Two arm-chairs? Do you always sit here?"
"Yes. Notya can't hear us."
"I see."
"And you want to see the rest?"
"I do."
"I shall show you nothing."
"I'd rather find it out."
"Tomorrow," she said, "you will see Daniel and Zebedee. I know you'll be curious about him. I don't mind, but don't let him notice it, please, Rupert."
He marked her little tremor37. "Trust me. I'm wasted on the bank."
"You and Daniel will have a fine talk, I suppose. The walls of that house are very thin. Be careful."
"Yes, my dear. I can't help wishing I had not left home."
She stood up. "I don't wish anything undone38. If you begin undoing39, you find yourself in a worse tangle40."
"You're not unhappy?"
"Do I look it?"
"You always answer one question with another. You didn't look it. You do now."
She sighed. "I almost wish you hadn't come, Rupert. You made beauty seem so near."
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收听单词发音
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1
moor
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| n.荒野，沼泽；vt.(使)停泊；vi.停泊 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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4
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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6
primroses
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| n.报春花( primrose的名词复数 )；淡黄色；追求享乐（招至恶果） | |
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7
moodily
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| adv.喜怒无常地；情绪多变地；心情不稳地；易生气地 | |
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8
smoothly
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| adv.平滑地，顺利地，流利地，流畅地 | |
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9
nag
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| v.(对…)不停地唠叨；n.爱唠叨的人 | |
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10
steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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11
extremity
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| n.末端，尽头；尽力；终极；极度 | |
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12
haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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13
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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14
lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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justified
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| a.正当的，有理的 | |
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abashed
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| adj.窘迫的，尴尬的v.使羞愧，使局促，使窘迫( abash的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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17
realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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18
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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19
drooped
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| 弯曲或下垂，发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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conspirator
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| n.阴谋者，谋叛者 | |
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liberated
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| a.无拘束的，放纵的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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23
jaw
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| n.颚，颌，说教，流言蜚语；v.喋喋不休，教训 | |
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24
tightened
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| 收紧( tighten的过去式和过去分词 )； （使）变紧； （使）绷紧； 加紧 | |
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25
friendliness
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| n.友谊，亲切，亲密 | |
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26
slippers
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| n. 拖鞋 | |
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27
animation
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| n.活泼，兴奋，卡通片／动画片的制作 | |
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28
speculation
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| n.思索，沉思；猜测；投机 | |
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29
pouch
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| n.小袋，小包，囊状袋；vt.装...入袋中，用袋运输；vi.用袋送信件 | |
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30
salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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31
mumblingly
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| 说话含糊地，咕哝地 | |
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conversational
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| adj.对话的，会话的 | |
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33
everlasting
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| adj.永恒的，持久的，无止境的 | |
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34
puffed
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| adj.疏松的v.使喷出( puff的过去式和过去分词 )；喷着汽（或烟）移动；吹嘘；吹捧 | |
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35
omission
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| n.省略，删节；遗漏或省略的事物，冗长 | |
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36
dreading
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| v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的现在分词 ) | |
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37
tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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38
undone
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| a.未做完的，未完成的 | |
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39
undoing
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| n.毁灭的原因，祸根；破坏，毁灭 | |
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40
tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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