After this Nosdrieff exhibited some Turkish daggers2, upon the one of them was unfortunately the name of a celebrated3 Russian armourer of the name of Siberiakoff. The exhibition was concluded by a grinding organ, which the owner began to turn with the intention of entertaining his guests with some music. The organ had a rather pleasing tone, but there seemed to be something wrong with it, because the Mazurka which it was just playing ended with "The Marlborough March," and "Marlborough's March" again, was suddenly superseded4 by a mixture of one of Strauss' waltzes.
Nosdrieff had long since left off turning the handle, yet there seemed to be an obstinate5 flute6 in the organ, which would not cease to send forth7 a long and plaintive8 tone, which continued for some considerable time to whistle all by itself. To make up for this mishap9, Nosdrieff produced his collection of pipes; there was a great variety of them, some of common red and white day, some meerschaums already coloured, and some others quite new, some of them were carefully sown into doeskin, others again had no doeskin; he also showed them some cherry tubes of great beauty and length, with amber10 mouth-pieces, and without any; among those with mouth-pieces there was a very valuable one which he had but recently won in a raffle11, he did not fail to boast of an embroidered12 tobacco-pouch, which he had received from a countess, whilst on his road to Smolensk, and who had fallen head over ears in love with him, and if we are to believe still further what he said about this adventure, the lady's hands were of such a beautiful shape that he could not find better words to express his appreciation13, of their perfection but by calling them "fatally superfine," which no doubt meant with him the highest degree of perfection.
After having shown all he possessed14 to his guests, he led them into the dining-room, where they took a small glass of liqueur to excite the appetite, and then sat down to dinner, considerably15 after five o'clock in the afternoon. A good dinner seemed not to be the first condition in the happy existence of Nosdrieff; a variety of dishes did not play a principal r?le upon his table; some of the eatables were too much roasted, whilst others were not sufficiently16 cooked. It was obvious that his chef de cuisine17 was accustomed to a kind of freemasonry in his art, and that he had made up the dishes with the first comestibles that came under his hands or notice; if pepper was the nearest article in his reach, he would throw some pepper into the saucepan, if cabbage was at hand, he was sure to stuff the saucepan with cabbage, add some milk, ham, peas, in a word, everything was thrown pell-mell into the boiler18, provided it was hot; as for the taste, he was sure that his cookery would have plenty of that.
To make up for any deficiencies of his cook, Nosdrieff stuck to the wine; soup was not yet served, when he had already supplied his guests with some port wine in two large tumblers, and some Haut Sauterne in two others, because in small provincial19 towns and country places they do not keep simple Sauterne. Nosdrieff then ordered his servant, Porphir—who served at table—to bring in a bottle of Madeira, of such an exquisite20 taste and dry quality that the Prince Field-Marshal Paskievitch would have been proud to taste it. The Madeira wine was really of a fiery21 taste, because the wine merchants were too well acquainted with the taste of landed proprietors22, who like a strong and dry glass of Madeira, and for that reason they mix it unmercifully with brandy, and sometimes even with the monopolised imperial raw spirit, in the hope that the excellent constitution of a Russian stomach will be able to digest it.
A little later, Nosdrieff ordered that another bottle should be brought in of some particularly good wine, which, according to his words, was both Burgundy and Champagne23; this wine he poured out very freely to the right and to the left, to his brother-in-law and to Tchichikoff; Tchichikoff, however, observed with a side glance, that Nosdrieff had taken but little himself of his extra wine. This made him become very cautious, and, as soon as Nosdrieff seemed warmly engaged in conversation with his brother-in-law, he immediately took advantage of the opportunity to pour some of that extra wine into his plate.
In the course of dinner, a roast heath-cock was put upon the table, which, according to Nosdrieff, would have its mild a taste as cream, but which, to the surprise of his guests, had a positive taste of a badly cooked sea-gull. They then tasted some French beaume, a sweet liqueur with such an extraordinary name that it was quite impossible to recollect24 it, for the host himself, called it the second time by a different appellation25.
They had finished dining long since, and had been drinking all sorts of wine, yet the host and his guests remained seated at table. Tchichikoff did not like the idea of beginning a conversation with Nosdrieff, on his all-important subject, in the presence of his brother-in-law, whom he considered a stranger, and the matter on which he intended to speak to Nosdrieff demanded a private, confidential26, and friendly interview.
However, the brother-in-law did not look like a dangerous man at the moment, because he seemed to have taken a copious27 libation, was moving to and fro in his chair, and continually twitching28 his nose with his left hand. He began to feel uneasy and as if he had a presentiment29 of an approaching hopeless condition; he at last begun to beg to be allowed to return home, but with such an idle and heavy voice, as if, to use a Russian phrase, "he was pulling a horse-collar upon the horse's neck with a pair of pincers."
"Oh, no, no, no! I shall not allow you to go!" said Nosdrieff.
"Pray do not offend me, my good friend, by detaining me, I really must leave you," his brother-in-law said, "you will very much offend me if you insist upon my staying any longer."
"Nonsense, folly30! we will presently have a small game."
"Not I, my dear fellow, you may do as you like; my wife will have all sorts of ideas, I shall have to tell her of the fair. I really must give her some pleasant surprise after my long absence. No, oblige me, and do not try to keep me here any longer."
"Send your wife to the d—l! what's the use of your going home in your present state?"
"No, brother! she is such an excellent and virtuous31 wife; she is full of favours for me—would you believe me, I feel the tears coming into my eyes. No, do pot keep me any longer, on my honour as a gentleman, I shall leave you, and I give you this assurance like an honest man."
"Let him depart, of what good could he be?" Tchichikoff whispered slowly to Nosdrieff.
"You are right, by Jove!" said Nosdrieff, "I cannot bear the sight of these nervous fools!" and he added aloud, "well, the d—l be with you; go and make love to your better-half, you slave to gyn?ocracy!"
"No, brother, you ought not to call me by any of those foreign names," his brother-in-law replied, "as for my wife, I owe her my existence. She is an amiable32 and loving woman and is full of such tenderness—she often moves me to tears; no, the more I think of her the more I wish to return to her; she is sure to ask me what I have seen and done at the fair, and I shall have to tell her all, for she is an angel of a woman!"
"Be off then, and tell her as much as you like! there is your cap."
"Nay33, brother Nosdrieff, you are wrong in wanting respect for your own sister; by committing a breach34 of politeness towards her, you offend me as well, and you know well what an amiable woman my wife is."
"Therefore, I cannot advise you better than to hasten into her arms as soon as you like, and sooner if possible!"
"Yes, brother, I must leave you, excuse me, but really I cannot stay any longer. My heart would be rejoiced if I could stay, but I must not tarry any longer."
Nosdrieff's brother-in-law continued yet for a considerable time to express his regrets and excuses, without noticing that he had been already seated for some time in his own carriage, that he had long since departed from Nosdrieff's house, and that nothing but open fields and the high road were before him. It might be easily imagined, that his wife heard but little of what he had seen and done at the fair.
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1
ornaments
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| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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2
daggers
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| 匕首，短剑( dagger的名词复数 ) | |
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3
celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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4
superseded
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| [医]被代替的，废弃的 | |
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5
obstinate
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| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
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6
flute
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| n.长笛；v.吹笛 | |
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7
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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8
plaintive
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| adj.可怜的，伤心的 | |
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9
mishap
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| n.不幸的事，不幸；灾祸 | |
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10
amber
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| n.琥珀；琥珀色；adj.琥珀制的 | |
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11
raffle
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| n.废物，垃圾，抽奖售卖；v.以抽彩出售 | |
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12
embroidered
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| adj．绣花的 | |
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13
appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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14
possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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15
considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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16
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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17
cuisine
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| n.烹调，烹饪法 | |
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18
boiler
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| n.锅炉；煮器(壶，锅等) | |
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19
provincial
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| adj.省的，地方的；n．外省人，乡下人 | |
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20
exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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21
fiery
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| adj.燃烧着的，火红的；暴躁的；激烈的 | |
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22
proprietors
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| n.所有人，业主( proprietor的名词复数 ) | |
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23
champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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24
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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25
appellation
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| n.名称，称呼 | |
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26
confidential
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| adj.秘（机）密的，表示信任的，担任机密工作的 | |
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27
copious
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| adj.丰富的，大量的 | |
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28
twitching
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| n.颤搐 | |
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29
presentiment
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| n.预感，预觉 | |
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30
folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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31
virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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32
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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33
nay
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| adv.不；n.反对票，投反对票者 | |
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34
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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