All my life I had envied the loungers in the parks—those silent, inert7 figures that lie under the trees all the long summer day, their shabby hats over their faces, their hands clasped above their heads, legs sprawled8 in uncouth9 comfort, while the sun dapples down between the leaves and, like a good fairy godmother, touches their frayed10 and wrinkled garments with flickering12 figures of golden splendor13, while they sleep. They always seemed so blissfully care-free and at ease—those sprawling14 men figures—and I, to whom such simple joys were forbidden, being a woman, had envied them.
Now I was reveling in that very joy, stretched prone15 upon the ground, blinking sleepily up at the sun and the cobalt sky, feeling my very hair grow, and health returning in warm, electric waves. I even dared to cross one leg over the other and to swing the pendant member with nonchalant air, first taking a cautious survey of the neighboring back windows to see if any one peeked16. Doubtless they did, behind those ruffled17 curtains, but I grew splendidly indifferent.
Even the crawling things—and there were myriads18 of them—added to the enjoyment19 of my ease. With my ear so close to the ground the grass seemed fairly to buzz with them. Everywhere there were crazily busy ants, and I, patently a sluggard20 and therefore one of those for whom the ancient warning was intended, considered them lazily. How they plunged21 about, weaving in and out, rushing here and there, helter-skelter, like bargain-hunting women darting22 wildly from counter to counter!
“O, foolish, foolish antics!” I chided them, “stop wearing yourselves out this way. Don't you know that the game isn't worth the candle, and that you'll give yourselves nervous jim-jams and then you'll have to go home to be patched up? Look at me! I'm a horrible example.”
But they only bustled23 on, heedless of my advice, and showed their contempt by crawling over me as I lay there like a lady Gulliver.
Oh, I played what they call a heavy thinking part. It was not only the ants that came in for lectures. I preached sternly to myself.
“Well, Dawn old girl, you've made a beautiful mess of it. A smashed-up wreck24 at twenty-eight! And what have you to show for it? Nothing! You're a useless pulp25, like a lemon that has been squeezed dry. Von Gerhard was right. There must be no more newspaper work for you, me girl. Not if you can keep away from the fascination26 of it, which I don't think you can.”
Then I would fall to thinking of those years of newspapering—of the thrills of them, and the ills of them. It had been exhilarating, and educating, but scarcely remunerative27. Mother had never approved. Dad had chuckled28 and said that it was a curse descended29 upon me from the terrible old Kitty O'Hara, the only old maid in the history of the O'Haras, and famed in her day for a caustic31 tongue and a venomed32 pen. Dad and Mother—what a pair of children they had been! The very dissimilarity of their natures had been a bond between them. Dad, light-hearted, whimsical, care-free, improvident33; Mother, gravely sweet, anxious-browed, trying to teach economy to the handsome Irish husband who, descendant of a long and royal line of spendthrift ancestors, would have none of it.
It was Dad who had insisted that they name me Dawn. Dawn O'Hara! His sense of humor must have been sleeping. “You were such a rosy35, pinky, soft baby thing,” Mother had once told me, “that you looked just like the first flush of light at sunrise. That is why your father insisted on calling you Dawn.”
Poor Dad! How could he know that at twenty-eight I would be a yellow wreck of a newspaper reporter—with a wrinkle between my eyes. If he could see me now he would say:
“Sure, you look like the dawn yet, me girl but a Pittsburgh dawn.”
At that, Mother, if she were here, would pat my check where the hollow place is, and murmur36: “Never mind, Dawnie dearie, Mother thinks you are beautiful just the same.” Of such blessed stuff are mothers made.
At this stage of the memory game I would bury my face in the warm grass and thank my God for having taken Mother before Peter Orme came into my life. And then I would fall asleep there on the soft, sweet grass, with my head snuggled in my arms, and the ants wriggling37, unchided, into my ears.
On the last of these sylvan38 occasions I awoke, not with a graceful39 start, like the story-book ladies, but with a grunt40. Sis was digging me in the ribs41 with her toe. I looked up to see her standing42 over me, a foaming44 tumbler of something in her hand. I felt that it was eggy and eyed it disgustedly.
“Get up,” said she, “you lazy scribbler, and drink this.”
I sat up, eyeing her severely45 and picking grass and ants out of my hair.
“D' you mean to tell me that you woke me out of that babe-like slumber46 to make me drink that goo? What is it, anyway? I'll bet it's another egg-nogg.”
“Egg-nogg it is; and swallow it right away, because there are guests to see you.”
I emerged from the first dip into the yellow mixture and fixed47 on her as stern and terrible a look at any one can whose mouth is encircled by a mustache of yellow foam43.
“Guests!” I roared, “not for me! Don't you dare to say that they came to see me!”
“Did too,” insists Norah, with firmness, “they came especially to see you. Asked for you, right from the jump.”
I finished the egg-nogg in four gulps48, returned the empty tumbler with an air of decision, and sank upon the grass.
“Tell 'em I rave34. Tell 'em that I'm unconscious, and that for weeks I have recognized no one, not even my dear sister. Say that in my present nerve-shattered condition I—”
“That wouldn't satisfy them,” Norah calmly interrupts, “they know you're crazy because they saw you out here from their second story back windows. That's why they came. So you may as well get up and face them. I promised them I'd bring you in. You can't go on forever refusing to see people, and you know the Whalens are—”
“Whalens!” I gasped49. “How many of them? Not—not the entire fiendish three?”
“All three. I left them champing with impatience50.”
The Whalens live just around the corner. The Whalens are omniscient51. They have a system of news gathering52 which would make the efforts of a New York daily appear antiquated53. They know that Jenny Laffin feeds the family on soup meat and oat-meal when Mr. Laffin is on the road; they know that Mrs. Pearson only shakes out her rugs once in four weeks; they can tell you the number of times a week that Sam Dempster comes home drunk; they know that the Merkles never have cream with their coffee because little Lizzie Merkle goes to the creamery every day with just one pail and three cents; they gloat over the knowledge that Professor Grimes, who is a married man, is sweet on Gertie Ashe, who teaches second reader in his school; they can tell you where Mrs. Black got her seal coat, and her husband only earning two thousand a year; they know who is going to run for mayor, and how long poor Angela Sims has to live, and what Guy Donnelly said to Min when he asked her to marry him.
The three Whalens—mother and daughters—hunt in a group. They send meaning glances to one another across the room, and at parties they get together and exchange bulletins in a corner. On passing the Whalen house one is uncomfortably aware of shadowy forms lurking54 in the windows, and of parlor55 curtains that are agitated56 for no apparent cause.
Therefore it was with a groan57 that I rose and prepared to follow Norah into the house. Something in my eye caused her to turn at the very door. “Don't you dare!” she hissed58; then, banishing59 the warning scowl60 from her face, and assuming a near-smile, she entered the room and I followed miserably61 at her heels.
The Whalens rose and came forward effusively62; Mrs. Whalen, plump, dark, voluble; Sally, lean, swarthy, vindictive63; Flossie, pudgy, powdered, over-dressed. They eyed me hungrily. I felt that they were searching my features for signs of incipient64 insanity65.
“Dear, DEAR girl!” bubbled the billowy Flossie, kissing the end of my nose and fastening her eye on my ringless left hand.
Sally contented66 herself with a limp and fishy67 handshake. She and I were sworn enemies in our school-girl days, and a baleful gleam still lurked68 in Sally's eye. Mrs. Whalen bestowed69 on me a motherly hug that enveloped70 me in an atmosphere of liquid face-wash, strong perfumery and fried lard. Mrs. Whalen is a famous cook. Said she:
“We've been thinking of calling ever since you were brought home, but dear me! you've been looking so poorly I just said to the girls, wait till the poor thing feels more like seeing her old friends. Tell me, how are you feeling now?”
The three sat forward in their chairs in attitudes of tense waiting.
I resolved that if err30 I must it should be on the side of safety. I turned to sister Norah.
“How am I feeling anyway, Norah?” I guardedly inquired.
Norah's face was a study. “Why Dawn dear,” she said, sugar-sweet, “no doubt you know better than I. But I'm sure that you are wonderfully improved—almost your old self, in fact. Don't you think she looks splendid, Mrs. Whalen?”
The three Whalens tore their gaze from my blank countenance71 to exchange a series of meaning looks.
“I suppose,” purred Mrs. Whalen, “that your awful trouble was the real cause of your—a-a-a-sickness, worrying about it and grieving as you must have.”
She pronounces it with a capital T, and I know she means Peter. I hate her for it.
“Trouble!” I chirped72. “Trouble never troubles me. I just worked too hard, that's all, and acquired an awful 'tired.' All work and no play makes Jill a nervous wreck, you know.”
At that the elephantine Flossie wagged a playful finger at me. “Oh, now, you can't make us believe that, just because we're from the country! We know all about you gay New Yorkers, with your Bohemian ways and your midnight studio suppers, and your cigarettes, and cocktails73 and high jinks!”
Memory painted a swift mental picture of Dawn O'Hara as she used to tumble into bed after a whirlwind day at the office, too dog-tired to give her hair even one half of the prescribed one hundred strokes of the brush. But in turn I shook a reproving forefinger74 at Flossie.
“You've been reading some naughty society novel! One of those millionaire-divorce-actress-automobile novels. Dear, dear! Shall I ever forget the first New York actress I ever met; or what she said!”
I felt, more than saw, a warning movement from Sis. But the three Whalens had hitched75 forward in their chairs.
“What did she say?” gurgled Flossie. “Was it something real reezk?”
“Well, it was at a late supper—a studio supper given in her honor,” I confessed.
“Yes-s-s-s,” hissed the Whalens.
“And this actress—she was one of those musical comedy actresses, you know; I remember her part called for a good deal of kicking about in a short Dutch costume—came in rather late, after the performance. She was wearing a regal-looking fur-edged evening wrap, and she still wore all her make-up”—out of the corner of my eye I saw Sis sink back with an air of resignation—“and she threw open the door and said—
“Yes-s-s-s!” hissed the Whalens again, wetting their lips.
“—said: 'Folks, I just had a wire from mother, up in Maine. The boy has the croup. I'm scared green. I hate to spoil the party, but don't ask me to stay. I want to go home to the flat and blubber. I didn't even stop to take my make-up off. My God! If anything should happen to the boy!—Well, have a good time without me. Jim's waiting outside.'” A silence.
Then—“Who was Jim?” asked Flossie, hopefully.
“Jim was her husband, of course. He was in the same company.”
Another silence.
“Is that all?” demanded Sally from the corner in which she had been glowering76.
“All! You unnatural77 girl! Isn't one husband enough?”
Mrs. Whalen smiled an uncertain, wavering smile. There passed among the three a series of cabalistic signs. They rose simultaneously78.
“How quaint79 you are!” exclaimed Mrs. Whalen, “and so amusing! Come girls, we mustn't tire Miss—ah—Mrs.—er—” with another meaning look at my bare left hand.
“My husband's name is still Orme,” I prompted, quite, quite pleasantly.
“Oh, certainly. I'm so forgetful. And one reads such queer things in the newspapers nowa-days. Divorces, and separations, and soul-mates and things.” There was a note of gentle insinuation in her voice.
Norah stepped firmly into the fray11. “Yes, doesn't one? What a comfort it must be to you to know that your dear girls are safe at home with you, and no doubt will be secure, for years to come, from the buffeting80 winds of matrimony.”
There was a tinge81 of purple in Mrs. Whalen's face as she moved toward the door, gathering her brood about her. “Now that dear Dawn is almost normal again I shall send my little girlies over real often. She must find it very dull here after her—ah—life in New York.”
“Not at all,” I said, hurriedly, “not at all. You see I'm—I'm writing a book. My entire day is occupied.”
“A book!” screeched82 the three. “How interesting! What is it? When will it be published?”
I avoided Norah's baleful eye as I answered their questions and performed the final adieux.
As the door closed, Norah and I faced each other, glaring.
“Hussies!” hissed Norah. Whereupon it struck us funny and we fell, a shrieking83 heap, into the nearest chair. Finally Sis dabbed84 at her eyes with her handkerchief, drew a long breath, and asked, with elaborate sarcasm85, why I hadn't made it a play instead of a book, while I was about it.
“But I mean it,” I declared. “I've had enough of loafing. Max must unpack86 my typewriter to-night. I'm homesick for a look at the keys. And to-morrow I'm to be installed in the cubbyhole off the dining-room and I defy any one to enter it on peril87 of their lives. If you value the lives of your offspring, warn them away from that door. Von Gerhard said that there was writing in my system, and by the Great Horn Spoon and the Beard of the Prophet, I'll have it out! Besides, I need the money. Norah dear, how does one set about writing a book? It seems like such a large order.”
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1
tempting
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| a.诱人的, 吸引人的 | |
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sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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genial
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| adj.亲切的，和蔼的，愉快的，脾气好的 | |
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watery
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| adj.有水的，水汪汪的；湿的，湿润的 | |
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veins
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| n.纹理；矿脉( vein的名词复数 )；静脉；叶脉；纹理 | |
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inert
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| adj.无活动能力的，惰性的；迟钝的 | |
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sprawled
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| v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的过去式和过去分词)；蔓延；杂乱无序地拓展；四肢伸展坐着（或躺着） | |
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uncouth
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| adj.无教养的，粗鲁的 | |
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frayed
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| adj.磨损的v.（使布、绳等）磨损，磨破( fray的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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fray
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| v.争吵；打斗；磨损，磨破；n.吵架；打斗 | |
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flickering
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| adj.闪烁的，摇曳的，一闪一闪的 | |
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splendor
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| n.光彩；壮丽，华丽；显赫，辉煌 | |
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sprawling
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| adj.蔓生的，不规则地伸展的v.伸开四肢坐[躺]( sprawl的现在分词 )；蔓延；杂乱无序地拓展；四肢伸展坐着（或躺着） | |
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prone
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| adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的 | |
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peeked
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| v.很快地看( peek的过去式和过去分词 )；偷看；窥视；微露出 | |
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ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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myriads
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| n.无数，极大数量( myriad的名词复数 ) | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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sluggard
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| n.懒人；adj.懒惰的 | |
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plunged
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| v.颠簸( plunge的过去式和过去分词 )；暴跌；骤降；突降 | |
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darting
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的现在分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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bustled
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| 闹哄哄地忙乱，奔忙( bustle的过去式和过去分词 )； 催促 | |
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wreck
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| n.失事，遇难；沉船；vt.(船等)失事，遇难 | |
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pulp
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| n.果肉，纸浆；v.化成纸浆，除去...果肉，制成纸浆 | |
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fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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remunerative
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| adj.有报酬的 | |
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chuckled
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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descended
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| a.为...后裔的，出身于...的 | |
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err
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| vi.犯错误，出差错 | |
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caustic
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| adj.刻薄的，腐蚀性的 | |
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venomed
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| adj.恶毒的，含有恶意的 | |
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improvident
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| adj.不顾将来的，不节俭的，无远见的 | |
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rave
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| vi.胡言乱语；热衷谈论；n.热情赞扬 | |
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rosy
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| adj.美好的，乐观的，玫瑰色的 | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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wriggling
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| v.扭动，蠕动，蜿蜒行进( wriggle的现在分词 )；（使身体某一部位）扭动；耍滑不做，逃避（应做的事等）；蠕蠕 | |
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sylvan
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| adj.森林的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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grunt
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| v.嘟哝；作呼噜声；n.呼噜声，嘟哝 | |
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ribs
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| n.肋骨( rib的名词复数 )；（船或屋顶等的）肋拱；肋骨状的东西；（织物的）凸条花纹 | |
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42
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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foam
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| v./n.泡沫，起泡沫 | |
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foaming
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| adj.布满泡沫的；发泡 | |
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severely
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| adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地 | |
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slumber
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| n.睡眠，沉睡状态 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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48
gulps
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| n.一大口（尤指液体）( gulp的名词复数 )v.狼吞虎咽地吃，吞咽( gulp的第三人称单数 )；大口地吸（气）；哽住 | |
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49
gasped
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| v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 )；喘息；倒抽气；很想要 | |
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50
impatience
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| n.不耐烦，急躁 | |
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omniscient
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| adj.无所不知的；博识的 | |
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gathering
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| n.集会，聚会，聚集 | |
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antiquated
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| adj.陈旧的，过时的 | |
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54
lurking
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| 潜在 | |
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parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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groan
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| vi./n.呻吟，抱怨；(发出)呻吟般的声音 | |
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58
hissed
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| 发嘶嘶声( hiss的过去式和过去分词 )； 发嘘声表示反对 | |
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banishing
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| v.放逐，驱逐( banish的现在分词 ) | |
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scowl
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| vi.(at)生气地皱眉，沉下脸，怒视；n.怒容 | |
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miserably
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| adv.痛苦地；悲惨地；糟糕地；极度地 | |
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effusively
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| adv.变溢地，热情洋溢地 | |
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vindictive
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| adj.有报仇心的，怀恨的，惩罚的 | |
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incipient
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| adj.起初的，发端的，初期的 | |
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insanity
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| n.疯狂，精神错乱；极端的愚蠢，荒唐 | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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fishy
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| adj. 值得怀疑的 | |
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lurked
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| vi.潜伏，埋伏（lurk的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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69
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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70
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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71
countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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72
chirped
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| 鸟叫，虫鸣( chirp的过去式 ) | |
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73
cocktails
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| n.鸡尾酒( cocktail的名词复数 )；餐前开胃菜；混合物 | |
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74
forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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75
hitched
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| （免费）搭乘他人之车( hitch的过去式和过去分词 )； 搭便车； 攀上； 跃上 | |
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76
glowering
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| v.怒视( glower的现在分词 ) | |
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77
unnatural
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| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
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78
simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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79
quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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80
buffeting
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| 振动 | |
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81
tinge
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| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
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82
screeched
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| v.发出尖叫声( screech的过去式和过去分词 )；发出粗而刺耳的声音；高叫 | |
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83
shrieking
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| v.尖叫( shriek的现在分词 ) | |
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84
dabbed
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| （用某物）轻触( dab的过去式和过去分词 )； 轻而快地擦掉（或抹掉）； 快速擦拭； （用某物）轻而快地涂上（或点上）… | |
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85
sarcasm
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| n.讥讽，讽刺，嘲弄，反话 （adj.sarcastic） | |
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86
unpack
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| vt.打开包裹（或行李），卸货 | |
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87
peril
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| n.(严重的)危险；危险的事物 | |
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