"Bertha and the children are going away to-morrow," he said. "And if you have no other engagement you are to come and dine with us this evening and say good-by."
"I have no other engagement," Tredennis answered. "I shall be glad to come. They are really going to Fortress1 Monroe to-morrow?"
Richard threw himself into a chair with a rather discontented air. "They are not going to Fortress Monroe at all," he said. "They are going to bury themselves in the mountains of Virginia. It is a queer fancy of Bertha's. I think she is making a mistake. She won't like it, really, when she tries it."
"If she needs rest," said Tredennis, "certainly the mountains of Virginia"—
"The mountains of Virginia," interrupted Richard, "were not made for Bertha. She will tire of them in a week. I wish she would not go!" he said, with the faintest possible touch of petulance2.
"You will miss her very much, of course," said Tredennis.
"Oh, yes, I shall miss her. I always miss her—and I shall miss her specially3 just now."
"Just now?" said Tredennis.
"Oh," said Richard, straightening himself somewhat and clearing his slightly knitted brow, "I was only thinking of two or three plans which had half-formed themselves in my mind. I was looking at it from a[Pg 138] selfish point of view, which I had no right to do. I suppose things might wait—until she comes back."
"Are you going with her?" said Tredennis.
"I!" exclaimed Richard. "No, I could not do that. My business would not allow of it. I have more than usual on hand just now. I shall run down to see them once a week, if possible. I must confess," with a laugh, "that I could not make up my mind to three months of it. Bertha knows that."
Taking all things into consideration, he bore the prospect4 of his approaching loneliness very well. He soon began to speak of other matters, and before he took his departure had quite recovered his usual gayety. As he talked Tredennis regarded him with some curiosity.
"He has a fortunate temperament," he was thinking. "He would have been happy if she had remained, but he is not unhappy because she goes. There are men who would take it less lightly—though, after all, he is the one to be envied."
Tredennis did not feel that he himself was greatly to be envied. He had said that she ought to go, and had been anxious and unhappy because she had not gone; but now that she was going he was scarcely happier. There were things he should miss every day. As he remembered them, he knew he had not allowed himself to admit what their value had been to him. The very fact that they had not been better friends made it harder. From the first he had been aware that a barrier stood between them, and in the interview which had revealed to him something of its nature he had received some sharp wounds.
"There was truth in what she said," he had often pondered since, "though she put it in a woman's way. I have resented what she has said and done, often enough, and have contrasted it bitterly with what I remembered—God knows why! I had no right to do it, and it was all folly5; but I did it, and made myself[Pg 139] wretched through it—and she saw the folly, and not the wretchedness."
But now that her presence would no longer color and animate6 the familiar rooms he realized what their emptiness would be. He could not endure the thought of what it would be to go into them for the first time and sit alone with Richard,—no bright figure moving before them, or sitting in its chair by the table, or the window, or the hearth7. The absence of the very things which had angered and disturbed him would leave a blank. It would actually be a wretchedness to see no longer that she often chose to be flippant, and mocked for mere8 mocking's sake.
"What!" he said, savagely9, "am I beginning to care for her very faults? Then it is best that she should go."
But his savageness10 was not against Bertha, but against himself and his weakness.
When he arrived at the house in the evening he found Bertha in the parlor11, with Jack12 and Janey, who were to be allowed to share the farewell dinner.
As she advanced to meet him with a child on either side, he was struck by certain changes which he observed in her dress and manner. She wore a dark, simple gown, her hair was dressed a trifle more closely and plainly than usual, and there was no color about her. When she gave him her hand, and stood with the other resting on Jack's shoulder, her eyes uplifted to his own, he was bewildered by a feeling that he was suddenly brought face to face with a creature quite strange to him. He could not have said that she was actually cold and reserved, but there was that in the quiet of her manner which suggested both reserve and coldness.
"I have allowed the children to stay downstairs," she said, "and they are to dine with us if they will be good. They wished very much to see as much of you as possible—as it will be some time before they return—and I think they will be quiet."
[Pg 140]
"If you will seat one on each side of me," said Tredennis, "I will keep them quiet."
"You are very kind," she answered, "but I should scarcely like to do that."
And then she returned to her seat by the window, and he sat opposite her on the end of a sofa, with Janey leaning against his knee.
"You are not going to Fortress Monroe?" he said.
"No," she replied; "I am going to the Virginia mountains."
"I should think that would be better," he said, putting an arm around Janey.
"I thought so," she answered, "upon reflection. I am not as strong as I should be, and I think I dislike ill-health even more than most people do."
She held Jack's hand, and spoke13 in a quiet tone of common things,—of her plans for the summer, of the children, of Richard; and Tredennis listened like a man in a dream, missing the color and vivacity14 from her manner as he had known he should miss her presence from the rooms when she was gone.
"Tell Uncle Philip something of what we are going to do," she said to Jack. "Tell him about the hammocks, and the spades we are to dig with, and the books. We are to live out of doors and enjoy ourselves immensely," she added, with a faint smile.
"Mamma is going to play with us every day," said Jack, triumphantly15. "And we are going to lie in our hammocks while she reads to us and tells us stories."
"And there will be no parties and no company," added Janey. "Only we are to be the company."
"And Jack is to take care of me," said Bertha, "because I am growing old, and he is so big."
Jack regarded her dubiously16.
"You haven't any wrinkles," he said.
"Yes, I have, Jack," she answered; "but they don't show." And a little laugh broke from her, and she let[Pg 141] her cheek rest against his dark love-locks for a moment in a light caress17.
Glancing up at the colonel's face at this juncture18, Janey found cause in it for serious dissatisfaction. She raised her hand, and drew a small forefinger19 across his forehead.
"Uncle Philip," she said, "you are bad again. The black marks have come back, and you are quite ugly; and you promised you would try not to let them come any more."
"I beg your pardon, Janey," he answered, and then turned to Bertha. "She does not like my black face," he said, "and no wonder. I am rather an unfortunate fellow to have my faults branded upon me so plainly that even a child can see them."
There was a touch of bitterness in the words, and in his manner of uttering them. Bertha answered him in a soft, level voice.
"You are severe upon yourself," she said. "It is much safer to be severe upon other people."
It was rather cruel, but she did not object to being cruel. There come to most women moments when to be cruel is their only refuge against themselves and others; and such a moment had come to her.
In looking back upon the evening, when it was over, the feeling that it had been unreal was stronger in Tredennis's mind than any other. It was all unreal from beginning to end,—the half-hour before dinner, when Arbuthnot and Richard and the professor came in, and Bertha stood near her father's chair and talked to him, and Tredennis, holding Janey on his knee and trying to answer her remarks lucidly20, was aware only of the presence of the dark, slender figure near him, and the strange quiet of the low voice; the dinner itself, during which Richard was in the most attractive mood, and the professor was rather silent, and Arbuthnot's vivacity was a little fitful at first and afterward21 seemed to recover itself and rise to the occasion;[Pg 142] while Bertha, with Jack on one hand and Janey on the other, cared for their wants and answered Richard's sallies, and aided him in them, and yet was not herself at all, but a new being.
"And you think," said the professor, later in the evening, when they had returned to the parlors,—"you think that you will like the quiet of the mountains?"
"I think it will be good for me," she answered, "and the children will like it."
"She will not like it at all," said Richard. "She will abhor22 it in ten days, and she will rush off to Fortress Monroe, and dance every night to make up for her temporary mental aberration23."
"No, she will not," said Arbuthnot. "She has made preparations to enjoy her seclusion24 in its dramatic aspects. She is going to retire from the world in the character of a graceful25 anchorite, and she has already begun to dress the part. She is going to be simple and serious, and a trifle severe; and it even now expresses itself in the lines and color of her gown."
She turned toward him, with the sudden gleam of some new expression in her eyes.
"How well you understand me!" she said. "No one else would have understood me so well. I never can deceive you, at least. Yes, you are quite right. I am going to enjoy the thing dramatically. I don't want to go, but as I feel it discreet26 I intend to amuse myself, and make the best of it. I am going to play at being maternal27 and amiable28, and even domesticated29. I have a costume for it, as I have one for bathing and dining and making calls. This," she said, touching30 her dress, "is part of it. Upstairs I have a little mob-cap and an apron31, and a work-basket to carry on my arm. They are not unbecoming, either. Shall I run up into the nursery and put them on, and show them to you? Then you can be sure that I comprehend the part."
"Have you a mob-cap and an apron?" asked Richard. "Have you, really?"
[Pg 143]
"Yes, really," she answered. "Don't you remember that I told you that it was my dresses that were of consequence, and not myself? Shall I go and put them on?"
Her tone was soft no longer; it was a little hard, and so was the look which half hid itself behind the brightness of the eyes she turned toward him.
"Yes," he answered. "Put them on, and let us see them."
She turned round and went out of the room, and Arbuthnot followed her with a rather anxious glance. The professor stirred his tea as usual, and Tredennis turned his attention to Janey, while Richard laughed.
"I have no doubt she has all three," he said. "And they will be well worth seeing."
They were worth seeing. In a few minutes she returned,—the little work-basket on her arm, the mob-cap upon her head, the apron around her waist, and a plain square of white muslin crossed upon her bosom32. She stopped in the door-way, and made a courtesy.
"There ought to be a curtain, and somebody ought to ring it up," she said. "Enter the domestic virtues33."
And she came and stood before them, her eyes shining still, and her head erect34, but—perhaps through the rather severe black and white of her costume—seeming to have a shade less color than before.
"I did not make them for this occasion," she said. "They have appeared before. You don't remember them, Richard, but I had them when Jack was a baby—and a novelty. I tried being maternal then."
"Why, yes," said Richard, "to be sure I remember them,—and very becoming they were, too."
"Oh, yes," she answered. "I knew they were becoming!"
She turned and fronted Tredennis.
"I hope they are becoming now," she said, and made her little courtesy again.
"They are very becoming," he answered, looking at[Pg 144] her steadily35. "I like them better than—the silks and brocades."
"Thank you," she said. "I thought you would—or I would not have put them on. Jack and Janey, come and stand on each side of me while I sit down. I have always congratulated myself that you were becoming. This is what we shall be constrained36 to do when we are in Virginia, only we shall not have the incentive37 of being looked at."
"We will make up a party," said Richard, "and come down once a week to look at you. Planefield would enjoy it, I am sure."
"Thank you," said Bertha. "And I will always bring out the work-basket, with a lace-collar for Meg in it. Lace-collars are more becoming than small aprons38 or stocking-mending. Do you remember the little shirt Mrs. Rawdon Crawley was making for her boy, and which was always produced when she was in virtuous39 company? Poor Rawdon was quite a big boy, and very much too large for it, by the time it was finished. I wonder if Meg will be grown up before she gets her collar."
She produced a needle, threaded it, and took a few stitches, bending her head over her task with a serious air.
"Does it look as if I had done it before?" she said. "I hope it does. I really have, you know. Once I sewed on a button for Richard."
But she did not sew many minutes. Soon she laid her work down in the basket.
"There!" she said, "that is enough! I have made my impression, and that is all I care for—or I should have made my impression if you had been strangers. If you had not known me you would have had time to say to one another: 'What a simple, affectionate little creature she must be! After all, there is nothing which becomes a woman so well as to sit at her work in that quiet, natural way, with her children about[Pg 145] her!' Come, Jack and Janey, it is time for you to say good-night, and let me make a pretty exit with you, in my mob-cap and apron."
She took them away, and remained upstairs with them until they were in bed. When she came back she did not bring the work-basket, but she had not taken off the cap and handkerchief. She held an open letter in her hand, and went to Richard and sat down by him. Her manner had changed again entirely40. It was as if she had left upstairs something more than the work-basket.
"Richard," she said, "I did not tell you I had had a letter from Agnes Sylvestre."
"From Agnes Sylvestre!" he exclaimed. "Why, no, you didn't! But it is good news. Laurence, you must remember Agnes Sylvestre!"
"Perfectly," was the answer. "She was not the kind of person you forget."
"She was a beautiful creature," said Richard, "and I always regretted that we lost sight of her as we did after her marriage. Where is she now, Bertha?"
"When she wrote she was at Castellamare. She went abroad, you know, immediately after her husband's death."
"He was not the nicest fellow in the world,—that Sylvestre," said Richard. "He was not the man for a woman like that to marry. I wonder if she did not find out that she had made a mistake?"
"If she did," said Bertha, "she bore it very well, and it has been all over for more than two years."
She turned suddenly to Tredennis.
"Did not you once tell me"—she began.
"Yes," he replied. "I met her in Chicago, and Mr. Sylvestre was with her."
"It must have been two or three weeks before his death," said Bertha. "He died quite suddenly, and they were in Chicago at the time. Do you remember how she looked, and if you liked her?—but of course you liked her."
[Pg 146]
"I saw her only for a short time," he answered. "We talked principally of you. She was very handsome, and had a sweet voice and large, calm eyes."
Bertha was silent a moment.
"Yes," she said next, "she has beautiful eyes. They are large and clear, like a child's, but they are not childish eyes. She sees a great deal with them. I think there was never anything more effective than a way she has of looking at you quietly and directly for a few seconds, without saying anything at all."
"You wonder what she is thinking of," said Arbuthnot. "And you hope she is thinking of yourself, and are inclined to believe she is, when there are ten chances to one that she is not at all."
"But she generally is," said Bertha. "The trouble is that perhaps she is not thinking exactly what you would like best, though she will never tell you so, and you would not discover it from her manner. She had an adorable manner; it is soft and well-bred, but she never wastes herself."
"I remember," said Tredennis, "that I thought her very attractive."
Bertha turned more directly toward him.
"She is exactly what you would like," she said,—"exactly. When I said just now that her way of looking at people was effective, I used the worst possible word, and did her an injustice41. She is never effective—in that way. To be effective, it seems to me, you must apply yourself. Agnes Sylvestre never applies herself. Trifles do not amuse her as they amuse me. I entertain myself with my whims42 and with all sorts of people; she has no whims, and cares only for the people she is fond of. If she were here to-night she would look calmly at my mob-cap and apron, and wonder what I meant by them, and what mental process I had gone through to reach the point of finding it worth while to wear them."
[Pg 147]
"Oh," said Arbuthnot, "I should not think she was slow at following mental processes."
"No," answered Bertha, "I did not mean that. She would reason clearly enough, after she had looked at me a few moments and asked herself the question. But in talking of her I am forgetting to tell you that she is coming home, and will spend next winter in Washington."
"Congratulate yourself, Laurence," said Richard. "We may all congratulate ourselves. It will be something more to live for."
"As to congratulating myself," said Arbuthnot, "I should have no objection to devoting the remainder of the evening to it, but I am afraid"—
"Of what?" demanded Bertha.
"Oh," he answered, "she will see through me with her calm eyes; and, as you say, she never wastes herself."
"No," said Bertha, "she never wastes herself. And, after all, it is Colonel Tredennis who has most reason to congratulate himself. He has not thrown away his time. I am obliged to admit that she once said to me of you, 'Why does he throw away his time? Does he never think at all?' Yes, it is Colonel Tredennis who must be congratulated."
It was chiefly of Agnes Sylvestre they talked during the rest of the evening.
"She is a person who says very little of herself," was Bertha's comment, "but there is a great deal to say of her."
And so there seemed to be. There were anecdotes43 to be related of her, the charm of her beauty and manner was to be analyzed44, and all of her attributes were found worth touching upon.
It was Tredennis who took his departure first. When he rose to go, Bertha, who was talking to Arbuthnot, did not at first observe his movement, and when he approached her she turned with an involuntary start.
[Pg 148]
"You—are going now?" she said.
"Yes," he answered. "I wish you a pleasant summer and all the rest you require."
She stood up and gave him her hand.
"Thank you," she replied. "I shall be sure to have the rest."
It scarcely seemed more than the ordinary conventional parting for the night; to Tredennis it seemed something less. There were only a few words more, and he dropped her hand and went out of the room.
He had certainly felt that this was the last, and only a powerful effort of will held in check a feeling whose strength he would have been loath45 to acknowledge.
"Such things are always a wrench," he said, mentally. "I never bore them well."
And he had barely said it when he heard Bertha cross the parlor quickly and pass through the door. He had bent46 to take up a paper he had left on the hat-stand, and when he turned she was close to him.
Something in her look was so unusual that he recognized it with an inward start. Her eyes were a little dilated47, and her breath came with soft quickness, as if she had moved rapidly and impulsively48. She put out both her hands with a simple, sudden gesture, and with an action as simple and unpremeditated he took them and held them in his own.
"I came," she said, "to say good-by again. All at once I seemed to—to realize that it would be months before I—we saw you again. And so many things happen, and—" She stopped a second, but went on after it. "When I come back," she said, "I shall be well and strong, and like a new person. Say good-by to this person;" and a smile came and went as she said it.
"A moment ago," he answered, "I was telling myself that good-byes were hard upon me."
"They—they are not easy," she said.
This, at least, was not easy for him. Her hands were[Pg 149] trembling in his clasp. The thought came to him that perhaps some agitation49 she wished to hide had driven her from the room within, and she had come to him for momentary50 refuge because he was near. She looked up at him for a second with a touch of desperation in her eyes, and then he saw her get over it, and she spoke.
"Jack and Janey will miss you very much," she said. "You have been very kind to them. I think—it is your way to be good to every one."
"My opportunities of being good have been limited," he said. "If—if one should present itself,"—and he held her hands a little closer,—"you won't let me miss my chance, will you? There is no reason for my saying so much, of course, but—but you will try to remember that I am here and always ready to come when I am called."
"Yes," she said, "I think you would come if I called you. And I thank you very much. And good-by—good-by."
And she drew her hands away and stood with them hanging clasped before her, as if she meant to steady them, and so she stood until he was gone.
He was breathing quickly himself when he reached the street.
"Yes," he said, "the professor was right. It is Arbuthnot—it is Arbuthnot."
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1
fortress
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| n.堡垒，防御工事 | |
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petulance
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| n.发脾气，生气，易怒，暴躁，性急 | |
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specially
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| adv.特定地；特殊地；明确地 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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animate
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| v.赋于生命，鼓励；adj.有生命的，有生气的 | |
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hearth
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| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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savagely
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| adv. 野蛮地，残酷地 | |
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savageness
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| 天然，野蛮 | |
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parlor
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| n.店铺，营业室；会客室，客厅 | |
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jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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vivacity
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| n.快活，活泼，精神充沛 | |
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triumphantly
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| ad.得意洋洋地；得胜地；成功地 | |
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dubiously
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| adv.可疑地，怀疑地 | |
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caress
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| vt./n.爱抚，抚摸 | |
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juncture
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| n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头 | |
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forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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lucidly
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| adv.清透地，透明地 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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abhor
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| v.憎恶；痛恨 | |
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aberration
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| n.离开正路，脱离常规，色差 | |
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seclusion
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| n.隐遁，隔离 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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discreet
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| adj.(言行)谨慎的；慎重的；有判断力的 | |
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maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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domesticated
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| adj.喜欢家庭生活的；（指动物）被驯养了的v.驯化( domesticate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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apron
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| n.围裙；工作裙 | |
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bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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steadily
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| adv.稳定地；不变地；持续地 | |
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constrained
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| adj.束缚的,节制的 | |
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incentive
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| n.刺激；动力；鼓励；诱因；动机 | |
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aprons
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| 围裙( apron的名词复数 )； 停机坪，台口（舞台幕前的部份） | |
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virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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WHIMS
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| 虚妄，禅病 | |
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43
anecdotes
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| n.掌故，趣闻，轶事( anecdote的名词复数 ) | |
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analyzed
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| v.分析( analyze的过去式和过去分词 )；分解；解释；对…进行心理分析 | |
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loath
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| adj.不愿意的；勉强的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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dilated
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| adj.加宽的，扩大的v.（使某物）扩大，膨胀，张大( dilate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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