"It is imagination," he said. "And the feeling will die away all the more quickly because I recognize the unreality of it. By to-morrow or the day after I shall have got over it."
And yet a week later, when he dropped in upon the professor, one sultry evening, to spend an hour with him, his old friend found cause for anxious inspection3 of him.
"What," he said, "the hot weather begins to tell on you already! You are not acclimatized yet,—that's it. You must spare yourself as much as possible. It doesn't promise well that you look fagged so soon. I should say you had not slept well."
"I don't sleep well," Tredennis answered.
"You are working too hard," said the professor; "that is it, perhaps."
"I am not working hard enough," replied Tredennis, with a slight knitting of the brows. "I wish I had more to do. Leisure does not agree with me."
"One must occupy one's self!" said the professor. He spoke4 half-absently, and yet with a touch of significance in his tone which—combined with the fact that he had heard the words before—caused Tredennis to glance at him quickly.
He smiled slightly, in answer to the glance.
"Bertha?" he said. "Oh, yes, I am quoting Bertha.[Pg 151] Your manner is not as light as hers, but it reminded me of her in some way; perhaps because I had a letter from her to-day, and she was in my thoughts."
"I hope she is well," said Tredennis, "and does not find her farm-house too dull."
"She does not complain of it," the professor answered. "And she says nothing of her own health, but tells me she is a little anxious about Janey, who does not seem quite herself."
Tredennis looked out into the darkening street. They were sitting by the opened window.
"She was not well when she went away," he said, a trifle abstractedly.
"Janey?" asked the professor, as if the idea was new to him; "I did not know that."
Tredennis roused himself.
"I—was thinking of Bertha," he said.
"Oh, of Bertha," said the professor, and then he lapsed5 into a reverie himself for a few moments; and seemed to watch the trees on the street without seeing them.
"No, she was not well," he said, at length; "but I think she will be better when she comes back."
"The rest and quiet"—began Tredennis.
"I think she had determined6 to be better," said the professor.
"Determined?" repeated Tredennis.
"She has a strong will," returned the professor, "though it is a thing she is never suspected of. She does not suspect herself of it, and yet she has relied upon its strength from the first, and is relying upon it now. I am convinced that she went away with the determination to conquer a restlessness whose significance she is just awakening7 to. And she deliberately8 chose nature and the society of her children as the best means of cure."
"Do you think," asked Tredennis, in a low voice, "that she will get over it?"
[Pg 152]
The professor turned to look at him.
"I don't know," he answered, with a slight tone of surprise. "Why did you fancy I would?"
"You seem to understand her," said Tredennis.
The professor sighed.
"I have studied her so long," he replied, "that I imagine I know what she is doing, but you can't safely go beyond that with women; you can't say what they are going to do,—with any degree of certainty. They are absorbingly interesting as a study, but they are not to be relied on. And they rarely compliment your intelligence by doing what you expect of them. She has not done what I expected. She has lived longer than I thought she would without finding herself out. A year ago she believed that she had proved to herself that such an emotion as—as this was impossible to her. It was a very innocent belief, and she was entirely9 sincere in it, and congratulated herself upon it." He turned to Tredennis again with a sudden movement and a curious look of pain in his face. "I am afraid it's a great mistake," he said.
"What?" Tredennis asked.
"This—this feeling," he said, in a tremulous and troubled voice. "I don't mean in her alone, but in any one, everywhere. I am not sure that it ever brings happiness really in the end. I am afraid there always is an end. If there wasn't, it might be different; but I am afraid there is. There are those of us who try to believe there is none, but—but I am afraid those are happiest who lose all but their ideal. There are many who lose even that, and Fate has done her worst by them." He checked himself, and sank back in his chair.
"Ah!" he said, smiling half sadly. "I am an old man—an old man,—and it is an old man's fancy, that the best thing in life is death. And Fate did not do her worst by me; she left me my ideal. She had gray eyes," he added, "and a bright face, like Bertha's. [Pg 153]Perhaps, after all, if I had won what I wanted, I should not feel so old to-night, and so tired. Her face was very bright."
He had not been wholly well for some days, and to-night seemed fatigued10 by the heat and languor11 in the air, but he was somewhat more hopeful when he spoke of Bertha than he had been.
"I have confidence in the strength of her will," he said, "and I like her pride and courage. She does not give away to her emotions; she resents them fiercely, and refuses to acknowledge their powers over her. She insists to herself that her restlessness is nervousness, and her sadness morbid12."
"She said as much to me," said Tredennis.
"Did she?" exclaimed the professor. "That is a good sign; it shows that she has confidence in you, and that it is a feeling strong enough to induce her to use you as a defence against her own weakness. She would never have spoken if she had not believed that you were a sort of stronghold. It is the old feeling of her girlhood ruling her again. Thank Heaven for that!"
There was a ring at the front-door bell as he spoke, and a moment or so later it was answered by a servant; buoyant feet were heard in the hall, and paused a second on the threshold.
"Are you here, Professor?" some one inquired. "And may I come in?"
Professor Herrick turned his head.
"Come in, Richard," he said; "come in, by all means." And Amory entered and advanced toward them.
The slight depression of manner Tredennis had fancied he had seen in him on the last two occasions of their meeting had disappeared altogether. He seemed even in gayer spirits than usual.
"I have come to tell you," he said to the professor, "that I am going away for a short time. It is a matter of business connected with the Westoria lands. I may be away a week or two."
[Pg 154]
"Isn't it rather a long journey?" asked the professor.
"Oh, yes," he replied, with no air of being daunted13 by the prospect,—"and a tiresome14 one, but it is important that I should make it, and I shall not be alone."
"Who is to be your companion?"
"Planefield—and he's rather an entertaining fellow, in his way—Planefield. Oh, it won't be so bad, on the whole."
"It is Planefield who is interested in the lands, if I remember rightly," suggested the professor.
"Oh, Planefield?" Richard replied, carelessly. "Well, more or less. He is given to interesting himself in things, and, by Jove!" he added with a laugh, "this promises to be a good thing to be interested in. I shouldn't mind if I"—
"My dear Richard," interposed the professor, "allow me to advise you not to do so. You'll really find it best. Such things rarely end well."
Richard laughed again.
"My dear Professor," he answered, with much good-humor, "you may rely upon me. I haven't any money of my own."
"And if you had money?" said the professor.
"I think I should risk it. I really do. Though why I should say risk, I hardly know. There is scarcely enough risk to make it exciting."
He was very sanguine15, and once or twice became quite brilliant on the subject. The great railroad, which was to give the lands an enormous value, was almost an established fact; everything was being laid in train: a man influenced here, a touch given there, a vigorous move made in this direction, an interest awakened16 in that, and the thing was done.
"There isn't a doubt of the termination," he said, "not a doubt. It's a brilliant sort of thing that is its own impetus17, one might say, and the right men are at work for it, and the right wom—"
[Pg 155]
"Were you going to say women?" asked Tredennis, when he pulled himself up somewhat abruptly18.
"Well, yes," Richard said, blithely19. "After all, why not? I must confess to finding the fact lend color and vivacity20 to the thing. And the delightful21 cleverness the clever ones show is a marvellous power for or against a thing, though I think the feminine tendency is to work for a thing, not against it."
"I should like to know," said Tredennis, "how they begin it."
For a moment he thought he did not know why he asked the question; but the self-delusion did not last long. He felt an instant later that he did know, and wished that he did not.
"In nine cases out of ten," Richard replied, giving himself up at once to an enjoyable analysis of the subject,—"in nine cases out of ten it is my impression they begin with almost entire lack of serious intention, and rarely, if ever, even in the end, admit to themselves that they have done what they are accused of. Given a clever and pretty woman whose husband or other male relative needs her assistance: why should she be less clever and pretty in the society of one political dignitary than in that of another, whose admiration22 of her charms may not be of such importance? I suppose that is the beginning, and then come the sense of power and the fascination23 of excitement. What woman does not like both? What woman is better and more charming than Bertha, and Bertha does not hesitate to admit, in her own delightful way, that there must have been a fascination in the lives of those historical charmers before whom prime ministers trembled, and who could make and unmake a cabinet with a smile."
"What," was the thought that leaped into Tredennis' mind, "do we begin to compare Bertha with a king's favorite!" But he did not say it aloud—it was not for him to defend her against her husband's lightness; and were they not her own words, after all? And so he[Pg 156] could only sit silent in the shadow of his darkening corner and knit his heavy brows with hot resentment24 in his heart, while Richard went on:
"There are some few who make a profession of it," he said; "but they do not carry the most power. The woman who is ambitious for her husband, or eager for her son, or who wishes to escape from herself and find refuge in some absorbing excitement, necessarily is more powerful than the more sordid25 element. If I were going in for that kind of thing," he went on, settling himself in his favorite graceful26, lounging posture27, and throwing his arm lightly behind his head,—"if I were going in for it, and might make a deliberate choice, I think I should choose a woman who had something to forget,—a woman who had reached an emotional crisis—who was young, and yet who could not take refuge in girlish forgetfulness, and who, in spite of her youth, had lived beyond trusting in the future—a woman who represented beauty, and wit, and despair (the despair would be the strongest lever of all). There isn't a doubt of it that such a woman, taken at such a turning-point in her existence, could move—the world, if you like—the world itself;" and he arranged himself a trifle more comfortably, and half-laughed again.
"But," suggested the professor, "you are not going in for that sort of thing, my dear Richard."
"Oh, no, no!" answered Richard; "but if I were, I must confess it would have a fascination for me which would not permit of my regarding it in cold blood. I am like Bertha, you know—I like my little drama."
"And, speaking of Bertha," said the professor, "if anything should happen while you are away"—
"Now, really," said Richard, "that shows what a careless fellow I am! Do you know, it never once occurred to me that anything could happen. We have such an admirable record to look back upon, Bertha and I, though I think I usually refer the fact to Bertha's tact28 and executive ability; nothing ever has happened, and[Pg 157] I feel that we have established a precedent29. But, if anything should happen, you had better telegraph to Merritsville. In any ordinary event, however, I feel quite safe in leaving Bertha in your hands and Tredennis's," he said, smiling at the large shadow in the corner. "One is always sure, in the midst of the ruling frivolity30, that Tredennis is to be relied on."
He went away soon after, and Tredennis, bidding the professor good-night, left the house with him.
As they passed down the steps Richard put his arm through his companion's with caressing31 friendliness32.
"It wouldn't do you any harm to take a run up into Virginia yourself, once in a while," he said. "You have been losing ground since the heat set in, and we can't submit to that. We need your muscular development in its highest form, as an example to our modern deterioration33. Kill two birds with one stone when you have a day's leisure,—go and see Bertha and the children, and lay in a new supply of that delightful robustness34 we envy and admire."
"I should be glad to see Bertha," said Tredennis.
"She would be glad to see you," Richard answered. "And, while I am away, it will be a relief to me to feel that she has you to call upon in case of need. The professor—dear old fellow—is not as strong as he was. And you—as I said before—one naturally takes the liberty of relying upon your silent substantiality."
"Thank you," said Tredennis. "If it is a matter of avoirdupois"——
Richard turned quickly to look at him.
"Ah, no," he said, "not that; though, being human, we respect the avoirdupois. It's something else, you know. Upon my word, I can't exactly say what, but something which makes a man feel instinctively35 that he can shift his responsibilities upon you and they will be in good hands. Perhaps it is not an enviable quality in one's self, after all. Here am I, you see, shifting Bertha and the children off on your shoulders.
"If I can be of any use to Bertha and the children why not?" said Tredennis, tersely36.
"Oh, but one might also say 'Why?'" returned Richard. "We haven't any claim on you, really, and yet we do it, or, rather, I do it, which speaks all the more strongly for your generosity37 and trustworthiness."
"And you will be away"—Tredennis began.
"Two or three weeks. It might be more, but I think not. We separate here, I think, as I am going to drop in on Planefield. Good-night, and thanks."
"Good-night," responded Tredennis, and they shook hands and parted.
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收听单词发音
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1
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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2
desolateness
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| 孤独 | |
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3
inspection
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| n.检查，审查，检阅 | |
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4
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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5
lapsed
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| adj.流失的，堕落的v.退步( lapse的过去式和过去分词 )；陷入；倒退；丧失 | |
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6
determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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7
awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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8
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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9
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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10
fatigued
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| adj. 疲乏的 | |
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languor
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| n.无精力，倦怠 | |
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12
morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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13
daunted
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| 使（某人）气馁，威吓( daunt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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14
tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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15
sanguine
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| adj.充满希望的，乐观的，血红色的 | |
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16
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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17
impetus
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| n.推动，促进，刺激；推动力 | |
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18
abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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19
blithely
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| adv.欢乐地，快活地，无挂虑地 | |
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20
vivacity
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| n.快活，活泼，精神充沛 | |
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21
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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22
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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23
fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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24
resentment
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| n.怨愤，忿恨 | |
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25
sordid
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| adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的 | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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27
posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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28
tact
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| n.机敏，圆滑，得体 | |
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29
precedent
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| n.先例，前例；惯例；adj.在前的，在先的 | |
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30
frivolity
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| n.轻松的乐事，兴高采烈；轻浮的举止 | |
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31
caressing
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| 爱抚的，表现爱情的，亲切的 | |
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32
friendliness
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| n.友谊，亲切，亲密 | |
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33
deterioration
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| n.退化；恶化；变坏 | |
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34
robustness
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| 坚固性，健壮性；鲁棒性 | |
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35
instinctively
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| adv.本能地 | |
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36
tersely
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| adv. 简捷地, 简要地 | |
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37
generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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