"She slept nearly all night," she said to Tredennis, when he joined her, "and so did I. I am sure she is better." Then she put out her hand for him to take. "It is all because you are here," she said. "When I wakened for a moment, once or twice, and heard your footsteps, it seemed to give me courage and make everything quieter. Are you very tired?"
"No," he answered, "I am not tired at all."
"I am afraid you would not tell me if you were," she said. "You must come with me now and let me give you some breakfast."
She led him into a room at the side of the hall. When the house had been a "mansion2" it had been considered a very imposing3 apartment, and, with the assistance of a few Washingtonian luxuries, which she had dexterously4 grafted5 upon its bareness, it was by no means unpicturesque even now.
"I think I should know that you had lived here," he said, as he glanced around.
"Have I made it so personal?" she replied. "I did not mean to do that. It was so bare at first, and, as I had nothing to do, it amused me to arrange it. Richard sent me the rugs, and odds6 and ends, and I found the spindle-legged furniture in the neighborhood. I am afraid it won't be safe for you to sit down too suddenly in the chairs, or to lean heavily on the table. I think you had better choose that leathern arm-chair and abide7 by it. It is quite substantial."
He took the seat, and gave himself up to the pleasure[Pg 187] of watching her as she moved to and fro between the table and an antique sideboard, from whose recesses8 she produced some pretty cups and saucers.
"What are you going to do?" he asked.
"I am going to set the table for your breakfast," she said, "because Maria is busy with the children, and the other nurse is with Janey, and the woman of the house is making your coffee and rolls."
"You are going to set the table!" he exclaimed.
"It doesn't require preternatural intelligence," she answered. "It is rather a simple thing, on the whole."
It seemed a very simple thing as she did it, and a very pretty thing. As he leaned against the leathern back of his chair, beginning vaguely9 to realize by a dawning sense of weariness that he had been up all night, he felt that he had not awakened10 from his dream yet, or that the visions of the past months were too far away and too unreal to move him.
The early morning sunlight made its way through the vines embowering the window, and cast lace-like shadows of their swaying leaves upon the floor, and upon Bertha's dress when she passed near. The softness of the light mellowed11 everything, and intensified12 the touches of color in the fans and ornaments13 on the walls and mantel, and in the bits of drapery thrown here and there as if by accident; and in the midst of this color and mellowed light Bertha moved before him, a slender, quiet figure, making the picture complete.
It was her quietness which impressed itself upon him more than all else. After the first moments, when she had uttered her cry on seeing him, and had given way in her momentary14 agitation15, he had noticed that a curious change fell upon her. When she lifted her face from the gate all emotion seemed to have died out of it; her voice was quiet. One of the things he remembered of their talk was that they had both spoken in voices so low as to be scarcely above a whisper.
When the breakfast was brought in she took a seat at[Pg 188] the table to pour out his coffee and attend to his wants. She ate very little herself, but he rarely looked up without finding her eyes resting upon him with wistful interest.
"At least," she said once, "I must see that you have a good breakfast. The kindest thing you can do this morning is to be hungry. Please be hungry if you can."
The consciousness that she was caring for him was a wonderful and touching16 thing to him. The little housewifely acts with which most men are familiar were bewilderingly new to him. He had never been on sufficiently17 intimate social terms with women to receive many of these pretty services at their hands. His unsophisticated reverence18 for everything feminine had worked against him, with the reserve which was one of its results. It had been his habit to feel that there was no reason why he should be singled out for the bestowal19 of favors, and he had perhaps ignored many through the sheer ignorance of simple and somewhat exaggerated humility20.
To find himself sitting at the table alone with Bertha, in her new mood,—Bertha quiet and beautiful,—was a moving experience to him. It was as if they two must have sat there every day for years, and had the prospect21 of sitting so together indefinitely. It was the very simplicity22 and naturalness of it all which stirred him most. Her old vivid gayety was missing; she did not laugh once, but her smile was very sweet. They talked principally of the children, and of the common things about them, but there was never a word which did not seem a thing to be cherished and remembered. After a while the children were brought down, and she took Meg upon her knee, and Jack23 leaned against her while she told Tredennis what they had been doing, and the sun creeping through the vines touched her hair and the child's and made a picture of them. When she went upstairs she took Meg with her, holding her little hand[Pg 189] and talking to her in pretty maternal24 fashion; and, after the two had vanished, Tredennis found it necessary to pull himself together with a strong effort, that he might prove himself equal to the conversational25 demands made upon him by Master Jack, who had remained behind.
"I will go and see Janey again," she had said. "And then, perhaps, you will pay her a visit."
When he went up, a quarter of an hour later, he found his small favorite touchingly26 glad to see him. The fever from which she had been suffering for several days had left her languid and perishable-looking, but she roused wonderfully at the sight of him, and when he seated himself at her bedside regarded him with adoring admiration27, finally expressing her innocent conviction that he had grown very much since their last meeting.
"But it doesn't matter," she hastened to assure him, "because I don't mind it, and mamma doesn't, either."
When, in the course of the morning, Doctor Wentworth arrived, he discovered him still sitting by the bedside, only Janey had crept close to him and fallen asleep, clasping both her small hands about his large one, and laying her face upon his palm.
"What!" said the doctor. "Can you do that sort of thing?"
"I don't know," answered Tredennis, slowly. "I never did it before."
He looked down at the small, frail28 creature, and the color showed itself under his bronzed skin.
"I think she's rather fond of me—or something," he added with na?veté, "and I like it."
"She likes it, that's evident," said the doctor.
He turned away to have an interview with Bertha, whom he took to the window at the opposite end of the room, and after it was over they came back together.
"She is not so ill as she was yesterday," he said; "and she was not so ill then as you thought her." He turned and looked at Bertha herself. "She doesn't need[Pg 190] as much care now as you do," he said, "that's my impression. What have you been doing with yourself?"
"Taking care of her," she answered, "since she began to complain of not feeling well."
He was a bluff29, kindly30 fellow, with a bluff, kindly way, and he shook a big forefinger31 at her.
"You have been carrying her up and down in your arms," he said. "Don't deny it."
"No," she answered, "I won't deny it."
"Of course," he said. "I know you—carrying her up and down in your arms, and singing to her and telling her stories, and holding her on your knee when you weren't doing anything worse. You'd do it if she were three times the size."
She blushed guiltily, and looked at Janey.
"Good Heaven!" he said. "You women will drive me mad! Don't let me hear any more about fashionable mothers who kill their children! I find my difficulty in fashionable children who kill their mothers, and in little simpletons who break down under the sheer weight of their maternal nonsense. Who was it who nearly died of the measles32?"
"But—but," she faltered33, deprecatingly, "I don't think I ever had the measles."
"They weren't your measles," he said, with amiable34 sternness. "They were Jack's, and Janey's, and Meg's, and so much the worse."
"But," she interposed, with a very pretty eagerness, "they got through them beautifully, and there wasn't a cold among them."
"There wouldn't have been a cold among them if you'd let a couple of sensible nurses take care of them. Do you suppose I'm not equal to bringing three children through the measles? It's all nonsense, and sentiment, and self-indulgence. You like to do it, and you do it, and, as a natural consequence, you die of somebody else's measles—or come as near it as possible."
[Pg 191]
She blushed as guiltily as before, and looked at Janey again.
"I think she is very much better," she said.
"Yes," he answered, "she is better, and I want to see you better. Who is going to help you to take care of her?"
"I came to try to do that," said Tredennis.
Bertha turned to look at him.
"You?" she exclaimed. "Oh, no! You are very good; but now the worst is over, I couldn't"—
"Should I be in the way?" he asked.
She drew back a little. For a moment she had changed again, and returned to the ordinary conventional atmosphere.
"No," she said, "you know that you would not be in the way, but I should scarcely be likely to encroach upon your time in such a manner."
The doctor laughed.
"He is exactly what you need," he said. "And he would be of more use to you than a dozen nurses. He won't stand any of your maternal weakness, and he will see that my orders are carried out. He'll domineer over you, and you'll be afraid of him. You had better let him stay. But you must settle it between you after I am gone."
Bertha went downstairs with him to receive a few final directions, and when she returned Tredennis had gently released himself from Janey, and had gone to the window, where he stood evidently awaiting her.
"Do you know," he said, with his disproportionately stern air, when she joined him,—"do you know why I came here?"
"You came," she answered, "because I alarmed you unnecessarily, and it seemed that some one must come, and you were kind enough to assume the responsibility."
"I came because there was no one else," he began.
She stopped him with a question she had not asked before, and he felt that she asked it inadvertently.
"Where was Laurence Arbuthnot?" she said.
[Pg 192]
"That is true," he replied, grimly. "Laurence Arbuthnot would have been better."
"No," she said, "he would not have been better."
She looked up at him with a curious mixture of questioning and defiance35 in her eyes.
"I don't know why it is that I always manage to make you angry," she said; "I must be very stupid. I always know you will be angry before you have done with me. When we were downstairs"—
"When we were downstairs," he put in, hotly, "we were two honest human beings, without any barriers of conventional pretence36 between us, and you allowed me to think you meant to take what I had to offer, and then, suddenly, all is changed, and the barrier is between us again, because you choose to place it there, and profess37 that you must regard me, in your pretty, civil way, as a creature to be considered and treated with form and ceremony."
"Thank you for calling it a pretty way," she said.
And yet there was a tone in her low voice which softened38 his wrath39 somehow,—a rather helpless tone, which suggested that she had said the words only because she had no other resource, and still must utter her faint protest.
"It is for me," he went on, "to come to you with a civil pretence instead of an honest intention? I am not sufficiently used to conventionalities to make myself bearable. I am always blundering and stumbling. No one can feel that more bitterly than I do; but you have no right to ignore my claim to do what I can when I might be of use. I might be of use, because the child is fond of me, and in my awkward fashion I can quiet and amuse her as you say no one but yourself can."
"Will you tell me?" she asked, frigidly40, "what right I have to permit you to make of yourself a—a nursemaid to my child?"
"Call it what you like," he answered. "Speak of it as you like. What right does it need? I came because"—
[Pg 193]
His recollection of her desolateness41 checked him. It was not for him to remind her again by his recklessness of speech that her husband had not felt it necessary to provide against contingencies42. But she filled up the sentence.
"Yes, you are right," she said. "As you said before, there was no one else—no one."
"It chanced to be so," he said; "and why should I not be allowed to fill up the breach43 for the time being?"
"Because it is almost absurd," she said, inconsequently. "Don't you see that?"
"No," he answered, obstinately44.
Their eyes met, and rested upon each other.
"You don't care?" she said.
"No."
"I knew you wouldn't," she said. "You never care for anything. That is what I like in you—and dread45."
"Dread?" he said; and in the instant he saw that she had changed again. Her cheeks had flushed, and there was upon her lips a smile, half-bitter, half-sweet.
"I knew you would not go," she said, "as well as I knew that it was only civil in me to suggest that you should. You are generous enough to care for me in a way I am not quite used to—and you always have your own way. Have it now; have it as long as you are here. Until you go away I shall do everything you tell me to do, and never once oppose you again; and—perhaps I shall enjoy the novelty."
There was a chair near her, and she put her hand against it as if to steady herself, and the color in her face died out as quickly as it had risen.
"I did not want you to go," she said.
"You did not want me to go?"
"No," she answered, in a manner more baffling than all the rest. "More than anything in the world I wanted you to stay. There, Janey is awakening46!"
And she went to the bed and kneeled down beside it, and drew the child into her arms against her bosom47.
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收听单词发音
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1
tinge
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| vt.(较淡)着色于，染色；使带有…气息；n.淡淡色彩，些微的气息 | |
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mansion
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| n.大厦，大楼；宅第 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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4
dexterously
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| adv.巧妙地，敏捷地 | |
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grafted
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| 移植( graft的过去式和过去分词 )； 嫁接； 使（思想、制度等）成为（…的一部份）； 植根 | |
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6
odds
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| n.让步，机率，可能性，比率；胜败优劣之别 | |
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7
abide
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| vi.遵守；坚持；vt.忍受 | |
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8
recesses
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| n.壁凹( recess的名词复数 )；（工作或业务活动的）中止或暂停期间；学校的课间休息；某物内部的凹形空间v.把某物放在墙壁的凹处( recess的第三人称单数 )；将（墙）做成凹形，在（墙）上做壁龛；休息，休会，休庭 | |
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9
vaguely
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| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
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10
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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11
mellowed
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| （使）成熟( mellow的过去式和过去分词 )； 使色彩更加柔和，使酒更加醇香 | |
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12
intensified
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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13
ornaments
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| n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 )；点缀；装饰品；首饰v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的第三人称单数 ) | |
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14
momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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18
reverence
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| n.敬畏，尊敬，尊严；Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称；v.尊敬，敬畏，崇敬 | |
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19
bestowal
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| 赠与，给与； 贮存 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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prospect
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| n.前景，前途；景色，视野 | |
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22
simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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23
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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24
maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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conversational
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| adj.对话的，会话的 | |
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touchingly
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| adv.令人同情地，感人地，动人地 | |
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27
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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28
frail
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| adj.身体虚弱的；易损坏的 | |
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29
bluff
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| v.虚张声势，用假象骗人；n.虚张声势，欺骗 | |
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30
kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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31
forefinger
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| n.食指 | |
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32
measles
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| n.麻疹，风疹，包虫病，痧子 | |
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33
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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34
amiable
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| adj.和蔼可亲的，友善的，亲切的 | |
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35
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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36
pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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37
profess
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| v.声称，冒称，以...为业，正式接受入教，表明信仰 | |
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38
softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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39
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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40
frigidly
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| adv.寒冷地；冷漠地；冷淡地；呆板地 | |
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41
desolateness
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| 孤独 | |
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42
contingencies
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| n.偶然发生的事故，意外事故( contingency的名词复数 )；以备万一 | |
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43
breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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44
obstinately
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| ad.固执地，顽固地 | |
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45
dread
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| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
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46
awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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47
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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