"I must go to Madame Royaumont to-morrow, to try on my gown. Yesterday I went with Fagette to Jeanne Perrin's dressing7-room; she was dressing, [Pg 213] and she showed her hairy legs, as if she was proud of them. She's not ugly, Jeanne Perrin; indeed, she has a fine head; but it is her expression that I dislike. How does Madame Colbert make out that I owe her thirty-two francs? Fourteen and three are seventeen, and nine, twenty-six. I owe her only twenty-six francs. 'Our days are what we make them.' How hot I feel!"
With one swift movement of her supple8 loins she turned over, and her bare arms opened to embrace the air as though it had been a cool, subtle body.
"It seems a hundred years since Robert went away. It was cruel of him to leave me alone. I am sick with longing9 for him." And curled up in her bed, she recollected10 intently the hours when they held each other in a close embrace. She called him:
"My pussy-cat! Little wolf!"
And immediately the same train of thoughts began once more their fatiguing11 procession through her mind.
"Our days are what we make them. Our days are what we make them. Our days....' Fourteen and three, seventeen, and nine, twenty-six. I could see quite plainly that Jeanne Perrin showed her long man's legs, dark with hair, on purpose. Is it true what they say, that Jeanne Perrin gives money [Pg 214] to women? I must try my gown on at four o'clock to-morrow. There's one dreadful thing, Madame Royaumont never can put in the sleeves properly. How hot I am! Socrates is a good doctor. But he does sometimes amuse himself by making you feel a stupid fool."
Suddenly she thought of Chevalier, and she seemed to feel an influence emanating12 from him which was gliding13 along the walls of her bedroom. It seemed to her that the glimmer of the night-light was dimmed by it. It was less than a shadow, and it filled her with alarm. The idea suddenly flashed through her mind that this subtle thing had its origin in the portraits of the dead man. She had not kept any of them in her bedroom. But there were still some in the flat, some that she had not torn up. She carefully reckoned them up, and discovered that there must still be three left: the first, when he was quite young, showed him against a cloudy background; another, laughing and at his ease, sitting astride of a chair; a third as Don C?sar de Bazan. In her hurry to destroy every vestige14 of them she sprang out of bed, lit a candle, and in her nightgown shuffled15 along in her slippers16 into the drawing-room, until she came to the rosewood table, surmounted17 by a phoenix18 palm. She pulled up the tablecloth19 and searched through the drawer. It contained card-counters, sockets20 for candles, a [Pg 215] few scraps21 of wood detached from the furniture, two or three lustres belonging to the chandelier and a few photographs, among which she found only one of Chevalier, the earliest, showing him standing22 against a cloudy background.
She searched for the other two in a little piece of Boule furniture which adorned23 the space between the windows, and on which were some Chinese lamps. Here slumbered24 lamp-globes of ground glass, lamp-shades, cut-glass goblets25 ornamented26 with gilt27 bronze, a match-stand in painted porcelain flanked by a child sleeping against a drum beside a dog, books whose bindings were detached, tattered28 musical scores, a couple of broken fans, a flute29, and a small heap of carte-de-visite portraits. There she discovered a second Chevalier, the Don C?sar de Bazan. The third was not there. She asked herself in vain where it could have been hidden away. Fruitlessly she hunted through boxes, bowls, flowerpot holders30, and the music davenport. And while she was eagerly searching for the portrait, it was growing in size and distinctness in her imagination, attaining31 to a man's stature32, was assuming a mocking air and defying her. Her head was on fire, her feet were like ice, and she could feel terror creeping into the pit of her stomach. Just as she was about to give up the search, about to go and bury her face in her pillow, she remembered that [Pg 216] her mother kept some photographs in her mirror-panelled wardrobe. She again took courage. Softly she entered the room of the sleeping Madame Nanteuil. With silent steps she crept over to the wardrobe, opened it slowly and noiselessly, and, standing on a chair, explored the top shelf, which was loaded with old cardboard boxes. She came upon an album which dated from the Second Empire, and which had not been opened for twenty years. She rummaged33 among a mass of letters, of bundles of receipts and Mont-de-Piété vouchers34. Awakened35 by the light of the candle and by the mouse-like noise made by the seeker, Madame Nanteuil demanded:
"Who is there?"
Immediately, perceiving the familiar little phantom36 in her long nightgown, with a heavy plait of hair down her back, perched on a chair, she exclaimed:
"It's you, Félicie? You are not ill, are you? What are you doing there?"
"I am looking for something."
"In my wardrobe?"
"Yes, mamma."
"Will you kindly37 go back to your bed! You will catch cold. Tell me at least what you are looking for. If it's the chocolate, it is on the middle shelf next to the silver sugar-basin."
[Pg 217]
But Félicie had seized upon a packet of photographs, which she was rapidly turning over. Her impatient fingers rejected Madame Doulce, bedecked with lace, Fagette, radiant, her hair dissolving in its own brilliance38; Tony Meyer, with close-set eyes and a nose drooping39 over his lips; Pradel, with his flourishing beard; Trublet, bald and snub-nosed; Monsieur Bondois, with timorous40 eye and straight nose set above a heavy moustache. Although not in a mood to bestow41 any attention upon Monsieur Bondois, she gave him a passing glance of hostility42, and by chance let a drop of candle-grease disfigure his nose.
Madame Nanteuil, who was now wide awake, could make nothing of her proceedings43.
Félicie, who at last held the photograph for which she had sought so assiduously, responded only by a cry of fierce delight and flew from the chair, taking with her her dead friend, and, inadvertently, Monsieur Bondois as well.
Returning to the drawing-room she crouched45 down by the fireplace, and made a fire of paper, into which she cast Chevalier's three photographs. She watched them blazing, and when the three bits of cardboard, twisted and blackened, had flown up the chimney, and neither shape nor substance was [Pg 218] left, she breathed freely. She really believed, this time, that she had deprived the jealous dead man of the material of his apparitions46, and had freed herself from the dreaded47 obsession48.
On picking up her candlestick she saw Monsieur Bondois, whose nose had disappeared beneath a round blob of white wax. Not knowing what to do with him she threw him with a laugh into the still flaming grate.
Returning to her room she stood before the looking-glass and drew her nightgown closely about her, in order to emphasize the lines of her body. A thought which occasionally flitted through her mind tarried there this time a little longer than usual.
"Why is one made like that, with a head, arms, legs, hands, feet, chest, and abdomen50? Why is one made like that and not otherwise? It's funny."
And at the moment the human form seemed to her arbitrary, fantastic, alien. But her astonishment51 was soon over. And, as she looked at herself, she felt pleased with herself. She was conscious of a keen deep-seated delight in herself. She bared her breasts, held them delicately in the hollow of her hands, looked at them tenderly in the glass, as if they were not a part of herself, but something [Pg 219] belonging to her, like two living creatures, like a pair of doves.
After smiling upon them, she went back to bed. Waking late in the morning she felt surprised for a moment at being alone in her bed. Sometimes, in a dream, she would divide herself into two beings, and, feeling her own flesh, she would dream that she was being caressed52 by a woman.
点击
收听单词发音
收听单词发音 |
1
porcelain
|
|
| n.瓷；adj.瓷的，瓷制的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
milky
|
|
| adj.牛奶的，多奶的；乳白色的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
glimmer
|
|
| v.发出闪烁的微光；n.微光，微弱的闪光 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
insomnia
|
|
| n.失眠，失眠症 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
recurred
|
|
| 再发生，复发( recur的过去式和过去分词 )； 治愈 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
obsessed
|
|
| adj.心神不宁的,鬼迷心窍的,沉迷的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
dressing
|
|
| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
supple
|
|
| adj.柔软的，易弯的，逢迎的，顺从的，灵活的；vt.使柔软，使柔顺，使顺从；vi.变柔软，变柔顺 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
longing
|
|
| n.（for）渴望 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
recollected
|
|
| adj.冷静的；镇定的；被回忆起的；沉思默想的v.记起，想起( recollect的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
fatiguing
|
|
| a.使人劳累的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
emanating
|
|
| v.从…处传出，传出( emanate的现在分词 )；产生，表现，显示 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
gliding
|
|
| v. 滑翔 adj. 滑动的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
vestige
|
|
| n.痕迹，遗迹，残余 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
shuffled
|
|
| v.洗（纸牌）( shuffle的过去式和过去分词 )；拖着脚步走；粗心地做；摆脱尘世的烦恼 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
slippers
|
|
| n. 拖鞋 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
surmounted
|
|
| 战胜( surmount的过去式和过去分词 )； 克服（困难）； 居于…之上； 在…顶上 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
phoenix
|
|
| n.凤凰，长生(不死)鸟；引申为重生 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
tablecloth
|
|
| n.桌布，台布 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
sockets
|
|
| n.套接字，使应用程序能够读写与收发通讯协定(protocol)与资料的程序( Socket的名词复数 )；孔( socket的名词复数 )；（电器上的）插口；托座；凹穴 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
scraps
|
|
| 油渣 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
standing
|
|
| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
adorned
|
|
| [计]被修饰的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
slumbered
|
|
| 微睡，睡眠（slumber的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
goblets
|
|
| n.高脚酒杯( goblet的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
ornamented
|
|
| adj.花式字体的v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
gilt
|
|
| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
tattered
|
|
| adj.破旧的，衣衫破的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
flute
|
|
| n.长笛；v.吹笛 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
holders
|
|
| 支持物( holder的名词复数 )； 持有者； （支票等）持有人； 支托（或握持）…之物 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
attaining
|
|
| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的现在分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
stature
|
|
| n.（高度）水平，（高度）境界，身高，身材 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
rummaged
|
|
| 翻找，搜寻( rummage的过去式和过去分词 )； 已经海关检查 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
vouchers
|
|
| n.凭证( voucher的名词复数 )；证人；证件；收据 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
awakened
|
|
| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
phantom
|
|
| n.幻影，虚位，幽灵；adj.错觉的，幻影的，幽灵的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
kindly
|
|
| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
brilliance
|
|
| n.光辉，辉煌，壮丽，（卓越的）才华，才智 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
drooping
|
|
| adj. 下垂的，无力的 动词droop的现在分词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
timorous
|
|
| adj.胆怯的，胆小的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
bestow
|
|
| v.把…赠与，把…授予；花费 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
hostility
|
|
| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
proceedings
|
|
| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
poking
|
|
| n. 刺，戳，袋 vt. 拨开，刺，戳 vi. 戳，刺，捅，搜索，伸出，行动散慢 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
crouched
|
|
| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
apparitions
|
|
| n.特异景象( apparition的名词复数 )；幽灵；鬼；（特异景象等的）出现 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
dreaded
|
|
| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
obsession
|
|
| n.困扰，无法摆脱的思想(或情感) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
wont
|
|
| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
abdomen
|
|
| n.腹，下腹(胸部到腿部的部分) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
astonishment
|
|
| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
caressed
|
|
| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |