It commenced its career, back in the long ago, as a glorified1 week-end bungalow2 for Doges. In course of time it became a monastery3.
When the pious4 monks5 took over they got busy with whitewash6 and obliterated7 most of the Doges' sportive mural decorations. Most, but not all.
Methinks the Abbot had tripped the boulevards in his youth and he spared some of the brighter spots of the more sportive frescoes9 in memory of old times and to keep his heart up during Lent. Anyhow they are still there.
To-day our long-faced chums champ their feeds in cloisters10 where once the good monks told their beads11, and our bold sergeant12 boys quaff13 their tonics14 beneath a painted ceiling whereon Rackham satyrs are depicted15 chivvying Kirchner nymphs across a Leader landscape.
A small portion of one immense wing is inhabited by a refugee lady, who had retired16 in good order, haling the whole menagerie along with her, calves17, fowls18, children, donkey, piebald pig and all.
When first we came into residence here we heard strange nocturnal swishings and shufflings overhead, where none should be, and attributed them to the ghost of the Abbot, who had returned from Purgatory19 with a bucket of lime and was striving to wash out his former lapses20. Later on we discovered it was the calves, who from inscrutable motives21 of their own prefer living in the attics22. How Mrs. Refugee hoisted23 them up there in the first place and how she proposes to get them down again when they ripen24 are questions she alone can answer, but will never do so because we haven't enough Italian to ask her.
The piebald pig is supported entirely25 by voluntary contributions, and, like many other such institutions, keeps frequent fasts. When he retreated here there was no sty to accommodate him; but Mrs. Refugee, with the practical originality26 that distinguishes her, routed out a retired dog-kennel from somewhere and anchored him to it. This has had the effect of creating in him a dual27 personality.
Sometimes he thinks he is just fat old Dolce F. Niente the pig, and behaves as such, and one can tread all over him without disturbing his melodious28 slumbers29. At others the collar and chain prey30 on his mind and he imagines he is Patrise Defensor the trusty watch-dog, and mows31 down all comers.
The children and fowls are doing nicely. They speedily discover what innumerable fowls and children all the world over had discovered before them, namely, that the turtling dove is a wild beast compared with the British warrior32 and his war-horse, and they victimise the defenceless creatures accordingly.
The result is that the Atkinses get only what husks of their rations8 the children have neglected, and the fowls only allow the hairies what oats they cannot possibly stagger away with.
Antonio Giuseppe the donkey was also a war profiteer. Commerce might stagnate33, armies clash and struggle, nations bleed to death, he did not care. "Viva la guerra!" said Antonio Giuseppe. "As long as there is a British unit handy to dine out with I'm all for it." These sentiments, though deplorable, were not without reason, for until we came I very much doubt if he had ever had a full meal—a real rib-straining blow-out—in his life.
He was a miserable34 little creature, standing35 about a yard high by six inches broad. By tucking in his tail he could have passed for a rabbit at any fancy-dress ball. His costume was a patch-work affair of hairy tufts and bare spaces. I think he must have been laid away in a drawer without camphor at one time and been mauled by a moth36.
A disreputable ragamuffin person was Antonio Giuseppe the donkey, but for all that he had a way with him, and was in his day the Light-weight Champion Diner-out of all Italy—probably of the world.
At night he reposed37 in the kitchen along with Mrs. Refugee, the bambini and fowls. The day he spent in his observation post, lurking38 behind a screen of mulberries and vines, keeping a watchful39 eye on the horses.
As soon as their nosebags were on he commenced to move stealthily towards the lines, timing40 himself to arrive just as the nosebags came off and the hay-nets went up. He then glided41 softly between the horses and helped himself. Being tiny and very discreet42 he frequently passed unobserved, but should the line-guard spot him he had his plan of action.
Oft-times have I seen a perspiring43 and blasphemous44 trooper pursuing the winged Antonio Giuseppe round the lines with a stable broom; but when the broom descended45 Antonio Giuseppe was not there to receive it. He would nip under the breast-rope, slip in under one horse's belly46 and out between the legs of another, dodging47 through and round the astounded48 animals like a half-back through a loose scrum or a greased pig at a fair, snatching a generous contribution from each hay-net as he passed. Under this method Antonio throve and throve; but the tale of splintered brooms grew and grew and the Quartermaster loved me not.
Yesterday the General intimated that he'd like to inspect us. Always eager to oblige, we licked, polished, brushed and burnished49 ourselves, pipeclayed our head-ropes, pomaded our moustaches, powdered our noses and paraded.
We paraded to-day in regimental column in a field west of our palace-workhouse and sat stiff in our saddles, the cheerful sunshine glowing on leather-work, glinting on brass50 and steel, conscious that we could give any Beauty Chorus a run for its money.
There sounded a shrill51 fanfaronade of trumpets52, tootling the salute53, and a dazzle of gold and scarlet54 like a Turner sunset, blazed into view—the General and his Staff.
At the same moment Antonio Giuseppe espied55 us from his observation post and, getting it into his head that we were picnicing out (it was about lunch-time), hastened to join us. As the General reached the leading squadron Antonio Giuseppe reached the near squadron and, sliding unobtrusively into its ranks, looked about for the hay-nets.
However the Second in Command noticed his arrival and motioned to his trumpeter. The trumpeter spurned56 forward and pinked Antonio Giuseppe in the hindquarters with his sword-point as a hint to him to move on. Antonio, thinking the line-guards were upon him and with a new type of broom, loosed a squeal57 of agony and straightway commenced his puss-in-the-corner antics in and out and round about the horses' legs. They didn't like it at all; it tickled58 and upset them; they changed from the horizontal to the vertical59, giggled60 and pawed the air.
Things were becoming serious. A hee-hawing tatterdemalion donkey, playing "ring o' roses" with a squadron of war-horses, tickling61 them into hysterics, detracts from the majesty62 of such occasions and is no fit spectacle for a General. A second trumpeter joined in the chase and scored a direct prick63 on the soft of Antonio Giuseppe's nose as he dived out under the tail of a plunging64 gun-mare. Antonio whipped about and fled towards the centre squadron, ears wobbling, braying65 anguished66 S.O.S.'s. The two trumpeters, young and ardent67 lads, thundered after him, swords at the engage, racing68 each other, knee to knee for first blood. They scored simultaneously69 on the butt70 of his tail, and Antonio, stung to the quick, shot clean through (or rather under) the centre squadron into the legs of the General's horse, tripping up that majestic71 animal and bringing the whole stately edifice72 down into a particularly muddy patch of Italy.
Tremendous and awful moment! As my groom73 and countryman expressed it, "Ye cud hear the silence for miles." The General did not break it. I think his mouth was too full of mud and loose teeth for words. He arose slowly out of the ooze74 like an old walrus75 lifting through a bed of seaweed black as death, slime dripping from his whiskers, and limped grimly from the field, followed by his pallid76 staff proffering77 handkerchiefs and smelling-salts. But I understand he became distinctly articulate when he got home, and the upshot of it is that we are to be put in the forefront of the nastiest battle that can be arranged for us.
And Antonio Giuseppe the donkey, author of all the trouble, what of him? you ask.
Antonio Giuseppe the donkey will never smile again, dear reader. With his edges trimmed and "Welcome" branded across his back he may serve as a mangy door-mat for some suburban78 maisonette, but at the present moment he lies in the mud of the parade-ground, as flat as a sole on a sand-bank, waiting for someone to roll him up and carry him away.
When a full-fed Major-General falls he falls heavily.
点击收听单词发音
1 glorified | |
美其名的,变荣耀的 | |
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2 bungalow | |
n.平房,周围有阳台的木造小平房 | |
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3 monastery | |
n.修道院,僧院,寺院 | |
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4 pious | |
adj.虔诚的;道貌岸然的 | |
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5 monks | |
n.修道士,僧侣( monk的名词复数 ) | |
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6 whitewash | |
v.粉刷,掩饰;n.石灰水,粉刷,掩饰 | |
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7 obliterated | |
v.除去( obliterate的过去式和过去分词 );涂去;擦掉;彻底破坏或毁灭 | |
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8 rations | |
定量( ration的名词复数 ); 配给量; 正常量; 合理的量 | |
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9 frescoes | |
n.壁画( fresco的名词复数 );温壁画技法,湿壁画 | |
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10 cloisters | |
n.(学院、修道院、教堂等建筑的)走廊( cloister的名词复数 );回廊;修道院的生活;隐居v.隐退,使与世隔绝( cloister的第三人称单数 ) | |
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11 beads | |
n.(空心)小珠子( bead的名词复数 );水珠;珠子项链 | |
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12 sergeant | |
n.警官,中士 | |
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13 quaff | |
v.一饮而尽;痛饮 | |
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14 tonics | |
n.滋补品( tonic的名词复数 );主音;奎宁水;浊音 | |
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15 depicted | |
描绘,描画( depict的过去式和过去分词 ); 描述 | |
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16 retired | |
adj.隐退的,退休的,退役的 | |
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17 calves | |
n.(calf的复数)笨拙的男子,腓;腿肚子( calf的名词复数 );牛犊;腓;小腿肚v.生小牛( calve的第三人称单数 );(冰川)崩解;生(小牛等),产(犊);使(冰川)崩解 | |
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18 fowls | |
鸟( fowl的名词复数 ); 禽肉; 既不是这; 非驴非马 | |
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19 purgatory | |
n.炼狱;苦难;adj.净化的,清洗的 | |
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20 lapses | |
n.失误,过失( lapse的名词复数 );小毛病;行为失检;偏离正道v.退步( lapse的第三人称单数 );陷入;倒退;丧失 | |
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21 motives | |
n.动机,目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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22 attics | |
n. 阁楼 | |
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23 hoisted | |
把…吊起,升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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24 ripen | |
vt.使成熟;vi.成熟 | |
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25 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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26 originality | |
n.创造力,独创性;新颖 | |
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27 dual | |
adj.双的;二重的,二元的 | |
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28 melodious | |
adj.旋律美妙的,调子优美的,音乐性的 | |
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29 slumbers | |
睡眠,安眠( slumber的名词复数 ) | |
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30 prey | |
n.被掠食者,牺牲者,掠食;v.捕食,掠夺,折磨 | |
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31 mows | |
v.刈,割( mow的第三人称单数 ) | |
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32 warrior | |
n.勇士,武士,斗士 | |
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33 stagnate | |
v.停止 | |
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34 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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35 standing | |
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的 | |
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36 moth | |
n.蛾,蛀虫 | |
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37 reposed | |
v.将(手臂等)靠在某人(某物)上( repose的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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38 lurking | |
潜在 | |
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39 watchful | |
adj.注意的,警惕的 | |
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40 timing | |
n.时间安排,时间选择 | |
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41 glided | |
v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 );掠过;(鸟或飞机 ) 滑翔 | |
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42 discreet | |
adj.(言行)谨慎的;慎重的;有判断力的 | |
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43 perspiring | |
v.出汗,流汗( perspire的现在分词 ) | |
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44 blasphemous | |
adj.亵渎神明的,不敬神的 | |
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45 descended | |
a.为...后裔的,出身于...的 | |
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46 belly | |
n.肚子,腹部;(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分,膛 | |
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47 dodging | |
n.避开,闪过,音调改变v.闪躲( dodge的现在分词 );回避 | |
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48 astounded | |
v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词);愕然;愕;惊讶 | |
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49 burnished | |
adj.抛光的,光亮的v.擦亮(金属等),磨光( burnish的过去式和过去分词 );被擦亮,磨光 | |
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50 brass | |
n.黄铜;黄铜器,铜管乐器 | |
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51 shrill | |
adj.尖声的;刺耳的;v尖叫 | |
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52 trumpets | |
喇叭( trumpet的名词复数 ); 小号; 喇叭形物; (尤指)绽开的水仙花 | |
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53 salute | |
vi.行礼,致意,问候,放礼炮;vt.向…致意,迎接,赞扬;n.招呼,敬礼,礼炮 | |
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54 scarlet | |
n.深红色,绯红色,红衣;adj.绯红色的 | |
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55 espied | |
v.看到( espy的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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56 spurned | |
v.一脚踢开,拒绝接受( spurn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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57 squeal | |
v.发出长而尖的声音;n.长而尖的声音 | |
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58 tickled | |
(使)发痒( tickle的过去式和过去分词 ); (使)愉快,逗乐 | |
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59 vertical | |
adj.垂直的,顶点的,纵向的;n.垂直物,垂直的位置 | |
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60 giggled | |
v.咯咯地笑( giggle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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61 tickling | |
反馈,回授,自旋挠痒法 | |
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62 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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63 prick | |
v.刺伤,刺痛,刺孔;n.刺伤,刺痛 | |
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64 plunging | |
adj.跳进的,突进的v.颠簸( plunge的现在分词 );暴跌;骤降;突降 | |
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65 braying | |
v.发出驴叫似的声音( bray的现在分词 );发嘟嘟声;粗声粗气地讲话(或大笑);猛击 | |
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66 anguished | |
adj.极其痛苦的v.使极度痛苦(anguish的过去式) | |
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67 ardent | |
adj.热情的,热烈的,强烈的,烈性的 | |
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68 racing | |
n.竞赛,赛马;adj.竞赛用的,赛马用的 | |
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69 simultaneously | |
adv.同时发生地,同时进行地 | |
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70 butt | |
n.笑柄;烟蒂;枪托;臀部;v.用头撞或顶 | |
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71 majestic | |
adj.雄伟的,壮丽的,庄严的,威严的,崇高的 | |
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72 edifice | |
n.宏伟的建筑物(如宫殿,教室) | |
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73 groom | |
vt.给(马、狗等)梳毛,照料,使...整洁 | |
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74 ooze | |
n.软泥,渗出物;vi.渗出,泄漏;vt.慢慢渗出,流露 | |
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75 walrus | |
n.海象 | |
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76 pallid | |
adj.苍白的,呆板的 | |
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77 proffering | |
v.提供,贡献,提出( proffer的现在分词 ) | |
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78 suburban | |
adj.城郊的,在郊区的 | |
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