“I am writing this record of my thoughts and actions in order that I may be better able to understand myself; to improve in that wherein I find myself wanting, and that some day I may be able to look back and find a rule of development or perhaps of life, with its assistance. I shall endeavour to be at least honest with myself, and hope that the use of this book may help me occasionally, to sever1 myself mentally from the[136] associations of the world and retire within myself. My hope is that some day I may be able to become acquainted with my own individuality, and discover what is the first essential and object of my existence.”
If love for others was the ruling passion, the realization2 of a high ideal was the constant purpose of Harper’s life. He deliberately3, at an early age, looked in upon his life; regarded it as a trust given him by the Creator to mould and fashion at his will; saw that it had capacities which he believed to be infinite and divine; and sought, by reflection and action, to unfold its meaning and to work out its end. “There is a dreamy undercurrent in my whole make-up, which I have never been able to understand, but which sometimes seems to me to be more real than my waking life.” Already the infinite mystery had become a great reality to him. His search was not in vain. Before its close,
“He saw life clearly, And he saw it whole.”
Man found himself in a world surrounded[137] by mortals like himself; two theories were possible, either all was chance, or there was design. If chance, there could be no ultimate meaning of things, no relation between the parts, either between the universe and man, or man and his fellows; truth and right there might be, by arrangement, but they could not be absolute; duty might exist, but under what law? No, the world, man,—these clearly were to be accounted for in some more rational way. The only alternative was design. The finite mind, seeking to interpret the Infinite, had invented a language, whereby, through the medium of words, it sought to give expression to its thoughts. A creator and an infinite purpose were essential to design; the creator, the finite mind conceived of as God, the infinite purpose, His will. To know God and to do His will became then the chief end of man.
From a consciousness of the mystery of his own being and of the universe about him, the earliest perception of the infinite nature of each and of their relation, came to Harper[138] in the discovery of what he was wont4 to call “the rule of law.” In Nature he found it first. In Nature there was no chance, all was cause and effect; there was constant change, but no final destruction. “Immortal5 growth was the prophecy which Nature made for man.” What the eye of the senses discovered in the physical world, the eye of the soul discerned to be true of the inner life. Character was not the child of Destiny, the shadow of Circumstance, it was the one immortal creation of which man was capable. “What a man sows, that shall he also reap.” In character was the harvest of all that a man ever thought, or willed, or did.
And herein lay the greatness of life. An order in the universe, a capacity in man to discover and interpret; Truth, the order; the path, Right; Reason, lighted by the lamp of Conscience, might lead man to the abode6 of God.
Without some satisfying of reason, Harper maintained there could be no true inspiration of soul; for a belief to be vital, it was neces[139]sary that its significance should be grasped, and its meaning comprehended. It was secondary, therefore, what a man believed, so long as he had a reason for the faith that was in him, and was prepared to follow where an honest search might lead. In the end, the meaning of life would be clear. It was not against criticism or the critical spirit that he was prone7 to object, but against such divorced from an honest and sincere purpose. Honest criticism he believed was essential to clearer vision, and, reverently8 pursued, strengthened belief.
It was the intellectual honesty of Matthew Arnold which attracted Harper so strongly, and gave the writings of that author so great an influence over his life. What he has written, in reference to his reading of Literature and Dogma, is not without interest as showing the effect which this book had upon him, and as disclosing his own views in the matter of criticism and belief.
“To-day,” he writes, “I spent a good morning taking a look into Literature and Dogma,[140] which, so far as I have read, is in entire accord with Matthew Arnold’s clear, critical method of examination. I was anxious to get at his main thesis, and read several chapters, as well as the conclusion, and think that as a result my own views regarding Christianity have been rather strengthened. A quibble always annoys me, but Matthew Arnold’s criticism is of a different sort. For my own part, I am convinced that the critical spirit is not indicative of meanness, but rather of balance and honesty of mind, and is calculated to create, not blind prejudice, but wholesome9 conviction. This is particularly the case where the critic has, as in the case of Matthew Arnold, imaginative power properly controlled, and a deep appreciation10 of love and beauty.”
And some days later:
“To-night I read several chapters of Matthew Arnold’s Literature and Dogma, which, with what I have already read of the work, cleared my mind as to the main purpose of the author, the placing of our conception of the value of the Bible and of Christianity on a more stable and permanent basis. I feel confident that this will be the effect upon my own mind, for I thoroughly[141] hold that a belief to be vital must be real to him who professes11 it. Indeed, the profession to others of what one believes, however important, is almost inevitably12 vague, or, at least, liable to be misunderstood. What is really important is for us to believe what we ourselves find believable and true before the bar of our inmost conscience. I find myself reaching out with eagerness to the thought, which seems an old one to me, that God is intimately associated with conscience; that conduct is important, but that rules of conduct institutionalized are apt to be external and wanting in vital force; and that it was the emphasizing of the importance of the personal, inward condition, which was the real strength and lasting13 service of the new dispensation.
“I find my views clearing as time goes on. Latterly two thoughts have been, perhaps, more prominent than any others: the importance of constant choice in the matter of selection and rejection14, and a respect for the conception of the many sidedness of truth, which conception brings with it a toleration for the views of others, particularly in the matter of religion. For given that religion is an inward personal matter, and that men are constituted so differently, their con[142]ceptions of the truth, itself single and indissoluble, if you will, must vary widely. Under such conditions the necessity of keeping in view the highest standard of life, as illustrated15 by Christ, becomes of the very greatest importance.”
In the character of Christ, Harper found the answer to the question, what is the purpose of life? That life appealed to him from every side. It was the manliest16 of lives. Conscious of its greatness, it could forbear to use its creative powers for selfish ends. It could be governed by a principle, where a multitude could not attract. Bigotry17, passion and prejudice only added force to its invectives; ridicule18 and calumny19, dignity to its assertion of right. In the presence of the strong, it could champion the cause of the weak; the rich it could make to tremble at their neglect of the claims of the poor. In the midst of opposition20, it could stand alone; surrounded by temptation, it could remain pure.
It was the manliest of lives. Chivalrous21 in its defense22 of woman, tender in its love for little children, loyal in its allegiance to friends.[143] Uncompromising it was in its demands for truth, unsparing in its rebuke23 of evil, relentless24, almost violent, in its denunciations of hypocrisy25. Yet nowhere was such sympathy to be found; nowhere, greater compassion26; nowhere, forgiveness more sincere.
It was the manliest of lives, but it was also the simplest and the best. In vain one searched for an account of material possessions; in vain one looked for an assertion of worldly place or power; but it was recorded that its cradle was a manger, its crown, a wreath of thorns. The mountains, the woods, the sea, the flowers, the stars, were so sought by, and so ministered to that life, as to be almost a part of it. Simple fisher-folk of Galilee, devoted27 but humble28 women in the town of Bethany, shared its companionship, the sorrowful and outcast, its love.
And withal, it had a mission, higher, greater than the world had ever known. Clearly it saw into the mystery of the universe, deeply it divined the meaning of the human soul. In words, as simple, as beauti[144]ful, as the flower, or the name which suggested the thought, it related the universe to man, and man to God. “Consider the lilies how they grow!”—all that Nature had to teach was there, selection and rejection, cause and effect, the unfailing operation of law, life and death. “Our Father,”—obedience, love, trust, forgiveness, the brotherhood29 of man, man’s sonship under God.
Was it a matter of wonder then, that such a nature as Harper’s should be captivated by such a life? Having founded his belief on reason, in the following after the perfect life of Christ, reason was soon outrun by that which brought conviction of itself. Having learned something of the secret and the method of that life, Harper came soon to believe the words:
“Ego sum via, veritas, vita, Sine via non itur, sine veritate non Cognoscitur, sine vita non vivitur.”
They came to be the controlling power in his life.
Harper sought the realization of his belief[145] in conduct. His impurity30, his weakness, he contrasted with the strength and beauty of the life of Christ, and daily sought with an earnest devotion to yield the allegiance due to the higher ideal. Without many professions, he strove silently for the attainment31 of a character which would make him, among men, not unworthy of the ideal which he cherished in his heart.
The following passages may help to make good the truth of these words:
“Idealism is not folly32. It prevents folly. It is the main hope of a delirious33 world. It is the means of informing common sense. An ideal truly cherished is never lost, save to give place to a higher ideal. An ideal is not smashed by experience of frailty34; but is rather thrown into greater relief. Ideals are dissipated only by the clearer view which comes with a widening horizon. Disappointment in persons will not make an idealist a cynic, unless he has no heart.
“Unfortunately, all men are apt to reach out for the immediate35 thing which looms36 large before them. Some are worse than others. And it is[146] only by trying to see things in perspective, by the application of common sense enlightened by idealism, that we can hope to be among the wiser. A constant regard for perfection, the constant cherishing of an intelligent idealism, will, I think, help a man ‘in the midst of the crowd to keep with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude,’—Emerson’s measure of a great man.”
“On the place of churches in national and social life, I take the ground that the important thing for a man is his religion, what he actually believes regarding his relation to the universe, rather than his church affiliation37. The first is individual and real, the latter more or less artificial and a matter of expediency38, a means of assisting him in making easier the spread of the views which he holds; in fine, an institution, with an object doubtless, but none the less an institution, machinery39.”
“This has been a good day, in that life and human duty have been very real to me in it. In the afternoon H——, L—— and I walked out Bank Street to the canal, and, on the way back, I turned the conversation to the question of man’s duty to himself and to others, taking the position that a man owed it to himself to make the most of himself, and that, if he ever earnestly started[147] in on the task, he would find himself moved to see that his influence upon others was in the same direction, namely, towards perfection; that if men were once taught to see the working of the rule of law in this sense, they must inevitably recast their entire views of life to their own advantage and that of society; and that if the church, instead of saying do this, because this and that authority says it is right to do it, would appeal to a man’s appreciation of what manhood means in this sense, there would be more Christlikeness among so-called professors of Christianity.”
“This, my birthday, has commenced most happily. As I lay last night on the couch in our comfortable little room, allowing my thoughts to run on into the future, and resolving to make this new year of my life one marked by real and substantial progress, —— came to me about midnight with a birthday present, which, it seems to me, could not be more in keeping with my present state of mind and resolutions. The present consisted of two splendid engravings of Hoffman’s Christ, the Child, and Christ, and the Rich Young Man. More and more, as time goes on, I am coming to realize that the virtues40 upon which the hopes of the world are based are to be found in that rich beautiful life of the Master.[148] Humility41, self-sacrifice and love, all that appeals to the noblest instincts of our nature, are to be found in the character of that perfect Man, who was ‘despised and afflicted42, yet opened not His mouth.’
“Trammelled by a liberal share of human weakness, an unfortunate combination of high ambition and a tendency to frivolity43, I can only hope to come to realize gradually all that that life represents. When one considers the wide-spread influence which even a comparatively obscure personality yields in this world, the awful responsibility which is attached to every act of volition44, to every word and deed, is forced upon one. These and other weaknesses I must control, and my character I must seek to strengthen in order that my life shall not be useless, in order that I may realize dear mother’s last wish, that we may meet ‘There.’ I must try, with the help of God, to more and more conform thought and act to the model of the perfect life of Christ, a life that if men and States would imitate, there would be an end to viciousness and of man’s inhumanity to man. To be brought face to face, daily, with Hoffman’s beautiful representation should make strong resolutions stronger and more possible of realization.
“It is a beautiful day, the first really cold day[149] of the winter. Rarely do I remember a clearer air, a brighter sun. To me, it is as if God smiles His approval on my resolutions. Pray God, I may be able to live them out in practice.”
“I wrote to F—— to-night, and my heart went out strangely to him as I wrote. The thought which I wished most to convey to him, was the importance of combining nobility of mind with true humility in the sense in which Christ used the words; the truth in the simple but meaningful words of the beatitude, ‘Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God’; and the necessity, with a view to the healthy upbuilding of a strong character, to ‘Be just and fear not.’ The more I am brought into contact with the views of the world, the more I see the wealth of meaning in some of the scriptural sayings. If, as I trust, this expansion in the meaning of things goes on, life should be filled with more and more real happiness, especially if I am able to so master myself as to regulate my life in accord with the truth revealed to me.”
“To-night I feel that what the world wants is more of forbearance, less of viciousness, more of sweetness and light, more of the spirit of Jesus Christ.”
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sever
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| v.切开，割开；断绝，中断 | |
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realization
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| n.实现；认识到，深刻了解 | |
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deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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wont
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| adj.习惯于；v.习惯；n.习惯 | |
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immortal
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| adj.不朽的；永生的，不死的；神的 | |
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abode
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| n.住处，住所 | |
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prone
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| adj.(to)易于…的，很可能…的；俯卧的 | |
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reverently
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| adv.虔诚地 | |
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wholesome
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| adj.适合；卫生的；有益健康的；显示身心健康的 | |
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appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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professes
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| 声称( profess的第三人称单数 )； 宣称； 公开表明； 信奉 | |
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inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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lasting
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| adj.永久的，永恒的；vbl.持续，维持 | |
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rejection
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| n.拒绝，被拒，抛弃，被弃 | |
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illustrated
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| adj. 有插图的，列举的 动词illustrate的过去式和过去分词 | |
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manliest
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| manly（有男子气概的）的最高级形式 | |
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bigotry
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| n.偏见，偏执，持偏见的行为[态度]等 | |
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ridicule
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| v.讥讽，挖苦；n.嘲弄 | |
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calumny
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| n.诽谤，污蔑，中伤 | |
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opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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chivalrous
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| adj.武士精神的；对女人彬彬有礼的 | |
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defense
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| n.防御，保卫；[pl.]防务工事；辩护，答辩 | |
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rebuke
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| v.指责，非难，斥责 [反]praise | |
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relentless
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| adj.残酷的，不留情的，无怜悯心的 | |
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hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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compassion
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| n.同情，怜悯 | |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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humble
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| adj.谦卑的，恭顺的；地位低下的；v.降低，贬低 | |
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brotherhood
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| n.兄弟般的关系，手中情谊 | |
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impurity
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| n.不洁，不纯，杂质 | |
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attainment
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| n.达到，到达；［常pl.］成就，造诣 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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delirious
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| adj.不省人事的，神智昏迷的 | |
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frailty
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| n.脆弱；意志薄弱 | |
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immediate
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| adj.立即的；直接的，最接近的；紧靠的 | |
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looms
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| n.织布机( loom的名词复数 )v.隐约出现，阴森地逼近( loom的第三人称单数 )；隐约出现，阴森地逼近 | |
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affiliation
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| n.联系，联合 | |
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expediency
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| n.适宜；方便；合算；利己 | |
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machinery
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| n.(总称)机械，机器；机构 | |
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virtues
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| 美德( virtue的名词复数 )； 德行； 优点； 长处 | |
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humility
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| n.谦逊，谦恭 | |
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afflicted
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| 使受痛苦，折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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frivolity
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| n.轻松的乐事，兴高采烈；轻浮的举止 | |
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volition
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| n.意志；决意 | |
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