Unmarried Set, yclept Loretta, emerged into the Sunlight and hit the
Concrete Path with a ringing Heel.
In the crisp introductory hours of the Wash-Day already woven into the
She went to the office of the exclusive Kennel7 Club and entered the Chow Ki-Yi for the next Bench Show. At the Clearing House for K. M.'s she filed a loud call for a Cook who could cook. Then she cashed a check, ordered a pound of Salted Nuts (to be delivered by Special Wagon8 at once), enveloped9 a ball of Ice Cream gooed with Chocolate, and soon, greatly refreshed, swept down upon a Department Store.
A Chenille Massacre10 was in full swing on the 3d floor, just between the Porch Furniture and Special Clothing for Airmen. Loretta took a run and jump into the heaving mass of the gentler Division. She came out at 10.53 with her Sky Piece badly listed to Port and her toes flattened11 out, but she was 17 cents to the Good. Three hearty12 Cheers!
So she went over to an exhibition of Paintings, breathing through her
Nose for at least an Hour as she studied the new Masterpieces of the
Swedo-Scandinavian School. Each looked as if executed with a Squirt
Gun by a Nervous Geek on his way to a Three Days Cure. Just the same,
every Visitor with a clinging Skirt and a Mushroom Hat gurgled like a
Mountain Stream.
In company with four other Seraphines, plucked from the Society Col., she toyed with a Fruit Salad and Cocoa at a Tea Room instituted by a Lady in Reduced Circumstances for the accommodation of those who are never overtaken by Hunger.
The usual Battle as to which should pick up the Check and the same old Compromise. A Dutch Treat with the Waitress trying to spread it four ways and the Auditing13 Committee watching her like a Hawk14. Then a 10- cent Tip, bestowed15 as if endowing Princeton, and the Quartet representing the Flower of America's Young Womanhood was once more out in the Ozone16, marching abreast17 with shining Faces and pushing white- haired Business Men off into the Sweepings18.
Loretta went to a place with a glass Cover on it and had herself photoed in many a striking Posture19. With the Chin tilted20 to show the full crop of Cervical Vertebrae and her Search Lights aimed yearningly21 at the top of the Singer Building, she had herself kidded into believing that she was a certified22 Replica23 of Elsie Ferguson.
As a member of the Board of Visitation she hurried out to the Colored
Mottoes.
After that she had nothing to do except fly home and complete a Paper on the Social Unrest in Spain, after which she backed into the Spangles, because Father was bringing an old Stable Companion to dinner.
In the evening she took Mother to a Travel Lecture. The colored Slides were mingled26 with St. Vitus Glimpses of swarming27 Streets and galloping29 Gee-Gees. They came home google-eyed and had to feel their way into the Domicile.
Tuesday A. M. dawned overcast30 with shifting winds from the N. E.. Loretta pried31 herself away from the third Waffle in order to hike to the corner and jack32 up Mr. Grocer about the Kindling33 Wood that he had sent them for Celery.
At 9.30 the Committee to arrange for the Summer Camp of the In-Wrong
Married Women whirled through the untidy Suburbs in a next year's
Motor Car, and Loretta was nowhere except right up on the front Seat
picking out the Road.
Once a year the Ladies of the Lumty-Tum went out with their embroidered35 Sand-Bags and swung on their Gentlemen Friends for enough Dough36 to pay the Vacation Expenses of Neglected Wives and Kiddies.
In every community there is an undiscovered Triton thoroughly37 posted on the Renaissance38 of the Reactionaries39 and the recrudescence of the Big Six Baby with the up-twist that has the Whiskers on it. This Boy is so busy regulating both Parties and both Leagues that when it comes time for his Brood to take an Outing, some ignorant Outsider has to step in and unbelt.
After letting contracts for Milk and Vegetables, Loretta and the other specimens40 of our Best People zipped over to the Country Club, breaking into silvery Laughter every time the Speedometer made a Face at the Sign-Board which said that the Speed Limit was 12 Miles an Hour.
They showed a few milk-fed Springers how to take a Joke, and then played an 18-hole Foursome which was more or less of a Grewsome.
Then a little Tea on the Terrace with Herbert lolling by in his
A buzzing sound dying off into the distance, a trail of Blue Smoke in the fading Twilight42, and little Bright Eyes is back in her own Boudoir packing herself into a new set of Glads.
Pillows.
When they began to distribute political Bromides, the artful Minx sat clear out on the edge of the Chair and let on to be simply pop-eyed with Ardor45.
Shortly after 12 she turned the last night-blooming Cyril out into the
On Wednesday morning, between the Ham and Eggs, she glanced at her double-entry Date Book and began to gyrate.
On the way down-town she stopped in and had herself measured for a new mop of hair.
Thence to the Beauty Works to have the peerless Frontispiece ironed out and the Nails ivoried.
When she appeared at the Sorority Tiffin at 1 P. M. she was dolled for fair.
The Response in behalf of the Alumnae47 of Yamma Gamma was a neat Affair. After swiping the Table Decorations, she and two Companions hurried to a Mat. It was a Performance given under the auspices48 of the Overhanging Domes49, and the Drama was one that no Commercial Manager had the Nerve to unload on the Public. The Plot consisted of two victims of Neurasthenia sitting at a Table and discussing Impaired50 Circulation.
That evening she helped administer the Anesthetic51 to a Seminary Snipe who was getting into the Life Boat with a hard-wood Bachelor grabbed off at the 11th Hour.
Loretta wept softly while straightening out the Veil, in accordance with Tradition. Later on she did an Eddie Collins and landed the Bride's Bouquet52. At 11.30 she had the Best Man backed into a Corner, slipping him that Old One about his Hair matching his Eyes.
It is now Thursday morning and who is this in the Gym whanging the
Medicine Ball at the Lady Instructor53 with the Face?
It is Loretta.
Towel.
She has climbed back into the dark-cloth Effect and is headed for the
Studio of Madam to grapple with the French Lesson.
After that she will do nothing before Lunch Time except try on White
Shoes and fondle some Hats that are being sacrificed at $80 per throw.
Brigadieress in the army of Intellectuality did the main Spiel, with
Loretta as principal Rooter.
The Speaker was there with the Pep and with the Vocabulary. Otherwise she was a Naughty-Naughty. The costume was a plain Burial Shroud56, the only Ornament57 being a 4-carat Wen just above the Neck-band.
At 4 P. M., after the Male Sex had been ground to a Hamburger, our little Playmate escaped to a Picture Show, but not until she had duly fortified58 herself with the nourishing Marshmallow.
There was nothing on the Cards that night except a Subscription59 Dance, which got under way at 10 P. M. and never subsided60 until the cold Daylight began to spill in at the Windows.
Loretta did a 27 out of a possible 29. Percentage .931—six better than Bogey61 and 400 points ahead of Ty Cobb.
Nevertheless and notwithstanding, don't imagine that she failed to come up for Air on Friday Morning.
Life is real, Life is earnest, and she had a Gown to be shortened up and re-surveyed around the Horse Shoe Curve, just as soon as she could leave the Gloves to be cleaned.
Happening into Automobile63 Row, she permitted a blond salesman with a
Norfolk Jacket to demonstrate the new type of Electric Runabout.
One of the most inexpensive pursuits of the well-dressed Minority is to glide64 over the Asphalt in a Demonstration65 Car and pretend to be undecided.
She permitted the man to set her down at a Book Shop, where she furtively66 skinned eight Magazines while waiting for a Chum to pop through the Whirligig Door.
The two went Window-Hopping for an hour. After making Mind Purchases of about $8000 worth of washable Finery edged with Lace, a spirit of Deviltry seized them.
They ordered their Lettuce67 Sandwiches and diluted68 Ceylon in a Restaurant where roguish Men-about-Town sat facing the Main Entrance to pipe the pulchritudinous69 Pippins.
Was it seven or eight Party Calls that she checked from her social
Then a swinging Gallop28 for home. Whilst she had been socializing around, Robert W. Chambers71 had taken a lead of two Novels on her. Retiring to a quiet Alcove72 with four Volumes that were being dissected73 at the drawing-room Clinics, she took a hack74 at the first and last Chapter of each. Just enough to protect her against a Fumble75 if she found herself next to a Book Sharp.
That evening a famous Hungarian Fiddler, accompanied by a warbling
Guinea Hen and backed up by sixty Symphonic Heineys wearing Spectacles,
Art.
Loretta had a sneaking79 preference for the May Irwin School of Expression, but she had to go through with the Saint-Saens Stuff now and then to maintain a Club Standing62.
Accordingly she and Mother and poor old dying Father, with no Heart in the Enterprise, were planted well down in Section B, where they could watch Mrs. Leroy Geblotz, who once entertained Nordica, and say "Bravo" at the Psychological Moment.
On Saturday Morning, after she had penned 14 Epistles, using the tall cuneiform Hieroglyphics80, she didn't have a blessed thing to do before her 1 o'clock Engagement except drop in at a Flower Show and a Cat Show and have her Palm read by a perfectly81 fascinating Serpent with a Goatee who had been telling all the Gells the most wonderful things about themselves.
A merry little Group went slumming Saturday afternoon. They attended a Ball Game. Loretta had her Chin over the Railing and evinced a keen Interest, her only Difficulty being that she never knew which Side was at bat.
At dusk she began hanging on the Family Jewels. It was a formal Dinner
Party with a list made up by Dun and Bradstreet.
Loretta found herself between an extinct Volcano of Political World and a sappy Fledgling whose Grandfather laid the cornerstone of Brooklyn.
The Dinner was one of those corpseless Funerals, stage-managed by a respectable Lady with a granite82 Front who had Mayflower Corpuscles moving majestically83 through her Arterial System.
Loretta was marooned84 so far from the Live Ones that she couldn't wig- wag for Help. Her C. Q. D. brought no Relief.
Here she tucked back her Valenciennes and proceeded to cop a little
Pin-Money at the soul-destroying game known as Bridge.
At 11.30 she led a highly connected volunteer Wine Pusher out into the Conservatory87 and told him she did not think it advisable to marry him until she had learned his First Name.
Shortly after Midnight she blew, arriving at headquarters just in time to participate in a Chafing-Dish Jubilee88 promoted by only Brother, just back from the Varsity.
She was thinking of the Night Before and of playing cards for Money.
She remembered the glare of Light for overhead and the tense, eager
Faces peering above the Paste-Boards.
Then she recalled, with a sharp catch of the Breath and a little tug90 of Pain at the Heart, that she had balled herself up at one Stage and got dummied out of a Grand Slam.
"It would have meant a long pair of the Silk Kind," thought she, as she sighed deeply and turned the cold Faucet91.
After Breakfast, she took a long Walk up the Avenue as a Bracer.
After which to the Kirk, for she taught a class of Little Girls in the Sunday School, and she had to fake up an Explanation of how Joshua made the Sun stand still, thereby92 putting herself in the Scratch Division of Explainers, believe us.
She listened to a dainty Boston Sermon, trimmed with Ruching, singing lustily before and after.
Then back home with the solemn Parade to sit among the condemned93 waiting for that superlative Gorge94 known as the Sunday Dinner.
While she was waiting, a male Friend dropped in. His costume was a compromise between an English Actor and a hired Mourner.
Matter had been referred to the proper Department.
He looked at Loretta, so calm and cool and collected in her pious96 Raiment, and the Smile that he summoned was benevolent97 and almost patronizing.
"I was wondering," said he. "I was wondering if a Girl like you ever gets tired of sitting around and doing nothing."
Loretta did not cackle. She had read in a Book by a Yale Professor that Woman is not supposed to possess the Sense of Humor.
MORAL: The Settlement Campaign is not getting to the real Workers.
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1
ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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2
ginger
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| n.姜，精力，淡赤黄色；adj.淡赤黄色的；vt.使活泼，使有生气 | |
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3
onward
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| adj.向前的，前进的；adv.向前，前进，在先 | |
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4
juggled
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| v.歪曲( juggle的过去式和过去分词 )；耍弄；有效地组织；尽力同时应付（两个或两个以上的重要工作或活动） | |
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baton
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| n.乐队用指挥杖 | |
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6
trolleyed
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| vt.&vi.载运用有轨电车运送（trolley的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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kennel
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| n.狗舍，狗窝 | |
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wagon
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| n.四轮马车，手推车，面包车；无盖运货列车 | |
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enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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massacre
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| n.残杀，大屠杀；v.残杀，集体屠杀 | |
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11
flattened
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| [医]（水）平扁的，弄平的 | |
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12
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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13
auditing
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| n.审计，查账，决算 | |
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14
hawk
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| n.鹰，骗子；鹰派成员 | |
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15
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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16
ozone
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| n.臭氧，新鲜空气 | |
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abreast
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| adv.并排地；跟上(时代)的步伐，与…并进地 | |
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18
sweepings
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| n.笼统的( sweeping的名词复数 )；（在投票等中的）大胜；影响广泛的；包罗万象的 | |
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posture
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| n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势 | |
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20
tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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yearningly
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| 怀念地，思慕地，同情地； 渴 | |
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certified
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| a.经证明合格的；具有证明文件的 | |
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replica
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| n.复制品 | |
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24
orphan
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| n.孤儿；adj.无父母的 | |
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25
asylum
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| n.避难所，庇护所，避难 | |
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26
mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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27
swarming
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| 密集( swarm的现在分词 )； 云集； 成群地移动； 蜜蜂或其他飞行昆虫成群地飞来飞去 | |
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28
gallop
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| v./n.(马或骑马等)飞奔；飞速发展 | |
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galloping
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| adj. 飞驰的, 急性的 动词gallop的现在分词形式 | |
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30
overcast
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| adj.阴天的，阴暗的，愁闷的；v.遮盖，（使）变暗，包边缝；n.覆盖，阴天 | |
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31
pried
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| v.打听，刺探（他人的私事）( pry的过去式和过去分词 )；撬开 | |
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32
jack
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| n.插座，千斤顶，男人；v.抬起，提醒，扛举；n.（Jake）杰克 | |
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33
kindling
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| n. 点火, 可燃物 动词kindle的现在分词形式 | |
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florist
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| n.花商；种花者 | |
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35
embroidered
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| adj．绣花的 | |
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dough
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| n.生面团；钱，现款 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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renaissance
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| n.复活，复兴，文艺复兴 | |
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reactionaries
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| n.反动分子，反动派( reactionary的名词复数 ) | |
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40
specimens
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| n.样品( specimen的名词复数 )；范例；（化验的）抽样；某种类型的人 | |
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41
flannels
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| 法兰绒男裤； 法兰绒( flannel的名词复数 ) | |
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42
twilight
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| n.暮光，黄昏；暮年，晚期，衰落时期 | |
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43
throbbing
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| a. 跳动的,悸动的 | |
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44
wholesale
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| n.批发；adv.以批发方式；vt.批发，成批出售 | |
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45
ardor
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| n.热情，狂热 | |
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46
graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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47
alumnae
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| n.女毕业生，女校友；女校友( alumna的名词复数 ) | |
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48
auspices
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| n.资助，赞助 | |
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49
domes
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| n.圆屋顶( dome的名词复数 )；像圆屋顶一样的东西；圆顶体育场 | |
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50
impaired
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| adj.受损的；出毛病的；有（身体或智力）缺陷的v.损害，削弱( impair的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51
anesthetic
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| n.麻醉剂，麻药；adj.麻醉的，失去知觉的 | |
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52
bouquet
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| n.花束，酒香 | |
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53
instructor
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| n.指导者，教员，教练 | |
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54
behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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55
suffrage
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| n.投票，选举权，参政权 | |
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56
shroud
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| n.裹尸布，寿衣；罩，幕；vt.覆盖，隐藏 | |
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57
ornament
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| v.装饰，美化；n.装饰，装饰物 | |
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58
fortified
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| adj. 加强的 | |
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59
subscription
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| n.预订，预订费，亲笔签名，调配法，下标（处方） | |
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60
subsided
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| v.（土地）下陷（因在地下采矿）( subside的过去式和过去分词 )；减弱；下降至较低或正常水平；一下子坐在椅子等上 | |
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61
bogey
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| n.令人谈之变色之物；妖怪，幽灵 | |
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62
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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63
automobile
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| n.汽车，机动车 | |
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64
glide
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| n./v.溜，滑行；(时间)消逝 | |
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65
demonstration
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| n.表明，示范，论证，示威 | |
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66
furtively
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| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
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67
lettuce
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| n.莴苣；生菜 | |
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68
diluted
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| 无力的，冲淡的 | |
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69
pulchritudinous
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| adj.美貌的 | |
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70
ledger
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| n.总帐，分类帐；帐簿 | |
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71
chambers
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| n.房间( chamber的名词复数 )；（议会的）议院；卧室；会议厅 | |
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72
alcove
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| n.凹室 | |
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73
dissected
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| adj.切开的，分割的，（叶子）多裂的v.解剖（动物等）( dissect的过去式和过去分词 )；仔细分析或研究 | |
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74
hack
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| n.劈，砍，出租马车；v.劈，砍，干咳 | |
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75
fumble
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| vi.笨拙地用手摸、弄、接等，摸索 | |
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recital
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| n.朗诵，独奏会，独唱会 | |
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77
mammoth
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| n.长毛象；adj.长毛象似的，巨大的 | |
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78
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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79
sneaking
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| a.秘密的，不公开的 | |
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80
hieroglyphics
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| n.pl.象形文字 | |
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81
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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82
granite
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| adj.花岗岩，花岗石 | |
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majestically
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| 雄伟地； 庄重地； 威严地； 崇高地 | |
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84
marooned
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| adj.被围困的；孤立无援的；无法脱身的 | |
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85
anguish
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| n.(尤指心灵上的)极度痛苦，烦恼 | |
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86
gambling
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| n.赌博；投机 | |
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87
conservatory
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| n.温室，音乐学院；adj.保存性的，有保存力的 | |
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88
jubilee
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| n.周年纪念；欢乐 | |
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89
porcelain
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| n.瓷；adj.瓷的，瓷制的 | |
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tug
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| v.用力拖(或拉)；苦干；n.拖；苦干；拖船 | |
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faucet
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| n.水龙头 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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93
condemned
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| adj. 被责难的, 被宣告有罪的 动词condemn的过去式和过去分词 | |
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gorge
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| n.咽喉，胃，暴食，山峡；v.塞饱，狼吞虎咽地吃 | |
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95
dictating
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| v.大声讲或读( dictate的现在分词 )；口授；支配；摆布 | |
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96
pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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97
benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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