VII. CONFINEMENT

 Baron¹ Fran?ois des Ygrées left Munich when the baroness² knew that the hour of delivery was approaching. Monsieur des Ygrées did not want to have a child born in Bavaria; he was sure that that country was overrun with syphilis.

They arrived in the springtime, in the little port of Napoule, which in an excellently turned verse the baron baptised for eternity³:

Napoule of the golden skies.

It was there that the delivery of Macarée's child took place.

* * *

"Ah! Ah! Aie! Aie! Aie! Ouh! Ouh! Whee-ee-ee!"

The three local midwives took to improvising⁴ pleasantly:

FIRST MIDWIFE

I dream of war.

O my friends, the stars, the bright stars, have you ever counted them?

O my friends, do you even remember the titles of all the books you have read and the names of their authors?

O my friends, have you ever thought of the poor men who tread the broad highways?

The herdsmen of the golden age led their herds⁵ to pasture without fear that the cattle would flee, they feared only the jungle beasts.

O my friends, what do you think of all these cannons⁶?

SECOND MIDWIFE

What do I think of these cannons? They are vigorous phalli.

O my beautiful nights! I am happy because of a sinister⁷ horn which enchanted⁸ me last night, 'tis a good augury⁹. My hair is perfumed with abelmosch.

O! the beautiful and rigid¹⁰ phalli that these cannons are! If women had to do military service they would all go into the artillery¹¹. The sight of the cannons in battle would be strange for them.

Lights are born on the sea far off.

Reply, o Zelotide, reply with thy sweet voice.

THIRD MIDWIFE

I love his eyes at night, he knows my hair well and its odour. In the streets of Marseilles an officer pursued me for a long time. He was well dressed and of fair colour, there was gold on his costume and his mouth tempted¹² me, but I fled his kisses and took refuge in my "bedroom" of the "family-house" where I was stopping.[2]

FIRST MIDWIFE

O Zelotide, spare the sad men as thou sparest this beau. Zelotide what thinkest thou of the cannons.

SECOND MIDWIFE

Alas¹³! Alas! I want to be loved.

THIRD MIDWIFE

They are the tools of the ignoble¹⁴ love of the people. O Sodom! Sodom. O sterile¹⁵ love!

FIRST MIDWIFE

But we are women, why dost thou speak of Sodom?

THIRD MIDWIFE

The fire of heaven devoured¹⁶ her.

THE CONFINED

When you have finished your monkey-tricks, if it please you, will you not forget to give a little attention to the baroness des Ygrées.

* * *

The baron slept in a corner of the room on several travelling blankets. He made a fart which caused his better half to laugh until the tears came. Macarée wept, cried, laughed and a few moments later brought into the world a sturdy child of the male sex. Then, exhausted¹⁷ by these efforts, she rendered up her soul, with a scream that was like the ululation of the eternal first wife of Adam, when she crossed the Red Sea.

In reporting the above, I believe that I have elucidated¹⁸ the important question of the birthplace of Croniamantal. Let the 123 towns in 7 countries dispute the honor of his birth.[3]

We know now, and the state records bear testimony¹⁹ that he was born of the paternal²⁰ fart at Napoule of the golden skies, on the 25th of August, 1889, but not announced at the mayoralty until the following morning.[4]

It was the year of the Universal Exposition, and the Eiffel Tower, which was just born, saluted²¹ the heroic birth of Croniamantal with a beautiful erection.

The baron des Ygrées made another fart which woke him by the macabre²² bed where the corpse²³ of Macarée reclined. The child cried, the midwives croaked²⁴, the father sobbed²⁵, and declaimed:

"Ah, Napoule with the golden skies, I have killed my hen with the golden eyes!"

Then he bathed the new-born calling him by a name which he invented forthwith and which did not belong to any saint in Paradise: CRONIAMANTAL. He left on the following day, having arranged for the funeral of his spouse²⁶, written the necessary letters assuring his inheritance, and announced the child under the names of Ga?tan—Francis—Etienne—Jack—Amélie—Alonso des Ygrées. And with this nursling whose putative²⁷ father he was, he took the train for the Principality of Monaco.

1 baron   

n.男爵；(商业界等)巨头，大王

参考例句：

• Henry Ford was an automobile baron.亨利·福特是一位汽车业巨头。
• The baron lived in a strong castle.男爵住在一座坚固的城堡中。

2 baroness   

n.男爵夫人，女男爵

参考例句：

• I'm sure the Baroness will be able to make things fine for you.我相信男爵夫人能够把家里的事替你安排妥当的。
• The baroness,who had signed,returned the pen to the notary.男爵夫人这时已签过字，把笔交回给律师。

3 eternity   

n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷

参考例句：

• The dull play seemed to last an eternity.这场乏味的剧似乎演个没完没了。
• Finally,Ying Tai and Shan Bo could be together for all of eternity.英台和山伯终能双宿双飞，永世相随。

4 improvising   

即兴创作（improvise的现在分词形式）

参考例句：

• I knew he was improvising, an old habit of his. 我知道他是在即兴发挥，这是他的老习惯。
• A few lecturers have been improvising to catch up. 部分讲师被临时抽调以救急。

5 herds   

兽群( herd的名词复数 )； 牧群； 人群； 群众

参考例句：

• Regularly at daybreak they drive their herds to the pasture. 每天天一亮他们就把牲畜赶到草场上去。
• There we saw herds of cows grazing on the pasture. 我们在那里看到一群群的牛在草地上吃草。

6 cannons   

n.加农炮，大炮，火炮( cannon的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Cannons bombarded enemy lines. 大炮轰击了敌军阵地。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• One company had been furnished with six cannons. 某连队装备了六门大炮。 来自《简明英汉词典》

7 sinister   

adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的

参考例句：

• There is something sinister at the back of that series of crimes.在这一系列罪行背后有险恶的阴谋。
• Their proposals are all worthless and designed out of sinister motives.他们的建议不仅一钱不值，而且包藏祸心。

8 enchanted   

adj. 被施魔法的，陶醉的，入迷的 动词enchant的过去式和过去分词

参考例句：

• She was enchanted by the flowers you sent her. 她非常喜欢你送给她的花。
• He was enchanted by the idea. 他为这个主意而欣喜若狂。

9 augury   

n.预言，征兆，占卦

参考例句：

• Augury is the important part of Chinese traditional culture.占卜是中国传统文化中的一个重要组成部分。
• The maritime passage was a good augury for the aerial passage.顺利的航海仿佛也是航空的好预兆。

10 rigid   

adj.严格的，死板的；刚硬的，僵硬的

参考例句：

• She became as rigid as adamant.她变得如顽石般的固执。
• The examination was so rigid that nearly all aspirants were ruled out.考试很严，几乎所有的考生都被淘汰了。

11 artillery   

n.(军)火炮，大炮；炮兵(部队)

参考例句：

• This is a heavy artillery piece.这是一门重炮。
• The artillery has more firepower than the infantry.炮兵火力比步兵大。

12 tempted   

v.怂恿（某人）干不正当的事；冒…的险（tempt的过去分词）

参考例句：

• I was sorely tempted to complain, but I didn't. 我极想发牢骚，但还是没开口。
• I was tempted by the dessert menu. 甜食菜单馋得我垂涎欲滴。

13 alas   

int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)

参考例句：

• Alas!The window is broken!哎呀！窗子破了！
• Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而，真理很少带有浪漫色彩。

14 ignoble   

adj.不光彩的，卑鄙的；可耻的

参考例句：

• There's something cowardly and ignoble about such an attitude.这种态度有点怯懦可鄙。
• Some very great men have come from ignoble families.有些伟人出身低微。

15 sterile   

adj.不毛的，不孕的，无菌的，枯燥的，贫瘠的

参考例句：

• This top fits over the bottle and keeps the teat sterile.这个盖子严实地盖在奶瓶上，保持奶嘴无菌。
• The farmers turned the sterile land into high fields.农民们把不毛之地变成了高产田。

16 devoured   

吞没( devour的过去式和过去分词 )； 耗尽； 津津有味地看； 狼吞虎咽地吃光

参考例句：

• She devoured everything she could lay her hands on: books, magazines and newspapers. 无论是书、杂志，还是报纸，只要能弄得到，她都看得津津有味。
• The lions devoured a zebra in a short time. 狮子一会儿就吃掉了一匹斑马。

17 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

18 elucidated   

v.阐明，解释( elucidate的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• He elucidated a point of grammar. 他解释了一个语法要点。
• The scientist elucidated his theory by three simple demonstrations. 这位科学家以三个简单的实例来说明他的理论。 来自《简明英汉词典》

19 testimony   

n.证词；见证，证明

参考例句：

• The testimony given by him is dubious.他所作的证据是可疑的。
• He was called in to bear testimony to what the police officer said.他被传入为警官所说的话作证。

20 paternal   

adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的

参考例句：

• I was brought up by my paternal aunt.我是姑姑扶养大的。
• My father wrote me a letter full of his paternal love for me.我父亲给我写了一封充满父爱的信。

21 saluted   

v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂

参考例句：

• The sergeant stood to attention and saluted. 中士立正敬礼。
• He saluted his friends with a wave of the hand. 他挥手向他的朋友致意。 来自《简明英汉词典》

22 macabre   

adj.骇人的，可怖的

参考例句：

• He takes a macabre interest in graveyards.他那么留意墓地，令人毛骨悚然。
• Mr Dahl was well-known for his macabre adult stories called 'Tales of the Unexpected'.达尔先生以成人恐怖小说集《意料之外的故事》闻名于世。

23 corpse   

n.尸体，死尸

参考例句：

• What she saw was just an unfeeling corpse.她见到的只是一具全无感觉的尸体。
• The corpse was preserved from decay by embalming.尸体用香料涂抹以防腐烂。

24 croaked   

v.呱呱地叫( croak的过去式和过去分词 )；用粗的声音说

参考例句：

• The crow croaked disaster. 乌鸦呱呱叫预报灾难。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
• 'she has a fine head for it," croaked Jacques Three. “她有一个漂亮的脑袋跟着去呢，”雅克三号低沉地说。 来自英汉文学 - 双城记

25 sobbed   

哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说

参考例句：

• She sobbed out the story of her son's death. 她哭诉着她儿子的死。
• She sobbed out the sad story of her son's death. 她哽咽着诉说她儿子死去的悲惨经过。

26 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

27 putative   

adj.假定的

参考例句：

• There have been many attempts to track down the putative Loch Ness monster.人们为追踪假定存在的尼斯湖水怪做了许多努力。
• He is the putative father of this child.他是这孩子的推定的父亲。