“If you please, I am here to conduct you to prison.”
“Ah,” says the student, “I was not expecting it. What have I been doing?”
“Two weeks ago the public peace had the honor to be disturbed by you.”
“It is true; I had forgotten it. Very well: I have been complained of, tried, and found guilty—is that it?”
“Exactly. You are sentenced to two days’ solitary9 confinement10 in the College prison, and I am sent to fetch you.”
STUDENT. “O, I can’t go today.”
OFFICER. “If you please—why?”
STUDENT. “Because I’ve got an engagement.”
OFFICER. “Tomorrow, then, perhaps?”
STUDENT. “No, I am going to the opera, tomorrow.”
OFFICER. “Could you come Friday?”
STUDENT. (Reflectively.) “Let me see—Friday—Friday. I don’t seem to have anything on hand Friday.”
OFFICER. “Then, if you please, I will expect you on Friday.”
STUDENT. “All right, I’ll come around Friday.”
OFFICER. “Thank you. Good day, sir.”
STUDENT. “Good day.”
So on Friday the student goes to the prison of his own accord, and is admitted.
It is questionable11 if the world’s criminal history can show a custom more odd than this. Nobody knows, now, how it originated. There have always been many noblemen among the students, and it is presumed that all students are gentlemen; in the old times it was usual to mar12 the convenience of such folk as little as possible; perhaps this indulgent custom owes its origin to this.
One day I was listening to some conversation upon this subject when an American student said that for some time he had been under sentence for a slight breach13 of the peace and had promised the constable that he would presently find an unoccupied day and betake himself to prison. I asked the young gentleman to do me the kindness to go to jail as soon as he conveniently could, so that I might try to get in there and visit him, and see what college captivity14 was like. He said he would appoint the very first day he could spare.
His confinement was to endure twenty-four hours. He shortly chose his day, and sent me word. I started immediately. When I reached the University Place, I saw two gentlemen talking together, and, as they had portfolios15 under their arms, I judged they were tutors or elderly students; so I asked them in English to show me the college jail. I had learned to take it for granted that anybody in Germany who knows anything, knows English, so I had stopped afflicting16 people with my German. These gentlemen seemed a trifle amused—and a trifle confused, too—but one of them said he would walk around the corner with me and show me the place. He asked me why I wanted to get in there, and I said to see a friend—and for curiosity. He doubted if I would be admitted, but volunteered to put in a word or two for me with the custodian17.
He rang the bell, a door opened, and we stepped into a paved way and then up into a small living-room, where we were received by a hearty18 and good-natured German woman of fifty. She threw up her hands with a surprised “ach Gott, Herr Professor!” and exhibited a mighty19 deference20 for my new acquaintance. By the sparkle in her eye I judged she was a good deal amused, too. The “Herr Professor” talked to her in German, and I understood enough of it to know that he was bringing very plausible21 reasons to bear for admitting me. They were successful. So the Herr Professor received my earnest thanks and departed. The old dame22 got her keys, took me up two or three flights of stairs, unlocked a door, and we stood in the presence of the criminal. Then she went into a jolly and eager description of all that had occurred downstairs, and what the Herr Professor had said, and so forth23 and so on. Plainly, she regarded it as quite a superior joke that I had waylaid24 a Professor and employed him in so odd a service. But I wouldn’t have done it if I had known he was a Professor; therefore my conscience was not disturbed.
Now the dame left us to ourselves. The cell was not a roomy one; still it was a little larger than an ordinary prison cell. It had a window of good size, iron-grated; a small stove; two wooden chairs; two oaken tables, very old and most elaborately carved with names, mottoes, faces, armorial bearings, etc.—the work of several generations of imprisoned25 students; and a narrow wooden bedstead with a villainous straw mattress26, but no sheets, pillows, blankets, or coverlets—for these the student must furnish at his own cost if he wants them. There was no carpet, of course.
The ceiling was completely covered with names, dates, and monograms27, done with candle-smoke. The walls were thickly covered with pictures and portraits (in profile), some done with ink, some with soot28, some with a pencil, and some with red, blue, and green chalks; and whenever an inch or two of space had remained between the pictures, the captives had written plaintive29 verses, or names and dates. I do not think I was ever in a more elaborately frescoed30 apartment.
Against the wall hung a placard containing the prison laws. I made a note of one or two of these. For instance: The prisoner must pay, for the “privilege” of entering, a sum equivalent to 20 cents of our money; for the privilege of leaving, when his term had expired, 20 cents; for every day spent in the prison, 12 cents; for fire and light, 12 cents a day. The jailer furnishes coffee, mornings, for a small sum; dinners and suppers may be ordered from outside if the prisoner chooses—and he is allowed to pay for them, too.
Here and there, on the walls, appeared the names of American students, and in one place the American arms and motto were displayed in colored chalks.
With the help of my friend I translated many of the inscriptions32.
“In my tenth semester (my best one), I am cast here through the complaints of others. Let those who follow me take warning.”
“III Tage Ohne Grund Angeblich Aus Neugierde.” Which is to say, he had a curiosity to know what prison life was like; so he made a breach in some law and got three days for it. It is more than likely that he never had the same curiosity again.
(Translation.) “E. Glinicke, four days for being too eager a spectator of a row.”
“F. Graf Bismarck—27-29, II, ‘74.” Which means that Count Bismarck, son of the great statesman, was a prisoner two days in 1874.
(Translation.) “R. Diergandt—for Love—4 days.” Many people in this world have caught it heavier than for the same indiscretion.
“Four weeks for misinterpreted gallantry.” I wish the sufferer had explained a little more fully35. A four-week term is a rather serious matter.
There were many uncomplimentary references, on the walls, to a certain unpopular dignitary. One sufferer had got three days for not saluting36 him. Another had “here two days slept and three nights lain awake,” on account of this same “Dr. K.” In one place was a picture of Dr. K. hanging on a gallows37.
Here and there, lonesome prisoners had eased the heavy time by altering the records left by predecessors38. Leaving the name standing39, and the date and length of the captivity, they had erased40 the description of the misdemeanor, and written in its place, in staring capitals, “FOR THEFT!” or “FOR MURDER!” or some other gaudy41 crime. In one place, all by itself, stood this blood-curdling word:
“Rache!” [1]
1. “Revenge!”
There was no name signed, and no date. It was an inscription31 well calculated to pique42 curiosity. One would greatly like to know the nature of the wrong that had been done, and what sort of vengeance43 was wanted, and whether the prisoner ever achieved it or not. But there was no way of finding out these things.
Occasionally, a name was followed simply by the remark, “II days, for disturbing the peace,” and without comment upon the justice or injustice44 of the sentence.
In one place was a hilarious45 picture of a student of the green cap corps46 with a bottle of champagne47 in each hand; and below was the legend: “These make an evil fate endurable.”
There were two prison cells, and neither had space left on walls or ceiling for another name or portrait or picture. The inside surfaces of the two doors were completely covered with Cartes De Visite of former prisoners, ingeniously let into the wood and protected from dirt and injury by glass.
I very much wanted one of the sorry old tables which the prisoners had spent so many years in ornamenting48 with their pocket-knives, but red tape was in the way. The custodian could not sell one without an order from a superior; and that superior would have to get it from his superior; and this one would have to get it from a higher one—and so on up and up until the faculty49 should sit on the matter and deliver final judgment. The system was right, and nobody could find fault with it; but it did not seem justifiable50 to bother so many people, so I proceeded no further. It might have cost me more than I could afford, anyway; for one of those prison tables, which was at the time in a private museum in Heidelberg, was afterward51 sold at auction52 for two hundred and fifty dollars. It was not worth more than a dollar, or possibly a dollar and half, before the captive students began their work on it. Persons who saw it at the auction said it was so curiously53 and wonderfully carved that it was worth the money that was paid for it.
Among them many who have tasted the college prison’s dreary54 hospitality was a lively young fellow from one of the Southern states of America, whose first year’s experience of German university life was rather peculiar55. The day he arrived in Heidelberg he enrolled56 his name on the college books, and was so elated with the fact that his dearest hope had found fruition and he was actually a student of the old and renowned57 university, that he set to work that very night to celebrate the event by a grand lark58 in company with some other students. In the course of his lark he managed to make a wide breach in one of the university’s most stringent59 laws. Sequel: before noon, next day, he was in the college prison—booked for three months. The twelve long weeks dragged slowly by, and the day of deliverance came at last. A great crowd of sympathizing fellow-students received him with a rousing demonstration60 as he came forth, and of course there was another grand lark—in the course of which he managed to make a wide breach of the city’s most stringent laws. Sequel: before noon, next day, he was safe in the city lockup—booked for three months. This second tedious captivity drew to an end in the course of time, and again a great crowd of sympathizing fellow students gave him a rousing reception as he came forth; but his delight in his freedom was so boundless61 that he could not proceed soberly and calmly, but must go hopping62 and skipping and jumping down the sleety63 street from sheer excess of joy. Sequel: he slipped and broke his leg, and actually lay in the hospital during the next three months!
When he at last became a free man again, he said he believed he would hunt up a brisker seat of learning; the Heidelberg lectures might be good, but the opportunities of attending them were too rare, the educational process too slow; he said he had come to Europe with the idea that the acquirement of an education was only a matter of time, but if he had averaged the Heidelberg system correctly, it was rather a matter of eternity64.
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1
offender
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| n.冒犯者，违反者，犯罪者 | |
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offense
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| n.犯规，违法行为；冒犯，得罪 | |
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jurisdiction
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| n.司法权，审判权，管辖权，控制权 | |
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judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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imprisonment
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| n.关押，监禁，坐牢 | |
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7
constable
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| n.(英国)警察，警官 | |
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8
lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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questionable
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| adj.可疑的，有问题的 | |
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mar
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| vt.破坏，毁坏，弄糟 | |
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breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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captivity
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| n.囚禁；被俘；束缚 | |
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15
portfolios
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| n.投资组合( portfolio的名词复数 )；（保险）业务量；（公司或机构提供的）系列产品；纸夹 | |
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16
afflicting
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| 痛苦的 | |
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custodian
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| n.保管人，监护人；公共建筑看守 | |
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18
hearty
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| adj.热情友好的；衷心的；尽情的，纵情的 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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plausible
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| adj.似真实的，似乎有理的，似乎可信的 | |
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dame
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| n.女士 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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waylaid
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| v.拦截，拦路( waylay的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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imprisoned
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| 下狱，监禁( imprison的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mattress
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| n.床垫，床褥 | |
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monograms
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| n.字母组合( monogram的名词复数 ) | |
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soot
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| n.煤烟，烟尘；vt.熏以煤烟 | |
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plaintive
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| adj.可怜的，伤心的 | |
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frescoed
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| 壁画( fresco的名词复数 )； 温壁画技法，湿壁画 | |
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inscription
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| n.（尤指石块上的）刻印文字，铭文，碑文 | |
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inscriptions
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| （作者）题词( inscription的名词复数 )； 献词； 碑文； 证劵持有人的登记 | |
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specimens
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| n.样品( specimen的名词复数 )；范例；（化验的）抽样；某种类型的人 | |
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terse
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| adj.(说话，文笔)精炼的，简明的 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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saluting
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的现在分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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gallows
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| n.绞刑架，绞台 | |
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predecessors
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| n.前任( predecessor的名词复数 )；前辈；（被取代的）原有事物；前身 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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erased
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| v.擦掉( erase的过去式和过去分词 )；抹去；清除 | |
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gaudy
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| adj.华而不实的；俗丽的 | |
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pique
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| v.伤害…的自尊心，使生气 n.不满，生气 | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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44
injustice
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| n.非正义，不公正，不公平，侵犯（别人的）权利 | |
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45
hilarious
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| adj.充满笑声的，欢闹的；[反]depressed | |
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46
corps
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| n.(通信等兵种的)部队；(同类作的)一组 | |
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47
champagne
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| n.香槟酒；微黄色 | |
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ornamenting
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| v.装饰，点缀，美化( ornament的现在分词 ) | |
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faculty
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| n.才能；学院，系；(学院或系的)全体教学人员 | |
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50
justifiable
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| adj.有理由的，无可非议的 | |
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51
afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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52
auction
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| n.拍卖；拍卖会；vt.拍卖 | |
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53
curiously
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| adv.有求知欲地；好问地；奇特地 | |
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54
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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56
enrolled
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| adj.入学登记了的v.[亦作enrol]( enroll的过去式和过去分词 )；登记，招收，使入伍（或入会、入学等），参加，成为成员；记入名册；卷起，包起 | |
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57
renowned
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| adj.著名的，有名望的，声誉鹊起的 | |
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58
lark
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| n.云雀，百灵鸟；n.嬉戏，玩笑；vi.嬉戏 | |
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59
stringent
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| adj.严厉的；令人信服的；银根紧的 | |
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60
demonstration
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| n.表明，示范，论证，示威 | |
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boundless
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| adj.无限的；无边无际的；巨大的 | |
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hopping
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| n. 跳跃 动词hop的现在分词形式 | |
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sleety
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| 雨夹雪的，下雨雪的 | |
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eternity
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| n.不朽，来世；永恒，无穷 | |
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