Chapter 27

When he next went to the hospital for the annual checkup on his carotids, the sonogram revealed that the second carotid was now seriously obstructed¹ and required surgery. This would make the seventh year in a row that he would have been hospitalized. The news gave him a jolt³ — particularly as he'd heard by phone that morning of Ezra Pollock's death — but at least he would have the same vascular⁴ surgeon and the operation in the same hospital, and this time he would know enough not to put up with a local anesthetic⁵ and instead to ask to be unconscious throughout. He tried so hard to convince himself from the experience of the first carotid surgery that there was nothing to worry about, he did not bother to tell Nancy about the pending⁶ operation, especially while she still had her mother to tend to. He did, however, make a determined⁷ effort to locate Maureen Mrazek, though within only hours he had exhausted⁸ any clues he might have had to her whereabouts.

That left Howie, whom by then he hadn't phoned in some time. It was as though once their parents were long dead all sorts of impulses previously⁹ proscribed¹⁰ or just nonexistent had been loosed in him, and his giving vent² to them, in a sick man's rage — in the rage and despair of a joyless sick man unable to steer¹¹ clear of prolonged illness's deadliest trap, the contortion¹² of one's character — had destroyed the last link to the dearest people he'd known. His first love affair had been with his brother. The one solid thing throughout his life had been his admiration¹³ for this very good man. He'd made a mess of all his marriages, but throughout their adult lives he and his brother had been truly constant. Howie never had to be asked for anything. And now he'd lost him, and in the same way he'd lost Phoebe — by doing it to himself. As if there weren't already fewer and fewer people present who meant anything to him, he had completed the decomposition¹⁴ of the original family. But decomposing¹⁵ families was his specialty¹⁶. Hadn't he robbed three children of a coherent childhood and the continuous loving protection of a father such as he himself had cherished, who had belonged exclusively to him and Howie, a father they and no one else had owned?

At the realization¹⁷ of all he'd wiped out, on his own and for seemingly no good reason, and what was still worse, against his every intention, against his will — of his harshness toward a brother who had never once been harsh to him, who'd never failed to soothe¹⁸ him and come to his aid, of the effect his leaving their households had had on his children — at the humiliating realization that not only physically¹⁹ had he now diminished into someone he did not want to be, he began striking his chest with his fist, striking in cadence²⁰ with his self-admonition, and missing by mere²¹ inches his defibrillator. At that moment, he knew far better than Randy or Lonny ever could where he was insufficient²². This ordinarily even-tempered man struck furiously at his heart like some fanatic²³ at prayer, and, assailed²⁴ by remorse²⁵ not just for this mistake but for all his mistakes, all the ineradicable, stupid, inescapable mistakes — swept away by the misery²⁶ of his limitations yet acting²⁷ as if life's every incomprehensible contingency²⁸ were of his making — he said aloud, "Without even Howie! To wind up like this, without even him!"

At Howie's ranch²⁹ in Santa Barbara there was a comfortable guest cottage nearly as large as his condo. Years back he, Phoebe, and Nancy had stayed there for two weeks one summer while Howie and his family were vacationing in Europe. The pool was just outside the door, and Howie's horses were off in the hills, and the staff had made their meals and looked after them. Last he knew, one of Howie's kids — Steve, the oceanographer — was temporarily living there with a girlfriend. Did he dare to ask? Could he come right out and tell his brother that he'd like to stay at the guest house for a couple of months until he could figure out where and how to live next? If he could fly out to California after the surgery and enjoy his brother's company while beginning to recover…

He picked up the phone and dialed Howie. He got an answering machine and left his name and number. About an hour later he was called by Howie's youngest son, Rob. "My folks," Rob said, "are in Tibet." "Tibet? What are they doing in Tibet?" He believed they were in Santa Barbara and Howie just didn't want to take his call. "Dad went on business to Hong Kong, I believe to a board meeting, and my mother went with him. Then they went off to see Tibet." "Are Westerners allowed in Tibet?" he asked his nephew. "Oh, sure," Rob said. "They'll be gone another three weeks. Is there a message? I can e-mail them. That's what I've been doing when people call." "No, no need," he said. "How are all your brothers, Rob?" "Everybody's doing okay. How about you?" "I'm coming along," he said, and hung up.

1 obstructed   

阻塞( obstruct的过去式和过去分词 )； 堵塞； 阻碍； 阻止

参考例句：

• Tall trees obstructed his view of the road. 有大树挡着，他看不到道路。
• The Irish and Bristol Channels were closed or grievously obstructed. 爱尔兰海峡和布里斯托尔海峡或遭受封锁，或受到了严重阻碍。

2 vent   

n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄

参考例句：

• He gave vent to his anger by swearing loudly.他高声咒骂以发泄他的愤怒。
• When the vent became plugged,the engine would stop.当通风口被堵塞时，发动机就会停转。

3 jolt   

v.（使）摇动，（使）震动，（使）颠簸

参考例句：

• We were worried that one tiny jolt could worsen her injuries.我们担心稍微颠簸一下就可能会使她的伤势恶化。
• They were working frantically in the fear that an aftershock would jolt the house again.他们拼命地干着，担心余震可能会使房子再次受到震动。

4 vascular   

adj.血管的，脉管的

参考例句：

• The mechanism of this anomalous vascular response is unknown.此种不规则的血管反应的机制尚不清楚。
• The vascular changes interfere with diffusion of nutrients from plasma into adjacent perivascular tissue and cells.这些血管变化干扰了营养物质从血浆中向血管周围邻接的组织和细胞扩散。

5 anesthetic   

n.麻醉剂，麻药；adj.麻醉的，失去知觉的

参考例句：

• He was given a general anesthetic.他被全身麻醉。
• He was still under the influence of the anesthetic.他仍处在麻醉状态。

6 pending   

prep.直到，等待…期间；adj.待定的；迫近的

参考例句：

• The lawsuit is still pending in the state court.这案子仍在州法庭等待定夺。
• He knew my examination was pending.他知道我就要考试了。

7 determined   

adj.坚定的；有决心的

参考例句：

• I have determined on going to Tibet after graduation.我已决定毕业后去西藏。
• He determined to view the rooms behind the office.他决定查看一下办公室后面的房间。

8 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

9 previously   

adv.以前，先前（地）

参考例句：

• The bicycle tyre blew out at a previously damaged point.自行车胎在以前损坏过的地方又爆开了。
• Let me digress for a moment and explain what had happened previously.让我岔开一会儿，解释原先发生了什么。

10 proscribed   

v.正式宣布（某事物）有危险或被禁止( proscribe的过去式和过去分词 )

参考例句：

• They are proscribed by federal law from owning guns. 根据联邦法律的规定，他们不准拥有枪支。 来自辞典例句
• In earlier days, the church proscribed dancing and cardplaying. 从前，教会禁止跳舞和玩牌。 来自辞典例句

11 steer   

vt.驾驶，为…操舵；引导；vi.驾驶

参考例句：

• If you push the car, I'll steer it.如果你来推车，我就来驾车。
• It's no use trying to steer the boy into a course of action that suits you.想说服这孩子按你的方式行事是徒劳的。

12 contortion   

n.扭弯，扭歪，曲解

参考例句：

• I had to admire the contortions of the gymnasts.我不得不为这些体操运动员们高难度的扭体动作而赞叹。
• This sentence was spoken with the bitterness of self-upbraiding,and a contortion of visage absolutely demoniacal.这话是用辛辣的自我谴责的口吻说出来的，说话时他的面孔也歪扭得象个地道的魔鬼。

13 admiration   

n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕

参考例句：

• He was lost in admiration of the beauty of the scene.他对风景之美赞不绝口。
• We have a great admiration for the gold medalists.我们对金牌获得者极为敬佩。

14 decomposition   

n. 分解, 腐烂, 崩溃

参考例句：

• It is said that the magnetite was formed by a chemical process called thermal decomposition. 据说这枚陨星是在热分解的化学过程中形成的。
• The dehydration process leads to fairly extensive decomposition of the product. 脱水过程会导致产物相当程度的分解。

15 decomposing   

腐烂( decompose的现在分词 )； （使）分解； 分解（某物质、光线等）

参考例句：

• The air was filled with the overpowering stench of decomposing vegetation. 空气中充满了令人难以忍受的腐烂植物的恶臭。
• Heat was obtained from decomposing manures and hot air flues. 靠肥料分解和烟道为植物提供热量。

16 specialty   

n.(speciality)特性，特质；专业，专长

参考例句：

• Shell carvings are a specialty of the town.贝雕是该城的特产。
• His specialty is English literature.他的专业是英国文学。

17 realization   

n.实现；认识到，深刻了解

参考例句：

• We shall gladly lend every effort in our power toward its realization.我们将乐意为它的实现而竭尽全力。
• He came to the realization that he would never make a good teacher.他逐渐认识到自己永远不会成为好老师。

18 soothe   

v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承

参考例句：

• I've managed to soothe him down a bit.我想方设法使他平静了一点。
• This medicine should soothe your sore throat.这种药会减轻你的喉痛。

19 physically   

adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律

参考例句：

• He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服，心绪也很乱。
• Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。

20 cadence   

n.（说话声调的）抑扬顿挫

参考例句：

• He delivered his words in slow,measured cadences.他讲话缓慢而抑扬顿挫、把握有度。
• He liked the relaxed cadence of his retired life.他喜欢退休生活的悠闲的节奏。

21 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。

22 insufficient   

adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的

参考例句：

• There was insufficient evidence to convict him.没有足够证据给他定罪。
• In their day scientific knowledge was insufficient to settle the matter.在他们的时代，科学知识还不能足以解决这些问题。

23 fanatic   

n.狂热者，入迷者；adj.狂热入迷的

参考例句：

• Alexander is a football fanatic.亚历山大是个足球迷。
• I am not a religious fanatic but I am a Christian.我不是宗教狂热分子，但我是基督徒。

24 assailed   

v.攻击( assail的过去式和过去分词 )；困扰；质问；毅然应对

参考例句：

• He was assailed with fierce blows to the head. 他的头遭到猛烈殴打。
• He has been assailed by bad breaks all these years. 这些年来他接二连三地倒霉。 来自《用法词典》

25 remorse   

n.痛恨，悔恨，自责

参考例句：

• She had no remorse about what she had said.她对所说的话不后悔。
• He has shown no remorse for his actions.他对自己的行为没有任何悔恨之意。

26 misery   

n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦

参考例句：

• Business depression usually causes misery among the working class.商业不景气常使工薪阶层受苦。
• He has rescued me from the mire of misery.他把我从苦海里救了出来。

27 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。

28 contingency   

n.意外事件，可能性

参考例句：

• We should be prepared for any contingency.我们应该对任何应急情况有所准备。
• A fire in our warehouse was a contingency that we had not expected.库房的一场大火是我们始料未及的。

29 ranch   

n.大牧场，大农场

参考例句：

• He went to work on a ranch.他去一个大农场干活。
• The ranch is in the middle of a large plateau.该牧场位于一个辽阔高原的中部。