Mr. Carteret had missed his daughter, in his quiet way, and had occasionally experienced something which approached remorse2 during her absence, when he pondered on the probabilities of her fate, and found himself forced to remember how different it might have been had he "looked after" the motherless girl a little more closely, had he extended some more sympathy to her and exerted himself to understand her, instead of confining his fatherly-fondness to occasional petting and careful avoidance of being bored by her.
Mr. Carteret was easily reconciled to most things, but he had never succeeded in reconciling himself thoroughly3 to Margaret's marriage and her exile, and he heard of her return with equal pleasure and relief. These feelings expanded into positive joy when he learned the delightful4 fact of Godfrey Hungerford's death.
In the first vague apprehension5 of James Dugdale's news, he had imagined that Margaret had left her husband and come home, and even that he hailed with satisfaction. But to know that his son-in-law was safely dead was an element of unmitigated good fortune in the matter. And so strongly and unaffectedly did Mr. Carteret feel this, that he departed from his usual mild method of speech on the occasion, and delivered himself of some very strong language indeed.
"The infernal scoundrel!" he said; "he made her miserable6, I've no doubt. She'll never tell us anything about it, James, if I am not much mistaken in her, or she is not very much changed; and so much the better. I don't want to hear anything about him; I should like to think I should never hear his name mentioned again as long as I live!"
"Most likely you never will hear it mentioned, sir," said James. "If you like, I'll tell Margaret you would rather she did not talk about him."
"Do, do," said Mr. Carteret eagerly. He hated explanations, and would never encounter anything he disliked if he could at all decently avoid doing so. "The only good or pleasant thing that could be heard in connection with the fellow, I heard when you told me he was under the sod, and there is no use in hearing bad and unpleasant things. Of course, the child knows she is welcome home; and the very best thing she can do is to forget the scoundrel ever existed."
The ignorance of human nature, and the oblivion of his wife's peculiarities7, which this speech betrayed, were equally characteristic of Mr. Carteret; but James Dugdale could not smile at them when Margaret was concerned.
He determined8 to say nothing to the young widow's father about her expressed resolution of leaving Chayleigh again, but to abandon that issue to circumstances and the success of the mode of argument he intended to pursue with Mrs. Carteret. He would go and fetch Margaret home presently, when he had spoken to his cousin. He thought it better her father should not accompany him, and Mr. Carteret, who had some very choice beetles10 to unpack11 and prepare, thought so too.
He delightedly anticipated Margaret's pleasure in exploring the extended treasures of his collection, and was altogether in such an elated state of mind that he had consigned12 the whole of Margaret's married life as completely to oblivion as he had forgotten the partner of that great disaster, by the time James Dugdale passed before the windows of his study on his way to fulfil his mission of peace and reconciliation13.
It never occurred to him to think about how his wife was likely to take the news of Margaret's return. Mrs. Carteret had not given him any trouble herself, or permitted other people to give him any trouble, since Margaret and Haldane had gone their own way in life, and he was not afraid of her departing now from that excellent rule of conduct.
"Margaret is not a child now, and they are sure to get on together," said the mild and inexperienced elderly gentleman, as he daintily handled some insect remains14 as reverently15 as if they had been mummies of the Rameses; "each can have her own way." He had forgotten Margaret's "own way," and he knew very little about Mrs. Carteret's.
It was rather odd that his wife did not come to talk about the news that James Dugdale had communicated to her. He wondered at that a little. He would go and find her, and they should talk it over together, presently, when he had put this splendid scarabaeus all right--a great creature!--how fortunate he had secured it, just as old Fooster was on the scent16 of it too!
And so Mr. Carteret went on, and the minutes went on, and he had not yet completed his arrangements for the adequate display of the scarabaeus, when two figures, one in heavy black robes, passed quickly between him and the light. A window-sash was thrown up from the outside, and Margaret Hungerford's arms were round her father's neck.
Under the roof of Chayleigh, on that bright autumn night, there was but one tranquil17 sleeper18. That one was Mr. Carteret. He was thoroughly happy. Margaret had come home, Godfrey Hungerford was dead, and she had never mentioned his name.
He felt some tepid19 gratitude20 towards Hayes Meredith: of course he should at once repay him the sums advanced to Margaret, and it would be a good opportunity of extending his correspondence and his scientific investigations--the Australian fauna21 had much to disclose.
He had experienced a slight shock at observing the change in Margaret's appearance; but that had passed away, and when Mr. Carteret fell asleep that night he acknowledged that everything was for the best in the long-run.
Mrs. Carteret had behaved very well. She had met Margaret kindly22, with as much composure as if she had been away from home on a week's visit; had inquired whether "her maid" would remain at Chayleigh; had added that "her things" should be placed in her "former" room; and had evinced no further consciousness of the tremendous change which had befallen her stepdaughter than was implied in the remark that "widow's caps were not made so heavy now," and that Margaret's "crape skirt needed renewal23."
The evening had passed away quietly. To two of the four individuals who composed the little party it had seemed like a dream from which they expected soon to awaken24. Those two were Margaret Hungerford and James Dugdale.
One slight interruption had occurred. A note had been handed to Mrs. Carteret from Lady Davyntry. She had heard of the return of her former "pet" to Chayleigh--the expression was as characteristic of Lady Davyntry as it was unsuitably applied25 to Margaret, who was an unpromising subject for "petting"--and hoped to see her soon. Mr. Meriton Baldwin would forego the pleasure of calling at Chayleigh that evening, as he could not think of intruding26 so soon after the arrival of Mrs. Hungerford.
Mrs. Carteret threw down the letter with rather an ill-tempered jerk, and her face bore an expression which Margaret remembered with painful distinctness, as she said,
"Very absurd, I think. I don't suppose that Margaret would object to our seeing our friends because she is here."
The speech was not framed as a question; but Margaret answered it, lifting up her head and her fair throat as she spoke9, after a fashion which one observer, at least, thought infinitely27 beautiful.
"Certainly not, Mrs. Carteret. Pray do not allow me to interfere28 with any of your usual proceedings29."
And then she went on talking to her father about the habits of the kangaroo.
The thoughts which held Mrs. Carteret's eyes waking that night were anything but agreeable. She did not exactly know how she stood with regard to her stepdaughter. If she determined on making the house too unpleasant for her to bear it, she might find herself in collision with her husband and her cousin at once, unless she could contrive30 that the unpleasantness should be of a kind which Margaret's pride--which she detected to be little, if at all, subdued31 by the experiences of her married life--would induce her to hide from the observation of both.
Margaret should not live at Chayleigh if Mrs. Carteret could prevent it; but whatever means she used to carry her purpose into effect must be such as James Dugdale could not discover or thwart32. The thing would be difficult to do; but Mrs. Carteret had well-grounded confidence in her own power of carrying a point, and this was one which must be held over for the present. It was agreeable to be able to decide that, at all events, Margaret was no beauty, that she was decidedly much less handsome than she had been as what Mrs. Carteret called "a raw girl."
And this was true, to the perception of a superficial observer. Margaret looked very far from handsome as she sat in a corner of the bow-window of the drawing-room, her small thin hands folded and motionless, her head, with its hideous33 covering, bent34 down; her pale face, sharpened by the angle at which the light struck it, and her whole figure, in its deep black dress, unrelieved by the slightest ornament35 or grace of form, pervaded36 by an expression of weariness and defeat. She might have been a woman of thirty years old, and who had never been handsome, to the perception of any stranger who had then and thus seen her.
But, three hours later in the night, when Margaret Hungerford was alone in the room which had been the scene of her girlish dreams and hopes, of the fond and beautiful delusion37 so terribly dissipated--in the room where her dead mother had watched her in her sleep, where she had read and yielded to the lover's prayer which lured38 her from her home--when she was quite alone, and was permitting the waves of memory to rush over her soul;--no one would have said, who could then have seen her, that Margaret was not handsome. Her face was one capable of intensity39 of expression in every mood of feeling, and as mobile as it was powerful. The wakeful hours of that night passed over her while another crisis in her life was lived through--another crisis somewhat resembling, and yet differing from, that which had marked the first hours of her voyage.
She had sent Rose Moore away as soon as she could, but not before the girl had imparted to her her conviction that English people, always excepting Margaret, were "square." She could not understand the tranquillity40 of the widowed daughter's reception at Chayleigh. The reception awaiting her in the "ould country" would be of a very different kind, "plase God," she added internally; and the extent and importance of the business of eating and drinking among the servants had gone nigh to exasperate41 her.
Rose was devoted42 to Margaret, but she thought the sooner she and her mistress turned their back on a place where servants sat down to four regular meals a day, and did not as much as know the meaning of the "Mass," the better.
"She'll never do for these people," the girl thought, as she waited for Margaret in her room; "she's restless with sorrow, and it's not a nice nate place, like this, with the back parlour full of spiders laid out in state, as if they were wakin' them, and little boxes full of bones--nor yet the drawin'-room, all done out with bades, and a mother, by way of, sittin' in it that 'ud think more of one of her tay-cups bein' chipped than of the young crayture's heart bein' broken--that'll ever bring comfort or consolation43 to the likes of her."
The thoughts which had put themselves into such simple words in the Irish girl's mind had considerable affinity44 with Margaret's own, but in her they took more tumultuous form. The strong purpose, half remorse, half vain-longing, which had brought her home, was fulfilled. She had seen the place she had left, and thoroughly realised that her former self had been left with it.
The few hours which had passed had made her comprehend that her life, her nature, were things apart from Chayleigh; she could not, if she would, take up the story of her girlhood where she had closed the book. Between her and every former association, the dark and miserable years of her married life--unreal as they seemed now--almost as unreal as the illusion under which she had entered upon them--had placed an impassable gulf45.
Wrapped in a dressing-gown, and with her dark hair loose upon her shoulders, Margaret paced her room from end to end, and strove with her thoughts. She was a puzzle to herself. What discord46 there was between her--a woman who had suffered such things, seen such sights, heard such words as she had seen, and heard, and suffered--and the calm, well-regulated, comfortable household here! If she had ever contemplated47 remaining an inmate48 of her father's house, this one night's commune with herself would have forced her to recognise the impossibility of her doing so. The stain and stamp of her wanderings were upon her; she could not find rest here, or yet.
Her father's dreamy ways; the selfishness, heartlessness, empty-headedness of Mrs. Carteret; the distaste she felt for James Dugdale's presence, though she persuaded herself she was striving to be grateful;--all these things, separately and collectively, she felt, but they did not present themselves to her as the true sources of her present uncontrollable feelings: she knew how utterly49 she was changed now only when she knew--for it was knowledge, not apprehension--that the home to which she had found her way of access so much easier than she had thought for, could never be a resting-place for her.
Was there any resting-place anywhere? Had she still to learn that life's lessons are not exhausted50 by one or two great shocks of experience, but are daily tasks until the day, "never so weary or long," has been "rung to evensong"? She was a puzzle to herself in another respect. No grief for the dead husband, the lover for whom she had left the home which could not be restored, had come back to her. No gentle tender chord had been touched in her heart, to give forth51 his name in mournful music.
In this, the truth, the intellectual strength of her nature, unknown to her, revealed themselves. No sentimentality veiled the truth from Margaret. She had said to herself that it was well for her her husband was dead, no matter what should come after, and she never unsaid it,--not even in the hours of emotional recollection and mental strife52 which formed her first night under her father's roof.
Standing53 by the window at which James Dugdale had first caught sight of her the day before, Margaret clasped her hands over her head and looked out drearily54. The moon was high, the light was cold and ghastly. She thought how she had seen the same chill gleam upon the shimmering55 sea, and upon the grassy56 wastes of the distant land she had left; and the fancy came to her that it was to be always moonlight with her for evermore.
"No more sunshine; no more of the glow, and the glitter, and the warmth--that is done with for me. There's no such thing as happiness, and I must only try to find, instead, hard work."
There was another wakeful head at Chayleigh that night. James Dugdale was but too well accustomed to sleepless57 nights, companioned by the searching, mysterious pain which so often attends upon deformity--pain, as if unseen fingers questioned the distorted limbs and lingered among the disturbed nerves; but it was not that which kept him waking now.
It was that he, too, was face to face with his fate, questioning it of its past deeds and its intentions for the future--a little bitterly questioning it, perhaps, and yet with more resignation than rancour after all, considering what the mind of the man was, and what a prison-house it tenanted. Among the innumerable crowd of thoughts which pursued and pressed upon each other, there was one all the more distinct that he felt and strove against its unworthiness.
"I am so thankful she is at home--so glad for her sake. Nothing could be so well for her, since the past is irrevocable; but nothing could be so bad, at least nothing could be worse for me. No, nothing, nothing."
And James Dugdale, happily blind to the further resources of his destiny, felt something like a dreary58 sense of peace arising within him as he assured himself over and over again of the finality to which it had attained59.
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1
agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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4
delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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apprehension
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| n.理解，领悟；逮捕，拘捕；忧虑 | |
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6
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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peculiarities
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| n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
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determined
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| adj.坚定的；有决心的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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10
beetles
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| n.甲虫( beetle的名词复数 ) | |
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11
unpack
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| vt.打开包裹（或行李），卸货 | |
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12
consigned
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| v.把…置于（令人不快的境地）( consign的过去式和过去分词 )；把…托付给；把…托人代售；丟弃 | |
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13
reconciliation
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| n.和解，和谐，一致 | |
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14
remains
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| n.剩余物，残留物；遗体，遗迹 | |
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15
reverently
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| adv.虔诚地 | |
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scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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17
tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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sleeper
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| n.睡眠者，卧车，卧铺 | |
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19
tepid
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| adj.微温的，温热的，不太热心的 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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fauna
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| n.(一个地区或时代的)所有动物，动物区系 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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renewal
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| adj.(契约)延期，续订，更新，复活，重来 | |
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awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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intruding
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| v.侵入，侵扰，打扰( intrude的现在分词)；把…强加于 | |
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27
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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interfere
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| v.(in)干涉，干预；(with)妨碍，打扰 | |
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29
proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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contrive
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| vt.谋划，策划；设法做到；设计，想出 | |
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31
subdued
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| adj. 屈服的，柔和的，减弱的 动词subdue的过去式和过去分词 | |
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thwart
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| v.阻挠，妨碍，反对；adj.横(断的) | |
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hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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bent
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| n.爱好，癖好；adj.弯的；决心的，一心的 | |
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35
ornament
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| v.装饰，美化；n.装饰，装饰物 | |
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pervaded
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| v.遍及，弥漫( pervade的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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37
delusion
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| n.谬见，欺骗，幻觉，迷惑 | |
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38
lured
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| 吸引，引诱（lure的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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39
intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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40
tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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41
exasperate
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| v.激怒，使（疾病）加剧，使恶化 | |
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42
devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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43
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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44
affinity
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| n.亲和力，密切关系 | |
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45
gulf
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| n.海湾；深渊，鸿沟；分歧，隔阂 | |
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46
discord
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| n.不和，意见不合，争论，（音乐）不和谐 | |
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47
contemplated
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| adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式 | |
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48
inmate
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| n.被收容者；(房屋等的)居住人；住院人 | |
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49
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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50
exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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51
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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52
strife
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| n.争吵，冲突，倾轧，竞争 | |
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53
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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54
drearily
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| 沉寂地，厌倦地，可怕地 | |
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55
shimmering
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| v.闪闪发光，发微光( shimmer的现在分词 ) | |
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grassy
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| adj.盖满草的；长满草的 | |
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57
sleepless
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| adj.不睡眠的，睡不著的，不休息的 | |
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58
dreary
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| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
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59
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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