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Chapter 14
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His second call was to the Albrittons, old friends from church who lived an hour away. Luther spilled his guts1, and by the time he finished Riley Albritton was roaring with laughter. "It's Luther," Riley said to someone in the background, probably Doris. "Blair just called. She'll be home tonight." And with that, Doris or whoever it was broke into hysterics.
Luther wished he hadn't called. "Help me out here, Riley," he pleaded. "Can you guys stop by?"
"Sorry, bud. We're going to the MacIlvaines for dinner. They invited us a bit earlier, you know."
"All right," Luther said and hung up.
The phone rang immediately. It was Nora, her voice as edgy2 as Luther'd ever heard it. "Where are you?" she demanded.
"Well, I'm in the kitchen. Where are you?"
"I'm sitting in traffic on Broad, near the mall."
"Why are you going to the mall?"
"Because I couldn't park at the District, couldn't even get in off the street. I've bought nothing. Do you have a tree?"
"Yes, a real beauty."
"Are you decorating it?"
"Yes, I have Perry Como crooning 'Jingle3 Bells' in the background while I'm sipping4 eggnog and trimming our tree. Wish you were here?"
"Have you called anyone?"
"Yes, the Lairds and Albrittons, neither can make it."
"I've called the Pinkertons, Harts, Malones, and Burklands. They're all busy. Pete Hart laughed at me, the bore."
"I'll beat him up for you." Spike5 was knocking on the door. "I gotta get busy."
"I guess you'd better start calling the neighbors," she said, her hyper voice faltering6.
"Why?"
"To invite them."
"Not in a million years, Nora. I'm hanging up now."
"No word from Blair."
"She's on an airplane, Nora. Call me later."
Spike's borrowed wagon7 was a red Radio Flyer that had seen its better years. With one look, Luther deemed it too small and too old, but they had no choice. "I'll go over first," he explained, as if he knew exactly what he was doing. "Wait five minutes, then bring the wagon over. Don't let anyone see you, okay?"
"Where's my forty bucks8?"
Luther handed him a twenty. "Half now, half when the job is done."
He entered the Trogdon home through the side door of the garage, and felt like a burglar for the first time in memory. When he opened the door to the house, an alarm beeped for a few seconds, very long seconds in which Luther's heart froze and his entire life and career flashed before him. Caught, arrested, convicted, his license9 revoked10, banished11 by Wiley & Beck, disgraced. Then it stopped, and he waited another few seconds before he could breathe. A panel by the rear door said things were Clear.
What a mess. The house was a landfill with debris12 strewn everywhere, clear evidence of another successful visit by Ole St. Nick. Trish Trogdon would choke her husband if she knew he'd given Luther the keys. In the living room, he stopped and stared at the tree.
It was well known on Hemlock13 that the Trogdons took little care in decorating their tree. They allowed their children to hang anything they could find. There were a million lights, strands14 of mismatched garlands, tacky ornaments15 by the boxload, red and green icicles, even strings17 of popcorn18.
Nora will kill me, Luther thought, but he had no choice. The plan was so simple it had to work. He and Spike would remove the breakable ornaments, and the garlands, and for sure the popcorn, lay them all on the sofa and chairs, ease the tree out of the house with lights intact, haul it over to Luther's, and dress it with real decorations. Then, at some point in the near future, Luther and perhaps Spike would strip it again, haul it across the street, put the Trogdon junk back on it, and everybody would be happy.
He dropped the first ornament16 and it shattered into a dozen pieces. Spike showed up. "Don't break anything," Luther said, as he cleaned up the ornament.
"Are we getting in trouble for this?" Spike asked. "Of course not. Now get to work. And fast."
Twenty minutes later the tree was stripped of anything breakable. Luther found a dirty towel in the laundry, and lying flat on his stomach, under the tree, he managed to work the metal tree stand onto the towel. Spike leaned in above him, gently shoving the tree to one side, then the other. On hands and knees, Luther managed to slide the tree toward Spike, across the wood floor, across the tile of the kitchen, down the narrow hall to the laundry, where the branches scraped the walls and dead spruce needles trailed behind
"You're making a mess," Spike said, helpfully.
"I'll clean it later," said Luther, who was sweating like a sprinter19.
The tree, of course, was wider than the door to the garage, as all trees are. Spike pulled the wagon close. Luther grabbed the trunk of the tree, lifted it with a strain, swung, the bottom through the door and pulled the whole thing through. When it was sitting safely in the garage, Luther caught his breath, hit the garage door opener, and managed a smile at Spike.
"Why are you so brown?" the kid asked.
The smile vanished as Luther was reminded of the cruise he wouldn't be taking. He looked at his watch-twelve-forty. Twelve-forty and not a single guest for the party, no food, no Frosty, no lights strung anywhere, no tree, as yet, but one on the way. It seemed hopeless at that moment.
You can't quit, old boy.
Luther strained again and lifted the tree up. Spike shoved the wagon under, and of course the metal tree stand was wider than the Radio Flyer. Luther got it balanced, though, and watched it for a moment. "You sit here," he said, pointing to a tiny spot in the wagon and under the tree. "Keep it from tipping over. I'll push."
"You think this'll work?" Spike said, with great suspicion.
Across the street, Ned Becker had been minding his own business when he saw the tree disappear from the Trogdons' front window. Five minutes passed, and the tree reappeared in the open garage, where a man and a kid were wrestling with it. He looked harder, and recognized Luther Krank. Watching every move, he called Walt Scheel on a portable phone.
"Hey, Walt, Ned here."
"Merry Christmas, Ned."
"Merry Christmas, Walt. Say, I'm watching the Trogdons' house, and it appears as if Krank has lost his mind."
"How's that?"
"He's stealing their Christmas tree."
Luther and Spike began their way down the Trogdon driveway, which had a slight decline to the street. Luther was behind the wagon, hanging on, letting it roll slightly. Spike clutched the trunk of the tree, terrified.
Scheel peeked21 out his front door, and when he saw the theft with his own eyes, he punched the number for the police.
The desk sergeant22 answered.
"Yes, this is Walt Scheel, Fourteen eighty-one Hemlock. There's a burglary under way, right now."
"Where?"
"Right here. At Fourteen eighty-three Hemlock. I'm watching it in progress. Hurry."
Trogdon's tree made it across Hemlock to the other side, right in front of the Becker house, where now in the front window Ned, his wife, Jude, and his mother-in-law were watching. Luther negotiated a right turn with the handle, and began pulling the wagon toward his house.
He wanted to sprint20 before anyone saw him, but Spike kept telling him to take it slow. Luther was afraid to look around, and he didn't believe for a second that he was going unnoticed. When he was almost to his driveway, Spike said, "Cops."
Luther wheeled around just as the patrol car slowed to a stop in the middle of the street, lights flashing but no siren. Two officers jumped out as if it were a SWAT mission,
Luther recognized Salino with the large stomach, then young Treen with the thick neck. The same two who'd stopped by hawking23 calendars for the Police Benevolent24 Association.
"Hello, Mr. Krank," Salino said with a smirk25.
"Where you going with that?" asked Treen.
"To my house," Luther said, pointing. He'd come so close.
"Maybe you'd better explain," said Salino.
"Yeah, well, Wes Trogdon over there let me borrow his Christmas tree. He left town an hour ago, and me and Spike here were just moving it."
"Spike?"
Luther turned and looked behind him, down at the wagon, at the narrow gap where Spike had been. Spike was gone, nowhere to be seen on Hemlock.
"Yeah, a kid down the street."
Walt Scheel had a seat on the fifty-yard line. Bev was resting, or trying to. His laughter got so loud that she came to see what was the matter. "Pull up a chair, honey, they've caught Krank stealing a tree." The Beckers were howling too.
"We got a report that a burglary was in progress," said Treen.
"There's no burglary. Who called?"
"A Mr. Scheel. Whose wagon is this?"
"I don't know. Spike's."
"So you stole the wagon too," said Treen.
"I've stolen nothing."
"You have to admit, Mr. Krank, it looks very suspicious, Salino said.
Yes, under normal circumstances, Luther might be forced to say that the entire scene was a bit unusual. But Blair was getting closer by the minute, and there was no time to back down. "Not at all, sir. I borrow Trogdon's tree all the time."
"We'd better take you in for questioning," Treen said, and unsnapped a pair of handcuffs from his belt. The sight of the silver cuffs26 sent Walt Scheel to the floor. The Beckers were having trouble breathing.
And Luther went weak at the knees. "Come on, you can't be serious."
"Get in the backseat."

Luther sat low in the back, thinking of suicide for the first time in his life. The two cops in the front seat were chatting on the radio, something about finding the owner of the stolen property. Their lights were still swirling27, and Luther wanted to say so much. Let me go! I'll sue! Turn off the damned lights! Next year I'll buy ten calendars! Just go ahead and shoot me!
If Nora came home now, she'd file for divorce.
The Kirby twins were eight-year-old delinquents28 from the far end of Hemlock, and for some reason they happened by. They walked close to the car, close to the rear window, and made direct eye contact with Luther, who squirmed even lower. Then the Bellington brat29 joined them and all three peered in at Luther as if he'd killed their mothers.
Spike came running, followed by Vic Frohmeyer. The officers got out and had a word with him, then Treen shooed the kids away and released Luther from the backseat.
"He's got keys," Vic was saying, and Luther then remembered that he did indeed have the keys to Trogdon's. What a moron30!
"I know both these men," Frohmeyer continued. "This is no burglary."
The cops whispered for a moment as Luther tried to ignore the stares from Vic and Spike. He glanced around, half-expecting to see Nora wheel into the drive and have a stroke.
"What about the tree?" Salino asked Vic.
"If he says Trogdon loaned it to him, then that's the truth."
"You sure?"
"I'm sure."
"Okay, okay, Salino said, still sneering31 at Luther as if he'd never seen a guiltier criminal. They slowly got in the car and drove away.
"Thanks," Luther said.
"What're you doing, Luther?" Vic asked.
"I'm borrowing their tree. Spike's helping32 me move it. Let's go, Spike."
Without further interruption, Luther and Spike rolled the tree up the driveway, into the garage, and grappled with it until it was sitting rather nicely in the front window. Along the way they left a trail of dead needles, red and green icicles, and some popcorn. "I'll vacuum later," Luther said. "Let's check the lights."
The phone rang. It was Nora, more panicked than before. "I can't find a thing, Luther. No turkey, no ham, no chocolates, nothing. And I can't find a nice gift either."
"Gifts? Why are you shopping for gifts?"
"It's Christmas, Luther. Have you called the Yarbers and Friskis?"
"Yes," he lied. "Their lines were busy."
"Keep calling, Luther, because no one is coming. I've tried the McTeers, Morrises, and Warners, they're all busy. How's the tree?"
"Coming along."
"I'll call later."
Spike plugged in the lights and the tree came to life. They attacked the nine boxes of decorations without a care as to what went where.
Across the street, Walt Scheel watched them through binoculars33.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 guts Yraziv     
v.狼吞虎咽,贪婪地吃,飞碟游戏(比赛双方每组5人,相距15码,互相掷接飞碟);毁坏(建筑物等)的内部( gut的第三人称单数 );取出…的内脏n.勇气( gut的名词复数 );内脏;消化道的下段;肠
参考例句:
  • I'll only cook fish if the guts have been removed. 鱼若已收拾干净,我只需烧一下即可。
  • Barbara hasn't got the guts to leave her mother. 巴巴拉没有勇气离开她妈妈。 来自《简明英汉词典》
2 edgy FuMzWT     
adj.不安的;易怒的
参考例句:
  • She's been a bit edgy lately,waiting for the exam results.她正在等待考试结果,所以最近有些焦躁不安。
  • He was nervous and edgy, still chain-smoking.他紧张不安,还在一根接一根地抽着烟。
3 jingle RaizA     
n.叮当声,韵律简单的诗句;v.使叮当作响,叮当响,押韵
参考例句:
  • The key fell on the ground with a jingle.钥匙叮当落地。
  • The knives and forks set up their regular jingle.刀叉发出常有的叮当声。
4 sipping e7d80fb5edc3b51045def1311858d0ae     
v.小口喝,呷,抿( sip的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • She sat in the sun, idly sipping a cool drink. 她坐在阳光下懒洋洋地抿着冷饮。
  • She sat there, sipping at her tea. 她坐在那儿抿着茶。
5 spike lTNzO     
n.长钉,钉鞋;v.以大钉钉牢,使...失效
参考例句:
  • The spike pierced the receipts and held them in order.那个钉子穿过那些收据并使之按顺序排列。
  • They'll do anything to spike the guns of the opposition.他们会使出各种手段来挫败对手。
6 faltering b25bbdc0788288f819b6e8b06c0a6496     
犹豫的,支吾的,蹒跚的
参考例句:
  • The economy shows no signs of faltering. 经济没有衰退的迹象。
  • I canfeel my legs faltering. 我感到我的腿在颤抖。
7 wagon XhUwP     
n.四轮马车,手推车,面包车;无盖运货列车
参考例句:
  • We have to fork the hay into the wagon.我们得把干草用叉子挑进马车里去。
  • The muddy road bemired the wagon.马车陷入了泥泞的道路。
8 bucks a391832ce78ebbcfc3ed483cc6d17634     
n.雄鹿( buck的名词复数 );钱;(英国十九世纪初的)花花公子;(用于某些表达方式)责任v.(马等)猛然弓背跃起( buck的第三人称单数 );抵制;猛然震荡;马等尥起后蹄跳跃
参考例句:
  • They cost ten bucks. 这些值十元钱。
  • They are hunting for bucks. 他们正在猎雄兔。 来自《简明英汉词典》
9 license B9TzU     
n.执照,许可证,特许;v.许可,特许
参考例句:
  • The foreign guest has a license on the person.这个外国客人随身携带执照。
  • The driver was arrested for having false license plates on his car.司机由于使用假车牌而被捕。
10 revoked 80b785d265b6419ab99251d8f4340a1d     
adj.[法]取消的v.撤销,取消,废除( revoke的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • It may be revoked if the check is later dishonoured. 以后如支票被拒绝支付,结算可以撤销。 来自辞典例句
  • A will is revoked expressly. 遗嘱可以通过明示推翻。 来自辞典例句
11 banished b779057f354f1ec8efd5dd1adee731df     
v.放逐,驱逐( banish的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He was banished to Australia, where he died five years later. 他被流放到澳大利亚,五年后在那里去世。
  • He was banished to an uninhabited island for a year. 他被放逐到一个无人居住的荒岛一年。 来自《简明英汉词典》
12 debris debris     
n.瓦砾堆,废墟,碎片
参考例句:
  • After the bombing there was a lot of debris everywhere.轰炸之后到处瓦砾成堆。
  • Bacteria sticks to food debris in the teeth,causing decay.细菌附着在牙缝中的食物残渣上,导致蛀牙。
13 hemlock n51y6     
n.毒胡萝卜,铁杉
参考例句:
  • He was condemned to drink a cup of hemlock.判处他喝一杯毒汁。
  • Here is a beech by the side of a hemlock,with three pines at hand.这儿有株山毛榉和一株铁杉长在一起,旁边还有三株松树。
14 strands d184598ceee8e1af7dbf43b53087d58b     
n.(线、绳、金属线、毛发等的)股( strand的名词复数 );缕;海洋、湖或河的)岸;(观点、计划、故事等的)部份v.使滞留,使搁浅( strand的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • Twist a length of rope from strands of hemp. 用几股麻搓成了一段绳子。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • She laced strands into a braid. 她把几股线编织成一根穗带。 来自《简明英汉词典》
15 ornaments 2bf24c2bab75a8ff45e650a1e4388dec     
n.装饰( ornament的名词复数 );点缀;装饰品;首饰v.装饰,点缀,美化( ornament的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • The shelves were chock-a-block with ornaments. 架子上堆满了装饰品。
  • Playing the piano sets up resonance in those glass ornaments. 一弹钢琴那些玻璃饰物就会产生共振。 来自《简明英汉词典》
16 ornament u4czn     
v.装饰,美化;n.装饰,装饰物
参考例句:
  • The flowers were put on the table for ornament.花放在桌子上做装饰用。
  • She wears a crystal ornament on her chest.她的前胸戴了一个水晶饰品。
17 strings nh0zBe     
n.弦
参考例句:
  • He sat on the bed,idly plucking the strings of his guitar.他坐在床上,随意地拨着吉他的弦。
  • She swept her fingers over the strings of the harp.她用手指划过竖琴的琴弦。
18 popcorn 8lUzJI     
n.爆米花
参考例句:
  • I like to eat popcorn when I am watching TV play at home.当我在家观看电视剧时,喜欢吃爆米花。
  • He still stood behind his cash register stuffing his mouth with popcorn.他仍站在收银机后,嘴里塞满了爆米花。
19 sprinter Fhczl7     
n.短跑运动员,短距离全速奔跑者
参考例句:
  • He is more a sprinter than a swimmer. 他是短跑健将,而不是游泳选手。 来自辞典例句
  • The sprinter himself thinks he can run the race at 9.4 seconds. 这位短跑运动员自认为可以用9.4秒跑完比赛。 来自互联网
20 sprint QvWwR     
n.短距离赛跑;vi. 奋力而跑,冲刺;vt.全速跑过
参考例句:
  • He put on a sprint to catch the bus.他全速奔跑以赶上公共汽车。
  • The runner seemed to be rallied for a final sprint.这名赛跑者似乎在振作精神作最后的冲刺。
21 peeked c7b2fdc08abef3a4f4992d9023ed9bb8     
v.很快地看( peek的过去式和过去分词 );偷看;窥视;微露出
参考例句:
  • She peeked over the top of her menu. 她从菜单上往外偷看。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • On two occasions she had peeked at him through a crack in the wall. 她曾两次透过墙缝窥视他。 来自辞典例句
22 sergeant REQzz     
n.警官,中士
参考例句:
  • His elder brother is a sergeant.他哥哥是个警官。
  • How many stripes are there on the sleeve of a sergeant?陆军中士的袖子上有多少条纹?
23 hawking ca928c4e13439b9aa979b863819d00de     
利用鹰行猎
参考例句:
  • He is hawking his goods everywhere. 他在到处兜售他的货物。
  • We obtain the event horizon and the Hawking spectrumformula. 得到了黑洞的局部事件视界位置和Hawking温度以及Klein—Gordon粒子的Hawking辐射谱。
24 benevolent Wtfzx     
adj.仁慈的,乐善好施的
参考例句:
  • His benevolent nature prevented him from refusing any beggar who accosted him.他乐善好施的本性使他不会拒绝走上前向他行乞的任何一个乞丐。
  • He was a benevolent old man and he wouldn't hurt a fly.他是一个仁慈的老人,连只苍蝇都不愿伤害。
25 smirk GE8zY     
n.得意地笑;v.傻笑;假笑着说
参考例句:
  • He made no attempt to conceal his smirk.他毫不掩饰自鸣得意的笑容。
  • She had a selfsatisfied smirk on her face.她脸上带着自鸣得意的微笑。
26 cuffs 4f67c64175ca73d89c78d4bd6a85e3ed     
n.袖口( cuff的名词复数 )v.掌打,拳打( cuff的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • a collar and cuffs of white lace 带白色蕾丝花边的衣领和袖口
  • The cuffs of his shirt were fraying. 他衬衣的袖口磨破了。
27 swirling Ngazzr     
v.旋转,打旋( swirl的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • Snowflakes were swirling in the air. 天空飘洒着雪花。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • She smiled, swirling the wine in her glass. 她微笑着,旋动着杯子里的葡萄酒。 来自辞典例句
28 delinquents 03c7fc31eb1c2f3334b049f2f2139264     
n.(尤指青少年)有过失的人,违法的人( delinquent的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The robbery was committed by a group of delinquents. 那起抢劫案是一群青少年干的。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • There is today general agreement that juvenile delinquents are less responsible than older offenders. 目前人们普遍认为青少年罪犯比成人罪犯的责任小些。 来自辞典例句
29 brat asPzx     
n.孩子;顽童
参考例句:
  • He's a spoilt brat.他是一个被宠坏了的调皮孩子。
  • The brat sicked his dog on the passer-by.那个顽童纵狗去咬过路人。
30 moron IEyxN     
n.极蠢之人,低能儿
参考例句:
  • I used to think that Gordon was a moron.我曾以为戈登是个白痴。
  • He's an absolute moron!他纯粹是个傻子!
31 sneering 929a634cff0de62dfd69331a8e4dcf37     
嘲笑的,轻蔑的
参考例句:
  • "What are you sneering at?" “你冷笑什么?” 来自子夜部分
  • The old sorceress slunk in with a sneering smile. 老女巫鬼鬼崇崇地走进来,冷冷一笑。
32 helping 2rGzDc     
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的
参考例句:
  • The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
  • By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。
33 binoculars IybzWh     
n.双筒望远镜
参考例句:
  • He watched the play through his binoculars.他用双筒望远镜看戏。
  • If I had binoculars,I could see that comet clearly.如果我有望远镜,我就可以清楚地看见那颗彗星。


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