Of all the tasks that he liked at Bere he liked most going to the pasture. It was not his regular work. As regular work it belonged to old Diggory; but old Diggory was as willing to be relieved of it as Mrs. Quidmore of the milking. Brushing himself down, and washing his hands at the tap in the garage after a fashion that didn't clean them, he marched off, whistling. He whistled because his heart was light. His heart was light because his mother having been in the kitchen, he had escaped the necessity for giving her the medicine as to which he felt his odd reluctance1.
Leaving the garage behind him, he threaded a tiny path running through the beet-field. The turnip-field came next, after which he entered a strip of fine old timber, coming out from that on the main road to Bere. Along this road, for some five hundred yards, he tramped merrily, kicking up the dust. He liked this road. Not only was it open, free, and straight, but along its old stone walls raspberries and black
[Pg 103]
berries grew ripe in a tangle2 of wild spirea, meadow-rue, jewel weed, and Queen Anne's lace. He loved this luxuriance, this summer sense of abundance. To the boy who had never known anything but poverty, Nature at least, in this lush Connecticut countryside, seemed generous.
The pasture was on the edge of a scrubby woodland in which the twenty acres of the Quidmore property trailed away into the unkempt. Eighty or a hundred years earlier, it had been the center of a farm now cut up into small holdings, chiefly among market gardeners. In the traces of the old farmhouse3, the old garden, the old orchard4, the boy found his imagination touched by the pathos5 of a vanished human past.
The land sloped from the hillside, till in the bottom of the hollow it became a little brambly wood such as in England would be called a spinney. Through the spinney trickled6 a stream which somewhere fell into Horseneck Brook7, which somewhere fell into one of those shallow inlets that the Sound thrusts in on the coastline. Halfway8 between the road and the streamlet, was the old home-place, deserted9 so long ago that the cellar was choked with blackberry vines, and the brick of the foundation bulging10 out of plumb11. A clump12 of lilac which had once snuggled lovingly against a south wall was now a big solitary13 bush. What used to be a bed of pansies had reverted14 to a scattering15 of cheery little heartsease faces, brightening the grass. The low-growing, pale-rose mallow of old gardens still kept up its vigor16 of bloom, throwing out a musky scent17. There was something wistful in the
[Pg 104]
spot, especially now that the sun was westering, and the birds skimmed low, making for their nests.
In going for Geraldine Tom always stole a few minutes to linger among these memories of old joys and sorrows, old labors18 and rewards, of which nothing now remained but these few flowers, a few wind-beaten apple trees, and this dint20 in the ground which served best as a shelter for chipmunks21. It was the part of the property farthest from the house. It was far, too, from any other habitation, securing him the privilege of solitude22. The privilege was new to him. At Harfrey he had never known it. About the gardens, even at Bere, there were always the owner, the hired men, the customers, the neighbors who came and went. But in Geraldine's pasture he found only herself, the crows, the robins23, the thrushes singing in the spinney, and the small wild life darting25 from one covert26 to another, or along the crumbling27 stone wall hung with its loopings of wild grape.
He was not lonely on these excursions. Companionship had never in the Harfrey schools been such a pleasure that he missed anything in having to do without it. Rather, he enjoyed the freedom to be himself, to wear no mask, to have no part to play. It was only when alone like this that he understood how much of his thought and effort was spent in dancing to other people's tunes28. In the Tollivant home he could never, like the other children, speak or act without a second thought. As a State ward19 it was his duty to commend himself. To commend himself he was obliged to think twice even before venturing on trifles. He had formed a habit of thinking twice, of
[Pg 105]
rarely being spontaneous. By himself in this homey pasture he felt the relief of one who has been balancing on a tight rope at walking on the ground.
When he had climbed the bars Geraldine, who was down the hill and near the spinney, had lifted her head and swung her tail in recognition. Not being impatient, she went on with her browsing29, leaving him a few minutes' liberty. Among the heartsease and the mallows he flung himself down, partly because he was tired and partly that he might think. With so much to think about thought came without sequence. It centered soon on what he was to be.
Of one thing he was certain; he didn't want to be a market gardener. Not but that he enjoyed the open-air life and the novelty of closeness to the soil. Like the whole Quidmore connection, it was good enough for the time. All the same, it was only for the time, and one day he would break away from it. How, he didn't ask. He merely knew by his intuitions that it would be so.
He was going to be something big. That, too, was intuitive conviction. What he meant by big he was unable to define, beyond the fact that knowledge and money would enter into it. He was interested in money, not so much for what it gave you as for what it was. It was a queer thing when you came to think of it. A dollar bill in itself had no more value than any other scrap30 of paper; and yet it would buy a dollar's worth of anything. He turned that over in his mind till he worked out the reason why. He worked out the principle of payment by check, which at first was as blank a mystery as marital31 relations. When
[Pg 106]
newspapers came his way he studied the reports of the stock exchange, much as a savage32 who cannot read scans the unmeaning hieroglyphs33 which to wiser people are words. He did make out that railways and other great utilities must be owned by a lot of people who combined to put their money into them; but daily fluctuations34 in value he couldn't understand. When he asked his adopted father he was told that he couldn't understand it, though he knew he could.
Long accustomed to this answer as to the bewilderments of life, he rarely now asked anything. If he was puzzled he waited for more data. Even for little boys things cleared themselves up if you kept them in your mind, and applied35 the explanation when it came your way. The point, he concluded, was not to be in a hurry. There were the spiders. He was fond of watching them. They would sit for hours as still as metal things, their little eyes fixed36 like jewels in a ring. Then when they saw what they wanted one swift dart24 was enough for them. So it must be with little boys. You got one thing to-day, and another thing to-morrow; but you got everything in time if you waited and kept alert.
By waiting and keeping alert he would find out what he was to be. He had reached his point when he saw Geraldine pacing up the hill toward the pasture bars. She was giving him the hint that certain acknowledged rites37 were no longer to be put off.
He had lowered the bars, over which she was stepping delicately, when he saw his father come tearing down the road, going toward Bere, with all the speed his shuffling38 gait could put on. Used by this
[Pg 107]
time to erratic39 actions on Quidmore's part, he was hardly surprised; he was only curious. He was more curious still when, on drawing nearer, the man seemed in a panic. "Looks as if he was running away from something," was the lad's first thought, though he couldn't imagine from what.
"Is anything the matter?"
From panic the indications changed to those of surprise, though the voice was as velvety40 as ever.
"Oh, so it's you! I thought it was Diggory. What did you—what did you—do with that powder?"
The boy began putting up the bars while Geraldine plodded41 homeward.
"I couldn't give it to her. She was in the kitchen baking." He thought it wise to add: "She was making silver cookies for you. You'll have them for supper."
There followed more odd phenomena42, of which the boy, waiting and keeping alert, only got the explanation later. Quidmore threw himself face downward on the wayside grass. With his forehead resting on his arm, he lay as still as one of those drunken men Tom had occasionally seen like logs beside some country road. Geraldine turned her head to ask why she was not followed, but the boy stood waiting for a further sign. He wondered whether all grown-up men had minutes like this, or whether it was part of the epilepsy he had heard about.
But when Quidmore got up he was calm, the traces of panic having disappeared. To a more experienced person the symptoms would have been of relief; but to the lad of twelve they said nothing.
[Pg 108]
"I'll go back with you," was Quidmore's only comment, as together they set out to follow Geraldine.
Having reached the barn where the milking was to be done, Quidmore was proceeding43 to the house. In the hope of a negative, Tom asked if he should try again to-morrow.
Quidmore half turned. "I'll leave that to you."
"I'll do whatever you say," Tom pleaded, desperate at this responsibility.
Quidmore went on his way, calling back, in his creamy drawl, over his shoulder: "I'll leave it entirely44 to you."
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1
reluctance
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| n.厌恶，讨厌，勉强，不情愿 | |
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2
tangle
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| n.纠缠；缠结；混乱；v.(使)缠绕；变乱 | |
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3
farmhouse
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| n.农场住宅（尤指主要住房） | |
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4
orchard
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| n.果园，果园里的全部果树，(美俚)棒球场 | |
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pathos
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| n.哀婉，悲怆 | |
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6
trickled
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| v.滴( trickle的过去式和过去分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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7
brook
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| n.小河，溪；v.忍受，容让 | |
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8
halfway
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| adj.中途的，不彻底的，部分的；adv.半路地，在中途，在半途 | |
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9
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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10
bulging
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| 膨胀； 凸出（部）； 打气； 折皱 | |
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11
plumb
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| adv.精确地，完全地；v.了解意义，测水深 | |
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12
clump
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| n.树丛，草丛；vi.用沉重的脚步行走 | |
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13
solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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14
reverted
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| 恢复( revert的过去式和过去分词 )； 重提； 回到…上； 归还 | |
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15
scattering
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| n.[物]散射；散乱，分散；在媒介质中的散播adj.散乱的；分散在不同范围的；广泛扩散的；（选票）数量分散的v.散射(scatter的ing形式)；散布；驱散 | |
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16
vigor
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| n.活力，精力，元气 | |
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scent
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| n.气味，香味，香水，线索，嗅觉；v.嗅，发觉 | |
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labors
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| v.努力争取(for)( labor的第三人称单数 )；苦干；详细分析；（指引擎）缓慢而困难地运转 | |
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19
ward
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| n.守卫，监护，病房，行政区，由监护人或法院保护的人（尤指儿童）；vt.守护，躲开 | |
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dint
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| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
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21
chipmunks
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| n.金花鼠( chipmunk的名词复数 ) | |
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solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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23
robins
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| n.知更鸟，鸫( robin的名词复数 )；（签名者不分先后，以避免受责的）圆形签名抗议书（或请愿书） | |
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24
dart
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| v.猛冲，投掷；n.飞镖，猛冲 | |
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darting
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| v.投掷，投射( dart的现在分词 )；向前冲，飞奔 | |
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26
covert
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| adj.隐藏的；暗地里的 | |
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27
crumbling
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| adj.摇摇欲坠的 | |
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28
tunes
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| n.曲调，曲子( tune的名词复数 )v.调音( tune的第三人称单数 )；调整；（给收音机、电视等）调谐；使协调 | |
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29
browsing
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| v.吃草( browse的现在分词 )；随意翻阅；（在商店里）随便看看；（在计算机上）浏览信息 | |
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30
scrap
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| n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废 | |
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31
marital
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| adj.婚姻的，夫妻的 | |
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32
savage
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| adj.野蛮的；凶恶的，残暴的；n.未开化的人 | |
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33
hieroglyphs
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| n.象形字（如古埃及等所用的）( hieroglyph的名词复数 )；秘密的或另有含意的书写符号 | |
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34
fluctuations
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| 波动，涨落，起伏( fluctuation的名词复数 ) | |
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35
applied
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| adj.应用的；v.应用，适用 | |
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36
fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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37
rites
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| 仪式，典礼( rite的名词复数 ) | |
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38
shuffling
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| adj. 慢慢移动的, 滑移的 动词shuffle的现在分词形式 | |
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39
erratic
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| adj.古怪的，反复无常的，不稳定的 | |
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40
velvety
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| adj. 像天鹅绒的, 轻软光滑的, 柔软的 | |
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41
plodded
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| v.沉重缓慢地走（路）( plod的过去式和过去分词 )；努力从事；沉闷地苦干；缓慢进行（尤指艰难枯燥的工作） | |
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42
phenomena
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| n.现象 | |
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43
proceeding
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| n.行动，进行，(pl.)会议录，学报 | |
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44
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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