Now Grandfather Satan's wife was called Phyllis: and apart from having wings like a bat's, she was the loveliest little slip of devilishness that Jurgen had seen in a long while. Jurgen spent this night at the Black House of Barathum, and two more nights, or it might be three nights: and the details of what Jurgen used to do there, after supper, when he would walk alone in the Black House Gardens, among the artfully colored cast-iron flowers and shrubbery, and would so come to the grated windows of Phyllis's room, and would stand there joking with her in the dark, are not requisite1 to this story.
Satan was very jealous of his wife, and kept one of her wings clipped and held her under lock and key, as the treasure that she was. But Jurgen was accustomed to say afterward2 that, while the gratings over the windows were very formidable, they only seemed somehow to enhance the piquancy3 of his commerce with Dame4 Phyllis. This queen, said Jurgen, he had found simply unexcelled at repartee5.
"Why, that in any and all circumstances Dame Phyllis knows how to take a joke, and to return as good as she receives."
"So your majesty has already informed me: and certainly jokes can be exchanged through a grating—"
"Yes, that was what I meant. And Dame Phyllis appeared to appreciate my ready flow of humor. She informs me Grandfather Satan is of a cold dry temperament9, with very little humor in him, so that they go for months without exchanging any pleasantries. Well, I am willing to taste any drink once: and for the rest, remembering that my host had very enormous and intimidating10 horns, I was at particular pains to deal fairly with my hostess. Though, indeed, it was more for the honor and the glory of the affair than anything else that I exchanged pleasantries with Satan's wife. For to do that, my dear, I felt was worthy11 of the Emperor Jurgen."
"Ah, I am afraid your majesty is a sad scapegrace," replied Florimel: "however, we all know that the sceptre of an emperor is respected everywhere."
"Indeed," says Jurgen, "I have often regretted that I did not bring with me my jewelled sceptre when I left Noumaria."
She shivered at some unspoken thought: it was not until some while afterward that Florimel told Jurgen of her humiliating misadventure with the absent-minded Sultan of Garçao's sceptre. Now she only replied that jewels might, conceivably, seem ostentatious and out of place.
Jurgen agreed to this truism: for of course they were living very quietly, and Jurgen was splendid enough for any reasonable wife's requirements, in his glittering shirt.
So Jurgen got on pleasantly with Florimel. But he never became as fond of her as he had been of Guenevere or Anaïtis, nor one-tenth as fond of her as he had been of Chloris. In the first place, he suspected that Florimel had been invented by his father, and Coth and Jurgen had never any tastes in common: and in the second place, Jurgen could not but see that Florimel thought a great deal of his being an emperor.
"It is my title she loves, not me," reflected Jurgen, sadly, "and her affection is less for that which is really integral to me than for imperial orbs12 and sceptres and such-like external trappings."
And Jurgen would come out of Florimel's cleft13 considerably14 dejected, and would sit alone by the Sea of Blood, and would meditate15 how inequitable it was that the mere16 title of emperor should thus shut him off from sincerity17 and candor18.
"We who are called kings and emperors are men like other men: we are as rightly entitled as other persons to the solace19 of true love and affection: instead, we live in a continuous isolation20, and women offer us all things save their hearts, and we are a lonely folk. No, I cannot believe that Florimel loves me for myself alone: it is my title which dazzles her. And I would that I had never made myself the emperor of Noumaria: for this emperor goes about everywhere in a fabulous21 splendor22, and is, very naturally, resistless in his semi-mythical magnificence. Ah, but these imperial gewgaws distract the thoughts of Florimel from the real Jurgen; so that the real Jurgen is a person whom she does not understand at all. And it is not fair."
Then, too, he had a sort of prejudice against the way in which Florimel spent her time in seducing23 and murdering young men. It was not possible, of course, actually to blame the girl, since she was the victim of circumstances, and had no choice about becoming a vampire24, once the cat had jumped over her coffin25. Still, Jurgen always felt, in his illogical masculine way, that her vocation26 was not nice. And equally in the illogical way of men, did he persist in coaxing27 Florimel to tell him of her vampiric28 transactions, in spite of his underlying29 feeling that he would prefer to have his wife engaged in some other trade: and the merry little creature would humor him willingly enough, with her purple eyes a-sparkle, and with her vivid lips curling prettily30 back, so as to show her tiny white sharp teeth quite plainly.
She was really very pretty thus, as she told him of what happened in Copenhagen when young Count Osmund went down into the blind beggar-woman's cellar, and what they did with bits of him; and of how one kind of serpent came to have a secret name, which, when cried aloud in the night, with the appropriate ceremony, will bring about delicious happenings; and of what one can do with small unchristened children, if only they do not kiss you, with their moist uncertain little mouths, for then this thing is impossible; and of what use she had made of young Sir Ganelon's skull31, when he was through with it, and she with him; and of what the young priest Wulfnoth had said to the crocodiles at the very last.
"Oh, yes, my life has its amusing side," said Florimel: "and one likes to feel, of course, that one is not wholly out of touch with things, and is even, in one's modest way, contributing to the suppression of folly32. But even so, your majesty, the calls that are made upon one! the things that young men expect of you, as the price of their bodily and spiritual ruin! and the things their relatives say about you! and, above all, the constant strain, the irregular hours, and the continual effort to live up to one's position! Oh, yes, your majesty, I was far happier when I was a consumptive seamstress and took pride in my buttonholes. But from a sister-in-law who only has you in to tea occasionally as a matter of duty, and who is prominent in churchwork, one may, of course, expect anything. And that reminds me that I really must tell your majesty about what happened in the hay-loft, just after the abbot had finished undressing—"
So she would chatter33 away, while Jurgen listened and smiled indulgently. For she certainly was very pretty. And so they kept house in Hell contentedly34 enough until Florimel's vacation was at an end: and then they parted, without any tears but in perfect friendliness35.
And Jurgen always remembered Florimel most pleasantly, but not as a wife with whom he had ever been on terms of actual intimacy36.
Now when this lovely Vampire had quitted him, the Emperor Jurgen, in spite of his general popularity and the deference37 accorded his political views, was not quite happy in Hell.
"It is a comfort, at any rate," said Jurgen, "to discover who originated the theory of democratic government. I have long wondered who started the notion that the way to get a wise decision on any conceivable question was to submit it to a popular vote. Now I know. Well, and the devils may be right in their doctrines38; certainly I cannot go so far as to say they are wrong: but still, at the same time—!"
For instance, this interminable effort to make the universe safe for democracy, this continual warring against Heaven because Heaven clung to a tyrannical form of autocratic government, sounded both logical and magnanimous, and was, of course, the only method of insuring any general triumph for democracy: yet it seemed rather futile40 to Jurgen, since, as he knew now, there was certainly something in the Celestial41 system which made for military efficiency, so that Heaven usually won. Moreover, Jurgen could not get over the fact that Hell was just a notion of his ancestors with which Koshchei had happened to fall in: for Jurgen had never much patience with antiquated42 ideas, particularly when anyone put them into practice, as Koshchei had done.
"Why, this place appears to me a glaring anachronism," said Jurgen, brooding over the fires of Chorasma: "and its methods of tormenting43 conscientious44 people I cannot but consider very crude indeed. The devils are simple-minded and they mean well, as nobody would dream of denying, but that is just it: for hereabouts is needed some more pertinacious45 and efficiently46 disagreeable person—"
And that, of course, reminded him of Dame Lisa: and so it was the thoughts of Jurgen turned again to doing the manly47 thing. And he sighed, and went among the devils tentatively looking and inquiring for that intrepid48 fiend who in the form of a black gentleman had carried off Dame Lisa. But a queer happening befell, and it was that nowhere could Jurgen find the black gentleman, nor did any of the devils know anything about him.
"From what you tell us, Emperor Jurgen," said they all, "your wife was an acidulous49 shrew, and the sort of woman who believes that whatever she does is right."
"By that fact, then, she is forever debarred from entering Hell."
"You tell me news," says Jurgen, "which if generally known would lead many husbands into vicious living."
"But it is notorious that people are saved by faith. And there is no faith stronger than that of a bad-tempered51 woman in her own infallibility. Plainly, this wife of yours is the sort of person who cannot be tolerated by anybody short of the angels. We deduce that your Empress must be in Heaven."
"Well, that sounds reasonable. And so to Heaven I will go, and it may be that there I shall find justice."
"We would have you know," the fiends cried, bristling52, "that in Hell we have all kinds of justice, since our government is an enlightened democracy."
"Just so," says Jurgen: "in an enlightened democracy one has all kinds of justice, and I would not dream of denying it. But you have not, you conceive, that lesser53 plague, my wife; and it is she whom I must continue to look for."
"Oh, as you like," said they, "so long as you do not criticize the exigencies54 of war-time. But certainly we are sorry to see you going into a country where the benighted55 people put up with an autocrat39 Who was not duly elected to His position. And why need you continue seeking your wife's society when it is so much pleasanter living in Hell?"
So the fiends told him the way to Heaven's frontiers, pitying him.
"But the crossing of the frontier must be your affair."
"I have a cantrap," said Jurgen; "and my stay in Hell has taught me how to use it."
Then Jurgen followed his instructions, and went into Meridie, and turned to the left when he had come to the great puddle57 where the adders58 and toads59 are reared, and so passed through the mists of Tartarus, with due care of the wild lightning, and took the second turn to his left—"always in seeking Heaven be guided by your heart," had been the advice given him by devils,—and thus avoiding the abode60 of Jemra, he crossed the bridge over the Bottomless Pit and the solitary61 Narakas. And Brachus, who kept the toll-gate on this bridge, did that of which the fiends had forewarned Jurgen: but for this, of course, there was no help.
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1
requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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afterward
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| adv.后来；以后 | |
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piquancy
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| n.辛辣，辣味，痛快 | |
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dame
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| n.女士 | |
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repartee
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| n.机敏的应答 | |
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cryptic
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| adj.秘密的，神秘的，含义模糊的 | |
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precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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temperament
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| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
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intimidating
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| vt.恐吓，威胁( intimidate的现在分词) | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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orbs
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| abbr.off-reservation boarding school 在校寄宿学校n.球，天体，圆形物( orb的名词复数 ) | |
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cleft
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| n.裂缝；adj.裂开的 | |
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considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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meditate
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| v.想，考虑，（尤指宗教上的）沉思，冥想 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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candor
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| n.坦白，率真 | |
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solace
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| n.安慰；v.使快乐；vt.安慰(物)，缓和 | |
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isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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fabulous
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| adj.极好的；极为巨大的；寓言中的，传说中的 | |
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splendor
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| n.光彩；壮丽，华丽；显赫，辉煌 | |
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seducing
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| 诱奸( seduce的现在分词 )； 勾引； 诱使堕落； 使入迷 | |
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vampire
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| n.吸血鬼 | |
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coffin
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| n.棺材，灵柩 | |
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vocation
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| n.职业，行业 | |
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coaxing
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| v.哄，用好话劝说( coax的现在分词 )；巧言骗取；哄劝，劝诱；“锻炼”效应 | |
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vampiric
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| adj.（似）吸血鬼的 | |
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underlying
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| adj.在下面的，含蓄的，潜在的 | |
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prettily
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| adv.优美地；可爱地 | |
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skull
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| n.头骨；颅骨 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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contentedly
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| adv.心满意足地 | |
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friendliness
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| n.友谊，亲切，亲密 | |
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intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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doctrines
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| n.教条( doctrine的名词复数 )；教义；学说；（政府政策的）正式声明 | |
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autocrat
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| n.独裁者；专横的人 | |
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futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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celestial
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| adj.天体的；天上的 | |
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antiquated
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| adj.陈旧的，过时的 | |
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tormenting
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| 使痛苦的，使苦恼的 | |
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conscientious
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| adj.审慎正直的，认真的，本着良心的 | |
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pertinacious
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| adj.顽固的 | |
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efficiently
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| adv.高效率地，有能力地 | |
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manly
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| adj.有男子气概的；adv.男子般地，果断地 | |
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intrepid
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| adj.无畏的，刚毅的 | |
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acidulous
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| adj.微酸的；苛薄的 | |
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mania
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| n.疯狂；躁狂症，狂热，癖好 | |
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bad-tempered
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| adj.脾气坏的 | |
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52
bristling
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| a.竖立的 | |
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lesser
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| adj.次要的，较小的；adv.较小地，较少地 | |
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54
exigencies
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| n.急切需要 | |
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benighted
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| adj.蒙昧的 | |
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56
shrugged
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| vt.耸肩（shrug的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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puddle
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| n.(雨)水坑，泥潭 | |
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58
adders
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| n.加法器，（欧洲产）蝰蛇（小毒蛇），（北美产无毒的）猪鼻蛇( adder的名词复数 ) | |
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toads
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| n.蟾蜍，癞蛤蟆( toad的名词复数 ) | |
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abode
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| n.住处，住所 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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