Squire1 Headlong, in the meanwhile, was quadripartite in his locality; that is to say, he was superintending the operations in four scenes of action — namely, the cellar, the library, the picture-gallery, and the dining-room,— preparing for the reception of his philosophical3 and dilettanti visitors. His myrmidon on this occasion was a little red-nosed butler, whom nature seemed to have cast in the genuine mould of an antique Silenus, and who waddled4 about the house after his master, wiping his forehead and panting for breath, while the latter bounced from room to room like a cracker5, and was indefatigable6 in his requisitions for the proximity7 of his vinous Achates, whose advice and co-operation he deemed no less necessary in the library than in the cellar. Multitudes of packages had arrived, by land and water, from London, and Liverpool, and Chester, and Manchester, and Birmingham, and various parts of the mountains: books, wine, cheese, globes, mathematical instruments, turkeys, telescopes, hams, tongues, microscopes, quadrants, sextants, fiddles9, flutes10, tea, sugar, electrical machines, figs11, spices, air-pumps, soda-water, chemical apparatus12, eggs, French-horns, drawing books, palettes, oils and colours, bottled ale and porter, scenery for a private theatre, pickles13 and fish-sauce, patent lamps and chandeliers, barrels of oysters14, sofas, chairs, tables, carpets, beds, looking-glasses, pictures, fruits and confections, nuts, oranges, lemons, packages of salt salmon15, and jars of Portugal grapes. These, arriving with infinite rapidity, and in inexhaustible succession, had been deposited at random16, as the convenience of the moment dictated,— sofas in the cellar, chandeliers in the kitchen, hampers17 of ale in the drawing-room, and fiddles and fish-sauce in the library. The servants, unpacking18 all these in furious haste, and flying with them from place to place, according to the tumultuous directions of Squire Headlong and the little fat butler who fumed19 at his heels, chafed20, and crossed, and clashed, and tumbled over one another up stairs and down. All was bustle21, uproar22, and confusion; yet nothing seemed to advance: while the rage and impetuosity of the Squire continued fermenting23 to the highest degree of exasperation24, which he signified, from time to time, by converting some newly unpacked25 article, such as a book, a bottle, a ham, or a fiddle8, into a missile against the head of some unfortunate servant who did not seem to move in a ratio of velocity26 corresponding to the intensity27 of his master’s desires.
In this state of eager preparation we shall leave the happy inhabitants of Headlong Hall, and return to the three philosophers and the unfortunate divine, whom we left limping with a sprained28 ankle, into the breakfast-room of the inn; where his two supporters deposited him safely in a large arm-chair, with his wounded leg comfortably stretched out on another. The morning being extremely cold, he contrived29 to be seated as near the fire as was consistent with his other object of having a perfect command of the table and its apparatus; which consisted not only of the ordinary comforts of tea and toast, but of a delicious supply of new-laid eggs, and a magnificent round of beef; against which Mr Escot immediately pointed30 all the artillery31 of his eloquence32, declaring the use of animal food, conjointly with that of fire, to be one of the principal causes of the present degeneracy of mankind. “The natural and original man,” said he, “lived in the woods: the roots and fruits of the earth supplied his simple nutriment: he had few desires, and no diseases. But, when he began to sacrifice victims on the altar of superstition33, to pursue the goat and the deer, and, by the pernicious invention of fire, to pervert34 their flesh into food, luxury, disease, and premature35 death, were let loose upon the world. Such is clearly the correct interpretation36 of the fable37 of Prometheus, which is the symbolical38 portraiture39 of that disastrous40 epoch41, when man first applied42 fire to culinary purposes, and thereby43 surrendered his liver to the vulture of disease. From that period the stature44 of mankind has been in a state of gradual diminution45, and I have not the least doubt that it will continue to grow small by degrees, and lamentably46 less, till the whole race will vanish imperceptibly from the face of the earth.”
“I cannot agree,” said Mr Foster, “in the consequences being so very disastrous. I admit, that in some respects the use of animal food retards47, though it cannot materially inhibit48, the perfectibility of the species. But the use of fire was indispensably necessary, as ?schylus and Virgil expressly assert, to give being to the various arts of life, which, in their rapid and interminable progress, will finally conduct every individual of the race to the philosophic2 pinnacle49 of pure and perfect felicity.”
“In the controversy50 concerning animal and vegetable food,” said Mr Jenkison, “there is much to be said on both sides; and, the question being in equipoise, I content myself with a mixed diet, and make a point of eating whatever is placed before me, provided it be good in its kind.”
In this opinion his two brother philosophers practically coincided, though they both ran down the theory as highly detrimental51 to the best interests of man.
“I am really astonished,” said the Reverend Doctor Gaster, gracefully52 picking off the supernal53 fragments of an egg he had just cracked, and clearing away a space at the top for the reception of a small piece of butter —“I am really astonished, gentlemen, at the very heterodox opinions I have heard you deliver: since nothing can be more obvious than that all animals were created solely54 and exclusively for the use of man.”
“Even the tiger that devours55 him?” said Mr Escot.
“Certainly,” said Doctor Gaster.
“How do you prove it?” said Mr Escot.
“It requires no proof,” said Doctor Gaster: “it is a point of doctrine56. It is written, therefore it is so.”
“Nothing can be more logical,” said Mr Jenkison. “It has been said,” continued he, “that the ox was expressly made to be eaten by man: it may be said, by a parity57 of reasoning, that man was expressly made to be eaten by the tiger: but as wild oxen exist where there are no men, and men where there are no tigers, it would seem that in these instances they do not properly answer the ends of their creation.”
“It is a mystery,” said Doctor Gaster.
“Not to launch into the question of final causes,” said Mr Escot, helping58 himself at the same time to a slice of beef, “concerning which I will candidly59 acknowledge I am as profoundly ignorant as the most dogmatical theologian possibly can be, I just wish to observe, that the pure and peaceful manners which Homer ascribes to the Lotophagi, and which at this day characterise many nations (the Hindoos, for example, who subsist60 exclusively on the fruits of the earth), depose61 very strongly in favour of a vegetable regimen.”
“It may be said, on the contrary,” said Mr Foster, “that animal food acts on the mind as manure62 does on flowers, forcing them into a degree of expansion they would not otherwise have attained63. If we can imagine a philosophical auricula falling into a train of theoretical meditation64 on its original and natural nutriment, till it should work itself up into a profound abomination of bullock’s blood, sugar-baker’s scum, and other unnatural65 ingredients of that rich composition of soil which had brought it to perfection 1, and insist on being planted in common earth, it would have all the advantage of natural theory on its side that the most strenuous66 advocate of the vegetable system could desire; but it would soon discover the practical error of its retrograde experiment by its lamentable67 inferiority in strength and beauty to all the auriculas around it. I am afraid, in some instances at least, this analogy holds true with respect to mind. No one will make a comparison, in point of mental power, between the Hindoos and the ancient Greeks.”
“The anatomy68 of the human stomach,” said Mr Escot, “and the formation of the teeth, clearly place man in the class of frugivorous animals.”
“Many anatomists,” said Mr Foster, “are of a different opinion, and agree in discerning the characteristics of the carnivorous classes.”
“I am no anatomist,” said Mr Jenkison, “and cannot decide where doctors disagree; in the meantime, I conclude that man is omnivorous69, and on that conclusion I act.”
“Your conclusion is truly orthodox,” said the Reverend Doctor Gaster: “indeed, the loaves and fishes are typical of a mixed diet; and the practice of the Church in all ages shows ——”
“That it never loses sight of the loaves and fishes,” said Mr Escot.
“It never loses sight of any point of sound doctrine,” said the reverend doctor.
The coachman now informed them their time was elapsed; nor could all the pathetic remonstrances70 of the reverend divine, who declared he had not half breakfasted, succeed in gaining one minute from the inexorable Jehu.
“You will allow,” said Mr Foster, as soon as they were again in motion, “that the wild man of the woods could not transport himself over two hundred miles of forest, with as much facility as one of these vehicles transports you and me through the heart of this cultivated country.”
“I am certain,” said Mr Escot, “that a wild man can travel an immense distance without fatigue71; but what is the advantage of locomotion72? The wild man is happy in one spot, and there he remains73: the civilised man is wretched in every place he happens to be in, and then congratulates himself on being accommodated with a machine, that will whirl him to another, where he will be just as miserable74 as ever.”
We shall now leave the mail-coach to find its way to Capel Cerig, the nearest point of the Holyhead road to the dwelling75 of Squire Headlong.
1 squire | |
n.护卫, 侍从, 乡绅 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
2 philosophic | |
adj.哲学的,贤明的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
3 philosophical | |
adj.哲学家的,哲学上的,达观的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
4 waddled | |
v.(像鸭子一样)摇摇摆摆地走( waddle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
5 cracker | |
n.(无甜味的)薄脆饼干 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
6 indefatigable | |
adj.不知疲倦的,不屈不挠的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
7 proximity | |
n.接近,邻近 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
8 fiddle | |
n.小提琴;vi.拉提琴;不停拨弄,乱动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
9 fiddles | |
n.小提琴( fiddle的名词复数 );欺诈;(需要运用手指功夫的)细巧活动;当第二把手v.伪造( fiddle的第三人称单数 );篡改;骗取;修理或稍作改动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
10 flutes | |
长笛( flute的名词复数 ); 细长香槟杯(形似长笛) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
11 figs | |
figures 数字,图形,外形 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
12 apparatus | |
n.装置,器械;器具,设备 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
13 pickles | |
n.腌菜( pickle的名词复数 );处于困境;遇到麻烦;菜酱 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
14 oysters | |
牡蛎( oyster的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
15 salmon | |
n.鲑,大马哈鱼,橙红色的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
16 random | |
adj.随机的;任意的;n.偶然的(或随便的)行动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
17 hampers | |
妨碍,束缚,限制( hamper的第三人称单数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
18 unpacking | |
n.取出货物,拆包[箱]v.从(包裹等)中取出(所装的东西),打开行李取出( unpack的现在分词 );拆包;解除…的负担;吐露(心事等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
19 fumed | |
愤怒( fume的过去式和过去分词 ); 大怒; 发怒; 冒烟 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
20 chafed | |
v.擦热(尤指皮肤)( chafe的过去式 );擦痛;发怒;惹怒 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
21 bustle | |
v.喧扰地忙乱,匆忙,奔忙;n.忙碌;喧闹 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
22 uproar | |
n.骚动,喧嚣,鼎沸 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
23 fermenting | |
v.(使)发酵( ferment的现在分词 );(使)激动;骚动;骚扰 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
24 exasperation | |
n.愤慨 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
25 unpacked | |
v.从(包裹等)中取出(所装的东西),打开行李取出( unpack的过去式和过去分词 );拆包;解除…的负担;吐露(心事等) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
26 velocity | |
n.速度,速率 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
27 intensity | |
n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
28 sprained | |
v.&n. 扭伤 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
29 contrived | |
adj.不自然的,做作的;虚构的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
30 pointed | |
adj.尖的,直截了当的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
31 artillery | |
n.(军)火炮,大炮;炮兵(部队) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
32 eloquence | |
n.雄辩;口才,修辞 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
33 superstition | |
n.迷信,迷信行为 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
34 pervert | |
n.堕落者,反常者;vt.误用,滥用;使人堕落,使入邪路 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
35 premature | |
adj.比预期时间早的;不成熟的,仓促的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
36 interpretation | |
n.解释,说明,描述;艺术处理 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
37 fable | |
n.寓言;童话;神话 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
38 symbolical | |
a.象征性的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
39 portraiture | |
n.肖像画法 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
40 disastrous | |
adj.灾难性的,造成灾害的;极坏的,很糟的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
41 epoch | |
n.(新)时代;历元 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
42 applied | |
adj.应用的;v.应用,适用 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
43 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
44 stature | |
n.(高度)水平,(高度)境界,身高,身材 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
45 diminution | |
n.减少;变小 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
46 lamentably | |
adv.哀伤地,拙劣地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
47 retards | |
使减速( retard的第三人称单数 ); 妨碍; 阻止; 推迟 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
48 inhibit | |
vt.阻止,妨碍,抑制 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
49 pinnacle | |
n.尖塔,尖顶,山峰;(喻)顶峰 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
50 controversy | |
n.争论,辩论,争吵 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
51 detrimental | |
adj.损害的,造成伤害的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
52 gracefully | |
ad.大大方方地;优美地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
53 supernal | |
adj.天堂的,天上的;崇高的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
54 solely | |
adv.仅仅,唯一地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
55 devours | |
吞没( devour的第三人称单数 ); 耗尽; 津津有味地看; 狼吞虎咽地吃光 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
56 doctrine | |
n.教义;主义;学说 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
57 parity | |
n.平价,等价,比价,对等 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
58 helping | |
n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的,辅助的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
59 candidly | |
adv.坦率地,直率而诚恳地 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
60 subsist | |
vi.生存,存在,供养 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
61 depose | |
vt.免职;宣誓作证 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
62 manure | |
n.粪,肥,肥粒;vt.施肥 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
63 attained | |
(通常经过努力)实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 ); 达到; 获得; 达到(某年龄、水平、状况) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
64 meditation | |
n.熟虑,(尤指宗教的)默想,沉思,(pl.)冥想录 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
65 unnatural | |
adj.不自然的;反常的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
66 strenuous | |
adj.奋发的,使劲的;紧张的;热烈的,狂热的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
67 lamentable | |
adj.令人惋惜的,悔恨的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
68 anatomy | |
n.解剖学,解剖;功能,结构,组织 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
69 omnivorous | |
adj.杂食的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
70 remonstrances | |
n.抱怨,抗议( remonstrance的名词复数 ) | |
参考例句: |
|
|
71 fatigue | |
n.疲劳,劳累 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
72 locomotion | |
n.运动,移动 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
73 remains | |
n.剩余物,残留物;遗体,遗迹 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
74 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
75 dwelling | |
n.住宅,住所,寓所 | |
参考例句: |
|
|
欢迎访问英文小说网 |