From which May Be Seen whence Arose the Discussion Between Ivan Ivanovitch and Ivan Nikiforovitch
One morning — it was in July — Ivan Ivanovitch was lying on his balcony. The day was warm; the air was dry, and came in gusts1. Ivan Ivanovitch had been to town, to the mower’s, and at the farm, and had succeeded in asking all the muzhiks and women whom he met all manner of questions. He was fearfully tired and had laid down to rest. As he lay there, he looked at the storehouse, the courtyard, the sheds, the chickens running about, and thought to himself, “Heavens! What a well-to-do man I am! What is there that I have not? Birds, buildings, granaries, everything I take a fancy to; genuine distilled2 vodka; pears and plums in the orchard3; poppies, cabbages, peas in the garden; what is there that I have not? I should like to know what there is that I have not?”
As he put this question to himself, Ivan Ivanovitch reflected; and meantime his eyes, in their search after fresh objects, crossed the fence into Ivan Nikiforovitch’s yard and involuntarily took note of a curious sight. A fat woman was bringing out clothes, which had been packed away, and spreading them out on the line to air. Presently an old uniform with worn trimmings was swinging its sleeves in the air and embracing a brocade gown; from behind it peeped a court-coat, with buttons stamped with coats-of-arms, and moth-eaten collar; and white kersymere pantaloons with spots, which had once upon a time clothed Ivan Nikiforovitch’s legs, and might now possibly fit his fingers. Behind them were speedily hung some more in the shape of the letter pi. Then came a blue Cossack jacket, which Ivan Nikiforovitch had had made twenty years before, when he was preparing to enter the militia4, and allowed his moustache to grow. And one after another appeared a sword, projecting into the air like a spit, and the skirts of a grass-green caftan-like garment, with copper5 buttons the size of a five-kopek piece, unfolded themselves. From among the folds peeped a vest bound with gold, with a wide opening in front. The vest was soon concealed6 by an old petticoat belonging to his dead grandmother, with pockets which would have held a water-melon.
All these things piled together formed a very interesting spectacle for Ivan Ivanovitch; while the sun’s rays, falling upon a blue or green sleeve, a red binding7, or a scrap8 of gold brocade, or playing in the point of a sword, formed an unusual sight, similar to the representations of the Nativity given at farmhouses9 by wandering bands; particularly that part where the throng10 of people, pressing close together, gaze at King Herod in his golden crown or at Anthony leading his goat.
Presently the old woman crawled, grunting11, from the storeroom, dragging after her an old-fashioned saddle with broken stirrups, worn leather holsters, and saddle-cloth, once red, with gilt12 embroidery13 and copper disks.
“Here’s a stupid woman,” thought Ivan Ivanovitch. “She’ll be dragging Ivan Nikiforovitch out and airing him next.”
Ivan Ivanovitch was not so far wrong in his surmise14. Five minutes later, Ivan Nikiforovitch’s nankeen trousers appeared, and took nearly half the yard to themselves. After that she fetched out a hat and a gun. “What’s the meaning of this?” thought Ivan Ivanovitch. “I never knew Ivan Nikiforovitch had a gun. What does he want with it? Whether he shoots, or not, he keeps a gun! Of what use is it to him? But it’s a splendid thing. I have long wanted just such a one. I should like that gun very much: I like to amuse myself with a gun. Hello, there, woman, woman!” shouted Ivan Ivanovitch, beckoning15 to her.
The old woman approached the fence.
“What’s that you have there, my good woman?”
“A gun, as you see.”
“What sort of a gun?”
“Who knows what sort of a gun? If it were mine, perhaps I should know what it is made of; but it is my master’s, therefore I know nothing of it.”
Ivan Ivanovitch rose, and began to examine the gun on all sides, and forgot to reprove the old woman for hanging it and the sword out to air.
“It must be iron,” went on the old woman.
“Hm, iron! why iron?” said Ivan Ivanovitch. “Has your master had it long?”
“Yes; long, perhaps.”
“It’s a nice gun!” continued Ivan Ivanovitch. “I will ask him for it. What can he want with it? I’ll make an exchange with him for it. Is your master at home, my good woman?”
“Yes.”
“What is he doing? lying down?”
“Yes, lying down.”
“Very well, I will come to him.”
Ivan Ivanovitch dressed himself, took his well-seasoned stick for the benefit of the dogs, for, in Mirgorod, there are more dogs than people to be met in the street, and went out.
Although Ivan Nikiforovitch’s house was next door to Ivan Ivanovitch’s, so that you could have got from one to the other by climbing the fence, yet Ivan Ivanovitch went by way of the street. From the street it was necessary to turn into an alley16 which was so narrow that if two one-horse carts chanced to meet they could not get out, and were forced to remain there until the drivers, seizing the hind-wheels, dragged them back in opposite directions into the street, whilst pedestrians17 drew aside like flowers growing by the fence on either hand. Ivan Ivanovitch’s waggon18-shed adjoined this alley on one side; and on the other were Ivan Nikiforovitch’s granary, gate, and pigeon-house.
Ivan Ivanovitch went up to the gate and rattled19 the latch20. Within arose the barking of dogs; but the motley-haired pack ran back, wagging their tails when they saw the well-known face. Ivan Ivanovitch traversed the courtyard, in which were collected Indian doves, fed by Ivan Nikiforovitch’s own hand, melon-rinds, vegetables, broken wheels, barrel-hoops, and a small boy wallowing with dirty blouse — a picture such as painters love. The shadows of the fluttering clothes covered nearly the whole of the yard and lent it a degree of coolness. The woman greeted him with a bend of her head and stood, gaping21, in one spot. The front of the house was adorned22 with a small porch, with its roof supported on two oak pillars — a welcome protection from the sun, which at that season in Little Russia loves not to jest, and bathes the pedestrian from head to foot in perspiration23. It may be judged how powerful Ivan Ivanovitch’s desire to obtain the coveted24 article was when he made up his mind, at such an hour, to depart from his usual custom, which was to walk abroad only in the evening.
The room which Ivan Ivanovitch entered was quite dark, for the shutters25 were closed; and the ray of sunlight passing through a hole made in one of them took on the colours of the rainbow, and, striking the opposite wall, sketched26 upon it a parti-coloured picture of the outlines of roofs, trees, and the clothes suspended in the yard, only upside down. This gave the room a peculiar27 half-light.
“God assist you!” said Ivan Ivanovitch.
“Ah! how do you do, Ivan Ivanovitch?” replied a voice from the corner of the room. Then only did Ivan Ivanovitch perceive Ivan Nikiforovitch lying upon a rug which was spread on the floor. “Excuse me for appearing before you in a state of nature.”
“Not at all. You have been asleep, Ivan Nikiforovitch?”
“I have been asleep. Have you been asleep, Ivan Ivanovitch?”
“I have.”
“And now you have risen?”
“Now I have risen. Christ be with you, Ivan Nikiforovitch! How can you sleep until this time? I have just come from the farm. There’s very fine barley28 on the road, charming! and the hay is tall and soft and golden!”
“Gorpina!” shouted Ivan Nikiforovitch, “fetch Ivan Ivanovitch some vodka, and some pastry29 and sour cream!”
“Fine weather we’re having to-day.”
“Don’t praise it, Ivan Ivanovitch! Devil take it! You can’t get away from the heat.”
“Now, why need you mention the devil! Ah, Ivan Nikiforovitch! you will recall my words when it’s too late. You will suffer in the next world for such godless words.”
“How have I offended you, Ivan Ivanovitch? I have not attacked your father nor your mother. I don’t know how I have insulted you.”
“Enough, enough, Ivan Nikiforovitch!”
“By Heavens, Ivan Ivanovitch, I did not insult you!”
“It’s strange that the quails30 haven’t come yet to the whistle.”
“Think what you please, but I have not insulted you in any way.”
“I don’t know why they don’t come,” said Ivan Ivanovitch, as if he did not hear Ivan Nikiforovitch; “it is more than time for them already; but they seem to need more time for some reason.”
“You say that the barley is good?”
“Splendid barley, splendid!”
A silence ensued.
“So you are having your clothes aired, Ivan Nikiforovitch?” said Ivan Ivanovitch at length.
“Yes; those cursed women have ruined some beautiful clothes; almost new they were too. Now I’m having them aired; the cloth is fine and good. They only need turning to make them fit to wear again.”
“One thing among them pleased me extremely, Ivan Nikiforovitch.”
“What was that?”
“Tell me, please, what use do you make of the gun that has been put to air with the clothes?” Here Ivan Ivanovitch offered his snuff. “May I ask you to do me the favour?”
“By no means! take it yourself; I will use my own.” Thereupon Ivan Nikiforovitch felt about him, and got hold of his snuff-box. “That stupid woman! So she hung the gun out to air. That Jew at Sorotchintzi makes good snuff. I don’t know what he puts in it, but it is so very fragrant31. It is a little like tansy. Here, take a little and chew it; isn’t it like tansy?”
“Ivan Nikiforovitch, I want to talk about that gun; what are you going to do with it? You don’t need it.”
“Why don’t I need it? I might want to go shooting.”
“God be with you, Ivan Nikiforovitch! When will you go shooting? At the millennium32, perhaps? So far as I know, or any one can recollect33, you never killed even a duck; yes, and you are not built to go shooting. You have a dignified34 bearing and figure; how are you to drag yourself about the marshes35, especially when your garment, which it is not polite to mention in conversation by name, is being aired at this very moment? No; you require rest, repose36.” Ivan Ivanovitch as has been hinted at above, employed uncommonly37 picturesque39 language when it was necessary to persuade any one. How he talked! Heavens, how he could talk! “Yes, and you require polite actions. See here, give it to me!”
“The idea! The gun is valuable; you can’t find such guns anywhere nowadays. I bought it of a Turk when I joined the militia; and now, to give it away all of a sudden! Impossible! It is an indispensable article.”
“Indispensable for what?”
“For what? What if robbers should attack the house? . . . Indispensable indeed! Glory to God! I know that a gun stands in my storehouse.”
“A fine gun that! Why, Ivan Nikiforovitch, the lock is ruined.”
“What do you mean by ruined? It can be set right; all that needs to be done is to rub it with hemp-oil, so that it may not rust40.”
“I see in your words, Ivan Nikiforovitch, anything but a friendly disposition41 towards me. You will do nothing for me in token of friendship.”
“How can you say, Ivan Ivanovitch, that I show you no friendship? You ought to be ashamed of yourself. Your oxen pasture on my steppes and I have never interfered42 with them. When you go to Poltava, you always ask for my waggon, and what then? Have I ever refused? Your children climb over the fence into my yard and play with my dogs — I never say anything; let them play, so long as they touch nothing; let them play!”
“If you won’t give it to me, then let us make some exchange.”
“What will you give me for it?” Thereupon Ivan Nikiforovitch raised himself on his elbow, and looked at Ivan Ivanovitch.
“I will give you my dark-brown sow, the one I have fed in the sty. A magnificent sow. You’ll see, she’ll bring you a litter of pigs next year.”
“I do not see, Ivan Ivanovitch, how you can talk so. What could I do with your sow? Make a funeral dinner for the devil?”
“Again! You can’t get along without the devil! It’s a sin! by Heaven, it’s a sin, Ivan Nikiforovitch!”
“What do you mean, Ivan Ivanovitch, by offering the deuce knows what kind of a sow for my gun?”
“Why is she ‘the deuce knows what,’ Ivan Nikiforovitch?”
“Why? You can judge for yourself perfectly43 well; here’s the gun, a known thing; but the deuce knows what that sow is like! If it had not been you who said it, Ivan Ivanovitch, I might have put an insulting construction on it.”
“What defect have you observed in the sow?”
“For what do you take me — for a sow?”
“Sit down, sit down! I won’t — No matter about your gun; let it rot and rust where it stands in the corner of the storeroom. I don’t want to say anything more about it!”
After this a pause ensued.
“They say,” began Ivan Ivanovitch, “that three kings have declared war against our Tzar.”
“Yes, Peter Feodorovitch told me so. What sort of war is this, and why is it?”
“I cannot say exactly, Ivan Nikiforovitch, what the cause is. I suppose the kings want us to adopt the Turkish faith.”
“Fools! They would have it,” said Ivan Nikiforovitch, raising his head.
“So, you see, our Tzar has declared war on them in consequence. ‘No,’ says he, ‘do you adopt the faith of Christ!’”
“Oh, our people will beat them, Ivan Ivanovitch!”
“They will. So you won’t exchange the gun, Ivan Nikiforovitch?”
“It’s a strange thing to me, Ivan Ivanovitch, that you, who seem to be a man distinguished44 for sense, should talk such nonsense. What a fool I should be!”
“Sit down, sit down. God be with it! let it burst! I won’t mention it again.”
At this moment lunch was brought in.
Ivan Ivanovitch drank a glass and ate a pie with sour cream. “Listen, Ivan Nikiforovitch: I will give you, besides the sow, two sacks of oats. You did not sow any oats. You’ll have to buy some this year in any case.”
“By Heaven, Ivan Ivanovitch, I must tell you you are very foolish! Who ever heard of swapping45 a gun for two sacks of oats? Never fear, you don’t offer your coat.”
“But you forget, Ivan Nikiforovitch, that I am to give you the sow too.”
“What! two sacks of oats and a sow for a gun?”
“Why, is it too little?”
“For a gun?”
“Of course, for a gun.”
“Two sacks for a gun?”
“Two sacks, not empty, but filled with oats; and you’ve forgotten the sow.”
“Kiss your sow; and if you don’t like that, then go to the Evil One!”
“Oh, get angry now, do! See here; they’ll stick your tongue full of red-hot needles in the other world for such godless words. After a conversation with you, one has to wash one’s face and hands and fumigate46 one’s self.”
“Excuse me, Ivan Ivanovitch; my gun is a choice thing, a most curious thing; and besides, it is a very agreeable decoration in a room.”
“You go on like a fool about that gun of yours, Ivan Nikiforovitch,” said Ivan Ivanovitch with vexation; for he was beginning to be really angry.
“And you, Ivan Ivanovitch, are a regular goose!”
If Ivan Nikiforovitch had not uttered that word they would not have quarrelled, but would have parted friends as usual; but now things took quite another turn. Ivan Ivanovitch flew into a rage.
“What was that you said, Ivan Nikiforovitch?” he said, raising his voice.
“I said you were like a goose, Ivan Ivanovitch!”
“How dare you, sir, forgetful of decency47 and the respect due to a man’s rank and family, insult him with such a disgraceful name!”
“What is there disgraceful about it? And why are you flourishing your hands so, Ivan Ivanovitch?”
“How dared you, I repeat, in disregard of all decency, call me a goose?”
“I spit on your head, Ivan Ivanovitch! What are you screeching48 about?”
Ivan Ivanovitch could no longer control himself. His lips quivered; his mouth lost its usual V shape, and became like the letter O; he glared so that he was terrible to look at. This very rarely happened with Ivan Ivanovitch: it was necessary that he should be extremely angry at first.
“Then, I declare to you,” exclaimed Ivan Ivanovitch, “that I will no longer know you!”
“A great pity! By Heaven, I shall never weep on that account!” retorted Ivan Nikiforovitch. He lied, by Heaven, he lied! for it was very annoying to him.
“I will never put my foot inside your house gain!”
“Oho, ho!” said Ivan Nikiforovitch, vexed49, yet not knowing himself what to do, and rising to his feet, contrary to his custom. “Hey, there, woman, boy!” Thereupon there appeared at the door the same fat woman and the small boy, now enveloped50 in a long and wide coat. “Take Ivan Ivanovitch by the arms and lead him to the door!”
“What! a nobleman?” shouted Ivan Ivanovitch with a feeling of vexation and dignity. “Just do it if you dare! Come on! I’ll annihilate51 you and your stupid master. The crows won’t be able to find your bones.” Ivan Ivanovitch spoke52 with uncommon38 force when his spirit was up.
The group presented a striking picture: Ivan Nikiforovitch standing53 in the middle of the room; the woman with her mouth wide open and a senseless, terrified look on her face, and Ivan Ivanovitch with uplifted hand, as the Roman tribunes are depicted54. This was a magnificent spectacle: and yet there was but one spectator; the boy in the ample coat, who stood quite quietly and picked his nose with his finger.
Finally Ivan Ivanovitch took his hat. “You have behaved well, Ivan Nikiforovitch, extremely well! I shall remember it.”
“Go, Ivan Ivanovitch, go! and see that you don’t come in my way: if you do, I’ll beat your ugly face to a jelly, Ivan Ivanovitch!”
“Take that, Ivan Nikiforovitch!” retorted Ivan Ivanovitch, making an insulting gesture and banged the door, which squeaked55 and flew open again behind him.
Ivan Nikiforovitch appeared at it and wanted to add something more; but Ivan Ivanovitch did not glance back and hastened from the yard.
收听单词发音 |
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gusts
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| 一阵强风( gust的名词复数 )； （怒、笑等的）爆发； （感情的）迸发； 发作 | |
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distilled
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| adj.由蒸馏得来的v.蒸馏( distil的过去式和过去分词 )；从…提取精华 | |
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orchard
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| n.果园，果园里的全部果树，(美俚)棒球场 | |
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militia
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| n.民兵，民兵组织 | |
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copper
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| n.铜；铜币；铜器；adj.铜(制)的；(紫)铜色的 | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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binding
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| 有约束力的，有效的，应遵守的 | |
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scrap
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| n.碎片；废料；v.废弃，报废 | |
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farmhouses
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| n.农舍，农场的主要住房( farmhouse的名词复数 ) | |
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throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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grunting
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| 咕哝的，呼噜的 | |
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gilt
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| adj.镀金的；n.金边证券 | |
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embroidery
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| n.绣花，刺绣；绣制品 | |
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surmise
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| v./n.猜想，推测 | |
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beckoning
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| adj.引诱人的，令人心动的v.（用头或手的动作）示意，召唤( beckon的现在分词 ) | |
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alley
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| n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路 | |
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pedestrians
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| n.步行者( pedestrian的名词复数 ) | |
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waggon
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| n.运货马车，运货车；敞篷车箱 | |
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rattled
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| 慌乱的，恼火的 | |
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latch
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| n.门闩，窗闩；弹簧锁 | |
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gaping
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| adj.口的；张口的；敞口的；多洞穴的v.目瞪口呆地凝视( gape的现在分词 )；张开，张大 | |
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adorned
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| [计]被修饰的 | |
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perspiration
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| n.汗水；出汗 | |
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coveted
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| adj.令人垂涎的；垂涎的，梦寐以求的v.贪求，觊觎(covet的过去分词)；垂涎；贪图 | |
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shutters
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| 百叶窗( shutter的名词复数 )； （照相机的）快门 | |
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sketched
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| v.草拟（sketch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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barley
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| n.大麦，大麦粒 | |
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pastry
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| n.油酥面团，酥皮糕点 | |
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quails
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| 鹌鹑( quail的名词复数 )； 鹌鹑肉 | |
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fragrant
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| adj.芬香的，馥郁的，愉快的 | |
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millennium
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| n.一千年，千禧年；太平盛世 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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marshes
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| n.沼泽，湿地( marsh的名词复数 ) | |
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repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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uncommonly
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| adv. 稀罕(极，非常) | |
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uncommon
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| adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的 | |
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picturesque
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| adj.美丽如画的，（语言）生动的，绘声绘色的 | |
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rust
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| n.锈；v.生锈；(脑子)衰退 | |
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disposition
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| n.性情，性格；意向，倾向；排列，部署 | |
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interfered
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| v.干预( interfere的过去式和过去分词 )；调停；妨碍；干涉 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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swapping
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| 交换，交换技术 | |
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fumigate
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| v.烟熏；用香薰 | |
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decency
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| n.体面，得体，合宜，正派，庄重 | |
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48
screeching
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| v.发出尖叫声( screech的现在分词 )；发出粗而刺耳的声音；高叫 | |
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vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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50
enveloped
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| v.包围，笼罩，包住( envelop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51
annihilate
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| v.使无效；毁灭；取消 | |
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52
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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53
standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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depicted
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| 描绘，描画( depict的过去式和过去分词 )； 描述 | |
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squeaked
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| v.短促地尖叫( squeak的过去式和过去分词 )；吱吱叫；告密；充当告密者 | |
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