"How is it that the head which we can only see surrounded with a halo, or a shadow, when the splendors4 of achievement or the infamy6 of shame instruct our eyes, is by the uninstructed eye observed as wholly vulgar? We all profess7 to be physiognomists; how is it we are so lamentably8 mistaken in our judgments9? Here was a woman in whom my ignorant eyes saw nothing at all remarkable10 except golden hair of unusual beauty. When I say golden, I am not speaking loosely. I do not mean red or flaxen hair, but hair actually resembling burnished11 gold more than anything else. Its ripples12 on her brow caught the light like a coronet. This was her one beauty, and it was superb. For the rest, her features were characterless. Her figure was tall and full; not graceful13, but sweepingly14 imposing15. At first I noticed nothing about her except the braided splendor5 of her glorious hair."
He rose, and went into his bedroom, from which he returned with a small trinket-box in his hand. This he laid open on the table, disclosing a long strand16 of exquisite17 fair hair lying on a cushion of dark-blue velvet18.
"Look at that," he said. "Might it not have been cut from an angel's head?"
"It is certainly wonderful."
"It must have been hair like this which crowned the infamous19 head of Lucrezia Borgia," he said, bitterly. "She, too, had golden hair; but hers must have been of paler tint20, like her nature."
He resumed his seat, and, fixing his eyes upon the lock, continued:
"She was one of Ottilie's friends—dear friends, they called each other,—which meant that they kissed each other profusely21, and told each other all their secrets, or as much as the lying nature of the sex permitted and suggested. It is, of course, impossible for me to disentangle my present knowledge from my past impressions so as to give you a clear description of what I then thought of Agalma. Enough that, as a matter of fact, I distinctly remember not to have admired her, and to have told Ottilie so; and when Ottilie, in surprise at my insensibility, assured me that men were in general wonderfully charmed with her (though, for her part, she had never understood why), I answered, and answered sincerely, that it might be true with the less refined order of men, but men of taste would certainly be rather repelled22 from her.
"This opinion of mine, or some report of it, reached Agalma.
"It may have been the proximate cause of my sorrows. Without this stimulus23 to her vanity, she might have left me undisturbed. I don't know. All I know is, that over many men Agalma exercised great influence, and that over me she exercised the spell of fascination24. No other word will explain her influence; for it was not based on excellences25 such as the mind could recognize to be attractions; it was based on a mysterious personal power, something awful in its mysteriousness, as all demoniac powers are. One source of her influence over men I think I can explain: she at once captivated and repelled them. By artful appeals to their vanity, she made them interested in her and in her opinion of them, and yet kept herself inaccessible26 by a pride which was the more fascinating because it always seemed about to give way. Her instinct fastened upon the weak point in those she approached. This made her seductive to men, because she flattered their weak points; and hateful to women, because she flouted27 and disclosed their weak points.
"Her influence over me began in the following way. One day, at a picnic, having been led by her into a conversation respecting the relative inferiority of the feminine intellect, I was forced to speak rather more earnestly than usual, when suddenly she turned to me and exclaimed in a lower voice:
"'I am willing to credit anything you say; only pray don't continue talking to me so earnestly.'
"'Why not?' I asked, surprised.
"'May I ask why not?' I asked.
"'Because, if you do, somebody may be jealous.' There was a laughing defiance30 in her eye as she spoke31.
"'And pray, who has a right to be jealous of me?'
"'Oh! you know well enough.'
"It was true; I did know; and she knew that I knew it. To my shame be it said that I was weak enough to yield to an equivocation32 which I now see to have been disloyal, but which I then pretended to have been no more than delicacy33 to Ottilie. As, in point of fact, there had never been a word passed between us respecting our mutual34 feelings, I considered myself bound in honor to assume that there was nothing tacitly acknowledged.
"Piqued35 by her tone and look, I disavowed the existence of any claims upon my attention; and to prove the sincerity36 of my words, I persisted in addressing my attentions to her. Once or twice I fancied I caught flying glances, in which some of the company criticised my conduct, and Ottilie also seemed to me unusually quiet. But her manner, though quiet, was untroubled and unchanged. I talked less to her than usual, partly because I talked so much to Agalma, and partly because I felt that Agalma's eyes were on us. But no shadow of 'temper' or reserve darkened our interchange of speech.
"On our way back, I know not what devil prompted me to ask Agalma whether she had really been in earnest in her former allusion38 to 'somebody.'
"'Yes,' she said, 'I was in earnest then.'
"'And now?'
"'Now I have doubts. I may have been misinformed. It's no concern of mine, anyway; but I had been given to understand. However, I admit that my own eyes have not confirmed what my ears heard.'
"This speech was irritating on two separate grounds. It implied that people were talking freely of my attachment39, which, until I had formally acknowledged it, I resented as an impertinence; and it implied that, from personal observation, Agalma doubted Ottilie's feelings for me. This alarmed my quick-retreating pride! I, too, began to doubt. Once let loose on that field, imagination soon saw shapes enough to confirm any doubt. Ottilie's manner certainly had seemed less tender—nay, somewhat indifferent—during the last few days. Had the arrival of that heavy lout28, her cousin, anything to do with this change?
"Not to weary you by recalling all the unfolding stages of this miserable40 story with the minuteness of detail which my own memory morbidly42 lingers on, I will hurry to the catastrophe43. I grew more and more doubtful of the existence in Ottilie's mind of any feeling stronger than friendship for me; and as this doubt strengthened, there arose the flattering suspicion that I was becoming an object of greater interest to Agalma, who had quite changed her tone towards me, and had become serious in her speech and manner. Weeks passed. Ottilie had fallen from her pedestal, and had taken her place among agreeable acquaintances. One day I suddenly learned that Ottilie was engaged to her cousin.
"You will not wonder that Agalma, who before this had exercised great fascination over me, now doubly became an object of the most tender interest. I fell madly in love. Hitherto I had never known that passion. My feeling for Ottilie I saw was but the inarticulate stammerings of the mighty44 voice which now sounded throught the depths of my nature. The phrase, madly in love, is no exaggeration; madness alone knows such a fever of the brain, such a tumult45 of the heart. It was not that reason was overpowered; on the contrary, reason was intensely active, but active with that logic46 of flames which lights up the vision of maniacs47.
"Although, of course, my passion was but too evident to every one, I dreaded48 its premature49 avowal50, lest I should lose her; and almost equally dreaded delay, lest I should suffer from that also. At length the avowal was extorted51 from me by jealousy52 of a brilliant Pole—Korinski—who had recently appeared in our circle, and was obviously casting me in the shade by his superior advantages of novelty, of personal attraction, and of a romantic history. She accepted me; and now, for a time, I was the happiest of mortals. The fever of the last few weeks was abating53; it gave place to a deep tide of hopeful joy. Could I have died then! Could I have even died shortly afterwards, when I knew the delicious mystery of a jealousy not too absorbing! For you must know that my happiness was brief. Jealousy, to which all passion of a deep and exacting54 power is inevitably55 allied56, soon began to disturb my content. Agalma had no tenderness. She permitted caresses57, never returned them. She was ready enough to listen to all my plans for the future, so long as the recital58 moved amid details of fortune and her position in society—that is, so long as her vanity was interested; but I began to observe with pain that her thoughts never rested on tender domesticities and poetic59 anticipations60. This vexed61 me more and more. The very spell which she exercised over me made her want of tenderness more intolerable. I yearned62 for her love—for some sympathy with the vehement63 passion which was burning within me; and she was as marble.
"You will not be surprised to hear that I reproached her bitterly for her indifference64. That is the invariable and fatal folly65 of lovers—they seem to imagine that a heart can be scolded into tenderness! To my reproaches she at first answered impatiently that they were unjust; that it was not her fault if her nature was less expansive than mine; and that it was insulting to be told she was indifferent to the man whom she had consented to marry. Later she answered my reproaches with haughty66 defiance, one day intimating that if I really thought what I said, and repented67 our engagement, it would be most prudent68 for us to separate ere it was too late. This quieted me for a while. But it brought no balm to my wounds.
"And now fresh tortures were added. Korinski became quite marked in his attentions to Agalma. These she received with evident delight; so much so, that I saw by the glances of others that they were scandalized at it; and this, of course, increased my pain. My renewed reproaches only made her manner colder to me; to Korinski it became what I would gladly have seen towards myself.
"The stress and agitation69 of those days were too much for me. I fell ill, and for seven weeks lay utterly70 prostrate71. On recovering, this note was handed to me. It was from Agalma."
I should open it and read. It ran thus:
"I have thought much of what you have so often said, that it would be for the happiness of both if our unfortunate engagement were set aside. That you have a real affection for me I believe, and be assured that I once had a real affection for you; not, perhaps, the passionate73 love which a nature so exacting as yours demands, and which I earnestly hope it may one day find, but a genuine affection nevertheless, which would have made me proud to share your lot. But it would be uncandid in me to pretend that this now exists. Your incessant74 jealousy, the angry feelings excited by your reproaches, the fretful irritation75 in which for some time we have lived together, has completely killed what love I had, and I no longer feel prepared to risk the happiness of both of us by a marriage. What you said the other night convinces me that it is even your desire our engagement should cease. It is certainly mine. Let us try to think kindly76 of each other and meet again as friends.
AGALMA LIEBENSTEIN."
When I had read this and returned it to him, he said:
"You see that this was written on the day I was taken ill. Whether she knew that I was helpless I know not. At any rate, she never sent to inquire after me. She went off to Paris; Korinski followed her; and—as I quickly learned on going once more into society— they were married! Did you ever, in the whole course of your experience, hear of such heartless conduct?"
Bourgonef asked this with a ferocity which quite startled me. I did not answer him; for, in truth, I could not see that Agalma had been very much to blame, even as he told the story, and felt sure that could I have heard her version it would have worn a very different aspect. That she was cold, and disappointed him, might be true enough, but there was no crime; and I perfectly78 understood how thoroughly79 odious80 he must have made himself to her by his exactions and reproaches. I understood this, perhaps, all the better, because in the course of his narrative81 Bourgonef had revealed to me aspects of his nature which were somewhat repulsive82. Especially was I struck with his morbid41 vanity, and his readiness to impute83 low motives84 to others. This unpleasant view of his character—a character in many respects so admirable for its generosity85 and refinement—was deepened as he went on, instead of awaiting my reply to his question.
"For a wrong so measureless, you will naturally ask what measureless revenge I sought."
The idea had not occurred to me; indeed I could see no wrong, and this notion of revenge was somewhat startling in such a case.
"I debated it long," he continued. "I felt that since I was prevented from arresting any of the evil to myself, I could at least mature my plans for an adequate discharge of just retributions on her. It reveals the impotence resulting from the trammels of modern civilization, that while the possibilities of wrong are infinite, the openings for vengeance86 are few and contemptible87. Only when a man is thrown upon the necessities of this 'wild justice' does he discover how difficult vengeance really is. Had Agalma been my wife, I could have wreaked89 my wrath90 upon her, with assurance that some of the torture she inflicted91 on me was to fall on her. Not having this power what was I to do? Kill her? That would have afforded one moment of exquisite satisfaction—but to her it would have been simply death—and I wanted to kill the heart."
He seemed working with an insane passion, so that I regarded him with disgust, mingled92 with some doubts as to what horrors he was about to relate.
"My plan was chosen. The only way to reach her heart was to strike through her husband. For several hours daily I practised with the pistol, until—in spite of only having a left hand—I acquired fatal skill. But this was not enough. Firing at a mark is simple work. Firing at a man—especially one holding a pistol pointed77 at you—is altogether different. I had too often heard of 'crack shots' missing their men, to rely confidently on my skill in the shooting gallery. It was necessary that my eye and hand should be educated to familiarity with the real object. Part of the cause why duelists miss their man is from the trepidation93 of fear. I was without fear. At no moment in my life have I been afraid; and the chance of being shot by Korinski I counted as nothing. The other cause is unfamiliarity94 with the mark. This I secured myself against by getting a lay figure of Korinski's height, dressing37 it to resemble him, placing a pistol in its hand, and then practising at this mark in the woods. After a short time I could send a bullet through the thorax without taking more than a hasty glance at the figure.
"Thus prepared, I started for Paris. But you will feel for me when you learn that my hungry heart was baffled of its vengeance, and baffled for ever. Agalma had been carried off by scarlet95 fever. Korinski had left Paris, and I felt no strong promptings to follow him, and wreak88 on him a futile96 vengeance. It was on HER my wrath had been concentrated, and I gnashed my teeth at the thought that she had escaped me.
"My story is ended. The months of gloomy depression which succeeded, now that I was no longer sustained by the hope of vengeance, I need not speak of. My existence was desolate97, and even now the desolation continues over the whole region of the emotions. I carry a dead heart within me."
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1
juncture
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| n.时刻，关键时刻，紧要关头 | |
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doom
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| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
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3
alas
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| int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等) | |
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4
splendors
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| n.华丽( splendor的名词复数 )；壮丽；光辉；显赫 | |
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splendor
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| n.光彩；壮丽，华丽；显赫，辉煌 | |
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6
infamy
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| n.声名狼藉，出丑，恶行 | |
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profess
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| v.声称，冒称，以...为业，正式接受入教，表明信仰 | |
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lamentably
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| adv.哀伤地，拙劣地 | |
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judgments
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| 判断( judgment的名词复数 )； 鉴定； 评价； 审判 | |
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10
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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11
burnished
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| adj.抛光的，光亮的v.擦亮（金属等），磨光( burnish的过去式和过去分词 )；被擦亮，磨光 | |
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12
ripples
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| 逐渐扩散的感觉( ripple的名词复数 ) | |
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graceful
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| adj.优美的，优雅的；得体的 | |
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sweepingly
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| adv.扫荡地 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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strand
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| vt.使（船）搁浅，使（某人）困于（某地） | |
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exquisite
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| adj.精美的；敏锐的；剧烈的，感觉强烈的 | |
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velvet
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| n.丝绒，天鹅绒；adj.丝绒制的，柔软的 | |
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infamous
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| adj.声名狼藉的，臭名昭著的，邪恶的 | |
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tint
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| n.淡色，浅色；染发剂；vt.着以淡淡的颜色 | |
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21
profusely
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| ad.abundantly | |
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repelled
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| v.击退( repel的过去式和过去分词 )；使厌恶；排斥；推开 | |
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23
stimulus
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| n.刺激，刺激物，促进因素，引起兴奋的事物 | |
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fascination
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| n.令人着迷的事物，魅力，迷恋 | |
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excellences
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| n.卓越( excellence的名词复数 )；（只用于所修饰的名词后）杰出的；卓越的；出类拔萃的 | |
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inaccessible
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| adj.达不到的，难接近的 | |
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flouted
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| v.藐视，轻视( flout的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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lout
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| n.粗鄙的人；举止粗鲁的人 | |
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peculiar
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| adj.古怪的，异常的；特殊的，特有的 | |
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defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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32
equivocation
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| n.模棱两可的话，含糊话 | |
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delicacy
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| n.精致，细微，微妙，精良；美味，佳肴 | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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piqued
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| v.伤害…的自尊心( pique的过去式和过去分词 )；激起（好奇心） | |
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sincerity
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| n.真诚，诚意；真实 | |
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dressing
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| n.(食物)调料；包扎伤口的用品，敷料 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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40
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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morbid
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| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
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morbidly
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| adv.病态地 | |
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catastrophe
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| n.大灾难，大祸 | |
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mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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tumult
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| n.喧哗；激动，混乱；吵闹 | |
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logic
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| n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性 | |
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47
maniacs
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| n.疯子（maniac的复数形式） | |
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48
dreaded
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| adj.令人畏惧的；害怕的v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的过去式和过去分词) | |
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49
premature
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| adj.比预期时间早的；不成熟的，仓促的 | |
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50
avowal
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| n.公开宣称，坦白承认 | |
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51
extorted
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| v.敲诈( extort的过去式和过去分词 )；曲解 | |
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52
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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53
abating
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| 减少( abate的现在分词 )； 减去； 降价； 撤消（诉讼） | |
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54
exacting
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| adj.苛求的，要求严格的 | |
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55
inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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56
allied
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| adj.协约国的；同盟国的 | |
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57
caresses
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| 爱抚，抚摸( caress的名词复数 ) | |
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recital
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| n.朗诵，独奏会，独唱会 | |
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59
poetic
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| adj.富有诗意的，有诗人气质的，善于抒情的 | |
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anticipations
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| 预期( anticipation的名词复数 )； 预测； （信托财产收益的）预支； 预期的事物 | |
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61
vexed
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| adj.争论不休的；（指问题等）棘手的；争论不休的问题；烦恼的v.使烦恼( vex的过去式和过去分词 )；使苦恼；使生气；详细讨论 | |
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62
yearned
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| 渴望，切盼，向往( yearn的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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vehement
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| adj.感情强烈的；热烈的；(人)有强烈感情的 | |
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64
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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folly
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| n.愚笨，愚蠢，蠢事，蠢行，傻话 | |
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haughty
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| adj.傲慢的，高傲的 | |
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67
repented
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| 对（自己的所为）感到懊悔或忏悔( repent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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prudent
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| adj.谨慎的，有远见的，精打细算的 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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prostrate
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| v.拜倒，平卧，衰竭；adj.拜倒的，平卧的，衰竭的 | |
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crumpled
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| adj. 弯扭的, 变皱的 动词crumple的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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passionate
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| adj.热情的，热烈的，激昂的，易动情的，易怒的，性情暴躁的 | |
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incessant
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| adj.不停的，连续的 | |
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irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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kindly
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| adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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thoroughly
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| adv.完全地，彻底地，十足地 | |
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odious
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| adj.可憎的，讨厌的 | |
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narrative
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| n.叙述，故事；adj.叙事的，故事体的 | |
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repulsive
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| adj.排斥的，使人反感的 | |
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impute
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| v.归咎于 | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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generosity
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| n.大度，慷慨，慷慨的行为 | |
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vengeance
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| n.报复，报仇，复仇 | |
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contemptible
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| adj.可鄙的，可轻视的，卑劣的 | |
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wreak
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| v.发泄；报复 | |
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wreaked
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| 诉诸（武力），施行（暴力），发（脾气）( wreak的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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inflicted
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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trepidation
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| n.惊恐，惶恐 | |
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unfamiliarity
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scarlet
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| n.深红色，绯红色，红衣；adj.绯红色的 | |
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futile
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| adj.无效的，无用的，无希望的 | |
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desolate
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| adj.荒凉的，荒芜的；孤独的，凄凉的；v.使荒芜，使孤寂 | |
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