Consider, thou foolish Teufelsdrockh, what benefits unspeakable all ages and sexes derive4 from Clothes. For example, when thou thyself, a watery5, pulpy6, slobbery freshman7 and new-comer in this Planet, sattest muling and puking in thy nurse’s arms; sucking thy coral, and looking forth8 into the world in the blankest manner, what hadst thou been without thy blankets, and bibs, and other nameless hulls9? A terror to thyself and mankind! Or hast thou forgotten the day when thou first receivedst breeches, and thy long clothes became short? The village where thou livedst was all apprised10 of the fact; and neighbor after neighbor kissed thy pudding-cheek, and gave thee, as handsel, silver or copper11 coins, on that the first gala-day of thy existence. Again, wert not thou, at one period of life, a Buck12, or Blood, or Macaroni, or Incroyable, or Dandy, or by whatever name, according to year and place, such phenomenon is distinguished13? In that one word lie included mysterious volumes. Nay14, now when the reign15 of folly16 is over, or altered, and thy clothes are not for triumph but for defence, hast thou always worn them perforce, and as a consequence of Man’s Fall; never rejoiced in them as in a warm movable House, a Body round thy Body, wherein that strange THEE of thine sat snug17, defying all variations of Climate? Girt with thick double-milled kerseys; half buried under shawls and broadbrims, and overalls18 and mudboots, thy very fingers cased in doeskin and mittens19, thou hast bestrode that “Horse I ride;” and, though it were in wild winter, dashed through the world, glorying in it as if thou wert its lord. In vain did the sleet20 beat round thy temples; it lighted only on thy impenetrable, felted or woven, case of wool. In vain did the winds howl, — forests sounding and creaking, deep calling unto deep, — and the storms heap themselves together into one huge Arctic whirlpool: thou flewest through the middle thereof, striking fire from the highway; wild music hummed in thy ears, thou too wert as a “sailor of the air;” the wreck21 of matter and the crash of worlds was thy element and propitiously22 wafting23 tide. Without Clothes, without bit or saddle, what hadst thou been; what had thy fleet quadruped been? — Nature is good, but she is not the best: here truly was the victory of Art over Nature. A thunderbolt indeed might have pierced thee; all short of this thou couldst defy.
Or, cries the courteous reader, has your Teufelsdrockh forgotten what he said lately about “Aboriginal Savages,” and their “condition miserable24 indeed”? Would he have all this unsaid; and us betake ourselves again to the “matted cloak,” and go sheeted in a “thick natural fell”?
Nowise, courteous reader! The Professor knows full well what he is saying; and both thou and we, in our haste, do him wrong. If Clothes, in these times, “so tailorize and demoralize us,” have they no redeeming25 value; can they not be altered to serve better; must they of necessity be thrown to the dogs? The truth is, Teufelsdrockh, though a Sansculottist, is no Adamite; and much perhaps as he might wish to go forth before this degenerate26 age “as a Sign,” would nowise wish to do it, as those old Adamites did, in a state of Nakedness. The utility of Clothes is altogether apparent to him: nay perhaps he has an insight into their more recondite27, and almost mystic qualities, what we might call the omnipotent28 virtue29 of Clothes, such as was never before vouchsafed30 to any man. For example:—
“You see two individuals,” he writes, “one dressed in fine Red, the other in coarse threadbare Blue: Red says to Blue, ‘Be hanged and anatomized;’ Blue hears with a shudder31, and (O wonder of wonders!) marches sorrowfully to the gallows32; is there noosed33 up, vibrates his hour, and the surgeons dissect34 him, and fit his bones into a skeleton for medical purposes. How is this; or what make ye of your Nothing can act but where it is? Red has no physical hold of Blue, no clutch of him, is nowise in contact with him: neither are those ministering Sheriffs and Lord–Lieutenants and Hangmen and Tipstaves so related to commanding Red, that he can tug35 them hither and thither36; but each stands distinct within his own skin. Nevertheless, as it is spoken, so is it done: the articulated Word sets all hands in Action; and Rope and Improved-drop perform their work.
“Thinking reader, the reason seems to me twofold: First, that Man is a Spirit, and bound by invisible bonds to All Men; secondly37, that he wears Clothes, which are the visible emblems38 of that fact. Has not your Red hanging-individual a horsehair wig39, squirrel-skins, and a plush-gown; whereby all mortals know that he is a JUDGE? — Society, which the more I think of it astonishes me the more, is founded upon Cloth.
“Often in my atrabiliar moods, when I read of pompous40 ceremonials, Frankfort Coronations, Royal Drawing-rooms, Levees, Couchees; and how the ushers41 and macers and pursuivants are all in waiting; how Duke this is presented by Archduke that, and Colonel A by General B, and innumerable Bishops42, Admirals, and miscellaneous Functionaries43, are advancing gallantly44 to the Anointed Presence; and I strive, in my remote privacy, to form a clear picture of that solemnity, — on a sudden, as by some enchanter’s wand, the — shall I speak it? — the Clothes fly off the whole dramatic corps45; and Dukes, Grandees46, Bishops, Generals, Anointed Presence itself, every mother’s son of them, stand straddling there, not a shirt on them; and I know not whether to laugh or weep. This physical or psychical47 infirmity, in which perhaps I am not singular, I have, after hesitation48, thought right to publish, for the solace49 of those afflicted50 with the like.”
Would to Heaven, say we, thou hadst thought right to keep it secret! Who is there now that can read the five columns of Presentations in his Morning Newspaper without a shudder? Hypochondriac men, and all men are to a certain extent hypochondriac, should be more gently treated. With what readiness our fancy, in this shattered state of the nerves, follows out the consequences which Teufelsdrockh, with a devilish coolness, goes on to draw:—
“What would Majesty51 do, could such an accident befall in reality; should the buttons all simultaneously52 start, and the solid wool evaporate, in very Deed, as here in Dream? Ach Gott! How each skulks53 into the nearest hiding-place; their high State Tragedy (Haupt — und Staats–Action) becomes a Pickleherring–Farce54 to weep at, which is the worst kind of Farce; the tables (according to Horace), and with them, the whole fabric55 of Government, Legislation, Property, Police, and Civilized56 Society, are dissolved, in wails57 and howls.”
Lives the man that can figure a naked Duke of Windlestraw addressing a naked House of Lords? Imagination, choked as in mephitic air, recoils58 on itself, and will not forward with the picture. The Woolsack, the Ministerial, the Opposition59 Benches — infandum! infandum! And yet why is the thing impossible? Was not every soul, or rather every body, of these Guardians60 of our Liberties, naked, or nearly so, last night; “a forked Radish with a head fantastically carved”? And why might he not, did our stern fate so order it, walk out to St. Stephen’s, as well as into bed, in that no-fashion; and there, with other similar Radishes, hold a Bed of Justice? “Solace of those afflicted with the like!” Unhappy Teufelsdrockh, had man ever such a “physical or psychical infirmity” before? And now how many, perhaps, may thy unparalleled confession61 (which we, even to the sounder British world, and goaded62 on by Critical and Biographical duty, grudge63 to reimpart) incurably64 infect therewith! Art thou the malignest of Sansculottists, or only the maddest?
“It will remain to be examined,” adds the inexorable Teufelsdrockh, “in how far the SCARECROW, as a Clothed Person, is not also entitled to benefit of clergy65, and English trial by jury: nay perhaps, considering his high function (for is not he too a Defender66 of Property, and Sovereign armed with the terrors of the Law?), to a certain royal Immunity67 and Inviolability; which, however, misers68 and the meaner class of persons are not always voluntarily disposed to grant him.”
“O my Friends, we are [in Yorick Sterne’s words] but as ‘turkeys driven, with a stick and red clout69, to the market:’ or if some drivers, as they do in Norfolk, take a dried bladder and put peas in it, the rattle70 thereof terrifies the boldest!”
点击收听单词发音
1 courteous | |
adj.彬彬有礼的,客气的 | |
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2 broached | |
v.谈起( broach的过去式和过去分词 );打开并开始用;用凿子扩大(或修光);(在桶上)钻孔取液体 | |
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3 superstition | |
n.迷信,迷信行为 | |
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4 derive | |
v.取得;导出;引申;来自;源自;出自 | |
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5 watery | |
adj.有水的,水汪汪的;湿的,湿润的 | |
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6 pulpy | |
果肉状的,多汁的,柔软的; 烂糊; 稀烂 | |
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7 freshman | |
n.大学一年级学生(可兼指男女) | |
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8 forth | |
adv.向前;向外,往外 | |
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9 hulls | |
船体( hull的名词复数 ); 船身; 外壳; 豆荚 | |
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10 apprised | |
v.告知,通知( apprise的过去式和过去分词 );评价 | |
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11 copper | |
n.铜;铜币;铜器;adj.铜(制)的;(紫)铜色的 | |
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12 buck | |
n.雄鹿,雄兔;v.马离地跳跃 | |
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13 distinguished | |
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的 | |
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14 nay | |
adv.不;n.反对票,投反对票者 | |
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15 reign | |
n.统治时期,统治,支配,盛行;v.占优势 | |
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16 folly | |
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话 | |
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17 snug | |
adj.温暖舒适的,合身的,安全的;v.使整洁干净,舒适地依靠,紧贴;n.(英)酒吧里的私房 | |
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18 overalls | |
n.(复)工装裤;长罩衣 | |
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19 mittens | |
不分指手套 | |
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20 sleet | |
n.雨雪;v.下雨雪,下冰雹 | |
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21 wreck | |
n.失事,遇难;沉船;vt.(船等)失事,遇难 | |
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22 propitiously | |
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23 wafting | |
v.吹送,飘送,(使)浮动( waft的现在分词 ) | |
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24 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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25 redeeming | |
补偿的,弥补的 | |
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26 degenerate | |
v.退步,堕落;adj.退步的,堕落的;n.堕落者 | |
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27 recondite | |
adj.深奥的,难解的 | |
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28 omnipotent | |
adj.全能的,万能的 | |
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29 virtue | |
n.德行,美德;贞操;优点;功效,效力 | |
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30 vouchsafed | |
v.给予,赐予( vouchsafe的过去式和过去分词 );允诺 | |
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31 shudder | |
v.战粟,震动,剧烈地摇晃;n.战粟,抖动 | |
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32 gallows | |
n.绞刑架,绞台 | |
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33 noosed | |
v.绞索,套索( noose的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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34 dissect | |
v.分割;解剖 | |
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35 tug | |
v.用力拖(或拉);苦干;n.拖;苦干;拖船 | |
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36 thither | |
adv.向那里;adj.在那边的,对岸的 | |
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37 secondly | |
adv.第二,其次 | |
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38 emblems | |
n.象征,标记( emblem的名词复数 ) | |
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39 wig | |
n.假发 | |
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40 pompous | |
adj.傲慢的,自大的;夸大的;豪华的 | |
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41 ushers | |
n.引座员( usher的名词复数 );招待员;门房;助理教员v.引,领,陪同( usher的第三人称单数 ) | |
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42 bishops | |
(基督教某些教派管辖大教区的)主教( bishop的名词复数 ); (国际象棋的)象 | |
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43 functionaries | |
n.公职人员,官员( functionary的名词复数 ) | |
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44 gallantly | |
adv. 漂亮地,勇敢地,献殷勤地 | |
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45 corps | |
n.(通信等兵种的)部队;(同类作的)一组 | |
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46 grandees | |
n.贵族,大公,显贵者( grandee的名词复数 ) | |
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47 psychical | |
adj.有关特异功能现象的;有关特异功能官能的;灵魂的;心灵的 | |
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48 hesitation | |
n.犹豫,踌躇 | |
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49 solace | |
n.安慰;v.使快乐;vt.安慰(物),缓和 | |
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50 afflicted | |
使受痛苦,折磨( afflict的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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51 majesty | |
n.雄伟,壮丽,庄严,威严;最高权威,王权 | |
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52 simultaneously | |
adv.同时发生地,同时进行地 | |
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53 skulks | |
v.潜伏,偷偷摸摸地走动,鬼鬼祟祟地活动( skulk的第三人称单数 ) | |
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54 farce | |
n.闹剧,笑剧,滑稽戏;胡闹 | |
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55 fabric | |
n.织物,织品,布;构造,结构,组织 | |
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56 civilized | |
a.有教养的,文雅的 | |
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57 wails | |
痛哭,哭声( wail的名词复数 ) | |
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58 recoils | |
n.(尤指枪炮的)反冲,后坐力( recoil的名词复数 )v.畏缩( recoil的第三人称单数 );退缩;报应;返回 | |
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59 opposition | |
n.反对,敌对 | |
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60 guardians | |
监护人( guardian的名词复数 ); 保护者,维护者 | |
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61 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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62 goaded | |
v.刺激( goad的过去式和过去分词 );激励;(用尖棒)驱赶;驱使(或怂恿、刺激)某人 | |
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63 grudge | |
n.不满,怨恨,妒嫉;vt.勉强给,不情愿做 | |
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64 incurably | |
ad.治不好地 | |
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65 clergy | |
n.[总称]牧师,神职人员 | |
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66 defender | |
n.保卫者,拥护者,辩护人 | |
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67 immunity | |
n.优惠;免除;豁免,豁免权 | |
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68 misers | |
守财奴,吝啬鬼( miser的名词复数 ) | |
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69 clout | |
n.用手猛击;权力,影响力 | |
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70 rattle | |
v.飞奔,碰响;激怒;n.碰撞声;拨浪鼓 | |
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