“You are no eating, my lord,” he said in a tone of gentle reproach, as he withdrew the plate with the untasted trout. (“That many a poor gentleman would have been glad of!” he said to himself.)
“No, I am not particularly hungry,” Walter said, with a pretence11 at carelessness.
“I can recommend the bird,” said Symington, “if it’s no just a cheeper, for the season is advanced, it’s been young and strong on the wing; and good game is rich, fortifying12 both to the body and spirit. Those that have delicate stomachs, it is just salvation13 to them—and for those that are, as ye may say, in the condition of invalids14 in the mind——”
Symington had entirely15 recovered from his own nervousness. He moved about the room with a free step, and felt himself fully16 restored to the position of counsellor and adviser17, with so much additional freedom as his young master was less in a position to restrain him, and permitted him to speak almost without interruption. Indeed Walter as he ineffectually tried to eat was half insensible to the monologue18 going on over his head.
“Ye must not neglect the body,” Symington said, “especially in a place like this where even the maist reasonable man may be whiles put to it to keep his right senses. If ye’ll observe, my lord, them that see what ye may call visions are mostly half starvit creatures, fasting or ill-nourished. Superstition19, in my opinion, has a great deal to do with want of meat. But your lordship is paying no attention. Just two three mouthfuls, my lord! just as a duty to yourself and all your friends, and to please a faithful auld20 servant,” Symington said, with more and more insinuating21 tones. There was something almost pathetic in the insistance with which he pressed “a breast of pairtridge that would tempt22 a saint” upon his young master. The humour of it struck Walter dully through the confusion of his senses. It was all like a dream to him made up of the laughable and the miserable23; until Symington at last consented to see that his importunities were unavailing, and after a tedious interval24 of clearing away, took himself and all his paraphernalia25 out of the room, and left Walter alone. It seemed to Lord Erradeen that he had not been alone for a long time, nor had any leisure in which to collect his faculties; and for the first few minutes after the door had closed upon his too officious servant a sense of relief was in his mind. He drew a long breath of ease and consolation26, and throwing himself back in his chair gave himself up to momentary27 peace.
But this mood did not last long. He had not been alone five minutes before there sprang up within him something which could be called nothing less than a personal struggle with—he could not tell what. There is a quickening of excitement in a mental encounter, in the course of a momentous28 discussion, which almost reaches the height of that passion which is roused by bodily conflict, when the subject is important enough, or the antagonists29 in deadly earnest. But to describe how this is intensified31 when the discussion takes place not between two, but in the spiritual consciousness of one, is almost too much for words to accomplish. Lord Erradeen in the complete solitude32 of this room, closed and curtained and shut out from all access of the world, suddenly felt himself in the height of such a controversy33. He saw no one, nor did it occur to him again to look for any one. There was no need. Had his former visitor appeared, as before, seated opposite to him in the chair which stood so suggestively between the fire and the table, his pulses would have calmed, and his mind become composed at once. But there was nobody to address him in human speech, to oppose to him the changes of a human countenance34. The question was discussed within himself with such rapidity of argument and reply, such clash of intellectual weapons, as never occurs to the external hearing. There passed thus under review the entire history of the struggle which had been going on from the time of Lord Erradeen’s first arrival at the home of his race. It ran after this fashion, though with the quickness of thought far swifter than words.
“You thought you had conquered me. You thought you had escaped me.”
“I did; you had no power in the glen, or on the isle35.”
“Fool! I have power everywhere, wherever you have been.”
“To betray me into wickedness?”
“To let you go your own way. Did I tempt you to evil before ever you heard of me?”
“Can I tell? perhaps to prepare me for bondage36.”
“At school, at home, abroad, in all relations? Self-lover! My object at least is better than yours.”
“I am no self-lover; rather self-hater, self-despiser.”
“It is the same thing. Self before all. I offer you something better, the good of your race.”
“I have no race. I refuse!”
“You shall not refuse. You are mine, you must obey me.”
“Never! I am no slave. I am my own master.”
“The slave of every petty vice37; the master of no impulse. Yield! I can crush you if I please.”
“Never! I am—Oona’s then, who will stand by me.”
“Oona’s! a girl! who when she knows what you are will turn and loathe38 you.”
“Fiend! You fled when she gave me her hand.”
“Will she touch your hand when she knows what it has clasped before?”
Then Walter felt his heart go out in a great cry. If any one had seen him thus, he would have borne the aspect of a madman. His forehead was knotted as with great cords, his eyes, drawn39 and puckered40 together in their sockets41, shone with a gleam of almost delirious42 hatred43 and passion. He held back, his figure all drawn into angles, in a horrible tension of resistance as if some one with the force of a giant was seizing him. He thought that he shrieked44 out with all the force of mortal agony. “No! If Oona turns from me and all angels—I am God’s then at the last!”
Then there seemed to him to come a pause of perfect stillness in the heart of the battle; but not the cessation of conflict. Far worse than the active struggle, it was with a low laugh that his antagonist30 seemed to reply.
“God’s! whom you neither love nor obey, nor have ever sought before.”
The room in which Lord Erradeen sat was quite still all through the evening, more silent than the night air that ruffled45 the water and sighed in the trees permitted outside. The servants did not hear a sound. Peace itself could not have inhabited a more noiseless and restful place.
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1
trout
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| n.鳟鱼；鲑鱼(属) | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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morsel
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| n.一口，一点点 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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faculties
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| n.能力( faculty的名词复数 )；全体教职员；技巧；院 | |
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dignified
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| a.可敬的，高贵的 | |
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tremors
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| 震颤( tremor的名词复数 )； 战栗； 震颤声； 大地的轻微震动 | |
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8
superstitious
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| adj.迷信的 | |
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instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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10
scotch
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| n.伤口，刻痕；苏格兰威士忌酒；v.粉碎，消灭，阻止；adj.苏格兰(人)的 | |
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pretence
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| n.假装，作假；借口，口实；虚伪；虚饰 | |
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12
fortifying
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| 筑防御工事于( fortify的现在分词 )； 筑堡于； 增强； 强化（食品） | |
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13
salvation
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| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
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14
invalids
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| 病人，残疾者( invalid的名词复数 ) | |
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15
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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adviser
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| n.劝告者，顾问 | |
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monologue
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| n.长篇大论，（戏剧等中的）独白 | |
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superstition
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| n.迷信，迷信行为 | |
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auld
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| adj.老的，旧的 | |
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insinuating
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| adj.曲意巴结的，暗示的v.暗示( insinuate的现在分词 )；巧妙或迂回地潜入；（使）缓慢进入；慢慢伸入 | |
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tempt
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| vt.引诱，勾引，吸引，引起…的兴趣 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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interval
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| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
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paraphernalia
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| n.装备；随身用品 | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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momentary
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| adj.片刻的，瞬息的；短暂的 | |
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momentous
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| adj.重要的，重大的 | |
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29
antagonists
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| 对立[对抗] 者，对手，敌手( antagonist的名词复数 )； 对抗肌； 对抗药 | |
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antagonist
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| n.敌人，对抗者，对手 | |
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intensified
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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32
solitude
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| n. 孤独; 独居,荒僻之地,幽静的地方 | |
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33
controversy
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| n.争论，辩论，争吵 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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isle
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| n.小岛，岛 | |
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bondage
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| n.奴役，束缚 | |
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vice
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| n.坏事；恶习；[pl.]台钳，老虎钳；adj.副的 | |
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loathe
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| v.厌恶，嫌恶 | |
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drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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40
puckered
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| v.（使某物）起褶子或皱纹( pucker的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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41
sockets
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| n.套接字，使应用程序能够读写与收发通讯协定(protocol)与资料的程序( Socket的名词复数 )；孔( socket的名词复数 )；（电器上的）插口；托座；凹穴 | |
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42
delirious
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| adj.不省人事的，神智昏迷的 | |
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43
hatred
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| n.憎恶，憎恨，仇恨 | |
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44
shrieked
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| v.尖叫( shriek的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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45
ruffled
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| adj. 有褶饰边的, 起皱的 动词ruffle的过去式和过去分词 | |
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