The TigerAlas! why these things and not others!
BEAUMARCHAISAn English traveller relates how he lived upon intimate terms with atiger; he had reared it and used to play with it, but always kept a loadedpistol on the table.
Julien abandoned himself to the full force of his happiness only atthose moments when Mathilde could not read the expression of it in hiseyes. He was punctilious1 in his performance of the duty of addressing afew harsh words to her from time to time.
When Mathilde's meekness2, which he observed with astonishment3,and the intensity4 of her devotion came near to destroying all his self-control, he had the courage to leave her abruptly5.
For the first time Mathilde was in love.
Life, which had always crawled for her at a snail's pace, now flew.
As it was essential, nevertheless, that her pride should find some outlet6, she sought to expose herself with temerity7 to all the risks that herlove could make her run. It was Julien who showed prudence8; and it wasonly when there was any question of danger that she did not complywith his wishes; but, submissive, and almost humble9 towards him, sheshowed all the more arrogance10 towards anyone else who came near herin the house, relatives and servants alike.
In the evenings in the drawing-room, she would summon Julien, andwould hold long conversations with him in private.
Little Tanbeau took his place one evening beside them; she asked himto go to the library and fetch her the volume of Smollett which dealt withthe Revolution of 1688; and as he seemed to hesitate: There is no need tohurry,' she went on with an expression of insulting arrogance, which wasbalm to Julien's spirit.
'Did you notice the look in that little monster's eyes?' he asked her.
'His uncle has done ten or twelve years of service in this drawing-room, otherwise I should have him shown the door this instant.'
Her behaviour towards MM. de Croisenois, de Luz, and the rest, perfectly11 polite in form, was scarcely less provoking in substance. Mathildeblamed herself severely12 for all the confidences she had made to Julien inthe past, especially as she did not dare confess to him that she had exaggerated the almost wholly innocent marks of interest of which those gentlemen had been the object.
In spite of the most admirable resolutions, her womanly pride prevented her every day from saying to Julien: 'It was because I was speaking toyou that I found pleasure in the thought of my weakness in not withdrawing my hand when M. de Croisenois laid his hand on a marble tablebeside mine, and managed to touch it.'
Nowadays, whenever one of these gentlemen had spoken to her for afew moments, she found that she had a question to ask Julien, and thiswas a pretext14 for keeping him by her side.
She found that she was pregnant, and told the news joyfully15 to Julien.
'Now will you doubt me? Is not this a guarantee? I am your wife forever.'
This announcement filled Julien with profound astonishment. He wason the point of forgetting his principle of conduct. 'How can I be deliberately16 cold and offensive to this poor girl who is ruining herself for me?'
Did she appear at all unwell, even on the days on which wisdom madeher dread17 accents heard, he no longer found the courage to address toher one of those cruel speeches, so indispensable, in his experience, tothe continuance of their love.
'I mean to write to my father,' Mathilde said to him one day; 'he ismore than a father to me; he is a friend; and so I should feel it unworthyof you and of myself to seek to deceive him, were it only for a moment.'
'Great God! What are you going to do?' said Julien in alarm.
'My duty,' she replied, her eyes sparkling with joy.
She felt herself to be more magnanimous than her lover.
'But he will turn me from the house in disgrace!'
'He is within his rights, we must respect them. I shall give you myarm, and we shall go out by the front door, in the full light of day.'
Julien in astonishment begged her to wait for a week.
'I cannot,' she replied, 'the voice of honour speaks. I have seen what ismy duty, I must obey, and at once.'
'Very well! I order you to wait,' said Julien at length. 'Your honour iscovered, I am your husband. This drastic step is going to alter both ourpositions. I also am within my rights. Today is Tuesday; next Tuesday isthe day of the Duc de Retz's party; that evening, when M. de La Molecomes home, the porter shall hand him the fatal letter … He thinks onlyof making you a Duchess, of that I am certain; think of his grief!'
'Do you mean by that: think of his revenge?'
'I may feel pity for my benefactor19, distress20 at the thought of injuringhim; but I do not and never shall fear any man.'
Mathilde submitted. Since she had told Julien of her condition, thiswas the first time that he had spoken to her with authority; never had heloved her so dearly. It was with gladness that the softer side of his heartseized the pretext of Mathilde's condition to forgo21 the duty of saying afew cruel words. The idea of a confession22 to M. de La Mole18 disturbedhim greatly. Was he going to be parted from Mathilde? And, howeverkeen the distress with which she saw him go, a month after his departurewould she give him a thought?
He felt almost as great a horror of the reproaches which the Marquismight justly heap upon him.
That evening, he admitted to Mathilde this second cause of his distress, and then, carried away by love, admitted the other also.
She changed colour.
'Indeed,' she said, 'six months spent out of my company would be agrief to you!'
'Immense, the only one in the world on which I look with terror.'
Mathilde was delighted. Julien had played his part with such thoroughness that he had succeeded in making her think that of the two shewas the more in love.
The fatal Tuesday came. At midnight, on returning home, the Marquisfound a letter with the form of address which indicated that he was toopen it himself, and only when he was unobserved.
'MY FATHER,'Every social tie that binds23 us is broken, there remain only the ties ofnature. After my husband, you are and will ever be the dearest person inthe world to me. My eyes fill with tears, I think of the distress that I am causing you, but, that my shame may not be made public, to give youtime to deliberate and act, I have been unable to postpone24 any furtherthe confession that I owe you. If your affection for me, which I know tobe extreme, chooses to allow me a small pension, I shall go and settlemyself where you please, in Switzerland, for instance, with my husband.
His name is so obscure that no one will recognise your daughter in Madame Sorel, daughter-in-law of a carpenter of Verrieres. There you havethe name I have found it so hard to write. I dread, for Julien, your anger,apparently so righteous. I shall not be a Duchess, Father; but I knew itwhen I fell in love with him; for it was I that fell in love first, it was I whoseduced him. I inherit from you a spirit too exalted25 to let my attention bearrested by what is or seems to me vulgar. It is in vain that with the ideaof pleasing you I have thought of M. de Croisenois. Why did you placereal merit before my eyes? You told me yourself on my return fromHyeres: "This young Sorel is the only person who amuses me"; the poorboy is as greatly distressed26 as myself, if it be possible, by the pain whichthis letter must cause you. I cannot prevent your being angry with me asa father; but care for me still as a friend.
'Julien respected me. If he spoke13 to me now and again, it was solely27 because of his profound gratitude28 to you: for the natural pride of his character leads him never to reply save officially to anyone who is placed sofar above him. He has a strong and inborn29 sense of the differences of social position. It was I, I admit, with a blush, to my best friend, and nevershall such an admission be made to any other, it was I who one day inthe garden pressed his arm.
'In twenty-four hours from now, why should you be angry with him?
My fault is irreparable. If you require it, I shall be the channel to conveyto you the assurances of his profound respect and of his distress at displeasing30 you. You will not set eyes on him; but I shall go and join himwherever he may choose. It is his right, it is my duty, he is the father ofmy child. If in your generosity31 you are pleased to allow us six thousandfrancs upon which to live, I shall accept them with gratitude: otherwise,Julien intends to settle at Besancon where he will take up the professionof teacher of Latin and Literature. However low the degree from whichhe springs, I am certain that he will rise. With him, I have no fear of obscurity. If there be a Revolution, I am sure of a leading part for him.
Could you say as much for any of those who have sought my hand?
They have fine estates? I cannot find in that single circumstance a reasonfor admiration32. My Julien would attain33 to a high position even under the present form of government, if he had a million and were protected bymy father … '
Mathilde, who knew that the Marquis was a man entirely34 governed byfirst impressions, had written eight pages.
'What is to be done?' Julien said to himself while M. de La Mole wasreading this letter; 'where do, first of all, my duty, secondly35, my interestlie? The debt that I owe him is immense: I should have been, but for him,a rascally37 understrapper, and not rascal36 enough to be hated and persecuted38 by the rest. He has made me a man of the world. My necessary rascalities will be, first of all, rarer, and secondly, less ignoble39. That is morethan if he had given me a million. I owe to him this Cross and the recordof so-called diplomatic services which have raised me above my rank.
'If he were to take his pen to prescribe my conduct, what would hewrite?'
Julien was sharply interrupted by M. de La Mole's old valet.
'The Marquis wishes to see you this moment, dressed or undressed.'
The valet added in an undertone as they were side by side: 'He is furious, beware.'
1 punctilious | |
adj.谨慎的,谨小慎微的 | |
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2 meekness | |
n.温顺,柔和 | |
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3 astonishment | |
n.惊奇,惊异 | |
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4 intensity | |
n.强烈,剧烈;强度;烈度 | |
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5 abruptly | |
adv.突然地,出其不意地 | |
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6 outlet | |
n.出口/路;销路;批发商店;通风口;发泄 | |
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7 temerity | |
n.鲁莽,冒失 | |
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8 prudence | |
n.谨慎,精明,节俭 | |
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9 humble | |
adj.谦卑的,恭顺的;地位低下的;v.降低,贬低 | |
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10 arrogance | |
n.傲慢,自大 | |
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11 perfectly | |
adv.完美地,无可非议地,彻底地 | |
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12 severely | |
adv.严格地;严厉地;非常恶劣地 | |
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13 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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14 pretext | |
n.借口,托词 | |
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15 joyfully | |
adv. 喜悦地, 高兴地 | |
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16 deliberately | |
adv.审慎地;蓄意地;故意地 | |
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17 dread | |
vt.担忧,忧虑;惧怕,不敢;n.担忧,畏惧 | |
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18 mole | |
n.胎块;痣;克分子 | |
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19 benefactor | |
n. 恩人,行善的人,捐助人 | |
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20 distress | |
n.苦恼,痛苦,不舒适;不幸;vt.使悲痛 | |
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21 forgo | |
v.放弃,抛弃 | |
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22 confession | |
n.自白,供认,承认 | |
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23 binds | |
v.约束( bind的第三人称单数 );装订;捆绑;(用长布条)缠绕 | |
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24 postpone | |
v.延期,推迟 | |
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25 exalted | |
adj.(地位等)高的,崇高的;尊贵的,高尚的 | |
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26 distressed | |
痛苦的 | |
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27 solely | |
adv.仅仅,唯一地 | |
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28 gratitude | |
adj.感激,感谢 | |
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29 inborn | |
adj.天生的,生来的,先天的 | |
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30 displeasing | |
不愉快的,令人发火的 | |
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31 generosity | |
n.大度,慷慨,慷慨的行为 | |
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32 admiration | |
n.钦佩,赞美,羡慕 | |
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33 attain | |
vt.达到,获得,完成 | |
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34 entirely | |
ad.全部地,完整地;完全地,彻底地 | |
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35 secondly | |
adv.第二,其次 | |
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36 rascal | |
n.流氓;不诚实的人 | |
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37 rascally | |
adj. 无赖的,恶棍的 adv. 无赖地,卑鄙地 | |
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38 persecuted | |
(尤指宗教或政治信仰的)迫害(~sb. for sth.)( persecute的过去式和过去分词 ); 烦扰,困扰或骚扰某人 | |
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39 ignoble | |
adj.不光彩的,卑鄙的;可耻的 | |
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