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首页 » 经典英文小说 » A Sister to Evangeline » Chapter XXIV “If You Love Me, Leave Me”
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Chapter XXIV “If You Love Me, Leave Me”
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Till the flames of amber1 and copper2 along the Gaspereau Ridge3 had temperately4 diminished to a lucidity5 of pale violet, I waited and watched. Then all at once the commotion6 in my bosom7 came to an icy stop.

A light, white form descended8 from the ridge to the ford9. I needed not the black lace shawl about the head and shoulders to tell me it was she, before a feature or a line could be distinguished10. The blood at every tingling11 finger-tip thrilled the announcement of her coming.

I grasped desperately12 at all I had planned to say—now slipping from me. I felt that she was intrenched in a fixed13 resolve; and I felt that not my life alone,—ready to become a very small matter,—but hers, her true life, depended upon my breaking that resolve. Yet how was I to conquer her, I who at sight of her was at her feet? I knew—with that inner knowledge by which I know God is—that she, the whitest of women, intended unwittingly 169a sin against her body in wedding a man unloved—that she, in my eyes the wisest, most clear-visioned of women, contemplated15 a folly16 beyond words. But how could I so far escape my reverence17 for her as to convict her of this folly and this sin?

But now all my thoughts, words, pleas, sprayed into air. She came—and I stepped into her path, whispering:

“Yvonne!”

She was almost within reach of my hand, had I stretched it out,—but I dared not touch her. She gave the faintest cry. Taken at so sudden a disadvantage, she had not time to mask herself, and her great eyes told for one heart-beat what I knew her lips would have denied. Her fingers locked and unlocked where they caught the black mantilla across her bosom. She stood for an instant motionless; then glanced back up the hill with a desperate fear.

“They will see you!” she half sobbed18. “You will be caught and thrown into prison. Oh, hide yourself, hide at once!”

“Not without you,” I interrupted.

“Then with me!” she cried pantingly, and led the way, almost running, back of the willow19, down a thread of a path, to a hidden place behind a bend of the stream. Glancing back at the last moment, I saw a squad20 of soldiers coming over the hill.

170As soon as she felt that I was safely out of sight and earshot, she turned and faced me with a sudden swift anger.

“Why have you done this? Why have you forced me to this?” she cried.

“Because I love you,” said I slowly. “Because”—

She drew herself up.

“You do not know,” said she, “what I have promised to Monsieur Anderson. I have promised to redeem21 my word to him when he can show you to me safe and well.”

I laughed with sheer joy.

“He shall wait long then,” said I. “Sooner than he should claim the guerdon I will fall upon my sword, though my will is, rather, to live for you, beloved.”

“Had the soldiers seen you and taken you,” said she, in her eagerness forgetting her disguise, “he would have been able to claim me to-morrow. They may yet take you. Oh, go, go at once!”

“They shall not take me. Now that I know you love me, Yvonne,—for you have betrayed it,—my life is, next to yours, the most precious thing to me in the world. I go at once to Quebec to settle my affairs and prepare a home for you. Then I will come,—it will be but in a month or two, when this trouble is overpast,—and I will take you away.”

171Her face, all her form, drooped22 with a sort of weariness, as if her will had been too long taxed.

“You will find me the wife of George Anderson,” she said faintly.

It was as if I had been struck upon the temples. My mouth opened, and shut again without words. First rage, then amazement23, then despair, ran through me in hot surges.

“But—your promise—not till he could show me to you,” I managed to stammer24.

“I gave it in good faith,” she said simply. “I can no longer hold him off by it, for I have seen you safe and well.”

“I am not safe, as you may soon see,” said I fiercely, “and not long shall I be well, as you will learn.” Then, perceiving that this was a sorry kind of threat, and little manly25, I made haste to amend26 it.

“No, no,” I cried, “forget that! But stick to the letter of your promises, I beseech27 you. Why push to go back of that? Unless,” I added, with bitterness, “you want the excuse!”

She shuddered28, and forgot to resent the brutality29.

“Go!” she pleaded. “Save yourself—for my sake—Paul!” And her voice broke.

“That you may wed14 with the clearer conscience!” I went on, merciless in my pain.

She crouched30 down, a drear and pitiful figure, on the slope of sod, and wept silently, her hands 172over her eyes. I looked at her helplessly. I wanted to throw myself at her feet. Then the right thing seemed that I should gather her up into my arms—but I dared not touch her. At last I said, doubtfully:

“But—you love me!”

No answer.

“You do love me, Yvonne?”

She lifted her face, and with a childish bravery dashed off the tears, first with one hand, then the other. She looked me straight in the eyes.

“I do not,” said she, daring the lie. “But you—you disturb me!”

This astonishing remark did not shake my confidence, but it threw me out of my argument. I shifted ground.

“You do not love him!” I exclaimed, lamely31 enough.

“I respect him!” said she, cool now, and controlling the situation. I felt that I had lost my one moment of advantage—the moment when I should have taken her into my arms. Not timidity, but reverence, had balked32 me. My heart turned, as it were, in my breast, with a hot, dumb fury—at myself.

“The respect that cannot breed love for a lover will soon breed contempt,” said I, holding myself hard to mere33 reasoning.

173She ignored this idle answer. She arose and came close up to me.

“Paul,” she said, scarcely above a whisper, “will you save yourself for my sake? If I say—if I say that I do love you a little—that if it could have been different—been you—I should have been—oh, glad, glad!—then will you go, for my sake?”

“No, no indeed!” shouted the heart within me at this confession34. But with hope came cunning. I temporized35.

“And if I go, for your sake,” I asked, “when do you propose to become the wife of the Englishman?”

“Not for a long time, I will promise you,” said she earnestly. “Not for a year—no, not for two years, if you like. Oh,”—with a catch in her voice,—“not till I can feel differently about you, Paul!” And she hung her head at the admission.

“Dear,” I said, “most dear and wonderful, can you not even now see how monstrous36 it would be if I should seem, for a moment, to relinquish37 you to another? Soul and body must tell you you are mine, as I am yours. But your eyes are shut. You are a maid, and you do not realize what it is that I would save you from. It is your very whiteness blinds you, so that you do not see the intolerableness of what they would thrust upon 174you. For you it would be a sin. You do not see it—but you would see it, awaking to the truth when it was too late. From the horror of that awakening38 I must save you. I must”—

But she did not see; though her brain must have comprehended, her body did not; and therefore there could be no real comprehension of a matter so vital. She brushed aside my passionate39 argument, and came close up to me.

“Paul, dear,” she said, “I think I know the beauty of sacrifice. I am sure I know what is right. You cannot shake me. I know what must be in the end. But if you will go and save yourself, I promise that the end shall be far off—so that he may grow angry, and perhaps even set me free, as I have almost asked him to do. But now this is good-by, dear. You shall go. You will not disobey me. But you may say good-by to me. And as once you kissed my feet (they have been proud ever since), so—though it is a sin, I know—you may kiss my lips, just once,—and go.”

How little she knew what she was doing! Even as she spoke40 she was in my arms. The next moment she was trembling violently, and then she strove to tear herself away. But I was inexorable, and folded her close for yet an instant longer, till she was still. I raised my head and pushed her a little away, holding her by both arms that I might see her face.

175“Oh,” she gasped41, “you are cruel! I did not mean that you should kiss me so—so hard.”

“My—wife!” I whispered irrelevantly42.

“Let me go, sir,” she said, with her old imperious air, trying to remove herself from my grasp upon her arms. But I did not think it necessary to obey her. Then her face saddened in a way that made me afraid.

“You have done wrong, Paul,” she said heavily. “I meant you should just touch me and go. You took unmanly advantage. Alas43! I fear I have a bad heart. I cannot be so angry as I ought. But I am resolved. You know, now, that I love you; that no other can ever have my love. But that knowledge is the end of all between us, even of the friendship which might, one day, have comforted me. Go, I command you, if you would not have me an unhappy woman forever!”

She wrenched44 herself free. Then, seeing me, as she thought, hesitate for an answer, she added firmly:

“I love you! But I love honour more, and obedience45 to the right, and my plighted46 word. Go!”

“I will not go, my beloved, till you swear to tell the Englishman to-morrow that you love me and intend to be my wife.”

“Listen,” she said. “If you do not go at once, I promise you that I will be George Anderson’s wife to-morrow.”

176I stared at her dumbly. Was it conceivable that she should mean such madness? Her eyes were fathomlessly sorrowful, her mouth was set. How was I to decide?

But fortune elected to save me the decision. A sharp voice came from the bank above—

“I arrest you, in the king’s name!”

We glanced up. There stood a squad of red-coats, a spruce young officer at their head.

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 amber LzazBn     
n.琥珀;琥珀色;adj.琥珀制的
参考例句:
  • Would you like an amber necklace for your birthday?你过生日想要一条琥珀项链吗?
  • This is a piece of little amber stones.这是一块小小的琥珀化石。
2 copper HZXyU     
n.铜;铜币;铜器;adj.铜(制)的;(紫)铜色的
参考例句:
  • The students are asked to prove the purity of copper.要求学生们检验铜的纯度。
  • Copper is a good medium for the conduction of heat and electricity.铜是热和电的良导体。
3 ridge KDvyh     
n.山脊;鼻梁;分水岭
参考例句:
  • We clambered up the hillside to the ridge above.我们沿着山坡费力地爬上了山脊。
  • The infantry were advancing to attack the ridge.步兵部队正在向前挺进攻打山脊。
4 temperately d81f67570858f948b670e7e14cfef5be     
adv.节制地,适度地
参考例句:
  • We are not spending extravagantly, but spending reasonably and temperately. 他们不是在挥霍无度的消费,而是合理的有节制的花费。 来自互联网
  • He used the privileges of his office temperately. 他有节制地使用了自己的职务特权。 来自互联网
5 lucidity jAmxr     
n.明朗,清晰,透明
参考例句:
  • His writings were marked by an extraordinary lucidity and elegance of style.他的作品简洁明晰,文风典雅。
  • The pain had lessened in the night, but so had his lucidity.夜里他的痛苦是减轻了,但人也不那么清醒了。
6 commotion 3X3yo     
n.骚动,动乱
参考例句:
  • They made a commotion by yelling at each other in the theatre.他们在剧院里相互争吵,引起了一阵骚乱。
  • Suddenly the whole street was in commotion.突然间,整条街道变得一片混乱。
7 bosom Lt9zW     
n.胸,胸部;胸怀;内心;adj.亲密的
参考例句:
  • She drew a little book from her bosom.她从怀里取出一本小册子。
  • A dark jealousy stirred in his bosom.他内心生出一阵恶毒的嫉妒。
8 descended guQzoy     
a.为...后裔的,出身于...的
参考例句:
  • A mood of melancholy descended on us. 一种悲伤的情绪袭上我们的心头。
  • The path descended the hill in a series of zigzags. 小路呈连续的之字形顺着山坡蜿蜒而下。
9 Ford KiIxx     
n.浅滩,水浅可涉处;v.涉水,涉过
参考例句:
  • They were guarding the bridge,so we forded the river.他们驻守在那座桥上,所以我们只能涉水过河。
  • If you decide to ford a stream,be extremely careful.如果已决定要涉过小溪,必须极度小心。
10 distinguished wu9z3v     
adj.卓越的,杰出的,著名的
参考例句:
  • Elephants are distinguished from other animals by their long noses.大象以其长长的鼻子显示出与其他动物的不同。
  • A banquet was given in honor of the distinguished guests.宴会是为了向贵宾们致敬而举行的。
11 tingling LgTzGu     
v.有刺痛感( tingle的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • My ears are tingling [humming; ringing; singing]. 我耳鸣。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • My tongue is tingling. 舌头发麻。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
12 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
参考例句:
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
13 fixed JsKzzj     
adj.固定的,不变的,准备好的;(计算机)固定的
参考例句:
  • Have you two fixed on a date for the wedding yet?你们俩选定婚期了吗?
  • Once the aim is fixed,we should not change it arbitrarily.目标一旦确定,我们就不应该随意改变。
14 wed MgFwc     
v.娶,嫁,与…结婚
参考例句:
  • The couple eventually wed after three year engagement.这对夫妇在订婚三年后终于结婚了。
  • The prince was very determined to wed one of the king's daughters.王子下定决心要娶国王的其中一位女儿。
15 contemplated d22c67116b8d5696b30f6705862b0688     
adj. 预期的 动词contemplate的过去分词形式
参考例句:
  • The doctor contemplated the difficult operation he had to perform. 医生仔细地考虑他所要做的棘手的手术。
  • The government has contemplated reforming the entire tax system. 政府打算改革整个税收体制。
16 folly QgOzL     
n.愚笨,愚蠢,蠢事,蠢行,傻话
参考例句:
  • Learn wisdom by the folly of others.从别人的愚蠢行动中学到智慧。
  • Events proved the folly of such calculations.事情的进展证明了这种估计是愚蠢的。
17 reverence BByzT     
n.敬畏,尊敬,尊严;Reverence:对某些基督教神职人员的尊称;v.尊敬,敬畏,崇敬
参考例句:
  • He was a bishop who was held in reverence by all.他是一位被大家都尊敬的主教。
  • We reverence tradition but will not be fettered by it.我们尊重传统,但不被传统所束缚。
18 sobbed 4a153e2bbe39eef90bf6a4beb2dba759     
哭泣,啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 ); 哭诉,呜咽地说
参考例句:
  • She sobbed out the story of her son's death. 她哭诉着她儿子的死。
  • She sobbed out the sad story of her son's death. 她哽咽着诉说她儿子死去的悲惨经过。
19 willow bMFz6     
n.柳树
参考例句:
  • The river was sparsely lined with willow trees.河边疏疏落落有几棵柳树。
  • The willow's shadow falls on the lake.垂柳的影子倒映在湖面上。
20 squad 4G1zq     
n.班,小队,小团体;vt.把…编成班或小组
参考例句:
  • The squad leader ordered the men to mark time.班长命令战士们原地踏步。
  • A squad is the smallest unit in an army.班是军队的最小构成单位。
21 redeem zCbyH     
v.买回,赎回,挽回,恢复,履行(诺言等)
参考例句:
  • He had no way to redeem his furniture out of pawn.他无法赎回典当的家具。
  • The eyes redeem the face from ugliness.这双眼睛弥补了他其貌不扬之缺陷。
22 drooped ebf637c3f860adcaaf9c11089a322fa5     
弯曲或下垂,发蔫( droop的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • Her eyelids drooped as if she were on the verge of sleep. 她眼睑低垂好像快要睡着的样子。
  • The flowers drooped in the heat of the sun. 花儿晒蔫了。
23 amazement 7zlzBK     
n.惊奇,惊讶
参考例句:
  • All those around him looked at him with amazement.周围的人都对他投射出惊异的眼光。
  • He looked at me in blank amazement.他带着迷茫惊诧的神情望着我。
24 stammer duMwo     
n.结巴,口吃;v.结结巴巴地说
参考例句:
  • He's got a bad stammer.他口吃非常严重。
  • We must not try to play off the boy troubled with a stammer.我们不可以取笑这个有口吃病的男孩。
25 manly fBexr     
adj.有男子气概的;adv.男子般地,果断地
参考例句:
  • The boy walked with a confident manly stride.这男孩以自信的男人步伐行走。
  • He set himself manly tasks and expected others to follow his example.他给自己定下了男子汉的任务,并希望别人效之。
26 amend exezY     
vt.修改,修订,改进;n.[pl.]赔罪,赔偿
参考例句:
  • The teacher advised him to amend his way of living.老师劝他改变生活方式。
  • You must amend your pronunciation.你必须改正你的发音。
27 beseech aQzyF     
v.祈求,恳求
参考例句:
  • I beseech you to do this before it is too late.我恳求你做做这件事吧,趁现在还来得及。
  • I beseech your favor.我恳求您帮忙。
28 shuddered 70137c95ff493fbfede89987ee46ab86     
v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 );发抖;(机器、车辆等)突然震动;颤动
参考例句:
  • He slammed on the brakes and the car shuddered to a halt. 他猛踩刹车,车颤抖着停住了。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • I shuddered at the sight of the dead body. 我一看见那尸体就战栗。 来自《简明英汉词典》
29 brutality MSbyb     
n.野蛮的行为,残忍,野蛮
参考例句:
  • The brutality of the crime has appalled the public. 罪行之残暴使公众大为震惊。
  • a general who was infamous for his brutality 因残忍而恶名昭彰的将军
30 crouched 62634c7e8c15b8a61068e36aaed563ab     
v.屈膝,蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • He crouched down beside her. 他在她的旁边蹲了下来。
  • The lion crouched ready to pounce. 狮子蹲下身,准备猛扑。
31 lamely 950fece53b59623523b03811fa0c3117     
一瘸一拐地,不完全地
参考例句:
  • I replied lamely that I hope to justify his confidence. 我漫不经心地回答说,我希望我能不辜负他对我的信任。
  • The wolf leaped lamely back, losing its footing and falling in its weakness. 那只狼一跛一跛地跳回去,它因为身体虚弱,一失足摔了一跤。
32 balked 9feaf3d3453e7f0c289e129e4bd6925d     
v.畏缩不前,犹豫( balk的过去式和过去分词 );(指马)不肯跑
参考例句:
  • He balked in his speech. 他忽然中断讲演。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
  • They balked the robber's plan. 他们使强盗的计划受到挫败。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》
33 mere rC1xE     
adj.纯粹的;仅仅,只不过
参考例句:
  • That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
  • It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。
34 confession 8Ygye     
n.自白,供认,承认
参考例句:
  • Her confession was simply tantamount to a casual explanation.她的自白简直等于一篇即席说明。
  • The police used torture to extort a confession from him.警察对他用刑逼供。
35 temporized 91b23cc822c2f79ea1bef38ab728ab05     
v.敷衍( temporize的过去式和过去分词 );拖延;顺应时势;暂时同意
参考例句:
  • 'Not exactly, sir,' temporized Sloan. “不完全是这样,先生,”斯隆敷衍道。 来自辞典例句
  • The speaker temporized in order to delay the vote. 这个演讲者拖延时间以便拖延选举。 来自互联网
36 monstrous vwFyM     
adj.巨大的;恐怖的;可耻的,丢脸的
参考例句:
  • The smoke began to whirl and grew into a monstrous column.浓烟开始盘旋上升,形成了一个巨大的烟柱。
  • Your behaviour in class is monstrous!你在课堂上的行为真是丢人!
37 relinquish 4Bazt     
v.放弃,撤回,让与,放手
参考例句:
  • He was forced to relinquish control of the company.他被迫放弃公司的掌控权。
  • They will never voluntarily relinquish their independence.他们绝对不会自动放弃独立。
38 awakening 9ytzdV     
n.觉醒,醒悟 adj.觉醒中的;唤醒的
参考例句:
  • the awakening of interest in the environment 对环境产生的兴趣
  • People are gradually awakening to their rights. 人们正逐渐意识到自己的权利。
39 passionate rLDxd     
adj.热情的,热烈的,激昂的,易动情的,易怒的,性情暴躁的
参考例句:
  • He is said to be the most passionate man.据说他是最有激情的人。
  • He is very passionate about the project.他对那个项目非常热心。
40 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
41 gasped e6af294d8a7477229d6749fa9e8f5b80     
v.喘气( gasp的过去式和过去分词 );喘息;倒抽气;很想要
参考例句:
  • She gasped at the wonderful view. 如此美景使她惊讶得屏住了呼吸。
  • People gasped with admiration at the superb skill of the gymnasts. 体操运动员的高超技艺令人赞叹。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
42 irrelevantly 364499529287275c4068bbe2e17e35de     
adv.不恰当地,不合适地;不相关地
参考例句:
  • To-morrow!\" Then she added irrelevantly: \"You ought to see the baby.\" 明天,”随即她又毫不相干地说:“你应当看看宝宝。” 来自英汉文学 - 盖茨比
  • Suddenly and irrelevantly, she asked him for money. 她突然很不得体地向他要钱。 来自互联网
43 alas Rx8z1     
int.唉(表示悲伤、忧愁、恐惧等)
参考例句:
  • Alas!The window is broken!哎呀!窗子破了!
  • Alas,the truth is less romantic.然而,真理很少带有浪漫色彩。
44 wrenched c171af0af094a9c29fad8d3390564401     
v.(猛力地)扭( wrench的过去式和过去分词 );扭伤;使感到痛苦;使悲痛
参考例句:
  • The bag was wrenched from her grasp. 那只包从她紧握的手里被夺了出来。
  • He wrenched the book from her hands. 他从她的手中把书拧抢了过来。 来自《简明英汉词典》
45 obedience 8vryb     
n.服从,顺从
参考例句:
  • Society has a right to expect obedience of the law.社会有权要求人人遵守法律。
  • Soldiers act in obedience to the orders of their superior officers.士兵们遵照上级军官的命令行动。
46 plighted f3fc40e356b1bec8147e96a94bfa4149     
vt.保证,约定(plight的过去式与过去分词形式)
参考例句:
  • They plighted their troth for the rest of their days. 他们俩盟誓结为终身伴侣。 来自辞典例句
  • Here and there a raw young lady does think of the friends of her plighted man. 这是阅历不深的的年轻姑娘对她未婚夫的朋友往往会持有的看法。 来自辞典例句


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