I booked the vacant slot.
After an accelerated workout at the gym, achieved by deletingthe shower and change tasks, I jogged to the lecture theatre,where I waited outside the staff entrance. Although I wasperspiring heavily from the heat and exercise, I was energised,both physically3 and mentally. As soon as my watch showed5.00 p.m., I walked in. Gene was at the lectern of thedarkened theatre, still talking, apparently4 oblivious5 to time,responding to a question about funding. My entrance hadallowed a shaft6 of light into the room, and I realised that theaudience’s eyes were now on me, as if expecting me to saysomething.
25/290‘Time’s up,’ I said. ‘I have a meeting with Gene.’
People immediately started getting up, and I observed the Deanin the front row with three people in corporate7 costumes. Iguessed that they were there as potential providers of financeand not because of an intellectual interest in primate8 sexualattraction. Gene is always trying to solicit9 money for research,and the Dean is constantly threatening to downsize the Geneticsand Psychology departments because of insufficient10 funding. It isnot an area I involve myself in.
Gene spoke11 over the chatter12. ‘I think my colleague ProfessorTillman has given us a signal that we should discuss thefinances, critical as they are to our ongoing13 work, at anothertime.’ He looked towards the Dean and her companions.
‘Thank you again for your interest in my work – and ofcourse that of my colleagues in the Department of Psychology.’
There was applause. It seemed that my intervention14 had beentimely.
The Dean and her corporate friends swept past me. She said,just to me, ‘Sorry to hold up your meeting, Professor Tillman.
I’m sure we can find the money elsewhere.’ This was good tohear, but now, annoyingly, there was a throng15 around Gene. Awoman with red hair and several metal objects in her ears wastalking to him. She was speaking quite loudly.
‘I can’t believe you used a public lecture to push your ownagenda.’
‘Lucky you came then. You’ve changed one of your beliefs.
That’d be a first.’
It was obvious that there was some animosity on the woman’spart even though Gene was smiling.
‘Even if you were right, which you’re not, what about the socialimpact?’
I was amazed by Gene’s next reply, not by its intent, which Iam familiar with, but by its subtle shift in topic. Gene has socialskills at a level that I will never have.
26/290‘This is sounding like a café discussion. Why don’t we pick itup over coffee sometime?’
‘Sorry,’ she said. ‘I’ve got research to do. You know, evidence.’
I moved to push in but a tall blonde woman was ahead ofme, and I did not want to risk body contact. She spoke with aNorwegian accent.
‘Professor Barrow?’ she said, meaning Gene. ‘With respect, Ithink you are oversimplifying the feminist16 position.’
‘If we’re going to talk philosophy, we should do it in a coffeeshop,’
Gene replied. ‘I’ll catch you at Barista’s in five.’
The woman nodded and walked towards the door.
Finally, we had time to talk.
‘What’s her accent?’ Gene asked me. ‘Swedish?’
‘Norwegian,’ I said. ‘I thought you had a Norwegian already.’
I told him that we had a discussion scheduled, but Gene wasnow focused on having coffee with the woman. Most maleanimals are programmed to give higher priority to sex than toassisting an unrelated individual, and Gene had the additionalmotivation of his research project. Arguing would be hopeless.
‘Book the next slot in my diary,’ he said.
The Beautiful Helena had presumably departed for the day, andI was again able to access Gene’s diary. I amended17 my ownschedule to accommodate the appointment. From now on, theWife Project would have maximum priority.
I waited until exactly 7.30 a.m. the next day before knockingon Gene and Claudia’s door. It had been necessary to shift myjog to the market for dinner purchases back to 5.45 a.m.,which in turn had meant going to bed earlier the previousnight, with a flow-on effect to a number of scheduled tasks.
I heard sounds of surprise through the door before theirdaughter Eugenie opened it. Eugenie was, as always, pleased tosee me, and requested that I hoist18 her onto my shoulders andjump all the way to the27/290kitchen. It was great fun. It occurred to me that I might beable to include Eugenie and her half-brother Carl as myfriends, making a total of four.
Gene and Claudia were eating breakfast, and told me that theyhad not been expecting me. I advised Gene to put his diaryonline – he could remain up to date and I would avoidunpleasant encounters with The Beautiful Helena. He was notenthusiastic.
I had missed breakfast, so I took a tub of yoghurt from therefrigerator. Sweetened! No wonder Gene is overweight. Claudiais not yet overweight, but I had noticed some increase. Ipointed out the problem, and identified the yoghurt as thepossible culprit.
Claudia asked whether I had enjoyed the Asperger’s lecture.
She was under the impression that Gene had delivered thelecture and I had merely attended. I corrected her mistake andtold her I had found the subject fascinating.
‘Did the symptoms remind you of anyone?’ she asked.
They certainly did. They were an almost perfect description ofLaszlo Hevesi in the Physics Department. I was about to relatethe famous story of Laszlo and the pyjamas20 when Gene’s sonCarl, who is sixteen, arrived in his school uniform. He walkedtowards the refrigerator, as if to open it, then suddenly spunaround and threw a full-blooded punch at my head. I caughtthe punch and pushed him gently but firmly to the floor, so hecould see that I was achieving the result with leverage21 ratherthan strength. This is a game we always play, but he had notnoticed the yoghurt, which was now on our clothes.
‘Stay still,’ said Claudia. ‘I’ll get a cloth.’
A cloth was not going to clean my shirt properly. Laundering22 ashirt requires a machine, detergent23, fabric24 softener25 andconsiderable time.
‘I’ll borrow one of Gene’s,’ I said, and headed to theirbedroom.
When I returned, wearing an uncomfortably large white shirt,with a decorative26 frill in the front, I tried to introduce the WifeProject, but28/290Claudia was engaged in child-related activities. This wasbecoming frustrating28. I booked dinner for Saturday night andasked them not to schedule any other conversation topics.
The delay was actually opportune29, as it enabled me toundertake some research on questionnaire design, draw up alist of desirable attributes, and produce a draft proformasurvey. All this, of course, had to be arranged around myteaching and research commitments and an appointment withthe Dean.
On Friday morning we had yet another unpleasant interactionas a result of me reporting an honours-year student foracademic dishon-esty. I had already caught Kevin Yu cheatingonce. Then, marking his most recent assignment, I hadrecognised a sentence from another student’s work of threeyears earlier.
Some investigation30 established that the past student was nowKevin’s private tutor, and had written at least part of his essayfor him.
This had all happened some weeks ago. I had reported thematter and expected the disciplinary process to take its course.
Apparently it was more complicated than this.
‘The situation with Kevin is a little awkward,’ said the Dean.
We were in her corporate-style office and she was wearing hercorporate-style costume of matching dark-blue skirt and jacket,which, according to Gene, is intended to make her appearmore powerful. She is a short, slim person, aged27 approximatelyfifty, and it is possible that the costume makes her appearbigger, but I cannot see the relevance31 of physical dominance inan academic environment.
‘This is Kevin’s third offence, and university policy requires thathe be expelled,’ she said.
The facts seemed to be clear and the necessary actionstraightforward. I tried to identify the awkwardness that theDean referred to. ‘Is the evidence insufficient? Is he making alegal challenge?’
29/290‘No, that’s all perfectly32 clear. But the first offence was verynaive. He cut and pasted from the internet, and was picked upby the plagiarism33 software. He was in his first year and hisEnglish wasn’t very good.
And there are cultural differences.’
I had not known about this first offence.
‘The second time, you reported him because he’d borrowedfrom an obscure paper that you were somehow familiar with.’
‘Correct.’
‘Don, none of the other lecturers are as … vigilant34 … as you.’
It was unusual for the Dean to compliment me on my widereading and dedication35.
‘These kids pay a lot of money to study here. We rely ontheir fees.
We don’t want them stealing blatantly36 from the internet. Butwe have to recognise that they need assistance, and … Kevinhas only a semester to go. We can’t send him home afterthree and a half years without a qualification. It’s not a goodlook.’
‘What if he was a medical student? What if you went to thehospital and the doctor who operated on you had cheated intheir exams?’
‘Kevin’s not a medical student. And he didn’t cheat on hisexams, he just got some help with an assignment.’
It seemed that the Dean had been flattering me only in orderto pro-cure unethical behaviour. But the solution to herdilemma was obvious. If she did not want to break the rules,then she should change the rules. I pointed19 this out.
I am not good at interpreting expressions, and was not familiarwith the one that appeared on the Dean’s face. ‘We can’t beseen to allow cheating.’
‘Even though we do?’
The meeting left me confused and angry. There were seriousmatters at stake. What if our research was not acceptedbecause we had a reputation for low academic standards?
People could die while cures for30/290diseases were delayed. What if a genetics laboratory hired aperson whose qualification had been achieved through cheating,and that person made major errors? The Dean seemed moreconcerned with perceptions than with these crucial matters.
I reflected on what it would be like to spend my life living withthe Dean. It was a truly terrible thought. The underlyingproblem was the preoccupation with image. My questionnairewould be ruthless in filtering out women who were concernedwith appearance.
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1
gene
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| n.遗传因子，基因 | |
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psychology
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| n.心理，心理学，心理状态 | |
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physically
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| adj.物质上，体格上，身体上，按自然规律 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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oblivious
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| adj.易忘的，遗忘的，忘却的，健忘的 | |
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shaft
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| n.(工具的)柄，杆状物 | |
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corporate
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| adj.共同的，全体的；公司的，企业的 | |
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primate
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| n.灵长类（目）动物，首席主教；adj.首要的 | |
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solicit
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| vi.勾引；乞求；vt.请求，乞求；招揽(生意) | |
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insufficient
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| adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的 | |
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spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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chatter
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| vi.／n.喋喋不休；短促尖叫；(牙齿)打战 | |
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ongoing
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| adj.进行中的，前进的 | |
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intervention
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| n.介入，干涉，干预 | |
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throng
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| n.人群，群众；v.拥挤，群集 | |
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feminist
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| adj.主张男女平等的，女权主义的 | |
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Amended
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| adj. 修正的 动词amend的过去式和过去分词 | |
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hoist
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| n.升高，起重机，推动；v.升起，升高，举起 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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pyjamas
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| n.（宽大的）睡衣裤 | |
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leverage
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| n.力量，影响；杠杆作用，杠杆的力量 | |
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laundering
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| n.洗涤（衣等），洗烫（衣等）；洗（钱）v.洗（衣服等），洗烫（衣服等）( launder的现在分词 )；洗（黑钱）（把非法收入改头换面，变为貌似合法的收入） | |
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detergent
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| n.洗涤剂；adj.有洗净力的 | |
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fabric
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| n.织物，织品，布；构造，结构，组织 | |
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softener
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| n.起软化作用的东西，软化剂，柔软剂 | |
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decorative
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| adj.装饰的，可作装饰的 | |
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aged
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| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
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frustrating
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| adj.产生挫折的，使人沮丧的，令人泄气的v.使不成功( frustrate的现在分词 )；挫败；使受挫折；令人沮丧 | |
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opportune
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| adj.合适的，适当的 | |
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investigation
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| n.调查，调查研究 | |
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relevance
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| n.中肯，适当，关联，相关性 | |
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perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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plagiarism
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| n.剽窃，抄袭 | |
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vigilant
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| adj.警觉的，警戒的，警惕的 | |
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dedication
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| n.奉献，献身，致力，题献，献辞 | |
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blatantly
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