She had left Staple2 for Chamwood on the day following that of Madame de Varigny’s visit. It was no longer possible for her to remain under the same roof with Blaise, where the enforced strain of meeting each other daily, and of endeavouring to behave as though nothing more than mere3 commonplace friendship linked them together, would have been too great for either of them to endure even for the few remaining days which still intervened before the date originally planned for her departure.
Lady Anne, with her usual sympathetic insight, had made no effort to dissuade4 her, reluctant though she had been to part with her. For herself, the fact that Nesta was alive had come upon her in the light of an almost overwhelming blow. She had never liked the girl, whereas she had grown to look upon Jean as a beloved daughter, and no one had rejoiced more sincerely than his mother when Blaise had confided5 to her the news of his engagement. At last she would see that grey page in his life turned down for ever and the beginning of a newer, fairer page, illuminated6 with happiness! And instead, like a tide that has receded7 far out and then rushes in again with redoubled energy, the whole misery8 and sorrow of the past had returned upon him, a thousand times accentuated9 by reason of his love for Jean.
It was with a heavy heart, therefore, that Lady Anne, together with Nick, quitted Staple and established herself for the second time at the Dower House, retiring thither10 in favour of Nesta who was now installed once more at the Manor11. And the thought of how gladly she would have effected the same change, had it been Jean whom Blaise was bringing home as his bride, added but a keener pang12 to her sorrow.
She watched with anxious eyes the progress of events at Staple. At the commencement of the new r茅gime Nesta had appeared genuinely repentant13 and ashamed of her conduct in the past, and there was something disarming14 in the little, half-apologetic air with which she had at first reassumed her position of ch芒telaine of Staple, deferring15 eagerly to Blaise on every point and trying her utmost to please him and conform to his wishes. It held something of the appeal of a forgiven child who tries to atone16 for former naughtiness by an almost alarming access of virtue17.
She accepted with meek18 docility19 Blaise’s decision regarding the purely20 formal relations upon which their married life was henceforth to be based, apparently22 humbly23 thankful to be reinstated as his wife on any terms whatsoever24 that he chose to dictate25..
“I know I have been bad—bad,” she declared, “to run away and leave you like that. I can’t”—forlornly—“hope for you to love me again——”
And Tormarin had replied with unmistakable decision:
“No, you can’t hope for that. And I’m glad you understand and recognise the fact. Still, we can try to be good friends, Nesta, at least.”
But this tranquil26 state of things only lasted for a comparatively short time. Very soon, as the novelty and satisfaction of her reinstatement began to wear off, Nesta became more self-assured and, apparently, considerably27 less frequently visited by spasms28 of repentance29 and remorse30.
Her butterfly nature could retain no very deep impression for any length of time, and gradually the characteristics of the old Nesta—the pettish31, self-willed, pleasure-loving woman of former times—began to reassert themselves.
Blaise tried hard to exercise forbearance with her and to treat her, at least with justice and with a certain meed of kindliness32. But she did not second his efforts. Instead, she became more exigeant and difficult as time passed on.
She was no longer satisfied by the fact that she was once more installed as the mistress of Staple. She demanded a husband who would surround her with all the little observances that only love itself can dictate, whom she could alternately scold and cajole as the fancy took her, but who would always come back to her, after a tiff33, ready anew to play the adoring lover.
She found Blaise’s cool, measured, elder-brotherly kindness unendurable, and she exhausted34 herself beating continually against the rock of his determination, without producing any effect other than to make his manner even more austere35, less friendly than it had been before.
Then when she recognised her total inability to move him to any sort of responsive emotion, and that her beauty—which was undeniable—made no more impression upon him than if he had been blind, she resorted to the old, painfully, familiar weapons of tears and fits of temper, in the course of which she would upbraid36 him bitterly, pouring forth21 streams of reproaches which more often than not culminated37 in an attack of hysterics.
All of which Blaise bore with a curious, stoical self-control. It seemed as though the Tormarin temper had been exorcised, as if that fierce storm of anger provoked by Madame de Varigny’s taunts38, and which had so nearly resulted in a tragedy, had shocked Blaise into realisation of the terrible latent possibilities of the family failing and the absolute necessity for an iron self-government.
For weeks he supported Nesta’s petty gibes39 and ebullitions of temper with illimitable patience, and it was only when, trading on his unaccustomed forbearance, she ventured too far, that she was brought very suddenly to understand that there was a limit beyond which she might not go.
“I know why you no longer love me,” she told him at last, on an occasion when she had been vainly endeavouring, by every feminine blandishment and wile40 of which she was mistress, to evoke41 from him some sign of an awakening42 tendresse. “I know!”
She nodded her dark head significantly, while pin-points of jealous anger flickered43 in her long, narrow eyes, black as midnight.
“Then, if you know,” replied Tormarin patiently, “it is surely most foolish of you to keep asking why I do not. Why can’t you content yourself with things as they are, Nesta? We can only try to make the best of a bad job. You don’t help me much in the matter.”
“I don’t want to help you,” she retorted viciously. “I want you to love me. And you won’t, because of that washed-out-looking, carroty-haired woman who is living with Lady Latimer. And she’s in love with you, too!... No! I won’t be quiet! Oh!”—her voice rising hysterically—“you think I don’t notice things, but I do. I do, I tell you!”
She sprang up from the couch, where she had been lolling indolently amid a heap of cushions, and crossed the room to his side.
“Do you hear me?” she cried violently, shaking him by the arm. “You think I’m a blind fool! But I’m not! I’m not! I’ve seen that Peterson woman looking at you like a cat looking through the larder44 window——”
Suddenly she felt Blaise’s hand clapped against her lips, stemming the torrent45 of vulgar recrimination and abuse that poured from them. He held it there quite gently, so as not to hurt her, but immovably, and she had perforce to hear what he wished to say in rebellious46 silence.
“Listen to me,” he said gently. “It is quite true what you say—that I love Jean Peterson and that she loves me. But we have given up our love, and with it our hope of happiness in this world, for you. In return, you will give up something for us. You will give up the infinite pleasure you appear to derive47 from vilifying48 and belittling49 a woman who is as much above you as the heavens are above the earth, whose conception of love is as fine and pure as yours is mean and commonplace and jealous. You will never again speak to Miss Peterson with anything but respect, nor will you ever again refer to the love which you now know for a fact exists between us. Your lips soil such love as ours. If you do, if you disobey my commands in either of these respects, you go out of my house that same day. And you don’t return.”
He released her and had the satisfaction, for once, of perceiving that she believed he meant what he said. Presumably she came to the conclusion that, in the circumstances, discretion50 was the better part of valour, for she made no attempt to challenge his determination in the matter.
At the same time, unknown to him, she compelled Jean to pay for the silence enforced upon her at home. With a species of venom51, absurdly childish in its manifestation52, she essayed to excite Jean’s envy by constantly enlarging to her upon the subject of Blaise’s perfections as a husband, drawing entirely53 imaginary descriptions of the attention he paid her and of his constant solicitude54 for her welfare, and vaunting her happiness at being his wife.
“I am so proud to have won so fine and splendid a husband,” she would declare fervently55. “Would you not feel the same, Miss Peterson, if you were me?”
And Jean would make answer, outwardly unmoved:
“Indeed I should. You ought to be a happy woman, Mrs. Tormarin.”
The quiet composure which Jean invariably opposed to these knat-like attacks annoyed Nesta intensely. Endowed with all the petty jealousy56 of a small nature, she herself, had the situation been reversed, would have found this pinprick kind of warfare57 insupportable, and it made her furious that her best thought-out and most spiteful efforts failed to goad58 Jean into any expression of either anger or distress59. The “cold Englishwoman’s” armour60 of indifference61 and reserve seemed impervious62 to no matter what poison-tipped dart63 she loosed against her.
Nesta felt that, as the woman in possession, she was missing half the satisfaction in life by reason of her inability to triumph openly over the other woman—the woman without the gate. Finally, at the end of her resources of innuendo64 and allusion65, she tried the effect of open warfare.
She had driven over to Charnwood to call and, as Claire was away, spending the afternoon with friends, Jean had perforce to entertain her undesired visitor alone. It was just as she was preparing to take her departure that Nesta launched her attack.
“You look so ill, Miss Peterson,” she remarked commiseratingly. “So pale and worn! It does not suit you, I am sure, for of course you must have been very pretty at one time for my husband to have wished to marry you.”
Jean stared at her without reply. The outrageous66 speech almost took her breath away, by its sheer, impudent67 bravado68.
“There!” Nesta feigned69 dismay. “Now I have offended you! And I so want us to be good friends. But of course”—quickly—“it is difficult for you to feel friendly towards the wife of Blaise. I can understand that. I suppose”—her head a little tilted70 to one side like that of an enquiring71 robin72 and her eyes fastened on the other’s white face with a merciless, gimlet gaze that filled Jean with helpless rage—“I suppose you loved him very much?”
Jean felt the blood rush into her cheeks and caught a responsive gleam of satisfaction in the other’s half-closed eyes.
“I think that is hardly a subject which can be discussed between us,” she said, with a supreme73 effort at self-control.
And then, to her unbounded thankfulness, Tucker threw open the door and announced that Mrs. Tormarin’s car was waiting.
This open declaration of hostility74 on Nesta’s part gave Jean food for reflection. Briefly75 she recounted the incident to Claire, adding:
“It means I must not go to Staple again. If she intends to adopt that attitude, it would make a situation which is already quite difficult enough hopelessly impossible.”
The two girls were pacing up and down the terrace at Charnwood together when Jean indicated the consequences of Nesta’s visit, and Claire, sensing the pain in her friend’s voice, pressed her arm sympathetically. But she said nothing. What was there to say? Within herself, she felt that Jean’s determination to eschew76 the Tormarin menage altogether was the only wise one.
“Poor Blaise!” pursued Jean, a slight tremor77 in her voice. “He has the hardest part to bear. She must make life hideously78 difficult for him.”
Claire nodded.
“Yes. He is looking very fagged and strained. Horrid79 little beast!” she added with unusual vehemence80. “Why on earth couldn’t she have stayed dead?”
Jean laughed joylessly.
“Why indeed?—Only she never really died, you see.”
“Jean”—Claire’s hand crept further along the other’s arm and the kind little fingers sought and clasped Jean’s own—“if you knew how miserable81 I am about you! It makes me feel wicked—disgustingly selfish and wicked!—to be so happy myself when you have so much to bear.”
There were tears in her voice, and Jean squeezed her hand reassuringly82.
“My dear,” she said earnestly, “you had your black years if anyone ever had! If a woman ever deserved her happiness at last, you do.... I suppose we all get our share of trouble in this world,” she went on thoughtfully. “I remember the first time I ever met Blaise—that day at Montavan, you know—he said that Destiny, with her snuffers, came to most of us sooner or later and snuffed out our light of happiness. Well”—rather drearily—“I suppose it’s my turn now and she’s come to me. That’s all.”
A little wind blew up from the valley, chill and complaining. Autumn had the world at her mercy now, and a grey mist was rising from the sodden83 fields, soaked by the continual rains of the preceding fortnight.
Claire shivered.
“Let’s go in,” she said. “It’s growing too cold to stay out any longer. Besides, it’s depressing. Grey skies, bare branches—Oh! How I detest84 the autumn!” They turned and retraced85 their steps to the house. As they entered by way of the front door, they caught a glimpse of the postman making his way briskly down the drive. A solitary86 letter lay upon the hall table, addressed to Jean in a rather flourishy copper-plate style of writing.
“A bill, I suppose!” she commented indifferently.
She picked it up carelessly, carrying it unopened to her room. Nor did she open it immediately upon arriving there, stopping first to remove her hat and coat.
When at last she slit87 the envelope she found that it was no tradesman’s bill, as she had imagined, but a letter from Glyn Peterson’s family solicitor88, announcing, in the stiff phraseology without which no lawyer seems able to express himself, the sudden death of her father.
Jean sat down abruptly89, her legs seeming all at once to give way under her. She could not grasp it—could not realise that the witty90, charming personality which, after all, in spite of Peterson’s lack of the more conventional paternal91 attributes, had meant a great deal to her, had been swept without warning out of her life for ever.
Glyn Peterson had, it seemed, died very suddenly, in a remote corner of Africa whither his restless wanderings had led him, and it had been some weeks before the news of his death had reached his lawyer, who had immediately communicated it to Jean.
By his will, everything he possessed92, except for a certain sum set aside to cover a few legacies93 to old and valued servants, was left to Jean, and with the quaint94 whimsicality which was characteristic of him he had particularly mentioned: “Beirnfels, the House of Dreams-Come-True.”
The little phrase, with its suggestion of joyous95 consummation, stabbed her with a sharp thrill of pain. Greeting her, as it did, at the moment when all her hopes of happiness were lying trampled96 beneath the iron heel of hostile destiny, it seemed to add a last touch of irony97 to the bitterness of the burden she had to bear.
The House of Dreams-Come-True! In the solicitude and silence of her room Jean laughed out loud at the mockery of it! But her breath caught in her throat, sobbingly98, and then quite suddenly the merciful, healing tears began to fall, and, laying her head down on her arms, she cried unrestrainedly.
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1
entailed
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| 使…成为必要( entail的过去式和过去分词 )； 需要； 限定继承； 使必需 | |
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staple
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| n.主要产物，常用品，主要要素，原料，订书钉，钩环；adj.主要的，重要的；vt.分类 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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dissuade
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| v.劝阻，阻止 | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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illuminated
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| adj.被照明的；受启迪的 | |
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receded
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| v.逐渐远离( recede的过去式和过去分词 )；向后倾斜；自原处后退或避开别人的注视；尤指问题 | |
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8
misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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accentuated
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| v.重读( accentuate的过去式和过去分词 )；使突出；使恶化；加重音符号于 | |
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thither
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| adv.向那里；adj.在那边的，对岸的 | |
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manor
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| n.庄园，领地 | |
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pang
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| n.剧痛，悲痛，苦闷 | |
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repentant
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| adj.对…感到悔恨的 | |
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14
disarming
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| adj.消除敌意的，使人消气的v.裁军( disarm的现在分词 )；使息怒 | |
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15
deferring
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| v.拖延，延缓，推迟( defer的现在分词 )；服从某人的意愿，遵从 | |
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atone
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| v.赎罪，补偿 | |
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virtue
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| n.德行，美德；贞操；优点；功效，效力 | |
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18
meek
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| adj.温顺的，逆来顺受的 | |
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docility
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| n.容易教，易驾驶，驯服 | |
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purely
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| adv.纯粹地，完全地 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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apparently
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| adv.显然地；表面上，似乎 | |
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humbly
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| adv. 恭顺地，谦卑地 | |
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whatsoever
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| adv.（用于否定句中以加强语气）任何；pron.无论什么 | |
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dictate
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| v.口授；(使)听写；指令，指示，命令 | |
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tranquil
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| adj. 安静的, 宁静的, 稳定的, 不变的 | |
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considerably
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| adv.极大地；相当大地；在很大程度上 | |
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spasms
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| n.痉挛( spasm的名词复数 )；抽搐；（能量、行为等的）突发；发作 | |
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repentance
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| n.懊悔 | |
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remorse
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| n.痛恨，悔恨，自责 | |
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pettish
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| adj.易怒的，使性子的 | |
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kindliness
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| n.厚道，亲切，友好的行为 | |
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tiff
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| n.小争吵，生气 | |
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exhausted
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| adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的 | |
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austere
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| adj.艰苦的；朴素的，朴实无华的；严峻的 | |
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upbraid
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| v.斥责，责骂，责备 | |
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culminated
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| v.达到极点( culminate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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taunts
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| 嘲弄的言语，嘲笑，奚落( taunt的名词复数 ) | |
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gibes
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| vi.嘲笑，嘲弄（gibe的第三人称单数形式） | |
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40
wile
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| v.诡计，引诱；n.欺骗，欺诈 | |
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41
evoke
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| vt.唤起，引起，使人想起 | |
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42
awakening
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| n.觉醒，醒悟 adj.觉醒中的；唤醒的 | |
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43
flickered
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| （通常指灯光）闪烁，摇曳( flicker的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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44
larder
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| n.食物贮藏室，食品橱 | |
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45
torrent
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| n.激流，洪流；爆发，(话语等的)连发 | |
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46
rebellious
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| adj.造反的，反抗的，难控制的 | |
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47
derive
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| v.取得；导出；引申；来自；源自；出自 | |
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48
vilifying
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| v.中伤，诽谤( vilify的现在分词 ) | |
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49
belittling
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| 使显得微小，轻视，贬低( belittle的现在分词 ) | |
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50
discretion
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| n.谨慎；随意处理 | |
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51
venom
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| n.毒液，恶毒，痛恨 | |
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52
manifestation
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| n.表现形式；表明；现象 | |
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53
entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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54
solicitude
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| n.焦虑 | |
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55
fervently
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| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
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56
jealousy
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| n.妒忌，嫉妒，猜忌 | |
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57
warfare
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| n.战争(状态)；斗争；冲突 | |
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58
goad
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| n.刺棒，刺痛物；激励；vt.激励，刺激 | |
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59
distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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60
armour
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| （=armor）n.盔甲；装甲部队 | |
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61
indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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62
impervious
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| adj.不能渗透的，不能穿过的，不易伤害的 | |
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63
dart
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| v.猛冲，投掷；n.飞镖，猛冲 | |
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64
innuendo
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| n.暗指，讽刺 | |
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allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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66
outrageous
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| adj.无理的，令人不能容忍的 | |
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67
impudent
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| adj.鲁莽的，卑鄙的，厚颜无耻的 | |
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68
bravado
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| n.虚张声势，故作勇敢，逞能 | |
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69
feigned
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| a.假装的，不真诚的 | |
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70
tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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71
enquiring
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| a.爱打听的，显得好奇的 | |
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robin
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| n.知更鸟，红襟鸟 | |
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supreme
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| adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的 | |
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hostility
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| n.敌对，敌意；抵制［pl.］交战，战争 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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eschew
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| v.避开，戒绝 | |
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tremor
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| n.震动，颤动，战栗，兴奋，地震 | |
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hideously
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| adv.可怕地，非常讨厌地 | |
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horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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vehemence
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| n.热切；激烈；愤怒 | |
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miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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reassuringly
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| ad.安心，可靠 | |
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sodden
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| adj.浑身湿透的；v.使浸透；使呆头呆脑 | |
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detest
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| vt.痛恨，憎恶 | |
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retraced
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| v.折回( retrace的过去式和过去分词 )；回忆；回顾；追溯 | |
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solitary
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| adj.孤独的，独立的，荒凉的；n.隐士 | |
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slit
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| n.狭长的切口；裂缝；vt.切开，撕裂 | |
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solicitor
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| n.初级律师，事务律师 | |
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abruptly
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| adv.突然地，出其不意地 | |
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witty
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| adj.机智的，风趣的 | |
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paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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possessed
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| adj.疯狂的；拥有的，占有的 | |
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legacies
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| n.遗产( legacy的名词复数 )；遗留之物；遗留问题；后遗症 | |
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quaint
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| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
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joyous
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| adj.充满快乐的；令人高兴的 | |
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trampled
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| 踩( trample的过去式和过去分词 )； 践踏； 无视； 侵犯 | |
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irony
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| n.反语，冷嘲；具有讽刺意味的事，嘲弄 | |
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sobbingly
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| 啜泣地，呜咽地，抽抽噎噎地 | |
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