IS WHOLLY DEVOTED1 TO A FULL ANDFAITHFUL REPORT OF THE MEMORABLETRIAL OF BARDELL AGAINST PICKWICKwonder what the foreman of the jury, whoever he’ll be, hasgot for breakfast,’ said Mr. Snodgrass, by way of keepingup a conversation on the eventful morning of thefourteenth of February.
‘Ah!’ said Perker, ‘I hope he’s got a good one.’
‘Why so?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.
‘Highly important―very important, my dear sir,’ repliedPerker. ‘A good, contented2, well-breakfasted juryman is a capitalthing to get hold of. Discontented or hungry jurymen, my dear sir,always find for the plaintiff.’
‘Bless my heart,’ said Mr. Pickwick, looking very blank, ‘whatdo they do that for?’
‘Why, I don’t know,’ replied the little man coolly; ‘saves time, Isuppose. If it’s near dinner-time, the foreman takes out his watchwhen the jury has retired3, and says, “Dear me, gentlemen, tenminutes to five, I declare! I dine at five, gentlemen.” “So do I,”
says everybody else, except two men who ought to have dined atthree and seem more than half disposed to stand out inconsequence. The foreman smiles, and puts up his watch:―“Well,gentlemen, what do we say, plaintiff or defendant4, gentlemen? Irather think, so far as I am concerned, gentlemen,―I say, I ratherthink―but don’t let that influence you―I rather think theplaintiff’s the man.” Upon this, two or three other men are sure tosay that they think so too―as of course they do; and then they geton very unanimously and comfortably. Ten minutes past nine!’
said the little man, looking at his watch. ‘Time we were off, mydear sir; breach5 of promise trial-court is generally full in suchcases. You had better ring for a coach, my dear sir, or we shall berather late.’
Mr. Pickwick immediately rang the bell, and a coach havingbeen procured6, the four Pickwickians and Mr. Perker ensconcedthemselves therein, and drove to Guildhall; Sam Weller, Mr.
Lowten, and the blue bag, following in a cab.
‘Lowten,’ said Perker, when they reached the outer hall of thecourt, ‘put Mr. Pickwick’s friends in the students’ box; Mr.
Pickwick himself had better sit by me. This way, my dear sir, thisway.’ Taking Mr. Pickwick by the coat sleeve, the little man ledhim to the low seat just beneath the desks of the King’s Counsel,which is constructed for the convenience of attorneys, who fromthat spot can whisper into the ear of the leading counsel in thecase, any instructions that may be necessary during the progressof the trial. The occupants of this seat are invisible to the greatbody of spectators, inasmuch as they sit on a much lower levelthan either the barristers or the audience, whose seats are raisedabove the floor. Of course they have their backs to both, and theirfaces towards the judge.
‘That’s the witness-box, I suppose?’ said Mr. Pickwick, pointingto a kind of pulpit, with a brass7 rail, on his left hand.
‘That’s the witness-box, my dear sir,’ replied Perker,disinterring a quantity of papers from the blue bag, which Lowtenhad just deposited at his feet.
‘And that,’ said Mr. Pickwick, pointing to a couple of enclosedseats on his right, ‘that’s where the jurymen sit, is it not?’
‘The identical place, my dear sir,’ replied Perker, tapping the lidof his snuff-box.
Mr. Pickwick stood up in a state of great agitation8, and took aglance at the court. There were already a pretty large sprinkling ofspectators in the gallery, and a numerous muster9 of gentlemen inwigs, in the barristers’ seats, who presented, as a body, all thatpleasing and extensive variety of nose and whisker for which theBar of England is so justly celebrated11. Such of the gentlemen ashad a brief to carry, carried it in as conspicuous12 a manner aspossible, and occasionally scratched their noses therewith, toimpress the fact more strongly on the observation of thespectators. Other gentlemen, who had no briefs to show, carriedunder their arms goodly octavos, with a red label behind, and thatunder-done-pie-crust-coloured cover, which is technically13 knownas ‘law calf14.’ Others, who had neither briefs nor books, thrust theirhands into their pockets, and looked as wise as they convenientlycould; others, again, moved here and there with great restlessnessand earnestness of manner, content to awaken15 thereby16 theadmiration and astonishment18 of the uninitiated strangers. Thewhole, to the great wonderment of Mr, Pickwick, were divided intolittle groups, who were chatting and discussing the news of theday in the most unfeeling manner possible―just as if no trial at allwere coming on.
A bow from Mr. Phunky, as he entered, and took his seatbehind the row appropriated to the King’s Counsel, attracted Mr.
Pickwick’s attention; and he had scarcely returned it, when Mr.
Serjeant Snubbin appeared, followed by Mr. Mallard, who half hidthe Serjeant behind a large crimson19 bag, which he placed on histable, and, after shaking hands with Perker, withdrew. Then thereentered two or three more Serjeants; and among them, one with afat body and a red face, who nodded in a friendly manner to Mr.
Serjeant Snubbin, and said it was a fine morning.
‘Who’s that red-faced man, who said it was a fine morning, andnodded to our counsel?’ whispered Mr. Pickwick.
‘Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz,’ replied Perker. ‘He’s opposed to us; heleads on the other side. That gentleman behind him is Mr.
Skimpin, his junior.’
Mr. Pickwick was on the point of inquiring, with greatabhorrence of the man’s cold-blooded villainy, how Mr, SerjeantBuzfuz, who was counsel for the opposite party, dared to presumeto tell Mr. Serjeant Snubbin, who was counsel for him, that it wasa fine morning, when he was interrupted by a general rising of thebarristers, and a loud cry of ‘Silence!’ from the officers of thecourt. Looking round, he found that this was caused by theentrance of the judge.
Mr. Justice Stareleigh (who sat in the absence of the ChiefJustice, occasioned by indisposition) was a most particularly shortman, and so fat, that he seemed all face and waistcoat. He rolledin, upon two little turned legs, and having bobbed gravely to theBar, who bobbed gravely to him, put his little legs underneath20 histable, and his little three-cornered hat upon it; and when Mr.
Justice Stareleigh had done this, all you could see of him was twoqueer little eyes, one broad pink face, and somewhere about halfof a big and very comical-looking wig10.
The judge had no sooner taken his seat, than the officer on thefloor of the court called out ‘Silence!’ in a commanding tone, uponwhich another officer in the gallery cried ‘Silence!’ in an angrymanner, whereupon three or four more ushers21 shouted ‘Silence!’
in a voice of indignant remonstrance23. This being done, agentleman in black, who sat below the judge, proceeded to callover the names of the jury; and after a great deal of bawling24, it wasdiscovered that only ten special jurymen were present. Upon this,Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz prayed a tales; the gentleman in black thenproceeded to press into the special jury, two of the commonjurymen; and a greengrocer and a chemist were caught directly.
‘Answer to your names, gentlemen, that you may be sworn,’
said the gentleman in black. ‘Richard Upwitch.’
‘Here,’ said the greengrocer.
‘Thomas Groffin.’
‘Here,’ said the chemist.
‘Take the book, gentlemen. You shall well and truly try―’
‘I beg this court’s pardon,’ said the chemist, who was a tall, thin,yellow-visaged man, ‘but I hope this court will excuse myattendance.’
‘On what grounds, sir?’ said Mr. Justice Stareleigh.
‘I have no assistant, my Lord,’ said the chemist.
‘I can’t help that, sir,’ replied Mr. Justice Stareleigh. ‘Youshould hire one.’
‘I can’t afford it, my Lord,’ rejoined the chemist.
‘Then you ought to be able to afford it, sir,’ said the judge,reddening; for Mr. Justice Stareleigh’s temper bordered on theirritable, and brooked25 not contradiction.
‘I know I ought to do, if I got on as well as I deserved; but Idon’t, my Lord,’ answered the chemist.
‘Swear the gentleman,’ said the judge peremptorily26.
The officer had got no further than the ‘You shall well and trulytry,’ when he was again interrupted by the chemist.
‘I am to be sworn, my Lord, am I?’ said the chemist.
‘Certainly, sir,’ replied the testy27 little judge.
‘Very well, my Lord,’ replied the chemist, in a resigned manner.
‘Then there’ll be murder before this trial’s over; that’s all. Swearme, if you please, sir;’ and sworn the chemist was, before the judgecould find words to utter.
‘I merely wanted to observe, my Lord,’ said the chemist, takinghis seat with great deliberation, ‘that I’ve left nobody but anerrand-boy in my shop. He is a very nice boy, my Lord, but he isnot acquainted with drugs; and I know that the prevailingimpression on his mind is, that Epsom salts means oxalic acid; andsyrup of senna, laudanum. That’s all, my Lord.’ With this, the tallchemist composed himself into a comfortable attitude, and,assuming a pleasant expression of countenance29, appeared to haveprepared himself for the worst.
Mr. Pickwick was regarding the chemist with feelings of thedeepest horror, when a slight sensation was perceptible in thebody of the court; and immediately afterwards Mrs. Bardell,supported by Mrs. Cluppins, was led in, and placed, in a droopingstate, at the other end of the seat on which Mr. Pickwick sat. Anextra-sized umbrella was then handed in by Mr. Dodson, and apair of pattens by Mr. Fogg, each of whom had prepared a mostsympathising and melancholy30 face for the occasion. Mrs. Sandersthen appeared, leading in Master Bardell. At sight of her child,Mrs. Bardell started; suddenly recollecting32 herself, she kissed himin a frantic33 manner; then relapsing into a state of hystericalimbecility, the good lady requested to be informed where she was.
In reply to this, Mrs. Cluppins and Mrs. Sanders turned theirheads away and wept, while Messrs. Dodson and Fogg entreatedthe plaintiff to compose herself. Serjeant Buzfuz rubbed his eyesvery hard with a large white handkerchief, and gave an appealinglook towards the jury, while the judge was visibly affected36, andseveral of the beholders tried to cough down their emotion.
‘Very good notion that indeed,’ whispered Perker to Mr.
Pickwick. ‘Capital fellows those Dodson and Fogg; excellent ideasof effect, my dear sir, excellent.’
As Perker spoke37, Mrs. Bardell began to recover by slowdegrees, while Mrs. Cluppins, after a careful survey of MasterBardell’s buttons and the button-holes to which they severallybelonged, placed him on the floor of the court in front of hismother―a commanding position in which he could not fail toawaken the full commiseration38 and sympathy of both judge andjury. This was not done without considerable opposition39, andmany tears, on the part of the young gentleman himself, who hadcertain inward misgivings40 that the placing him within the fullglare of the judge’s eye was only a formal prelude41 to his beingimmediately ordered away for instant execution, or fortransportation beyond the seas, during the whole term of hisnatural life, at the very least.
‘Bardell and Pickwick,’ cried the gentleman in black, calling onthe case, which stood first on the list.
‘I am for the plaintiff, my Lord,’ said Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz.
‘Who is with you, Brother Buzfuz?’ said the judge. Mr. Skimpinbowed, to intimate that he was.
‘I appear for the defendant, my Lord,’ said Mr. SerjeantSnubbin.
‘Anybody with you, Brother Snubbin?’ inquired the court.
‘Mr. Phunky, my Lord,’ replied Serjeant Snubbin.
‘Serjeant Buzfuz and Mr. Skimpin for the plaintiff,’ said thejudge, writing down the names in his note-book, and reading as hewrote; ‘for the defendant, Serjeant Snubbin and Mr. Monkey.’
‘Beg your Lordship’s pardon, Phunky.’
‘Oh, very good,’ said the judge; ‘I never had the pleasure ofhearing the gentleman’s name before.’ Here Mr. Phunky bowedand smiled, and the judge bowed and smiled too, and then Mr.
Phunky, blushing into the very whites of his eyes, tried to look as ifhe didn’t know that everybody was gazing at him, a thing which noman ever succeeded in doing yet, or in all reasonable probability,ever will.
‘Go on,’ said the judge.
The ushers again called silence, and Mr. Skimpin proceeded to‘open the case’; and the case appeared to have very little inside itwhen he had opened it, for he kept such particulars as he knew,completely to himself, and sat down, after a lapse42 of three minutes,leaving the jury in precisely43 the same advanced stage of wisdom asthey were in before.
Serjeant Buzfuz then rose with all the majesty44 and dignitywhich the grave nature of the proceedings45 demanded, and havingwhispered to Dodson, and conferred briefly46 with Fogg, pulled hisgown over his shoulders, settled his wig, and addressed the jury.
Serjeant Buzfuz began by saying, that never, in the wholecourse of his professional experience―never, from the very firstmoment of his applying himself to the study and practice of thelaw―had he approached a case with feelings of such deepemotion, or with such a heavy sense of the responsibility imposedupon him―a responsibility, he would say, which he could neverhave supported, were he not buoyed47 up and sustained by aconviction so strong, that it amounted to positive certainty that thecause of truth and justice, or, in other words, the cause of hismuch-injured and most oppressed client, must prevail with thehigh-minded and intelligent dozen of men whom he now saw inthat box before him.
Counsel usually begin in this way, because it puts the jury onthe very best terms with themselves, and makes them think whatsharp fellows they must be. A visible effect was producedimmediately, several jurymen beginning to take voluminous noteswith the utmost eagerness.
‘You have heard from my learned friend, gentlemen,’ continuedSerjeant Buzfuz, well knowing that, from the learned friendalluded to, the gentlemen of the jury had heard just nothing atall―‘you have heard from my learned friend, gentlemen, that thisis an action for a breach of promise of marriage, in which thedamages are laid at ?1,500. But you have not heard from mylearned friend, inasmuch as it did not come within my learnedfriend’s province to tell you, what are the facts and circumstancesof the case. Those facts and circumstances, gentlemen, you shallhear detailed48 by me, and proved by the unimpeachable49 femalewhom I will place in that box before you.’
Here, Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz, with a tremendous emphasis on theword ‘box,’ smote50 his table with a mighty51 sound, and glanced atDodson and Fogg, who nodded admiration17 of the Serjeant, andindignant defiance52 of the defendant.
‘The plaintiff, gentlemen,’ continued Serjeant Buzfuz, in a softand melancholy voice, ‘the plaintiff is a widow; yes, gentlemen, awidow. The late Mr. Bardell, after enjoying, for many years, theesteem and confidence of his sovereign, as one of the guardians53 ofhis royal revenues, glided54 almost imperceptibly from the world, toseek elsewhere for that repose55 and peace which a custom-housecan never afford.’ At this pathetic description of the decease of Mr.
Bardell, who had been knocked on the head with a quart-pot in apublic-house cellar, the learned serjeant’s voice faltered56, and heproceeded, with emotion―‘Some time before his death, he had stamped his likeness57 upona little boy. With this little boy, the only pledge of her departedexciseman, Mrs. Bardell shrank from the world, and courted theretirement and tranquillity58 of Goswell Street; and here she placedin her front parlour window a written placard, bearing thisinscription―“Apartments furnished for a single gentleman.
Inquire within.”’ Here Serjeant Buzfuz paused, while severalgentlemen of the jury took a note of the document.
‘There is no date to that, is there?’ inquired a juror. ‘There is nodate, gentlemen,’ replied Serjeant Buzfuz; ‘but I am instructed tosay that it was put in the plaintiff’s parlour window just this timethree years. I entreat34 the attention of the jury to the wording ofthis document―“Apartments furnished for a single gentleman”!
Mrs. Bardell’s opinions of the opposite sex, gentlemen, werederived from a long contemplation of the inestimable qualities ofher lost husband. She had no fear, she had no distrust, she had nosuspicion; all was confidence and reliance. “Mr. Bardell,” said thewidow―“Mr. Bardell was a man of honour, Mr. Bardell was a manof his word, Mr. Bardell was no deceiver, Mr. Bardell was once asingle gentleman himself; to single gentlemen I look for protection,for assistance, for comfort, and for consolation59; in singlegentlemen I shall perpetually see something to remind me of whatMr. Bardell was when he first won my young and untriedaffections; to a single gentleman, then, shall my lodgings60 be let.”
Actuated by this beautiful and touching61 impulse (among the bestimpulses of our imperfect nature, gentlemen), the lonely anddesolate widow dried her tears, furnished her first floor, caughther innocent boy to her maternal62 bosom63, and put the bill up in herparlour window. Did it remain there long? No. The serpent was onthe watch, the train was laid, the mine was preparing, the sapperand miner was at work. Before the bill had been in the parlourwindow three days―three days, gentlemen―a being, erect64 upontwo legs, and bearing all the outward semblance65 of a man, and notof a monster, knocked at the door of Mrs. Bardell’s house. Heinquired within―he took the lodgings; and on the very next dayhe entered into possession of them. This man was Pickwick―Pickwick, the defendant.’
Serjeant Buzfuz, who had proceeded with such volubility thathis face was perfectly66 crimson, here paused for breath. The silenceawoke Mr. Justice Stareleigh, who immediately wrote downsomething with a pen without any ink in it, and looked unusuallyprofound, to impress the jury with the belief that he alwaysthought most deeply with his eyes shut. Serjeant Buzfuzproceeded―‘Of this man Pickwick I will say little; the subject presents butfew attractions; and I, gentlemen, am not the man, nor are you,gentlemen, the men, to delight in the contemplation of revoltingheartlessness, and of systematic67 villainy.’
Here Mr. Pickwick, who had been writhing68 in silence for sometime, gave a violent start, as if some vague idea of assaultingSerjeant Buzfuz, in the august presence of justice and law,suggested itself to his mind. An admonitory gesture from Perkerrestrained him, and he listened to the learned gentleman’scontinuation with a look of indignation, which contrasted forciblywith the admiring faces of Mrs. Cluppins and Mrs. Sanders.
‘I say systematic villainy, gentlemen,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz,looking through Mr. Pickwick, and talking at him; ‘and when I saysystematic villainy, let me tell the defendant Pickwick, if he be incourt, as I am informed he is, that it would have been more decentin him, more becoming, in better judgment69, and in better taste, ifhe had stopped away. Let me tell him, gentlemen, that anygestures of dissent70 or disapprobation in which he may indulge inthis court will not go down with you; that you will know how tovalue and how to appreciate them; and let me tell him further, asmy Lord will tell you, gentlemen, that a counsel, in the dischargeof his duty to his client, is neither to be intimidated71 nor bullied,nor put down; and that any attempt to do either the one or theother, or the first, or the last, will recoil72 on the head of theattempter, be he plaintiff or be he defendant, be his namePickwick, or Noakes, or Stoakes, or Stiles, or Brown, orThompson.’
This little divergence73 from the subject in hand, had, of course,the intended effect of turning all eyes to Mr. Pickwick. SerjeantBuzfuz, having partially75 recovered from the state of moralelevation into which he had lashed76 himself, resumed―‘I shall show you, gentlemen, that for two years, Pickwickcontinued to reside constantly, and without interruption orintermission, at Mrs. Bardell’s house. I shall show you that Mrs.
Bardell, during the whole of that time, waited on him, attended tohis comforts, cooked his meals, looked out his linen77 for thewasherwoman when it went abroad, darned, aired, and preparedit for wear, when it came home, and, in short, enjoyed his fullesttrust and confidence. I shall show you that, on many occasions, hegave halfpence, and on some occasions even sixpences, to her littleboy; and I shall prove to you, by a witness whose testimony78 it willbe impossible for my learned friend to weaken or controvert79, thaton one occasion he patted the boy on the head, and, afterinquiring whether he had won any “alley tors” or “commoneys”
lately (both of which I understand to be a particular species ofmarbles much prized by the youth of this town), made use of thisremarkable expression, “How should you like to have anotherfather?” I shall prove to you, gentlemen, that about a year ago,Pickwick suddenly began to absent himself from home, duringlong intervals81, as if with the intention of gradually breaking offfrom my client; but I shall show you also, that his resolution wasnot at that time sufficiently82 strong, or that his better feelingsconquered, if better feelings he has, or that the charms andaccomplishments of my client prevailed against his unmanlyintentions, by proving to you, that on one occasion, when hereturned from the country, he distinctly and in terms, offered hermarriage: previously83, however, taking special care that therewould be no witness to their solemn contract; and I am in asituation to prove to you, on the testimony of three of his ownfriends―most unwilling84 witnesses, gentlemen―most unwillingwitnesses―that on that morning he was discovered by themholding the plaintiff in his arms, and soothing85 her agitation by hiscaresses and endearments86.’
A visible impression was produced upon the auditors87 by thispart of the learned Serjeant’s address. Drawing forth88 two verysmall scraps89 of paper, he proceeded―‘And now, gentlemen, butone word more. Two letters have passed between these parties,letters which are admitted to be in the handwriting of thedefendant, and which speak volumes, indeed. The letters, too,bespeak the character of the man. They are not open, fervent,eloquent epistles, breathing nothing but the language ofaffectionate attachment90. They are covert91, sly, underhandedcommunications, but, fortunately, far more conclusive92 than ifcouched in the most glowing language and the most poeticimagery―letters that must be viewed with a cautious andsuspicious eye―letters that were evidently intended at the time,by Pickwick, to mislead and delude93 any third parties into whosehands they might fall. Let me read the first: “Garraways, twelveo’clock. Dear Mrs. B.―Chops and tomato sauce. Yours,PICKWICK.” Gentlemen, what does this mean? Chops and tomatosauce. Yours, Pickwick! Chops! Gracious heavens! and tomatosauce! Gentlemen, is the happiness of a sensitive and confidingfemale to be trifled away, by such shallow artifices94 as these? Thenext has no date whatever, which is in itself suspicious. “DearMrs. B., I shall not be at home till to-morrow. Slow coach.” Andthen follows this very remarkable80 expression. “Don’t troubleyourself about the warming-pan.” The warming-pan! Why,gentlemen, who does trouble himself about a warming-pan? Whenwas the peace of mind of man or woman broken or disturbed by awarming-pan, which is in itself a harmless, a useful, and I will add,gentlemen, a comforting article of domestic furniture? Why is Mrs.
Bardell so earnestly entreated35 not to agitate95 herself about thiswarming-pan, unless (as is no doubt the case) it is a mere28 cover forhidden fire―a mere substitute for some endearing word orpromise, agreeably to a preconcerted system of correspondence,artfully contrived97 by Pickwick with a view to his contemplateddesertion, and which I am not in a condition to explain? And whatdoes this allusion98 to the slow coach mean? For aught I know, itmay be a reference to Pickwick himself, who has mostunquestionably been a criminally slow coach during the whole ofthis transaction, but whose speed will now be very unexpectedlyaccelerated, and whose wheels, gentlemen, as he will find to hiscost, will very soon be greased by you!’
Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz paused in this place, to see whether thejury smiled at his joke; but as nobody took it but the greengrocer,whose sensitiveness on the subject was very probably occasionedby his having subjected a chaise-cart to the process in question onthat identical morning, the learned Serjeant considered itadvisable to undergo a slight relapse into the dismals before heconcluded.
‘But enough of this, gentlemen,’ said Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz, ‘it isdifficult to smile with an aching heart; it is ill jesting when ourdeepest sympathies are awakened100. My client’s hopes andprospects are ruined, and it is no figure of speech to say that heroccupation is gone indeed. The bill is down―but there is notenant. Eligible101 single gentlemen pass and repass―but there is noinvitation for to inquire within or without. All is gloom and silencein the house; even the voice of the child is hushed; his infantsports are disregarded when his mother weeps; his “alley tors”
and his “commoneys” are alike neglected; he forgets the longfamiliar cry of “knuckle down,” and at tip-cheese, or odd and even,his hand is out. But Pickwick, gentlemen, Pickwick, the ruthlessdestroyer of this domestic oasis102 in the desert of Goswell Street―Pickwick who has choked up the well, and thrown ashes on thesward―Pickwick, who comes before you to-day with his heartlesstomato sauce and warming-pans―Pickwick still rears his headwith unblushing effrontery103, and gazes without a sigh on the ruinhe has made. Damages, gentlemen―heavy damages is the onlypunishment with which you can visit him; the only recompenseyou can award to my client. And for those damages she nowappeals to an enlightened, a high-minded, a right-feeling, aconscientious, a dispassionate, a sympathising, a contemplativejury of her civilised countrymen.’ With this beautiful peroration,Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz sat down, and Mr. Justice Stareleigh wokeup.
‘Call Elizabeth Cluppins,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz, rising a minuteafterwards, with renewed vigour104.
The nearest usher22 called for Elizabeth Tuppins; another one, ata little distance off, demanded Elizabeth Jupkins; and a thirdrushed in a breathless state into King Street, and screamed forElizabeth Muffins till he was hoarse105.
Meanwhile Mrs. Cluppins, with the combined assistance of Mrs.
Bardell, Mrs. Sanders, Mr. Dodson, and Mr. Fogg, was hoisted106 intothe witness-box; and when she was safely perched on the top step,Mrs. Bardell stood on the bottom one, with the pocket-handkerchief and pattens in one hand, and a glass bottle thatmight hold about a quarter of a pint107 of smelling-salts in the other,ready for any emergency. Mrs. Sanders, whose eyes were intentlyfixed on the judge’s face, planted herself close by, with the largeumbrella, keeping her right thumb pressed on the spring with anearnest countenance, as if she were fully96 prepared to put it up at amoment’s notice.
‘Mrs. Cluppins,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz, ‘pray compose yourself,ma’am.’ Of course, directly Mrs. Cluppins was desired to composeherself, she sobbed108 with increased vehemence109, and gave diversalarming manifestations110 of an approaching fainting fit, or, as sheafterwards said, of her feelings being too many for her.
‘Do you recollect31, Mrs. Cluppins,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz, after afew unimportant questions―‘do you recollect being in Mrs.
Bardell’s back one pair of stairs, on one particular morning in Julylast, when she was dusting Pickwick’s apartment?’
‘Yes, my Lord and jury, I do,’ replied Mrs. Cluppins.
‘Mr. Pickwick’s sitting-room111 was the first-floor front, I believe?’
‘Yes, it were, sir,’ replied Mrs. Cluppins.
‘What were you doing in the back room, ma’am?’ inquired thelittle judge.
‘My Lord and jury,’ said Mrs. Cluppins, with interestingagitation, ‘I will not deceive you.’
‘You had better not, ma’am,’ said the little judge.
‘I was there,’ resumed Mrs. Cluppins, ‘unbeknown to Mrs.
Bardell; I had been out with a little basket, gentlemen, to buythree pound of red kidney pertaties, which was three poundtuppence ha’penny, when I see Mrs. Bardell’s street door on thejar.’
‘On the what?’ exclaimed the little judge.
‘Partly open, my Lord,’ said Serjeant Snubbin.
‘She said on the jar,’ said the little judge, with a cunning look.
‘It’s all the same, my Lord,’ said Serjeant Snubbin. The littlejudge looked doubtful, and said he’d make a note of it. Mrs.
Cluppins then resumed―I walked in, gentlemen, just to say good-mornin’, and went, in apermiscuous manner, upstairs, and into the back room.
Gentlemen, there was the sound of voices in the front room, and―’
‘And you listened, I believe, Mrs. Cluppins?’ said SerjeantBuzfuz.
‘Beggin’ your pardon, sir,’ replied Mrs. Cluppins, in a majesticmanner, ‘I would scorn the haction. The voices was very loud, sir,and forced themselves upon my ear,’
‘Well, Mrs. Cluppins, you were not listening, but you heard thevoices. Was one of those voices Pickwick’s?’
‘Yes, it were, sir.’ And Mrs. Cluppins, after distinctly statingthat Mr. Pickwick addressed himself to Mrs. Bardell, repeated byslow degrees, and by dint112 of many questions, the conversationwith which our readers are already acquainted.
The jury looked suspicious, and Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz smiled ashe sat down. They looked positively113 awful when Serjeant Snubbinintimated that he should not cross-examine the witness, for Mr.
Pickwick wished it to be distinctly stated that it was due to her tosay, that her account was in substance correct.
Mrs. Cluppins having once broken the ice, thought it afavourable opportunity for entering into a short dissertation114 onher own domestic affairs; so she straightway proceeded to informthe court that she was the mother of eight children at that presentspeaking, and that she entertained confident expectations ofpresenting Mr. Cluppins with a ninth, somewhere about that daysix months. At this interesting point, the little judge interposedmost irascibly; and the effect of the interposition was, that boththe worthy115 lady and Mrs. Sanders were politely taken out of court,under the escort of Mr. Jackson, without further parley116.
‘Nathaniel Winkle!’ said Mr. Skimpin.
‘Here!’ replied a feeble voice. Mr. Winkle entered the witness-box, and having been duly sworn, bowed to the judge withconsiderable deference117.
‘Don’t look at me, sir,’ said the judge sharply, inacknowledgment of the salute118; ‘look at the jury.’
Mr. Winkle obeyed the mandate119, and looked at the place wherehe thought it most probable the jury might be; for seeing anythingin his then state of intellectual complication was wholly out of thequestion.
Mr. Winkle was then examined by Mr. Skimpin, who, being apromising young man of two or three-and-forty, was of courseanxious to confuse a witness who was notoriously predisposed infavour of the other side, as much as he could.
‘Now, sir,’ said Mr. Skimpin, ‘have the goodness to let hisLordship know what your name is, will you?’ and Mr. Skimpininclined his head on one side to listen with great sharpness to theanswer, and glanced at the jury meanwhile, as if to imply that herather expected Mr. Winkle’s natural taste for perjury120 wouldinduce him to give some name which did not belong to him.
‘Winkle,’ replied the witness.
‘What’s your Christian121 name, sir?’ angrily inquired the littlejudge.
‘Nathaniel, sir.’
‘Daniel―any other name?’
‘Nathaniel, sir―my Lord, I mean.’
‘Nathaniel Daniel, or Daniel Nathaniel?’
‘No, my Lord, only Nathaniel―not Daniel at all.’
‘What did you tell me it was Daniel for, then, sir?’ inquired thejudge.
‘I didn’t, my Lord,’ replied Mr. Winkle.
‘You did, sir,’ replied the judge, with a severe frown. ‘How couldI have got Daniel on my notes, unless you told me so, sir?’ Thisargument was, of course, unanswerable.
‘Mr. Winkle has rather a short memory, my Lord,’ interposedMr. Skimpin, with another glance at the jury. ‘We shall find meansto refresh it before we have quite done with him, I dare say.’
‘You had better be careful, sir,’ said the little judge, with asinister look at the witness.
Poor Mr. Winkle bowed, and endeavoured to feign122 an easinessof manner, which, in his then state of confusion, gave him ratherthe air of a disconcerted pickpocket123.
‘Now, Mr. Winkle,’ said Mr. Skimpin, ‘attend to me, if youplease, sir; and let me recommend you, for your own sake, to bearin mind his Lordship’s injunctions to be careful. I believe you are aparticular friend of Mr. Pickwick, the defendant, are you not?’
‘I have known Mr. Pickwick now, as well as I recollect at thismoment, nearly―’
‘Pray, Mr. Winkle, do not evade124 the question. Are you, or areyou not, a particular friend of the defendant’s?’
‘I was just about to say, that―’
‘Will you, or will you not, answer my question, sir?’
‘If you don’t answer the question, you’ll be committed, sir,’
interposed the little judge, looking over his note-book.
‘Come, sir,’ said Mr. Skimpin, ‘yes or no, if you please.’
‘Yes, I am,’ replied Mr. Winkle.
‘Yes, you are. And why couldn’t you say that at once, sir?
Perhaps you know the plaintiff too? Eh, Mr. Winkle?’
‘I don’t know her; I’ve seen her.’
‘Oh, you don’t know her, but you’ve seen her? Now, have thegoodness to tell the gentlemen of the jury what you mean by that,Mr. Winkle.’
‘I mean that I am not intimate with her, but I have seen herwhen I went to call on Mr. Pickwick, in Goswell Street.’
‘How often have you seen her, sir?’
‘How often?’
‘Yes, Mr. Winkle, how often? I’ll repeat the question for you adozen times, if you require it, sir.’ And the learned gentleman,with a firm and steady frown, placed his hands on his hips125, andsmiled suspiciously to the jury.
On this question there arose the edifying126 brow-beating,customary on such points. First of all, Mr. Winkle said it was quiteimpossible for him to say how many times he had seen Mrs.
Bardell. Then he was asked if he had seen her twenty times, towhich he replied, ‘Certainly―more than that.’ Then he was askedwhether he hadn’t seen her a hundred times―whether he couldn’tswear that he had seen her more than fifty times―whether hedidn’t know that he had seen her at least seventy-five times, andso forth; the satisfactory conclusion which was arrived at, at last,being, that he had better take care of himself, and mind what hewas about. The witness having been by these means reduced tothe requisite127 ebb128 of nervous perplexity, the examination wascontinued as follows―‘Pray, Mr. Winkle, do you remember calling on the defendantPickwick at these apartments in the plaintiff’s house in GoswellStreet, on one particular morning, in the month of July last?’
‘Yes, I do.’
‘Were you accompanied on that occasion by a friend of thename of Tupman, and another by the name of Snodgrass?’
‘Yes, I was.’
‘Are they here?’
‘Yes, they are,’ replied Mr. Winkle, looking very earnestlytowards the spot where his friends were stationed.
‘Pray attend to me, Mr. Winkle, and never mind your friends,’
said Mr. Skimpin, with another expressive129 look at the jury. ‘Theymust tell their stories without any previous consultation130 with you,if none has yet taken place (another look at the jury). Now, sir, tellthe gentlemen of the jury what you saw on entering thedefendant’s room, on this particular morning. Come; out with it,sir; we must have it, sooner or later.’
‘The defendant, Mr. Pickwick, was holding the plaintiff in hisarms, with his hands clasping her waist,’ replied Mr. Winkle withnatural hesitation131, ‘and the plaintiff appeared to have faintedaway.’
‘Did you hear the defendant say anything?’
‘I heard him call Mrs. Bardell a good creature, and I heard himask her to compose herself, for what a situation it was, if anybodyshould come, or words to that effect.’
‘Now, Mr. Winkle, I have only one more question to ask you,and I beg you to bear in mind his Lordship’s caution. Will youundertake to swear that Pickwick, the defendant, did not say onthe occasion in question―“My dear Mrs. Bardell, you’re a goodcreature; compose yourself to this situation, for to this situationyou must come,” or words to that effect?’
‘I―I didn’t understand him so, certainly,’ said Mr. Winkle,astounded on this ingenious dove-tailing of the few words he hadheard. ‘I was on the staircase, and couldn’t hear distinctly; theimpression on my mind is―’
‘The gentlemen of the jury want none of the impressions onyour mind, Mr. Winkle, which I fear would be of little service tohonest, straightforward132 men,’ interposed Mr. Skimpin. ‘You wereon the staircase, and didn’t distinctly hear; but you will not swearthat Pickwick did not make use of the expressions I have quoted?
Do I understand that?’
‘No, I will not,’ replied Mr. Winkle; and down sat Mr. Skimpinwith a triumphant133 countenance.
Mr. Pickwick’s case had not gone off in so particularly happy amanner, up to this point, that it could very well afford to have anyadditional suspicion cast upon it. But as it could afford to beplaced in a rather better light, if possible, Mr. Phunky rose for thepurpose of getting something important out of Mr. Winkle incross-examination. Whether he did get anything important out ofhim, will immediately appear.
‘I believe, Mr. Winkle,’ said Mr. Phunky, ‘that Mr. Pickwick isnot a young man?’
‘Oh, no,’ replied Mr. Winkle; ‘old enough to be my father.’
‘You have told my learned friend that you have known Mr.
Pickwick a long time. Had you ever any reason to suppose orbelieve that he was about to be married?’
‘Oh, no; certainly not;’ replied Mr. Winkle with so mucheagerness, that Mr. Phunky ought to have got him out of the boxwith all possible dispatch. Lawyers hold that there are two kindsof particularly bad witnesses―a reluctant witness, and a too-willing witness; it was Mr. Winkle’s fate to figure in bothcharacters.
‘I will even go further than this, Mr. Winkle,’ continued Mr.
Phunky, in a most smooth and complacent134 manner. ‘Did you eversee anything in Mr. Pickwick’s manner and conduct towards theopposite sex, to induce you to believe that he ever contemplatedmatrimony of late years, in any case?’
‘Oh, no; certainly not,’ replied Mr. Winkle.
‘Has his behaviour, when females have been in the case, alwaysbeen that of a man, who, having attained135 a pretty advanced periodof life, content with his own occupations and amusements, treatsthem only as a father might his daughters?’
‘Not the least doubt of it,’ replied Mr. Winkle, in the fulness ofhis heart. ‘That is―yes―oh, yes―certainly.’
‘You have never known anything in his behaviour towards Mrs.
Bardell, or any other female, in the least degree suspicious?’ saidMr. Phunky, preparing to sit down; for Serjeant Snubbin waswinking at him.
‘N-n-no,’ replied Mr. Winkle, ‘except on one trifling136 occasion,which, I have no doubt, might be easily explained.’
Now, if the unfortunate Mr. Phunky had sat down whenSerjeant Snubbin had winked137 at him, or if Serjeant Buzfuz hadstopped this irregular cross-examination at the outset (which heknew better than to do; observing Mr. Winkle’s anxiety, and wellknowing it would, in all probability, lead to something serviceableto him), this unfortunate admission would not have been elicited138.
The moment the words fell from Mr. Winkle’s lips, Mr. Phunky satdown, and Serjeant Snubbin rather hastily told him he mightleave the box, which Mr. Winkle prepared to do with greatreadiness, when Serjeant Buzfuz stopped him.
‘Stay, Mr. Winkle, stay!’ said Serjeant Buzfuz, ‘will yourLordship have the goodness to ask him, what this one instance ofsuspicious behaviour towards females on the part of thisgentleman, who is old enough to be his father, was?’
‘You hear what the learned counsel says, sir,’ observed thejudge, turning to the miserable139 and agonised Mr. Winkle.
‘Describe the occasion to which you refer.’
‘My Lord,’ said Mr. Winkle, trembling with anxiety, ‘I―I’drather not.’
‘Perhaps so,’ said the little judge; ‘but you must.’
Amid the profound silence of the whole court, Mr. Winklefaltered out, that the trifling circumstance of suspicion was Mr.
Pickwick’s being found in a lady’s sleeping-apartment at midnight;which had terminated, he believed, in the breaking off of theprojected marriage of the lady in question, and had led, he knew,to the whole party being forcibly carried before George Nupkins,Esq., magistrate140 and justice of the peace, for the borough141 ofIpswich!
‘You may leave the box, sir,’ said Serjeant Snubbin. Mr. Winkledid leave the box, and rushed with delirious142 haste to the Georgeand Vulture, where he was discovered some hours after, by thewaiter, groaning143 in a hollow and dismal99 manner, with his headburied beneath the sofa cushions.
Tracy Tupman, and Augustus Snodgrass, were severally calledinto the box; both corroborated144 the testimony of their unhappyfriend; and each was driven to the verge74 of desperation byexcessive badgering.
Susannah Sanders was then called, and examined by SerjeantBuzfuz, and cross-examined by Serjeant Snubbin. Had alwayssaid and believed that Pickwick would marry Mrs. Bardell; knewthat Mrs. Bardell’s being engaged to Pickwick was the currenttopic of conversation in the neighbourhood, after the fainting inJuly; had been told it herself by Mrs. Mudberry which kept amangle, and Mrs. Bunkin which clear-starched, but did not seeeither Mrs. Mudberry or Mrs. Bunkin in court. Had heardPickwick ask the little boy how he should like to have anotherfather. Did not know that Mrs. Bardell was at that time keepingcompany with the baker145, but did know that the baker was then asingle man and is now married. Couldn’t swear that Mrs. Bardellwas not very fond of the baker, but should think that the bakerwas not very fond of Mrs. Bardell, or he wouldn’t have marriedsomebody else. Thought Mrs. Bardell fainted away on the morningin July, because Pickwick asked her to name the day: knew thatshe (witness) fainted away stone dead when Mr. Sanders asked herto name the day, and believed that everybody as called herself alady would do the same, under similar circumstances. HeardPickwick ask the boy the question about the marbles, but uponher oath did not know the difference between an ‘alley tor’ and a‘commoney.’
By the Court.―During the period of her keeping company withMr. Sanders, had received love letters, like other ladies. In thecourse of their correspondence Mr. Sanders had often called her a‘duck,’ but never ‘chops,’ nor yet ‘tomato sauce.’ He wasparticularly fond of ducks. Perhaps if he had been as fond of chopsand tomato sauce, he might have called her that, as a term ofaffection.
Serjeant Buzfuz now rose with more importance than he hadyet exhibited, if that were possible, and vociferated; ‘Call SamuelWeller.’
It was quite unnecessary to call Samuel Weller; for SamuelWeller stepped briskly into the box the instant his name waspronounced; and placing his hat on the floor, and his arms on therail, took a bird’s-eye view of the Bar, and a comprehensive surveyof the Bench, with a remarkably146 cheerful and lively aspect. ‘What’syour name, sir?’ inquired the judge.
‘Sam Weller, my Lord,’ replied that gentleman.
‘Do you spell it with a “V” or a “W”?’ inquired the judge.
‘That depends upon the taste and fancy of the speller, my Lord,’
replied Sam; ‘I never had occasion to spell it more than once ortwice in my life, but I spells it with a “V.” ‘Here a voice in the gallery exclaimed aloud, ‘Quite right too,Samivel, quite right. Put it down a “we,” my Lord, put it down a“we.”’
‘Who is that, who dares address the court?’ said the little judge,looking up. ‘Usher.’
‘Yes, my Lord.’
‘Bring that person here instantly.’
‘Yes, my Lord.’
But as the usher didn’t find the person, he didn’t bring him;and, after a great commotion147, all the people who had got up to lookfor the culprit, sat down again. The little judge turned to thewitness as soon as his indignation would allow him to speak, andsaid―‘Do you know who that was, sir?’
‘I rayther suspect it was my father, my lord,’ replied Sam.
‘Do you see him here now?’ said the judge.
‘No, I don’t, my Lord,’ replied Sam, staring right up into thelantern at the roof of the court.
‘If you could have pointed148 him out, I would have committed himinstantly,’ said the judge. Sam bowed his acknowledgments andturned, with unimpaired cheerfulness of countenance, towardsSerjeant Buzfuz.
‘Now, Mr. Weller,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz.
‘Now, sir,’ replied Sam.
‘I believe you are in the service of Mr. Pickwick, the defendantin this case? Speak up, if you please, Mr. Weller.’
‘I mean to speak up, sir,’ replied Sam; ‘I am in the service o’
that ’ere gen’l’man, and a wery good service it is.’
‘Little to do, and plenty to get, I suppose?’ said Serjeant Buzfuz,with jocularity. ‘Oh, quite enough to get, sir, as the soldier said venthey ordered him three hundred and fifty lashes,’ replied Sam.
‘You must not tell us what the soldier, or any other man, said,sir,’ interposed the judge; ‘it’s not evidence.’
‘Wery good, my Lord,’ replied Sam.
‘Do you recollect anything particular happening on themorning when you were first engaged by the defendant; eh, Mr.
Weller?’ said Serjeant Buzfuz.
‘Yes, I do, sir,’ replied Sam.
‘Have the goodness to tell the jury what it was.’
‘I had a reg’lar new fit out o’ clothes that mornin’, gen’l’men ofthe jury,’ said Sam, ‘and that was a wery partickler anduncommon circumstance vith me in those days.’
Hereupon there was a general laugh; and the little judge,looking with an angry countenance over his desk, said, ‘You hadbetter be careful, sir.’
‘So Mr. Pickwick said at the time, my Lord,’ replied Sam; ‘and Iwas wery careful o’ that ’ere suit o’ clothes; wery careful indeed,my Lord.’
The judge looked sternly at Sam for full two minutes, but Sam’sfeatures were so perfectly calm and serene149 that the judge saidnothing, and motioned Serjeant Buzfuz to proceed.
‘Do you mean to tell me, Mr. Weller,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz,folding his arms emphatically, and turning half-round to the jury,as if in mute assurance that he would bother the witness yet―‘doyou mean to tell me, Mr. Weller, that you saw nothing of thisfainting on the part of the plaintiff in the arms of the defendant,which you have heard described by the witnesses?’
‘Certainly not,’ replied Sam; ‘I was in the passage till they calledme up, and then the old lady was not there.’
‘Now, attend, Mr. Weller,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz, dipping a largepen into the inkstand before him, for the purpose of frighteningSam with a show of taking down his answer. ‘You were in thepassage, and yet saw nothing of what was going forward. Have youa pair of eyes, Mr. Weller?’
‘Yes, I have a pair of eyes,’ replied Sam, ‘and that’s just it. Ifthey wos a pair o’ patent double million magnifyin’ gasmicroscopes of hextra power, p’raps I might be able to see througha flight o’ stairs and a deal door; but bein’ only eyes, you see, mywision’s limited.’
At this answer, which was delivered without the slightestappearance of irritation151, and with the most complete simplicityand equanimity152 of manner, the spectators tittered, the little judgesmiled, and Serjeant Buzfuz looked particularly foolish. After ashort consultation with Dodson & Fogg, the learned Serjeantagain turned towards Sam, and said, with a painful effort toconceal his vexation, ‘Now, Mr. Weller, I’ll ask you a question onanother point, if you please.’
‘If you please, sir,’ rejoined Sam, with the utmost good-humour.
‘Do you remember going up to Mrs. Bardell’s house, one nightin November last?’
‘Oh, yes, wery well.’
‘Oh, you do remember that, Mr. Weller,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz,recovering his spirits; ‘I thought we should get at something atlast.’
‘I rayther thought that, too, sir,’ replied Sam; and at this thespectators tittered again.
‘Well; I suppose you went up to have a little talk about thistrial―eh, Mr. Weller?’ said Serjeant Buzfuz, looking knowingly atthe jury.
‘I went up to pay the rent; but we did get a-talkin’ about thetrial,’ replied Sam.
‘Oh, you did get a-talking about the trial,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz,brightening up with the anticipation153 of some important discovery.
‘Now, what passed about the trial; will you have the goodness totell us, Mr. Weller’?’
‘Vith all the pleasure in life, sir,’ replied Sam. ‘Arter a fewunimportant obserwations from the two wirtuous females as hasbeen examined here to-day, the ladies gets into a very great stateo’ admiration at the honourable154 conduct of Mr. Dodson andFogg―them two gen’l’men as is settin’ near you now.’ This, ofcourse, drew general attention to Dodson & Fogg, who looked asvirtuous as possible.
‘The attorneys for the plaintiff,’ said Mr. Serjeant Buzfuz. ‘Well!
They spoke in high praise of the honourable conduct of Messrs.
Dodson and Fogg, the attorneys for the plaintiff, did they?’
‘Yes,’ said Sam, ‘they said what a wery gen’rous thing it was o’
them to have taken up the case on spec, and to charge nothing atall for costs, unless they got ’em out of Mr. Pickwick.’
At this very unexpected reply, the spectators tittered again, andDodson & Fogg, turning very red, leaned over to Serjeant Buzfuz,and in a hurried manner whispered something in his ear.
‘You are quite right,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz aloud, with affectedcomposure. ‘It’s perfectly useless, my Lord, attempting to get atany evidence through the impenetrable stupidity of this witness. Iwill not trouble the court by asking him any more questions. Standdown, sir.’
‘Would any other gen’l’man like to ask me anythin’?’ inquiredSam, taking up his hat, and looking round most deliberately155.
‘Not I, Mr. Weller, thank you,’ said Serjeant Snubbin, laughing.
‘You may go down, sir,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz, waving his handimpatiently. Sam went down accordingly, after doing Messrs.
Dodson & Fogg’s case as much harm as he conveniently could,and saying just as little respecting Mr. Pickwick as might be,which was precisely the object he had had in view all along.
‘I have no objection to admit, my Lord,’ said Serjeant Snubbin,‘if it will save the examination of another witness, that Mr.
Pickwick has retired from business, and is a gentleman ofconsiderable independent property.’
‘Very well,’ said Serjeant Buzfuz, putting in the two letters to beread, ‘then that’s my case, my Lord.’
Serjeant Snubbin then addressed the jury on behalf of thedefendant; and a very long and a very emphatic150 address hedelivered, in which he bestowed156 the highest possible eulogiums onthe conduct and character of Mr. Pickwick; but inasmuch as ourreaders are far better able to form a correct estimate of thatgentleman’s merits and deserts, than Serjeant Snubbin couldpossibly be, we do not feel called upon to enter at any length intothe learned gentleman’s observations. He attempted to show thatthe letters which had been exhibited, merely related to Mr.
Pickwick’s dinner, or to the preparations for receiving him in hisapartments on his return from some country excursion. It issufficient to add in general terms, that he did the best he could forMr. Pickwick; and the best, as everybody knows, on the infallibleauthority of the old adage157, could do no more.
Mr. Justice Stareleigh summed up, in the old-established andmost approved form. He read as much of his notes to the jury as hecould decipher on so short a notice, and made running-commentson the evidence as he went along. If Mrs. Bardell were right, it wasperfectly clear that Mr. Pickwick was wrong, and if they thoughtthe evidence of Mrs. Cluppins worthy of credence158 they wouldbelieve it, and, if they didn’t, why, they wouldn’t. If they weresatisfied that a breach of promise of marriage had been committedthey would find for the plaintiff with such damages as theythought proper; and if, on the other hand, it appeared to them thatno promise of marriage had ever been given, they would find forthe defendant with no damages at all. The jury then retired totheir private room to talk the matter over, and the judge retired tohis private room, to refresh himself with a mutton chop and a glassof sherry. An anxious quarter of a hour elapsed; the jury cameback; the judge was fetched in. Mr. Pickwick put on his spectacles,and gazed at the foreman with an agitated159 countenance and aquickly-beating heart.
‘Gentlemen,’ said the individual in black, ‘are you all agreedupon your verdict?’
‘We are,’ replied the foreman.
‘Do you find for the plaintiff, gentlemen, or for the defendant?’
‘For the plaintiff.’
‘With what damages, gentlemen?’
‘Seven hundred and fifty pounds.’
Mr. Pickwick took off his spectacles, carefully wiped the glasses,folded them into their case, and put them in his pocket; then,having drawn160 on his gloves with great nicety, and stared at theforeman all the while, he mechanically followed Mr. Perker andthe blue bag out of court.
They stopped in a side room while Perker paid the court fees;and here, Mr. Pickwick was joined by his friends. Here, too, heencountered Messrs. Dodson & Fogg, rubbing their hands withevery token of outward satisfaction.
‘Well, gentlemen,’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Well, sir,’ said Dodson, for self and partner.
‘You imagine you’ll get your costs, don’t you, gentlemen?’ saidMr. Pickwick.
Fogg said they thought it rather probable. Dodson smiled, andsaid they’d try.
‘You may try, and try, and try again, Messrs. Dodson and Fogg,’
said Mr. Pickwick vehemently,’ but not one farthing of costs ordamages do you ever get from me, if I spend the rest of myexistence in a debtor’s prison.’
‘Ha! ha!’ laughed Dodson. ‘You’ll think better of that, beforenext term, Mr. Pickwick.’
‘He, he, he! We’ll soon see about that, Mr. Pickwick,’ grinnedFogg.
Speechless with indignation, Mr. Pickwick allowed himself tobe led by his solicitor161 and friends to the door, and there assistedinto a hackney-coach, which had been fetched for the purpose, bythe ever-watchful Sam Weller.
Sam had put up the steps, and was preparing to jump upon thebox, when he felt himself gently touched on the shoulder; and,looking round, his father stood before him. The old gentleman’scountenance wore a mournful expression, as he shook his headgravely, and said, in warning accents―‘I know’d what ’ud come o’ this here mode o’ doin’ bisness. Oh,Sammy, Sammy, vy worn’t there a alleybi!’
收听单词发音 |
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devoted
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| adj.忠诚的，忠实的，热心的，献身于...的 | |
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contented
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| adj.满意的，安心的，知足的 | |
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retired
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| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
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defendant
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| n.被告；adj.处于被告地位的 | |
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breach
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| n.违反，不履行；破裂；vt.冲破，攻破 | |
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procured
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| v.（努力）取得， （设法）获得( procure的过去式和过去分词 )；拉皮条 | |
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brass
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| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
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agitation
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| n.搅动；搅拌；鼓动，煽动 | |
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muster
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| v.集合，收集，鼓起，激起；n.集合，检阅，集合人员，点名册 | |
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wig
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| n.假发 | |
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celebrated
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| adj.有名的，声誉卓著的 | |
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conspicuous
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| adj.明眼的，惹人注目的；炫耀的，摆阔气的 | |
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technically
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| adv.专门地，技术上地 | |
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calf
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| n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮 | |
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awaken
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| vi.醒，觉醒；vt.唤醒，使觉醒，唤起，激起 | |
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thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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crimson
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| n./adj.深(绯)红色(的)；vi.脸变绯红色 | |
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underneath
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| adj.在...下面，在...底下；adv.在下面 | |
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ushers
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| n.引座员( usher的名词复数 )；招待员；门房；助理教员v.引，领，陪同( usher的第三人称单数 ) | |
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usher
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| n.带位员，招待员；vt.引导，护送；vi.做招待，担任引座员 | |
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remonstrance
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| n抗议，抱怨 | |
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bawling
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| v.大叫，大喊( bawl的现在分词 )；放声大哭；大声叫出；叫卖（货物） | |
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brooked
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| 容忍，忍受（brook的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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peremptorily
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| adv.紧急地，不容分说地，专横地 | |
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testy
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| adj.易怒的；暴躁的 | |
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mere
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| adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过 | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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melancholy
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| n.忧郁，愁思；adj.令人感伤（沮丧）的，忧郁的 | |
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recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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recollecting
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| v.记起，想起( recollect的现在分词 ) | |
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33
frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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34
entreat
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| v.恳求，恳请 | |
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entreated
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| 恳求，乞求( entreat的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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36
affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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37
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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38
commiseration
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| n.怜悯，同情 | |
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39
opposition
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| n.反对，敌对 | |
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40
misgivings
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕；疑虑，担心，恐惧( misgiving的名词复数 )；疑惧 | |
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41
prelude
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| n.序言，前兆，序曲 | |
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42
lapse
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| n.过失，流逝，失效，抛弃信仰，间隔；vi.堕落，停止，失效，流逝；vt.使失效 | |
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43
precisely
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| adv.恰好，正好，精确地，细致地 | |
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44
majesty
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| n.雄伟，壮丽，庄严，威严；最高权威，王权 | |
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45
proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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46
briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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47
buoyed
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| v.使浮起( buoy的过去式和过去分词 )；支持；为…设浮标；振奋…的精神 | |
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48
detailed
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| adj.详细的，详尽的，极注意细节的，完全的 | |
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49
unimpeachable
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| adj.无可指责的；adv.无可怀疑地 | |
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50
smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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51
mighty
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| adj.强有力的；巨大的 | |
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52
defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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53
guardians
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| 监护人( guardian的名词复数 )； 保护者，维护者 | |
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54
glided
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| v.滑动( glide的过去式和过去分词 )；掠过；（鸟或飞机 ） 滑翔 | |
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55
repose
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| v.(使)休息；n.安息 | |
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56
faltered
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| （嗓音）颤抖( falter的过去式和过去分词 )； 支吾其词； 蹒跚； 摇晃 | |
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57
likeness
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| n.相像，相似（之处） | |
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58
tranquillity
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| n. 平静, 安静 | |
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59
consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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60
lodgings
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| n. 出租的房舍, 寄宿舍 | |
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61
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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62
maternal
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| adj.母亲的，母亲般的，母系的，母方的 | |
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63
bosom
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| n.胸，胸部；胸怀；内心；adj.亲密的 | |
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64
erect
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| n./v.树立，建立，使竖立；adj.直立的，垂直的 | |
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65
semblance
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| n.外貌，外表 | |
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66
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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67
systematic
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| adj.有系统的，有计划的，有方法的 | |
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68
writhing
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| （因极度痛苦而）扭动或翻滚( writhe的现在分词 ) | |
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69
judgment
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| n.审判；判断力，识别力，看法，意见 | |
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70
dissent
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| n./v.不同意，持异议 | |
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71
intimidated
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| v.恐吓；威胁adj.害怕的；受到威胁的 | |
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72
recoil
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| vi.退却，退缩，畏缩 | |
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73
divergence
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| n.分歧，岔开 | |
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74
verge
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| n.边，边缘；v.接近，濒临 | |
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75
partially
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| adv.部分地，从某些方面讲 | |
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76
lashed
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| adj.具睫毛的v.鞭打( lash的过去式和过去分词 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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77
linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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78
testimony
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| n.证词；见证，证明 | |
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79
controvert
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| v.否定；否认 | |
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80
remarkable
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| adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的 | |
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81
intervals
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| n.[军事]间隔( interval的名词复数 )；间隔时间；[数学]区间；（戏剧、电影或音乐会的）幕间休息 | |
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82
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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83
previously
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| adv.以前，先前（地） | |
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84
unwilling
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| adj.不情愿的 | |
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85
soothing
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| adj.慰藉的；使人宽心的；镇静的 | |
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86
endearments
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| n.表示爱慕的话语，亲热的表示( endearment的名词复数 ) | |
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87
auditors
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| n.审计员，稽核员( auditor的名词复数 )；（大学课程的）旁听生 | |
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88
forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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89
scraps
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| 油渣 | |
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90
attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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91
covert
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| adj.隐藏的；暗地里的 | |
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92
conclusive
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| adj.最后的，结论的；确凿的，消除怀疑的 | |
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93
delude
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| vt.欺骗；哄骗 | |
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94
artifices
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| n.灵巧( artifice的名词复数 )；诡计；巧妙办法；虚伪行为 | |
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95
agitate
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| vi.(for,against)煽动，鼓动；vt.搅动 | |
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96
fully
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| adv.完全地，全部地，彻底地；充分地 | |
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97
contrived
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| adj.不自然的，做作的；虚构的 | |
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98
allusion
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| n.暗示，间接提示 | |
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99
dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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100
awakened
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| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
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101
eligible
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| adj.有条件被选中的；(尤指婚姻等)合适(意)的 | |
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102
oasis
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| n.（沙漠中的）绿洲，宜人的地方 | |
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103
effrontery
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| n.厚颜无耻 | |
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104
vigour
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| （=vigor）n.智力，体力，精力 | |
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105
hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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106
hoisted
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| 把…吊起，升起( hoist的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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107
pint
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| n.品脱 | |
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108
sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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109
vehemence
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| n.热切；激烈；愤怒 | |
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110
manifestations
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| n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式） | |
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111
sitting-room
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| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
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112
dint
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| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
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113
positively
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| adv.明确地，断然，坚决地；实在，确实 | |
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114
dissertation
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| n.（博士学位）论文，学术演讲，专题论文 | |
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115
worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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116
parley
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| n.谈判 | |
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117
deference
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| n.尊重，顺从；敬意 | |
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118
salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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119
mandate
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| n.托管地；命令，指示 | |
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120
perjury
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| n.伪证；伪证罪 | |
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121
Christian
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| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
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122
feign
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| vt.假装，佯作 | |
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123
pickpocket
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| n.扒手；v.扒窃 | |
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124
evade
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| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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125
hips
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| abbr.high impact polystyrene 高冲击强度聚苯乙烯，耐冲性聚苯乙烯n.臀部( hip的名词复数 )；[建筑学]屋脊；臀围（尺寸）；臀部…的 | |
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126
edifying
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| adj.有教训意味的，教训性的，有益的v.开导，启发( edify的现在分词 ) | |
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127
requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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128
ebb
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| vi.衰退，减退；n.处于低潮，处于衰退状态 | |
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129
expressive
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| adj.表现的，表达…的，富于表情的 | |
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130
consultation
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| n.咨询；商量；商议；会议 | |
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131
hesitation
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| n.犹豫，踌躇 | |
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132
straightforward
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| adj.正直的，坦率的；易懂的，简单的 | |
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133
triumphant
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| adj.胜利的，成功的；狂欢的，喜悦的 | |
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134
complacent
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| adj.自满的；自鸣得意的 | |
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135
attained
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| （通常经过努力）实现( attain的过去式和过去分词 )； 达到； 获得； 达到（某年龄、水平、状况） | |
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136
trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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137
winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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138
elicited
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| 引出，探出( elicit的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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139
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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140
magistrate
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| n.地方行政官，地方法官，治安官 | |
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141
borough
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| n.享有自治权的市镇；(英)自治市镇 | |
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142
delirious
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| adj.不省人事的，神智昏迷的 | |
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143
groaning
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| adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式 | |
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144
corroborated
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| v.证实，支持（某种说法、信仰、理论等）( corroborate的过去式 ) | |
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145
baker
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| n.面包师 | |
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146
remarkably
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| ad.不同寻常地，相当地 | |
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147
commotion
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| n.骚动，动乱 | |
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148
pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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149
serene
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| adj. 安详的，宁静的，平静的 | |
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150
emphatic
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| adj.强调的，着重的；无可置疑的，明显的 | |
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151
irritation
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| n.激怒，恼怒，生气 | |
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152
equanimity
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| n.沉着，镇定 | |
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153
anticipation
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| n.预期，预料，期望 | |
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154
honourable
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| adj.可敬的；荣誉的，光荣的 | |
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155
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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156
bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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157
adage
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| n.格言，古训 | |
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158
credence
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| n.信用，祭器台，供桌，凭证 | |
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159
agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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160
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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161
solicitor
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| n.初级律师，事务律师 | |
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