DESCRIPTIVE OF AN AFFECTING INTERVIEWBETWEEN Mr. SAMUEL WELLER AND AFAMILY PARTY. Mr. PICKWICK MAKES ATOUR OF THE DIMINUTIVE1 WORLD HEINHABITS, AND RESOLVES TO MIX WITH IT,IN FUTURE, AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLEfew mornings after his incarceration2, Mr. Samuel Weller,having arranged his master’s room with all possible care,and seen him comfortably seated over his books andpapers, withdrew to employ himself for an hour or two to come, ashe best could. It was a fine morning, and it occurred to Sam that apint of porter in the open air would lighten his next quarter of anhour or so, as well as any little amusement in which he couldindulge.
Having arrived at this conclusion, he betook himself to the tap.
Having purchased the beer, and obtained, moreover, the day-but-one-before-yesterday’s paper, he repaired to the skittle-ground,and seating himself on a bench, proceeded to enjoy himself in avery sedate3 and methodical manner.
First of all, he took a refreshing4 draught5 of the beer, and thenhe looked up at a window, and bestowed6 a platonic7 wink8 on ayoung lady who was peeling potatoes thereat. Then he opened thepaper, and folded it so as to get the police reports outwards9; andthis being a vexatious and difficult thing to do, when there is anywind stirring, he took another draught of the beer when he hadaccomplished it. Then, he read two lines of the paper, and stoppedshort to look at a couple of men who were finishing a game atrackets, which, being concluded, he cried out ‘wery good,’ in anapproving manner, and looked round upon the spectators, toascertain whether their sentiments coincided with his own. Thisinvolved the necessity of looking up at the windows also; and asthe young lady was still there, it was an act of common politenessto wink again, and to drink to her good health in dumb show, inanother draught of the beer, which Sam did; and having frownedhideously upon a small boy who had noted11 this latter proceedingwith open eyes, he threw one leg over the other, and, holding thenewspaper in both hands, began to read in real earnest.
He had hardly composed himself into the needful state ofabstraction, when he thought he heard his own name proclaimedin some distant passage. Nor was he mistaken, for it quicklypassed from mouth to mouth, and in a few seconds the air teemedwith shouts of ‘Weller!’
‘Here!’ roared Sam, in a stentorian12 voice. ‘Wot’s the matter?
Who wants him? Has an express come to say that his countryhouse is afire?’
‘Somebody wants you in the hall,’ said a man who was standingby.
‘Just mind that ’ere paper and the pot, old feller, will you?’ saidSam. ‘I’m a-comin’. Blessed, if they was a-callin’ me to the bar,they couldn’t make more noise about it!’
Accompanying these words with a gentle rap on the head of theyoung gentleman before noticed, who, unconscious of his closevicinity to the person in request, was screaming ‘Weller!’ with allhis might, Sam hastened across the ground, and ran up the stepsinto the hall. Here, the first object that met his eyes was hisbeloved father sitting on a bottom stair, with his hat in his hand,shouting out ‘Weller!’ in his very loudest tone, at half-minuteintervals.
‘Wot are you a-roarin’ at?’ said Sam impetuously, when the oldgentleman had discharged himself of another shout; ‘makingyourself so precious hot that you looks like a aggrawated glass-blower. Wot’s the matter?’
‘Aha!’ replied the old gentleman, ‘I began to be afeerd thatyou’d gone for a walk round the Regency Park, Sammy.’
‘Come,’ said Sam, ‘none o’ them taunts13 agin the wictim o’
avarice, and come off that ’ere step. Wot arc you a-settin’ downthere for? I don’t live there.’
‘I’ve got such a game for you, Sammy,’ said the elder Mr.
Weller, rising.
‘Stop a minit,’ said Sam, ‘you’re all vite behind.’
‘That’s right, Sammy, rub it off,’ said Mr. Weller, as his sondusted him. ‘It might look personal here, if a man walked aboutwith vitevash on his clothes, eh, Sammy?’
As Mr. Weller exhibited in this place unequivocal symptoms ofan approaching fit of chuckling14, Sam interposed to stop it.
‘Keep quiet, do,’ said Sam, ‘there never vos such a old picter-card born. Wot are you bustin’ vith, now?’
‘Sammy,’ said Mr. Weller, wiping his forehead, ‘I’m afeerd thatvun o’ these days I shall laugh myself into a appleplexy, my boy.’
‘Vell, then, wot do you do it for?’ said Sam. ‘Now, then, wothave you got to say?’
‘Who do you think’s come here with me, Samivel?’ said Mr.
Weller, drawing back a pace or two, pursing up his mouth, andextending his eyebrows15. ‘Pell?’ said Sam.
Mr. Weller shook his head, and his red cheeks expanded withthe laughter that was endeavouring to find a vent16.
‘Mottled-faced man, p’raps?’ asked Sam.
Again Mr. Weller shook his head.
‘Who then?’ asked Sam.
‘Your mother-in-law,’ said Mr. Weller; and it was lucky he didsay it, or his cheeks must inevitably17 have cracked, from their mostunnatural distension18.
‘Your mother―in―law, Sammy,’ said Mr. Weller, ‘and the red-nosed man, my boy; and the red-nosed man. Ho! ho! ho!’
With this, Mr. Weller launched into convulsions of laughter,while Sam regarded him with a broad grin gradually over-spreading his whole countenance19.
‘They’ve come to have a little serious talk with you, Samivel,’
said Mr. Weller, wiping his eyes. ‘Don’t let out nothin’ about theunnat’ral creditor20, Sammy.’
‘Wot, don’t they know who it is?’ inquired Sam.
‘Not a bit on it,’ replied his father.
‘Vere are they?’ said Sam, reciprocating21 all the old gentleman’sgrins.
‘In the snuggery,’ rejoined Mr. Weller. ‘Catch the red-nosedman a-goin’ anyvere but vere the liquors is; not he, Samivel, nothe. Ve’d a wery pleasant ride along the road from the Markis thismornin’, Sammy,’ said Mr. Weller, when he felt himself equal tothe task of speaking in an articulate manner. ‘I drove the oldpiebald in that ’ere little shay-cart as belonged to your mother-in-law’s first wenter, into vich a harm-cheer wos lifted for theshepherd; and I’m blessed,’ said Mr. Weller, with a look of deepscorn―‘I’m blessed if they didn’t bring a portable flight o’ stepsout into the road a-front o’ our door for him, to get up by.’
‘You don’t mean that?’ said Sam.
‘I do mean that, Sammy,’ replied his father, ‘and I vish youcould ha’ seen how tight he held on by the sides wen he did get up,as if he wos afeerd o’ being precipitayted down full six foot, anddashed into a million hatoms. He tumbled in at last, however, andavay ve vent; and I rayther think―I say I rayther think, Samivel―that he found his-self a little jolted22 ven ve turned the corners.’
‘Wot, I s’pose you happened to drive up agin a post or two?’
said Sam. ‘I’m afeerd,’ replied Mr. Weller, in a rapture23 of winks―‘I’m afeerd I took vun or two on ’em, Sammy; he wos a-flyin’ out o’
the arm-cheer all the way.’
Here the old gentleman shook his head from side to side, andwas seized with a hoarse24 internal rumbling25, accompanied with aviolent swelling26 of the countenance, and a sudden increase in thebreadth of all his features; symptoms which alarmed his son not alittle.
‘Don’t be frightened, Sammy, don’t be frightened,’ said the oldgentleman, when by dint27 of much struggling, and variousconvulsive stamps upon the ground, he had recovered his voice.
‘It’s only a kind o’ quiet laugh as I’m a-tryin’ to come, Sammy.’
‘Well, if that’s wot it is,’ said Sam, ‘you’d better not try to comeit agin. You’ll find it rayther a dangerous inwention.’
‘Don’t you like it, Sammy?’ inquired the old gentleman.
‘Not at all,’ replied Sam.
‘Well,’ said Mr. Weller, with the tears still running down hischeeks, ‘it ’ud ha’ been a wery great accommodation to me if Icould ha’ done it, and ‘ud ha’ saved a good many vords atweenyour mother-in-law and me, sometimes; but I’m afeerd you’reright, Sammy, it’s too much in the appleplexy line―a deal toomuch, Samivel.’
This conversation brought them to the door of the snuggery,into which Sam―pausing for an instant to look over his shoulder,and cast a sly leer at his respected progenitor28, who was stillgiggling behind―at once led the way.
‘Mother-in-law,’ said Sam, politely saluting29 the lady, ‘werymuch obliged to you for this here wisit.―Shepherd, how air you?’
‘Oh, Samuel!’ said Mrs. Weller. ‘This is dreadful.’
‘Not a bit on it, mum,’ replied Sam.―‘Is it, shepherd?’
Mr. Stiggins raised his hands, and turned up his eyes, until thewhites―or rather the yellows―were alone visible; but made noreply in words.
‘Is this here gen’l’m’n troubled with any painful complaint?’
said Sam, looking to his mother-in-law for explanation.
‘The good man is grieved to see you here, Samuel,’ replied Mrs.
Weller.
‘Oh, that’s it, is it?’ said Sam. ‘I was afeerd, from his manner,that he might ha’ forgotten to take pepper vith that ’ere lastcowcumber he eat. Set down, sir, ve make no extra charge forsettin’ down, as the king remarked wen he blowed up hisministers.’
‘Young man,’ said Mr. Stiggins ostentatiously, ‘I fear you arenot softened30 by imprisonment31.’
‘Beg your pardon, sir,’ replied Sam; ‘wot wos you graciouslypleased to hobserve?’
‘I apprehend32, young man, that your nature is no softer for thischastening,’ said Mr. Stiggins, in a loud voice.
‘Sir,’ replied Sam, ‘you’re wery kind to say so. I hope my naturis not a soft vun, sir. Wery much obliged to you for your goodopinion, sir.’
At this point of the conversation, a sound, indecorouslyapproaching to a laugh, was heard to proceed from the chair inwhich the elder Mr. Weller was seated; upon which Mrs. Weller,on a hasty consideration of all the circumstances of the case,considered it her bounden duty to become gradually hysterical33.
‘Weller,’ said Mrs. W. (the old gentleman was seated in acorner); ‘Weller! Come forth34.’
‘Wery much obleeged to you, my dear,’ replied Mr. Weller; ‘butI’m quite comfortable vere I am.’
Upon this, Mrs. Weller burst into tears. ‘Wot’s gone wrong,mum?’ said Sam.
‘Oh, Samuel!’ replied Mrs. Weller, ‘your father makes mewretched. Will nothing do him good?’
‘Do you hear this here?’ said Sam. ‘Lady vants to know vethernothin’ ’ull do you good.’
‘Wery much indebted to Mrs. Weller for her po-lite inquiries,Sammy,’ replied the old gentleman. ‘I think a pipe vould benefitme a good deal. Could I be accommodated, Sammy?’
Here Mrs. Weller let fall some more tears, and Mr. Stigginsgroaned.
‘Hollo! Here’s this unfortunate gen’l’m’n took ill agin,’ saidSam, looking round. ‘Vere do you feel it now, sir?’
‘In the same place, young man,’ rejoined Mr. Stiggins, ‘in thesame place.’
‘Vere may that be, sir?’ inquired Sam, with great outwardsimplicity.
‘In the buzzim, young man,’ replied Mr. Stiggins, placing hisumbrella on his waistcoat.
At this affecting reply, Mrs. Weller, being wholly unable tosuppress her feelings, sobbed35 aloud, and stated her conviction thatthe red-nosed man was a saint; whereupon Mr. Weller, senior,ventured to suggest, in an undertone, that he must be therepresentative of the united parishes of St. Simon Without and St.
Walker Within.
‘I’m afeered, mum,’ said Sam, ‘that this here gen’l’m’n, with thetwist in his countenance, feels rather thirsty, with the melancholyspectacle afore him. Is it the case, mum?’
The worthy36 lady looked at Mr. Stiggins for a reply; thatgentleman, with many rollings of the eye, clenched37 his throat withhis right hand, and mimicked38 the act of swallowing, to intimatethat he was athirst.
‘I am afraid, Samuel, that his feelings have made him soindeed,’ said Mrs. Weller mournfully.
‘Wot’s your usual tap, sir?’ replied Sam.
‘Oh, my dear young friend,’ replied Mr. Stiggins, ‘all taps isvanities!’
‘Too true, too true, indeed,’ said Mrs. Weller, murmuring agroan, and shaking her head assentingly.
‘Well,’ said Sam, ‘I des-say they may be, sir; but wich is yourpartickler wanity? Wich wanity do you like the flavour on best,sir?’
‘Oh, my dear young friend,’ replied Mr. Stiggins, ‘I despisethem all. If,’ said Mr. Stiggins―‘if there is any one of them lessodious than another, it is the liquor called rum. Warm, my dearyoung friend, with three lumps of sugar to the tumbler.’
‘Wery sorry to say, sir,’ said Sam, ‘that they don’t allow thatparticular wanity to be sold in this here establishment.’
‘Oh, the hardness of heart of these inveterate39 men!’ ejaculatedMr. Stiggins. ‘Oh, the accursed cruelty of these inhumanpersecutors!’
With these words, Mr. Stiggins again cast up his eyes, andrapped his breast with his umbrella; and it is but justice to thereverend gentleman to say, that his indignation appeared very realand unfeigned indeed.
After Mrs. Weller and the red-nosed gentleman had commentedon this inhuman40 usage in a very forcible manner, and had venteda variety of pious42 and holy execrations against its authors, thelatter recommended a bottle of port wine, warmed with a littlewater, spice, and sugar, as being grateful to the stomach, andsavouring less of vanity than many other compounds. It wasaccordingly ordered to be prepared, and pending43 its preparationthe red-nosed man and Mrs. Weller looked at the elder W. andgroaned.
‘Well, Sammy,’ said the gentleman, ‘I hope you’ll find yourspirits rose by this here lively wisit. Wery cheerful and improvin’
conwersation, ain’t it, Sammy?’
‘You’re a reprobate,’ replied Sam; ‘and I desire you won’taddress no more o’ them ungraceful remarks to me.’
So far from being edified44 by this very proper reply, the elderMr. Weller at once relapsed into a broad grin; and this inexorableconduct causing the lady and Mr. Stiggins to close their eyes, androck themselves to and fro on their chairs, in a troubled manner,he furthermore indulged in several acts of pantomime, indicativeof a desire to pummel and wring45 the nose of the aforesaid Stiggins,the performance of which, appeared to afford him great mentalrelief. The old gentleman very narrowly escaped detection in oneinstance; for Mr. Stiggins happening to give a start on the arrivalof the negus, brought his head in smart contact with the clenchedfist with which Mr. Weller had been describing imaginaryfireworks in the air, within two inches of his ear, for some minutes.
‘Wot are you a-reachin’ out, your hand for the tumbler in that’ere sawage way for?’ said Sam, with great promptitude. ‘Don’tyou see you’ve hit the gen’l’m’n?’
‘I didn’t go to do it, Sammy,’ said Mr. Weller, in some degreeabashed by the very unexpected occurrence of the incident.
‘Try an in’ard application, sir,’ said Sam, as the red-nosedgentleman rubbed his head with a rueful visage. ‘Wot do you thinko’ that, for a go o’ wanity, warm, sir?’
Mr. Stiggins made no verbal answer, but his manner wasexpressive. He tasted the contents of the glass which Sam hadplaced in his hand, put his umbrella on the floor, and tasted itagain, passing his hand placidly46 across his stomach twice or thrice;he then drank the whole at a breath, and smacking47 his lips, heldout the tumbler for more.
Nor was Mrs. Weller behind-hand in doing justice to thecomposition. The good lady began by protesting that she couldn’ttouch a drop―then took a small drop―then a large drop―then agreat many drops; and her feelings being of the nature of thosesubstances which are powerfully affected48 by the application ofstrong waters, she dropped a tear with every drop of negus, and sogot on, melting the feelings down, until at length she had arrivedat a very pathetic and decent pitch of misery49.
The elder Mr. Weller observed these signs and tokens withmany manifestations50 of disgust, and when, after a second jug51 ofthe same, Mr. Stiggins began to sigh in a dismal52 manner, heplainly evinced his disapprobation of the whole proceedings53, bysundry incoherent ramblings of speech, among which frequentangry repetitions of the word ‘gammon’ were alonedistinguishable to the ear.
‘I’ll tell you wot it is, Samivel, my boy,’ whispered the oldgentleman into his son’s ear, after a long and steadfastcontemplation of his lady and Mr. Stiggins; ‘I think there must besomethin’ wrong in your mother-in-law’s inside, as vell as in thato’ the red-nosed man.’
‘Wot do you mean?’ said Sam.
‘I mean this here, Sammy,’ replied the old gentleman, ‘that wotthey drink, don’t seem no nourishment54 to ‘em; it all turns to warmwater, and comes a-pourin’ out o’ their eyes. ‘Pend upon it,Sammy, it’s a constitootional infirmity.’
Mr. Weller delivered this scientific opinion with manyconfirmatory frowns and nods; which, Mrs. Weller remarking, andconcluding that they bore some disparaging55 reference either toherself or to Mr. Stiggins, or to both, was on the point of becominginfinitely worse, when Mr. Stiggins, getting on his legs as well ashe could, proceeded to deliver an edifying56 discourse57 for the benefitof the company, but more especially of Mr. Samuel, whom headjured in moving terms to be upon his guard in that sink ofiniquity into which he was cast; to abstain58 from all hypocrisy59 andpride of heart; and to take in all things exact pattern and copy byhim (Stiggins), in which case he might calculate on arriving,sooner or later at the comfortable conclusion, that, like him, hewas a most estimable and blameless character, and that all hisacquaintances and friends were hopelessly abandoned andprofligate wretches60. Which consideration, he said, could not butafford him the liveliest satisfaction.
He furthermore conjured61 him to avoid, above all things, the viceof intoxication62, which he likened unto the filthy63 habits of swine,and to those poisonous and baleful drugs which being chewed inthe mouth, are said to filch64 away the memory. At this point of hisdiscourse, the reverend and red-nosed gentleman becamesingularly incoherent, and staggering to and fro in the excitementof his eloquence65, was fain to catch at the back of a chair topreserve his perpendicular66.
Mr. Stiggins did not desire his hearers to be upon their guardagainst those false prophets and wretched mockers of religion,who, without sense to expound67 its first doctrines68, or hearts to feelits first principles, are more dangerous members of society thanthe common criminal; imposing70, as they necessarily do, upon theweakest and worst informed, casting scorn and contempt on whatshould be held most sacred, and bringing into partial disreputelarge bodies of virtuous71 and well-conducted persons of manyexcellent sects72 and persuasions73. But as he leaned over the back ofthe chair for a considerable time, and closing one eye, winked74 agood deal with the other, it is presumed that he thought all this,but kept it to himself.
During the delivery of the oration75, Mrs. Weller sobbed and weptat the end of the paragraphs; while Sam, sitting cross-legged on achair and resting his arms on the top rail, regarded the speakerwith great suavity76 and blandness77 of demeanour; occasionallybestowing a look of recognition on the old gentleman, who wasdelighted at the beginning, and went to sleep about half-way.
‘Brayvo; wery pretty!’ said Sam, when the red-nosed manhaving finished, pulled his worn gloves on, thereby79 thrusting hisfingers through the broken tops till the knuckles80 were disclosed toview. ‘Wery pretty.’
‘I hope it may do you good, Samuel,’ said Mrs. Weller solemnly.
‘I think it vill, mum,’ replied Sam.
‘I wish I could hope that it would do your father good,’ said Mrs.
Weller.
‘Thank’ee, my dear,’ said Mr. Weller, senior. ‘How do you findyourself arter it, my love?’
‘Scoffer!’ exclaimed Mrs. Weller.
‘Benighted man!’ said the Reverend Mr. Stiggins.
‘If I don’t get no better light than that ’ere moonshine o’ yourn,my worthy creetur,’ said the elder Mr. Weller, ‘it’s wery likely as Ishall continey to be a night coach till I’m took off the roadaltogether. Now, Mrs. We, if the piebald stands at livery muchlonger, he’ll stand at nothin’ as we go back, and p’raps that ’ereharm-cheer ’ull be tipped over into some hedge or another, withthe shepherd in it.’
At this supposition, the Reverend Mr. Stiggins, in evidentconsternation, gathered up his hat and umbrella, and proposed animmediate departure, to which Mrs. Weller assented81. Sam walkedwith them to the lodge82 gate, and took a dutiful leave.
‘A-do, Samivel,’ said the old gentleman.
‘Wot’s a-do?’ inquired Sammy.
‘Well, good-bye, then,’ said the old gentleman.
‘Oh, that’s wot you’re aimin’ at, is it?’ said Sam. ‘Good-bye!’
‘Sammy,’ whispered Mr. Weller, looking cautiously round; ‘myduty to your gov’nor, and tell him if he thinks better o’ this herebis’ness, to com-moonicate vith me. Me and a cab’net-maker hasdewised a plan for gettin’ him out. A pianner, Samivel―apianner!’ said Mr. Weller, striking his son on the chest with theback of his hand, and falling back a step or two.
‘Wot do you mean?’ said Sam.
‘A pianner-forty, Samivel,’ rejoined Mr. Weller, in a still moremysterious manner, ‘as he can have on hire; vun as von’t play,Sammy.’
‘And wot ‘ud be the good o’ that?’ said Sam.
‘Let him send to my friend, the cabinet-maker, to fetch it back,Sammy,’ replied Mr. Weller. ‘Are you avake, now?’
‘No,’ rejoined Sam.
‘There ain’t no vurks in it,’ whispered his father. ‘It ’ull holdhim easy, vith his hat and shoes on, and breathe through the legs,vich his holler. Have a passage ready taken for ’Merriker. The’Merrikin gov’ment will never give him up, ven vunce they find ashe’s got money to spend, Sammy. Let the gov’nor stop there, tillMrs. Bardell’s dead, or Mr. Dodson and Fogg’s hung (wich lastewent I think is the most likely to happen first, Sammy), and thenlet him come back and write a book about the ’Merrikins as’ll payall his expenses and more, if he blows ’em up enough.’
Mr. Weller delivered this hurried abstract of his plot with greatvehemence of whisper; and then, as if fearful of weakening theeffect of the tremendous communication by any further dialogue,he gave the coachman’s salute83, and vanished.
Sam had scarcely recovered his usual composure ofcountenance, which had been greatly disturbed by the secretcommunication of his respected relative, when Mr. Pickwickaccosted him.
‘Sam,’ said that gentleman.
‘Sir,’ replied Mr. Weller.
‘I am going for a walk round the prison, and I wish you toattend me. I see a prisoner we know coming this way, Sam,’ saidMr. Pickwick, smiling.
‘Wich, sir?’ inquired Mr. Weller; ‘the gen’l’m’n vith the head o’
hair, or the interestin’ captive in the stockin’s?’
‘Neither,’ rejoined Mr. Pickwick. ‘He is an older friend of yours,Sam.’
‘O’ mine, sir?’ exclaimed Mr. Weller.
‘You recollect84 the gentleman very well, I dare say, Sam,’ repliedMr. Pickwick, ‘or else you are more unmindful of your oldacquaintances than I think you are. Hush85! not a word, Sam; not asyllable. Here he is.’
As Mr. Pickwick spoke86, Jingle87 walked up. He looked lessmiserable than before, being clad in a half-worn suit of clothes,which, with Mr. Pickwick’s assistance, had been released from thepawnbroker’s. He wore clean linen89 too, and had had his hair cut.
He was very pale and thin, however; and as he crept slowly up,leaning on a stick, it was easy to see that he had suffered severelyfrom illness and want, and was still very weak. He took off his hatas Mr. Pickwick saluted90 him, and seemed much humbled91 andabashed at the sight of Sam Weller.
Following close at his heels, came Mr. Job Trotter, in thecatalogue of whose vices92, want of faith and attachment93 to hiscompanion could at all events find no place. He was still raggedand squalid, but his face was not quite so hollow as on his firstmeeting with Mr. Pickwick, a few days before. As he took off hishat to our benevolent94 old friend, he murmured some brokenexpressions of gratitude95, and muttered something about havingbeen saved from starving.
‘Well, well,’ said Mr. Pickwick, impatiently interrupting him,‘you can follow with Sam. I want to speak to you, Mr. Jingle. Canyou walk without his arm?’
‘Certainly, sir―all ready―not too fast―legs shaky―headqueer―round and round―earthquaky sort of feeling―very.’
‘Here, give me your arm,’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘No, no,’ replied Jingle; ‘won’t indeed―rather not.’
‘Nonsense,’ said Mr. Pickwick; ‘lean upon me, I desire, sir.’
Seeing that he was confused and agitated96, and uncertain whatto do, Mr. Pickwick cut the matter short by drawing the invalidedstroller’s arm through his, and leading him away, without sayinganother word about it.
During the whole of this time the countenance of Mr. SamuelWeller had exhibited an expression of the most overwhelming andabsorbing astonishment97 that the imagination can portray98. Afterlooking from Job to Jingle, and from Jingle to Job in profoundsilence, he softly ejaculated the words, ‘Well, I am damn’d!’ whichhe repeated at least a score of times; after which exertion99, heappeared wholly bereft100 of speech, and again cast his eyes, firstupon the one and then upon the other, in mute perplexity andbewilderment.
‘Now, Sam!’ said Mr. Pickwick, looking back.
‘I’m a-comin’, sir,’ replied Mr. Weller, mechanically followinghis master; and still he lifted not his eyes from Mr. Job Trotter,who walked at his side in silence. Job kept his eyes fixed101 on theground for some time. Sam, with his glued to Job’s countenance,ran up against the people who were walking about, and fell overlittle children, and stumbled against steps and railings, withoutappearing at all sensible of it, until Job, looking stealthily up,said―‘How do you do, Mr. Weller?’
‘It is him!’ exclaimed Sam; and having established Job’sidentity beyond all doubt, he smote102 his leg, and vented41 his feelingsin a long, shrill103 whistle.
‘Things has altered with me, sir,’ said Job.
‘I should think they had,’ exclaimed Mr. Weller, surveying hiscompanion’s rags with undisguised wonder. ‘This is rayther achange for the worse, Mr. Trotter, as the gen’l’m’n said, wen hegot two doubtful shillin’s and sixpenn’orth o’ pocket-pieces for agood half-crown.’
‘It is indeed,’ replied Job, shaking his head. ‘There is nodeception now, Mr. Weller. Tears,’ said Job, with a look ofmomentary slyness―‘tears are not the only proofs of distress104, northe best ones.’
‘No, they ain’t,’ replied Sam expressively105.
‘They may be put on, Mr. Weller,’ said Job.
‘I know they may,’ said Sam; ‘some people, indeed, has ’emalways ready laid on, and can pull out the plug wenever they likes.’
‘Yes,’ replied Job; ‘but these sort of things are not so easilycounterfeited, Mr. Weller, and it is a more painful process to getthem up.’ As he spoke, he pointed106 to his sallow, sunken cheeks,and, drawing up his coat sleeve, disclosed an arm which looked asif the bone could be broken at a touch, so sharp and brittle107 did itappear, beneath its thin covering of flesh.
‘Wot have you been a-doin’ to yourself?’ said Sam, recoiling108.
‘Nothing,’ replied Job.
‘Nothin?’ echoed Sam.
‘I have been doin’ nothing for many weeks past,’ said Job; andeating and drinking almost as little.’
Sam took one comprehensive glance at Mr. Trotter’s thin faceand wretched apparel; and then, seizing him by the arm,commenced dragging him away with great violence.
‘Where are you going, Mr. Weller?’ said Job, vainly strugglingin the powerful grasp of his old enemy. ‘Come on,’ said Sam; ‘comeon!’ He deigned109 no further explanation till they reached the tap,and then called for a pot of porter, which was speedily produced.
‘Now,’ said Sam, ‘drink that up, ev’ry drop on it, and then turnthe pot upside down, to let me see as you’ve took the medicine.’
‘But, my dear Mr. Weller,’ remonstrated110 Job.
‘Down vith it!’ said Sam peremptorily111.
Thus admonished112, Mr. Trotter raised the pot to his lips, and, bygentle and almost imperceptible degrees, tilted113 it into the air. Hepaused once, and only once, to draw a long breath, but withoutraising his face from the vessel114, which, in a few momentsthereafter, he held out at arm’s length, bottom upward. Nothingfell upon the ground but a few particles of froth, which slowlydetached themselves from the rim69, and trickled115 lazily down.
‘Well done!’ said Sam. ‘How do you find yourself arter it?’
‘Better, sir. I think I am better,’ responded Job.
‘O’ course you air,’ said Sam argumentatively. ‘It’s like puttin’
gas in a balloon. I can see with the naked eye that you gets stouterunder the operation. Wot do you say to another o’ the samedimensions?’
‘I would rather not, I am much obliged to you, sir,’ repliedJob―‘much rather not.’
‘Vell, then, wot do you say to some wittles?’ inquired Sam.
‘Thanks to your worthy governor, sir,’ said Mr. Trotter, ‘wehave half a leg of mutton, baked, at a quarter before three, withthe potatoes under it to save boiling.’
‘Wot! Has he been a-purwidin’ for you?’ asked Samemphatically.
‘He has, sir,’ replied Job. ‘More than that, Mr. Weller; mymaster being very ill, he got us a room―we were in a kennelbefore―and paid for it, sir; and come to look at us, at night, whennobody should know. Mr. Weller,’ said Job, with real tears in hiseyes, for once, ‘I could serve that gentleman till I fell down dead athis feet.’
‘I say!’ said Sam, ‘I’ll trouble you, my friend! None o’ that!’
Job Trotter looked amazed.
‘None o’ that, I say, young feller,’ repeated Sam firmly. ‘No manserves him but me. And now we’re upon it, I’ll let you into anothersecret besides that,’ said Sam, as he paid for the beer. ‘I neverheerd, mind you, or read of in story-books, nor see in picters, anyangel in tights and gaiters―not even in spectacles, as I remember,though that may ha’ been done for anythin’ I know to thecontrairey―but mark my vords, Job Trotter, he’s a reg’larthoroughbred angel for all that; and let me see the man as wentursto tell me he knows a better vun.’ With this defiance116, Mr. Wellerbuttoned up his change in a side pocket, and, with manyconfirmatory nods and gestures by the way, proceeded in searchof the subject of discourse.
They found Mr. Pickwick, in company with Jingle, talking veryearnestly, and not bestowing78 a look on the groups who werecongregated on the racket-ground; they were very motley groupstoo, and worth the looking at, if it were only in idle curiosity.
‘Well,’ said Mr. Pickwick, as Sam and his companion drew nigh,‘you will see how your health becomes, and think about itmeanwhile. Make the statement out for me when you feel yourselfequal to the task, and I will discuss the subject with you when Ihave considered it. Now, go to your room. You are tired, and notstrong enough to be out long.’
Mr. Alfred Jingle, without one spark of his old animation―withnothing even of the dismal gaiety which he had assumed when Mr.
Pickwick first stumbled on him in his misery―bowed low withoutspeaking, and, motioning to Job not to follow him just yet, creptslowly away.
‘Curious scene this, is it not, Sam?’ said Mr. Pickwick, lookinggood-humouredly round.
‘Wery much so, sir,’ replied Sam. ‘Wonders ’ull never cease,’
added Sam, speaking to himself. ‘I’m wery much mistaken if that’ere Jingle worn’t a-doin somethin’ in the water-cart way!’
The area formed by the wall in that part of the Fleet in whichMr. Pickwick stood was just wide enough to make a good racket-court; one side being formed, of course, by the wall itself, and theother by that portion of the prison which looked (or rather wouldhave looked, but for the wall) towards St. Paul’s Cathedral.
Sauntering or sitting about, in every possible attitude of listlessidleness, were a great number of debtors117, the major part of whomwere waiting in prison until their day of ‘going up’ before theInsolvent Court should arrive; while others had been remandedfor various terms, which they were idling away as they best could.
Some were shabby, some were smart, many dirty, a few clean; butthere they all lounged, and loitered, and slunk about with as littlespirit or purpose as the beasts in a menagerie.
Lolling from the windows which commanded a view of thispromenade were a number of persons, some in noisy conversationwith their acquaintance below, others playing at ball with someadventurous throwers outside, others looking on at the racket-players, or watching the boys as they cried the game. Dirty,slipshod women passed and repassed, on their way to the cooking-house in one corner of the yard; children screamed, and fought,and played together, in another; the tumbling of the skittles, andthe shouts of the players, mingled118 perpetually with these and ahundred other sounds; and all was noise and tumult―save in alittle miserable88 shed a few yards off, where lay, all quiet andghastly, the body of the Chancery prisoner who had died the nightbefore, awaiting the mockery of an inquest. The body! It is thelawyer’s term for the restless, whirling mass of cares and anxieties,affections, hopes, and griefs, that make up the living man. The lawhad his body; and there it lay, clothed in grave-clothes, an awfulwitness to its tender mercy.
‘Would you like to see a whistling-shop, sir?’ inquired JobTrotter.
‘What do you mean?’ was Mr. Pickwick’s counter inquiry119.
‘A vistlin’ shop, sir,’ interposed Mr. Weller.
‘What is that, Sam?―A bird-fancier’s?’ inquired Mr. Pickwick.
‘Bless your heart, no, sir,’ replied Job; ‘a whistling-shop, sir, iswhere they sell spirits.’ Mr. Job Trotter briefly120 explained here, thatall persons, being prohibited under heavy penalties fromconveying spirits into debtors’ prisons, and such commoditiesbeing highly prized by the ladies and gentlemen confined therein,it had occurred to some speculative121 turnkey to connive122, for certainlucrative considerations, at two or three prisoners retailing123 thefavourite article of gin, for their own profit and advantage.
‘This plan, you see, sir, has been gradually introduced into allthe prisons for debt,’ said Mr. Trotter.
‘And it has this wery great advantage,’ said Sam, ‘that theturnkeys takes wery good care to seize hold o’ ev’rybody but themas pays ’em, that attempts the willainy, and wen it gets in thepapers they’re applauded for their wigilance; so it cuts two ways―frightens other people from the trade, and elewates their owncharacters.’
‘Exactly so, Mr. Weller,’ observed Job.
‘Well, but are these rooms never searched to ascertain10 whetherany spirits are concealed124 in them?’ said Mr. Pickwick.
‘Cert’nly they are, sir,’ replied Sam; ‘but the turnkeys knowsbeforehand, and gives the word to the wistlers, and you may wistlefor it wen you go to look.’
By this time, Job had tapped at a door, which was opened by agentleman with an uncombed head, who bolted it after them whenthey had walked in, and grinned; upon which Job grinned, andSam also; whereupon Mr. Pickwick, thinking it might be expectedof him, kept on smiling to the end of the interview.
The gentleman with the uncombed head appeared quitesatisfied with this mute announcement of their business, and,producing a flat stone bottle, which might hold about a couple ofquarts, from beneath his bedstead, filled out three glasses of gin,which Job Trotter and Sam disposed of in a most workmanlikemanner.
‘Any more?’ said the whistling gentleman.
‘No more,’ replied Job Trotter.
Mr. Pickwick paid, the door was unbolted, and out they came;the uncombed gentleman bestowing a friendly nod upon Mr.
Roker, who happened to be passing at the moment.
From this spot, Mr. Pickwick wandered along all the galleries,up and down all the staircases, and once again round the wholearea of the yard. The great body of the prison population appearedto be Mivins, and Smangle, and the parson, and the butcher, andthe leg, over and over, and over again. There were the samesqualor, the same turmoil125 and noise, the same generalcharacteristics, in every corner; in the best and the worst alike.
The whole place seemed restless and troubled; and the peoplewere crowding and flitting to and fro, like the shadows in anuneasy dream.
‘I have seen enough,’ said Mr. Pickwick, as he threw himselfinto a chair in his little apartment. ‘My head aches with thesescenes, and my heart too. Henceforth I will be a prisoner in myown room.’
And Mr. Pickwick steadfastly126 adhered to this determination.
For three long months he remained shut up, all day; only stealingout at night to breathe the air, when the greater part of his fellow-prisoners were in bed or carousing127 in their rooms. His health wasbeginning to suffer from the closeness of the confinement128, butneither the often-repeated entreaties129 of Perker and his friends,nor the still more frequently-repeated warnings and admonitionsof Mr. Samuel Weller, could induce him to alter one jot130 of hisinflexible resolution.
收听单词发音 |
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diminutive
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| adj.小巧可爱的，小的 | |
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incarceration
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| n.监禁，禁闭；钳闭 | |
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sedate
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| adj.沉着的，镇静的，安静的 | |
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refreshing
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| adj.使精神振作的，使人清爽的，使人喜欢的 | |
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draught
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| n.拉，牵引，拖；一网（饮，吸，阵)；顿服药量，通风；v.起草，设计 | |
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bestowed
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| 赠给，授予( bestow的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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platonic
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| adj.精神的；柏拉图（哲学）的 | |
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wink
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| n.眨眼，使眼色，瞬间；v.眨眼，使眼色，闪烁 | |
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outwards
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| adj.外面的，公开的，向外的；adv.向外；n.外形 | |
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ascertain
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| vt.发现，确定，查明，弄清 | |
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noted
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| adj.著名的，知名的 | |
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stentorian
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| adj.大声的，响亮的 | |
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taunts
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| 嘲弄的言语，嘲笑，奚落( taunt的名词复数 ) | |
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chuckling
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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eyebrows
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| 眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 ) | |
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vent
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| n.通风口，排放口；开衩；vt.表达，发泄 | |
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inevitably
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| adv.不可避免地；必然发生地 | |
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distension
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| n.扩张，膨胀(distention) | |
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countenance
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| n.脸色，面容；面部表情；vt.支持，赞同 | |
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creditor
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| n.债仅人，债主，贷方 | |
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reciprocating
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| adj.往复的；来回的；交替的；摆动的v.报答，酬答( reciprocate的现在分词 )；（机器的部件）直线往复运动 | |
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jolted
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| （使）摇动， （使）震惊( jolt的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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rapture
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| n.狂喜；全神贯注；着迷；v.使狂喜 | |
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hoarse
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| adj.嘶哑的，沙哑的 | |
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rumbling
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| n. 隆隆声, 辘辘声 adj. 隆隆响的 动词rumble的现在分词 | |
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26
swelling
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| n.肿胀 | |
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dint
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| n.由于，靠；凹坑 | |
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progenitor
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| n.祖先，先驱 | |
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saluting
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的现在分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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softened
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| （使）变软( soften的过去式和过去分词 )； 缓解打击； 缓和； 安慰 | |
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imprisonment
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| n.关押，监禁，坐牢 | |
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apprehend
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| vt.理解，领悟，逮捕，拘捕，忧虑 | |
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33
hysterical
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| adj.情绪异常激动的，歇斯底里般的 | |
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forth
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| adv.向前；向外，往外 | |
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sobbed
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| 哭泣，啜泣( sob的过去式和过去分词 )； 哭诉，呜咽地说 | |
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worthy
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| adj.(of)值得的，配得上的；有价值的 | |
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clenched
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| v.紧握，抓紧，咬紧( clench的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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mimicked
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| v.（尤指为了逗乐而）模仿( mimic的过去式和过去分词 )；酷似 | |
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inveterate
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| adj.积习已深的，根深蒂固的 | |
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40
inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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vented
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| 表达，发泄（感情，尤指愤怒）( vent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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pious
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| adj.虔诚的；道貌岸然的 | |
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pending
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| prep.直到，等待…期间；adj.待定的；迫近的 | |
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44
edified
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| v.开导，启发( edify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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45
wring
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| n.扭绞；v.拧，绞出，扭 | |
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46
placidly
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| adv.平稳地，平静地 | |
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smacking
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| 活泼的，发出响声的，精力充沛的 | |
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affected
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| adj.不自然的，假装的 | |
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misery
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| n.痛苦，苦恼，苦难；悲惨的境遇，贫苦 | |
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manifestations
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| n.表示，显示（manifestation的复数形式） | |
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51
jug
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| n.(有柄，小口，可盛水等的)大壶，罐，盂 | |
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52
dismal
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| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
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proceedings
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| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
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54
nourishment
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| n.食物，营养品；营养情况 | |
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55
disparaging
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| adj.轻蔑的，毁谤的v.轻视( disparage的现在分词 )；贬低；批评；非难 | |
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56
edifying
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| adj.有教训意味的，教训性的，有益的v.开导，启发( edify的现在分词 ) | |
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discourse
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| n.论文，演说；谈话；话语；vi.讲述，著述 | |
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58
abstain
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| v.自制，戒绝，弃权，避免 | |
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59
hypocrisy
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| n.伪善，虚伪 | |
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60
wretches
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| n.不幸的人( wretch的名词复数 )；可怜的人；恶棍；坏蛋 | |
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61
conjured
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| 用魔术变出( conjure的过去式和过去分词 )； 祈求，恳求； 变戏法； （变魔术般地） 使…出现 | |
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intoxication
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| n.wild excitement;drunkenness；poisoning | |
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filthy
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| adj.卑劣的；恶劣的，肮脏的 | |
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64
filch
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| v.偷窃 | |
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eloquence
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| n.雄辩；口才，修辞 | |
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perpendicular
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| adj.垂直的，直立的；n.垂直线，垂直的位置 | |
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expound
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| v.详述；解释；阐述 | |
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68
doctrines
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| n.教条( doctrine的名词复数 )；教义；学说；（政府政策的）正式声明 | |
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rim
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| n.(圆物的)边，轮缘；边界 | |
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imposing
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| adj.使人难忘的，壮丽的，堂皇的，雄伟的 | |
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virtuous
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| adj.有品德的，善良的，贞洁的，有效力的 | |
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72
sects
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| n.宗派，教派( sect的名词复数 ) | |
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persuasions
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| n.劝说，说服（力）( persuasion的名词复数 )；信仰 | |
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74
winked
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| v.使眼色( wink的过去式和过去分词 )；递眼色（表示友好或高兴等）；（指光）闪烁；闪亮 | |
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oration
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| n.演说，致辞，叙述法 | |
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76
suavity
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| n.温和；殷勤 | |
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blandness
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| n.温柔，爽快 | |
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78
bestowing
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| 砖窑中砖堆上层已烧透的砖 | |
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79
thereby
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| adv.因此，从而 | |
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80
knuckles
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| n.（指人）指关节( knuckle的名词复数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝v.（指人）指关节( knuckle的第三人称单数 )；（指动物）膝关节，踝 | |
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81
assented
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| 同意，赞成( assent的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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82
lodge
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| v.临时住宿，寄宿，寄存，容纳；n.传达室，小旅馆 | |
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83
salute
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| vi.行礼，致意，问候，放礼炮；vt.向…致意，迎接，赞扬；n.招呼，敬礼，礼炮 | |
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84
recollect
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| v.回忆，想起，记起，忆起，记得 | |
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85
hush
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| int.嘘，别出声；n.沉默，静寂；v.使安静 | |
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86
spoke
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| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
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87
jingle
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| n.叮当声，韵律简单的诗句；v.使叮当作响，叮当响，押韵 | |
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88
miserable
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| adj.悲惨的，痛苦的；可怜的，糟糕的 | |
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89
linen
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| n.亚麻布，亚麻线，亚麻制品；adj.亚麻布制的，亚麻的 | |
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90
saluted
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| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
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91
humbled
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| adj. 卑下的，谦逊的，粗陋的 vt. 使 ... 卑下，贬低 | |
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92
vices
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| 缺陷( vice的名词复数 )； 恶习； 不道德行为； 台钳 | |
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attachment
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| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
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benevolent
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| adj.仁慈的，乐善好施的 | |
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gratitude
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| adj.感激，感谢 | |
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agitated
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| adj.被鼓动的，不安的 | |
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astonishment
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| n.惊奇，惊异 | |
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portray
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| v.描写，描述；画(人物、景象等) | |
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exertion
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| n.尽力，努力 | |
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bereft
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| adj.被剥夺的 | |
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fixed
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| adj.固定的，不变的，准备好的；(计算机)固定的 | |
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102
smote
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| v.猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去式 ) | |
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shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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distress
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| n.苦恼，痛苦，不舒适；不幸；vt.使悲痛 | |
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expressively
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| ad.表示(某事物)地；表达地 | |
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pointed
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| adj.尖的，直截了当的 | |
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brittle
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| adj.易碎的；脆弱的；冷淡的；(声音)尖利的 | |
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recoiling
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| v.畏缩( recoil的现在分词 )；退缩；报应；返回 | |
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deigned
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| v.屈尊，俯就( deign的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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remonstrated
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| v.抗议( remonstrate的过去式和过去分词 )；告诫 | |
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peremptorily
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| adv.紧急地，不容分说地，专横地 | |
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admonished
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| v.劝告( admonish的过去式和过去分词 )；训诫；（温和地）责备；轻责 | |
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tilted
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| v. 倾斜的 | |
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vessel
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| n.船舶；容器，器皿；管，导管，血管 | |
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trickled
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| v.滴( trickle的过去式和过去分词 )；淌；使)慢慢走；缓慢移动 | |
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defiance
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| n.挑战，挑衅，蔑视，违抗 | |
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debtors
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| n.债务人，借方( debtor的名词复数 ) | |
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mingled
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| 混合，混入( mingle的过去式和过去分词 )； 混进，与…交往[联系] | |
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inquiry
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| n.打听，询问，调查，查问 | |
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briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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speculative
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| adj.思索性的，暝想性的，推理的 | |
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connive
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| v.纵容；密谋 | |
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retailing
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| n.零售业v.零售(retail的现在分词) | |
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concealed
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| a.隐藏的，隐蔽的 | |
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turmoil
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| n.骚乱，混乱，动乱 | |
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steadfastly
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| adv.踏实地，不变地；岿然；坚定不渝 | |
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carousing
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| v.痛饮，闹饮欢宴( carouse的现在分词 ) | |
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confinement
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| n.幽禁，拘留，监禁；分娩；限制，局限 | |
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entreaties
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| n.恳求，乞求( entreaty的名词复数 ) | |
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jot
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| n.少量；vi.草草记下；vt.匆匆写下 | |
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