The compensating3 satisfaction which they bring must be very vivid, since it counterbalances so many sufferings. In order to love them, we have no need to be convinced that they will respond to our cares, and one day repay them. If there be in the human heart one disinterested4 sentiment, it is parental5 love. Our tenderness for our children is independent of reflection. We love them because they are our children. Their existence makes a part of ours; or, rather, is more than ours. All that is either useful or pleasant to them, brings us a pure happiness, springing from their health, their gayety, their amusements.
The chief end which we ought to propose to ourselves, in rearing them, is to train and dispose them so that they may wisely enjoy that existence which is accorded them. Of all the happy influences which can be brought to bear upon their mind and manners, none is more[118] beneficial than the example of parental gentleness. The good Plutarch most eloquently6 advanced this doctrine7 in ancient time. Montaigne, Rousseau, M’Kenzie, and various writers of minor8 fame among the moderns, have reproduced his ideas, and, by their authority, have finally effected a happy revolution in education. I delight to trace the most important ideas thus reproduced by enlightened and noble minds in different ages. It is chiefly by persevering9 in the system of the influence of gentleness that we may expect an ultimate melioration in the human character and condition.
But scarcely has any such salutary change been effected, before minds, either superficial or soured, see only the inconveniences which accompany it; and, instead of evading10 or correcting them, would return to the point whence they started. We hear people regretting the decline of the severity of ancient education; and maintaining the wisdom of those contrarieties and vexations which children used to experience; ‘a fitting discipline of preparation,’ say they, ‘to prepare them for the sorrows of life.’ Would they, on the same principle, inflict11 bruises12 and contusions, to train them to the right endurance of those that carelessness or accident might bring? ‘It is an advantage,’ say they, ‘to put them to an apprenticeship13 of pain at the period when the sorrow it inflicts14 is light and transient.’ This mode of speaking, with many others of similar import, presents a combination of much error with some truth.
The sufferings of childhood seem to us trifling15 and easy to endure, because time has interposed distance between them and us; and we have no fear of ever meeting them again. It does not cease to be a fact,[119] that the child that passes a year under the discipline of the ferule of a severe master, is as unhappy as a man deprived a year of his liberty. The latter, in truth, has less reason to complain; since he ought to find, in the discipline of his reason, and his maturity16 and force of character, more powerful motives17 for patient endurance. Parents! Providence18 has placed the destiny of your children in your hands. When you thus sacrifice the present to an uncertain future, you ought to have strong proof that you will put at their disposal the means of indemnification. If the sacrifice of the present to the future were indispensable, I would not dissuade19 from it. But my conviction is, that the best means of preparing them for the future may be found in rendering20 them as happy as possible for the present. If it should be your severe trial to be deprived of them in their early days, you will, at least, have the consolation21 of being able to say, ‘I have rendered them happy during the short time they were confided22 to me.’ Strive then, by gentleness, guided by wisdom and authority, to cast the sunshine of enjoyment23 upon the necessary toils24 and studies of the morning of their existence.
It is the stern award of nature to bring them sorrows. Our task is to soothe25 them. I feel an interest when I see the child regret the trinket it has broken, or the bird it has reared. Nature in this way, gives them the first lessons of pain, and strengthens them to sustain the more bitter losses of maturer days. Let us prudently26 second the efforts of nature; and to console the weeping child, let us not attempt to change the course of these fugitive27 ideas, nor to efface28 the vexation by a pleasure. In unavoidable suffering let the dawning courage and reason[120] find strength for endurance. Let us first share the regrets, and gently bring the sufferer to feel the inutility of tears. Let us accustom29 him not to throw away his strength in useless efforts; and let us form his mind to bear without a murmur30 the yoke31 of necessity. These maxims32, I am aware, are directly against the spirit of modern education, which is almost entirely33 directed towards the views of ambition.
But while I earnestly inculcate gentleness in parental discipline, I would not confound it with weakness. I disapprove34 that familiarity between parents and children which is unfavorable to subordination. Fashion is likely to introduce an injurious equality into this relation. I see the progress of this dangerous effeminacy with regret. The dress and expenditures35 which would formerly36 have supplied ten children, scarcely satisfy at present the caprices of one. This foolish complaisance37 of parents prepares, for the future husbands and wives, a task most difficult to fulfil. Let us not, by anticipating and preventing the wishes of children, teach them to be indolent in searching for their own pleasures. Their age is fertile in this species of invention. That they may be successful in seizing enjoyment, little more is requisite38 to be performed on our part than to break their chains.
There are two fruitful sources of torments for children. One is, what the present day denominates politeness. It is revolting to me to see children early trained to forego their delightful39 frankness and simplicity40, and learning artificial manners. We wish them to become little personages; and we compel them to receive tiresome41 compliments, and to repeat insignificant42 formulas[121] of common-place flattery. In this way, politeness, destined43 to impart amenity44 to life, becomes a source of vexation and restraint. It would seem as if we thought it so important a matter to teach the usages of society, that they could never be known unless the study were commenced in infancy45. Besides, do we flatter ourselves, that we shall be able to teach children the modes and the vocabulary of politeness, without initiating46 them, at the same time, in the rudiments47 of falsehood? They are compelled to see that we consider it a trifle. If we wish them to become flatterers and dishonest, I ask what more efficient method we could take?
Labor48 is the second source of their sufferings. I would by no means be understood to dissuade from the assiduous cultivation49 of habits of industry. You may enable children to remove mountains, if you will contrive50 to render their tasks a matter of amusement and interest. The extreme curiosity of children announces an instinctive51 desire for instruction. But instead of profiting by it, we adopt measures which tend to stifle52 it. We render their studies tiresome, and then say that the young naturally tire of study.
When the parent is sufficiently53 enlightened to rear his child himself, instead of plying54 him with rudimental books, dictionaries and restraint, let him impart the first instructions by familiar conversation. Ideas advanced in this way are accommodated to the comprehension of the pupil, by mutual55 good feeling rendered attractive, and brought directly within the embrace of his mind. This instruction leads him to observe, and accustoms56 him to compare, reflect and discriminate57, offers the sciences under interesting associations, and inspires[122] a natural thirst for instruction. Of all results which education can produce, this is the most useful. A youth of fifteen, trained in this way, will come into possession of more truths, mixed with fewer errors, than much older persons reared in the common way. He will be distinguished58 by the early maturity of his reason, and by his eagerness to cultivate the sciences, which, instead of producing fatigue59 or disgust, will every day give birth to new ideas and new pleasures. I am nevertheless little surprised, that the scrupulous60 advocates of the existing routine should insist that such a method tends to form superficial thinkers. I can only say to these profound panegyrists of the present order of instruction, that the method which I recommend, was that of the Greeks.—Their philosophers taught while walking in the shade of the portico61 or of trees, and were ignorant of the art of rendering study tiresome, and not disposed to throw over it the benefits of constraint62. Modern instructers ought, therefore, to find that they were shallow reasoners, and that their poets and artists could have produced only crude and unfinished efforts.[33]
Besides, this part of education is of trifling importance, compared with the paramount63 obligation to give the pupil robust64 health, pure morals, and an energetic mind. I deeply regret that the despotic empire of opinion is more powerful than paternal65 love. Instead of gravely teaching to your son the little arts of shining in the world, have the courage to say to him, ‘oblige those of thy kind whose sufferings thou canst lighten, and exhibit a constant and universal example of good morals. Form, every evening, projects necessary for enjoying a happy and useful succeeding day.’ Thus you will see[123] him useful, good and happy, if not great in the world’s estimation. You will behold66 him peacefully descending67 the current of time. In striking the balance with life, he will be able to say, I have known only those sufferings which no wisdom could evade68, and no efforts repel69. But such are the prejudices of the age, to give such counsels to a son requires rare and heroic courage.
Is not that filial ingratitude70, of which parents so generally complain, the bitter fruit of their own training?—You fill their hearts with mercenary passions, and with measureless ambition. You break the tenderest ties, and send them to distant public schools. Your children, in turn, put your lessons to account, and abandon your importunate71 and declining age, if you depend on them, to mercenary hands. When they were young, you ridiculed72 them out of their innocent recklessness, and frankness, and want of worldly wisdom. You vaunted to them that ambition and those arts of rising, which, put in practice, have steeled their hearts against filial piety73, as well as the other affections that belong not to calculation. Since the paramount object of your training was to teach them to shine, and make the most out of every body, you have at least a right to expect from their vanity, pompous74 funeral solemnities. I revere75 that indication of infinite wisdom, that has rendered the love of the parent more anxious and tender than that of the child. The intensity76 of the affections ought to be proportionate to the wants of the beings that excite them. But ingratitude is not in nature. Better training would have produced other manners. In rearing our children with more enlightened care, in inspiring them with moderate desires, in reducing their eagerness for brilliancy and distinction,[124] we shall render them happy, without stifling77 their natural filial sentiments; and we shall thus use the best means of training them to sustain and soothe our last moments, as we embellished78 their first days.
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torments
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| （肉体或精神上的）折磨，痛苦( torment的名词复数 )； 造成痛苦的事物[人] | |
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epoch
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| n.(新)时代；历元 | |
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compensating
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| 补偿，补助，修正 | |
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disinterested
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| adj.不关心的，不感兴趣的 | |
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parental
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| adj.父母的；父的；母的 | |
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eloquently
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| adv. 雄辩地(有口才地, 富于表情地) | |
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doctrine
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| n.教义；主义；学说 | |
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minor
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| adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修 | |
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persevering
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| a.坚忍不拔的 | |
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evading
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| 逃避( evade的现在分词 )； 避开； 回避； 想不出 | |
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inflict
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| vt.(on)把…强加给，使遭受，使承担 | |
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bruises
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| n.瘀伤，伤痕，擦伤( bruise的名词复数 ) | |
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apprenticeship
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| n.学徒身份；学徒期 | |
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inflicts
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| 把…强加给，使承受，遭受( inflict的第三人称单数 ) | |
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trifling
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| adj.微不足道的；没什么价值的 | |
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maturity
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| n.成熟；完成；(支票、债券等)到期 | |
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motives
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| n.动机，目的( motive的名词复数 ) | |
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providence
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| n.深谋远虑，天道，天意；远见；节约；上帝 | |
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dissuade
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| v.劝阻，阻止 | |
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rendering
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| n.表现，描写 | |
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consolation
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| n.安慰，慰问 | |
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confided
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| v.吐露（秘密，心事等）( confide的过去式和过去分词 )；（向某人）吐露（隐私、秘密等） | |
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enjoyment
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| n.乐趣；享有；享用 | |
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toils
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| 网 | |
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soothe
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| v.安慰；使平静；使减轻；缓和；奉承 | |
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prudently
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| adv. 谨慎地，慎重地 | |
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fugitive
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| adj.逃亡的，易逝的；n.逃犯，逃亡者 | |
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efface
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| v.擦掉，抹去 | |
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accustom
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| vt.使适应，使习惯 | |
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murmur
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| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
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yoke
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| n.轭；支配；v.给...上轭，连接，使成配偶 | |
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maxims
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| n.格言，座右铭( maxim的名词复数 ) | |
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entirely
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| ad.全部地，完整地；完全地，彻底地 | |
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disapprove
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| v.不赞成，不同意，不批准 | |
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expenditures
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| n.花费( expenditure的名词复数 )；使用；（尤指金钱的）支出额；（精力、时间、材料等的）耗费 | |
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formerly
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| adv.从前，以前 | |
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complaisance
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| n.彬彬有礼，殷勤，柔顺 | |
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requisite
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| adj.需要的，必不可少的；n.必需品 | |
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delightful
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| adj.令人高兴的，使人快乐的 | |
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simplicity
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| n.简单，简易；朴素；直率，单纯 | |
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tiresome
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| adj.令人疲劳的，令人厌倦的 | |
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insignificant
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| adj.无关紧要的，可忽略的，无意义的 | |
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destined
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| adj.命中注定的；(for)以…为目的地的 | |
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amenity
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| n.pl.生活福利设施，文娱康乐场所；（不可数）愉快，适意 | |
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45
infancy
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| n.婴儿期；幼年期；初期 | |
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46
initiating
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| v.开始( initiate的现在分词 )；传授；发起；接纳新成员 | |
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rudiments
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| n.基础知识，入门 | |
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48
labor
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| n.劳动，努力，工作，劳工；分娩；vi.劳动，努力，苦干；vt.详细分析；麻烦 | |
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49
cultivation
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| n.耕作，培养，栽培（法），养成 | |
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50
contrive
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| vt.谋划，策划；设法做到；设计，想出 | |
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51
instinctive
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| adj.(出于)本能的；直觉的；(出于)天性的 | |
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52
stifle
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| vt.使窒息；闷死；扼杀；抑止，阻止 | |
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53
sufficiently
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| adv.足够地，充分地 | |
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54
plying
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| v.使用（工具）( ply的现在分词 )；经常供应（食物、饮料）；固定往来；经营生意 | |
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mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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56
accustoms
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| v.（使）习惯于( accustom的第三人称单数 ) | |
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57
discriminate
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| v.区别，辨别，区分；有区别地对待 | |
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distinguished
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| adj.卓越的，杰出的，著名的 | |
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fatigue
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| n.疲劳，劳累 | |
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60
scrupulous
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| adj.审慎的，小心翼翼的，完全的，纯粹的 | |
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portico
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| n.柱廊，门廊 | |
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constraint
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| n.(on)约束，限制；限制(或约束)性的事物 | |
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paramount
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| a.最重要的，最高权力的 | |
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robust
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| adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的 | |
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paternal
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| adj.父亲的，像父亲的，父系的，父方的 | |
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behold
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| v.看，注视，看到 | |
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descending
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| n. 下行 adj. 下降的 | |
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68
evade
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| vt.逃避，回避；避开，躲避 | |
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repel
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| v.击退，抵制，拒绝，排斥 | |
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ingratitude
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| n.忘恩负义 | |
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importunate
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| adj.强求的；纠缠不休的 | |
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72
ridiculed
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| v.嘲笑，嘲弄，奚落( ridicule的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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piety
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| n.虔诚，虔敬 | |
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pompous
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| adj.傲慢的，自大的；夸大的；豪华的 | |
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revere
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| vt.尊崇，崇敬，敬畏 | |
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intensity
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| n.强烈，剧烈；强度；烈度 | |
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stifling
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| a.令人窒息的 | |
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embellished
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| v.美化( embellish的过去式和过去分词 )；装饰；修饰；润色 | |
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