GUDRUN KNEW that it was a critical thing for her to go to Shortlands. She knew it was equivalent to accepting Gerald Crich as a lover. And though she hung back, disliking the condition, yet she knew she would go on. She equivocated1. She said to herself, in torment2 recalling the blow and the kiss, `after all, what is it? What is a kiss? What even is a blow? It is an instant, vanished at once. I can go to Shortlands just for a time, before I go away, if only to see what it is like.' For she had an insatiable curiosity to see and to know everything.
She also wanted to know what Winifred was really like. Having heard the child calling from the steamer in the night, she felt some mysterious connection with her.
Gudrun talked with the father in the library. Then he sent for his daughter. She came accompanied by Mademoiselle.
`Winnie, this is Miss Brangwen, who will be so kind as to help you with your drawing and making models of your animals,' said the father.
The child looked at Gudrun for a moment with interest, before she came forward and with face averted3 offered her hand. There was a complete sang froid and indifference4 under Winifred's childish reserve, a certain irresponsible callousness5.
`How do you do?' said the child, not lifting her face.
`How do you do?' said Gudrun.
Then Winifred stood aside, and Gudrun was introduced to Mademoiselle.
`You have a fine day for your walk,' said Mademoiselle, in a bright manner.
`Quite fine,' said Gudrun.
Winifred was watching from her distance. She was as if amused, but rather unsure as yet what this new person was like. She saw so many new persons, and so few who became real to her. Mademoiselle was of no count whatever, the child merely put up with her, calmly and easily, accepting her little authority with faint scorn, compliant6 out of childish arrogance7 of indifference.
`Well, Winifred,' said the father, `aren't you glad Miss Brangwen has come? She makes animals and birds in wood and in clay, that the people in London write about in the papers, praising them to the skies.'
Winifred smiled slightly.
`Who told you, Daddie?' she asked.
`Who told me? Hermione told me, and Rupert Birkin.'
`Do you know them?' Winifred asked of Gudrun, turning to her with faint challenge.
`Yes,' said Gudrun.
Winifred readjusted herself a little. She had been ready to accept Gudrun as a sort of servant. Now she saw it was on terms of friendship they were intended to meet. She was rather glad. She had so many half inferiors, whom she tolerated with perfect good-humour.
Gudrun was very calm. She also did not take these things very seriously. A new occasion was mostly spectacular to her. However, Winifred was a detached, ironic8 child, she would never attach herself. Gudrun liked her and was intrigued9 by her. The first meetings went off with a certain humiliating clumsiness. Neither Winifred nor her instructress had any social grace.
Soon, however, they met in a kind of make-belief world. Winifred did not notice human beings unless they were like herself, playful and slightly mocking. She would accept nothing but the world of amusement, and the serious people of her life were the animals she had for pets. On those she lavished10, almost ironically, her affection and her companionship. To the rest of the human scheme she submitted with a faint bored indifference.
She had a pekinese dog called Looloo, which she loved.
`Let us draw Looloo,' said Gudrun, `and see if we can get his Looliness, shall we?'
`Darling!' cried Winifred, rushing to the dog, that sat with contemplative sadness on the hearth11, and kissing its bulging12 brow. `Darling one, will you be drawn13? Shall its mummy draw its portrait?' Then she chuckled14 gleefully, and turning to Gudrun, said: `Oh let's!'
They proceeded to get pencils and paper, and were ready.
`Beautifullest,' cried Winifred, hugging the dog, `sit still while its mummy draws its beautiful portrait.' The dog looked up at her with grievous resignation in its large, prominent eyes. She kissed it fervently16, and said: `I wonder what mine will be like. It's sure to be awful.'
As she sketched17 she chuckled to herself, and cried out at times:
`Oh darling, you're so beautiful!'
And again chuckling18, she rushed to embrace the dog, in penitence19, as if she were doing him some subtle injury. He sat all the time with the resignation and fretfulness of ages on his dark velvety20 face. She drew slowly, with a wicked concentration in her eyes, her head on one side, an intense stillness over her. She was as if working the spell of some enchantment21. Suddenly she had finished. She looked at the dog, and then at her drawing, and then cried, with real grief for the dog, and at the same time with a wicked exultation22:
`My beautiful, why did they?'
She took her paper to the dog, and held it under his nose. He turned his head aside as in chagrin23 and mortification24, and she impulsively25 kissed his velvety bulging forehead.
`'s a Loolie, 's a little Loozie! Look at his portrait, darling, look at his portrait, that his mother has done of him.' She looked at her paper and chuckled. Then, kissing the dog once more, she rose and came gravely to Gudrun, offering her the paper.
It was a grotesque26 little diagram of a grotesque little animal, so wicked and so comical, a slow smile came over Gudrun's face, unconsciously. And at her side Winifred chuckled with glee, and said:
`It isn't like him, is it? He's much lovelier than that. He's so beautiful-mmm, Looloo, my sweet darling.' And she flew off to embrace the chagrined27 little dog. He looked up at her with reproachful, saturnine28 eyes, vanquished29 in his extreme agedness of being. Then she flew back to her drawing, and chuckled with satisfaction.
`It isn't like him, is it?' she said to Gudrun.
`Yes, it's very like him,' Gudrun replied.
The child treasured her drawing, carried it about with her, and showed it, with a silent embarrassment30, to everybody.
`Look,' she said, thrusting the paper into her father's hand.
`Why that's Looloo!' he exclaimed. And he looked down in surprise, hearing the almost inhuman31 chuckle15 of the child at his side.
Gerald was away from home when Gudrun first came to Shortlands. But the first morning he came back he watched for her. It was a sunny, soft morning, and he lingered in the garden paths, looking at the flowers that had come out during his absence. He was clean and fit as ever, shaven, his fair hair scrupulously32 parted at the side, bright in the sunshine, his short, fair moustache closely clipped, his eyes with their humorous kind twinkle, which was so deceptive33. He was dressed in black, his clothes sat well on his well-nourished body. Yet as he lingered before the flower-beds in the morning sunshine, there was a certain isolation34, a fear about him, as of something wanting.
Gudrun came up quickly, unseen. She was dressed in blue, with woollen yellow stockings, like the Bluecoat boys. He glanced up in surprise. Her stockings always disconcerted him, the pale-yellow stockings and the heavy heavy black shoes. Winifred, who had been playing about the garden with Mademoiselle and the dogs, came flitting towards Gudrun. The child wore a dress of black-and-white stripes. Her hair was rather short, cut round and hanging level in her neck.
`We're going to do Bismarck, aren't we?' she said, linking her hand through Gudrun's arm.
`Yes, we're going to do Bismarck. Do you want to?'
`Oh yes--oh I do! I want most awfully35 to do Bismarck. He looks so splendid this morning, so fierce. He's almost as big as a lion.' And the child chuckled sardonically36 at her own hyperbole. `He's a real king, he really is.'
`Bon jour, Mademoiselle,' said the little French governess, wavering up with a slight bow, a bow of the sort that Gudrun loathed37, insolent38.
`Winifred veut tant faire le portrait de Bismarck--! Oh, mais toute la matinee--"We will do Bismarck this morning!"--Bismarck, Bismarck, toujours Bismarck! C'est un lapin, n'est-ce pas, mademoiselle?'
`Oui, c'est un grand lapin blanc et noir. Vous ne l'avez pas vu?' said Gudrun in her good, but rather heavy French.
`Non, mademoiselle, Winifred n'a jamais voulu me le faire voir. Tant de fois je le lui ai demande, "Qu'est ce donc que ce Bismarck, Winifred?" Mais elle n'a pas voulu me le dire39. Son Bismarck, c'etait un mystere.'
`Oui, c'est un mystere, vraiment un mystere! Miss Brangwen, say that Bismarck is a mystery,' cried Winifred.
`Bismarck, is a mystery, Bismarck, c'est un mystere, der Bismarck, er ist ein Wunder,' said Gudrun, in mocking incantation.
`Ja, er ist ein Wunder,' repeated Winifred, with odd seriousness, under which lay a wicked chuckle.
`Ist er auch ein Wunder?' came the slightly insolent sneering40 of Mademoiselle.
`Doch!' said Winifred briefly41, indifferent.
`Doch ist er nicht ein Konig. Beesmarck, he was not a king, Winifred, as you have said. He was only--il n'etait que chancelier.'
`Qu'est ce qu'un chancelier?' said Winifred, with slightly contemptuous indifference.
`A chancelier is a chancellor42, and a chancellor is, I believe, a sort of judge,' said Gerald coming up and shaking hands with Gudrun. `You'll have made a song of Bismarck soon,' said he.
Mademoiselle waited, and discreetly43 made her inclination44, and her greeting.
`So they wouldn't let you see Bismarck, Mademoiselle?' he said.
`Non, Monsieur.'
`Ay, very mean of them. What are you going to do to him, Miss Brangwen? I want him sent to the kitchen and cooked.'
`Oh no,' cried Winifred.
`We're going to draw him,' said Gudrun.
`Draw him and quarter him and dish him up,' he said, being purposely fatuous45.
`Oh no,' cried Winifred with emphasis, chuckling.
Gudrun detected the tang of mockery in him, and she looked up and smiled into his face. He felt his nerves caressed46. Their eyes met in knowledge.
`How do you like Shortlands?' he asked.
`Oh, very much,' she said, with nonchalance47.
`Glad you do. Have you noticed these flowers?'
He led her along the path. She followed intently. Winifred came, and the governess lingered in the rear. They stopped before some veined salpiglossis flowers.
`Aren't they wonderful?' she cried, looking at them absorbedly. Strange how her reverential, almost ecstatic admiration48 of the flowers caressed his nerves. She stooped down, and touched the trumpets49, with infinitely51 fine and delicate-touching52 finger-tips. It filled him with ease to see her. When she rose, her eyes, hot with the beauty of the flowers, looked into his.
`What are they?' she asked.
`Sort of petunia53, I suppose,' he answered. `I don't really know them.'
`They are quite strangers to me,' she said.
They stood together in a false intimacy54, a nervous contact. And he was in love with her.
She was aware of Mademoiselle standing55 near, like a little French beetle56, observant and calculating. She moved away with Winifred, saying they would go to find Bismarck.
Gerald watched them go, looking all the while at the soft, full, still body of Gudrun, in its silky cashmere. How silky and rich and soft her body must be. An excess of appreciation57 came over his mind, she was the alldesirable, the all-beautiful. He wanted only to come to her, nothing more. He was only this, this being that should come to her, and be given to her.
At the same time he was finely and acutely aware of Mademoiselle's neat, brittle58 finality of form. She was like some elegant beetle with thin ankles, perched on her high heels, her glossy59 black dress perfectly60 correct, her dark hair done high and admirably. How repulsive61 her completeness and her finality was! He loathed her.
Yet he did admire her. She was perfectly correct. And it did rather annoy him, that Gudrun came dressed in startling colours, like a macaw, when the family was in mourning. Like a macaw she was! He watched the lingering way she took her feet from the ground. And her ankles were pale yellow, and her dress a deep blue. Yet it pleased him. It pleased him very much. He felt the challenge in her very attire--she challenged the whole world. And he smiled as to the note of a trumpet50.
Gudrun and Winifred went through the house to the back, where were the stables and the out-buildings. Everywhere was still and deserted62. Mr Crich had gone out for a short drive, the stableman had just led round Gerald's horse. The two girls went to the hutch that stood in a corner, and looked at the great black-and-white rabbit.
`Isn't he beautiful! Oh, do look at him listening! Doesn't he look silly!' she laughed quickly, then added `Oh, do let's do him listening, do let us, he listens with so much of himself;--don't you darling Bismarck?'
`Can we take him out?' said Gudrun.
`He's very strong. He really is extremely strong.' She looked at Gudrun, her head on one side, in odd calculating mistrust.
`But we'll try, shall we?'
`Yes, if you like. But he's a fearful kicker!'
They took the key to unlock the door. The rabbit exploded in a wild rush round the hutch.
`He scratches most awfully sometimes,' cried Winifred in excitement. `Oh do look at him, isn't he wonderful!' The rabbit tore round the hutch in a hurry. `Bismarck!' cried the child, in rousing excitement. `How dreadful you are! You are beastly.' Winifred looked up at Gudrun with some misgiving63 in her wild excitement. Gudrun smiled sardonically with her mouth. Winifred made a strange crooning noise of unaccountable excitement. `Now he's still!' she cried, seeing the rabbit settled down in a far corner of the hutch. `Shall we take him now?' she whispered excitedly, mysteriously, looking up at Gudrun and edging very close. `Shall we get him now?--' she chuckled wickedly to herself.
They unlocked the door of the hutch. Gudrun thrust in her arm and seized the great, lusty rabbit as it crouched64 still, she grasped its long ears. It set its four feet flat, and thrust back. There was a long scraping sound as it was hauled forward, and in another instant it was in mid-air, lunging wildly, its body flying like a spring coiled and released, as it lashed65 out, suspended from the ears. Gudrun held the black-and-white tempest at arms' length, averting66 her face. But the rabbit was magically strong, it was all she could do to keep her grasp. She almost lost her presence of mind.
`Bismarck, Bismarck, you are behaving terribly,' said Winifred in a rather frightened voice, `Oh, do put him down, he's beastly.'
Gudrun stood for a moment astounded67 by the thunder-storm that had sprung into being in her grip. Then her colour came up, a heavy rage came over her like a cloud. She stood shaken as a house in a storm, and utterly68 overcome. Her heart was arrested with fury at the mindlessness and the bestial69 stupidity of this struggle, her wrists were badly scored by the claws of the beast, a heavy cruelty welled up in her.
Gerald came round as she was trying to capture the flying rabbit under her arm. He saw, with subtle recognition, her sullen70 passion of cruelty.
`You should let one of the men do that for you,' he said hurrying up.
`Oh, he's so horrid71!' cried Winifred, almost frantic72.
He held out his nervous, sinewy73 hand and took the rabbit by the ears, from Gudrun.
`It's most fearfully strong,' she cried, in a high voice, like the crying a seagull, strange and vindictive74.
The rabbit made itself into a ball in the air, and lashed out, flinging itself into a bow. It really seemed demoniacal. Gudrun saw Gerald's body tighten75, saw a sharp blindness come into his eyes.
`I know these beggars of old,' he said.
The long, demon-like beast lashed out again, spread on the air as if it were flying, looking something like a dragon, then closing up again, inconceivably powerful and explosive. The man's body, strung to its efforts, vibrated strongly. Then a sudden sharp, white-edged wrath76 came up in him. Swift as lightning he drew back and brought his free hand down like a hawk77 on the neck of the rabbit. Simultaneously78, there came the unearthly abhorrent79 scream of a rabbit in the fear of death. It made one immense writhe80, tore his wrists and his sleeves in a final convulsion, all its belly81 flashed white in a whirlwind of paws, and then he had slung82 it round and had it under his arm, fast. It cowered83 and skulked84. His face was gleaming with a smile.
`You wouldn't think there was all that force in a rabbit,' he said, looking at Gudrun. And he saw her eyes black as night in her pallid85 face, she looked almost unearthly. The scream of the rabbit, after the violent tussle86, seemed to have torn the veil of her consciousness. He looked at her, and the whitish, electric gleam in his face intensified87.
`I don't really like him,' Winifred was crooning. `I don't care for him as I do for Loozie. He's hateful really.'
A smile twisted Gudrun's face, as she recovered. She knew she was revealed. `Don't they make the most fearful noise when they scream?' she cried, the high note in her voice, like a sea-gull's cry.
`Abominable,' he said.
`He shouldn't be so silly when he has to be taken out,' Winifred was saying, putting out her hand and touching the rabbit tentatively, as it skulked under his arm, motionless as if it were dead.
`He's not dead, is he Gerald?' she asked.
`No, he ought to be,' he said.
`Yes, he ought!' cried the child, with a sudden flush of amusement. And she touched the rabbit with more confidence. `His heart is beating so fast. Isn't he funny? He really is.'
`Where do you want him?' asked Gerald.
`In the little green court,' she said.
Gudrun looked at Gerald with strange, darkened eyes, strained with underworld knowledge, almost supplicating88, like those of a creature which is at his mercy, yet which is his ultimate victor. He did not know what to say to her. He felt the mutual89 hellish recognition. And he felt he ought to say something, to cover it. He had the power of lightning in his nerves, she seemed like a soft recipient90 of his magical, hideous91 white fire. He was unconfident, he had qualms92 of fear.
`Did he hurt you?' he asked.
`No,' she said.
`He's an insensible beast,' he said, turning his face away.
They came to the little court, which was shut in by old red walls in whose crevices93 wall-flowers were growing. The grass was soft and fine and old, a level floor carpeting the court, the sky was blue overhead. Gerald tossed the rabbit down. It crouched still and would not move. Gudrun watched it with faint horror.
`Why doesn't it move?' she cried.
`It's skulking,' he said.
She looked up at him, and a slight sinister94 smile contracted her white face.
`Isn't it a fool!' she cried. `Isn't it a sickening fool?' The vindictive mockery in her voice made his brain quiver. Glancing up at him, into his eyes, she revealed again the mocking, white-cruel recognition. There was a league between them, abhorrent to them both. They were implicated95 with each other in abhorrent mysteries.
`How many scratches have you?' he asked, showing his hard forearm, white and hard and torn in red gashes96.
`How really vile97!' she cried, flushing with a sinister vision. `Mine is nothing.'
She lifted her arm and showed a deep red score down the silken white flesh.
`What a devil!' he exclaimed. But it was as if he had had knowledge of her in the long red rent of her forearm, so silken and soft. He did not want to touch her. He would have to make himself touch her, deliberately98. The long, shallow red rip seemed torn across his own brain, tearing the surface of his ultimate consciousness, letting through the forever unconscious, unthinkable red ether of the beyond, the obscene beyond.
`It doesn't hurt you very much, does it?' he asked, solicitous99.
`Not at all,' she cried.
And suddenly the rabbit, which had been crouching100 as if it were a flower, so still and soft, suddenly burst into life. Round and round the court it went, as if shot from a gun, round and round like a furry101 meteorite102, in a tense hard circle that seemed to bind103 their brains. They all stood in amazement104, smiling uncannily, as if the rabbit were obeying some unknown incantation. Round and round it flew, on the grass under the old red walls like a storm.
And then quite suddenly it settled down, hobbled among the grass, and sat considering, its nose twitching105 like a bit of fluff in the wind. After having considered for a few minutes, a soft bunch with a black, open eye, which perhaps was looking at them, perhaps was not, it hobbled calmly forward and began to nibble106 the grass with that mean motion of a rabbit's quick eating.
`It's mad,' said Gudrun. `It is most decidedly mad.'
He laughed.
`The question is,' he said, `what is madness? I don't suppose it is rabbitmad.'
`Don't you think it is?' she asked.
`No. That's what it is to be a rabbit.'
There was a queer, faint, obscene smile over his face. She looked at him and saw him, and knew that he was initiate107 as she was initiate. This thwarted108 her, and contravened109 her, for the moment.
`God be praised we aren't rabbits,' she said, in a high, shrill110 voice.
The smile intensified a little, on his face.
`Not rabbits?' he said, looking at her fixedly111.
Slowly her face relaxed into a smile of obscene recognition.
`Ah Gerald,' she said, in a strong, slow, almost man-like way. `--All that, and more.' Her eyes looked up at him with shocking nonchalance.
He felt again as if she had torn him across the breast, dully, finally. He turned aside.
`Eat, eat my darling!' Winifred was softly conjuring112 the rabbit, and creeping forward to touch it. It hobbled away from her. `Let its mother stroke its fur then, darling, because it is so mysterious--'
戈珍深知，到肖特兰兹去是件至关紧要的事。她知道这等于接受了杰拉德·克里奇的爱。尽管她不喜欢这样，可她知道她应该继续下去。她痛苦地回忆起那一个耳光和吻，含糊其词地自己问自己，“归根结蒂，这算什么？一个吻是什么？一记耳光是什么意思？那不过是个偶然的现象，很快就消失了。我可以到肖特兰兹去一会儿，在离开这儿之前看看它是什么样子就行了。”她有一种无法满足好奇心，什么都想知道。
她也想知道温妮弗莱德到底是个什么样子。那天听到这孩子在汽船上的叫声，她就感到与她有了某种神秘的联系。
戈珍同她父亲在书房里谈着话，父亲就派人去叫女儿来。
不一会儿女儿就在法国女教师的陪伴下来了。
“温妮，这位是布朗温小姐，她将帮助你学绘画、塑造小动物。”父亲说。
孩子很有兴趣地看了戈珍一会儿，然后走上前来，扭着头把手伸了过来，显得很拘谨，十分镇定、冷漠。
“你好？”孩子头也不抬地说。
“你好。”戈珍说。
说完，温妮站在一边，戈珍与法国教师相会。
“今天天气很好。”法国女教师愉快地说。
“很好。”戈珍说。
温妮弗莱德在远处打量着这边。她似乎感到很有趣儿，但有点拿不准这位新来的人会是什么样的人。她见过不少生客，但没有几个是她真正了解的。这位法国女教师算不了什么，这孩子还可以跟她平静相处，承认她的小小权威，但对她不无轻蔑，尽管服从她，心里仍然很傲，拿她并不当一回事。
“温妮弗莱德，”父亲说，“布朗温小姐来咱家你不高兴吗？她用木头和泥雕塑的小动物和小鸟伦敦的人都称赞，他们还在报纸上写文章赞扬她呢。”
温妮弗莱德微微笑了。
“谁告诉你的，爸爸？”她问。
“谁告诉我的？赫麦妮告诉我的，卢伯特·伯金也说起过。”
“你认识他们？”温妮弗莱德有点挑战似地问戈珍。
“认识，”戈珍说。
温妮弗莱德有点松了口气。她本来就是把戈珍当作仆人看的，她们之间没什么友谊可讲。她很高兴，她有了这么多比她地位低下的人，她尽可以以良好的心情容忍她们。
戈珍很平静。她也没把这些事看得很重。一个新的场合对她来说是很新奇的，可温妮弗莱德这孩子却那么不讨人喜欢，那么损，她永远也不会合群。戈珍喜欢她，迷上了她。第一次会面就这么不光彩，这么尴尬地结束了，无论是温妮弗莱德还是她的女教师都不那么通情达理。
不久，她们就在一个虚幻的世界中相聚了。温妮弗莱德不怎么注意别人，除非他们象她一样顽皮并有点儿损。她只喜欢娱乐，她生活中严肃的“人”是她喜爱的小动物。对那些小动物她慷慨地施舍着自己的怜悯心，真有点好笑。对人间其它的事她感到不耐烦，无所谓。
她有一头小狮子狗，起名儿鲁鲁，她可喜欢鲁鲁了。
“咱们画画鲁鲁吧，”戈珍说，“看看我们能不能画出它的乖样儿，好吗？”
“亲爱的！”温妮弗莱德跑过去，有点忧郁地坐下，吻着鲁鲁凸出的额头说：“小亲亲，你让我们画你吗？让妈妈画张画儿吧，啊？”说完她高兴地扑哧一笑，转身对戈珍说：“哦，画吧！”
她们过去取来铅笔和纸准备画了。
“太漂亮了，”温妮弗莱德搂着小狗说，“妈妈为他画画儿时他安安静静地坐着。”小狗儿大大的眼睛中露出忧郁、无可奈何的神情。她热烈地吻着小狗说：“不知道我的画儿作出来是什么样，肯定不好看。”
她边画边吃吃地笑，不时大叫：
“啊，亲爱的，你太漂亮了！”
她笑着跑过去忏悔地抱住小狗，似乎她伤害了它。小狗黑丝绒般的脸上挂着岁月留下的无可奈何与烦恼的表情。温妮慢慢地画着，目光很专注地看着狗，头偏向一边，全神贯注地画着，她似乎是在画着什么咒符。她画完了，看看狗，再看看自己的画儿，然后突然松口气兴奋淘气地大叫：
“我的美人儿，为什么这么美？”
她拿着画纸走向小狗，把画儿放在它鼻子底下。小狗似乎懊恼屈辱地把头扭向一边，温妮竟冲动地吻它那黑丝绒般凸出的前额。
“好鲁鲁，小鲁鲁！看看这幅画儿，亲爱的，看看吧，这是妈妈画的呀。”她看看画，又吃吃地笑了起来。她又吻吻小狗，然后站起身庄重地走到戈珍面前把画儿交给她。
这是一张画有一头奇怪的小动物的荒诞画儿，很淘气又很有喜剧味儿，戈珍看着画儿脸上不由得浮上一丝笑意。温妮弗莱德在她身边吃吃笑道：
“不象它，对吗？它比画儿上的它要可爱得多。它太漂亮了，呣，鲁鲁，我可爱的达令。”说着她反奔过去拥抱那懊恼的小狗，它抬起一双不满、忧郁的眼睛看看她，任她去抱。然后她又跑回到图画边上，满意地笑道：
“不象它，是吗？”她问戈珍。
“象，很象。”戈珍说。
这孩子很珍惜这幅画儿，带着它，有点不好意思地向别人展示。
“看，”她说着把图画送到爸爸眼前。
“这不是鲁鲁吗？！”他叫着。他吃惊地看着图，听到身边女儿在笑。
戈珍第一次来肖特兰兹时杰拉德不在家。
他回来的那天早晨就寻找她。那天早晨阳光和煦，他留连在花园小径上，观赏着他离家后盛开的鲜花。他仍象原先一样整洁、健康，脸刮得很干净，淡黄色的头发仔细地梳向一边，在阳光下闪闪发光。他漂亮的上髭修剪得很整齐，眼睛里闪烁着温和但不可靠的光芒。他身着黑衣，衣服穿在他健壮的身体上很合体。他在花坛前徘徊，阳光下他显得有点孤单，似乎因为缺少什么而感到害怕。
戈珍快步走来，无声无息地出现在园子中。她身着蓝衣和黄色的袜子，有点象年轻的警察。看到她，他吃了一惊。她的长袜总让他感到窘迫：浅黄色的袜子配黑鞋子，真是岂有此理。温妮弗莱德此时正在园子中同法国女教师牵着狗玩，见到戈珍就飞跑过去。这孩子身穿黑白相间的条状衣服，齐耳短发剪成了圆型。
“咱们画俾斯麦①吧，好吗？”她说着挽住戈珍的胳膊。
①俾斯麦（１８１５—１８９８），德国第一任首相，有“铁血宰相”之称。在这里，“俾斯麦”是一只兔子的外号。
“好，我们就画俾斯麦，你喜欢？”
“是的，我喜欢！我非常想画俾斯麦。今天早晨我发现它非常神气，非常残忍。它几乎象一头狮子那么大。”说着她为自己的夸张笑了起来。“它是个真正的国王，真的。”
“你好，”矮小的法国女教师微微鞠个躬向戈珍问好，戈珍对这种鞠躬最讨厌。
“温妮弗莱德很想画俾斯麦！哦，整个早上她都在叫：‘今天上午我们画俾斯麦吧！’俾斯麦，俾斯麦，就是这个俾斯麦！它是一只兔子，对吗，小姐？”
“对，是一只黑白两色的花兔子。你见过它吗？”戈珍说一口好听的法语。
“没有，小姐。温妮弗莱德从没想让我见它。好几次我问它‘温妮弗莱德，俾斯麦是什么东西？’可她就是不告诉我。
就这样，俾斯麦成了一个秘密。”
“它的确是个秘密！布朗温小姐说俾斯麦是个秘密。”温妮弗莱德叫道。
“俾斯麦是个秘密，俾斯麦是个秘密，俾斯麦是个奇迹，”
戈珍用英语、法语和德语念咒般地说。
“对，就是一个奇迹，”温妮弗莱德的话音出奇得严肃，可掩饰不住淘气的窃笑。
“是奇迹吗？”女教师有点傲气十足地讽刺说。
“是的！”温妮弗莱德毫不在乎地说。
“可他不象温妮弗莱德说的那样是国王。俾斯麦不是国王，温妮弗莱德。他不过——不过是个宰相罢了。”
“宰相是什么？”温妮弗莱德很看不起女教师，爱搭不理地说。
“宰相就是宰相，宰相就是，我相信，是一个法官，”杰拉德说着走上来同戈珍握手。“你很快就可以编一首关于俾斯麦的歌曲。”他说。
法国女教师等待着，谨慎地同他打个招呼。
“她们不让你看俾斯麦，是吗？”他问女教师。
“是的，先生。”
“哦，她们可真下作。布朗温小姐，你们准备拿它怎么办？
我希望把它送厨房去做菜吃。”
“不。”温妮弗莱德叫道。
“我们要画它，”戈珍说。
“拉他，撕碎他，再把他做成菜。①”杰拉德故意装傻。
①英语中“画”和“拉”是同音同形词，杰拉德以此来开玩笑。
“哦，不嘛。”温妮弗莱德笑着大叫。
戈珍不喜欢他的嘲弄口吻，她抬起头冲他笑笑。他感到自己的神经受到了抚慰，他们的双目交换了理解的目光。
“你喜欢肖特兰兹吗？”他问。
“哦，太喜欢了。”戈珍漠然地说。
“这太让我高兴了。你有没有注意这些花儿？”
他带她走上小径，她专心致致地跟在他身后走着，随后温妮弗莱德也跟了上来，法国女教师在最后面磨磨蹭蹭地跟着走。他们在四下里蔓延着的喇叭舌草前停住了脚步。
“这太漂亮了！”戈珍着了迷似地看着花儿大叫。她对花草那种激情的崇拜奇怪地抚慰着他的神经。说着她弯下腰用纤细的手指优雅地抚摸着喇叭花儿。看到她这样爱花儿，他感到很惬意。当她直起腰，她那双花一样美丽的大眼睛火辣辣地看着他。
“这是什么花儿？”她问。
“牵牛花一类的吧，我想是。”他说，“我并不太懂。”
“这种花儿对我来说太陌生了。”她说。
他们假作亲昵地站在一起，心里都很紧张。他是爱她的。
她注意到法国女教师就站在附近，象一只法国甲虫一样观察着、算计着什么。她带温妮弗莱德走开了，说是去找俾斯麦。
杰拉德目送她们远去，目不转睛地看着戈珍那柔韧，娴静的体态，丰满的上身穿着绸开士米外套。她的身体一定是丰腴、光滑、柔软的。他太欣赏她了，她是那么令人渴望，那么美。他只是想接近她，只想这样，接近她，把自己给她。
同时他敏感地注意到了法国女教师那衣着整洁、脆弱的身姿。她象一种高傲、长着细腿的甲虫高高地站立着，她闪光的黑衣十分合时宜，黑发做得很高、很令人羡慕。她那种完美的样子多么令人生厌！他讨厌她。
可他的确崇拜她。她十分合时宜。令他恼火的是，当克里奇家人还在丧期时，戈珍竟身穿鲜艳的衣服来了，简直象一只鳱鹯！他盯着她抬腿离开地面，她的腕踝处露出浅黄色的袜子，她的衣服是深蓝色的。可他又不禁感到欣喜，很欣喜。他感到她的衣着是一种挑战——对整个世界的挑战。于是他看着喇叭花笑了。
戈珍和温妮弗莱德从屋中穿过来到后院，那儿有马厩和仓库，四下里一片寂静，荒凉。克里奇先生驾车出去了，马夫正在为杰拉德遛马。两个姑娘走到墙角里的一间小棚子那儿去看那只黑白花兔。
“太漂亮了！看它在听什么呢！它显得多傻呀！”她笑道：“我们就画它听声音的样子吧，它听得多认真呀，是吗，亲爱的俾斯麦？”
“我们可以把它弄出来吗？”戈珍问。
“它太强壮了。它真的十分有劲儿。”她偏着头，不信任地打量着戈珍说。
“但我们可以试试，不行吗？”
“可以，你愿意就试试吧。不过它踢人可疼了。”
她们取来钥匙开门。兔子开始在棚子里蹦跳着打起转来。
“它有时抓人抓得可厉害了，”温妮弗莱德激动地叫道，“快看看它，多么奇妙啊！”兔子在里面慌慌张张地窜来窜去。
“俾斯麦！”这孩子激动地大叫：“你多么可怕啊！你象个野兽。”温妮弗莱德有点恐惧地抬头看看戈珍。戈珍的嘴角上挂着嘲讽的笑。温妮发出无比激动的怪叫声。“它安静了！”看到兔子在远处的一个角落里蹲着她叫了起来。“咱们现在就把它弄出来不好吗？”她怪模怪样地看着戈珍喃言着，慢慢凑了过来。
“咱们这就把它弄出来吧？”她说着调皮地笑了。
她们打开了小棚子的门。那只强壮的大兔子安静地蜷伏着，戈珍伸进胳膊去抓住了它的长耳朵。兔子张开爪子扒住地面，身体向后缩着。它被戈珍往外拖着，爪子抓着地发出刺耳的声响。它被举到空中，身体剧烈地抽动着，就象秋千一样荡着。最后戈珍终于把它摔了出来。戈珍用双臂抱住它，忙扭过脸去躲避它的抓挠。可这兔子强壮得出奇，她竭尽全力才能抓住它。在这场搏斗中她几乎失去了意识。
“俾斯麦，俾斯麦，你太可怕了，”温妮弗莱德有点害怕地说，“快把它放下，它是一头野兽。”
戈珍被她怀抱中这头暴风雨般的东西惊呆了。她绯红了脸，怒火中烧。她颤抖着，就象暴风雨中的小屋，完全被征服了。这场全无理智、愚蠢的搏斗令她感到恼火，她的手腕也被这只野兽的爪子抓破了，她的心变残酷了。
正当她试图抱住要从她怀中窜开的兔子时，杰拉德来了。
他敏感地看出她心中憋着火儿。
“你应该叫个仆人来替你做这件事。”他说着急忙赶上前来。
“哦，它太可怕了！”温妮弗莱德有点发疯地叫道。
他强壮的手颤抖着揪住兔子耳朵把它从戈珍手中抱了出来。
“它太强壮了，”戈珍高声叫着，象一只海鸥那样，声音奇怪，一心要报复。
兔子全身缩成一团窜了出去，身体在空中形成弯弓型。它真有点魔气。戈珍看到，杰拉德浑身紧张，眼中一片空白。
“我早就了解这类叫花子。”他说。
那魔鬼般的野兽又一次跳到空中，看上去就象一条龙在飞舞，难以想象地强壮、具有爆发力。然后它又停了下来。杰拉德全身憋足了力气，剧烈地颤抖着。突然他感到一股怒火烧遍全身，闪电般地用一只手魔爪一样地抓住兔子的脖子。立时兔子发出一声死亡般可怕的尖叫。它剧烈地扭动着全身，抽搐着撕扯杰拉德的手腕和袖子，四爪旋风般舞动着，露出白白的肚皮。杰拉德揪着它旋了一圈，然后把它紧紧夹在腋下。
它屈服了，老实了。杰拉德脸上露出了微笑。
“你不要以为一只兔子有多大的力气。”他看着戈珍说。他看到，戈珍苍白的脸上嵌着一双夜一样黑的眼睛，她看上去有几分仙气。一阵搏斗后兔子发出的尖叫声似乎打破了她的意识，他看着她，脸上炽烈的光芒凝聚了起来。
“我并不真喜欢它，”温妮弗莱德嘟哝着。“我可不象关心鲁鲁一样关心它。它真可恶。”
戈珍清醒过来以后尴尬地笑了。她知道自己露馅儿了。
“难道兔子尖叫时都那么可怕吗？”她叫着，尖尖的声音很象海鸥的叫声。
“很可怕。”他说。
“反正它是要让人拖出来的，它干吗那么傻乎乎地不出来？”温妮弗莱德试探地摸着兔子说。兔子老老实实地让他夹在腋下，死了一样地纹丝不动。
“它没死吧，杰拉德？”她问。
“没有，它应该活。”
“对，它应该！”温妮突然很开心地叫。然后她更有信心地摸着兔子说：“它的心跳得很快，它多好玩呀，真的。”
“你们想带它去哪儿？”杰拉德问。
“到那个绿色的小院儿里去。”她说。
戈珍好奇地打量着杰拉德，她的目光黯淡了，她以某种阴间的知识感知着杰拉德，几乎象只动物在乞求他，可这动物最终会战胜他。他不知对她说什么好。他感到他们双方相互象魔鬼一样认识了。他感到他应该说些什么来掩盖这一事实。他有力量去点燃自己的神经，而她就象一只柔软的接受器，接收他炽烈的火焰。他并不那么自信，时时感到害怕。
“它伤着你了吗？”他问。
“没有。”她说。
“它是一只没有理智的野兽。”他扭过头去说。
他们来到小院跟前。小院红砖围墙的裂缝中开着黄色的草花儿。院子里长着柔软的青草，小院地面平整，上空是一片蓝瓦瓦的春天。杰拉德把兔子一抖放到草里去。它静静地蜷缩着，根本就不动窝儿。戈珍有点恐惧地看着它。
“它怎么不动啊？”她叫着。
“它服气了呗。”他说。
她冲他笑笑，那种不无善意的笑容使她苍白的脸都缩紧了。
“它可真是个傻瓜！”她叫道，“一个令人厌恶的傻瓜！”她话语中报复的口吻令杰拉德发抖。她抬头看看他的眼睛，暴露了她嘲弄、残酷的内心。他们之间结成了某种同盟，这种心照不宣的同盟令他们害怕。他们两人就这样卷入了共同的神秘之中。
“它抓了你几下？”他说着伸出自己被抓破的白皙但结实的前臂。
“真可恶啊！”她目光畏惧，红着脸说：“我的手没事。”
她抬起手，光滑白嫩的手上有一道深深的红疤。
“真是个魔鬼！”他吼道。他似乎从她光滑白嫩的手臂上那长长的红疤中认识了她。他并不想抚摸她，但他要有意识地迫使自己去抚摸她。那长长的红疤似乎从他的头脑中划过，撕破了他意识的表面，让永恒的无意识——难以想象的彼岸的红色气息——猥亵侵入。
“伤得不厉害吧？”他关切地问。
“没什么。”她说。
突然那只象娴静的小花儿般蜷缩着的兔子还阳了。它象出膛的子弹跳将出去，在院子中一圈又一圈地跑着，象一颗流星一样转着圈子，令人们眼花缭乱。他们都呆呆地看着兔子，莫名其妙地笑着。那兔子似乎被什么咒语驱使着，象一阵暴风雨在旧红墙下旋转飞奔着。
突然，它停下在草丛中蹒跚了几下，然后蹲下来思索，鼻翼歙动着就象风中飘动着的一根绒毛。它思索了片刻，除开黑眼睛有意无意地瞟了他们一眼，然后它开始静静地向前蹒跚而去，飞快地啃吃青草。
“它疯了，”戈珍说，“它绝对是疯了。”
杰拉德笑了。
“问题是，”他说，“什么叫疯？我才不信兔子会疯。”
“你不认为它是疯了吗？”她问。
“不。兔子就是这样。”
他脸上露出一幅猥亵的笑容。她看着他，知道他是进攻型的人，如同她也是进攻型的人一样。这一点令她不愉快，一时间她心里很不痛快。
“我们之所以不是兔子，这得感谢上帝。”她尖着嗓门说。
他脸上的笑容凝聚了起来。
“我们不是兔子吗？”他凝视着她。
她的表情缓和下来，有点猥亵地笑着。
“啊，杰拉德，”她象男人一样粗着嗓子缓缓地说。“都是兔子，更有甚之。”她漠然地看着他。
他似乎感到她又一次打了他一记耳光——甚至觉得她用力地撕裂了他的胸膛。他转向一边不看她。
“吃，吃，我的宝贝儿！”温妮弗莱德恳求着兔子并爬过去抚摸它。兔子蹒跚着躲开她。“让妈妈摸摸你的毛儿吧，宝贝儿，你太神秘了——”
收听单词发音 |
1
equivocated
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| v.使用模棱两可的话隐瞒真相( equivocate的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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torment
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| n.折磨；令人痛苦的东西(人)；vt.折磨；纠缠 | |
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averted
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| 防止，避免( avert的过去式和过去分词 )； 转移 | |
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indifference
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| n.不感兴趣，不关心，冷淡，不在乎 | |
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callousness
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compliant
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| adj.服从的，顺从的 | |
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7
arrogance
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| n.傲慢，自大 | |
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ironic
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| adj.讽刺的，有讽刺意味的，出乎意料的 | |
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intrigued
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| adj.好奇的，被迷住了的v.搞阴谋诡计(intrigue的过去式)；激起…的兴趣或好奇心；“intrigue”的过去式和过去分词 | |
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10
lavished
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| v.过分给予，滥施( lavish的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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hearth
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| n.壁炉炉床，壁炉地面 | |
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12
bulging
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| 膨胀； 凸出（部）； 打气； 折皱 | |
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13
drawn
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| v.拖，拉，拔出；adj.憔悴的，紧张的 | |
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14
chuckled
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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15
chuckle
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| vi.／n.轻声笑，咯咯笑 | |
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fervently
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| adv.热烈地，热情地，强烈地 | |
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17
sketched
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| v.草拟（sketch的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
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18
chuckling
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| 轻声地笑( chuckle的现在分词 ) | |
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19
penitence
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| n.忏悔，赎罪；悔过 | |
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20
velvety
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| adj. 像天鹅绒的, 轻软光滑的, 柔软的 | |
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21
enchantment
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| n.迷惑，妖术，魅力 | |
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22
exultation
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| n.狂喜，得意 | |
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23
chagrin
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| n.懊恼；气愤；委屈 | |
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24
mortification
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| n.耻辱，屈辱 | |
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25
impulsively
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| adv.冲动地 | |
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26
grotesque
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| adj.怪诞的，丑陋的；n.怪诞的图案，怪人（物） | |
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chagrined
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| adj.懊恼的，苦恼的v.使懊恼，使懊丧，使悔恨( chagrin的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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28
saturnine
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| adj.忧郁的，沉默寡言的，阴沉的，感染铅毒的 | |
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29
vanquished
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| v.征服( vanquish的过去式和过去分词 )；战胜；克服；抑制 | |
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30
embarrassment
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| n.尴尬；使人为难的人(事物)；障碍；窘迫 | |
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31
inhuman
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| adj.残忍的，不人道的，无人性的 | |
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32
scrupulously
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| adv.一丝不苟地；小心翼翼地，多顾虑地 | |
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deceptive
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| adj.骗人的，造成假象的，靠不住的 | |
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34
isolation
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| n.隔离，孤立，分解，分离 | |
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35
awfully
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| adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地 | |
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36
sardonically
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| adv.讽刺地，冷嘲地 | |
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37
loathed
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| v.憎恨，厌恶( loathe的过去式和过去分词 )；极不喜欢 | |
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38
insolent
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| adj.傲慢的，无理的 | |
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39
dire
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| adj.可怕的，悲惨的，阴惨的，极端的 | |
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40
sneering
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| 嘲笑的，轻蔑的 | |
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41
briefly
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| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
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42
chancellor
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| n.(英)大臣；法官；(德、奥)总理；大学校长 | |
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43
discreetly
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| ad.(言行)审慎地，慎重地 | |
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44
inclination
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| n.倾斜；点头；弯腰；斜坡；倾度；倾向；爱好 | |
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45
fatuous
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| adj.愚昧的；昏庸的 | |
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46
caressed
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| 爱抚或抚摸…( caress的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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47
nonchalance
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| n.冷淡，漠不关心 | |
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48
admiration
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| n.钦佩，赞美，羡慕 | |
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49
trumpets
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| 喇叭( trumpet的名词复数 )； 小号； 喇叭形物； （尤指）绽开的水仙花 | |
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50
trumpet
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| n.喇叭，喇叭声；v.吹喇叭，吹嘘 | |
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51
infinitely
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| adv.无限地，无穷地 | |
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52
touching
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| adj.动人的，使人感伤的 | |
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53
petunia
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| n.矮牵牛花 | |
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54
intimacy
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| n.熟悉，亲密，密切关系，亲昵的言行 | |
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standing
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| n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的 | |
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56
beetle
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| n.甲虫，近视眼的人 | |
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57
appreciation
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| n.评价；欣赏；感谢；领会，理解；价格上涨 | |
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58
brittle
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| adj.易碎的；脆弱的；冷淡的；(声音)尖利的 | |
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59
glossy
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| adj.平滑的；有光泽的 | |
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60
perfectly
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| adv.完美地，无可非议地，彻底地 | |
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61
repulsive
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| adj.排斥的，使人反感的 | |
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62
deserted
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| adj.荒芜的，荒废的，无人的，被遗弃的 | |
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63
misgiving
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| n.疑虑，担忧，害怕 | |
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64
crouched
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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65
lashed
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| adj.具睫毛的v.鞭打( lash的过去式和过去分词 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
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66
averting
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| 防止，避免( avert的现在分词 )； 转移 | |
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67
astounded
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| v.使震惊(astound的过去式和过去分词)；愕然；愕；惊讶 | |
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68
utterly
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| adv.完全地，绝对地 | |
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69
bestial
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| adj.残忍的；野蛮的 | |
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70
sullen
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| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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71
horrid
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| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
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72
frantic
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| adj.狂乱的，错乱的，激昂的 | |
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73
sinewy
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| adj.多腱的，强壮有力的 | |
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74
vindictive
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| adj.有报仇心的，怀恨的，惩罚的 | |
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75
tighten
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| v.(使)变紧；(使)绷紧 | |
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76
wrath
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| n.愤怒，愤慨，暴怒 | |
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77
hawk
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| n.鹰，骗子；鹰派成员 | |
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78
simultaneously
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| adv.同时发生地，同时进行地 | |
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79
abhorrent
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| adj.可恶的，可恨的，讨厌的 | |
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80
writhe
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| vt.挣扎，痛苦地扭曲；vi.扭曲，翻腾，受苦；n.翻腾，苦恼 | |
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81
belly
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| n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛 | |
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82
slung
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| 抛( sling的过去式和过去分词 )； 吊挂； 遣送； 押往 | |
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83
cowered
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| v.畏缩，抖缩( cower的过去式 ) | |
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84
skulked
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| v.潜伏，偷偷摸摸地走动，鬼鬼祟祟地活动( skulk的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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85
pallid
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| adj.苍白的，呆板的 | |
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86
tussle
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| n.&v.扭打，搏斗，争辩 | |
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87
intensified
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| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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88
supplicating
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| v.祈求，哀求，恳求( supplicate的现在分词 ) | |
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89
mutual
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| adj.相互的，彼此的；共同的，共有的 | |
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90
recipient
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| a.接受的,感受性强的 n.接受者,感受者,容器 | |
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91
hideous
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| adj.丑陋的，可憎的，可怕的，恐怖的 | |
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92
qualms
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| n.不安；内疚 | |
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93
crevices
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| n.（尤指岩石的）裂缝，缺口( crevice的名词复数 ) | |
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94
sinister
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| adj.不吉利的，凶恶的，左边的 | |
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95
implicated
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| adj.密切关联的；牵涉其中的 | |
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96
gashes
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| n.深长的切口（或伤口）( gash的名词复数 )v.划伤，割破( gash的第三人称单数 ) | |
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97
vile
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| adj.卑鄙的，可耻的，邪恶的；坏透的 | |
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98
deliberately
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| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
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99
solicitous
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| adj.热切的，挂念的 | |
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100
crouching
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| v.屈膝，蹲伏( crouch的现在分词 ) | |
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101
furry
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| adj.毛皮的；似毛皮的；毛皮制的 | |
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102
meteorite
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| n.陨石；流星 | |
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103
bind
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| vt.捆，包扎；装订；约束；使凝固；vi.变硬 | |
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104
amazement
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| n.惊奇，惊讶 | |
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105
twitching
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| n.颤搐 | |
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106
nibble
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| n.轻咬，啃；v.一点点地咬，慢慢啃，吹毛求疵 | |
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107
initiate
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| vt.开始，创始，发动；启蒙，使入门；引入 | |
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108
thwarted
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| 阻挠( thwart的过去式和过去分词 )； 使受挫折； 挫败； 横过 | |
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109
contravened
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| v.取消，违反( contravene的过去式 ) | |
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110
shrill
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| adj.尖声的；刺耳的；v尖叫 | |
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111
fixedly
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| adv.固定地；不屈地，坚定不移地 | |
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112
conjuring
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| n.魔术 | |
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