THEIR next and second attempt thereat was more deliberately1 made, though it was begun on the morning following the singular child's arrival at their home.
Him they found to be in the habit of sitting silent, his quaint2 and weird3 face set, and his eyes resting on things they did not see in the substantial world.
"His face is like the tragic4 mask of Melpomene," said Sue. "What is your name, dear? Did you tell us?"
"Little Father Time is what they always called me. It is a nickname; because I look so aged5, they say."
"And you talk so, too," said Sue tenderly. "It is strange, Jude, that these preternaturally old boys almost always come from new countries. But what were you christened?"
"I never was."
"Why was that?"
"Because, if I died in damnation, 'twould save the expense of a Christian6 funeral."
"Oh--your name is not Jude, then?" said his father with some disappointment.
The boy shook his head. "Never heerd on it."
"Of course not," said Sue quickly; "since she was hating you all the time!"
"We'll have him christened," said Jude; and privately7 to Sue: "The day we are married." Yet the advent8 of the child disturbed him.
Their position lent them shyness, and having an impression that a marriage at a superintendent9 registrar's office was more private than an ecclesiastical one, they decided10 to avoid a church this time. Both Sue and Jude together went to the office of the district to give notice: they had become such companions that they could hardly do anything of importance except in each other's company.
Jude Fawley signed the form of notice, Sue looking over his shoulder and watching his hand as it traced the words. As she read the four-square undertaking11, never before seen by her, into which her own and Jude's names were inserted, and by which that very volatile12 essence, their love for each other, was supposed to be made permanent, her face seemed to grow painfully apprehensive13. "Names and Surnames of the Parties"--(they were to be parties now, not lovers, she thought). "Condition"--(a horrid14 idea)--"Rank or Occupation"--"Age"--"Dwelling at"--"Length of Residence"--"Church or Building in which the Marriage is to be solemnized"-- "District and County in which the Parties respectively dwell."
"It spoils the sentiment, doesn't it!" she said on their way home. "It seems making a more sordid15 business of it even than signing the contract in a vestry. There is a little poetry in a church. But we'll try to get through with it, dearest, now."
"We will. 'For what man is he that hath betrothed16 a wife and hath not taken her? Let him go and return unto his house, lest he die in the battle, and another man take her.' So said the Jewish law-giver."
"How you know the Scriptures17, Jude! You really ought to have been a parson. I can only quote profane18 writers!"
During the interval19 before the issuing of the certificate Sue, in her housekeeping errands, sometimes walked past the office, and furtively20 glancing in saw affixed21 to the wall the notice of the purposed clinch22 to their union. She could not bear its aspect. Coming after her previous experience of matrimony, all the romance of their attachment23 seemed to be starved away by placing her present case in the same category. She was usually leading little Father Time by the hand, and fancied that people thought him hers, and regarded the intended ceremony as the patching up of an old error.
Meanwhile Jude decided to link his present with his past in some slight degree by inviting24 to the wedding the only person remaining on earth who was associated with his early life at Marygreen--the aged widow Mrs. Edlin, who had been his great-aunt's friend and nurse in her last illness. He hardly expected that she would come; but she did, bringing singular presents, in the form of apples, jam, brass25 snuffers, an ancient pewter dish, a warming-pan, and an enormous bag of goose feathers towards a bed. She was allotted26 the spare room in Jude's house, whither she retired27 early, and where they could hear her through the ceiling below, honestly saying the Lord's Prayer in a loud voice, as the Rubric directed.
As, however, she could not sleep, and discovered that Sue and Jude were still sitting up--it being in fact only ten o'clock-- she dressed herself again and came down, and they all sat by the fire till a late hour--Father Time included; though, as he never spoke28, they were hardly conscious of him.
"Well, I bain't set against marrying as your great-aunt was," said the widow. "And I hope 'twill be a jocund29 wedding for ye in all respects this time. Nobody can hope it more, knowing what I do of your families, which is more, I suppose, than anybody else now living. For they have been unlucky that way, God knows."
Sue breathed uneasily.
"They was always good-hearted people, too--wouldn't kill a fly if they knowed it," continued the wedding guest. "But things happened to thwart30 'em, and if everything wasn't vitty they were upset. No doubt that's how he that the tale is told of came to do what 'a did--if he WERE one of your family."
"What was that?" said Jude.
"Well--that tale, ye know; he that was gibbeted just on the brow of the hill by the Brown House--not far from the milestone31 between Marygreen and Alfredston, where the other road branches off. But Lord, 'twas in my grandfather's time; and it medn' have been one of your folk at all."
"I know where the gibbet is said to have stood, very well," murmured Jude. "But I never heard of this. What--did this man--my ancestor and Sue's-- kill his wife?"
"'Twer not that exactly. She ran away from him, with their child, to her friends; and while she was there the child died. He wanted the body, to bury it where his people lay, but she wouldn't give it up. Her husband then came in the night with a cart, and broke into the house to steal the coffin33 away; but he was catched, and being obstinate34, wouldn't tell what he broke in for. They brought it in burglary, and that's why he was hanged and gibbeted on Brown House Hill. His wife went mad after he was dead. But it medn't be true that he belonged to ye more than to me."
A small slow voice rose from the shade of the fireside, as if out of the earth: "If I was you, Mother, I wouldn't marry Father!" It came from little Time, and they started, for they had forgotten him.
"Oh, it is only a tale," said Sue cheeringly.
After this exhilarating tradition from the widow on the eve of the solemnization they rose, and, wishing their guest good-night, retired.
The next morning Sue, whose nervousness intensified35 with the hours, took Jude privately into the sitting-room36 before starting. "Jude, I want you to kiss me, as a lover, incorporeally," she said, tremulously nestling up to him, with damp lashes37. "It won't be ever like this any more, will it! I wish we hadn't begun the business. But I suppose we must go on. How horrid that story was last night! It spoilt my thoughts of to-day. It makes me feel as if a tragic doom38 overhung our family, as it did the house of Atreus."
"Or the house of Jeroboam," said the quondam theologian.
"Yes. And it seems awful temerity39 in us two to go marrying! I am going to vow40 to you in the same words I vowed41 in to my other husband, and you to me in the same as you used to your other wife; regardless of the deterrent42 lesson we were taught by those experiments!"
"If you are uneasy I am made unhappy," said he. "I had hoped you would feel quite joyful43. But if you don't, you don't. It is no use pretending. It is a dismal44 business to you, and that makes it so to me!"
"It is unpleasantly like that other morning--that's all," she murmured. "Let us go on now."
They started arm in arm for the office aforesaid, no witness accompanying them except the Widow Edlin. The day was chilly45 and dull, and a clammy fog blew through the town from "Royal-tower'd Thame." On the steps of the office there were the muddy foot-marks of people who had entered, and in the entry were damp umbrellas Within the office several persons were gathered, and our couple perceived that a marriage between a soldier and a young woman was just in progress. Sue, Jude, and the widow stood in the background while this was going on, Sue reading the notices of marriage on the wall. The room was a dreary46 place to two of their temperament47, though to its usual frequenters it doubtless seemed ordinary enough. Law-books in musty calf48 covered one wall, and elsewhere were post-office directories, and other books of reference. Papers in packets tied with red tape were pigeon-holed around, and some iron safes filled a recess49, while the bare wood floor was, like the door-step, stained by previous visitors.
The soldier was sullen50 and reluctant: the bride sad and timid; she was soon, obviously, to become a mother, and she had a black eye. Their little business was soon done, and the twain and their friends straggled out, one of the witnesses saying casually51 to Jude and Sue in passing, as if he had known them before: "See the couple just come in? Ha, ha! That fellow is just out of gaol52 this morning. She met him at the gaol gates, and brought him straight here. She's paying for everything."
Sue turned her head and saw an ill-favoured man, closely cropped, with a broad-faced, pock-marked woman on his arm, ruddy with liquor and the satisfaction of being on the brink53 of a gratified desire. They jocosely54 saluted55 the outgoing couple, and went forward in front of Jude and Sue, whose diffidence was increasing. The latter drew back and turned to her lover, her mouth shaping itself like that of a child about to give way to grief:
"Jude--I don't like it here! I wish we hadn't come! The place gives me the horrors: it seems so unnatural56 as the climax57 of our love! I wish it had been at church, if it had to be at all. It is not so vulgar there!"
"Dear little girl," said Jude. "How troubled and pale you look!"
"It must be performed here now, I suppose?"
"No--perhaps not necessarily."
He spoke to the clerk, and came back. "No--we need not marry here or anywhere, unless we like, even now," he said. "We can be married in a church, if not with the same certificate with another he'll give us, I think. Anyhow, let us go out till you are calmer, dear, and I too, and talk it over."
They went out stealthily and guiltily, as if they had committed a misdemeanour, closing the door without noise, and telling the widow, who had remained in the entry, to go home and await them; that they would call in any casual passers as witnesses, if necessary. When in the street they turned into an unfrequented side alley58 where they walked up and down as they had done long ago in the market-house at Melchester.
"Now, darling, what shall we do? We are making a mess of it, it strikes me. Still, ANYTHING that pleases you will please me."
"But Jude, dearest, I am worrying you! You wanted it to be there, didn't you?"
"Well, to tell the truth, when I got inside I felt as if I didn't care much about it. The place depressed59 me almost as much as it did you-- it was ugly. And then I thought of what you had said this morning as to whether we ought."
They walked on vaguely60, till she paused, and her little voice began anew: "It seems so weak, too, to vacillate like this! And yet how much better than to act rashly a second time.... How terrible that scene was to me! The expression in that flabby woman's face, leading her on to give herself to that gaol-bird, not for a few hours, as she would, but for a lifetime, as she must. And the other poor soul--to escape a nominal61 shame which was owing to the weakness of her character, degrading herself to the real shame of bondage62 to a tyrant63 who scorned her--a man whom to avoid for ever was her only chance of salvation64.... This is our parish church, isn't it? This is where it would have to be, if we did it in the usual way? A service or something seems to be going on."
Jude went up and looked in at the door. "Why--it is a wedding here too," he said. "Everybody seems to be on our tack65 to-day."
Sue said she supposed it was because Lent was just over, when there was always a crowd of marriages. "Let us listen," she said, "and find how it feels to us when performed in a church."
They stepped in, and entered a back seat, and watched the proceedings66 at the altar. The contracting couple appeared to belong to the well-to-do middle class, and the wedding altogether was of ordinary prettiness and interest. They could see the flowers tremble in the bride's hand, even at that distance, and could hear her mechanical murmur32 of words whose meaning her brain seemed to gather not at all under the pressure of her self-consciousness. Sue and Jude listened, and severally saw themselves in time past going through the same form of self-committal.
"It is not the same to her, poor thing, as it would be to me doing it over again with my present knowledge," Sue whispered. "You see, they are fresh to it, and take the proceedings as a matter of course. But having been awakened67 to its awful solemnity as we have, or at least as I have, by experience, and to my own too squeamish feelings perhaps sometimes, it really does seem immoral68 in me to go and undertake the same thing again with open eyes. Coming in here and seeing this has frightened me from a church wedding as much as the other did from a registry one.... We are a weak, tremulous pair, Jude, and what others may feel confident in I feel doubts of-- my being proof against the sordid conditions of a business contract again!"
Then they tried to laugh, and went on debating in whispers the object-lesson before them. And Jude said he also thought they were both too thin-skinned-- that they ought never to have been born--much less have come together for the most preposterous69 of all joint70 ventures for THEM--matrimony.
His betrothed shuddered71; and asked him earnestly if he indeed felt that they ought not to go in cold blood and sign that life-undertaking again?" It is awful if you think we have found ourselves not strong enough for it, and knowing this, are proposing to perjure72 ourselves," she said.
"I fancy I do think it--since you ask me," said Jude. "Remember I'll do it if you wish, own darling." While she hesitated he went on to confess that, though he thought they ought to be able to do it, he felt checked by the dread73 of incompetency74 just as she did-- from their peculiarities75, perhaps, because they were unlike other people. "We are horribly sensitive; that's really what's the matter with us, Sue!" he declared.
"I fancy more are like us than we think!"
"Well, I don't know. The intention of the contract is good, and right for many, no doubt; but in our case it may defeat its own ends because we are the queer sort of people we are-- folk in whom domestic ties of a forced kind snuff out cordiality and spontaneousness."
Sue still held that there was not much queer or exceptional in them: that all were so. "Everybody is getting to feel as we do. We are a little beforehand, that's all. In fifty, a hundred, years the descendants of these two will act and feel worse than we. They will see weltering humanity still more vividly76 than we do now, as
Shapes like our own selves hideously77 multiplied,
and will be afraid to reproduce them."
"What a terrible line of poetry! ... though I have felt it myself about my fellow-creatures, at morbid78 times."
Thus they murmured on, till Sue said more brightly:
"Well--the general question is not our business, and why should we plague ourselves about it? However different our reasons are we come to the same conclusion; that for us particular two, an irrevocable oath is risky79. Then, Jude, let us go home without killing80 our dream! Yes? How good you are, my friend: you give way to all my whims81!"
"They accord very much with my own."
He gave her a little kiss behind a pillar while the attention of everybody present was taken up in observing the bridal procession entering the vestry; and then they came outside the building. By the door they waited till two or three carriages, which had gone away for a while, returned, and the new husband and wife came into the open daylight. Sue sighed.
"The flowers in the bride's hand are sadly like the garland which decked the heifers of sacrifice in old times!"
"Still, Sue, it is no worse for the woman than for the man. That's what some women fail to see, and instead of protesting against the conditions they protest against the man, the other victim; just as a woman in a crowd will abuse the man who crushes against her, when he is only the helpless transmitter of the pressure put upon him."
"Yes--some are like that, instead of uniting with the man against the common enemy, coercion82." The bride and bridegroom had by this time driven off, and the two moved away with the rest of the idlers. "No--don't let's do it," she continued. "At least just now."
They reached home, and passing the window arm in arm saw the widow looking out at them. "Well," cried their guest when they entered, "I said to myself when I zeed ye coming so loving up to the door, 'They made up their minds at last, then!'"
They briefly83 hinted that they had not.
"What--and ha'n't ye really done it? Chok' it all, that I should have lived to see a good old saying like 'marry in haste and repent84 at leisure' spoiled like this by you two! 'Tis time I got back again to Marygreen-- sakes if tidden--if this is what the new notions be leading us to! Nobody thought o' being afeard o' matrimony in my time, nor of much else but a cannon-ball or empty cup-board! Why when I and my poor man were married we thought no more o't than of a game o' dibs!"
"Don't tell the child when he comes in," whispered Sue nervously85. "He'll think it has all gone on right, and it will be better that he should not be surprised and puzzled. Of course it is only put off for reconsideration. If we are happy as we are, what does it matter to anybody?"
他们对下一步，也就是第二次去办结婚手续的设想着实商量了一番，当然是在那个古怪孩子来家之后才开始的。
他们发现孩子习惯坐着不吱声，脸上老是那么一副怪里怪气、莫测高深的表情，两眼老定在他在现实世界中其实看不见的东西上。
“他的脸活像麦尔波门的悲剧面具。”苏说。“你叫什么，亲爱的？你还没告诉我们哪。”
“我叫时光小老爹，他们一直这么叫我。这是个外号；他们都说，我长得那么老气。”
“你说话也老气啊。”苏温柔地说。“裘德，这些因为早熟而显着老气的孩子差不多都是从新成立的国家那边过来的，你说怪不怪？你受没受过洗礼呀？”
“压根儿没受过洗。”
“怎么回事呢？”
“因为我早晚得死，不受洗就省了按基督徒下葬的钱啦。”
“哦，照这么说，你就不叫裘德喽？”他父亲说，带点失望的样子。
孩子摇摇头。“压根儿没听说过什么裘德。”
“当然没听说过，”苏忙着说，“因为她无时无刻不恨你呀！”
。“咱们得给他受洗。”裘德说；然后悄悄对苏说：“就在咱们结婚那天好啦。”他说是这样说，可是这孩子的光临实在叫他心里烦。
他们眼下这种状况弄得他们不好意思同人接触。他们以前在督察登记处见过人家办喜事，不像在教堂里办那么张扬；因为有这么个印象，于是他们决定这一回避开教堂。苏和裘德双双去到区登记处申请办理结婚手续——他们现在是如此情意泱洽的伴侣，可谓形影不离，所以无论什么要紧事，要办都得一块儿办。
裘德·福来在结婚登记表上签字，苏站在他身后，望着他的手一笔一划地写。她念了念那份她从未见过的四四方方的表格，上面已经填好了她自己跟裘德的姓名，原来靠了这么一张表格，他们的冷冷热热、起伏不定的爱情就可以变得天长地久呢。她神色一时显得非常不安而且痛苦。“双方姓名——（她心想他们是“双方”，不是热恋的情人）”——“生活状况”——（问得太他妈恶心啦）——“身份或职业”——“年龄”——“住址”——“居住时间”——“举行结婚仪式的教堂或场所” ——“双方各自居住的区县。”
“这太倒胃口拉，太倒胃口啦。”苏在回家的路上说。“这简直比在法衣室签婚约还作践人哪。教堂里头总还有点诗歌啊。不过咱们还是尽量想法过这道关吧，亲爱的。”
“咱们一定要过。‘谁要定了妻，尚未迎娶，他可以回家去，恐怕他阵亡，别人去娶。’犹太立法人就这么说过了。”
“你对《圣经》真是烂熟于胸啊，裘德！你真配当牧师呢。我可只能引用世俗作家的东西！”
在结婚证没发下来那段时间，苏为家务出去办事，有时路过登记处，就偷偷看一眼墙上贴的他们两个行将百年好合的通告。她实在看不下去。她从前有过结婚的经历，如今又把她放进这个框子里，他们的相亲相爱之情，纵然百般风流，也全给一笔冲销了。同时她平常都牵着时光小老爹，设想别人一定把他当成她的孩子，把这回想举行的婚礼当成弥补老错误造成的大漏子的机会。
同时裘德决定多多少少得把他的现在和过去联结起来，所以他邀了眼下唯一在世的、跟他在马利格林的童年生活有关系的人来参加他们的婚礼，这就是年迈的艾林太太，她以前既是他姑婆的朋友，又曾在她最后一次得病期间服侍过她。他并不怎么指望她来，谁知她果真来了，还带来奇奇怪怪的礼物，其中有苹果、果酱、铜蜡烛剪子、旧锡铸盘子、汤婆子和一大包填床垫的鹅毛。他们把她安置在家里的一间空屋子，她进去之后很早就歇了，诚心地按礼拜仪程高诵主祷文。
可是，她睡不着，一发现苏和裘德还没睡（实际上才十点钟），又把衣服穿好了，到楼下来。大家都坐在壁炉旁边，直到夜深，时光老爹也跟他们在一块儿，他不说话，他们简直把他这个人都忘了。
“唉，我可不像你姑婆那么反对结婚。”寡妇说。“我真盼你们俩这档子婚事，称心如意。现在活着的人，像我那么知道你们两家家底的，一个也没啦。所以也没谁再这么希望啦。这全因为你们家的人从前这方面不走运哪。”
苏的呼吸不自然起来。
“他们这些人向来是心慈面软，要是他们知道，就连个苍蝇也不愿意弄死。”参加婚礼的女客继续说着。“可什么事碰巧都跟他们作对，要是事情一不顺心，心里就乱成一团，无疑是因为这样，他才出了事，传下来这么个故事——不过他是不是你们家的人，这也难说。”
“是怎么回事？”裘德说。
“唉——这个故事，你该知道嘛；他就是在棕房子旁边山头上上了绞架的，离马利格林到阿尔夫瑞顿路上那块里程碑不远，还有条路从那儿岔出去。不过，老天爷啊，这还是我爷爷那会儿的事儿呢；再说他也不一定就是你们家的人。”
“绞架立的地方，我倒知道。”裘德咕哝着。“不过这件事儿，我可压根儿没听说过。那个人——我和苏祖宗辈的——干了什么，是不是把他妻子杀啦？”
“也不全是那么回事儿。她跑啦，带着孩子到她朋友那儿去啦；她在朋友家那会儿，孩子死了。他想把尸首要回去，葬在他们家里人一个地方，可是她不干。有天晚上，她男人就赶辆车来了，硬闯进那家房子，把棺材偷走了；可他给逮住了，倔强得很呢，死也不肯说干吗闯民宅。他们就按盗窃罪把他收拾了，他就是为这个在棕房子小山上给吊起来，绞死的。他死了以后，他女人也疯了。不过说他是你们家里人，大概不是真的，就像跟我不沾边一样。”
从炉边发出来一个又小又慢的说话声音，仿佛从地里冒出来的：“妈，我要是你，才不跟爸爸结婚呢！”这是时光老爹说的，他们一下子愣住了，因为他们早把他忘掉了。
“哦，这不过是讲故事嘛。”苏挺有兴致地说。
在他们举行婚礼前夕，寡妇给他们讲起这般令人为之激动的传说之后，他们都站起来，向客人道了晚安，各自回房歇了。
第二天早上，苏的精神紧张程度有增无减，她在动身之前把裘德悄悄拉进起坐室。“裘德，我要你吻我，要像情人那样吻我，要打心里吻我。”她说，哆哆嗦嗦，偎依着他，睫毛沾着泪花。“以后再也不会这样吻我啦！我但愿咱们没开始办这件事才好呢。昨晚上讲的那个故事太吓人啦！我今天结婚的心思都给搞糟啦。听了它，我觉着咱们家就跟埃特里乌斯府一样，脱不开悲剧性的厄运！”
“要不就跟耶罗波安府一样。”前神学研究者说。
“是啊！咱们两个去结婚恐怕太操切啦！我得对着你起誓，誓词跟我对从前那个丈夫起的一样，你呢，对我起誓，也跟先前对你那位夫人起的没两样。咱们已经有过一番试验，得到了教人猛省的教训，可咱们还是不管不顾！”
“你心里这么七上八下，弄得我也扫兴了。”他说。“我原来还当你一定欢天喜地呢。不过你不喜欢就不喜欢，假装喜欢又有什么意思！你觉着为这件事心里压抑，连带着叫我也觉着压抑啦！”
“这跟从前那个上午一样，叫人不痛快——就是这么回事。”她咕哝着。“现在咱们就去吧。”
他们挽着胳臂，开始往前面说过的那个登记处走，除了艾林寡妇，没别的证人陪着。天凄冷。沉暗，从“殿宇巍峨的泰晤士河”上吹过来浓重的湿雾，飘在整个市区上。登记处台阶上留着进去的人的泥脚印，过厅里放着湿漉漉的雨伞。处里头有几个人凑在一块儿，我们这对情人一眼看见一个大兵跟一个年轻女人正在履行结婚程序。苏、裘德和寡妇都站在后首地方，苏看着墙上的结婚通告。这间屋子在它的常客眼里是平平常常的，可是按他们两个脾性，就成了沉闷阴郁的地方了。一面墙从上到下摆的是小牛皮封面已经发霉的法律书籍，另外的地方放着邮政业务指南和其他参考书。用红带子扎好的卷宗放满了分格的文件架，有几个铁制保险柜嵌在墙里边，没上漆的地板也跟台阶一样，叫来过的客人的脚踩脏了。
那个兵沉着脸，一副不情愿的样子，新娘却显得凄楚可怜，又羞又怕，一只眼睛已经给打青，显而易见，她很快就要做母亲。他们短短的手续一会儿办完了，两个人跟他们的朋友散散落落地走了出去。其中有个证人仿佛认识苏和裘德的样子，走过他们旁边时，信口对他们说：“瞧见刚才进来的那对儿吗？哈哈！那家伙今儿早上才从监狱放出来。她上监狱门口接他的，把他直接带到这儿来了。她可要赔上整个家当哟。”
苏转过头来，只见一个丑陋不堪的男人，头发剪得短短的，挽着一个大扁麻子脸的女人；那女人喝得满脸通红，再加上就要所愿得偿，一副得意的样子。他们怪模怪样地向出去的那对行礼，然后朝裘德和苏前面走过来。但是苏已经越来越气绥，直往后退，转到她的情人身边，小嘴就像个孩子难过得要哭出来的样子。
“裘德——我不想在这儿呆下去啦！但愿咱们没上这儿来哟！这地方真叫我心惊肉跳；咱们的爱情到了峰巅，可这地方未免太合不到一块儿啦！要是非办不可，我想就上教堂去办吧。那儿总不会这么俗不可耐！”
“亲爱的小姑娘，”裘德说，“你瞧瞧你显着多烦恼，都没血色啦！”
“我看，到这地步，非得在这儿表演一番不可吗？”
“那倒不一定吧。”
他去找办事员谈了谈就回来了。“不一定在这儿办，——咱们真要结婚的话，哪怕现在，这儿也好，别处也好，都行，全看咱们自个儿的意思。”裘德说。“咱们可以上教堂结婚，要是现在这个证不好用，他可以给咱们另发一个，我看是这样。不管怎么着，你先定定心，我也定定心，然后咱们再商量商量好啦。”
他们像犯了什么罪似的，揣着鬼胎，蹑手蹑脚，溜了出去，关门时候连点声音都没有。随后跟过厅里的寡妇说，她先回家等他们；又说要是一定要有证人，他们临时随便找过路人就行。到了街上，他们故意找了个平常少人走的巷子，就像当年在麦尔切斯特市场那样，在那儿来回兜圈子。
“亲亲，现在咱们怎么办好呀？搞得个乱七八糟啦，我也没个主意啦。不过，随便怎么样，只要你喜欢，我就喜欢。”
“可是，裘德，最亲爱的，我真叫你苦恼啦！你原来就想在那儿办了，对不对？”
“唉，说实在的，我一进去，就觉着不对劲儿。那地方叫你泄气，我也跟你差不多——多难看哪。后来我就想你早上说的，咱们到底该不该办结婚。”
他们没有目的地往前走，后来她站住了，又用她原来的细小嗓音说起来：“这件事，咱们这么拿不定主意，也未免显得太没魄力！话说回来，这又比稀里糊涂再来个第二回要强得多。……刚才那个场面，我觉着太可怕啦！那个臃肿不堪的女人脸上是怎么个表情啊，她认定了跟那个囚犯，那可不是几个钟头，是要跟他一辈子呢。再说那个可怜的女人——就因为她性格软弱，做了所谓可耻的事，想洗刷掉，就不惜糟蹋自己，嫁给那个不拿她当人的暴君，那才是真正洗不掉的耻辱啊。只有永远躲开那个人，她才有得救的唯一机会啊……这是咱们这个教区的教堂吧，对不对？咱们要是按普通路子办，就在这儿吧？里头好像做礼拜，还是干什么呢。”
裘德走过去，探头往门里瞧。“哈——这儿也举行婚礼哪。”他说。“今天似乎人人都踩着咱们脚印干哪。”
苏说她猜想这是因为四旬斋刚过去，一到这时候总是大群大群人结婚。“咱们去听听吧。”她说。“倒看看教堂里结婚是个什么感觉。”
他们进了教堂，找了后排位子坐下，看着祭坛前正在进行的婚礼。那订了婚约的一对，样子像是富裕的中产阶级中人，婚礼也是习见那样非常漂亮，很吸引人。他们即使在稍远地方，也看得出来新娘捧着的花直抖，听得见她呆呆地嘴里咕噜着什么，其中究竟有什么意义，似乎她一点没动脑筋，根本不知所云。苏跟裘德听着听着，各自看到了当年他们自己履行过的同样作茧自缚的仪式。
“可怜的东西，她的感受当然跟我不一样，我是有过经验，再来第二回。”她悄悄地说。“你看，他们初次品味，还把这一套当成天经地义。可像咱们这样，或者至少像我这样，有过经验，终于明白过来这样做的严重性。也许我有这样的吹毛求疵的习气，有时候更不免这种感觉，我要是明知故犯，再来这么一次，那我的内心真是不道德啦。进来之后，看了这一套，真叫我心里发怵，我觉着教堂里婚礼和登记处里没什么两样。……裘德呀，咱们这一对儿意志薄弱，前怕狼，后怕虎，没个准稿子，别人也许挺自信的事情，我可是大感怀疑——我一定抵制那个叫人恶心的第二份买卖式契约！”
于是他们不自然地笑了笑，继续议论眼前这场现身说法。裘德说他也觉得他们俩都太神经过敏——根本不该落生人世间，更何况还要凑到一块儿采取对他们来说可谓荒谬绝伦的冒险行动——结成婚姻了。他的未婚妻打了个冷战，跟着顶真地问，他是不是自始就觉得他们不该不管死活，签那个卖身契呢？“要是你认为咱们已经心中有数，承受不了这东西，而且明知如此了，还要提出来咱们去口是心非地发假誓，这实在叫人捉摸不透啊。”
“既然你问我，我就说吧，我倒是真这么想的。”裘德说。“可是你别忘了，亲爱的，只有你愿意我才办哪。”乘着她犹豫，他就进一步承认，他固然认为这件事他们该当办得到，不过他跟她一样，心有余而气不足，胆战心惊，所以到头来还是虎头蛇尾——大概因为他们生性乖僻，跟别人都不一样吧。“咱们太神经过敏啦；关键就在这个地方，苏啊！”他一口气说完了。
“我可是想，像咱们这样的人，比咱们想的还要多呢！”
“呃，这我就不知道了。订婚约的本意没什么不好，对好多人也合适，这是没什么疑问的；不过碰到咱们这种情形，婚约原来的宗旨就适得其反了，因为咱们是怪里怪气那种人，家庭关系一带上强迫性质，什么夫妻和美，相依为命就全告吹了。”
苏仍然坚持自己的意见：他们并没什么古怪或特别地方，别的人跟他们一样。“所有的人慢慢地都会跟咱们的感觉一样。咱们不过稍微走在前面一点。再过五十年、一百年，如今这一对的子孙，行动起来，感觉起来，比咱们还厉害呢。他们将来看待这纷杂扰攘的人间比咱们这会儿要透彻得多啦，好比说
像咱们这样的形体造孽一样不断
繁殖，而且他们将来也没胆子再把他们生出来。”
“这句诗太可怕啦！……不过我在灰溜溜的时候对自己的同类也有同感。”
他们继续唧唧咕咕，后来苏说得比较豁达了：
“唉——这一般的问题跟咱们有什么关系，何必为它自寻烦恼？咱们俩说的道理尽管不大一样，得出来的结论还不是一回事！咱们这两个特殊人物，要是起了誓又取消不了，那就到了绝境啦。所以，裘德，咱们还是回家，别把咱们的好梦砸了吧！你说好不好，我的朋友；不管我怎么异想天开，你都是听我的！”
“我自己也一样异想天开，跟你大致不差。”
这时在场的人正集中注意力看着一伙人拥着新娘进了法衣室，他躲在一根柱子后面轻轻吻了她一下，然后走出教堂。他们在教堂门口等着，一直等到两三辆马车去而复回，新婚夫妻走到了光大化日之下。苏叹了口气。
“新娘手里那捧花的可怜样儿，真像古时候当祭品的小母牛身上装饰的花环！”
“苏，话得说回来。女人也不见得比男人倒霉到哪儿。这一点，有些女人没法明白，她们不是反对她们所处的社会环境，而是反对另一方的男人，其实他们也是受害者；这就像在拥挤的人群里头，一个女人因为男人撞了她，就开口伤人，殊不知那个男人也还是让人推搡得无法可想，代人受过啊。”
“是喽——这个比方倒有点像。不去跟男人联合起来对付共同的敌人，反对社会的压制，反而跟男人过不去。”这时新娘新郎已经上了马车走了，他们也就跟别的闲人一齐散掉。“不行，咱们不能那么办。”她接着说。“至少现在不行。”
他们到了家，挽着胳臂从窗口走过，瞧见寡妇在窗里望着他们。“哎呀，”他们一进门，客人就大声说，“我一瞧见你们那个热乎劲儿往门这边来，心里说，‘他们总算一块石头落了地啦！’”
他们用了三言两语表示没有。
“怎么——你们真没办？该死该死，我再想不到活到如今，眼瞧着老话说的‘急结婚，慢后悔’在你们手里泡汤啦！我该回马利格林啦——算怎么回事呀。新派的想法就这样折腾咱们吗？我那会儿哪有人怕结婚哪，除了怕炮弹，怕没隔宿粮，还怕什么！我跟我那口子一结了婚，什么也不想，就跟玩过了打拐子一样啊！”
“孩子来了，什么也别跟他说。”苏心情紧张地说。“他准是想什么都顺顺当当的。顶好别让他觉着奇怪，想不明白。当然，现在这么着，也不过是往后推一推，再考虑考虑。只要咱们快快乐乐的，跟张三李四又有什么相干。”
收听单词发音 |
1
deliberately
|
|
| adv.审慎地；蓄意地；故意地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
2
quaint
|
|
| adj.古雅的，离奇有趣的，奇怪的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
3
weird
|
|
| adj.古怪的，离奇的；怪诞的，神秘而可怕的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
4
tragic
|
|
| adj.悲剧的，悲剧性的，悲惨的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
5
aged
|
|
| adj.年老的，陈年的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
6
Christian
|
|
| adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
7
privately
|
|
| adv.以私人的身份，悄悄地，私下地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
8
advent
|
|
| n.(重要事件等的)到来，来临 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
9
superintendent
|
|
| n.监督人，主管，总监；(英国)警务长 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
10
decided
|
|
| adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
11
undertaking
|
|
| n.保证，许诺，事业 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
12
volatile
|
|
| adj.反复无常的，挥发性的，稍纵即逝的，脾气火爆的；n.挥发性物质 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
13
apprehensive
|
|
| adj.担心的，恐惧的，善于领会的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
14
horrid
|
|
| adj.可怕的；令人惊恐的；恐怖的；极讨厌的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
15
sordid
|
|
| adj.肮脏的，不干净的，卑鄙的，暗淡的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
16
betrothed
|
|
| n. 已订婚者 动词betroth的过去式和过去分词 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
17
scriptures
|
|
| 经文，圣典( scripture的名词复数 )； 经典 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
18
profane
|
|
| adj.亵神的，亵渎的；vt.亵渎，玷污 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
19
interval
|
|
| n.间隔，间距；幕间休息，中场休息 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
20
furtively
|
|
| adv. 偷偷地, 暗中地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
21
affixed
|
|
| adj.[医]附着的，附着的v.附加( affix的过去式和过去分词 )；粘贴；加以；盖（印章） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
22
clinch
|
|
| v.敲弯，钉牢；确定；扭住对方 [参]clench | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
23
attachment
|
|
| n.附属物，附件；依恋；依附 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
24
inviting
|
|
| adj.诱人的，引人注目的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
25
brass
|
|
| n.黄铜；黄铜器，铜管乐器 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
26
allotted
|
|
| 分配，拨给，摊派( allot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
27
retired
|
|
| adj.隐退的，退休的，退役的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
28
spoke
|
|
| n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
29
jocund
|
|
| adj.快乐的，高兴的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
30
thwart
|
|
| v.阻挠，妨碍，反对；adj.横(断的) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
31
milestone
|
|
| n.里程碑；划时代的事件 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
32
murmur
|
|
| n.低语，低声的怨言；v.低语，低声而言 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
33
coffin
|
|
| n.棺材，灵柩 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
34
obstinate
|
|
| adj.顽固的，倔强的，不易屈服的，较难治愈的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
35
intensified
|
|
| v.（使）增强， （使）加剧( intensify的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
36
sitting-room
|
|
| n.（BrE）客厅，起居室 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
37
lashes
|
|
| n.鞭挞( lash的名词复数 )；鞭子；突然猛烈的一击；急速挥动v.鞭打( lash的第三人称单数 )；煽动；紧系；怒斥 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
38
doom
|
|
| n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
39
temerity
|
|
| n.鲁莽，冒失 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
40
vow
|
|
| n.誓(言)，誓约；v.起誓，立誓 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
41
vowed
|
|
| 起誓，发誓（vow的过去式与过去分词形式） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
42
deterrent
|
|
| n.阻碍物，制止物；adj.威慑的，遏制的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
43
joyful
|
|
| adj.欢乐的，令人欢欣的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
44
dismal
|
|
| adj.阴沉的，凄凉的，令人忧郁的，差劲的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
45
chilly
|
|
| adj.凉快的，寒冷的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
46
dreary
|
|
| adj.令人沮丧的，沉闷的，单调乏味的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
47
temperament
|
|
| n.气质，性格，性情 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
48
calf
|
|
| n.小牛，犊，幼仔，小牛皮 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
49
recess
|
|
| n.短期休息，壁凹（墙上装架子，柜子等凹处） | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
50
sullen
|
|
| adj.愠怒的，闷闷不乐的，(天气等)阴沉的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
51
casually
|
|
| adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
52
gaol
|
|
| n.(jail)监狱；(不加冠词)监禁；vt.使…坐牢 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
53
brink
|
|
| n.(悬崖、河流等的)边缘，边沿 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
54
jocosely
|
|
| adv.说玩笑地，诙谐地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
|
55
saluted
|
|
| v.欢迎，致敬( salute的过去式和过去分词 )；赞扬，赞颂 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
56
unnatural
|
|
| adj.不自然的；反常的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
57
climax
|
|
| n.顶点；高潮；v.(使)达到顶点 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
58
alley
|
|
| n.小巷，胡同；小径，小路 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
59
depressed
|
|
| adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
60
vaguely
|
|
| adv.含糊地，暖昧地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
61
nominal
|
|
| adj.名义上的；(金额、租金)微不足道的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
62
bondage
|
|
| n.奴役，束缚 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
63
tyrant
|
|
| n.暴君，专制的君主，残暴的人 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
64
salvation
|
|
| n.（尤指基督）救世，超度，拯救，解困 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
65
tack
|
|
| n.大头钉；假缝，粗缝 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
66
proceedings
|
|
| n.进程，过程，议程；诉讼(程序)；公报 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
67
awakened
|
|
| v.（使）醒( awaken的过去式和过去分词 )；（使）觉醒；弄醒；（使）意识到 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
68
immoral
|
|
| adj.不道德的，淫荡的，荒淫的，有伤风化的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
69
preposterous
|
|
| adj.荒谬的，可笑的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
70
joint
|
|
| adj.联合的，共同的；n.关节，接合处；v.连接，贴合 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
71
shuddered
|
|
| v.战栗( shudder的过去式和过去分词 )；发抖；（机器、车辆等）突然震动；颤动 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
72
perjure
|
|
| v.作伪证；使发假誓 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
73
dread
|
|
| vt.担忧，忧虑；惧怕，不敢；n.担忧，畏惧 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
74
incompetency
|
|
| n.无能力，不适当 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
75
peculiarities
|
|
| n. 特质, 特性, 怪癖, 古怪 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
76
vividly
|
|
| adv.清楚地，鲜明地，生动地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
77
hideously
|
|
| adv.可怕地，非常讨厌地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
78
morbid
|
|
| adj.病的；致病的；病态的；可怕的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
79
risky
|
|
| adj.有风险的，冒险的 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
80
killing
|
|
| n.巨额利润；突然赚大钱，发大财 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
81
WHIMS
|
|
| 虚妄，禅病 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
82
coercion
|
|
| n.强制，高压统治 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
83
briefly
|
|
| adv.简单地，简短地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
84
repent
|
|
| v.悔悟，悔改，忏悔，后悔 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
|
85
nervously
|
|
| adv.神情激动地，不安地 | |
参考例句： |
|
|
|
| 欢迎访问英文小说网 |