About half-past nine Jacob left the house, his door slamming, other doors slamming, buying his paper, mounting his omnibus, or, weather permitting, walking his road as other people do. Head bent2 down, a desk, a telephone, books bound in green leather, electric light.... "Fresh coals, sir?" ... "Your tea, sir."... Talk about football, the Hotspurs, the Harlequins; six-thirty Star brought in by the office boy; the rooks of Gray's Inn passing overhead; branches in the fog thin and brittle3; and through the roar of traffic now and again a voice shouting: "Verdict--verdict--winner--winner," while letters accumulate in a basket, Jacob signs them, and each evening finds him, as he takes his coat down, with some muscle of the brain new stretched.
Then, sometimes a game of chess; or pictures in Bond Street, or a long way home to take the air with Bonamy on his arm, meditatively4 marching, head thrown back, the world a spectacle, the early moon above the steeples coming in for praise, the sea-gulls flying high, Nelson on his column surveying the horizon, and the world our ship.
Meanwhile, poor Betty Flanders's letter, having caught the second post, lay on the hall table--poor Betty Flanders writing her son's name, Jacob Alan Flanders, Esq., as mothers do, and the ink pale, profuse5, suggesting how mothers down at Scarborough scribble6 over the fire with their feet on the fender, when tea's cleared away, and can never, never say, whatever it may be--probably this--Don't go with bad women, do be a good boy; wear your thick shirts; and come back, come back, come back to me.
But she said nothing of the kind. "Do you remember old Miss Wargrave, who used to be so kind when you had the whooping-cough?" she wrote; "she's dead at last, poor thing. They would like it if you wrote. Ellen came over and we spent a nice day shopping. Old Mouse gets very stiff, and we have to walk him up the smallest hill. Rebecca, at last, after I don't know how long, went into Mr. Adamson's. Three teeth, he says, must come out. Such mild weather for the time of year, the little buds actually on the pear trees. And Mrs. Jarvis tells me--"Mrs. Flanders liked Mrs. Jarvis, always said of her that she was too good for such a quiet place, and, though she never listened to her discontent and told her at the end of it (looking up, sucking her thread, or taking off her spectacles) that a little peat wrapped round the iris7 roots keeps them from the frost, and Parrot's great white sale is Tuesday next, "do remember,"--Mrs. Flanders knew precisely8 how Mrs. Jarvis felt; and how interesting her letters were, about Mrs. Jarvis, could one read them year in, year out--the unpublished works of women, written by the fireside in pale profusion9, dried by the flame, for the blotting-paper's worn to holes and the nib1 cleft10 and clotted11. Then Captain Barfoot. Him she called "the Captain," spoke12 of frankly13, yet never without reserve. The Captain was enquiring14 for her about Garfit's acre; advised chickens; could promise profit; or had the sciatica; or Mrs. Barfoot had been indoors for weeks; or the Captain says things look bad, politics that is, for as Jacob knew, the Captain would sometimes talk, as the evening waned15, about Ireland or India; and then Mrs. Flanders would fall musing16 about Morty, her brother, lost all these years--had the natives got him, was his ship sunk--would the Admiralty tell her?--the Captain knocking his pipe out, as Jacob knew, rising to go, stiffly stretching to pick up Mrs. Flanders's wool which had rolled beneath the chair. Talk of the chicken farm came back and back, the women, even at fifty, impulsive17 at heart, sketching18 on the cloudy future flocks of Leghorns, Cochin Chinas, Orpingtons; like Jacob in the blur20 of her outline; but powerful as he was; fresh and vigorous, running about the house, scolding Rebecca.
The letter lay upon the hall table; Florinda coming in that night took it up with her, put it on the table as she kissed Jacob, and Jacob seeing the hand, left it there under the lamp, between the biscuit-tin and the tobacco-box. They shut the bedroom door behind them.
The sitting-room21 neither knew nor cared. The door was shut; and to suppose that wood, when it creaks, transmits anything save that rats are busy and wood dry is childish. These old houses are only brick and wood, soaked in human sweat, grained with human dirt. But if the pale blue envelope lying by the biscuit-box had the feelings of a mother, the heart was torn by the little creak, the sudden stir. Behind the door was the obscene thing, the alarming presence, and terror would come over her as at death, or the birth of a child. Better, perhaps, burst in and face it than sit in the antechamber listening to the little creak, the sudden stir, for her heart was swollen22, and pain threaded it. My son, my son-- such would be her cry, uttered to hide her vision of him stretched with Florinda, inexcusable, irrational23, in a woman with three children living at Scarborough. And the fault lay with Florinda. Indeed, when the door opened and the couple came out, Mrs. Flanders would have flounced upon her--only it was Jacob who came first, in his dressing-gown, amiable24, authoritative25, beautifully healthy, like a baby after an airing, with an eye clear as running water. Florinda followed, lazily stretching; yawning a little; arranging her hair at the looking-glass--while Jacob read his mother's letter.
Let us consider letters--how they come at breakfast, and at night, with their yellow stamps and their green stamps, immortalized by the postmark--for to see one's own envelope on another's table is to realize how soon deeds sever26 and become alien. Then at last the power of the mind to quit the body is manifest, and perhaps we fear or hate or wish annihilated27 this phantom28 of ourselves, lying on the table. Still, there are letters that merely say how dinner's at seven; others ordering coal; making appointments. The hand in them is scarcely perceptible, let alone the voice or the scowl29. Ah, but when the post knocks and the letter comes always the miracle seems repeated--speech attempted. Venerable are letters, infinitely30 brave, forlorn, and lost.
Life would split asunder31 without them. "Come to tea, come to dinner, what's the truth of the story? have you heard the news? life in the capital is gay; the Russian dancers...." These are our stays and props32. These lace our days together and make of life a perfect globe. And yet, and yet ... when we go to dinner, when pressing finger-tips we hope to meet somewhere soon, a doubt insinuates33 itself; is this the way to spend our days? the rare, the limited, so soon dealt out to us--drinking tea? dining out? And the notes accumulate. And the telephones ring. And everywhere we go wires and tubes surround us to carry the voices that try to penetrate34 before the last card is dealt and the days are over. "Try to penetrate," for as we lift the cup, shake the hand, express the hope, something whispers, Is this all? Can I never know, share, be certain? Am I doomed35 all my days to write letters, send voices, which fall upon the tea-table, fade upon the passage, making appointments, while life dwindles36, to come and dine? Yet letters are venerable; and the telephone valiant37, for the journey is a lonely one, and if bound together by notes and telephones we went in company, perhaps--who knows?--we might talk by the way.
Well, people have tried. Byron wrote letters. So did Cowper. For centuries the writing-desk has contained sheets fit precisely for the communications of friends. Masters of language, poets of long ages, have turned from the sheet that endures to the sheet that perishes, pushing aside the tea-tray, drawing close to the fire (for letters are written when the dark presses round a bright red cave), and addressed themselves to the task of reaching, touching38, penetrating39 the individual heart. Were it possible! But words have been used too often; touched and turned, and left exposed to the dust of the street. The words we seek hang close to the tree. We come at dawn and find them sweet beneath the leaf.
Mrs. Flanders wrote letters; Mrs. Jarvis wrote them; Mrs. Durrant too; Mother Stuart actually scented40 her pages, thereby41 adding a flavour which the English language fails to provide; Jacob had written in his day long letters about art, morality, and politics to young men at college. Clara Durrant's letters were those of a child. Florinda--the impediment between Florinda and her pen was something impassable. Fancy a butterfly, gnat42, or other winged insect, attached to a twig43 which, clogged44 with mud, it rolls across a page. Her spelling was abominable45. Her sentiments infantile. And for some reason when she wrote she declared her belief in God. Then there were crosses--tear stains; and the hand itself rambling46 and redeemed48 only by the fact--which always did redeem47 Florinda--by the fact that she cared. Yes, whether it was for chocolate creams, hot baths, the shape of her face in the looking-glass, Florinda could no more pretend a feeling than swallow whisky. Incontinent was her rejection49. Great men are truthful50, and these little prostitutes, staring in the fire, taking out a powder-puff, decorating lips at an inch of looking-glass, have (so Jacob thought) an inviolable fidelity51.
Then he saw her turning up Greek Street upon another man's arm.
The light from the arc lamp drenched52 him from head to toe. He stood for a minute motionless beneath it. Shadows chequered the street. Other figures, single and together, poured out, wavered across, and obliterated53 Florinda and the man.
The light drenched Jacob from head to toe. You could see the pattern on his trousers; the old thorns on his stick; his shoe laces; bare hands; and face.
It was as if a stone were ground to dust; as if white sparks flew from a livid whetstone, which was his spine54; as if the switchback railway, having swooped55 to the depths, fell, fell, fell. This was in his face.
Whether we know what was in his mind is another question. Granted ten years' seniority and a difference of sex, fear of him comes first; this is swallowed up by a desire to help--overwhelming sense, reason, and the time of night; anger would follow close on that--with Florinda, with destiny; and then up would bubble an irresponsible optimism. "Surely there's enough light in the street at this moment to drown all our cares in gold!" Ah, what's the use of saying it? Even while you speak and look over your shoulder towards Shaftesbury Avenue, destiny is chipping a dent56 in him. He has turned to go. As for following him back to his rooms, no--that we won't do.
Yet that, of course, is precisely what one does. He let himself in and shut the door, though it was only striking ten on one of the city clocks. No one can go to bed at ten. Nobody was thinking of going to bed. It was January and dismal57, but Mrs. Wagg stood on her doorstep, as if expecting something to happen. A barrel-organ played like an obscene nightingale beneath wet leaves. Children ran across the road. Here and there one could see brown panelling inside the hall door.... The march that the mind keeps beneath the windows of others is queer enough. Now distracted by brown panelling; now by a fern in a pot; here improvising58 a few phrases to dance with the barrel-organ; again snatching a detached gaiety from a drunken man; then altogether absorbed by words the poor shout across the street at each other (so outright59, so lusty)--yet all the while having for centre, for magnet, a young man alone in his room.
"Life is wicked--life is detestable," cried Rose Shaw.
The strange thing about life is that though the nature of it must have been apparent to every one for hundreds of years, no one has left any adequate account of it. The streets of London have their map; but our passions are uncharted. What are you going to meet if you turn this corner?
"Holborn straight ahead of you" says the policeman. Ah, but where are you going if instead of brushing past the old man with the white beard, the silver medal, and the cheap violin, you let him go on with his story, which ends in an invitation to step somewhere, to his room, presumably, off Queen's Square, and there he shows you a collection of birds' eggs and a letter from the Prince of Wales's secretary, and this (skipping the intermediate stages) brings you one winter's day to the Essex coast, where the little boat makes off to the ship, and the ship sails and you behold60 on the skyline the Azores; and the flamingoes rise; and there you sit on the verge61 of the marsh62 drinking rum-punch, an outcast from civilization, for you have committed a crime, are infected with yellow fever as likely as not, and--fill in the sketch19 as you like. As frequent as street corners in Holborn are these chasms63 in the continuity of our ways. Yet we keep straight on.
Rose Shaw, talking in rather an emotional manner to Mr. Bowley at Mrs. Durrant's evening party a few nights back, said that life was wicked because a man called Jimmy refused to marry a woman called (if memory serves) Helen Aitken.
Both were beautiful. Both were inanimate. The oval tea-table invariably separated them, and the plate of biscuits was all he ever gave her. He bowed; she inclined her head. They danced. He danced divinely. They sat in the alcove64; never a word was said. Her pillow was wet with tears. Kind Mr. Bowley and dear Rose Shaw marvelled65 and deplored66. Bowley had rooms in the Albany. Rose was re-born every evening precisely as the clock struck eight. All four were civilization's triumphs, and if you persist that a command of the English language is part of our inheritance, one can only reply that beauty is almost always dumb. Male beauty in association with female beauty breeds in the onlooker67 a sense of fear. Often have I seen them--Helen and Jimmy--and likened them to ships adrift, and feared for my own little craft. Or again, have you ever watched fine collie dogs couchant at twenty yards' distance? As she passed him his cup there was that quiver in her flanks. Bowley saw what was up-asked Jimmy to breakfast. Helen must have confided68 in Rose. For my own part, I find it exceedingly difficult to interpret songs without words. And now Jimmy feeds crows in Flanders and Helen visits hospitals. Oh, life is damnable, life is wicked, as Rose Shaw said.
The lamps of London uphold the dark as upon the points of burning bayonets. The yellow canopy69 sinks and swells70 over the great four-poster. Passengers in the mail-coaches running into London in the eighteenth century looked through leafless branches and saw it flaring71 beneath them. The light burns behind yellow blinds and pink blinds, and above fanlights, and down in basement windows. The street market in Soho is fierce with light. Raw meat, china mugs, and silk stockings blaze in it. Raw voices wrap themselves round the flaring gas-jets. Arms akimbo, they stand on the pavement bawling--Messrs. Kettle and Wilkinson; their wives sit in the shop, furs wrapped round their necks, arms folded, eyes contemptuous. Such faces as one sees. The little man fingering the meat must have squatted72 before the fire in innumerable lodging-houses, and heard and seen and known so much that it seems to utter itself even volubly from dark eyes, loose lips, as he fingers the meat silently, his face sad as a poet's, and never a song sung. Shawled women carry babies with purple eyelids73; boys stand at street corners; girls look across the road--rude illustrations, pictures in a book whose pages we turn over and over as if we should at last find what we look for. Every face, every shop, bedroom window, public-house, and dark square is a picture feverishly74 turned--in search of what? It is the same with books. What do we seek through millions of pages? Still hopefully turning the pages-- oh, here is Jacob's room.
He sat at the table reading the Globe. The pinkish sheet was spread flat before him. He propped75 his face in his hand, so that the skin of his cheek was wrinkled in deep folds. Terribly severe he looked, set, and defiant76. (What people go through in half an hour! But nothing could save him. These events are features of our landscape. A foreigner coming to London could scarcely miss seeing St. Paul's.) He judged life. These pinkish and greenish newspapers are thin sheets of gelatine pressed nightly over the brain and heart of the world. They take the impression of the whole. Jacob cast his eye over it. A strike, a murder, football, bodies found; vociferation from all parts of England simultaneously77. How miserable78 it is that the Globe newspaper offers nothing better to Jacob Flanders! When a child begins to read history one marvels79, sorrowfully, to hear him spell out in his new voice the ancient words.
The Prime Minister's speech was reported in something over five columns. Feeling in his pocket, Jacob took out a pipe and proceeded to fill it. Five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes passed. Jacob took the paper over to the fire. The Prime Minister proposed a measure for giving Home Rule to Ireland. Jacob knocked out his pipe. He was certainly thinking about Home Rule in Ireland--a very difficult matter. A very cold night.
The snow, which had been falling all night, lay at three o'clock in the afternoon over the fields and the hill. Clumps80 of withered81 grass stood out upon the hill-top; the furze bushes were black, and now and then a black shiver crossed the snow as the wind drove flurries of frozen particles before it. The sound was that of a broom sweeping--sweeping.
The stream crept along by the road unseen by any one. Sticks and leaves caught in the frozen grass. The sky was sullen82 grey and the trees of black iron. Uncompromising was the severity of the country. At four o'clock the snow was again falling. The day had gone out.
A window tinged83 yellow about two feet across alone combated the white fields and the black trees .... At six o'clock a man's figure carrying a lantern crossed the field .... A raft of twig stayed upon a stone, suddenly detached itself, and floated towards the culvert .... A load of snow slipped and fell from a fir branch .... Later there was a mournful cry .... A motor car came along the road shoving the dark before it .... The dark shut down behind it....
Spaces of complete immobility separated each of these movements. The land seemed to lie dead .... Then the old shepherd returned stiffly across the field. Stiffly and painfully the frozen earth was trodden under and gave beneath pressure like a treadmill84. The worn voices of clocks repeated the fact of the hour all night long.
Jacob, too, heard them, and raked out the fire. He rose. He stretched himself. He went to bed.
1 nib | |
n.钢笔尖;尖头 | |
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2 bent | |
n.爱好,癖好;adj.弯的;决心的,一心的 | |
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3 brittle | |
adj.易碎的;脆弱的;冷淡的;(声音)尖利的 | |
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4 meditatively | |
adv.冥想地 | |
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5 profuse | |
adj.很多的,大量的,极其丰富的 | |
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6 scribble | |
v.潦草地书写,乱写,滥写;n.潦草的写法,潦草写成的东西,杂文 | |
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7 iris | |
n.虹膜,彩虹 | |
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8 precisely | |
adv.恰好,正好,精确地,细致地 | |
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9 profusion | |
n.挥霍;丰富 | |
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10 cleft | |
n.裂缝;adj.裂开的 | |
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11 clotted | |
adj.凝结的v.凝固( clot的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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12 spoke | |
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说 | |
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13 frankly | |
adv.坦白地,直率地;坦率地说 | |
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14 enquiring | |
a.爱打听的,显得好奇的 | |
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15 waned | |
v.衰落( wane的过去式和过去分词 );(月)亏;变小;变暗淡 | |
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16 musing | |
n. 沉思,冥想 adj. 沉思的, 冥想的 动词muse的现在分词形式 | |
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17 impulsive | |
adj.冲动的,刺激的;有推动力的 | |
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18 sketching | |
n.草图 | |
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19 sketch | |
n.草图;梗概;素描;v.素描;概述 | |
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20 blur | |
n.模糊不清的事物;vt.使模糊,使看不清楚 | |
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21 sitting-room | |
n.(BrE)客厅,起居室 | |
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22 swollen | |
adj.肿大的,水涨的;v.使变大,肿胀 | |
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23 irrational | |
adj.无理性的,失去理性的 | |
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24 amiable | |
adj.和蔼可亲的,友善的,亲切的 | |
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25 authoritative | |
adj.有权威的,可相信的;命令式的;官方的 | |
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26 sever | |
v.切开,割开;断绝,中断 | |
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27 annihilated | |
v.(彻底)消灭( annihilate的过去式和过去分词 );使无效;废止;彻底击溃 | |
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28 phantom | |
n.幻影,虚位,幽灵;adj.错觉的,幻影的,幽灵的 | |
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29 scowl | |
vi.(at)生气地皱眉,沉下脸,怒视;n.怒容 | |
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30 infinitely | |
adv.无限地,无穷地 | |
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31 asunder | |
adj.分离的,化为碎片 | |
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32 props | |
小道具; 支柱( prop的名词复数 ); 支持者; 道具; (橄榄球中的)支柱前锋 | |
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33 insinuates | |
n.暗示( insinuate的名词复数 );巧妙或迂回地潜入;(使)缓慢进入;慢慢伸入v.暗示( insinuate的第三人称单数 );巧妙或迂回地潜入;(使)缓慢进入;慢慢伸入 | |
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34 penetrate | |
v.透(渗)入;刺入,刺穿;洞察,了解 | |
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35 doomed | |
命定的 | |
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36 dwindles | |
v.逐渐变少或变小( dwindle的第三人称单数 ) | |
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37 valiant | |
adj.勇敢的,英勇的;n.勇士,勇敢的人 | |
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38 touching | |
adj.动人的,使人感伤的 | |
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39 penetrating | |
adj.(声音)响亮的,尖锐的adj.(气味)刺激的adj.(思想)敏锐的,有洞察力的 | |
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40 scented | |
adj.有香味的;洒香水的;有气味的v.嗅到(scent的过去分词) | |
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41 thereby | |
adv.因此,从而 | |
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42 gnat | |
v.对小事斤斤计较,琐事 | |
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43 twig | |
n.小树枝,嫩枝;v.理解 | |
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44 clogged | |
(使)阻碍( clog的过去式和过去分词 ); 淤滞 | |
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45 abominable | |
adj.可厌的,令人憎恶的 | |
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46 rambling | |
adj.[建]凌乱的,杂乱的 | |
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47 redeem | |
v.买回,赎回,挽回,恢复,履行(诺言等) | |
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48 redeemed | |
adj. 可赎回的,可救赎的 动词redeem的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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49 rejection | |
n.拒绝,被拒,抛弃,被弃 | |
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50 truthful | |
adj.真实的,说实话的,诚实的 | |
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51 fidelity | |
n.忠诚,忠实;精确 | |
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52 drenched | |
adj.湿透的;充满的v.使湿透( drench的过去式和过去分词 );在某人(某物)上大量使用(某液体) | |
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53 obliterated | |
v.除去( obliterate的过去式和过去分词 );涂去;擦掉;彻底破坏或毁灭 | |
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54 spine | |
n.脊柱,脊椎;(动植物的)刺;书脊 | |
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55 swooped | |
俯冲,猛冲( swoop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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56 dent | |
n.凹痕,凹坑;初步进展 | |
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57 dismal | |
adj.阴沉的,凄凉的,令人忧郁的,差劲的 | |
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58 improvising | |
即兴创作(improvise的现在分词形式) | |
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59 outright | |
adv.坦率地;彻底地;立即;adj.无疑的;彻底的 | |
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60 behold | |
v.看,注视,看到 | |
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61 verge | |
n.边,边缘;v.接近,濒临 | |
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62 marsh | |
n.沼泽,湿地 | |
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63 chasms | |
裂缝( chasm的名词复数 ); 裂口; 分歧; 差别 | |
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64 alcove | |
n.凹室 | |
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65 marvelled | |
v.惊奇,对…感到惊奇( marvel的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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66 deplored | |
v.悲叹,痛惜,强烈反对( deplore的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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67 onlooker | |
n.旁观者,观众 | |
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68 confided | |
v.吐露(秘密,心事等)( confide的过去式和过去分词 );(向某人)吐露(隐私、秘密等) | |
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69 canopy | |
n.天篷,遮篷 | |
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70 swells | |
增强( swell的第三人称单数 ); 肿胀; (使)凸出; 充满(激情) | |
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71 flaring | |
a.火焰摇曳的,过份艳丽的 | |
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72 squatted | |
v.像动物一样蹲下( squat的过去式和过去分词 );非法擅自占用(土地或房屋);为获得其所有权;而占用某片公共用地。 | |
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73 eyelids | |
n.眼睑( eyelid的名词复数 );眼睛也不眨一下;不露声色;面不改色 | |
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74 feverishly | |
adv. 兴奋地 | |
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75 propped | |
支撑,支持,维持( prop的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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76 defiant | |
adj.无礼的,挑战的 | |
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77 simultaneously | |
adv.同时发生地,同时进行地 | |
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78 miserable | |
adj.悲惨的,痛苦的;可怜的,糟糕的 | |
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79 marvels | |
n.奇迹( marvel的名词复数 );令人惊奇的事物(或事例);不平凡的成果;成就v.惊奇,对…感到惊奇( marvel的第三人称单数 ) | |
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80 clumps | |
n.(树、灌木、植物等的)丛、簇( clump的名词复数 );(土、泥等)团;块;笨重的脚步声v.(树、灌木、植物等的)丛、簇( clump的第三人称单数 );(土、泥等)团;块;笨重的脚步声 | |
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81 withered | |
adj. 枯萎的,干瘪的,(人身体的部分器官)因病萎缩的或未发育良好的 动词wither的过去式和过去分词形式 | |
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82 sullen | |
adj.愠怒的,闷闷不乐的,(天气等)阴沉的 | |
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83 tinged | |
v.(使)发丁丁声( ting的过去式和过去分词 ) | |
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84 treadmill | |
n.踏车;单调的工作 | |
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